Psychology of a Hero: PETER PAN from Hook
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- Опубліковано 25 гру 2023
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How do you find moments of pure happiness in adulthood? What movies have been transformative for you?
Licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright are taking a look at Peter and his family from Hook. This one is special for Jonathan, who shares why this movie, particularly Peter's journey, was so transformative for him. They talk about Peter's fear of failing as a parent and being crippled by stress and anxiety. And they both talk about finding youthful enthusiasm in adulthood. Because it's a Steven Spielberg movie with a John Williams score, of course Alan has a lot to say!
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Written by: Megan Seawright, Jonathan Decker, and Alan Seawright
Produced by: Jonathan Decker, Megan Seawright, Alan Seawright, and Corinne Demyanovich
Edited by: Jenna Schaelling
Director of Photography: Bradley Olsen
English Transcription by: Anna Preis
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Talk about Osmosis Jones
Ones about growing up is experiences . Some time you get less anxiety. After living through decades of doomsday climate change predictions that were completely wrong. Carbon dioxide doesn't even increase temperature
I will never forget the line “ to live, to live would be an awfully big adventure”
You should do a video of the ghost rider film. I’d really want to know the breakdown to this film.
No offense, but no thanks.
You know it's a good episode when Jonathan can't get through the prologue without breaking.
Every episode is a good episode :D
Do you mean prologue?
@@TheOnceandFutureJake Yes. *facepalm*
@Valdagast lol no worries
Whqt does 'Without breaking?' mean in this case.
I'm not a native speaker.
Rest in peace, Robin Williams. Thank you for making me laugh, and even cry, throughout my childhood. You'll be forever missed. Also, in most Peter Pan adaptations, the same actor plays Captain Hook and Mr Darling. Here, Peter Pan IS the children's father.
It always strikes me how much Peter turned into Mr Darling in this one and I always found it very profound
@@DullyDust Yeah, a lot of the time our reactions are shaped by our circumstances. But those circumstances aren't destiny, we can always be mindful and make a different decision than the one we have an impulse to do in the moment.
I don't blame someone for being short when frustrated, but I have endless respect for those who have that impulse, control it, and pick a better way to deal with that feeling.
Good on Peter (and Jono) for learning that lesson.
same with the stage productions! It honestly bugs me when they get different actors for Mr Darling and Hook, because it feels like they missed some of the analogy of Hook being the oppressive adult.
@@alorachan Technically Speaking, them being Played by the same actor isn't really meant to mean anything, it's just a Tradition that Started because the first time they did the play one of the Two Actors (I think it was the Hook Actor?) didn't show up for his First Performance, so they went "Hey, the actor playing Mr. Darling isn't in any Scenes with Hook, Can't we just have him play them both? He knows all the Lines.". It was a Hit, so from that point forwards it's pretty Much just always Been that way...
That Said, I ALSO get Annoyed when they use different actors for the two Characters, It's Tradition Damnit!... Another thing that Annoys me is when they Try to Make Peter Human, he's Literally a Faerie Boy, making him Human just Feels Wrong to the Story. He's an Immortal Boy who "Still has all his Baby Teeth" (Seriously that's part of the Description of the Character) who Fights and beats Grown men, Kidnaps Kids off the Street to Bring them to his Imaginary land in the Stars that Requires Non Specific Directions to Reach (The Second Star to the Right FROM Where?!) so they can have Fun with him until they Grow up, there is NO Way to explain all that other than HE himself is a Faerie... (THIS movie being the ONE Exception because it's just SO Good, also a Big Part of my Childhood).
Same. @@DullyDust
As I’ve been following this channel over the years, I’ve realized that Jonathan and Alan aren’t the perfect figures I thought they were, they’ve struggled and are human just like us. Realizing they have flaws and their openness about them doesn’t make me like them ANY LESS, in fact I love them so much more for their vulnerability. Love u guys 🫶
Relatability can teach us so much more than perfect examples. Perfect examples can give us something to aspire to, but they are also impossible. Relatable people can show us how to strive for the best, WE can be.
@@LillyLou It's the parent conundrum. That moment when as a kid you realize your parents aren't gods.
You become a teenager when you realize your internet dads aren’t perfect. You become an adult when you forgive them.
@@Justanotherconsumer like when I forgave them for the The Notebook video
Ofc
I want to thank Jonathan for being so vulnerable and honest this episode. Sometimes hearing that the person who seems to have life 100% figured out still experiences these things is reassuring. Also, I’m glad you didn’t give up on the channel as it has helped me work through my own relationships at times. I think the biggest lesson I’ve learned so far is that anger is never the root of the emotion, it’s a symptom of something that needs to be addressed underneath, and viewing our behaviors through that lens helps create better empathy.
Wow-that was said so eloquently. I need to save that phrasing to help me out next time I find myself arguing!
@@caitlynaizpiri7806 I got it directly from this channel! I forget which episode they addressed this in specifically, or else I’d drop the name for you :)
It was the hulk episode!! ;)
I also like how when Jack is smashing the clocks and releases his issues, it starts as silly kid things like "not letting me blow bubbles in my chocolate milk" or "not letting me jump on my own bed" but descends into actual issue like "making promises and not keeping them"
That's a great observation
Oh man... you saying that first one unlocked an interesting feeling in me. When was the last time I blew bubbles in my milk?
It's even better when Hook adds to it while also smashing a clock, endearing himself more to Jack.
@@DisturbedFlyer7I blew bubbles in my drink for the first time in many years last Saturday. I’m not sure why I did it, but it felt nice. 😊
@@reikun86 I acknowledge the mess it would make, but to be a kid again.
I would like a CT with nothing but "what can we learn from Robin Williams?" Just all the movies Robin's been in, and what can we learn from each. Because honestly this man IS therapy.
I completely second that idea
Absolutely 100% agree with you
Yes! But what could they learn from Fender? 😅
Yes!!!!
This needs more likes.
when Peter's son immediately apologizes after being yelled at (4:32) I instantly started crying. This innate fear and need to please your father is something that I have always felt my entire life. I felt like that terrified little girl all over again. I don't speak to my father anymore because it became so detrimental to my mental health. Thank you CT for covering one of my favourite movies of all time.
