Thank you for sharing these tips Kati. These ideas are quite simple and effective. Making a list here: 1. Volunteer for a cause you care about 2. Join a group or club 3. Take a class 4. Re-engage with old friends 5. Connect with friends of friends 6. Talk to strangers 7. Make friends online 8. Try friendship apps 9. Connect on a neighborhood chat site 10. Pursue the peripheral friend
Very helpful except to people in my circumstances. It highlighted how hopeless my situation is at 70 and isolated. Absolutely not a single thing can do for one reason or another. May as well pull the plug. Nothing to live in anticipation for
I made friends with a girl by crashing my car into her ditch while looking for my lost dog 🤣 She came out to check on me and we sparked up a friendship.. three years later she’s still one of my besties! She tells people I crashed into her life!
I miss the time when I would be playing alone at a playground, just minding my own business and a random kid would come up to me and ask to be my friend without even asking for my name first
@@paginaventisei, I concur, it's important. I lost most of the friends I made in youth to their major life changes - marriage, kids, moving, etc. and some really hurt because as soon as they had a romantic partner, they just stopped making an effort. It made me feel like a filler friend; there to meet their needs for that time only. I would suggest trying to connect with not just single friends but some that are already married and have kids; the ones who are actually looking for connections outside of their already established life. They just might be the ones who really stick, who knows?
It's normal for it to be harder! You've spent all of grade school (and maybe even college) surrounded by people, so it's usually easy to find people to hang out with. But when you get to the job force- and maybe you even work remotely, which isolates you even further- you don't have that constant contact for months on end. You have to have that repeated contact and effort, which the average work week robs you of.
I am down to get to know anyone here that wants to reach out. I have lots of married friends that have grown distant and I think mainly it's that their life has gotten so busy that they are just trying to stay above the waterline and not mess up as parents or a spouse. It's possible they feel bad none of their old friends are in contact with them anymore too, but may not understand why that happened.
I started a Japanese class last year, i didn't get to connect too much with the people in the class because we went from 12 to 7 and then to 3, but the teacher told us that she had a private class where she taught how to read Japanese Manga and we could attend that instead as this one was ending and she couldn't continue it when there was so few signed up for it (we where like 4 people signed up again) In the private class i met other people with interests in both Japan, culture, anime and manga and i have to say i very much enjoy spending time with them all! We have meet outside the classes, 3 of us meets up 2 hours before class to sit and chat and do some of the homework together, and we all talked about traveling together with our teacher, as she has been doing guided tours before and knows Japan well, so i am SO SO glad i took a leap of faith and spend money on a "stupid dream" learning a language that "ill never use" haha way to prove me and other people wrong eh?
Being from the NYC area, talking to strangers isn't really an option. But I moved to the MidWest and people are so much nicer! Like yesterday I bought croissants at the market. The cashier commented about how her Mom loves croissants. The cashiers always comment on the food I buy if it is something they have never tried. That would never happen in New York. I suggested to top the croissants with melted Muenster cheese that I also had in my cart. She said she would have never thought of that , thanked me, and was very excited to try it. A nice convo with a stranger.
Same here! I'm 25 and I love alone time. Even tho it's very easy for me to make new friends or talk to strangers, I have to force myself to actually meet friends and hang out with them.
I have also learned to be more present when you do hang out with someone. For example I used to put so much pressure on myself that hopefully, when I am meeting / hanging out with someone, that it turns into a super deep, long lasting, consistent friendship. However, I have realized that I need to be more present and enjoy that they are here hanging out with me right now/ in this moment . If it turns into a real true friend great, if it doesn't.. it was nice to have them in that moment of time!
This has literally been on my mind sooo much lately. Because I have literally ZERO friends. I have family but that is different. A person NEEDS friends or at least one friend that they can go to for anything. And I just don’t have that. So thank you so so much for this video!!
I've been to University for three years, had two years away and now in my fourth year, and throughout that time I still have not made any actual friends. Acquaintances and healthy interactions sure but not real friends I see and talk to regularly. I've always had pretty bad social anxiety and being too socially inept to make conversations doesn't help either. It feels like everyone else is making friends, even in my class, and I'm just pushed to the side. I still have a group chat with a couple of friends from school but otherwise I feel very lonely. Making friends is TOO hard in this heavily corporate, judgemental and unfriendly world. Regardless thank you for the video something like this is very helpful.
