My ex doesn’t want a relationship with his child. I don’t care about the rest of it. It kills me that he doesn’t want to help, and doesn’t bother wanting to spend time with our daughter. It kills me.
@Mariah Fox ignore ignorant comments...don't push it..accept what it is right now..let those angry feelings subside..that comes with time..and in due time maybe things will change if he has grown up to learn to parent well and communicate in a co parenting way with you.
I do everything she has stated but he is Seriously a Narcissist and I Ignore him . I cannot Co-parent because of lies he tried to use in the Court of Law . I won Full Custody ❗❗ The best advice is to keep raising your child and Pray for him ‼ #momtothefullest #blessed #ignorancelooses #believeit
That really gives me some hope bc I'm going through my divorce now and my ex has lied so much it's ridiculous and I have felt like I'm going to lose bc of all of this. I am praying so hard but I cant stand the thought of my kids being raised 100% of the time by someone who is that nasty!!
Serenity when dealing with a narcissist there is no peace. They could harm your child just to get at you. People that have never been with a narcissist know nothing about how to deal with them. There is no simple leave it alone advice when you're dealing with a demon. They are the worst to give advice. The only ones that are qualified to speak on the matter are the ones that have lived through it. I pray all is well with you and I bind up every stronghold the enemy has set up against you through your ex. In Jesus mighty name!!! Amen
I know how you all feel. Some dads will lie to people saying how we not letting them see there kids but ppl don't understand the whole story and how there are good reason behind it. It's not us wanting to keep our kids from them it's good reasons. And its hard to move on right then and there for me because I try and waisted my time showing I do love him and gave us two kids but that didn't change him. I just left and now I pray that he get his life back. My kids need better. If I go back then I don't love my kids enough. Even myself. Me and my kids we good without him. I know and learn the hard way when I ended up in the hospital. I know single moms that's doing so good. I mean so great. Its called having faith in God and everything esle will fall in place. 😘
I agree. My kids father date toxic women. That curses, they physically fight one another. And I chose to keep my children away from that. I have little girls. And if they see their father arguing and fighting another woman. It just leaves trauma in their life.
I don't agree because my mom did all of this and we blamed her for so much, blamed ourselves because a conversation was never had and when we turned adults and allowed our dead beat narcissistic Father in our lives only for him to break our hearts again.
I agree! SAME. I was so upset with my mom continuing to allow me to be hurt by my dad. It was irresponsible. Even HIS mother tried to warn me and cautioned my mom about him. Society has got to stop taking up for these deadbeat, toxic parents. Then looking around all confused about why the kids grow up to be emotionally scarred.
Healing thy self is crucial in this instance! I speak from my own experience when I say you must acknowledge the fact that you chose this person,take the focus off of them& focus on your healing so that you don't speak from a broken place about the Father to your children, pray,pray some more,focusing the purpose that God has for your life & press forward!!!! I am a living witness,that God can do the miraculous!!!!
I do not agree with this advice.. if the ex is dangerous and would hurt the child, do be honest about the situation when the time is right for the child to know
He needs to stop worrying about what I am doing. I am focused. He is a narcissist,period. I ignore and will allow the judge to see him for whatever he is. Some (54yrold) Men act scorned also.....#serenity
I came to terms along time ago. To lean and trust on the Lord! It does work. Also, that we are parents first so the other things don’t matter. Being positive and showing ways to communicate as well as doing what’s peaceful and right in front of the children plus for my well being is so important. No arguments and petty behavior no drama so important. Be healthy, happy and continue my faith. Be my best regardless….
That advice only work if you && the child's father is on the same page far as parenting. He's morally intact, you both taking disciplinary action, he's providing&& protecting, etc BUT if you are NOT trying to be a nosy scornful petty bm, BUT something isnt right put on your coat, Sherlock it's time to investigate🔎..Usually when something doesn't feel right it isnt.
I've been holding my tongue for the past two years since it is the one and only way I have been able to deal with a terrible co-parenting situation. No matter how he behaves as a parent, giving your ex and/or children's father your negative focus-or any attention at all-does nothing to improve the situation. Giving zero energy is far superior to returning negative energy to someone. Since becoming a single mother two years ago, I've gone through a lot-I have four children and had three of them in two years-but things do get better.
Sadly, at 8 my daughter figured out how her dad was. He is raising two step children and favors her half sister who lives in another state. All of which are light skinned. He barely deals with my daughter. It's for the most twisted reason you can imagine. It's because my daughter is dark JUST LIKE HIM! I don't realize he was weird until it was too late and we were already married and I was 4 months pregnant. When she was born him and his VERY dark family said things like "I thought she was gonna be light like you" and "she's dark she took after her daddy". Right then I know something was off and it was time for me to divorce him. Glad I did. She told me how he pins her hair back in pictures (she was born with long really golden brown big fluffy hair) so she doesn't "stand out" in pictures, how he makes her and his musically videos private but not the other kids, never let's her sit in the front seat like the other kids let all the kids help frost the cake, all types of weird things. He's also trying to get custody of her half sister who is very light because he knows "one day she'll be a star", but only sees my daughter 3 times a year. She's a quite and very sweet girl! I truly hate this man and wanted to shelter my daughter but I knew I had to let him show her who he was. Now I'm picking up my daughter's broken heart, but I KNOW she'll be alright!