I hope you now know, your father NEVER meant to hurt you or scare you. My eldest is almost 20 and I have failed her horribly sometimes, but never, ever wanted to hurt her, but I know I have. Have you ever hurt the people in your life unintentionally?
How did it make you feel?
@@sutekh233 My father is a selfish addict who was never able to better himself for anyone who he claimed to care about. He never apologized or took full responsibility for any of his actions. He never attempted to get help for any notable period of time. He used fear to his advantage. I'm sorry, but I don't really agree with what you were trying to say here.
@@taylorcarss6114 Taylor, sometimes we don't know, or how to "better ourselves". My grandfather was an addict, my mother was an addict, I am an addict, Do I want, or have ever wanted to put that on my kids?
No, of course not. My parents separated when I was 6 years old and for almost 15 years, I was furious, I blamed my father for everything wrong in my life, for hurting my mum, making her cry every night. Now, my mother is dead, I live with my father and take care of him now that he is in his late 70's. I took 7 years off work to be a stay at home dad, now I see my kids on their birthdays or Christmas only
Addiction is HARD, that does not mean you have no right to be angry, indeed you have EVERY right to be mad, but you need to see the other side. People think addiction is a choice, it's not always. I cannot say weather your father tried or not, that is beyond me.
ALL I can say is that there is always another side, weather it's valid or not?? Up to you.
I wish you all the peace in the world, I may not be the person to give it, but that does not mean I don't want it for you
@@sutekh233How do people not seem to understand that intent has NO EFFECT on accountability?
Hurting someone and then feeling bad about it afterwards does not cancel out the fact that you hurt someone. They still had to feel that pain, regardless of your intent at the time. The person you hurt does not magically feel "unhurt" by the experience the second you say, "Oh but I never MEANT to hurt you!"
You can't magically go back and change what you did. The best you can do is apologize, acknowledge that what you did was wrong, and (this is crucial) *promise to change your behavior* . Then it's up to the person who was hurt to decide how they wish to move forward. And if they decide to give you another chance, then it's up to YOU to keep your promise.
Simple as that.
It's not rocket science. It's just empathy. :)
@@taylorcarss6114 I'm so sorry you had to go through that as a child and I'm sorry your father never changed. I hope you're in a better place now and I wish you all the best
I was crying with you, Jonathan 😭. Even though I’m just a 24-year-old girl - I can only imagine what a burden trying to be a good father can be.
This is one of my favorite movies EVER. It makes me cry every single time. I’d be hard-pressed to think of another movie that more perfectly captures childlike joy, wonder, and imagination.
Maybe for Father's day, can we get an episode featuring "a goofy movie?" I think it'd be a great way to talk about parenting styles. Goofy starts out permissive, but by the end is closer to authoritative, and Pete is textbook authoritarian.
I NEED THIS. Like, the whole world needs this episode!
Yes!!! One of my favorites sitting next to hook
I want it too!
Or even teen parenting specifically as they grow into adulthood, how do you honor their independence but balance the parental control you still need to have.
@caseycollins5837 especially as a single parent. They could also talk about healthy communication, perspective taking. The moments leading up to Nobody else but you will hit them hard when max says "I'm not your little boy anymore dad. I've got my own life now!" And goofy says "I know that! I just wanted to be part of it."
“Robin Williams set my standards for what type of father I want to be” means so much to hear.
As someone who never had a father in my life Robin Williams movies always meant a little more because of how much I wanted him as a father. Your kids are lucky to have you
My little brother was married the same day I found out that Robin died. You can guess which one I was more emotional about. RIP Robin.
I grew up looking at Robin like the perfect father figure even though I had my own (very far from perfect) dad. I think I somehow wished my dad would change like Robin's characters did in Hook or Mrs Doubtfire...
Now I see myself as the parent figure and I kick myself for my lack of patience. It gets a whole lot more meaning once you become a parent, this movie!
Same boat here. I try to explain why his passing hit me so hard and its cuz he was the role model of the father I wanted in my life.
@@kurimallow a lot of 80s kids are going to be devastated when Peter Cullen leaves us. Optimus Prime was a great TV dad.
@@kurimallowright? For me Mrs. Doubtfire gets me the most. Like I know the premise is kinda creepy lol but god the fact that he’d go those lengths to be with his kids? Makes me cry. I feel like he’s also very fatherly in Jumangi. God I just miss Robin.
"Neuropathways usually take time, but this was like a bulldozer just right in there." The testimony and transformation of Jonathan by this movie is also worth clinging to, yet it is the quote that impacts me the most. Thank you both for covering Hook.
I know the core of the movie was Peter's transformation, but I also like the transformation Rufio. At first he seemed jealous, but also hoping to find Peter as his hero, and it seemed as though there were the two sides of himself fighting back and forth. I mean, he was the lost boy who filled Peter's shoes when he left. Part of him didn't want to give up that mantle. But the other part was the boy who used to look up to Peter Pan. I think at first he resented him both for leaving and also coming back, but slowly came around to not only looking up to Peter again, but also wanting to truly help him and fight along side him. Dante Basco did a beautiful job portraying all those emotions.
EDIT: I thought I put this in the main part of my post, but, also I get the feeling that Rufio wanted to rally around Peter when the little cutie said, "Oh, there you are Peter!" But the fear that the man before him would let him down kept him from immediately going to him.
Rufio's death still remains in my top 10 saddest movie deaths. I loved that character arc and couldn't believe that Spielberg had the cajones to kill him off.
@@brandonbuchner1771 yeah, no matter how many times I watch it, I cry like a baby.
@@brandonbuchner1771facts
I loved loved Maggie Smith as Wendy, especially an older Wendy, the speech Peter gave about 'maybe we do have something in common, we're all orphans' always teared me up, she grew up, and wanted to help children less fortunate
She never stopped taking care of the lost boys
Including Toodles I suspect.
Proof Maggie Smith was born at age 70.