Hi! I’m 74 and exactly 4 months ago I went no contact with my 56 year old daughter the narcissist. Initially I felt elated at having taken this step that was necessary for my survival. My other daughter doesn’t understand why I don’t set boundaries with the narcissist, and continue to see her occasionally. I know in my heart that it just won’t work out to have contact with her. She’s too controlling and abusive to me. I’m happy to a found you. I have been thinking about making new friends. Thank you so much for the ideas. Beverly.😎
I am really struggling. I Have friends but do not want come across as overly needy. I feel so alone I Live by myself . My last flatmate stole my wallet and car keys whilst I was asleep. I fall in love with any lady that shows me the slightest compassion. My father died a year ago and despite my efforts I am estranged with my sister . My mother needs constant help and financial support - she is very elderly. I am trying . I had a friend recently come up from Taupo and stay with me for three days - I enjoyed that . At Easter I went with a friend to Marlborough for a week . I Work full time. I am going to go back to church and home groups because that helps.
The problem with meeting strangers and potentially turning them into friends and getting them to actually respond over text or call is like trying to win the lottery, either you’ll hit it off or you won’t, I’ve struggled with this for a long time of meeting new people getting their number and it being a complete waste of time because they were either uninterested or too busy in their lives to prioritize friendships. What I do when I meet strangers or anybody going forward is try to get a sense of what their free time to connect is like THEN I ask their number, I’m done getting their number only to waste my time and not be responded to.
I've struggled to make friends since I was a kid and this has translated into my 30s. I've never had a lasting friendship despite doing all the heavy lifting mentioned here. I'm in the helping profession, and I laugh that part of my job is helping people connect with each other when I suck at doing that for myself. Being different flipping sucks.
Making friends as adults is terribly difficult especially when the other person is married with children, so spending time with a friend is not a priority anymore. They have their spouse, children, job, family and personal errands. I wish I had good friends 😔
A few months ago we started showing up to large group gatherings being put on by a cute young couple that went to our church ages ago but we had never been best friends or close friends with them. They are networkers and we love the community they create at their home for birthdays and dinner parties and they are one of our few people in a big circle that don't have kids but love our kids. We arrive and mix and mingle with old friends and new ones. Our kids play the piano and sing with the guests. One of the hosts shows off his garden to our kids and talks about how things grow and thrive in our area. They have taught our son how to be brave like they were as kids: catching frogs, jumping fences, getting dirty, etc. while my husband and I are more bookish and nerdy in our adulthood. So I guess one "tip" is just showing up to those kinds of parties even though the hosts were not "best friend" material, they are wonderful organizers and really welcome in all of who we are as a family of four. Another tip is trying to find people at those gatherings that I haven't caught up with recently or I've seen but haven't actually met before. I talked with a person that I had seen here and there for over ten years and I learned his name for the first time! I found out he's a professor of Russian literature and we had a wonderful and lengthy talk. I don't know if he would like to be our friend for the long term but I would like to keep going to those gatherings and find out. I guess that's a blend of what you mentioned in the video 1) talk to strangers 2) connect with friends of friends and 3) go more than once even if it's challenging. This is the best video of it's kind and I read a lot of articles and watch UA-cam videos about this topic often. Thank you!!
The first one that resonated with me is catching up with old friends. The others like school I did not do so well in school, organizations or volunteering are not a good option for me. I also do not have any goals so setting goals with another person is just not possible. I have made two friendships over the past 14 years one at work and one at one of those organizations. I don’t like taking risk and I don’t communicate well, I have enough issues in my current relationships that making any friends may not be possible. Thank you
It's been my goal to make genuine friendships ever since the start of the pandemic. It's been exhausting for sure. Everyone I connected with on Bumble BFF never made it past a 3 day conversation, the discord/online friends weren't in the same life stage or came to me with unresolved mental insecurites, and the meetups I'm interested in are too far from me. Thank you for sharing more insight on this Kait. I cant give up!
