Ahh I wish Pam Ferris was better known in America. The fun thing for Brit audiences is not only has she played some of the scariest villains on film. She's also played some of the kindest heroes on TV. Darling Buds of May, Rose and Thyme, Call the Midwife. She's better known for playing the kindly but no nonsense woman with the heart of gold in the UK. Which means watching her play a baddie is a quiet joy.
I also love how both Matilda and Miss Honey are framed as in the 100% right for leaving their abusers. I know this sounds minuscule but so many other stories try to make the victim the one in the wrong and paint the abuser(s) as the victims, being all “OH BUT THEY FAMIWY”
What I love about Roald Dahl's stories is they give kids in horrible situations the opportunity to make things better, but without just magically fixing everything. Telekinesis alone doesn't solve Matilda's home life, the peach doesn't give James comfort and love, the golden ticket doesn't eliminate Charlie's family's poverty. Instead, the kids have to use those opportunities in the right way to make things better, and usually that involves some selflessness and loyalty to others. It's a great lesson in not relying on magic to make things better, but to use one's gifts to improve their experience and the experience of those they care for.
And the 80's movie, "Carrie," isn't a movie to idolize the idea of ki**ing those who have wronged you with telekinesis. Even if it sounds satisfying to you. Even if you do understand where she was coming from. Was it smart; I think it was human. Love that line.
@@CloverPandaQ sure, but the idea's the same if you think about it... Carrie sought revenge with her powers and nothing good came of it in the end, what with everyone being dead. Matilda used her powers to help others, and had no outright intent to hurt anyone, not even Trunchbull... she managed to use her wit to scare her off instead, and found a way to earn everything she wanted. *that being said,* getting into the nitty-gritty beyond that is an entirely different discussion... considering Carrie was much more savagely abused, whereas Matilda was mostly neglected.
He was apparently a "father figure" of sorts to Mara Wilson on the set as well and have her a lot of industry advice too. The polar opposite of his character of camera.
@lukek5909 yeah and it's sad because Mara Wilson's mother died of breast cancer on April 26, 1996 before the movie came out, so he technically took care of her with his wife, Rhea Perlman who also played Matilda's mom.
Be careful when using it though. It's a popular saying in Dutch amongst simple people. They'll make a horrible mistake, like cheating on their fiancee with the waitress and then yell; 'Well, I ám a human! Humans make mistakes!' It goes; "Ik ben ook maar een mens." and it is usually spoken in a flat, Amsterdam accent by a gumchewing lady or tansprayed man giving the middle-finger.
Love her or hate her, there's no denying Matilda was a savage. I mean, she was really carrying around adoption papers ready to ditch her family at any given oportunity. 😂
I wanted to run away from home at age 9 (Mom told me if I left not to come back... her bluff game was strong), and I remember seeing this movie a year or two after my failed attempt at running away, and I remember kicking myself for not thinking of getting adoption papers at the ready. This movie spoke to me so strongly. They never beat me, but they were a lot like Matilda's parents regarding their emotional baggage. It made me feel less alone.
"You where born in to a family that dosn´t always apreciate you, but one day things are going to be very diffrent". I remember the first time I heard that line as an 8 year old with an active stomach ulcer and suicidal ideation from severe stress/burn out and not feeling so alone anymore. Now thanks to a lot of self reflection, choosen family and a cat I´m 34 and in a better place, well atleast not 8 and puking blood anymore...
That is very inspirational. I’m so sorry you had to go through that especially at such a young age, but you turned out so beautifully in the end! You built yourself up and are stronger than you know. I’m so proud of you! I wish you all the best
Miss Honey is one of my favorite characters of all time. She is a hero in her own right. To go through the things she has gone through and remain kind? To not completely crumble? To remain in the orbit of her abuser and help those kids to the best of her ability? Heroic stuff.
Some would argue that Miss Honey suppressed a lot of her hurt and anger by focusing on protecting her students instead of getting as far away from her aunt as possible. Gabor Mate has a lecture that talks about how chronically nice and kind people who suppress their needs and their anger, who never take care of themselves in favor of helping others, often end up severely physically ill over time (i.e. cancer, heart disease, autoimmune disease, etc). I think she broke through some of that through her bond with Matilda. I sometimes imagine what struggles they went through once Matilda was adopted by Miss Honey... especially once Matilda became a teenager. I imagine they both still had a lot of healing and growth to do after the events of the movie. She is definitely a hero, but I question the motivation as to whether she was genuinely kind or if it was a coping mechanism for her trauma.
@@datheamore6395 I do think she was genuinely kind, especially having read the book first. In fact, her life would have been a lot easier and so probably far easier to heal from if she wasn't teaching, and thus helping children. In the book, Miss Honey is clearly destitute and she has to give Miss Trunchbull all but one pound a week of her salary (worth much more back then but you get the idea). Matilda points out that Miss Honey would be a lot better off if she were to stop teaching and draw unemployment money, and Miss Honey says "I would never do that. I love teaching." I think that there is something to what you said about her kindness helping her, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. I think it helped her gain strength. I think that it's very brave of her to continue doing what she's passionate about (providing children with a good educational experience and kindness) despite it causing her further issues with the proximity of her abuser and leaving her in even worse conditions than she could otherwise be in.
@@datheamore6395so then being too nice isn’t healthy? Honestly being a woman it’s not only annoying but damaging for the expectation to be a Little Miss Perfect!
Well, as someone that is sortof...chronically kind, it just hurts me to see people in pain, whether that is my abuser/teacher or my neighbour, or anyone. If I see a face, wrinkled up in fear and pain, screaming, I will usually vomit. I know how it feels to be screaming in pain and fear, it'll bring me right back to that moment. I don't know, I don't want to cause that to people. And I try not to go too far over my boundaries, but I only defend myself if I'm pushed to the limit and I'm physically horribly attacked or something. @@datheamore6395
@@datheamore6395 she was genuinely kind, as she's the one who said to Matilda "you were born in a family that doesn't always appreciate you, but one day things are going to be very different" being a teacher and helping kids is what helped her to cope with her own trauma and she was able to process some of the hurt and anger through Matilda's revenge, but she also had innate kindness and empathy that was genuine
I really liked that the movie was filmed from a child perspective. Trunchbull looming over the camera and the viewer, while Miss Honey bent down to be at eyes level. Also, I loved that the 90's version didn't shy back from showing the nasty and cruel stuff while still making it hilarious because you knew Trunchbull will get the payback she deserved.
@@officialmonarchmusic I think Nekokaitou4027 is a bit confused. The book came out in 1988, so this movie would have been made in the '90s. But there is a musical version that got out in 2011, which is closer to the book in some ways, but adds other stuff too. If you look it out, beware of the "Revolting Children" song, it's a total ear-worm (and a great fight song). 🎵😁
I love how you address that standing up for yourself can mean putting yourself and others in danger (physically, emotionally, financially, etc). This is what people who say "Well why didn't they come forward sooner about their abuse?" refuse to understand.
I had to make a report at work,. and they just kept asking why I didn't come in sooner. I just said I was scared. They still kept asking. Even the woman manager. I'm still scared of repercussions, but my fear of my friend, my coworker, getting hurt scared me more.
Exactly, sometimes coming forward can make the situation worse, so it can sometimes be better to hold off just to make things not get worse than they already are.
@@oakenshadow6763 Sometimes it's even harder to come forward after time has passed than it is to stand up for yourself right away, and this is one of the huge reasons why. I'm really proud of you, that takes a lot of courage. I hope you are doing well.
And somtimes they do stand up or themselves, but no one believes them and if you don't look like a poster child of abuse, people are less likely to believe you. This happened to me, bullying (or maybe we should rename it, "abuse") and I didn't look like your typical meek victim coupled that with my abusers spreading word I did something bad to them first.
I do love how Danny DiVito, outside of his character was in fact a decent role model for the actress that played Matilda while her mother was in the Hospital
He really went above and beyond for her and her family. He treated mara like one of own kids and looked out for her while filming. Mara’s mother died before the film was released, but he was able to bring in one of the unfinished versions into her hospital room so she could see her daughter’s big film before she passed. He didn’t even tell anyone he did it till years later. He really is a gem of a person
I alway cry at the story that he helpt the actres of Matilda's mom see the movie before it was out (she died just before the movie got into theater) and him and his wife (who played Matilda's mom) were a second family to her
@@annika3265 The treatment of the child actors for holes was pretty good i think. where they essentially made an exact recreation of the book with the exception of the significant weight loss that happens in the book
Growing up as a young autistic girl who routinely had her talents and capabilities discredited, challenged, or misinterpreted due to the selfish and defensive environment around her-- I loved this movie as a child. It takes great courage to recognize your own strengths and reaffirm that you are worthy of proper care and attention, especially when you are being told otherwise, especially as a child. I think the movie did a fantastic job of capturing how Matilda's self-validation is truly her biggest superpower, and seeing her 'powers' grow as a physical manifestation of her confidence made 8 year old me feel powerful, myself. Thank you guys for covering this movie, I love your additions/insights into the psychology and filming style, keep it up please 🎀
@@fsociety.dat101 I think it's quite a widespread bit of misinformation that you must have some sort of specific "talent" or skill to be the 'right kind' of autistic, at least to me. This seems to be another ableist notion to try and "justify" the inclusion of autistic people in society ("I suppose we could use Matthews skill at math to help our company, let's hire him") However, as we see with Matilda, it's not her math capabilities or linguistic skills that give her power, it's her understanding that no other person gets to decide if she's good at these things or not. She would be considered a super genius compared to her family, yet they saw her as inept, odd, and unintelligent for not liking what they liked and speaking how they spoke. I think the message there is that other people's interpretation of your abilities are not indicative of your worth-- your own is, and doing things for your own enjoyment or self fulfilment is more important than fitting in. I think especially when fitting in means compromising your own morals or undermining your capabilities for the sake of others (miss trunchbull, Matilda's dad)
@@fsociety.dat101 I'm also autistic (actually found that out after my 30s and only recently diagnosed), what I am good at has never made up for the skills I lack in life, it just isolated me more because others would resent me for having abilities they didn't, while being so strange to them that their survival instincts to push weird people far away kicked in. I admit that what I am good at entertained me at least. Nowadays, what helps me in life are my natural autistic brain abilities which I'm sure you have too, like attention to details or integrity. It's not stellar expertise at anything. It allows me to have a job so I can support myself and survive because I don't have any external support or income. It is still hard as hell to maintain this life, everyday, and I'm still very unskilled in anything social, I don't make connections with people and I have one friend. But I'm sure you can find what your brain does naturally that can give you a little boost and get a better life.
I found out that during filming Mara's mother was having cancer treatment, so Danny DeVito comforted mara through filming and before her mother passed he showed her the final edit of the film in the hospital so she could see Mara's performance. Danny DeVito is awesome for that.
As an educator I try my best to channel her at work, some days my patience gets put to the test lol. But I’m always saying to myself “what would miss honey do”
I don't think that there is a quote that sends me on a sobbing spree as much as the "you've been born into a family that doesn't always appreciate you..." one. As a closeted ftm kid who's trying to unlearn all the hatred that mainly his brother pumped into him from a young age, it just punches me into the gut everytime.
I’m a fellow trans guy and while im incredibly lucky enough to have supportive parents, the bit that Got Me in this vid was jonno’s speech at the end about how quiet internal resistance for safety is just as valid as vocal external resistance. In a world where violently transphobic rhetoric is on the rise, i take some small comfort in knowing myself to be true. theyre wrong about me. And nothing can change that. nothing can take that from me
Brother, you say? Yep, when I see Matilda's brother throwing things at her and when I hear Miss Honey tell her about her family that does not appreciate her, I always feel really bad. I always cry a lot everytime I watch this movie. In few words, kinda know what it means.
Despite playing abusive parents in the movie, Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman took care of Mara Wilson while her mom was being treated for cancer. It does change how I watch the movie, but it's so wholesome that I really don't mind at all. ❤
It so often happens that they cast the sweetest people as villains in movies, like Rachel McAdams and Tom Hiddleston. They're both wonderful off screen and Danny DeVito is no exception.
@@VampiraVonGhoulscoutSo true! More often than not I have come to find that most actors who have played awful villains or done villain personas are your heroes. Sweet people with caring hearts.