I loved the beginning dinner where they honor Wendy. I feel like a lot of adaptations miss the fact that Wendy is the protagonist of Peter Pan. The story is named after him, but it's Wendy's journey that carries the narrative. That's why I love the 2003 movie cause I think it captures that perfectly.
My wife is due with our first child in February, after 7 years of trying. The amount of times I thought about the scene where Robin holds his baby and finds his Happy Place has gone though my mind a million times
Edit: thanks guys for liking my comment. This video is literally making me cry in my office. I keep looking at the ultrasounds on my desk and realized my little girl is already my Happy Thought.
Hoping for an easy delivery and a healthy baby!
I wish you all the best on your incredible journey. Your life will never be the same. I am glad you said February, that means everyday the baby is in utero from here is a bonus. Don't rush it. The baby will be here in it's own time. You will never feel "ready" enough.
@Archeantusable - What a wonderful gift for your new year! May all be well with your family.
Wishing your family all the happiness in the world. I can tell your little girl will be cherished :3
Wishing and praying for an easy delivery and many, many more happy experiences with your little girl!
Robin Williams set Johnathan’s standards as a therapist in Good Will Hunting and as a father in Hook, and my god did he set my standards in Dead Poet’s Society for what I wanted to be as a teacher. He was so truly one of the most positive figures ever to grace the stage of Hollywood and there’s no way to fathom how many lives he changed with his humor and wisdom.
Damn it you guys. I’m a sensitive father of two boys. I didn’t know how much I needed your channel. I love you both and thank you for giving this gift of reflection and remembrance of keeping my inner child free. Especially within this one specific episode. Thank you so much.
Man, it really hit me when Jono cried thinking how his kids were scared of him while he wanted to be their safe place. Because my father ALWAYS relied on fear, and whenever I'd disagree with him, even if I present evidence, he'd just scare me into shutting up. And my mom regrets not treating me the same way because on occasion I stand for myself and point out her abuse (along his)
To them, that's disrespect.
Same here. My father would yell at me for "little things" like getting excited over getting straight A's when his TV show was on. In the times when I yelled at my boys, I sounded exactly like my father (if less verbally aggressive). It scared me and I made an effort not to yell as much.
Still, that can be challenging with a 16 year old and a 20 year old!
@@Techydad I'm 26 and they still do this. Saying that must always obey them and they're allowed to yell at me even for no reason. If my dad walked into an argument between us he'd either ask "how dare you raise your voice at your mother" or "how dare you lead your mother to raise her voice" even if I try to explain my side of the story he tells me to shut up and only listens to her. I'm glad you're trying to be a better father for your children and not just yelling at them because it's less inconvenient for you.
I’m 42 and they still do this: these types of people never change.
I chose no contact.
@@RainbowSunshineRain I agree, unfortunately. I'm waiting for the right chance to cut myself off completely.
For me, it helps a bit to realise, my parents were treated the same way by theirs, and my granddad was belted by his mother when he was a little kid. It's a whole ffing horrible miles wide wave of taking sh*t out on weaker or smaller people, it goes back centuries. For me, looking at it like this, it makes it slightly less personal... Of course my inner child says: couldn't they just sort it out before i came along? Or whatever.
Now if everyone on the planet could learn to process their own emotions... It'd be a different world
Hoping still.
Oh and yes staying away may be the only safe, sane option, so if you have to, go.
Life😢
❤
Hook is such an important movie to my family. It's my dad's favourite movie, and the only movie that makes him cry. He was that dad at the park who was playing WITH us, tossing my sister and I up in the air, pushing us on the swings, chasing us around and being wild and crazy. He was my own personal Robin Williams. In my early teens, he lost his job and fell into a deep depression and was a volatile, angry man for the rest of the time I lived at home (in his defense, he suffers from BPD and Bipolar). But every time we would sit down as a family and watch Hook, I could feel his heart softening and he would course-correct, even if just for a few days (for the record, he's mellowed with age and has apologized and made amends for his behaviour). I don't really know where I'm going with this, I can barely type through my tears, but thank you both for this video. When my dad is gone, I think I'll remember him more like this: the dad who never wanted to grow up, and who made it clear to us even in hard times that we were his happy thought.
Oh, gee, now I’m crying 😅 It warms my heart to read how your father keeps fighting his disease in order to be a better father for you.
I watched Hook so many times as a a kid, I love this film
It was the first fairytale sequel I've seen and it was such a cool thing to see "What if Peter Pan left Neverland and married?"
So Alan, did you miss the whole "Pan's shadow" thing? The reason Peter originally went into the Darling's bedroom was because he had lost his shadow. When he found it, his shadow was making those kinds of movements on the wall. Also, I love that they flew to England on "Pan Am"
I honestly don't think someone needs to point out a reference to acknowledge the reference. Maybe they did miss it, maybe they didn't, I personally don't think it was a significant miss either way.
@@Scrofar what?
that is literally the first time I have ever thought about the juxtaposition between the kid's shadow, and Peter's shadow! you are a genius good sir/ma'am
Jumanji was filmed across the road from my school, Thornhill Elementary (with almost 70 students at the time). That mansion was left partially unfinished until filming started.
Robin actually came into the classrooms (because of course he did) to visit the students. Though I didn't get to meet him, I was suddenly hospitalized with croup. I was maybe 5 and it's not an exaggeration to say it's the deepest missed opportunity of my life.
I remember wanting to ask him, something of how he stayed so positive when he (or his characters) always had to struggle with unfair problems. As if our struggles are wronger when they're unfair. Hook and Mrs Doubtfire are still core memories of a strange and traumatic childhood. I'm still upset that he's not here. The Genie's magic will never be topped.
I think that’s the roles where Robin really shined and that was when he was able to portray fatherhood. He brought this heart to it because his dad characters weren’t perfect but he still loved his family and it just meant that there was room for growth.
Suggestion: I’d love to see you guys analyze the emotional baggage from past relationships through Ramona and Scott from Scott Pilgrim vs. the world.
And Scott Pilgrim Takes Off! I was impressed with how that show turned out!