I know how u feel I'm a single mom I have a 3yr old son who'll be 4 in 2 days his father who I was in a relationship for 4yrs he was cheating on me and physically verbally mentally abusive to me then conflict between him and my mother but I blame myself for running off with him I had a stressful pregnancy I thought that I was going to lose my son but I'm glad that he was healthy just last year I asked him to spend time with my son he kept popping up in the middle of nowhere last time he saw him was last year in September but recently his brother who saved my life and my son's life was just murdered about a month ago he's been popping up my son keep saying I want my daddy every time I hear him say that I cry I keep praying that God sees me through this
I would say that this is some excellent advice. I have learned a long time ago to set in my mind that my child will design their own feelings on their connection with their father. It is not my duty to create a belief for my child. I guide, teach and love.🥰
😂😂 Terrible advice. Basically wait for the father to hurt your children and damage them emotionally through abandonment and constant criticism and just be there to pick up the pieces 😂😂😂 goodness me
True why even put ur beautiful baby though a second alone with someone u dislike there's billions of humans why waste your time showing ur baby a coward who's mentally doranged
these days people break up for any reason, then the children suffer. seek spiritual help before leaving. many folks get married at churches but noticed the divorces are done in court. think about that. hummmm...
Good point! I really wish the church leaders would be more involved in divorces, even granting divorces like in the old days. If so, church leaders would automatically become more educated and competent at dealing effectively with all forms of domestic violence, including child abuse. If the leaders understood these things better, they could help catch it early and prevent a lot of unnecessary damage in families. When church leaders are so removed from understanding family dynamics that family members end up dead trying to save the marriage, something's out of whack. Church leaders have the power to save lives, physically and spiritually.
Prayer is the best thing that can give you wisdoms. I've been a separated for over 3 years and legally divorce my ex husband tried to make me jealous I've didn't focus instead I've moved far away from where he lives .I mind my own business and only focus on my kids .He is the one who became so bitter calling me in court because I refused to go back to him .Focus on you, develop healthy relationships with God and others .
I regret mistreating my gf a mother of two. The moment I decide I want her in my life she chooses his long term relationship considering the guy is stable
i can go on talking about this subject!! it is hard to bite your tong but it is a must, i love what Lyanla's is saying in this interview and im 100% behind everything she is syaing but i just wanted to add that sometimes it is hard to apply this to our reality. In my You Tube channel i have discuus the stragles that i have being a single mom plus being a college student it is hard, and without the suppport of this second figure things makes then even harder, not to mention that im leaving away from my familly ..... but each time i come up with a better way or trick of surviving
Hell no if I found out his Father is a narrcist then guess what he has no relationship. You protect your children a narrcist is not a parent. Please don't stand back step in and separate!!!!!
You can’t even spell narcissist correctly. What medical examination did you conduct on the father to make that diagnoses? What are your qualifications?
Single mothers want their daughters also be single with a kid or two. That way they are not alone.. they do the same with their sons too.. its sad.. this is is a predominant behaviour pattern in black community which I belong too unfortunately
When I got pregnant at 22 and told my mother, I was psychologically manipulated by her to have my baby. She said she regretted her abortions and would never forgive herself for them. So, what did I do out of fear and shame?...Sinister stuff we're dealing with in this so-called community.
I am an expecting single parent. I just don't think my child would be safe. He's been physically violent towards me, his brother is violent towards his wife and children, and their mother blatantly supports all of their behavior. I couldn't fathom leaving my baby alone with them.
What is the advice when the mother went through domestic violence even while being pregnant. And there were situation when the unborn child and a baby were in danger?
Wow I heard so many great things about ms.fixmylife. I'm so disappointed. This video is quiet targeted to as specfic group of maybe anger maybe ignorant women. Was NOT very helpful for the women idk that are actual single moms NOT WORRIED about men but the time in which they themselves as mothers are spending their time and if they are guiding their children in the right direction....were standing here still quiet lost. I know I'm standing here scratching my head like um. What did that video have to do with single mother.
Lindsey Atmore yeah, it seems like she was trying to give advice to women trying to keep kids away from loving father more than giving advice to women with no help from unreliable father that shows no interest in child
***** so what is the point for u to post this if we wont be able to see rthe full epiosode.. thats weird.. this is teh first time i hear i cant see the full episode of a tv show.. but anyways im not interested to see 3 minutes of each episode.. thank u anyways
I'm sorry bt this is not the advice I was looking for. Not sure why this video is focusing so much on the ex and relationship problems.. like that's the only problem we have. Lol relationships dating and the absent parent are the least of my worries
My ex has a bond with his child. But he doesn’t do anything. He doesn’t provide for her or help to provide for her. So would I be wrong, stopping him from coming around? I feel somewhat safe with my daughter being around her father, because of his past. I don’t know what to believe and what not to believe. So I worry sometimes, he lies about a lot. That makes trusting extremely hard, especially. With me being a first time mom. I carry ALL of the weight, and when I ask him for help. He has to make it about him. In my eyes, he doesn’t want to be a father. That’s why he only comes around 1 or twice a month.