@@WhatsaModderU Alan Rickman is another prime example of that. "That unmistakable double-bass", as Daniel Radcliffe called it, often led him to be cast in roles that were, at the very least, mysterious, if not downright scary. Off-screen, however, I've never heard a negative description of that man. Not one. He had a "you don't know whether to kiss or kill" type of humor, and he reached out to those in need, precisely in the way they needed it. Devon Murray (Seamus Finnegan) and Matthew Lewis (Neville Longbottom) have talked about the valuable life and career advice he gave them, while having tea in his trailer. One day, a group of sick kids were invited to the set of "Prisoner of Azkaban", and Alan asked that a particular terminally-ill boy be given a small role. On another occasion, he asked that Tom Felton (Draco Malfoy) be given a more comfortable chair to rest in on the set, because he could tell that the one the boy initially had was causing pain. (2/22/2024)
Matilda is the only character in film I've ever related to and identified with. My favorite line of all time is "Because she's a spectacularly wonderful child and I love her." As an autistic little girl who didn't fit in the world around her being raised by a mother addicted to drugs and gambling and a father who hustled and traded cars, all I wanted was to hear Miss Honey's loving, protective words from my own mother. I'm 31 now and still working through the trauma of feeling resented and forgotten in that home. I still watch Matilda to connect with my inner child.
I'm autistic too and I ended up like Miss Honey with a foster parent who was just like Miss Trunchbull and wouldn't let me go to college or even read math books.
I had a love hate relationship with this movie because it made me believe I could develop superpowers for one and that school was basically getting yeeted by teachers all day.
It was a love and hate relationship because my mom said there was no message in this film! But when I read the original book, I could see what this film did right and what they changed obviously!
I turned my trauma into unwavering commitment and righteous anger. I cannot be bought, my morals do not bend, and I will defend what I believe in on behalf of the people who can't. And I've clawed my way up to the point where I can afford to be that person for others.
To this day, this movie taught me the greatest lesson in motherhood: being able to honestly admit when you're not a good fit. Mrs. Wormwood acknowledges that not only does she not know her little girl, she never will because of her own vices. Instead, she does what's best for her daughter and asks "Who's gotta pen?" and, like the movie says, does the first & ironically last right thing they'd ever do for Matilda: give her a better life than they ever could. I will forever praise this movie. I dare say its better than the book in some places and LEAGUES better than that musical. Just...just *why??*
Yes! I absolutely LOVED how Zinnia Wormwood had that moment at the end! When she waved goodbye, I think that was the only time she smiled at Matilda. It's so slight but so impactful!
I only saw bits and pieces of the Netflix musical and truly didn't like what I saw. However, I saw a video of it on Broadway and LOVED it. It's now one of my favorite musicals and I even like it much more than the movie. Try that, you may be surprised
@estherhinds6314 I have seen them. Both. I swear Dahl is rolling in his grave. Again, the movie's conclusion is the definitive one, IMHO. The songs are fun, sure, but they take away from the deeper themes/points of the plot. I'm just tired of studios taking an existing work, slapping another medium on it & trying to pass it off as something new. Please understand that this is not an attack on you. These are my feelings on a movie & book that helped me survive a family on par, if not worse, than Matilda's. I want stories like these told, I don't care what medium, but FFS, Hollywood, stop being this lazy & come up with an original concept, please. IJS.
I'm sorry you had such a tough experience. I thought the songs added great emotional depth to the story. Tim Minchin is a master lyricist . This one probably hits the hardest ua-cam.com/video/Qm5Ta8EBuTk/v-deo.html .
I am 59 and as I child I lived with the motto “One day I’ll be in charge and things will be different.” And they are. I hated my childhood, yet I am grateful that it gave me the perspective to make a beautiful life for myself. ❤
A theory I have is that Lucy Doll is the representation of the lost inner child and after Matilda rescues her Mrs Honey now has the full confidence to stand up to her Aunt, because she is a full person now that can protect herself and others with the awareness of a true Adult.
as a kid growing up in an abusive neglectful home with undiagnosed autism and an affinity for books in my infinite alone time, Matilda was a movie i was obsessed with but was also the only movie i was ever truly unnerved by as a child bc i hated the idea of projecting yourself onto the main character of stories, i never found it desirable to see myself in these fantastical adventures bc i didnt like myself and i loved stories bc they were an escape away from myself and my reality. So to see something so SCARILY accurate to my own life to the point even back then at such a young age i could subconsciously tell it was literally like looking in a mirror, Matilda made me feel a way no other story ever has. And as an adult i love it all the more for all those reasons. It is such a universal experience for so many people while also being such a magical fun story like it just does everything right and is a masterpiece. One of my favorite movies of all time and the recent musical remake imo didnt even scratch the surface of what the original film captured despite following the book more closely
24:50 "Sometimes, if you're trying to survive, standing up means...A person tells you you're worthless. And in your mind and heart you say, 'That's not true.'" Sometimes, "that" person you've to stand up to is your inner critic. I honestly believe that before we could stand up to others, we must stand up to ourselves first.
Crying, screaming, begging on my hands and knees for an episode about the princess bride specifically on Inigo Montoya and his revenge ark because as much as Jono talks about revenge being not good or healthy, that is the only character I’ve ever seen that got what they wanted, and immediately starts to heal afterward
YES! Especially since, if I’m not mistaken, Mandy Patikan had recently gone through some personal loss in his life. I think his father had passed from cancer. Adds a lot of power to the “I want my father back” line if you look at it as that line coming from the actor as well as the character
As much as I want a Princess Bride episode, I respectfully disagree that Inigo started to heal afterwards. Afterwards, he is lost. He has no idea who he is without the drive of revenge.
@@julietardos5044 but he is offered a job, he has made supportive friends through his trials, and so he has both something to build a life with, and a friend network to talk to. Plus, he realises he's lost in the woods, so to speak, having been so consumed by his revenge plan. That's a much bigger step towards healing himself than you realise.
And yet he did not play around like a cat with a mouse, his revenge was more rational. I don't know, I don't have any trouble watching his revenge, he did not torment, laugh or torture, it was not done for sheer pleasure of seeing the man struggle and be weakened. He simply couldn't live with this man being alive. I don't know, I understand Inigo a lot there.
Matilda was as a kid, and still is now, my favorite movie of all time. I'm thrilled to see a Cinema Therapy about it that does such an excellent film justice :)
As a person that grew up in an emotionally abusive family and managed to get out of there and doing the hard work to get through the pain and heal, this video feels like a warm hug from you guys.
I suffer a lot of internal anger issues, but one day, I learned about Beethoven, and how he channeled his own anger into his music. That inspired me to do the same with my writing. Now I have a book in the editing process. Finding a productive outlet for internal struggles is a great way to not only vent, but also potentially come up with something that can inspire others and set yourself up for a better life. Thanks for this video, I loved this film as a child and still enjoy to this day.
That's what I always tell my friends... Anger isn't the problem, it's an emotion like the others God made us with, it's how we react to it, where we center it and how we use it.
I remember my acting teacher saying that Matilda is a film that mainly kids can relate to since it is about the imbalanced power dynamics that children often face in adults. While I understand this statement, I feel it's unrealistic to say that 'only' kids can relate here. This movie means a lot to me and I think anyone who has felt like the underdog growing up can appreciate the film's message. Matilda is still a very fun and enjoyable movie.
yeah and every adult was once a child. as an adult i value this movie even more bc i can look at what it meant for me as a kid but also how much it meant to me as a kid in ways kid me didnt even fully understand at the time. abused kids grow up into adults who still remember that abuse, those stories still mean something even after theyve grown
I think back to when I was in high school. I pissed a normal bully of mine off and then they finally told me they wanted to beat me down. I just rolled my eyes (wasn't my first time dealing with this along with living in a home with a physically abusive Step-father) and asked them where and when. Knowing full well I was going to get beat in the fight. They gave me a time and date. I showed up and as predicted they beat me down in front of all their 'friends'. All I could do was laughing the entire time while they were kicking me on the ground. They finally got done with me and started walking off. I stood up, dusted the snow off me and then straight to their face as they turned to look back at their 'handiwork' I asked with a smirk on my face, 'You feel better now?' They scowled at me so hard. The twist of it was though, the following Monday I showed up to school, every thought I would hide away, but I went on as normal, some lumps and bumps and bruises. But what was the most mind blowing thing was that I had HIS 'friends' coming up to me looking at me and then telling me I did good. Some even thanked me for doing it. It made me think. Here I got my butt kicked, but I had people thanking me and telling me I was brave for doing it. It just clicked with me how deep this kid's level of control he had over his 'friends' and to think that I helped them see, even when losing, that they could stand up to him and not take his crap. That was worth more then gold that day. I never was messed with by really anyone since that point in school and in the end it was a weird way to a win. Coming from a abusive childhood home... it sometimes is hard, I do have PTSD from that time in my life, but life does go on. We live, we learn, we adapt, and then we grow. So if you're stuck in those situations in your life right now. Just hold onto that thread that it can get better. Keeping looking out for you. Be smart. And be safe.
I had something similar happen. New year in middle school (the WORST three years of my life), and some kid I'd never seen before decided I was going to be his punching bag. Funny thing is, I don't even remember now what he did to me that bothered me, just that it was pretty consistent. One day, we had a fire drill, and as we were coming back in, again he did. . . something. I think pushed me from behind. I do remember, clear as day, finally feeling fed up, turning around, and firing a kick at him. No power, glanced off his thigh, but I just stood there, staring him down, thinking REAL hard "Let's just get this over with, you want me, come and get me." He eventually walked around me back into the building, I went back in with everyone else. He never bothered me again. Perhaps not the ideal way to deal with bullies, but I feel it falls in line with two very important pieces of advice from one of my personal heroes, Captain John Sheridan: "Never start a fight, but always finish it," and "All you have to do is say 'no I won't' one more time than they can say 'yes you will.'"
Recommendations (if possible) - Hero psychology of Gwen Stacy: Across the Spiderverse - Character psychology of Marie: Unbelievable (8 episode miniseries) - The Iron Giant - Psychology of an antihero of Joel: HBO The Last of Us (possible Troy Baker guest star) - The Nanny McPhee movies - Nimona - Dreamworks Abominable - Over the Moon - Psychology of a Villain: Snow from Hunger Games (both prequel & original trilogy) - As They Made Us (w/ Mayim Bialik guest star)
Matilda was my favorite movie as a little girl because I found escapism in books too. I wasn't in an abusive household but my mom was a single parent. A lot of the times I had to entertain myself to make things easier on her. Especially Ronald Dahl books who was one of my favorites. Authors were my friends when I wasn't at school.
I have a lot of trauma. I have bipolar disorder which led me to heavy drug addiction and homelessness. I lost custody of my kids. Today, I am stable, 5 years sober, housed, and my children are back in my life. I'm also in school. My superpower is my tenacity. I also share my voice in my experiences because I think people need to hear about hope lost and found again. We do recover.
As a child who grew up in a household where I was mocked and bullied by my family for having ADHD, I related so much to being mistreated just for being “different”. Being called stupid and slow for something I had no control over , treated like I’m a burden for my struggles in school (yet my mother wonders why I have such low self esteem now). Even though my adhd didn’t make me extraordinary it felt oddly comforting that it does get better. And I’m lucky that it did. This movie will always be my comfort feel good movie 😊
@@mariannehavisham8323 I think the point is this film gives hope and strength to those who are constantly put down. Yes, unfortunately, for some, it doesn't get better, but for many people it can, if they have the courage and will, like Matilda.
@coralmaynard4876 I feel like this just shames people who don't get better, implies it's a lack of courage or will, which is more then problematic and unhelpful and judgemental.. I know offering hope is important and I know things get better for many.. it is also important to remember and bear in mind that things don't get better for everyone, for some they get much much worse, and that doesn't indicate a lack of 'courage' or 'will'
@@mariannehavisham8323 that's not what I was saying, I did acknowledge it doesn't get better for everyone, I was saying this film gives hope to people to at least try
I'm an older brother and cousin, and when I see the scenes of her brother treating her like that, it makes me rage. Older siblings are, in some capacity, an extension of the parents, so when they are sh*theads that tell me a lot of things. The scenes where she cries tears me up because when I hear or see my siblings cry, I try to comfort them or try to cheer them up.