I have been trying to think of ways to make new friends lately, so great timing. I struggle a lot because I am autistic and I have severe social anxiety with agoraphobia, but I am so lonely. I was talking to a friend last night, and mentioned something that required me to name some friends, and I realized I only have two people locally including the one I was talking to, plus one who lives in another country who I feel comfortable around. It made me sad, but I struggle a lot. I get ghosted on dating and friend apps and I worry it's because I'm autistic and there is some social stuff I just have no idea I'm doing wrong. I'm also disabled and can't drive, so that puts people off. It's depressing for me but I will keep trying.
so most of my friends have always been online, when i was a child my parents moved once and i was never really able to make friends in the new town, what is so fun about online friends is that no matter where you live or move they are with you, sadly i dont have many friends in the town i live in as an adult so no real face to face friends, i have been lucky to have amazing long distance friends so my friends online mean everything to me even though i might not ever get a chance to meet them in person
I barely have ANY friends outside of work and gym. Besides, I personally enjoy being around my colleagues; who, at times, make me feel a little special inside. Lastly, as someone who's an ambivert, I'm better off not making any friends because... I've had fake friends my entire life. And there were some who just weren't worth my time anymore. Just speaking from personal experience.
One day in 2014 I got a Facebook message from someone who went to the same university I did at the time and he found me through an aviation group. We chatted, and we’ve met up a few times on campus and we’ve gone to the airport to go plane spotting. We’ve also flown together on day trips. I’m actually flying this weekend to go to his wedding so that’s cool.
I recently reconnected with someone I knew from work years ago and we were both really glad to run into each other and we connected on Facebook but then I went and did the whole "we should get together for coffee some time!" thing and it's been a few weeks and I've yet to follow thru on it. This is where I get stuck with people. Talking for a few mins is one thing where you have that kind of surface level connection but then trying to take that next step and actually hang out is another and I'm utterly petrified of hanging out. So many questions and overthinking! I have social anxiety which makes hanging out with ppl even harder, especially new people. I'm really hoping I can get past this anxiety and just do it 😔
A way I've made lots of friends is by going to events that involve some sort of dress-up element (like a convention). If I take a picture with someone, I'll ask if they have any social media handles I can send the photo to. I also put my handles on little pieces of candy that have my social media info on. Other things that work is approaching people who are by themselves, but looking like they want someone to talk to. Simply asking "hey, want to walk around the event with me/us?" has made me lots of friends.
I made a online friend, I talked to them for a very long time and everything was going great. I used to think they're my good friend but i don't think they thing same about me they only when they wanna talk and ignore my text as well. I think i should moved on and focus on myself. This is why I don't make friends. That's the worst feeling when they show you that you're not important to them and they only talking to you because they're feeling bored. Sometimes they show interest and pretend they care. I feel like i spend too much of my emotion on a wrong person. Well I don't think I'm going to continue talking to them.
I’m an extrovert and love meeting people, but… my anxiety disorder (generalized) makes it hard for me to meet, and keep, friends because I don’t always feel comfortable going certain places or can’t make it because I’m having a hard day. It’s made me feel extremely lonely and cut off from society. I also, stay home with older kids, so there aren’t any playdate opportunities, anymore. To make things more difficult, our family relocates for work about every 2 years. So, I’m constantly starting over (with everything).
Lack of proximity is the major hurdle for people on Disability hence the further failure to recover for those without the money $$ and or means to even mix with people.
Such good timing! Going to a meet up I've been to a few times now already but I still get really nervous and debated not going. This convinced me to keep my end goal in mind and go today! Thank you :)❤
I found out I'm on the autistic spectrum in my 40's - it explained so much of who I am and how awkward social connections have always been. I've always been in the mood of 'I want to meet new people, have new friends, hang out with them .... but I also can't leave the comfort of my home and the silence of solitude'. People are exhausting - I know this because I myself am very exhausting. I wish I could have text message friends just to start with.
I also do feel the same. On one side i want to meet new people have fun with them, at the same time I think i would hate it , idk if I'm jealous of them, do u want a text friend?