This is good information, but it’s also preemptive. A deeper conversation should be had about women who’ve already been through abuse or negativity that their children may have already seen. Advice on what to do after the fact, would be a useful convo. The amount of damage control and repair that single mothers are left with, is a huge issue.
End now! i finnaly made it. i let him go away even thou i have to handle and look after his boy by my self im not scare ! i let my self stand. its better alone then live with someone who did violence who mistreated to my own son. Its a nightmare just happen. now i have to stand by my self but i start see the 🌞 again that i been missing for so long. Thank u struggled bc of u i build my strong now.
all of you who let your children be near anyone who isn't 100% mentally physically and emotionally ok have all not learnt how to be a good parent do you think all property children around mentally narcissistic human beings no over as child will be with a very very expensive caregiver someone who is mentally physically and emotionally well so why don't you put yourself in her shoes and look after your children the way she does stop looking around for men stop looking around for people to abuse your child and any sort of way and put all your person into your son and daughter look after them that's why you had a child in the first place and children are blessings so why give a blessing to someone who doesn't deserve it
Girl. I just had a case against my ex who had six different personality disorder diagnoses and they tell me to keep thinking in possibilities because my child has the right to know it's father. So one day he will be walking out this house with my daughter like he once did with his other older two daughters, who are now afraid of him and don't want to see him. As a mother you really don't have that much rights anymore because there are so many women who keep the children away out of anger. When it's a dangerous case like this one, you will not be heard.
I don't know how to ask I have and ...i know my kids deserve a perfect father but unfortunately I'm me but I'm doing my best and just because it's not perfect doesn't mean ...but I hope one day y'all see no matter what i do my best
What about if the other parent abuses the children? Do you still tell the children that he loves them and keep ypur opinions to yourself and continue to hand the children over on a silver platter?
What do you do when the dad and step dad yell alot? When my kids are with their dad, I worry about the fighting. I hate that my kids get yelled at. Sometimes, my kids hear bad things said about me.
My advice to all single mom's is stop being selfish and stop putting a man ahead of yo kids. And stop sleeping around. Have some respect for yourselves and if y'all do so maybe men will have more respect for you.
No thanks , I think if a guy is dump enough to leave say buy buy fully and more on clean out the dirt from your life Leaving the full of him out your life start fresh
I'm trying to see my kids I never give up unfortunately I hurt y'all and y'all hold that against me but our kids suffer for our actions it takes mature parents to get along
I wish I would have seen this before I met my 4year boyfriend smh I have girls and I allow them to be around my toxic relationship they seen me get beat by him called ugly names and now I'm having his baby I'm so scared what I installed in them they will allow a man to do the same I can't say love made me do cuz then I feel like I choose him over them
It's not really her job to yell at women, I hate when women are cruel to other women because we as women know what it's like to feel emotions. Thanks iyanla but I will pass
Crave88evarC What the heck, why would you tell a woman why she kept her child after rape. Have you learned nothing in life. It was her choice to bear the burden of the child. It was not her fault she was raped. But nether she or you can incriminate the child for the sin of the father. You ought to be ashamed you ever said that and you should apologize to her now -- ASAP!
Question is: How did you handle the rape? Did you seek help and tell anyone? or Did you lie to cover it up? That is the best way to knowing when and how to start the conversation with your son. It is important to be secure in the moment you answer the questions -- to make sure everything you went through is not present and still holding you back today. You showed unconditional love by not blaming your child for how he was conceived. You son is innocent and forgiveness is not given to your son but the man that raped you. Another question: Do you know who the man that raped you is or have you ever known him? This is important because this is part of the work you need to do to heal your past so that your son knows who he is and why it is that does not know his father. This is why the first question is important -- he will want to know what you did to fix the injustice done to you. The most important question: What image do you give to your son when you are home with him? Knowing that his father raped you, what kind relationship do you have with your son -- despite all that mess of the past? Like most son-mother relationships, the mother wants the son to be independent, strong, and caring as man should be. A son wants his mother to be independent, strong, and caring as woman should be. Each wants the same for the other but in different perspectives. If you ask him what he wants for his mother he will likely say emotional things like: proudness, always secure, supportive, loving (most times of self or willing to love someone else), happy, positive, upbeat... All the things that lets him know you are ok. The image of womanhood is first experienced through the relationship a son has with his mother. A woman can not teach a boy how to be a man but she can show him how a man should treat a woman.
Crave88evarC Are you a man or woman? I need to redirect. I assumed you asked why did she have it. Abortion is not a cure, it is not a procedure that eradicates guilt or shame, it will not evoke freedom from burden. I see now that I may have taken you out of context. Yes, she could have offered her son up for adoption but her reasons do not deserve an explanation to strangers. But I do still think you are out of line.