Capital idea
I LOVE THIS IDEA
I feel like that would be difficult when it comes to Scott’s exes because most of that development is in the original comics. Envy Adams is practically a one-note character in both the movie and anime compared to Envy and her closure with Scott in the comics and Kim’s relationship with Scott and the baggage between those two is mostly glossed over in both the movie and the anime.
@@theassortedhobbies fair fair, I haven't read them yet!
When that kid says “oh there you are, Peter” so softly, I could just cry.
This was a wonderful episode.
My daughters were born in 1989 and 1991. I really took to heart that conversation between Moira and Peter when she told him that the children are at an age when they want to spend time with him, and it's not going to last forever. Enjoy it while you can. It influenced my parenting style, and I'm extraordinarily thankful to say that now in their 30s, my daughters still want to hang out with me any time.
I had a similar conversation with their mother more than once, but I phrased it as, "We are the adults, the parents. Our relationship with our kids is up to us. How we interact with them now will determine the relationships we have with them the rest of our lives." We divorced when the girls were very young, and I raised them. I have a fun and healthy relationship with my adult children, and their mom is a Facebook friend.
I now have a granddaughter, and she seems to have a very healthy relationship with her parents. It's great to see.
One of my favourite childhood films ❤ jesus, I miss Robin Williams 🥺
Same tho
I’m not a parent, but it hit me hard. I also forgot why did I choose the path i’m in right now. I really needed this episode.
You are certainly not the only one!
Same here
Same
Same.
Only yesterday I woke up with depression and no will to live.
Thankfully, now I found the life sparkle again.
@@RainbowSunshineRainso glad you found it! Stay with us!
Can we just appreciate how amazing Robin’s performance is 30 years later! He is still brilliant and brings grown men to tears.
I needed this episode. I'm having a tough time parenting my 3 year old to the point that I often wonder if I made a huge mistake in becoming a parent. The exhaustion and the grind really wear you down. Remembering why I wanted to become a parent in the first place helps reframe the whole thing. Before her, I wasn't sure if I wanted kids. Then I got pregnant and immediately fell in love with the life inside of me. It was like a light switch. Immediate. That pregnancy ended in miscarriage and I was devastated. The second pregnancy also ended in miscarriage. I didn't know if my heart could take any more loss, but I had gotten a glimpse of what being a mother was-- who I was, or could be, as a mother, and the unique experience of love that it brought. And I couldn't let that go. So we tried one more time and ended up with my now 3yo. Then our last child joined the family shortly after. In my heart, I have 4 children. Remembering that I really chose her, that I really chose this life for good, meaningful reasons... It does help. The grind is still hard and being a parent is incredibly humbling. But I become a different mother, a more joyful, more present, more affectionate mother, when I can remember why I became one.
Thank you Jono and Alan and Cinema Therapy. ❤ And of course, Robin Williams, Steven Spielberg, and everyone who made Hook.
💝💝💝💝💝💝
I really admire Jono and Allan for talking about their experiences ✨💓 best internet dads ever
Major props to Jono for sharing so deeply and being so vulnerable, but also to Alan for being such a great listener!! He unselfishly gives space and time for J to share his experiences and feelings and to let his story be told; that right there is the true sign of a great filmmaker and friend 💯💯
One thing I think anyone can take from this movie is how easy it is to lose sight of the good things in your life. How we can all fail to appreciate something or someone until they're not there anymore. Peter's experience can serve as a wakeup call out of apathy and complacency.
This movie is one of my all time favorites. I don't have kids, but the message of not losing your joy in adulthood still hits hard. Peter's journey hits as an adult, Jack's journey hits as a kid - especially during the clock scene where he's smashing everything. By the end of it, you can see the core hidden under the previous reasons he gave to smash each clock. And Maggie never lost hope.
I usually feel inadequate as an adult due to my ADHD and autism making me seem and act more 'childish.' I feel guilty that I should have grown up a long time ago. In reality, I did grow up. I'm more mature in a lot of ways. I'm on my own. Yes, I'm alone without a family of my own, but I'm surviving. I've suffered soul death for at least two decades because of surviving adulthood alone. I didn't grow up when it comes to relationships, but I still can't trust someone to not hurt me or leave. And being demi-ace makes it worse. Whenever my previous boyfriends found out they couldn't get to home base with me, they left.
They all left.
I can't just "fall in love." I can't just "meet someone," and I can't just "get together with someone." I never could. No one's ever wanted me, and I don't know how people do it. What part of myself to I have to sacrifice to not be alone? Do I have to traumatize myself by sleeping with someone - doing something I do not want to do - to keep someone around?
But there are times when I'll just jump in a puddle because it's fun, or step on those interactive floor screens at the mall that kids can play on because it's harmless fun, or when I turned 30, I played on a swing set at the beach because I love the feeling of it and missed it. I even challenged a 9 year old kid to a jump contest to see who could jump off the swings the farthest. He won, of course. Less body mass thus less drag. I would have beat him if I was 30lbs less and a foot shorter.
I forfeit the swing to some kids who showed up - of course. After all I'm an adult. I should be on there anyway.
But did I feel silly and self conscious? Yes. Did I have fun? Yes. Was anyone else hurt? No. The ones who would have been cringing would be any of the adults watching me have fun, because they forgot how to do it themselves. Putting me down for finding joy in small moments like that makes them not have to face their own broken selves, and feel better about being jaded.
I still feel like I've failed as an adult because I have no family and no significant other, but to keep myself from breaking again and almost making the ultimate mistake again, these small moments of finding joy are literally life saving.
I told myself when I was a kid that I would never forget what it felt like to be a kid.
I agree with Jono about looking in the mirror and seeing wrinkles. Like.... that's not me. That's now what my soul looks like. And yeah, it hurts to realize that's what the world sees and not the soul inside trying to smile and have fun while being beat into the dirt by life.
RIP Robin Williams.
