Giving you kid’s parties, handy husbands, and awkward silences | Episode 54 | Give It To Me Straight
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- Опубліковано 7 сер 2024
- Do you think all men should know how to fix things around the house? If so, Jon better get to learning. In this week’s episode, Alex and Jon discuss handy men, attending children’s parties, and how to handle awkward silences with your partner. Alex and Jon live, work, and are now having a baby together so the conversations are endless…poor Jon.
0:00 - Intro
16:08 - Smile, You’re On Camera!
18:18 - Awkward Silences With Your Partner
21:22 - I’m Drifting From My Best Friend
25:16 - Do I Tell His Ex to GTFO?
28:29 - Spell My Name Right!
33:15 - It’s Over! Give Me The Ring!
37:59 - Did I Go To The Right Person?
41:01 - I’m Not Attending Your Child’s Party
44:56 - I Want My Wedding Photos Now!
50:17 - My Husband Isn’t Handy
54:38 - Reading Your Secrets
55:20 - Listener Review
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Visit our other website www.alexjon.com - Комедії
Jon the guy who gets frustrated at Disney and Costco wants a camera crew to follow him around everywhere he goes 😅
Make it make sense
Lolol I know I heard that was cracking up. 🤣
To the girl whose bf records her during a fight, if you’re reading this. Girl, leave him. I know it sounds bad to leave a guy after 5 yrs of relationship but imagine that this person chooses to record you when you’re in distress. That’s absolutely NOT LOVE. Would you like it if you had kids and he did that in front of them or worse, TO THEM. He’s the narcissist people are warning us about. I too ended a 3 yr relationship and the signs were the same. Every response was anything but love from him. Cry for a year but save the rest of your life.
"Cry for a year, but save the rest of your life." Wow, very powerful words....
I would definitely watch a Jon reality show😂
About ending a friendship! I literally went through the exact same thing with my high school best friend. I felt like I had changed for the better of myself and was going a different direction in life after over a decade of being mates. From my perspective, it felt like she knew she was seeing me become distant and was trying so hard to rekindle a friendship that had nothing in common anymore and constantly was searching for answers as to what was wrong. She always wanted to catch up and call and hang out but our values weren’t aligned and we were drastically different people by this stage. She had asked me a couple times if she had done anything wrong and she hadn’t, or she’d hear things about me and my life from a mutual friend and asked why I never told her about those things, which felt like an accusation. I knew she didn’t agree with the life I wanted for myself so I slowly pulled away, declined invitations to bdays and even her wedding. Sometimes I think back and wished I gave her an explanation but there was a lot of times she had become mad at me for the distance I had created so I thought it was better to be the bigger person. and let it naturally happen. Nothing wrong ever happened, just not the same priorities and I didn’t feel like being held down by people who didn’t want to accept my positive changes. I would’ve loved to have had a civil relationship and catch up once in a blue moon but I didn’t think that was possible. We don’t owe people anything if they refuse to acknowledge good changes
👏🏼 similar to my situation
To the question about marrying someone who isn't "handy", it sounds less about the ability to perform manual labor and more about the ability to trust that things will be taken care of. I relate to that sentiment in a big way as I am hyper-independent and while I married someone who is very capable of handling things, for the first few years of our relationship he was happy to let me do a lot of things on my own. And frankly so was I, until I wasn't. I think its great that you're keying up on this feeling BEFORE marriage but I don't think it means you guys have to split. Find a time and a way to communicate to him that feeling cared for is important to you, and one of the ways you feel cared for is by your partner taking initiative, taking things off your plate, anticipating needs, etc. And if he wants to, he will. This worked out best for me when I was clear with my partner about what I needed and gave him grace as he was trying to learn to do things for me. But you have to communicate clearly and they have to want to.
that’s a kind interpretation. i think it’s 50/50 as to whether she’s just fallen into some tradwife fantasy.
In regards to ending a long friendship, I went through something similar too!
I think it’s better just to talk about it with them and just wish them well.