Best thing I did was delete my FB account. I usually felt lousy after being on or using it. Been off over a month now. I notice I'm doing better at taking care of myself and random chores around the house. Plus I've been a little happier over all.
This video was perfect for me because I’ve been thinking a lot about how to make new friends. What has definitely helped are a couple of Facebook groups I’m in. One group is a sports group I’ve been in for about 10 years. I’ve gotten to know the people that are in that group as we share a common interest of sports. The other I’ve been a member of for a year is about a faith we share. We have definitely become friends and a great community. I have a couple of friends outside of the internet world, but mostly text them. The friendships I’ve developed (particularly in the group where we share a similar faith) are amazing! I also have a couple of people I would consider friends via Twitter. Friendship is soooo amazing and needed!
Amazing video! I guess this is happening a lot in India as well. People are quite workaholic and barely get any time to make friends outside their workplace. Especially it's a big problem with the introvert club. A little request from my side is, could you please make a video on how to get rid of phone addiction and take hold of our real lives once again? Thank you!
Not sure if someone has brought this up already, the part about speaking to people in queues or when you are waiting for something.... Just want to say before you try this, make sure you are aware that not everyone will want to talk. Know that isn't because of you or what you are saying but it is how the other person is feeling at the time. It is ok for the other person not to want to engage and if they seem to feel uncomfortable or not wanting to chat then end the convo politely but don't let it stop you trying to talk to someone different another time because it equally might make someone's day!
Really appreciate the message at the end regarding the goal of putting ourselves in spaces where repeated proximity can happen, then noticing connections and pursuing the ones that feel right. I've been trying to make new friends through my kids' events as gatherings begin to become more common again. Thank you for the tips!
Nice timing as finding friends was on my mind lately. I've moved to another country last year and even though I can speak the language it still feels isolating -- there's still a language barrier of some sorts I'd say. Doesn't help that I'm introverted, too. I was debating whether I should go to an event tomorrow maybe I'll take this video as a sign to go there, who knows
i didn’t make friends in school. i am asd. i got picked on in school. i’v also mostly gotten picked on in the work force including the entire time i was in the military. i’m happy to stay at the house, people don’t pick on you that way.
Hey Kati, I was able to make some friends (thanks for your tips! :D), but I wonder how do you "evolve" these friendships? For example, how can one of your friends become that best friend that you might be looking for? I would be really happy, if you could make a video about that. :) Thank you so much for all your videos, you are helping so many people with these!
Great idea for a follow-up video. Also, I tend to be more invested with new friendships than the other person is, so I wonder if I’m doing something off-putting, without knowing it. That would make an interesting addition to your idea 💡
@@elle_from_cawa-li9061 Thanks. :) Yes, I can relate to that, sometimes it's really hard to not cross a line, especially if you're excited about someone new you met. Would be an interesting topic for that video as well. :D
Good morning Kati! This video was great! I was surprised to find that I'm actually better at making friends as an adult than I was when I was younger. I typically make friends online, rather than in person. Facebook groups are a wonderful way to meet people. I am moving to a new state this fall and already have two new friends!
My BIGGEST obstacle I found making new friends (and this has been going on since my late 20s) is that other women I talk to and have shared interests, when I ask "Hey let's grab coffee and talk, maybe we can go to (shared interest) together". They always say "I can't I have kids". I don't have kids (didn't have any because of endometriosis and had surgery), so I'm not sure what to do.
I honestly think it's better to be "alone" less drama to deal with and I get to self reflect a lot on how I'm feeling why I feel the things I do and people are so exhausting to talk to honestly so I think it's better to be "alone"
If there's too much drama, it's either you or the people you choose (which kinda still points back to you). I've learned this about myself the hard way. I connected with people with problems and soon they became my problems. I grew up in a tumultuous household so this was what was familiar and comfortable to me. I also caused drama by being too fearful of being direct or assertive with the people involved. Instead I talked to other friends about it, with the belief I was getting advice or venting. This never solved the problem with the person who was actually involved. It just basically became me trash talking the other people and complaining all the time. I also found myself easily bored with calm, chilled out people. To me they didn't appear to have any passion for life or sense of adventure. While not all those who appear exciting and fun are the ones with all the drama, there is a higher concentration of them in that category. Just be careful and listen to what comes out of their mouth before deciding if they are good for you or bad.