Kings County Kid Worry about what YOU need to take accountability for. Riddle me this (I'm assuming you're not a single mother) why watch this video if it dont have anything to do with you?🤔 Dont look at someone else problem, evaluate your problem && seek after a solution!.
How do you deal with a father that doesn't want his kids but ask you to bring them and when you show up he and his girlfriend and the girlfriend daughter try to set you up to go to the the police office told me they are trying to set u up just stay dont talk to him and stay away from him because they are trying to get you arrested and told me I would lose my children. How do you deal with that?
It's not all advice you should take. If it doesn't apply to you, please pass. I have a child who I have been taking care of since he was born and have been fully responsible for his finances. His dad doesn't want to put in any work and believes he can see his child when it's convenient for him. That won't work. Get a restraining order. If the relationship is toxic to your kids, cut it off from the source.
Why? Because at the start I fall for him and he was nice wanted marriage and family till I got pregnant then I found out everything of his lies and cheating and now suffer of this bad mistake I make ! If I knew better I wouldn’t be with him trust me
Every woman in the comment and others like this state “ He is a Narcissist “ None of them speak about THEIR role in the relationship that would have led a man to not want to marry them or stay with them after having a child with them.
@@shanniwils852 for these woman in single mother bandwagon, the man is good until getting pregnant and get a child. Then, they have no problem of abusing the child with parental alienation and claiming all sorts of social benefits trying to win sympathy. Even animals in jungle who raise the cubs with the corporation with both mother and father figure for the benefits of the cubs are much better than modern single mothers. Only single mothers we respect are widows or with husbands with serious drug or drink problem. But, we have no respect for the child abusing single mothers who are there only for their own selfishness to take advantage of the system.
Single mother’s were our first abusers. Their selfish lack of accountability and apathy to boundaries is what sets us all up for failure, mental health, Financial irresponsibility, sexual recklessness, prison , poor education, generational poverty etc.
Women fling the word “ Narcissist “ with wanton abandon to slander men they disapprove of for whatever reason and to avoid accountability. No mention of the role of borderline personality disorder and co dependency and abandonment trauma which affects the greater multitude of black women and which in turn leads to toxic relationships.
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
"DONT WORRY ABOUT WHAT YOU DONT WANT, BEGIN TO AFFIRM AND DEMONSTRATE WHAT YOU DO WANT"---TALK ABOUT THE LAW OF ATTRACTION!!!
single mothers are a biblical plague - Jesus
My ex doesn’t want a relationship with his child. I don’t care about the rest of it. It kills me that he doesn’t want to help, and doesn’t bother wanting to spend time with our daughter. It kills me.
Make better decisions
I’m so sorry to hear girl 🥺😔 praying for you and your child 🤞🏽 you got this mama!
Stop having kids with dude's. Who don't take care of there kids
@Mariah Fox and now who ever gets her next has to deal with her mistake no thanks
@Mariah Fox ignore ignorant comments...don't push it..accept what it is right now..let those angry feelings subside..that comes with time..and in due time maybe things will change if he has grown up to learn to parent well and communicate in a co parenting way with you.
I do everything she has stated but he is Seriously a Narcissist and I Ignore him . I cannot Co-parent because of lies he tried to use in the Court of Law . I won Full Custody ❗❗ The best advice is to keep raising your child and Pray for him ‼ #momtothefullest #blessed #ignorancelooses #believeit
That really gives me some hope bc I'm going through my divorce now and my ex has lied so much it's ridiculous and I have felt like I'm going to lose bc of all of this. I am praying so hard but I cant stand the thought of my kids being raised 100% of the time by someone who is that nasty!!
Serenity when dealing with a narcissist there is no peace. They could harm your child just to get at you. People that have never been with a narcissist know nothing about how to deal with them. There is no simple leave it alone advice when you're dealing with a demon. They are the worst to give advice. The only ones that are qualified to speak on the matter are the ones that have lived through it. I pray all is well with you and I bind up every stronghold the enemy has set up against you through your ex. In Jesus mighty name!!! Amen
Give it 2 god i hated my ex 15 long years .itvwas my pain..i gave it 2 god i was done with it
I know how you all feel. Some dads will lie to people saying how we not letting them see there kids but ppl don't understand the whole story and how there are good reason behind it. It's not us wanting to keep our kids from them it's good reasons. And its hard to move on right then and there for me because I try and waisted my time showing I do love him and gave us two kids but that didn't change him. I just left and now I pray that he get his life back. My kids need better. If I go back then I don't love my kids enough. Even myself. Me and my kids we good without him. I know and learn the hard way when I ended up in the hospital. I know single moms that's doing so good. I mean so great. Its called having faith in God and everything esle will fall in place. 😘
Exactly
I agree , I don't worry anymore bout my ex relationship wit our son. He's 17 and now he see how his father is and kind of person he is.
don't allow him to be apart of their life if they are very toxic. set the boundaries and let it go. it's tough i am going through this now
I agree. My kids father date toxic women. That curses, they physically fight one another. And I chose to keep my children away from that. I have little girls. And if they see their father arguing and fighting another woman. It just leaves trauma in their life.