I'm convinced that a lot of teenage boys have tremendous... more or less parenting skills. Skills in caring for younger kids. And it saddens (and sometimes infuriates) me that this reality is seldom shown in movies, shows, books. I think we'd all be in a better world if it were shown more, that boys got to see not only is it okay to be caring, it's really terrific to be caring.
@katharinewiley8850 anecdotes aren't really great evidence, but my husband and I have been together since we were 17 and I knew back then that he'd be a good dad. He was so instinctively good and nurturing with kids. Way better than I was.
Maltilda in all three iterations, is one of the most effective stories about neglect in literature and media. I gonna have to paraphrase here because finding the proper quote would take me a day, but from Call the Midwife. "Ah, you think you have seen all forms of poverty, Sister. There are many and one of the most difficult is poverty of love." I'm gonna need to go on an IMDB hunt for the proper thing the priest says *Edit* to Jonno's question. My early life experiences were very scary for a little girl. But learning to heal and embrace self understanding, means that I have gained strength to help others.
That's an interesting quote given Miss Honey's situation in the book. Miss Honey deals with extreme financial poverty in the book, but the poverty of love that she experienced cut deeper. Matilda understood that having dealt with it herself, and she and Miss Honey are brought closer together due to their true understanding of each other's problems. The book takes care to show different sides of difficult topics, particularly abuse and poverty, and your comment made me think about those themes a little differently.
@@estherhinds6314You are bang on it Esther and that's why I love all three versions. For me, Matilda and Danny Champion of the World (my actual favourite bar his work for adults like Skin and other stories) are his best works. They get into the realities of poverty and how people take care of each other and how they hurt each other. Michin's Maltilda from the musical has even more active agency and outspoken resilience. DeVito's and thus Wilson's feels like the most realistic to how that feels being a child. They are all great. I love Matilda. I was scared of the film as a child because Pam Ferris is always top tier but I grew with it. I think it's important reading for 10+ year olds. Also if you ever are able to find it, Call the Midwife is great! The first four seasons are closely tied to the book they are based on. The stories are truly experiences of what post war British healthcare was like and damn it's harrowing but once again, full of people being good to each other. Bless those brave nurses, doctors and nuns for saving so many lives.
Lots of people learn superficial love too. Lollies, treats, getting what you want, when you want it and, later, alcohol and drugs etc. People get used the idea of fake love and then struggle to authentically love in ways that really meet the emotional needs of those around them.
to everyone who is currently in a tough home, believe me when i say it gets so much better. I also came from a bad home, one full of neglect and abuse but now I'm an adult and this is the happiest I've ever been. remember to be kind but mostly to yourself and remember that your going to be okay, it's going to be a little hard but the time will pass anyways. I was once like you, young and scared and so tired but now I'm cozy in bed sitting near a window
This is a lie though. It might have gotten better for you. For many it won't. They will end their lives, get married and/or trapped with an abuser. They might never be allowed to get independence due to financial abuse from your parents. Abuse and neglect doesn't end as soon as you turn 18. Infant as soon as your an adult which is when alot of people realise they've been abused their whole lives and arnt just useless there's alot less help.
@@chloereed2434 you know I used to think this way too when I was much younger. Always combating whatever positive thing I could think of against real life atrocities for the fact that it indeed does happen to some people. And maybe it’ll happen to me, maybe it’ll happen to you too. No one will know, but what I do know is that it’s not my job to live through someone else’s potential life. Rather, my job now is to use what I got and try to keep pushing forward. And maybe along the way it’ll inspire those whose life you mentioned see that there is an example of getting out of it all alive. And I hope that whatever compelled you to comment, I wish for things to get better. You deserve better. And you do too. I wish you luck friend
20:59 something that is a very real phenomenon is that when you are surrounded by abuse, but a couple of people are not really _abusive,_ they give off the appearance that they are being really nice to you when in reality they are actually just giving you the bare minimum respect a human being deserves that you are not getting elsewhere in your life. this is not the only time this "getting burned" thing happens, but i think this can definitely be one of the ways it happens.
I have depended on Matilda and other Roald Dahl stories for years, having grown up in an emotionally abusive home and now learning how to heal now that I'm removed for the most part. One reason why I love this movie is that it became a crutch to me when I needed it for so many years (among others). Another reason is because Miss Honey was one of the people who helped me realize I wanted to be a kindergarten teacher, leading up to me now going to school for Elementary and Early Childhood education.
Matilda and Harry Potter resonate so much with me of as a kid being stuck in abusive homes, them still keeping their empathy and compassion, standing up for themselves and others, finding friendships and hope things will get better
As someone, who experienced trauma from a young age, the thing that my therapist and I have concluded that my empathy and emotional intelligence are my strengths, born from trauma. My reaction to neglect and abuse was to learn more about how it has impacted me, so I can help understand the impact trauma has on others. I extend this to my friends and family, who have gone through traumatic events and to those who just want a listening ear. I am not thankful for my trauma, but I am thankful for how I took control of it
Being a 24 year old woman who is currently trying to stand up to her abusive, toxic family, my favorite channel letting me know I can get through it and you don't have to be close to them is very encouraging. ❤
I grew up in an emotionally abusive home and I would read stories to escape. Once I figured out that I could write decently, I began to write my stress away. Music helped out. I found my tribe after I got out and a little bit of light bathed my darkness. I also made sure to nice to people so they didn't feel the way I felt. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
The scenes where the adults are being awful have always been hard for me to watch. But this has always been an inspiring story for me. My childhood trauma never triggered a gift of telekinesis, but I choose to be the supportive, encouraging, LISTENING adult that I believe every youngling deserves. It makes me a better parent, a better friend, and a good friend to a wider age range of amazing people! Keep up the good work, gentlemen!
Matilda is one of my lifetime favorite movies. It was made the year I was born, and okay so what if this is cheesy, but this movie was literally made for me. I was a middle child of five, and was so neglected, ignored, abused and unwanted at home and at school, but my teachers and the library were my safe places. Books were my friends. I often wished I could have developed powers from my trauma, but that's not the point. Despite the cruel world she was so young to have experienced, she remained true to herself, strong, and imaginative. I am Matilda, she is me.
As someone who had to take care of themselves like Matilda due to parental neglect (emotional, physical, and mental) being your own friend is what really saved me. I always told myself at the end of the day “at least I have myself” from a young age I was able to criticize my flaws but not punish myself for having them because I was always a sweet person and I saw the positive qualities that I had that my adult counterparts didn’t. I became VERY mature for my age and to this day I spend a lot of quality time alone (self chosen obviously) but I still thrive in social situations. I’m a social chameleon. So for any other Matilda’s out there, you’re stronger than you think and it DOES get better!
One of my favorite things about this movie actually happened behind the scenes! Pardon the long post: Mara Wilson's mother had cancer & was frequenting many hospital trips. Danny DeVito & his wife would take care of Wilson while her mother was in the hospital or recovering. Tragically, Wilson's mother's condition worsened & wouldn't live long enough to see her daughter in the movie. DeVito then showed Wilson's mother an early cut of the film before she passed so she could see her daughter in a movie. The mother passed before the movie & the movie is dedicated in her memory.
So glad you reviewed Matilda. It’s a fave of mine. Yes, folks who come from homes where they’re not loved or frequently sidelined develop self love skills earlier. But they can also become anxious adults, when they have spent their whole growing years fighting for a sense of self-worth, when it doesn’t become a fight anymore, you think something’s wrong, like healthy relationships, friendships, or workplaces. Therapy helps. And learning to trust yourself all over again too. What I love about Matilda is how she does this, a d how she exposes herself to other worlds (through books) and makes friends so she realizes her home is not the world. I read somewhere that Matilda gradually loses her powers when she feels safer. And to me, that’s an allegory of losing the need for revenge.
Its great that the episode sets to offer help to those, as Jono put, "In the thick of it (abuse)". It seems lots of therapy and other similar psychological advice offered readily available online is generally geared towards the post-trauma life. Not always obviously. Regardless, this is wonderful for those in need.
Matilda was a really huge comfort movie for me growing up, and still is much of a comfort movie for me today. I sympathized so much with Matilda and what she went through with living in an abusive family, and how she continued to be kind despite what she was going through both at home and school and the comfort she found in reading as an escape.
10:36 It’s David Newman, the most underrated and overlooked of the Newman composers in my opinion. He regularly collaborates with Danny DeVito when Danny directs i.e. David is the Danny Elfman to DeVito’s Tim Burton.
it broke my heart to hear about people reaching out to you because theyre in abusive situation. i hope the message in this episode helps them, especially the kids and teens like matilda
it's funny to see it as Trunchball missing something that she never got as a kid (support and encouragement) as a reason to mess with others that remind her of that emptiness inside
Most people that are adult bullies never got the healing or encouragement or support they deserved as a kid. Does it excuse their behavior? No. But it does put into perspective why a lot of people are cruel. Only a pure sense of love and support from someone (including oneself) could ever lead to someone never being cruel to another being.
@@HouseMDaddict I do think love and support definitely makes a difference in having a sense of security and resilience growing up. I mean Miss Trunchbull's abusive and neglectful behavior was about taking that security away from others since she never received it herself. Matilda showed amazing resiliency against her but not all children may fare as well in such situations. However love makes a difference
@@kyrancroftilich5269 it's a lot of why some parents are horrible parents too. They don't "know any better" but they also don't take parenting classes or go to therapy or do anything to remedy it. Every kid deserves a happy, stable home, but they're often being raised by adults still in "emotional childhood" (condition where adults emotionally never grow out of childhood due to trauma/neglect, and have never sought to fix it) .
I had a simialr childhood to Matilda, and was a avid reader as well, I eventually developed maladaptive daydreaming so a lot of my life I've disassociated for most of it. I suppose my own 'super power' is channeling the creativety into writing so I can write down the stories that are always in my head
I didn't have Matilda's childhood but still a difficult one and I relate to your experience with writing and creativity another "superpower" I have is embathy especailly when it comes to children.
Mathilda is a beautiful tale about education too. I see it as Cinderella but instead if a Prince Charming there is a Teacher and books and knowledge. As a teacher I find this so inspiring and motivating !
Awesome vid, as always. Danny DeVito & Rhea Pearlman were a big support for Mara while her mother passed away from cancer durian the filming of Matilda. I highly recommend Mara’s autobiography.
I do want to push back a little on something. There is a difference between Kind and Nice. Kindness can seem cruel at the time, but it is done with the individual's best interests at heart. You can be Nice and Kind at the same time. However, Nice can be used as a tool to get close to someone in order to do harm. The reason Nice is so commonly associated with Kindness, is because often what people need is pleasant and agreeable to listen or assist them. Basically, Nice is a tool to either be Kind or Evil, but Kindness is what is right for the person the act goes toward, even if the act itself is not a pleasant one.
I can relate to Matilda. My parents were loving and supportive. I was bullied to point of going deep into depression and struggling to not give in to thoughts of self destruction. Some of my bullying came from facility members. With that, I struggle with self love and self worth. It took my parents moving my sisters and I to a different town for all of us to heal.
Love you guys appreciating the catharsis of revenge in media, but also acknowledging how destructive it is in reality for the person seeking revenge and how that's different from justice.
I felt read but also some hope for myself when Ms. Honey says, "You were born into a family that doesn't always appreciate you. But one day, things are going to be different." Shout out to Ms. Honey for sure; she is a beautiful role model for Matilda and for children who watch this film (past & present).
This movie hit extremely hard for me. Granted, I'm guy, always have been, but bullying and intimidation for my ADHD was VERY common. It felt like no one understood me. Yet, when I hung out with the other "disobedient" kid, he was kind and compassionate to me. Never underestimate the power of making friends.
I would never consider my childhood to be abusive in any way, but all these years later this movie makes me an emotional train-wreck. There's a struggle of feeling lonely even when you're surrounded by people that say they care. In reality there's never any action taken to show that to be true. I definitely had to learn to love who I was way earlier in life because of this feeling. This was a good reminder of why I loved this film so much as a kid and why it still holds up now.
There’s two fictional characters I relate to the most. 1 of those two is Matilda. It sucks being intelligent yet still big hearted among a world that values neither of those traits. I also love that the book, movie and musical all focus on different aspects of the same story and they’re all important 💓
I agree with that. The book focuses more on things like the financial issues Miss Honey has to deal with and theories as to how Matilda gets her powers, the 90's movie focuses more on the story of the kid escaping the abusive family to live with an adult who's also got free of her abuser, and the musical focuses more on the symbolic aspect of living in abusive dynamics (though I will point out that one of the happier songs in the musical does have some hidden dark implications that, from the way they set up the choreography for that one, aren't an accident - as in, those hidden dark implications are actually supposed to be there).