My old best friend and I were friends since middle school, and it wasn’t until we separated schools, and she also went off to college that I noticed that we both lived different lifestyles and I was going through a lot of things in my life and a lot of anxiety. I started doing a lot of self work and counseling so I just started to realized who and what was for me. she never really checked in on me and I started to realize it was a one-sided friendship. whenever she would come in from college, she would only talk to me on the phone or in person about herself and she would literally talk the whole time we together and it wasn’t until the last five minutes she would say oh my God that felt so good to vent, but I already have to leave. I’m sorry I didn’t really get to ask about you, but how are you doing and would proceeded to use the phone as I would speak and then she would cut me off saying that she would have to go. And even while we were hanging out, whoever she was talking to at the time she would always be on FaceTime with them while we’re supposed to be hanging out/catching up.
Just to make sure I wasn’t making up stuff in my head the last time we hung out, she came to my house because she wanted to hang out and it was really late notice. I let my mom know that my friend was coming and if she could see if it was all in my head or if it was true that it was a one-sided friendship and that all she does is talk about herself and that at the end of the visit, she would ask me about me. When she left My mom did make a face noticing that all she did was talk about herself, she answered a FaceTime call from whoever she was messing around with at the time for about an hour and my mom and I were just sitting there awkwardly talking while she was on FaceTime. That’s when she barely talked to me and I’ve never really seen my mom not wanna talk. She actually did get up and go downstairs.
After that visit, I can’t remember how long it was before she had reached out again and she said that she missed me so much and wishes that we could hang out and talk, and I just finally opened up her and told her that I wish I could say the same but That I love her a lot and it felt like we weren’t on the same page for a while and also at some point she had tried to sneak diss me on her social media over miscommunication that this girl had never brought up and made a bunch of assumptions which that’s for another story lol but I basically just told her that I’m not really interested in that friendship anymore. Afterwards, she was very reactive towards my message. I guess because I’m not a confronting person and it makes people uncomfortable when someone finally does that and then afterwards, she tried saying that she was super sorry for the first message, but would really try to change and work on our friendship because it’s something that meant a lot to her, and the next thing you know it never happened and I was removed off of social media. And I’ve seen her once or twice and she was childish about it when we could’ve just said hi how’s it going and carried on.
SOOOOOOO I recommend getting it off your chest because you could tell peoples true colors and communication just helps a lot and closure.
If anyone reads this, thanks for coming to my TED talk
Mental health Counselor/Marriage Family Therapist.
For the person dealing with their fiancé threatening divorce.
1. Make boundaries like Alex and Jon said.
2. A tool that isn't used a lot is premarital counseling, which can be super helpful. It can help distinguish whether or not you should get married, learn healthy emotion skills, and effective communication skills to have a better marriage.
"How do you end a friendship where no one did anything wrong but you're not necessarily vibing with this person anymore?"... Just be honest? In the style that reflects your relationship. Simple... I personally don't see the need to avoid/ignore/ghost anyone if that specific situation or relationship isn't reaaaally calling for it per se... (example, threatening or bad situations). Hope this helps
Agreed. I feel like telling people to ghost their friends is terrible advice. It’s meaner than saying they don’t like them anymore in my opinion.
so what do you want to tell them...hey, I don't like you anymore? I am sure the feeling is mutual. You just don't reach out again. It isn't necessarily ghosting. Or just always be busy when they reach out to you. eventually you stop making plans.
@@ST-rj8iu this feels like avoidance
@@alfredoaraujo9294 LOL. Isn't that what you are trying to do? Yes, it is avoidance because the friendship is over. What do you want the person to say? So what is the better option? You all are funny.
I definitely go through stages with long term friends where they start to annoy me. Just drift for a while and let them know that you're busy/in a weird headspace/whatever so you'll probably be distant. If that continues to feel right you don't have to reach out again. It seems like the poster feels trapped and that's why she wants to completely end the friendship. I feel like recommending a formal end to the friendship completely removes the possibility that you might change your mind later. 20 years is such a long friendship to let go of forever! There is no reason you can't get some space from a friend without dropping a nuke on the possibility of being cordial down the line.
Jon’s reality show, “desperate couch dads” 😂 where dads play video games, go golfing, and gossip at cigar bars.
You’re on to something with that 😂
Jon winking over J-bone 😂😂😂
I think the wedding photographers lost their hard drive and are too scared to face the music. I have heard of this happening before where they lose the photos and just completely ghost the client.
I stuck around for the Zoc Doc add just because of John’s contribution 😂
You both are hilarious 🫶🏻
Awe I love seeing Alex glow every week 😊 happy you guys are willing to share this journey with us ❤ all love 💕
Run for the hills, give the ring back.