This is a problem that I struggle with and there's one current situation that I don't know what to do about. Every time my partner and a few of our friends are going to see a film we go to the Pizza Hut next door to the cinema and usually run into the same server, I've had several conversations with them about what film we're going to see and about Marvel and DC superheroes. However, because the new system is to order through the app on your phone, I never get to know the server's name (none of the employees wear nametags) as when they took orders in person it would have the servers name on the bottom of the recipit; and it's been so long that I feel awkward asking their name and introducing myself as well, let alone swapping contact info to chat outside of these instances.
I REALLY appreciate all of these awesome tips. I started trauma therapy last July and got a concrete diagnosis of ADHD (and that unlocked a whole new level of understanding myself). That said, as a woman with ADHD - I have no friends. I can easily make friends, but sustaining is the hardest part for me, and I don't know why. I am terrible at keeping in contact with people, even through texting or messaging, and I have a very difficult time holding myself accountable to it. I feel guilty. I feel ashamed. And I feel misunderstood. Adding a working memory issue into the making-friendship-mix, is another level of difficulty.
Sounds like you're on a trail of self discovery, something to be proud of for sure. I took a pitstop somewhere on that trail myself, but stories like yours reminds me that others out there feel similarly and it is possible to take the next step. Thank you for sharing.
It would be nice if you could make videos on critical illnesses. I went through bladder removal last December to fight bladder cancer but then in January this year I went into septic shock. Spent the month in the hospital. I'm realizing that I'm now dealing with some parts of post-sepsis syndrome. The mental/emotional side of all this is hard and complex.
At uni I was trying to cram before a test by watching the recorded lecture at 2x speed while sitting outside the classroom. The guy next to me looked over and realized that we were doing the same thing. We’ve been friends since, and we’re both still bad students lol
I've met 2 of my 3 closest friends online. The first one was 22 years ago whilst we were expecting our babies. Back then most ppl thought that was crazy. A few years later I started to play World of Warcraft and met a lot of great friends through that. I have had parties at my house in Sweden with people from Sweden, Denmark, England, Germany, Netherlands, and whatnot. 30-40 ppl I'd never met IRL. Most recently I've met friends via Facebook and parent/support groups. However, most live far apart and ain't friends I meet IRL regularly. Some are friends for a shorter period and others I stay in touch with for a long time.
Hey Kati, I was wondering if you could share a few tips for how to actually talk to people. I know it sounds weird but I never know what to ask or say to people and I find that after talking about the weather and some small talk I quickly run out of things to say. Even though I try to go out and chat my mind just goes blank and I feel like I have nothing in common with anyone 😢
I'm reading comments here and I have to wonder. What's your secret, you happy fulfilled lonely people? I've been very lonely for the last year or so, and while I can take solitude better than most, there are obviously side effects which I think are.. universal? Like I lose all sense of purpose, my thoughts become darker, I become kind of hopeless and down all the time. I cope but it's not easy and not blissful. Am I missing something?
Wow, Kati! That was a great video. My interest in the subject matter was not so much for myself as it was to keep in touch with a subject I almost majored in when I was in school. I ended up getting my degree in sociology instead. But I still have enough interest in psychology to find well presented videos like yours fun to watch.
Thanks so much for sharing all this, I grew up an introvert and been progressing this last year getting out of my comfort zone. I'd like to kindly request a topic for upcoming videos Why are some people selective on who they allow into their life as friends? I was like that growing up and still feel that way. I look forward to learning.
My oldest daughter has friends and I try to make friends with my daughters friends mom's and they are my good friends and we have our kids talk about and have play date with our kids while us moms talk and hang out ❤ so that's a great way to if your a mom or dad 😊
I realize I am not problem to make friends, but I am having problems making close friends. As an introvert living in another culture I do not especially enjoy, it is a real challenge.