Matilda got me through being a child in an abusive home and bullied at school. No matter how mean anyone was i was always kind. Still am to this day because you never knwo whay someone truely goes through. Share kindness and compassion every day and make the world a better place. ❤
I love how Danny directed this movie. The camera is almost always at the children's pov, he's got a great sense of flow specially in that scene where Matilda and miss honey are at the house with miss trunchbull. When Matilda is haunting ms trunchbull the camera angle is up to down as if you're a ghost haunting here, it shows how small she is in fact a scaredy superstitious woman.
When I was in elementary school, the middle school (which didn't have it's own building but shared the high school and elementary school) had a principal that we literally called "The Trunchbull" because of this movie. She was a mean old biddy that still believed in corporal punishment which actually included making kids stand in an old metal cabinet she locked. She actually forgot a kid in there once, when cops found him he had blood clots in his legs and was very dehydrated. The real kicker is she eas just demoted to vice principal after that.
Man this might be one of my favorite episodes. I didn’t grow up in an abusive household (although I was spanked but the way it was done, I didn’t consider that abusive), but for some reason I connected with Matilda SO much as a child. It’s such a nostalgic film for me.
After listening to Matilda by Harry Styles my entire perspective on that movies changed. It was the before - where I am a little girl enjoying a joyful story that seemed kinda off, but not enough to become concerning. And then after - where I am an adult with some traumas and baggage that comes from this little girl being undervalued, misunderstood and treated in a ways that were unintentionally harming. And the lines “you can let it go you can throw a party full of everyone you know you can start a family who will always show you love you don’t have to be sorry for doing it on your own” somehow broke me and healed me simultaneously. Thank you for binging this up ❤
I had an incredibly loved and supported childhood and didn't need to learn self love until I was in college and came out to my family and was disowned. Made college a hell of a lot harder, but made me a hell of a lot stronger. Now I have chosen family. Blood means nothing.
I used to think my superpower was that nothing could emotionally hurt me. I’m only now realizing that dissociation has downsides. Without pain there can be no joy. Dissociation also makes it really hard to empathize with people, which in turn makes it really hard to make friends.
I'm a film buff and MFT student who recently discovered your channel. I love it:) You made a great point about children feeling like Matilda. I remember reading the book as a kid and wishing that I could have that kind of power o er adults
this movie hits harder now that im out of my own toxic household. i keep having dreams about it. i keep wanting to go back. music helped a lot. having a friend who as she dropped me off saw the change in my demeanor helped a lot. having a musical artist say "yes this song includes you. i do indeed have the same scars. and you need to leave now you will never leave." all of those things helped. yes i miss them and the financial stability but if i had stayed it would have been the end of me.
I adored this movie as a kid because of the magic. Now, I appreciate it because of how honest the depiction of the parents and trunchbull was of their horrific behavior.
I've seen both Matilda and The Prisoner of Azkaban countless times. I'm usually really good at recognizing actors from other works. And somehow I never once realized that Trunchbull and Aunt Marge were played by the same person. It makes so much sense, and yet you blew my mind with this little piece of information. Pam Ferris did a perfect job as both women!
My school did the musical, and I got to play Miss Honey! It was my favorite role, I loved how kind she was, even through her hard times. I loved the movie musical too, all the creativity and acting(especially Emma Thompson as the Trunchbull) was amazing!!!
I grew up with this movie on VHS and it will always be dear to my heart. Matilda inspires me to be a positive spirit, kind to others and to be a friend to myself. But mostly to not tolerate being in abusive relationships and being around toxic people. This was awesome side content to watch while I draw and I'm going to keep watching more ! Keep it up guys
I learned interesting lessons about standing up for myself while growing up with a narcissistic mother... First I learned to understand the power that I had and not be afraid. Then I learned the rules of her games. I learned later to stand up again and again until I had the strength to do it even when I got put down hard. But really the best lesson I learned was to not allow the rage to consume me. I learned that it's more powerful to disengage and not give her the satisfaction of getting a reaction out of me. I shed the weight of her opinions and walked away from the relationship. I think anger is a powerful, helpful emotion but you have to be calm enough to not allow other's to control your actions with it.
My favourite Halloween costume as a kid was Matilda. No one knew who I was but BOY did I love explaining!! As an adult I have almost 1,000 books and have no intention of stopping. Movies can shape lives ❤
Oh my gosh thank you for doing this movie!! This was one of my favorites growing up! I love how you guys see movies, too. You guys point out things that I never would have thought of before. Keep doing what you’re doing 👏👏👏
I was one of the kids from a difficult situation. Like Matilda, my escape was books. My teachers discovered I was "good at learning" or "academically gifted" or whatever. I got into a specialized program that allowed me to excel even more. When I got to middle school, I started joining as many extracurriculars as I could. Even if I wasn't good at it, I worked hard so be a part of something. I was just desperate to not have to stay at home all the time. My superpower was knowledge. It worked. I got college scholarships and got out of that difficult place in my life. In college, I learned how to make friends and figured out who I was. Now, I'm a high school teacher in a low-income community. A lot of my students have struggles like I did. I encourage them to make different choices than their parents have made: "You don't have to do drugs just because your mom does. You don't have to get drunk just because your uncles all do. You don't have to be a parent before you're ready just because your parents were teens when you were born. You don't have to drop out of high school. You don't have to resort to crime and get incarcerated. You have the power to make different choices. Better choices."
Matilda is one of my fav movies as someone with a similar history as Matilda. I just dived into mathematics instead of literature. Now I'm finishing my degree in pure mathematics!!!❤❤❤ Really helped me not only escape but find a community I can rely on, and goals to strive for in the most difficult times. I def gotta rewatch this film after this❤❤❤❤❤
Congrats on finishing your degree! I'm a school counselor mainly because I saw what having one positive adult amidst a sea of horrible adults and situations can do to someone (me). My mom was a very strong and loving individual in my life who always made sure I never "hated" or "got revenge" on people, but instead focused my energy into being kind and never making other people feel how I felt being treated poorly by my other parent and bullies. She is still to this day one of the wisest people I know and she was a person who grew up in an extremely abusive household, so she never wanted me to be in one (she divorced my abusive parent when I was starting high school and worked 4 jobs to support us). I was a camp counselor with at-risk kids at age 16, saw with my own eyes the power of a positive older person in these kids' lives and then pursued a master's in counseling which I've now been doing for over a decade.
I love how miss Honey approach her powers at the beginning when she didn't believe her but nonetheless supported her (something in the lines of you should believe in any kind of power you think you may have). I think that's wonderful and extremely beautiful
This video could not have been better timed for me. Set to have a difficult conversation with my manager at work this afternoon about how to set me up for the opportunities I want (difficult b/c I'm sensitive to the topic, not b/c of her). She's a very wonderful boss but I've been burnt by a lot of managers before her that were abusive/neglectful, most of them who did the "kind just to lure you in" thing you mentioned (20:27). The advice about needing to be open to kindness after you've been hurt before, it'll help me to have that on my mind during the conversation. Gonna try to accept influence from someone I know is trustworthy.🙂
I have always loved Ms. Honey's character and I think she is underappreciated Despite everything life threw and is still throwing at her at the beginning of the story, she is a sweet, kind and resilient women who has endured years of abuse and misstreatment and didn't never give up on her beliefs and core self. And she still cares. Throughout the film, she brings hope and love to those children (not only Matilda) . That's a superpower too. Truly kind people is not weak even if they are soft spoken
I have followed this channel for months now. Fell in love with the marvel and Disney movies even watched episodes where I haven't seen the movie. And yall finally do my FAVORITE childhood movie, and I've never been this early!! What a way to start a Tuesday morning 😁
I would tell myself “it gets better” for years to survive the constant neglect of my family. Now I’m on the other side and the truth is it *does* get better. But you have to be there to see it.
Go to dayoneapp.com/cinematherapy and use code cinematherapy to get a limited-time offer of a two-month FREE trial with Day One Journal Premium.
I really appreciate all of the work you both do. Thank you for providing me both with entertainment and a healthy dynamic.
Now do Death to Smoochy! 😆
Ahh I wish Pam Ferris was better known in America. The fun thing for Brit audiences is not only has she played some of the scariest villains on film.
She's also played some of the kindest heroes on TV. Darling Buds of May, Rose and Thyme, Call the Midwife.
She's better known for playing the kindly but no nonsense woman with the heart of gold in the UK. Which means watching her play a baddie is a quiet joy.
How about yuru camp.
It feels like a Miyazaki successor to me.
So much potential for discussion.
Hey, love your content, can you do Fantastic Mr Fox?
The more you watch Matilda, the more you realize it's a story about a girl escaping an abusive family rather than a girl with power.
I love that it’s not only Matilda, a child, but also Miss Honey, and adult. They both get free.
I also love how both Matilda and Miss Honey are framed as in the 100% right for leaving their abusers. I know this sounds minuscule but so many other stories try to make the victim the one in the wrong and paint the abuser(s) as the victims, being all “OH BUT THEY FAMIWY”
Escaping your abuser is the real super power.
@@10toFIREyup
Shame the film ruined it by her still having powers at rhe end.
What I love about Roald Dahl's stories is they give kids in horrible situations the opportunity to make things better, but without just magically fixing everything. Telekinesis alone doesn't solve Matilda's home life, the peach doesn't give James comfort and love, the golden ticket doesn't eliminate Charlie's family's poverty. Instead, the kids have to use those opportunities in the right way to make things better, and usually that involves some selflessness and loyalty to others. It's a great lesson in not relying on magic to make things better, but to use one's gifts to improve their experience and the experience of those they care for.
And the 80's movie, "Carrie," isn't a movie to idolize the idea of ki**ing those who have wronged you with telekinesis. Even if it sounds satisfying to you. Even if you do understand where she was coming from. Was it smart; I think it was human. Love that line.
@00AgentKrabie Hon its a horror movie.
@@CloverPandaQ sure, but the idea's the same if you think about it...
Carrie sought revenge with her powers and nothing good came of it in the end, what with everyone being dead. Matilda used her powers to help others, and had no outright intent to hurt anyone, not even Trunchbull... she managed to use her wit to scare her off instead, and found a way to earn everything she wanted.
*that being said,* getting into the nitty-gritty beyond that is an entirely different discussion... considering Carrie was much more savagely abused, whereas Matilda was mostly neglected.
Roald dahl either makes adults the worst human beings ever or the nicest, there is no in-between.
@@EE-Shepherd I mean... Most kids never really thought any further than that as well... Especially when the film originally debuted.
The fact that Danny DeVito played such a realistic abusive monster while being the polar opposite in real life shows why he is such a classic actor.
He's amazing! I don't think I've ever seen him in a movie and go like "meh". He nails it every single time.
He was apparently a "father figure" of sorts to Mara Wilson on the set as well and have her a lot of industry advice too. The polar opposite of his character of camera.
@@lukek5909 Wow, that's fantastic. Thanks for the information.
@lukek5909 yeah and it's sad because Mara Wilson's mother died of breast cancer on April 26, 1996 before the movie came out, so he technically took care of her with his wife, Rhea Perlman who also played Matilda's mom.
@imsomehowstillalive And Danny Devito showed her the unfinished product before she passed, so she got to see her daughter's performance.
"was that smart?" "i think it was human" is going to stay seared into my brain forever, i think my life just changed a little bit
I agree. It was profound.
Be careful when using it though. It's a popular saying in Dutch amongst simple people.
They'll make a horrible mistake, like cheating on their fiancee with the waitress and then yell; 'Well, I ám a human! Humans make mistakes!'
It goes; "Ik ben ook maar een mens." and it is usually spoken in a flat, Amsterdam accent by a gumchewing lady or tansprayed man giving the middle-finger.
@@Widdekuu91 It's a powerful phrase. And you know what they say about great power and great responsibility.