So harm the child by not allowing him/her time with the father....yup. Typical single moms lol wanna control everything at the detriment of the child
Being a single mom and struggling I pray things get better
same here
+PC same here 7 yrs a one year old and a child on the way and he decides to leave it hurts it's only been a month but I trying TO cope
Mia Charles who chose that man???? YOU DID!
It will luv just keep pushing forward
U prayed enough when u were on ur back lol (o god oh God oh GOD!!! Yes!!!) lol
Today is Sunday May the 13th 2018. And I would like to say happy Father's day to all the single dads doing it all by yourself.
I don't agree because my mom did all of this and we blamed her for so much, blamed ourselves because a conversation was never had and when we turned adults and allowed our dead beat narcissistic Father in our lives only for him to break our hearts again.
You blamed your mother and allowed your father to turn back on your lives again? Well you deserve to be broken
Dont worry you'll continue the cycle and create the same men yall complain about.
You can give warnings without diminishing the father.
I agree! SAME. I was so upset with my mom continuing to allow me to be hurt by my dad. It was irresponsible. Even HIS mother tried to warn me and cautioned my mom about him. Society has got to stop taking up for these deadbeat, toxic parents. Then looking around all confused about why the kids grow up to be emotionally scarred.
Healing thy self is crucial in this instance! I speak from my own experience when I say you must acknowledge the fact that you chose this person,take the focus off of
them& focus on your healing so that you don't speak from a broken place about the Father to your children, pray,pray some more,focusing the purpose that God has for your life & press forward!!!! I am a living witness,that God can do the miraculous!!!!
Well said sis❤️💯
What do chose a deceiver and an abuser?
Pro tip: As long as you know your child is safe with them and he is doing right by them, mind your business
I do not agree with this advice.. if the ex is dangerous and would hurt the child, do be honest about the situation when the time is right for the child to know
She did state that
He needs to stop worrying about what I am doing. I am focused. He is a narcissist,period. I ignore and will allow the judge to see him for whatever he is. Some (54yrold) Men act scorned also.....#serenity
I came to terms along time ago. To lean and trust on the Lord! It does work. Also, that we are parents first so the other things don’t matter. Being positive and showing ways to communicate as well as doing what’s peaceful and right in front of the children plus for my well being is so important. No arguments and petty behavior no drama so important. Be healthy, happy and continue my faith. Be my best regardless….
That advice only work if you && the child's father is on the same page far as parenting. He's morally intact, you both taking disciplinary action, he's providing&& protecting, etc BUT if you are NOT trying to be a nosy scornful petty bm, BUT something isnt right put on your coat, Sherlock it's time to investigate🔎..Usually when something doesn't feel right it isnt.
I've been holding my tongue for the past two years since it is the one and only way I have been able to deal with a terrible co-parenting situation. No matter how he behaves as a parent, giving your ex and/or children's father your negative focus-or any attention at all-does nothing to improve the situation. Giving zero energy is far superior to returning negative energy to someone. Since becoming a single mother two years ago, I've gone through a lot-I have four children and had three of them in two years-but things do get better.
Sadly, at 8 my daughter figured out how her dad was. He is raising two step children and favors her half sister who lives in another state. All of which are light skinned. He barely deals with my daughter. It's for the most twisted reason you can imagine. It's because my daughter is dark JUST LIKE HIM! I don't realize he was weird until it was too late and we were already married and I was 4 months pregnant. When she was born him and his VERY dark family said things like "I thought she was gonna be light like you" and "she's dark she took after her daddy". Right then I know something was off and it was time for me to divorce him. Glad I did.
She told me how he pins her hair back in pictures (she was born with long really golden brown big fluffy hair) so she doesn't "stand out" in pictures, how he makes her and his musically videos private but not the other kids, never let's her sit in the front seat like the other kids let all the kids help frost the cake, all types of weird things. He's also trying to get custody of her half sister who is very light because he knows "one day she'll be a star", but only sees my daughter 3 times a year. She's a quite and very sweet girl! I truly hate this man and wanted to shelter my daughter but I knew I had to let him show her who he was. Now I'm picking up my daughter's broken heart, but I KNOW she'll be alright!
StylistNtraining Great parenting on your part 👍🏾 you put your child before your feelings of him. I respect that!