It's harder to make friends when you're older, since you see more people at school or college. You can also try to join courses or clubs, which can lead you to like minded people.
as i can understand in english language the word friend has very loose meaning. Everybody you know called a friend. But to be honest people at school never were friends.People at work the same. It was just forced proximity as has been mentioned. I always smile when i hear possible number of friend. 5 or 10 or smth. Obviously they are just acquaintances. It is virtually impossible to maintain real freindship with more than 2 ppl except a spouse. But nothing to be sad about. its more than enough.
It's hard for me, I have social anxiety so it's really hard to reach out to people. I want to make new friends, but don't. As every time I make a new friend, over the time they just insult me and put me down and make me feel bad, so why bother?! I do wish I had a woman friend to do girly things with.... but don't want the put downs and insults!
I have tried all of these steps and it’s not yet helped. It’s been a lot of my 20’s alone unless I am dating someone. I hope that this changes someday ❤
I met my most recent friends online in a forum. There you know you share some interests (in my case music) and I developed some pretty good friendships from there. Reminds me, that we didn't have a targeting since Covid started.
we don't make friends sitting at home watching television. Ya don't say! But even going out it's not easy. and how hard could it be for a young attractive woman like you who is also a therapist and skilled in the ins and outs of human relations! I should be so lucky!
Making friends as an adult is hard! On top of that I have ADHD, I work from home, and love being home! I am not an introvert, I rather identify myself as an ambivert. I do love and enjoy going out with one or two people, I can even take a small group. Usually I am the life of the party or the circle, but once home, I need my "me" time, my "down" time... Anyway, you seem a really nice person and someone who "gets it"! Let me know if you want a new friend from the UK! 🙏👋
@@Katimorton you are an amazing human being... A long time ago, I was told That I’d never fit in Never succeed Never prosper Never make it Or win That I wasn’t welcome That being me was just wrong That I didn’t matter I didn’t belong I may be crazy You may think I’m dumb But I've always danced to the beat Of my own drum I’ll be true to me Just be No matter the cost Just remember Not all who wander Are truly lost I’ll never get ahead I’m never gonna win Just being me Is my original sin So, I seem broken My life a mess But that depends on how You define success They tell you to stay in line Conform Mind your place But I wake up every morning With a smile on my face I could care less bout the games We’re supposed to all play What rules we’re to follow What norms to obey Id rather weird Be loud and stand out Then nervous And anxious And riddled with doubt I could care less I don’t give damn If there’s one thing, I’m sure of It’s who that I am I can be happy In this mortal shell I’ve been through so much I’ve walked through hell But I’ll never gave in I refused to stop Even if I never Come out on top I'll fight to the last Just for the right to exist I own my past I'll thrive, I’ll resist I'll ignore lies I refuse to be anything else I'll just be me Stay true to myself All these battles The struggles I’ve fought I’ve always remembered You’re only as free, as strong As your thoughts We build these prisons In our minds Of who we are How we’re defined We let other convince us Of who we should be How we should think How we should see Life’s to short To not be true There’s too much To lose To not just be you It's you who decides How your battles are won When you push on When the battle is done At the end of the day Through the pain The regrets All the stress You’re the only person You should strive to impress Everything you’ve overcome All you’ve been through In the end All you need All you have Is you I have nothing to prove To this society And I’m truly happy Just being me We don’t get to choose The hand that we’re dealt In the end all that matters Is loving yourself So, no matter what happens What dreams my come Follow your heart Be happy And dance to your drum…
I always get school anxiety everyday in the morning and I get failing grades and I don’t pay attention In class cause the classes are hard. I don’t have friends or have a relationship.
+Katimorton *Being a Kannerite for all my five-plus decades on Earth - I's diagnosed in infancy - I had the odds of developing relationships of **_any_** depth stacked against me.* Consistently with the majority autistic, I'd historical problems with emotional disabilities frustrating social development. Organic friendships? Not in my case. Most o' the lessons learned over the past five decades, frustratingly, weren't backported to the senior end o' the Autism Spectrum. It was only by sheer chance that I ran into a social and emotional development program with no age limits and no prerequisites: Gutstein and Sheely's design-patented Relationship Development Intervention Program, supported through The Connections Center, Houston, TX, USA, whitherinto I entered 27 December 2022 as a Novice - yes, even senior citizens can be Novices in RDI. Frustratingly, Meta Platforms hasn't a neurodivergency filter for facebookⓇ Datingᵀᴹ, so I cannot limit potential others to known autistic of 50+ years age in East Contra Costa and/or Stockton and/or Mountain House, CA, USA.