@@Widdekuu91hahahahah
Love her or hate her, there's no denying Matilda was a savage. I mean, she was really carrying around adoption papers ready to ditch her family at any given oportunity. 😂
Smart move! 😂
Sis had an EXIT plan
And I'm not mad at it😂
I dunno if that counts as savage, when her family was like that.😅🤔🙃🤷🤷♀️🤷🏻♂️
I wanted to run away from home at age 9 (Mom told me if I left not to come back... her bluff game was strong), and I remember seeing this movie a year or two after my failed attempt at running away, and I remember kicking myself for not thinking of getting adoption papers at the ready. This movie spoke to me so strongly. They never beat me, but they were a lot like Matilda's parents regarding their emotional baggage. It made me feel less alone.
"You where born in to a family that dosn´t always apreciate you, but one day things are going to be very diffrent". I remember the first time I heard that line as an 8 year old with an active stomach ulcer and suicidal ideation from severe stress/burn out and not feeling so alone anymore. Now thanks to a lot of self reflection, choosen family and a cat I´m 34 and in a better place, well atleast not 8 and puking blood anymore...
So now I found my calling in helping my granparents with doctors visits and paper work and stuff.
That is very inspirational. I’m so sorry you had to go through that especially at such a young age, but you turned out so beautifully in the end! You built yourself up and are stronger than you know. I’m so proud of you! I wish you all the best
Was it because of stress or were you just ill?
Nose bleeding, muscle cramps, etc... I feel you...
Miss Honey is one of my favorite characters of all time. She is a hero in her own right. To go through the things she has gone through and remain kind? To not completely crumble? To remain in the orbit of her abuser and help those kids to the best of her ability? Heroic stuff.
Some would argue that Miss Honey suppressed a lot of her hurt and anger by focusing on protecting her students instead of getting as far away from her aunt as possible. Gabor Mate has a lecture that talks about how chronically nice and kind people who suppress their needs and their anger, who never take care of themselves in favor of helping others, often end up severely physically ill over time (i.e. cancer, heart disease, autoimmune disease, etc). I think she broke through some of that through her bond with Matilda. I sometimes imagine what struggles they went through once Matilda was adopted by Miss Honey... especially once Matilda became a teenager. I imagine they both still had a lot of healing and growth to do after the events of the movie. She is definitely a hero, but I question the motivation as to whether she was genuinely kind or if it was a coping mechanism for her trauma.
@@datheamore6395 I do think she was genuinely kind, especially having read the book first. In fact, her life would have been a lot easier and so probably far easier to heal from if she wasn't teaching, and thus helping children. In the book, Miss Honey is clearly destitute and she has to give Miss Trunchbull all but one pound a week of her salary (worth much more back then but you get the idea). Matilda points out that Miss Honey would be a lot better off if she were to stop teaching and draw unemployment money, and Miss Honey says "I would never do that. I love teaching." I think that there is something to what you said about her kindness helping her, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. I think it helped her gain strength. I think that it's very brave of her to continue doing what she's passionate about (providing children with a good educational experience and kindness) despite it causing her further issues with the proximity of her abuser and leaving her in even worse conditions than she could otherwise be in.
@@datheamore6395so then being too nice isn’t healthy? Honestly being a woman it’s not only annoying but damaging for the expectation to be a Little Miss Perfect!
Well, as someone that is sortof...chronically kind, it just hurts me to see people in pain, whether that is my abuser/teacher or my neighbour, or anyone.
If I see a face, wrinkled up in fear and pain, screaming, I will usually vomit. I know how it feels to be screaming in pain and fear, it'll bring me right back to that moment.
I don't know, I don't want to cause that to people. And I try not to go too far over my boundaries, but I only defend myself if I'm pushed to the limit and I'm physically horribly attacked or something. @@datheamore6395
@@datheamore6395 she was genuinely kind, as she's the one who said to Matilda "you were born in a family that doesn't always appreciate you, but one day things are going to be very different"
being a teacher and helping kids is what helped her to cope with her own trauma and she was able to process some of the hurt and anger through Matilda's revenge, but she also had innate kindness and empathy that was genuine
I really liked that the movie was filmed from a child perspective. Trunchbull looming over the camera and the viewer, while Miss Honey bent down to be at eyes level. Also, I loved that the 90's version didn't shy back from showing the nasty and cruel stuff while still making it hilarious because you knew Trunchbull will get the payback she deserved.
What's "the nineties version"? Are there multiple versions?
@@officialmonarchmusic I think Nekokaitou4027 is a bit confused. The book came out in 1988, so this movie would have been made in the '90s. But there is a musical version that got out in 2011, which is closer to the book in some ways, but adds other stuff too. If you look it out, beware of the "Revolting Children" song, it's a total ear-worm (and a great fight song). 🎵😁
@@stereonacht2247they made another movie for the musical
@@CrowLady0_0 : I know: I own it. A friend introduced me to the Revoltin' children song, and it just stuck in my head, I had to get it. 😁
I love how you address that standing up for yourself can mean putting yourself and others in danger (physically, emotionally, financially, etc). This is what people who say "Well why didn't they come forward sooner about their abuse?" refuse to understand.
I had to make a report at work,. and they just kept asking why I didn't come in sooner. I just said I was scared. They still kept asking. Even the woman manager. I'm still scared of repercussions, but my fear of my friend, my coworker, getting hurt scared me more.
Exactly, sometimes coming forward can make the situation worse, so it can sometimes be better to hold off just to make things not get worse than they already are.
@@oakenshadow6763 Sometimes it's even harder to come forward after time has passed than it is to stand up for yourself right away, and this is one of the huge reasons why. I'm really proud of you, that takes a lot of courage. I hope you are doing well.
And somtimes they do stand up or themselves, but no one believes them and if you don't look like a poster child of abuse, people are less likely to believe you. This happened to me, bullying (or maybe we should rename it, "abuse") and I didn't look like your typical meek victim coupled that with my abusers spreading word I did something bad to them first.
This question always drives me crazy and people who ask it have zero empathy for people who are abused.
"If you can convince someone their house is haunted, you probably should" is, I think, the greatest thing any third best friend has ever said.
I do love how Danny DiVito, outside of his character was in fact a decent role model for the actress that played Matilda while her mother was in the Hospital
Great now I love his personality even more. I’m glad not all Hollywood is… creepy and weird
He really went above and beyond for her and her family. He treated mara like one of own kids and looked out for her while filming. Mara’s mother died before the film was released, but he was able to bring in one of the unfinished versions into her hospital room so she could see her daughter’s big film before she passed. He didn’t even tell anyone he did it till years later. He really is a gem of a person
I alway cry at the story that he helpt the actres of Matilda's mom see the movie before it was out (she died just before the movie got into theater) and him and his wife (who played Matilda's mom) were a second family to her
Danny Devito's treatment of Mara should be the standard of child star treatment in Hollywood but unfortunely Jenette McCurdy is the standard.
@@annika3265 The treatment of the child actors for holes was pretty good i think. where they essentially made an exact recreation of the book with the exception of the significant weight loss that happens in the book
Growing up as a young autistic girl who routinely had her talents and capabilities discredited, challenged, or misinterpreted due to the selfish and defensive environment around her-- I loved this movie as a child. It takes great courage to recognize your own strengths and reaffirm that you are worthy of proper care and attention, especially when you are being told otherwise, especially as a child. I think the movie did a fantastic job of capturing how Matilda's self-validation is truly her biggest superpower, and seeing her 'powers' grow as a physical manifestation of her confidence made 8 year old me feel powerful, myself. Thank you guys for covering this movie, I love your additions/insights into the psychology and filming style, keep it up please 🎀
I also have autism, and this film was my favourite comfort growing up 😊
@@fsociety.dat101 I think it's quite a widespread bit of misinformation that you must have some sort of specific "talent" or skill to be the 'right kind' of autistic, at least to me. This seems to be another ableist notion to try and "justify" the inclusion of autistic people in society ("I suppose we could use Matthews skill at math to help our company, let's hire him") However, as we see with Matilda, it's not her math capabilities or linguistic skills that give her power, it's her understanding that no other person gets to decide if she's good at these things or not. She would be considered a super genius compared to her family, yet they saw her as inept, odd, and unintelligent for not liking what they liked and speaking how they spoke. I think the message there is that other people's interpretation of your abilities are not indicative of your worth-- your own is, and doing things for your own enjoyment or self fulfilment is more important than fitting in. I think especially when fitting in means compromising your own morals or undermining your capabilities for the sake of others (miss trunchbull, Matilda's dad)
@@fsociety.dat101 I'm also autistic (actually found that out after my 30s and only recently diagnosed), what I am good at has never made up for the skills I lack in life, it just isolated me more because others would resent me for having abilities they didn't, while being so strange to them that their survival instincts to push weird people far away kicked in. I admit that what I am good at entertained me at least. Nowadays, what helps me in life are my natural autistic brain abilities which I'm sure you have too, like attention to details or integrity. It's not stellar expertise at anything. It allows me to have a job so I can support myself and survive because I don't have any external support or income. It is still hard as hell to maintain this life, everyday, and I'm still very unskilled in anything social, I don't make connections with people and I have one friend. But I'm sure you can find what your brain does naturally that can give you a little boost and get a better life.
I heard that. Fellow autistic here!
I found out that during filming Mara's mother was having cancer treatment, so Danny DeVito comforted mara through filming and before her mother passed he showed her the final edit of the film in the hospital so she could see Mara's performance. Danny DeVito is awesome for that.
Awesome! So sweet and heartwarming!
Danny’s a chad
He and rhea housed mara i believe when her mom did end up in the hospital long term.
@knitwitchpgh aww that's so kindhearted
"Its the hobbit!"
"Danny Devito's autobiobraghy."
Thats a line I think we should all recognize here and give a gold star.
Miss Honey was the teacher we all wish we had growing up 😢
So true
I didn't get one until highschool
As an educator I try my best to channel her at work, some days my patience gets put to the test lol. But I’m always saying to myself “what would miss honey do”
Well if we ignore the fact she knew Miss Trunchbull was abusing children and didn’t report it.
I didn't meet my Miss Honey until I was 28.
I don't think that there is a quote that sends me on a sobbing spree as much as the "you've been born into a family that doesn't always appreciate you..." one.
As a closeted ftm kid who's trying to unlearn all the hatred that mainly his brother pumped into him from a young age, it just punches me into the gut everytime.
I’m a fellow trans guy and while im incredibly lucky enough to have supportive parents, the bit that Got Me in this vid was jonno’s speech at the end about how quiet internal resistance for safety is just as valid as vocal external resistance. In a world where violently transphobic rhetoric is on the rise, i take some small comfort in knowing myself to be true. theyre wrong about me. And nothing can change that. nothing can take that from me
@@asthejayflies man, i wish you as much happiness as possible :)
Brother, you say? Yep, when I see Matilda's brother throwing things at her and when I hear Miss Honey tell her about her family that does not appreciate her, I always feel really bad. I always cry a lot everytime I watch this movie. In few words, kinda know what it means.
@@marcellaacone7085 you'll get thru this
@@_-atlas_ - Yep, you got the point. I am here IN SPITE of things, not FOR things. Kinda weird, but that's it.
Despite playing abusive parents in the movie, Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman took care of Mara Wilson while her mom was being treated for cancer. It does change how I watch the movie, but it's so wholesome that I really don't mind at all. ❤
They also sent the mom an unfinished copy of the movie so she could see her daughter's hard work
It so often happens that they cast the sweetest people as villains in movies, like Rachel McAdams and Tom Hiddleston. They're both wonderful off screen and Danny DeVito is no exception.
@@VampiraVonGhoulscoutit must be fun to play a villain
@@VampiraVonGhoulscoutSo true! More often than not I have come to find that most actors who have played awful villains or done villain personas are your heroes. Sweet people with caring hearts.
@@WhatsaModderU Alan Rickman is another prime example of that. "That unmistakable double-bass", as Daniel Radcliffe called it, often led him to be cast in roles that were, at the very least, mysterious, if not downright scary. Off-screen, however, I've never heard a negative description of that man. Not one. He had a "you don't know whether to kiss or kill" type of humor, and he reached out to those in need, precisely in the way they needed it. Devon Murray (Seamus Finnegan) and Matthew Lewis (Neville Longbottom) have talked about the valuable life and career advice he gave them, while having tea in his trailer. One day, a group of sick kids were invited to the set of "Prisoner of Azkaban", and Alan asked that a particular terminally-ill boy be given a small role. On another occasion, he asked that Tom Felton (Draco Malfoy) be given a more comfortable chair to rest in on the set, because he could tell that the one the boy initially had was causing pain. (2/22/2024)
Matilda is the only character in film I've ever related to and identified with. My favorite line of all time is "Because she's a spectacularly wonderful child and I love her." As an autistic little girl who didn't fit in the world around her being raised by a mother addicted to drugs and gambling and a father who hustled and traded cars, all I wanted was to hear Miss Honey's loving, protective words from my own mother. I'm 31 now and still working through the trauma of feeling resented and forgotten in that home.