For a lot of people in our society, being an adult feels so much more lonely compared to what we think it looks like to be a child. So we romanticize a child's reality. As an adult, finding a sense of community to belong to as a cherished member of is difficult and so often evaporates the moment there is a holiday to celebrate or an illness to endure (even a minor cold) compared to the picture of a loving family who live together. No, you should not sacrifice your mental/physical needs in search of someone with (or in front of) whom you can relax, play, and be silly without negative judgement, but that human right/need doesn't make the lonely view of being a single, solo adult any easier to live inside a world that's populated by families who have already established trust with each other. Living outside of an "I'll be there for you" situation is lonely and hard. We are all scared of negative judgement, at any age. So many people claim to appreciate "childlike" joyful fun but then are quick to make themselves feel superior by criticizing a different point of view of the world. I suspect the reason you felt self-conscious on the swing is because judgemental attacks about how to find enjoyment seem to get used incredibly often by adults towards each other. Getting criticized for wanting to play by that kid you had the swinging jump contest with (say, for example, if the child had instead rejected playing with you using a comment about you being weird or some other negative judgement about you wanting to play) would have felt the same (or maybe worse) as it would have coming at you from an adult watching the two of you. Interactions with other humans are complex. That's why everyone of any age, child or adult, appreciates kindness so much.
Therapy Dads, I have been waiting for you to cover this movie.
Peter Pan is a story that has wrapped itself around my heart and stayed with me my entire life. I watched the Disney version over and over as a little girl. I read the original books, the Peter and the Starcatcher's series, anything and everything that tells the story of Peter Pan, and I still do so. I also read the heck out of the Disney Fairies books.
I watched HOOK for the first time and I had a roller coaster of emotions from the beginning to the end. I still do every time I watch it 🥲❤️
Thank you for your show, Therapy Dads. Thank you for being here and being an inspiration to so many people ❤️
Thank you for watching and being with us on this journey! ❤️
Same! It’s nice to meet another person who’s also consumed ALL the Peter Pan content… I think. 😆 (to be fair, I only read the first Peter and the Starcatchers books… 😉 If you have seen the Broadway musical, who’s your favorite actor? Mine’s probably Cathy Rigby. I completely feel the same way about my own experiences with the Peter Pan story. Whenever I mentioned that I loved the story so much, I would get the funniest looks 🤷♀️ ah well, whatever…
Robin Williams always had a way of just pulling at your heartstrings in his films, and I think after his loss that has become even more true and more impactful. I miss him.
The feels in this movie are so pure. The running marbles joke and pay off gets me everytime.
A more mature version of this is basically “What Dreams May Come “ another RW movie dealing with loss, grief, and to a lesser extent being a father...but more so being a husband and soulmate. The painting scene is another masterpiece ( pun intended) of cinema art.
Thankgod Jonathan doesn’t cry as much as Alan 😂 I wouldn’t make it through any of their episodes without bawling. Thank you for being vulnerable❤ I hope so many fathers see this. (Don’t worry Alan, its good wen you cry too😂)
Fr! I was watching it in the morning while preparing to get out the house and I had to stop because I was starting to cry and I can’t start my day crying, you know? 😅😂❤
When I saw this thumbnail pop up in my subscription box, I honestly was a bit worried. Robin Williams was pretty much my childhood, as I’m sure is the case for a lot of people, but I think it was the only celebrity death that ever actually affected me besides may be Steve Irwin. This movie was so huge for me even as a kid with trying to be positive and have some thing in your life that keeps you going. The man was such an inspiration for me and I didn’t even know the scope of that until he was gone. 😢
If you haven't already, watch Robin Williams in Awakenings.
If you haven't seen it, he plays a very awkward, socially inept doctor who gets curious about a patient where he works. The patient is Leonard, played (insanely well) by Robert DeNiro, and is basically frozen in his body after he got an illness as a child. Robin Williams's character realizes that there's several of these people with the same condition in that hospital, and figures out there's a medicine that may help them. It's such an amazing movie, but be prepared for so many tears.
Me too! And Anton Yelchin. But Robin Williams is the only one that continues to make me cry to this day.
My two that still affect me are Robin WIlliams and Naya Rivera. And when it inevitably happens I know Maggie Smith is going to hurt just as much...
@@danitini14Knock on wood that Maggie’s still with us, but that will be sad day indeed.
I've never missed a celebrity more than Robin Williams. It devastated me when I heard of his death, especially considering what he died of and how much he was struggling and no one knew.
It breaks my heart when people chalk this film up to Robin Williams playing another man child and nothing more. It's so much deeper than that. So, thank you for covering "Hook" with such open, appreciative hearts. I hope it leads others to take another look at this. Bangarang!
I was born with an extreme case of bipolar disorder and as an undiagnosed child movies like this and many others that Robin Williams was in from when i was little to even now still have the power to make me smile and laugh even when the depression tries to gain new footholds. There will never be another like him and everything i learned has helped me to grow as a person. RIP Robin Williams, if there is anything after this life, you deserve the best there is to be had.
I do really like they end it on the line "To live would be an awfully big adventure", The reverse of his line from the books, showing his personal growth in moving from existing, as Peter Pan, the boy who wouldn't grow up, who will just continue, never change, to Peter, the man, who has realised living requires change, growing old, and all the things that go with it.
Rufio was the most Badass character, and definitely the one that I remember the most. Channel Awesome even wrote an alternative script where he doesn't die, child me is still trying to get over his death. 😭💔
I cry every time Rufio dies! It's just so sad. I'll have to look up that alternate version! I had the biggest crush on Dante Basco because of this movie, and that definitely transferred to Zuko in Avatar because he voiced the character. He is so good as an actor and still looks great.
@@samansu9106How did I not know that Rufio is Zuko?!!! 🤯
Rufi-Oh, Rufi-Oh, Ru-fi-OHHHHHH!! 😂😂
Like a slightly older version of Jack if Peter hadn't got the wake up call he needed to redeem himself. I think in some ways Peter reminds Rufio of his own Dad hence the hostility he shows towards him & whereas he would never turn violent towards Jack, Rufio I suspect had been subjected to physical abuse from his own Father.
This episode confirmed it: Every movie is better with Robin WIlliams in them.