StylistNtraining wow shame on him. Your daughter will be great
I know how u feel I'm a single mom I have a 3yr old son who'll be 4 in 2 days his father who I was in a relationship for 4yrs he was cheating on me and physically verbally mentally abusive to me then conflict between him and my mother but I blame myself for running off with him I had a stressful pregnancy I thought that I was going to lose my son but I'm glad that he was healthy just last year I asked him to spend time with my son he kept popping up in the middle of nowhere last time he saw him was last year in September but recently his brother who saved my life and my son's life was just murdered about a month ago he's been popping up my son keep saying I want my daddy every time I hear him say that I cry I keep praying that God sees me through this
omg he is a monster
single mothers are a biblical plague - Jesus
I would say that this is some excellent advice. I have learned a long time ago to set in my mind that my child will design their own feelings on their connection with their father. It is not my duty to create a belief for my child. I guide, teach and love.🥰
😂😂 Terrible advice. Basically wait for the father to hurt your children and damage them emotionally through abandonment and constant criticism and just be there to pick up the pieces 😂😂😂 goodness me
Ms Qt cute the first requirement was make sure the child is safe 🙄
Michelle F Exactly. If you feel the child is in danger, call Child Protective Services.
True why even put ur beautiful baby though a second alone with someone u dislike there's billions of humans why waste your time showing ur baby a coward who's mentally doranged
Ms Qt cute yea I don't really like her advise
Mothers are the #1 abusers and allowers of abuse of Children.
I need more of this. I really do. Please make these types of videos longer. this was to short. Thx
Great advice Iyanla! Hold your peace does work quite effectively. No drama
these days people break up for any reason, then the children suffer. seek spiritual help before leaving. many folks get married at churches but noticed the divorces are done in court. think about that. hummmm...
Good point! I really wish the church leaders would be more involved in divorces, even granting divorces like in the old days. If so, church leaders would automatically become more educated and competent at dealing effectively with all forms of domestic violence, including child abuse. If the leaders understood these things better, they could help catch it early and prevent a lot of unnecessary damage in families. When church leaders are so removed from understanding family dynamics that family members end up dead trying to save the marriage, something's out of whack. Church leaders have the power to save lives, physically and spiritually.
They just accuse the man of being “ Toxic” with no further explanations or context and thus avoiding any accountability.
Prayer is the best thing that can give you wisdoms. I've been a separated for over 3 years and legally divorce my ex husband tried to make me jealous I've didn't focus instead I've moved far away from where he lives .I mind my own business and only focus on my kids .He is the one who became so bitter calling me in court because I refused to go back to him .Focus on you, develop healthy relationships with God and others .
I regret mistreating my gf a mother of two. The moment I decide I want her in my life she chooses his long term relationship considering the guy is stable
Amazing advice - difficult to follow because we don’t get the same consideration, but if we love our kids her advice is the way to go
i can go on talking about this subject!! it is hard to bite your tong but it is a must, i love what Lyanla's is saying in this interview and im 100% behind everything she is syaing but i just wanted to add that sometimes it is hard to apply this to our reality. In my You Tube channel i have discuus the stragles that i have being a single mom plus being a college student it is hard, and without the suppport of this second figure things makes then even harder, not to mention that im leaving away from my familly ..... but each time i come up with a better way or trick of surviving
Exacty!
" love yourself enough not to let it happen."
Good thoughts, especially about "biting your tongue."
Lol please, majority of these single moms ARE NOT over their ex.
Hell no if I found out his Father is a narrcist then guess what he has no relationship. You protect your children a narrcist is not a parent. Please don't stand back step in and separate!!!!!
You can’t even spell narcissist correctly. What medical examination did you conduct on the father to make that diagnoses? What are your qualifications?
I wonder how many mothers feel that their child is safe with a narcissist father
What are your medical qualifications to diagnose anyone as narcissistic?
Single mothers want their daughters also be single with a kid or two. That way they are not alone.. they do the same with their sons too.. its sad.. this is is a predominant behaviour pattern in black community which I belong too unfortunately
When I got pregnant at 22 and told my mother, I was psychologically manipulated by her to have my baby. She said she regretted her abortions and would never forgive herself for them. So, what did I do out of fear and shame?...Sinister stuff we're dealing with in this so-called community.
100%.
I hope you all have a special like this for Fathers Day...some of these mothers out here are worthless.
I am an expecting single parent. I just don't think my child would be safe. He's been physically violent towards me, his brother is violent towards his wife and children, and their mother blatantly supports all of their behavior. I couldn't fathom leaving my baby alone with them.
A man is who his FATHER makes him NOT his mother
Great advice!
but what if his attitud is toxic for the children ??
What is the advice when the mother went through domestic violence even while being pregnant. And there were situation when the unborn child and a baby were in danger?
Stay away.
This is gold!
I love love love the advice given
Great Advice! 💖
Love this!
Chose better moms it's for your own sanity peace and mental health be happy
Wow I heard so many great things about ms.fixmylife. I'm so disappointed. This video is quiet targeted to as specfic group of maybe anger maybe ignorant women. Was NOT very helpful for the women idk that are actual single moms NOT WORRIED about men but the time in which they themselves as mothers are spending their time and if they are guiding their children in the right direction....were standing here still quiet lost. I know I'm standing here scratching my head like um. What did that video have to do with single mother.