I still watch Matilda to connect with my inner child.
I'm autistic too and I ended up like Miss Honey with a foster parent who was just like Miss Trunchbull and wouldn't let me go to college or even read math books.
I had a love hate relationship with this movie because it made me believe I could develop superpowers for one and that school was basically getting yeeted by teachers all day.
💀😭 I can’t imagine a greater disappointment as a child
Wait, you wanted to get yeeted by your teachers?
Don’t forget the “even if everyone else around you is bad, there is always someone you can find that is kind and helpful just to be kind and helpful”
It was a love and hate relationship because my mom said there was no message in this film! But when I read the original book, I could see what this film did right and what they changed obviously!
If you went to my preschool, that second half wouldn't have been entirely inaccurate
I turned my trauma into unwavering commitment and righteous anger. I cannot be bought, my morals do not bend, and I will defend what I believe in on behalf of the people who can't. And I've clawed my way up to the point where I can afford to be that person for others.
This wording is perfect, thanks. I feel exactly the same.
I’m glad I’m not the only one. Power through, soldier. We’re in this together. Thank you for putting into words exactly where I’m at, too.
You summed up exactly how I feel. Well said! ❤
Same thing here for me and my gf!
Holy shit
This is how I've always wanted to be
To this day, this movie taught me the greatest lesson in motherhood: being able to honestly admit when you're not a good fit. Mrs. Wormwood acknowledges that not only does she not know her little girl, she never will because of her own vices. Instead, she does what's best for her daughter and asks "Who's gotta pen?" and, like the movie says, does the first & ironically last right thing they'd ever do for Matilda: give her a better life than they ever could. I will forever praise this movie. I dare say its better than the book in some places and LEAGUES better than that musical. Just...just *why??*
Yes! I absolutely LOVED how Zinnia Wormwood had that moment at the end! When she waved goodbye, I think that was the only time she smiled at Matilda. It's so slight but so impactful!
I only saw bits and pieces of the Netflix musical and truly didn't like what I saw. However, I saw a video of it on Broadway and LOVED it. It's now one of my favorite musicals and I even like it much more than the movie. Try that, you may be surprised
@estherhinds6314 I have seen them. Both. I swear Dahl is rolling in his grave. Again, the movie's conclusion is the definitive one, IMHO. The songs are fun, sure, but they take away from the deeper themes/points of the plot. I'm just tired of studios taking an existing work, slapping another medium on it & trying to pass it off as something new. Please understand that this is not an attack on you. These are my feelings on a movie & book that helped me survive a family on par, if not worse, than Matilda's. I want stories like these told, I don't care what medium, but FFS, Hollywood, stop being this lazy & come up with an original concept, please. IJS.
I'm sorry you had such a tough experience. I thought the songs added great emotional depth to the story. Tim Minchin is a master lyricist . This one probably hits the hardest ua-cam.com/video/Qm5Ta8EBuTk/v-deo.html .
@@theashwoodfaerie oh geez thanks!🤦♀️
I am 59 and as I child I lived with the motto “One day I’ll be in charge and things will be different.” And they are. I hated my childhood, yet I am grateful that it gave me the perspective to make a beautiful life for myself. ❤
A theory I have is that Lucy Doll is the representation of the lost inner child and after Matilda rescues her Mrs Honey now has the full confidence to stand up to her Aunt, because she is a full person now that can protect herself and others with the awareness of a true Adult.
I love this!
Small thing, it's Liccy (lissy) doll, named for Roald's wife Felicity "Liccy" Dahl.
@@candice_ecidnac Cool
Beautifully put! I agree ☝️
Movies were smarter than we thought they were back in the day
as a kid growing up in an abusive neglectful home with undiagnosed autism and an affinity for books in my infinite alone time, Matilda was a movie i was obsessed with but was also the only movie i was ever truly unnerved by as a child bc i hated the idea of projecting yourself onto the main character of stories, i never found it desirable to see myself in these fantastical adventures bc i didnt like myself and i loved stories bc they were an escape away from myself and my reality. So to see something so SCARILY accurate to my own life to the point even back then at such a young age i could subconsciously tell it was literally like looking in a mirror, Matilda made me feel a way no other story ever has. And as an adult i love it all the more for all those reasons. It is such a universal experience for so many people while also being such a magical fun story like it just does everything right and is a masterpiece. One of my favorite movies of all time and the recent musical remake imo didnt even scratch the surface of what the original film captured despite following the book more closely
24:50 "Sometimes, if you're trying to survive, standing up means...A person tells you you're worthless. And in your mind and heart you say, 'That's not true.'"
Sometimes, "that" person you've to stand up to is your inner critic. I honestly believe that before we could stand up to others, we must stand up to ourselves first.
Crying, screaming, begging on my hands and knees for an episode about the princess bride specifically on Inigo Montoya and his revenge ark because as much as Jono talks about revenge being not good or healthy, that is the only character I’ve ever seen that got what they wanted, and immediately starts to heal afterward
YES!
Especially since, if I’m not mistaken, Mandy Patikan had recently gone through some personal loss in his life. I think his father had passed from cancer. Adds a lot of power to the “I want my father back” line if you look at it as that line coming from the actor as well as the character
PLEASE!!! C'MON CINEMA THERAPY, YOU CAN DO IT!!!
As much as I want a Princess Bride episode, I respectfully disagree that Inigo started to heal afterwards. Afterwards, he is lost. He has no idea who he is without the drive of revenge.
@@julietardos5044 but he is offered a job, he has made supportive friends through his trials, and so he has both something to build a life with, and a friend network to talk to. Plus, he realises he's lost in the woods, so to speak, having been so consumed by his revenge plan. That's a much bigger step towards healing himself than you realise.
And yet he did not play around like a cat with a mouse, his revenge was more rational. I don't know, I don't have any trouble watching his revenge, he did not torment, laugh or torture, it was not done for sheer pleasure of seeing the man struggle and be weakened. He simply couldn't live with this man being alive. I don't know, I understand Inigo a lot there.
Matilda was as a kid, and still is now, my favorite movie of all time. I'm thrilled to see a Cinema Therapy about it that does such an excellent film justice :)
I agree
The thing of Matilda giving Bruce what she always wanted (encouragement and support) is the rule I try to live my life by: be the person I needed.
As a person that grew up in an emotionally abusive family and managed to get out of there and doing the hard work to get through the pain and heal, this video feels like a warm hug from you guys.
I suffer a lot of internal anger issues, but one day, I learned about Beethoven, and how he channeled his own anger into his music. That inspired me to do the same with my writing. Now I have a book in the editing process. Finding a productive outlet for internal struggles is a great way to not only vent, but also potentially come up with something that can inspire others and set yourself up for a better life. Thanks for this video, I loved this film as a child and still enjoy to this day.
That's awesome! Channeling your emotions into art that lets them out is beautiful. I wish you luck with your book!
@@jijitters Thank you! I appreciate it!
I would love to read that book buddy 😊 it's been six months, is it out yet? If so, is there possibility to get it as e-book? And what's the title?
That's what I always tell my friends... Anger isn't the problem, it's an emotion like the others God made us with, it's how we react to it, where we center it and how we use it.
I remember my acting teacher saying that Matilda is a film that mainly kids can relate to since it is about the imbalanced power dynamics that children often face in adults. While I understand this statement, I feel it's unrealistic to say that 'only' kids can relate here. This movie means a lot to me and I think anyone who has felt like the underdog growing up can appreciate the film's message. Matilda is still a very fun and enjoyable movie.
Adults often are powerless too
yeah and every adult was once a child. as an adult i value this movie even more bc i can look at what it meant for me as a kid but also how much it meant to me as a kid in ways kid me didnt even fully understand at the time. abused kids grow up into adults who still remember that abuse, those stories still mean something even after theyve grown
@BeeWhistler exactly this. Grown ups were scary to me as a child
I think back to when I was in high school. I pissed a normal bully of mine off and then they finally told me they wanted to beat me down. I just rolled my eyes (wasn't my first time dealing with this along with living in a home with a physically abusive Step-father) and asked them where and when. Knowing full well I was going to get beat in the fight. They gave me a time and date. I showed up and as predicted they beat me down in front of all their 'friends'. All I could do was laughing the entire time while they were kicking me on the ground. They finally got done with me and started walking off. I stood up, dusted the snow off me and then straight to their face as they turned to look back at their 'handiwork' I asked with a smirk on my face, 'You feel better now?' They scowled at me so hard. The twist of it was though, the following Monday I showed up to school, every thought I would hide away, but I went on as normal, some lumps and bumps and bruises. But what was the most mind blowing thing was that I had HIS 'friends' coming up to me looking at me and then telling me I did good. Some even thanked me for doing it. It made me think. Here I got my butt kicked, but I had people thanking me and telling me I was brave for doing it. It just clicked with me how deep this kid's level of control he had over his 'friends' and to think that I helped them see, even when losing, that they could stand up to him and not take his crap. That was worth more then gold that day. I never was messed with by really anyone since that point in school and in the end it was a weird way to a win. Coming from a abusive childhood home... it sometimes is hard, I do have PTSD from that time in my life, but life does go on. We live, we learn, we adapt, and then we grow. So if you're stuck in those situations in your life right now. Just hold onto that thread that it can get better. Keeping looking out for you. Be smart. And be safe.
I had something similar happen. New year in middle school (the WORST three years of my life), and some kid I'd never seen before decided I was going to be his punching bag. Funny thing is, I don't even remember now what he did to me that bothered me, just that it was pretty consistent. One day, we had a fire drill, and as we were coming back in, again he did. . . something. I think pushed me from behind. I do remember, clear as day, finally feeling fed up, turning around, and firing a kick at him. No power, glanced off his thigh, but I just stood there, staring him down, thinking REAL hard "Let's just get this over with, you want me, come and get me." He eventually walked around me back into the building, I went back in with everyone else. He never bothered me again.
Perhaps not the ideal way to deal with bullies, but I feel it falls in line with two very important pieces of advice from one of my personal heroes, Captain John Sheridan: "Never start a fight, but always finish it," and "All you have to do is say 'no I won't' one more time than they can say 'yes you will.'"
Bro 😮 wow 😳
Can I use this as a scene in one my stories please 🥺
Recommendations (if possible)
- Hero psychology of Gwen Stacy: Across the Spiderverse
- Character psychology of Marie: Unbelievable (8 episode miniseries)
- The Iron Giant
- Psychology of an antihero of Joel: HBO The Last of Us (possible Troy Baker guest star)
- The Nanny McPhee movies
- Nimona
- Dreamworks Abominable
- Over the Moon
- Psychology of a Villain: Snow from Hunger Games (both prequel & original trilogy)
- As They Made Us (w/ Mayim Bialik guest star)
YES! I want Marie and Joel videos stat! Or alternatively, they could do a retrospective of Kaitlyn Dever's career thus far because she is AMAZING!
Ooh Snow could be VERY interesting, and I’m all for Joel and Gwen!
I’d love to see Nanny McPhee
Joel, Nanny McPhee and Nimona would be great
I have personally only read the original trilogy
Matilda was my favorite movie as a little girl because I found escapism in books too. I wasn't in an abusive household but my mom was a single parent. A lot of the times I had to entertain myself to make things easier on her. Especially Ronald Dahl books who was one of my favorites. Authors were my friends when I wasn't at school.
Same for me except my childhood was bad filled with dysfunction
I have a lot of trauma. I have bipolar disorder which led me to heavy drug addiction and homelessness. I lost custody of my kids. Today, I am stable, 5 years sober, housed, and my children are back in my life. I'm also in school. My superpower is my tenacity. I also share my voice in my experiences because I think people need to hear about hope lost and found again. We do recover.