He’s aware that he has issues, but yet he has done nothing to change. Those type of men won’t change.
Yay! You guys always cheer me up ❤
I drifted apart from my female best friend of 13+ years. We both moved to different cities for work: different positions and promotions but same cosmetic company. It felt like she would stop talking to me if I got something she didn't. We had a couple falling outs that felt like she would drop me, leaving me feeling like, "What happened?" She got a lot of new friends, changed a lot, we just stopped calling each other because we both changed. Eventually, we just drifted apart. She got married and didn't invite me to her wedding, even though she invited mutual friends that she was never really that close to. That felt like the final breaking point. My feelings were really hurt, but put a lot of things into perspective.
I like the mean girls joke Alex 😂
I normally listen to y’all while I’m driving but recently started watching and it brings me even more joy 😂 does Jon always do the miming while you do ads?! Hilarious!
Always 🙄
It’s a good day when GITMS drops a new vid♥️
LOL 😂! DEFINITELY different once you have a kid and attend birthdays. They become more fun just to see your little playing with others.
It’s 105 am and im shocked y’all released this rn but thankful cus I can’t fucking sleep lol
I feel like ghosting a friendship is horrible. The other person will spend their life trying to figure out what they did wrong. It's sad :( I would prefer being told why the friendship is over
In response to the person that wants to end a 20 yr friendship. Just communicate that you have no more energy to pour into this relationship, that you want to move on and wish her all the best. Make it about your path and your desires for your life so it takes any focus off of her thinking what did I do wrong, or self deprecating thoughts. You just no longer have the energy, time or desire to move forward w this friendship.
35:19 "Well...I don't remember saying that" 🤣
Oops!
I’m with John. I think the reality tv shit is more doable than the regular jobs most of us have. They get paid a ridiculous amount of money so definitely easier lol
The unfortunate part with ending friendships is that often one side is oblivious to the distance that you put there OR they don’t want to stop being friends… either way feelings get hurt and there’s no way to avoid it… I say the best way is just to be honest and wish them the best … I had this happen with someone I knew and I just realized it was never going to be an equal friendship when I tried to give advice on something and they just totally dismissed it and me … it was at that point I realized we didn’t actually have that much in common and I let them know it … we ended things amicably but they where very hurt but now that it’s been a couple of years I can say it was the best decision for me… my life has way less stress in it now and it even made my relationship with my husband better so the best route I say is do the uncomfortable and be honest and move on
Did anyone notice Alex changing hairstyles? Lol 😂
Lmaooo I def drink less cause I’m afraid of the hangover as a parent
I’m so down for a Jon reality show 😂
I been with my boyfriend, now husband for 4 years and we have that “awkward” silence and when we realize that is quiet between us we just start laughing 😂 we just go to google and find so questions to answer and create conversation. Sometimes works and sometimes doesn’t work. But I think is can be normal in some situations 😂 best of lucks!😁
June 21st is the first day of summer :)
does america not just do the whole months? aka in aus its dec jan feb is summer then so on so on
@@mikayla19951 It's based on the solstice and equinox. June 21st is the summer solstice
@@annan5853 i could even be wrong about AUS then but ive always grown up we just go by the months like was taught at school it was 3 monthly and not related to the sun or moon which makes 1000% more sense haha.
@@mikayla19951 I live in Europe, so I'm not sure how they do it in USA, I thought it's the same everywhere :) guess not 😄 I learn something every day.
My fiance keeps threatening the relationship... has threatened to leave my ring on my night table multiple times.... this is our 2nd time in a relationship... the first time she threw the ring at me. After a year and us both having other relationships, she begged for me back, admitted to her bad treatment and I took her back. I am so down for marriage and a family. Whenever we hit a speed bump it's a threat against our relationship. I have a very close (completely platonic) female friend who I hold very very highly in life. She's an amazing person and she has been in my corner so much ever since we met. I couldn't imagine life without her... anyways, I let her read mine and my fiancé's messages... she burst into tears and said I'm being abused and I don't deserve this. She hugged me and cried:( I love my woman. I really do. I'm starting to believe she's really a narcissist. I feel lost. I don't disagree with my friend. :( I don't know why I'm struggling so much with just letting her go. I've let people go for so much less.