Lindsey Atmore yeah, it seems like she was trying to give advice to women trying to keep kids away from loving father more than giving advice to women with no help from unreliable father that shows no interest in child
Good advice.
where can i get the full episode of this ?? just 3 minutes is nothing
*****
so what is the point for u to post this if we wont be able to see rthe full epiosode.. thats weird.. this is teh first time i hear i cant see the full episode of a tv show.. but anyways im not interested to see 3 minutes of each episode.. thank u anyways
I'm sorry bt this is not the advice I was looking for. Not sure why this video is focusing so much on the ex and relationship problems.. like that's the only problem we have. Lol relationships dating and the absent parent are the least of my worries
My ex has a bond with his child. But he doesn’t do anything. He doesn’t provide for her or help to provide for her. So would I be wrong, stopping him from coming around? I feel somewhat safe with my daughter being around her father, because of his past. I don’t know what to believe and what not to believe. So I worry sometimes, he lies about a lot. That makes trusting extremely hard, especially. With me being a first time mom. I carry ALL of the weight, and when I ask him for help. He has to make it about him. In my eyes, he doesn’t want to be a father. That’s why he only comes around 1 or twice a month.
This is good information, but it’s also preemptive. A deeper conversation should be had about women who’ve already been through abuse or negativity that their children may have already seen. Advice on what to do after the fact, would be a useful convo. The amount of damage control and repair that single mothers are left with, is a huge issue.
End now! i finnaly made it. i let him go away even thou i have to handle and look after his boy by my self im not scare ! i let my self stand. its better alone then live with someone who did violence who mistreated to my own son. Its a nightmare just happen. now i have to stand by my self but i start see the 🌞 again that i been missing for so long. Thank u struggled bc of u i build my strong now.
Googles: how do I learn to bite my tongue
all of you who let your children be near anyone who isn't 100% mentally physically and emotionally ok have all not learnt how to be a good parent do you think all property children around mentally narcissistic human beings no over as child will be with a very very expensive caregiver someone who is mentally physically and emotionally well so why don't you put yourself in her shoes and look after your children the way she does stop looking around for men stop looking around for people to abuse your child and any sort of way and put all your person into your son and daughter look after them that's why you had a child in the first place and children are blessings so why give a blessing to someone who doesn't deserve it
Girl. I just had a case against my ex who had six different personality disorder diagnoses and they tell me to keep thinking in possibilities because my child has the right to know it's father. So one day he will be walking out this house with my daughter like he once did with his other older two daughters, who are now afraid of him and don't want to see him. As a mother you really don't have that much rights anymore because there are so many women who keep the children away out of anger. When it's a dangerous case like this one, you will not be heard.
I don't know how to ask I have and ...i know my kids deserve a perfect father but unfortunately I'm me but I'm doing my best and just because it's not perfect doesn't mean ...but I hope one day y'all see no matter what i do my best
What about if the other parent abuses the children? Do you still tell the children that he loves them and keep ypur opinions to yourself and continue to hand the children over on a silver platter?
What do you do when the dad and step dad yell alot? When my kids are with their dad, I worry about the fighting. I hate that my kids get yelled at. Sometimes, my kids hear bad things said about me.
You already knew it was bad over there before you ALL made a baby
My advice to all single mom's is stop being selfish and stop putting a man ahead of yo kids. And stop sleeping around. Have some respect for yourselves and if y'all do so maybe men will have more respect for you.
That maybe true but what about the MEN. Both women and men share responsibility and need to respect each other.
Yee
Loooooved that!
I love you Oprah
No thanks , I think if a guy is dump enough to leave say buy buy fully and more on clean out the dirt from your life
Leaving the full of him out your life start fresh
just because a man leaves a woman doesnt mean he'll leave his children
@@CephlonMayngrum the father of my child leave me and my child
Great insights
Preach
I'm trying to see my kids I never give up unfortunately I hurt y'all and y'all hold that against me but our kids suffer for our actions it takes mature parents to get along
This is wonderful! Thank you for this :-)
I wish I would have seen this before I met my 4year boyfriend smh I have girls and I allow them to be around my toxic relationship they seen me get beat by him called ugly names and now I'm having his baby I'm so scared what I installed in them they will allow a man to do the same I can't say love made me do cuz then I feel like I choose him over them
Malissa Baldwin focus on yourself and the children. They may have seen what you picked, but they can see you leave.
So basically you have made multiple bad decisions.
I have to learn how to be a good example, Lord Jesus help me how to be the best example
Wow... I can't believe some of things written here by men.
Follow @motivatemoma
Family is worthless I swear. Homes are breaking up, families are breaking up etc
Praying
It's not really her job to yell at women, I hate when women are cruel to other women because we as women know what it's like to feel emotions. Thanks iyanla but I will pass
Okay
Best advice for single women - DON'T be a single mother
My son is a product of rape so my question is what do I tell him when he ask about his father
Why the hell did you keep him?
Crave88evarC What the heck, why would you tell a woman why she kept her child after rape. Have you learned nothing in life. It was her choice to bear the burden of the child. It was not her fault she was raped. But nether she or you can incriminate the child for the sin of the father. You ought to be ashamed you ever said that and you should apologize to her now -- ASAP!
Lamar Dorsey Its insane to keep a child that came from an rape occurance. Are you for real? Please.