Proud of you ❤
@@icantthinkofanything798 Thank you, I appreciate your kind words. 💜
This was so sweet and will be empowering to many. Thank you for sharing.
@@videoket Aw, thank you so much! I appreciate you saying that. That is my hope.
I’m sure you know it but if you can overcome that, you can live any dream that you may have for yourself. You are a badass in the best possible way.
As a child who grew up in a household where I was mocked and bullied by my family for having ADHD, I related so much to being mistreated just for being “different”. Being called stupid and slow for something I had no control over , treated like I’m a burden for my struggles in school (yet my mother wonders why I have such low self esteem now). Even though my adhd didn’t make me extraordinary it felt oddly comforting that it does get better. And I’m lucky that it did. This movie will always be my comfort feel good movie 😊
It doesn't get better for everybody though, for some people it stays the same and for some people things get much much worse
@@mariannehavisham8323 I think the point is this film gives hope and strength to those who are constantly put down. Yes, unfortunately, for some, it doesn't get better, but for many people it can, if they have the courage and will, like Matilda.
I have ADHD too and I know how that feels, especially growing up in an immigrant family they have no knowledge of mental health issues
@coralmaynard4876 I feel like this just shames people who don't get better, implies it's a lack of courage or will, which is more then problematic and unhelpful and judgemental.. I know offering hope is important and I know things get better for many.. it is also important to remember and bear in mind that things don't get better for everyone, for some they get much much worse, and that doesn't indicate a lack of 'courage' or 'will'
@@mariannehavisham8323 that's not what I was saying, I did acknowledge it doesn't get better for everyone, I was saying this film gives hope to people to at least try
I'm an older brother and cousin, and when I see the scenes of her brother treating her like that, it makes me rage. Older siblings are, in some capacity, an extension of the parents, so when they are sh*theads that tell me a lot of things. The scenes where she cries tears me up because when I hear or see my siblings cry, I try to comfort them or try to cheer them up.
I'm convinced that a lot of teenage boys have tremendous... more or less parenting skills. Skills in caring for younger kids. And it saddens (and sometimes infuriates) me that this reality is seldom shown in movies, shows, books. I think we'd all be in a better world if it were shown more, that boys got to see not only is it okay to be caring, it's really terrific to be caring.
As someone who grew up with narcissistic older siblings, your comment does my soul good. Bless you, dear internet person!
@katharinewiley8850 anecdotes aren't really great evidence, but my husband and I have been together since we were 17 and I knew back then that he'd be a good dad. He was so instinctively good and nurturing with kids. Way better than I was.
I love the message of Matilda, standing up for yourself is everything. But needing help is okay
Maltilda in all three iterations, is one of the most effective stories about neglect in literature and media.
I gonna have to paraphrase here because finding the proper quote would take me a day, but from Call the Midwife.
"Ah, you think you have seen all forms of poverty, Sister. There are many and one of the most difficult is poverty of love."
I'm gonna need to go on an IMDB hunt for the proper thing the priest says
*Edit* to Jonno's question. My early life experiences were very scary for a little girl. But learning to heal and embrace self understanding, means that I have gained strength to help others.
That's an interesting quote given Miss Honey's situation in the book. Miss Honey deals with extreme financial poverty in the book, but the poverty of love that she experienced cut deeper. Matilda understood that having dealt with it herself, and she and Miss Honey are brought closer together due to their true understanding of each other's problems. The book takes care to show different sides of difficult topics, particularly abuse and poverty, and your comment made me think about those themes a little differently.
@@estherhinds6314You are bang on it Esther and that's why I love all three versions. For me, Matilda and Danny Champion of the World (my actual favourite bar his work for adults like Skin and other stories) are his best works. They get into the realities of poverty and how people take care of each other and how they hurt each other.
Michin's Maltilda from the musical has even more active agency and outspoken resilience. DeVito's and thus Wilson's feels like the most realistic to how that feels being a child.
They are all great. I love Matilda. I was scared of the film as a child because Pam Ferris is always top tier but I grew with it. I think it's important reading for 10+ year olds.
Also if you ever are able to find it, Call the Midwife is great! The first four seasons are closely tied to the book they are based on. The stories are truly experiences of what post war British healthcare was like and damn it's harrowing but once again, full of people being good to each other.
Bless those brave nurses, doctors and nuns for saving so many lives.
I adored Rosemary and Thyme. I was a lil kid when Darling Buds of May was on. She was fantastic in that. That show was pure sunshine @@BeeWhistler
not me ugly crying about this movie and the behind the scenes kindness of Danny toward the little girl when her mom got sick
Lots of people learn superficial love too. Lollies, treats, getting what you want, when you want it and, later, alcohol and drugs etc. People get used the idea of fake love and then struggle to authentically love in ways that really meet the emotional needs of those around them.
this. thank you
and later bags, shoes, jewelry, flowers, cars, likes on instagram then they wonder why they're still not satisfied
to everyone who is currently in a tough home, believe me when i say it gets so much better. I also came from a bad home, one full of neglect and abuse but now I'm an adult and this is the happiest I've ever been.
remember to be kind but mostly to yourself and remember that your going to be okay, it's going to be a little hard but the time will pass anyways. I was once like you, young and scared and so tired but now I'm cozy in bed sitting near a window
This is a lie though. It might have gotten better for you. For many it won't. They will end their lives, get married and/or trapped with an abuser. They might never be allowed to get independence due to financial abuse from your parents. Abuse and neglect doesn't end as soon as you turn 18. Infant as soon as your an adult which is when alot of people realise they've been abused their whole lives and arnt just useless there's alot less help.
@@chloereed2434 you know I used to think this way too when I was much younger. Always combating whatever positive thing I could think of against real life atrocities for the fact that it indeed does happen to some people. And maybe it’ll happen to me, maybe it’ll happen to you too. No one will know, but what I do know is that it’s not my job to live through someone else’s potential life. Rather, my job now is to use what I got and try to keep pushing forward. And maybe along the way it’ll inspire those whose life you mentioned see that there is an example of getting out of it all alive. And I hope that whatever compelled you to comment, I wish for things to get better. You deserve better. And you do too. I wish you luck friend
"That's me at Applebees on a friday" was SEVERELY underrated! XD
20:59 something that is a very real phenomenon is that when you are surrounded by abuse, but a couple of people are not really _abusive,_ they give off the appearance that they are being really nice to you when in reality they are actually just giving you the bare minimum respect a human being deserves that you are not getting elsewhere in your life. this is not the only time this "getting burned" thing happens, but i think this can definitely be one of the ways it happens.
I have depended on Matilda and other Roald Dahl stories for years, having grown up in an emotionally abusive home and now learning how to heal now that I'm removed for the most part. One reason why I love this movie is that it became a crutch to me when I needed it for so many years (among others). Another reason is because Miss Honey was one of the people who helped me realize I wanted to be a kindergarten teacher, leading up to me now going to school for Elementary and Early Childhood education.
Matilda and Harry Potter resonate so much with me of as a kid being stuck in abusive homes, them still keeping their empathy and compassion, standing up for themselves and others, finding friendships and hope things will get better
As someone, who experienced trauma from a young age, the thing that my therapist and I have concluded that my empathy and emotional intelligence are my strengths, born from trauma.
My reaction to neglect and abuse was to learn more about how it has impacted me, so I can help understand the impact trauma has on others. I extend this to my friends and family, who have gone through traumatic events and to those who just want a listening ear.
I am not thankful for my trauma, but I am thankful for how I took control of it
Being a 24 year old woman who is currently trying to stand up to her abusive, toxic family, my favorite channel letting me know I can get through it and you don't have to be close to them is very encouraging. ❤
I love that you say most of us don't have telekinesis, almost acknowledging that the possibility of someone having telekinesis
I grew up in an emotionally abusive home and I would read stories to escape. Once I figured out that I could write decently, I began to write my stress away. Music helped out. I found my tribe after I got out and a little bit of light bathed my darkness. I also made sure to nice to people so they didn't feel the way I felt. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I love that this journey for Matilda starts at a library
This movie helped my love of reading 😊
The scenes where the adults are being awful have always been hard for me to watch. But this has always been an inspiring story for me. My childhood trauma never triggered a gift of telekinesis, but I choose to be the supportive, encouraging, LISTENING adult that I believe every youngling deserves. It makes me a better parent, a better friend, and a good friend to a wider age range of amazing people!
Keep up the good work, gentlemen!
Matilda is one of my lifetime favorite movies. It was made the year I was born, and okay so what if this is cheesy, but this movie was literally made for me. I was a middle child of five, and was so neglected, ignored, abused and unwanted at home and at school, but my teachers and the library were my safe places. Books were my friends. I often wished I could have developed powers from my trauma, but that's not the point.
Despite the cruel world she was so young to have experienced, she remained true to herself, strong, and imaginative. I am Matilda, she is me.
As someone who had to take care of themselves like Matilda due to parental neglect (emotional, physical, and mental) being your own friend is what really saved me. I always told myself at the end of the day “at least I have myself” from a young age I was able to criticize my flaws but not punish myself for having them because I was always a sweet person and I saw the positive qualities that I had that my adult counterparts didn’t. I became VERY mature for my age and to this day I spend a lot of quality time alone (self chosen obviously) but I still thrive in social situations. I’m a social chameleon. So for any other Matilda’s out there, you’re stronger than you think and it DOES get better!
One of my favorite things about this movie actually happened behind the scenes! Pardon the long post:
Mara Wilson's mother had cancer & was frequenting many hospital trips. Danny DeVito & his wife would take care of Wilson while her mother was in the hospital or recovering. Tragically, Wilson's mother's condition worsened & wouldn't live long enough to see her daughter in the movie. DeVito then showed Wilson's mother an early cut of the film before she passed so she could see her daughter in a movie. The mother passed before the movie & the movie is dedicated in her memory.
So glad you reviewed Matilda. It’s a fave of mine. Yes, folks who come from homes where they’re not loved or frequently sidelined develop self love skills earlier. But they can also become anxious adults, when they have spent their whole growing years fighting for a sense of self-worth, when it doesn’t become a fight anymore, you think something’s wrong, like healthy relationships, friendships, or workplaces. Therapy helps. And learning to trust yourself all over again too.
What I love about Matilda is how she does this, a d how she exposes herself to other worlds (through books) and makes friends so she realizes her home is not the world.
I read somewhere that Matilda gradually loses her powers when she feels safer. And to me, that’s an allegory of losing the need for revenge.
Its great that the episode sets to offer help to those, as Jono put, "In the thick of it (abuse)". It seems lots of therapy and other similar psychological advice offered readily available online is generally geared towards the post-trauma life. Not always obviously.
Regardless, this is wonderful for those in need.
Matilda was a really huge comfort movie for me growing up, and still is much of a comfort movie for me today. I sympathized so much with Matilda and what she went through with living in an abusive family, and how she continued to be kind despite what she was going through both at home and school and the comfort she found in reading as an escape.
10:36 It’s David Newman, the most underrated and overlooked of the Newman composers in my opinion. He regularly collaborates with Danny DeVito when Danny directs i.e. David is the Danny Elfman to DeVito’s Tim Burton.
it broke my heart to hear about people reaching out to you because theyre in abusive situation. i hope the message in this episode helps them, especially the kids and teens like matilda
it's funny to see it as Trunchball missing something that she never got as a kid (support and encouragement) as a reason to mess with others that remind her of that emptiness inside
Most people that are adult bullies never got the healing or encouragement or support they deserved as a kid. Does it excuse their behavior? No. But it does put into perspective why a lot of people are cruel. Only a pure sense of love and support from someone (including oneself) could ever lead to someone never being cruel to another being.
She could've chosen compassion and empathy like MIss Honey, but she didn't. I can't feel sorry for her.
Hence she denies ever having been a kid ; " Glad I Never Was One " . Figures.
@@HouseMDaddict I do think love and support definitely makes a difference in having a sense of security and resilience growing up. I mean Miss Trunchbull's abusive and neglectful behavior was about taking that security away from others since she never received it herself. Matilda showed amazing resiliency against her but not all children may fare as well in such situations. However love makes a difference
@@kyrancroftilich5269 it's a lot of why some parents are horrible parents too. They don't "know any better" but they also don't take parenting classes or go to therapy or do anything to remedy it. Every kid deserves a happy, stable home, but they're often being raised by adults still in "emotional childhood" (condition where adults emotionally never grow out of childhood due to trauma/neglect, and have never sought to fix it) .