Truth!
As great as that is, he did have some misses, like Death to Smoochy.
I think this movie wasn’t well received by critics but for the reasons that I think it’s one of the best movies, like the unrealistic, arts and craftiness of the props. It feels like a set designed by children and that’s why it’s so good!
The critics always beautiful classic movies it feels like. If they hate it, I get a bit excited 😂
If critics don’t like it, it’s definitely good
I love this movie. The fun, and the sadness. It has always made me cry, even as a kid. I felt so bad for the kids, the family. For Peter, too, when he rolls away as a baby, for his parents who lost him. And then for him coming back and seeing them behind the closed window. My heart just hurts over and over again in this movie. But boy, that wholesomeness when they get back together, when they get back home, when the marbles are returned. The food scene. The kid recognizing him. The love. Hook, Smee. And of course: Roo-fee-ooooooo.
I just love this movie so much.
I’m not a parent but I watched this recently again a couple years ago and sobbed for like an hour. It’s a powerful one.
I will never forget the line “ to live, to live would be an awfully big adventure”
Hook was always a favorite of mine. I loved watching it as a kid, but I never imagined how much it meant to some people. I'm glad you shared your story with us.
Robin Williams was an amazing actor.
I was a young adult when this movie came out. (I had the opportunity to see it twice at that time. Once was with a friend who had endured ab*se from their father. Being there as they processed the idea of "a father whose Happy Thought is me?!" was something I can't even describe.) Watching it again, years later with my kids, was definitely a whole different experience! 🥺
My kids are now 20, 23, and 26. If I had to learn to fly in order to save them, I would.
Thank you so much for this episode!
Being a parent this movie hits so different now. So easy to forget to have fun with your kids when I get so wrapped up in the busy-ness of adulting. I know what Wendy means when she says, “Peter you’ve become a pirate…”
I loved this version of Peter Pan when I was a kid and robin Williams is epic as ever.
I cried with Jonathan at 5:11-5:45. I just became a mom to my second child. Going from one child to 2 has been harder than I thought it would be. And there are times where I have become so overwhelmed and overstimulated by both kids that I have snapped. And I feel so bad and guilty. I feel like this horrible monster. I apologize to my eldest and to my husband when things like this happen and I still just feel like crap. So this movie was a form of cinema therapy. And my 2 kids are my happy thoughts. They are what I love and breathe for and what get me through my darkest days. I actually cried with jono this whole video. Seeing this movie as am adult and a parent, is so much different than seeing it as a child. You do really get to see both sides of the story
I'll never understand the flak this movie gets. It's brilliant cinema as far as I'm concerned. It beautifully captures the heart of children, parents, the elderly, family dynamics, hopes, regrets.... and You Are the Pan brings pathos like the best. Thanks for covering, and for your personal story.
I'm so fortunate my late father got to be my hero in the short time he had with us, despite being the provider. It felt he always had time for us, he never got mad and he could take on the world, which is through the lens of childhood, but even as an adult he has remained objectively an impressive person. I wish he got the chance to grow old with us.
The fathers who are that kind of heroes to a child, usually stay that way. I’m in my mid thirties and my Dad is still alive. He is just like you described, and he is still a hero to me. Your Dad sounded like a gem 😊
I don't tend to get emotionally attached to public figures. But when Robin Williams died, I cried. He was not just an incredibly gifted actor, he was a beautiful soul that brought light to the world in a way few people manage to do. He will live on in all of the great work he left behind. Thank you for sharing what this film meant to you and how it changed things for you. One of the best episodes of CT you've ever done.
I wasn’t expecting Jono to cry now I’m crying 😭 as someone who cares for a lot of young people and tries to stay in touch with their inner child, I really feel that struggle of being an adult, feeling torn in 1 million directions and snapping at your kids and remembering that all they want is to connect with you
This is my favourite episode in all of cinema therapy. because it also helped me understand my parents as an adult child and finally reach a bridge of empathy and compassion while still maintaining healthy boundaries for my well being realistically. Thank you. This story also breaks the chain that only young men can be heroes. It's never too late indeed. This was great thank you.
This was an incredibly powerful episode. You guys are making a real impact and I can’t thank you enough for not only investing your lives into doing this but for having the courage to be vulnerable. You are both heroes. Never stop.
Echo that. I am so grateful for Jonathan's and Alan's ability and willingness to be vulnerable with us. I love the combination of movies and therapy, but especially appreciate the courage of these two men to share so openly.
Guys, I can't tell you how badly I needed this, and needed it now. I'm not a mother or wife (I long to be, but long story), and I've been in therapy for YEARS trying to get over the wounds of the first half of my life. I fight hard for my healing, and there HAS been healing and growth. But I'm still stuck at 17, when one Christmas, the ticking time bomb that was my family and personal life was blown up. I'm still stuck and I keep clawing my way up, and this year especially I've felt more and more despair that I'll never be free of that cataclysm and its staggering varieties of aftershock. Jonathan, you've spoken the exact words that have been breaking my heart: "I don't see ME," and "Life has beaten it out of me." I don't like to indulge in self-pity; from early on in my therapeutic journey, I have leaned in hard to do the work. I don't want to be perpetually in therapy, I don't consider them whine sessions. This Christmas season I've had so little joy. I miss the wonder I had as a child, I've fought so hard to keep it. This season, I can't stop grieving.
So thank you. Thank you for putting this loss and fear and exhaustion in spite of all your trying to succeed in that season of your life into words. So few will confirm that sometimes there's stuff that lingers, no matter how hard you work at it. No one wants to acknowledge that, because the concept is frightening.
"Oh, *there* you are, Peter!"
God that got me immediately.
I coincidentally rewatched Hook tonight too after many years and I became so emotional. I watched the whole movie just in awe at how beautiful it is and outraged at how the critics did it dirty in the early 1990s.
This movie was nothing short of transformative for me as well Jonathan. I cannot understate the power it had on me. It's silly to think about and admit sometimes, but this movie truly made me want to be a dad. 30 years after watching it, I am one, and the happy thought scene still kicks me right in the gut.. What a great reminder this piece of media is to being dedicated, loving and present to your children.