Question is: How did you handle the rape? Did you seek help and tell anyone? or Did you lie to cover it up? That is the best way to knowing when and how to start the conversation with your son. It is important to be secure in the moment you answer the questions -- to make sure everything you went through is not present and still holding you back today. You showed unconditional love by not blaming your child for how he was conceived. You son is innocent and forgiveness is not given to your son but the man that raped you. Another question: Do you know who the man that raped you is or have you ever known him? This is important because this is part of the work you need to do to heal your past so that your son knows who he is and why it is that does not know his father. This is why the first question is important -- he will want to know what you did to fix the injustice done to you. The most important question: What image do you give to your son when you are home with him? Knowing that his father raped you, what kind relationship do you have with your son -- despite all that mess of the past? Like most son-mother relationships, the mother wants the son to be independent, strong, and caring as man should be. A son wants his mother to be independent, strong, and caring as woman should be. Each wants the same for the other but in different perspectives. If you ask him what he wants for his mother he will likely say emotional things like: proudness, always secure, supportive, loving (most times of self or willing to love someone else), happy, positive, upbeat... All the things that lets him know you are ok. The image of womanhood is first experienced through the relationship a son has with his mother. A woman can not teach a boy how to be a man but she can show him how a man should treat a woman.
Crave88evarC Are you a man or woman? I need to redirect. I assumed you asked why did she have it. Abortion is not a cure, it is not a procedure that eradicates guilt or shame, it will not evoke freedom from burden. I see now that I may have taken you out of context. Yes, she could have offered her son up for adoption but her reasons do not deserve an explanation to strangers. But I do still think you are out of line.
Still no accountability on the mother's part. Why are they choosing to date worthless men in first place?
This is advice for single mothers! Not perspective mothers. The kids are already here
Still no accountability on the father’s part. Why are they choosing to have children in the first place?
Kings County Kid Worry about what YOU need to take accountability for. Riddle me this (I'm assuming you're not a single mother) why watch this video if it dont have anything to do with you?🤔 Dont look at someone else problem, evaluate your problem && seek after a solution!.
@@bigtash869 the men she chooses to date after the child is here... They affect the child too.
@@shannonjohnson4314 fathers don't choose to have children mothers do. If it was the Father's choice half of these children wouldn't be here.
Is not easy😕
I cannot relate to this advice
Please please stop having all these kids.
How do you deal with a father that doesn't want his kids but ask you to bring them and when you show up he and his girlfriend and the girlfriend daughter try to set you up to go to the the police office told me they are trying to set u up just stay dont talk to him and stay away from him because they are trying to get you arrested and told me I would lose my children. How do you deal with that?
It's not all advice you should take. If it doesn't apply to you, please pass. I have a child who I have been taking care of since he was born and have been fully responsible for his finances. His dad doesn't want to put in any work and believes he can see his child when it's convenient for him. That won't work. Get a restraining order. If the relationship is toxic to your kids, cut it off from the source.
Chioma Ebe agree!
Stay away from him. Time to build yourself up and start all over… simply ignore him at all costs…
It is very sadening to see how these womens trying to do men's role
Wow
Loooooove! :)
♥️ lyanla
You still like bad boys ?
You can also check this video for parenting support. I have checked Dr. Porter videos at ua-cam.com/video/5zFVPA706Po/v-deo.html
She don't know what she is talking about.
72%
He left me with a kid never cared about a kid
He’s a narcissistic he almost killed me
Why? Because at the start I fall for him and he was nice wanted marriage and family till I got pregnant then I found out everything of his lies and cheating and now suffer of this bad mistake I make ! If I knew better I wouldn’t be with him trust me
Every woman in the comment and others like this state “ He is a Narcissist “
None of them speak about THEIR role in the relationship that would have led a man to not want to marry them or stay with them after having a child with them.
How do you know these women aren’t leaving the men
Why not ask her to get a good look at why she is single
Yall act like being single is a crime? Everybody don’t desire a man
@@shanniwils852 for these woman in single mother bandwagon, the man is good until getting pregnant and get a child. Then, they have no problem of abusing the child with parental alienation and claiming all sorts of social benefits trying to win sympathy. Even animals in jungle who raise the cubs with the corporation with both mother and father figure for the benefits of the cubs are much better than modern single mothers. Only single mothers we respect are widows or with husbands with serious drug or drink problem. But, we have no respect for the child abusing single mothers who are there only for their own selfishness to take advantage of the system.
Single mother’s were our first abusers. Their selfish lack of accountability and apathy to boundaries is what sets us all up for failure, mental health, Financial irresponsibility, sexual recklessness, prison , poor education, generational poverty etc.
Women fling the word “ Narcissist “ with wanton abandon to slander men they disapprove of for whatever reason and to avoid accountability.
No mention of the role of borderline personality disorder and co dependency and abandonment trauma which affects the greater multitude of black women and which in turn leads to toxic relationships.
dating single mom is like spend money on last week newspaper invest worthless penny stock and playing some saved game (ps4)
love this!