11:42 I love the moment Bruce holds the glass plate above his head, it's like he's an Olympian, or a Wimbledon champion holding up their gold plate.
I had a simialr childhood to Matilda, and was a avid reader as well, I eventually developed maladaptive daydreaming so a lot of my life I've disassociated for most of it. I suppose my own 'super power' is channeling the creativety into writing so I can write down the stories that are always in my head
i relate to this!!
I didn't have Matilda's childhood but still a difficult one and I relate to your experience with writing and creativity another "superpower" I have is embathy especailly when it comes to children.
Mathilda is a beautiful tale about education too. I see it as Cinderella but instead if a Prince Charming there is a Teacher and books and knowledge. As a teacher I find this so inspiring and motivating !
Awesome vid, as always. Danny DeVito & Rhea Pearlman were a big support for Mara while her mother passed away from cancer durian the filming of Matilda. I highly recommend Mara’s autobiography.
They were both kind in real life!
I do want to push back a little on something. There is a difference between Kind and Nice. Kindness can seem cruel at the time, but it is done with the individual's best interests at heart. You can be Nice and Kind at the same time. However, Nice can be used as a tool to get close to someone in order to do harm. The reason Nice is so commonly associated with Kindness, is because often what people need is pleasant and agreeable to listen or assist them.
Basically, Nice is a tool to either be Kind or Evil, but Kindness is what is right for the person the act goes toward, even if the act itself is not a pleasant one.
I can relate to Matilda. My parents were loving and supportive. I was bullied to point of going deep into depression and struggling to not give in to thoughts of self destruction. Some of my bullying came from facility members. With that, I struggle with self love and self worth. It took my parents moving my sisters and I to a different town for all of us to heal.
Love you guys appreciating the catharsis of revenge in media, but also acknowledging how destructive it is in reality for the person seeking revenge and how that's different from justice.
This movie just reminds me of how much of a light my teachers were growing up. I was abused at home and bullied at school. Teachers are heros also.
I felt read but also some hope for myself when Ms. Honey says, "You were born into a family that doesn't always appreciate you. But one day, things are going to be different." Shout out to Ms. Honey for sure; she is a beautiful role model for Matilda and for children who watch this film (past & present).
This movie hit extremely hard for me. Granted, I'm guy, always have been, but bullying and intimidation for my ADHD was VERY common. It felt like no one understood me. Yet, when I hung out with the other "disobedient" kid, he was kind and compassionate to me.
Never underestimate the power of making friends.
I would never consider my childhood to be abusive in any way, but all these years later this movie makes me an emotional train-wreck. There's a struggle of feeling lonely even when you're surrounded by people that say they care. In reality there's never any action taken to show that to be true. I definitely had to learn to love who I was way earlier in life because of this feeling. This was a good reminder of why I loved this film so much as a kid and why it still holds up now.
There’s two fictional characters I relate to the most. 1 of those two is Matilda. It sucks being intelligent yet still big hearted among a world that values neither of those traits.
I also love that the book, movie and musical all focus on different aspects of the same story and they’re all important 💓
Just out of curiosity, if you're comfortable sharing that is, who is the second fictional character?
I agree with that. The book focuses more on things like the financial issues Miss Honey has to deal with and theories as to how Matilda gets her powers, the 90's movie focuses more on the story of the kid escaping the abusive family to live with an adult who's also got free of her abuser, and the musical focuses more on the symbolic aspect of living in abusive dynamics (though I will point out that one of the happier songs in the musical does have some hidden dark implications that, from the way they set up the choreography for that one, aren't an accident - as in, those hidden dark implications are actually supposed to be there).
Matilda got me through being a child in an abusive home and bullied at school. No matter how mean anyone was i was always kind. Still am to this day because you never knwo whay someone truely goes through. Share kindness and compassion every day and make the world a better place. ❤
I love how Danny directed this movie. The camera is almost always at the children's pov, he's got a great sense of flow specially in that scene where Matilda and miss honey are at the house with miss trunchbull. When Matilda is haunting ms trunchbull the camera angle is up to down as if you're a ghost haunting here, it shows how small she is in fact a scaredy superstitious woman.
Devito himself is so short (like 4 foot 5 inch if that) maybe it’s easy because he almost has the same point of view 😂
@byuftbl girl you didnt have to expose himb like that lol 😭 but yeah he's very small full of talent
My friene Viv loved this youtube channel - she oassed away on the 25th Jan. Thank you Cinema Therapy for helping me still feel connected to her ♥️
We're sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. Thanks for watching and enjoying Cinema Therapy with her and carrying on the love. ❤️
When I was in elementary school, the middle school (which didn't have it's own building but shared the high school and elementary school) had a principal that we literally called "The Trunchbull" because of this movie. She was a mean old biddy that still believed in corporal punishment which actually included making kids stand in an old metal cabinet she locked. She actually forgot a kid in there once, when cops found him he had blood clots in his legs and was very dehydrated.
The real kicker is she eas just demoted to vice principal after that.
THAT’S AWFUL D:
Man this might be one of my favorite episodes. I didn’t grow up in an abusive household (although I was spanked but the way it was done, I didn’t consider that abusive), but for some reason I connected with Matilda SO much as a child. It’s such a nostalgic film for me.
After listening to Matilda by Harry Styles my entire perspective on that movies changed. It was the before - where I am a little girl enjoying a joyful story that seemed kinda off, but not enough to become concerning. And then after - where I am an adult with some traumas and baggage that comes from this little girl being undervalued, misunderstood and treated in a ways that were unintentionally harming. And the lines
“you can let it go
you can throw a party full of everyone you know
you can start a family who will always show you love
you don’t have to be sorry for doing it on your own”
somehow broke me and healed me simultaneously. Thank you for binging this up ❤
I had an incredibly loved and supported childhood and didn't need to learn self love until I was in college and came out to my family and was disowned. Made college a hell of a lot harder, but made me a hell of a lot stronger. Now I have chosen family. Blood means nothing.
Well this was kind of unexpected but I’m 100% here for it
I used to think my superpower was that nothing could emotionally hurt me. I’m only now realizing that dissociation has downsides. Without pain there can be no joy. Dissociation also makes it really hard to empathize with people, which in turn makes it really hard to make friends.
I'm a film buff and MFT student who recently discovered your channel. I love it:) You made a great point about children feeling like Matilda. I remember reading the book as a kid and wishing that I could have that kind of power o er adults
Welcome! Our channel sounds like a great match for you. Hope you enjoy it! :)
this movie hits harder now that im out of my own toxic household. i keep having dreams about it. i keep wanting to go back. music helped a lot. having a friend who as she dropped me off saw the change in my demeanor helped a lot. having a musical artist say "yes this song includes you. i do indeed have the same scars. and you need to leave now you will never leave." all of those things helped. yes i miss them and the financial stability but if i had stayed it would have been the end of me.
I adored this movie as a kid because of the magic. Now, I appreciate it because of how honest the depiction of the parents and trunchbull was of their horrific behavior.
I've seen both Matilda and The Prisoner of Azkaban countless times. I'm usually really good at recognizing actors from other works. And somehow I never once realized that Trunchbull and Aunt Marge were played by the same person. It makes so much sense, and yet you blew my mind with this little piece of information. Pam Ferris did a perfect job as both women!
My school did the musical, and I got to play Miss Honey! It was my favorite role, I loved how kind she was, even through her hard times. I loved the movie musical too, all the creativity and acting(especially Emma Thompson as the Trunchbull) was amazing!!!
This movie is a gem! Matilda and Miss Honey's relationship is so sweet.
I grew up with this movie on VHS and it will always be dear to my heart. Matilda inspires me to be a positive spirit, kind to others and to be a friend to myself. But mostly to not tolerate being in abusive relationships and being around toxic people. This was awesome side content to watch while I draw and I'm going to keep watching more ! Keep it up guys
I learned interesting lessons about standing up for myself while growing up with a narcissistic mother... First I learned to understand the power that I had and not be afraid. Then I learned the rules of her games. I learned later to stand up again and again until I had the strength to do it even when I got put down hard. But really the best lesson I learned was to not allow the rage to consume me. I learned that it's more powerful to disengage and not give her the satisfaction of getting a reaction out of me. I shed the weight of her opinions and walked away from the relationship. I think anger is a powerful, helpful emotion but you have to be calm enough to not allow other's to control your actions with it.
My favourite Halloween costume as a kid was Matilda.
No one knew who I was but BOY did I love explaining!!
As an adult I have almost 1,000 books and have no intention of stopping. Movies can shape lives ❤
Oh my gosh thank you for doing this movie!! This was one of my favorites growing up! I love how you guys see movies, too. You guys point out things that I never would have thought of before. Keep doing what you’re doing 👏👏👏
Thanks so much!!
@@CinemaTherapyShowmy mom can’t watch this movie because of the chocolate cake scene.
I was one of the kids from a difficult situation. Like Matilda, my escape was books. My teachers discovered I was "good at learning" or "academically gifted" or whatever. I got into a specialized program that allowed me to excel even more. When I got to middle school, I started joining as many extracurriculars as I could. Even if I wasn't good at it, I worked hard so be a part of something. I was just desperate to not have to stay at home all the time.
My superpower was knowledge. It worked. I got college scholarships and got out of that difficult place in my life. In college, I learned how to make friends and figured out who I was.
Now, I'm a high school teacher in a low-income community. A lot of my students have struggles like I did. I encourage them to make different choices than their parents have made: "You don't have to do drugs just because your mom does. You don't have to get drunk just because your uncles all do. You don't have to be a parent before you're ready just because your parents were teens when you were born. You don't have to drop out of high school. You don't have to resort to crime and get incarcerated. You have the power to make different choices. Better choices."
Matilda is one of my fav movies as someone with a similar history as Matilda. I just dived into mathematics instead of literature.
Now I'm finishing my degree in pure mathematics!!!❤❤❤
Really helped me not only escape but find a community I can rely on, and goals to strive for in the most difficult times.
I def gotta rewatch this film after this❤❤❤❤❤
Congrats on finishing your degree! I'm a school counselor mainly because I saw what having one positive adult amidst a sea of horrible adults and situations can do to someone (me). My mom was a very strong and loving individual in my life who always made sure I never "hated" or "got revenge" on people, but instead focused my energy into being kind and never making other people feel how I felt being treated poorly by my other parent and bullies. She is still to this day one of the wisest people I know and she was a person who grew up in an extremely abusive household, so she never wanted me to be in one (she divorced my abusive parent when I was starting high school and worked 4 jobs to support us). I was a camp counselor with at-risk kids at age 16, saw with my own eyes the power of a positive older person in these kids' lives and then pursued a master's in counseling which I've now been doing for over a decade.
I rewatch Matilda pretty much anytime it's on TV and it STILL holds up like 30 years later
I love how miss Honey approach her powers at the beginning when she didn't believe her but nonetheless supported her (something in the lines of you should believe in any kind of power you think you may have). I think that's wonderful and extremely beautiful
This video could not have been better timed for me. Set to have a difficult conversation with my manager at work this afternoon about how to set me up for the opportunities I want (difficult b/c I'm sensitive to the topic, not b/c of her). She's a very wonderful boss but I've been burnt by a lot of managers before her that were abusive/neglectful, most of them who did the "kind just to lure you in" thing you mentioned (20:27). The advice about needing to be open to kindness after you've been hurt before, it'll help me to have that on my mind during the conversation. Gonna try to accept influence from someone I know is trustworthy.🙂
I have always loved Ms. Honey's character and I think she is underappreciated
Despite everything life threw and is still throwing at her at the beginning of the story, she is a sweet, kind and resilient women who has endured years of abuse and misstreatment and didn't never give up on her beliefs and core self.
And she still cares. Throughout the film, she brings hope and love to those children (not only Matilda) . That's a superpower too.
Truly kind people is not weak even if they are soft spoken
I have followed this channel for months now. Fell in love with the marvel and Disney movies even watched episodes where I haven't seen the movie. And yall finally do my FAVORITE childhood movie, and I've never been this early!! What a way to start a Tuesday morning 😁
Yay! Thanks for watching!
I would tell myself “it gets better” for years to survive the constant neglect of my family. Now I’m on the other side and the truth is it *does* get better. But you have to be there to see it.