Happy Holidays & New Years.
It makes me so happy that this helped you feel like you were being a better father. You had the experience I wished my own abusive father would have. Between Hook and Mrs. Doubtfire, I wanted Robin Williams to be my dad so badly as a kid. Robin's death was very difficult for me as he represented all I had wanted from a father. You are a good man, and your family and friends are lucky to have you! Thank you so much for this episode!
Was NOT expecting Hook to show up on Cinema Therapy but I'm here for it! Loved this movie as a kid, and even as an adult that became something of a snobby cinephile I still revisit this one with joy. Never understood why this got so much hate. Pretty much every element of this from the direction to the music to the cinematography to the sets to the acting are just top notch. I know some people hate Spielberg's sentimentality, but I've always said that if you have the cinematic chops you can pull of sentiment so that it feels earned, and it does feel earned in this one and most Spielberg.
I bawled my eyes out watching this, last Jan I was laid off & spent 6 months training to land a new job & within those 6 months I carried stress & feelings of failure which made me at times not play with my daughter. In moments I said no I’ll never have her at this age again, play with her. Now we’re stable & I’ve become extremely appreciated by my peers. It just hit me now how much this year has been a reflection of me & what it means to be a father. Thank you guys so much.
Crying with Jono is a nice experience. Thank you for doing this one. It was obviously personal and powerful, and makes the whole point of why Cinema Therapy is a thing. I have a special fondness for Robin Williams and it is always nice to smile at his work.
Whenever I watch Hook, and I get to the part where the cutest little Lost Boy says - "Oh there you are Peter!" The overwhelming joy that bubbles up in my chest has no where to go but leak out my eyes. How wonderful it is, to find yourself...especially when you didn't know you were supposed to look for it. Robin was one of a kind human, much missed. #cryingwithJono (Alan, love the short hair!)
This, 100% this. I feel the same way about this movie to the core. It spoke to me when I first watched it as a kid. As a teenager. As an adult. As a husband watching it with my wife for her first time. This movie changes you, and you can learn something new for yourself every time.
Thank you for taking the time to be vulnerable and sharing cinematic therapy and art with us.
While it is most certainly alright to cry with someone, I have to give props to Alan for reigning it in and NOT crying 😂 as someone who also cries easily, I salute you, Alan! It's a great testament to your ability to be there for others and to your beautiful teamwork. Great episode!
BANGARANG!!!!!
Also., funny how one of your most recent episodes was on Zuko from TLA, when Zuko's voice actor Dante Bascoe got his start here as Rufio.
I grew up watching this movie in the early 2000s, and never understood why so many people in my generation didn’t like it. It’s an amazing movie with heart and genuine emotion.
And some INCREDIBLE filmmaking decisions! Like, there are two shots of Neverland from the air, in which you can see, EMBOSSED ON THE OCEAN, a compass rose. No attention is drawn to it, no one comments on it, but it’s there, because Neverland isn’t *quite* real.
And the last line any lost boy has: “that was a great game”… because everything is a game to them.
Plus, it’s got just great comedy for kids or adults. As a kid, I loved the food fight, and the big battle scene (I still do love them). As an adult, I get a lot more out of Smee, Hook, and the pirates.
People in your generation didn't like it because it wasn't meant for them. Traditionally, Peter Pan works on two levels: that of children, and that of their parents. This movie was aimed straight at parents and wasn't particularly concerned about kids - the presentation of kids in this film is severely lacking.
So connecting with everyone’s reactions - this movie has such a special place in my heart. It’s good to be watching this with those who all feel the same way about Hook.
Being a parent really changes your mindset.
As a teen, I watched fiddler on the roof all the time with my mom and I related to the three daughters trying to grow up, find love, and have their happiness.
After having a daughter myself, it’s totally different. The song “sunrise, sunset” makes me cry each time I hear it now.
Merry Christmas to my Internet Dads! Thank you for making our lives brighter and happier! 😊😊💕💕🙌🙌
Merry Christmas! 😊
Crap, now I’m going to have to reference this movie to my clients who find themselves in similar situations as Peter with their children. Thanks for the therapy tool! This movie is such a gem.
This was a touching episode. I was jamming in a home studio with my friend's husband this past weekend whom I've known for 18 years. This was the first time he's been intensely vulnerable as he's always maintained a calm and collected demeanor. He brought up that he missed music and had lost his joy due to life's pressures and his grueling job. He's nearing retirement and doesn't know if he can "do it" anymore. His candor was quite concerning to me. He really seems to have lost himself though he is a hardworking, loyal, creative, thoughtful, kind, civil servant, and an excellent father and husband. Having grown up in Germany with what sounds like emotionally distant parents, he's overextended himself by being selfless as a husband, and father, and in his career; like you say, he's "lost in the day-to-day struggle", I've shared this video with him. Though he doesn't relate 100% because his children have grown up, I pray he finds meaning again, and understands it's okay to be himself- that he finds that sparkle of Peter Pan deep inside (all of us), and there is a joy to be found in the beautiful life he's created for himself and his family; even with crippling responsibility. I hope he comes to realize he's not a failure, but a success. I'm a 35-year-old female. Even with the 26-year age difference, I can relate to that lost feeling in that I haven't built that beautiful life that I've always wanted.
I remember going to see Hook in the theatre as a kid. Family legend has it that when Peter rediscovers being able to fly, my younger sister (who was a very quiet little thing) jumped up in her seat and yelled "yay, Peter Pan!"
Also, Jonathan, everything about this episode tells me what a great parent you are to your kids
I loved this movie as a kid, Hook looks like my grandfather. I love Peter Pan stories and this movie was just so good
I've currently spent this Christmas Weekend in ICU with my Dad. My Dad has always been my favorite person and hero. This movie means so much to me because my Dad would always remind me that I was his happy thought.
Thank you so much guys for doing this one. I've been crying all week, but this cry made me feel honestly so much better. My daddy opened his eyes again yesterday, so that was the only Christmas gift I wanted.