That’s so funny, my name is Alexandra and because i come from PR is normal for people to mispronounced it and called me Alejandra or Alexa 😂
Why do you guys not have a bandaid brand deal yet. It started with a ding and ended up with 7 and counting bandaids lmao
Good question
Love the pod! Where are y’all based out of?
recently new york... prior was cali
I think a lot of parents don't actually want to go to birthday parties. But, you also don't want the time to come for your kid's party - and no one show up!
15:50 Becci is famous 🤣
I’d watch John reality tv. this guy is naturally funny 😅
Y'all should move to Cali and join the Valley show instead of Vanderpump. That ones more based on couples with kids. Y'all would fit right in 🤣
Please have Spencer and Heidi Pratt on an episode they are so funny they could answer questions with you guys
Vitamin drips. I hear it works, Jon
HOW are that many people misspelling Alex?! 🤣🤣🤣
For the girl with the boyfriend who doesn't have things to talk about... to me that's a red flag.
Communication is connection... how can you not connect (or make an active effort to connect) with the person that you love? Especially after such a short time together... as they said, it's the first step to drift apart.
Again, it's a FLAG, not a make it or break it situation, but I have a feeling this may not be the only thing that is a little off in this couple... you deserve better, sister!
The secret sounds like it may potentially be OCD if it’s followed by a compulsion to avoid the intrusive thought or self soothe after having the thought
I wonder if Alex's hair changing styles was done on purpose to keep our attention sharp 😁
On the friend thing, seems odd that one of the two people feels like the relationship is solid while the other is feeling the complete opposite. I don’t know…. I would say it would be wise to do a self check and figure out what about the friendship is making you not want to continue the relationship after 20 yrs of friendship…. May be worth a conversation…
24:48 I must be wrong then bc I have definitely ended a friendship and told them directly I didn’t want to hang out with them anymore. We lived nearby each other and they were constantly hitting me up to hang out. They were friends with me and my sibling and my sibling had already distanced from this friend. I should have been nicer but I just said I didn’t enjoy spending time either them any more and didn’t want them to keep pursuing this friendship and getting their feelings hurt. They were upset and I apologized years later but I would think people would sort of appreciate the rejection, kind of like in dating, rather than being ghosted and wondering what happened when they didn’t do anything.
The girl that was telling her friend about her man cheating sounds like she is upset that there wasn’t more drama . Like she wanted to see it and be the hero for telling her
My name gets misspelled, even mispronounced all the time. Some people wouldn’t know that the Y in my name is actually pronounced like the long E vowel. English is hard. I say the mispronunciation bothers me more than misspelling. Only because YUH-vette sounds terrible LOL. However since there are many ways to spell: Yvette, I don’t care anymore.
Did autocorrect messed up the names? Several times? 😂😂
My name is Annette but for some reason my aunts and grandma always spell my name as “Anneth” which to their excuse they say that’s how you spell it in Spanish 🙂 I just gave up with them even though I’ve corrected them multiple times
Its emotional manipulation. If you break up or ask for the ring, it means he meant it at the moment. I can forgive it once but not multiple times. If anything it means the relationship is not solid and that I shouldn’t get married to them. Also, was this an issue that occurred before the engagement or not? If not, then what changed? If it did happen, you need to cut your loses and leave. They didn’t change when you were dating, engaged, and will most likely not change when you get married and have kids.
I have a hard name to pronounce and I don’t even correct people at this point lol it’s not worth my time
Wait Alex's dad calls her ex boyfriends??😂 so rude🥲
28:59 Jon whether you know it or not you basically quoted The Other Guys 😂
ua-cam.com/video/M27IEY3ZZak/v-deo.htmlsi=v6aMYmVIQ9QfU3eq
Ahhh you are right👏
@@giveittomestraight I was dying 🤣
LOL YOU HAVE TO AUDITION 😅😅
PLEASE get on reality tv as a couple and pretend your done with eachother and both on the show single and sabotage everyone else until it's just you two left standing
Alex is a bully lol
Guys just vlog ?
You were raised to be independent yet you’ve been in a relationship since middle school… that sentence doesn’t seem right
1st!!!!
My name is Racquel and it has been mispronounced and spelt wrong my whole life. I’m not offended because how would they know. I love my name