Ps. I'd love to recommend doing I Am Sam at some point 💖.
All the best wishes in the world for your dad's swift and thorough recovery!
Jono's tears got me crying too. I'm close to closing out my 4th decade, and I also see time's scars on my face and know that the parts of me that are gone won't ever be back. When John said he felt that way when looking in the mirror, I felt it with every centimeter of my being.
I've seen this movie multiple times as a kid and teenager when it was on TV but I think I never really understood it, or at least it did not speak to me in a way that it does now - in my mid 20s, at the end of my studies and with moderately severe depressions, "all life beaten out of me", struggling to not only see my illness when I look in the mirror, remembering how I used to be and feel so many years ago when my soul could fly - a time that right now lives only in a memory and that I cannot feel, but I hold onto it because it is what keeps me going: To know that it can and will change. I'm only half way through the episode but it already hit me right in the core and I thank you from the bottom of my heart to not only bring this wonderful movie (that I will watch tonight - for the first time for real!) back into my memory but also for being so open and honest about your feelings, sharing your thoughts and fears. It really helps. Thank you, Cinema Therapy!
After rewatching this I realized my happy thought was the day my niece was born and I really became a grownup after that, which isn't a bad thing. I love being an auntie and my sister's kids adore me, even the step-kids! I never lost touch with my inner child but I also know the responsibilities of adulthood. I think it's that balance of keeping your inner child while facing adulthood that can make a great person and parent.
I never understood the hate Hook got. Like all movies, there are a few plot holes, but all in all it's a solid film with a damn good cast.
Thank you for being vulnerable with us, Jono. I don’t have the privilege of being a parent yet, but as a teacher, this reminder really hits home.
I noticed myself having less patience as we got closer to the Christmas break, but I can see how much my kiddos love being at school when I show up for them and find better outlets for when I’m feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Thank you for the reminder and for all that you do!
I'd love to see an entire video just dedicated to Robin Williams' therapeutic performances. Hook, Good Will Hunting, Dead Poets Society, and World's Greatest Dad all come to mind immediately. That man gave so much to the world, I just wish someone could have helped him the way he helped so many other people. Rest in Peace, Robin.
I made it to 0:46 and was already tearing up. this is one of those movies that mean different as an adult.
Hook has a special place in my heart. It's one of my earliest memories of going to the theatre with my whole family. And I don't think I ever saw my Dad laugh and cry as hard as he did during this movie. Like you guys said as an adult I see this movie in a different light and I got a new understanding of why it meant so much to us.
Big hug Jonathan. I've been there, by sheer sensory overstimulation. I didn't have my ADHD diagnosis yet. Now that I do, I can manage it a bit better. I sometimes snapped, but also chose to withdraw a bit too much, for example take a long bath while the kids watched tv in the morning, multiple times a week when we were in the pandemic. I felt so bad but I really needed it to stay sane. I love love love my kids and would love to be present and in tune with them all the time but I just can't.
But I always explained to them, in kids words without being overly dramatic, what was going on and why I needed some space. And apologised after I snapped. Discussions with my husband that started if the kids were around, were as respectful as possible and resolved as best as we could also with them present so that they could see that you can talk things out and most of the time come out with more clarity and understanding that at the start ❤
But oof, that was very hard work and I limited my job working hours during that time. And I had two kids, not five. Can't imagine how it was like for you with even more pressure than normal in that area. Please don't be too hard on yourself.
I just turned 18 this year. As someone who loved this movie as a kid and has been through a lot, (as everyone has) since then the movie where the kids realize he is Peter Pan hits so hard and breaks me everytime
As a child I felt connected to Robin Williams, and this movie is very close to my heart. I will miss him forever.
Definitely a great sequel to the famous tale, especially with the great late Robin Williams as the titular character. It was my childhood ❤
Peter Pan was my favorite book/story as a child. Even as a kid, I knew childhood wouldn't last forever and I wanted to savor it. It's such an enduring story that speaks fundamental parts of humanity. It can move you at any point in your life. I could talk for hours about Peter Pan.
Also can you imagine how Wendy feels at the beginning of the movie, watching the boy who never wanted to grow up yell at his own children like that. Heart-breaking.
Robin Williams has a hold on my heart so strong that I am always struck with a wave of bittersweet grief that we had him, failed him, and lost him. Probably my favorite of his movies is What Dreams May Come, which I think too few people know and so many more should.
I’ve loved this movie ever since I was a child. Whenever I was sad, I would turn on the flying music and dance around my room. It’s really true how everything that was joyous in childhood is bittersweet now, and how the things we loved as kids change with perspective. But that scene and music still makes my heart soar (and maybe a little sore) and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t cry with Jono
For the longest time, I only heard people deride this movie. I'm so glad that I'm not the only one who loved it. From Robin Williams as Peter to Dustin Hoffman as Hook to Bob Hoskins as Smee. ("What about Smee?") It's all amazing.
Time for a rewatch!
Thank you for this very nostalgic episode. Hook is one of my favorite movies, seen it so many times from age young to adult and it never gets old. #cryingwithjonathan 🙂
I had an hour in between sessions and I'm glad that I used it to watch this. I cried as much as Jono, maybe more, and it has inspired me to be more involved with my children. I lost sight of what was important to me, which ultimately led to my failed marriage and in turn helped me to remember just how important my children are. Hook is a fantastic representation of all things parenting; the good, the bad, and the ugly. I'm so grateful that you made this for the world to see.
Thank you from the deepest places of this therapist's soul, Thank you.
Robin Williams will always be the uncle I always wanted, and I miss him so much. Spielberg and Williams' work are forever special to me. Jurassic Park and Hook are the first movies I have memories of. I tend to watch Hook around Christmas. Thank you for this episode!
Robin Williams died a couple days after my ex-boyfriend died the same way and it was a devastating double wammy lemme tell you
I really want to watch this film with my dad while I'm still visiting
Hook has always been one of my favorite childhood movies. It’s genuinely heartwarming for adults and children, and watching it feels like soup for the soul.