I think I must be a freak because I have joined numerous classes and clubs, done loads of volunteer work but I never make friends that I see out of that context. We are all friendly when we are in class or volunteering together, but everyone already has too many friends already or are busy with their families and don't want to meet up socially.
I gave up trying to make friends. They start so friendly and so kind. They wind up evil, abusive, hateful, and opportunistic. This is why I have no friends. For the sake of safety, and avoiding abuse, I just opted out of friendship. "friends," do not like my very passive, quiet, and aloof ways once they get to know me. Not all can have friends. It just haolemed to fall upon me to be of the few people that can not have friends. However, I accept it. Most people that can not have friends will still try to force having them and make themselves miserable. I accepted and do not feel as bad as they do.
I used online apps, two things happened: 1. Met a person who I really talked with a while, and there was potential, but then my phone got stolen, and lost the app... 2. Attracted only scammers(I'm sooo ugly!!).
Making friends is literally impossible if you live in a small town in Sweden (people in this country mostly just stick to their already existing friend groups.. especially in smaller towns). There are literally no opportunities for adults in my town whatsoever.. only for kids, teens, and old people.
Thank you for sharing these tips Kati. These ideas are quite simple and effective.
Making a list here:
1. Volunteer for a cause you care about
2. Join a group or club
3. Take a class
4. Re-engage with old friends
5. Connect with friends of friends
6. Talk to strangers
7. Make friends online
8. Try friendship apps
9. Connect on a neighborhood chat site
10. Pursue the peripheral friend
Thank you so much for making a list!! I am glad the video was helpful :) xoxo
@@Katimorton We are always thankful sis
Thank you so much.
Very helpful except to people in my circumstances. It highlighted how hopeless my situation is at 70 and isolated. Absolutely not a single thing can do for one reason or another. May as well pull the plug. Nothing to live in anticipation for
I made friends with a girl by crashing my car into her ditch while looking for my lost dog 🤣 She came out to check on me and we sparked up a friendship.. three years later she’s still one of my besties! She tells people I crashed into her life!
Omg I love that story!! Too cute :) xoxo
Awww cute
@kentilus yes
I'm jelly....lol.
Did you find the dog?
I miss the time when I would be playing alone at a playground, just minding my own business and a random kid would come up to me and ask to be my friend without even asking for my name first
It's always been hard for me to make friends and I thought that since I am now an adult it would get easier. But it's become somehow even harder
You’re not missing out on anything.❤
@@supermichaelssecondchannel4342 Well but it IS a pretty important part of life
@@paginaventisei, I concur, it's important. I lost most of the friends I made in youth to their major life changes - marriage, kids, moving, etc. and some really hurt because as soon as they had a romantic partner, they just stopped making an effort. It made me feel like a filler friend; there to meet their needs for that time only. I would suggest trying to connect with not just single friends but some that are already married and have kids; the ones who are actually looking for connections outside of their already established life. They just might be the ones who really stick, who knows?
It's normal for it to be harder! You've spent all of grade school (and maybe even college) surrounded by people, so it's usually easy to find people to hang out with. But when you get to the job force- and maybe you even work remotely, which isolates you even further- you don't have that constant contact for months on end. You have to have that repeated contact and effort, which the average work week robs you of.
I am down to get to know anyone here that wants to reach out.
I have lots of married friends that have grown distant and I think mainly it's that their life has gotten so busy that they are just trying to stay above the waterline and not mess up as parents or a spouse. It's possible they feel bad none of their old friends are in contact with them anymore too, but may not understand why that happened.
I started a Japanese class last year, i didn't get to connect too much with the people in the class because we went from 12 to 7 and then to 3, but the teacher told us that she had a private class where she taught how to read Japanese Manga and we could attend that instead as this one was ending and she couldn't continue it when there was so few signed up for it (we where like 4 people signed up again) In the private class i met other people with interests in both Japan, culture, anime and manga and i have to say i very much enjoy spending time with them all!
We have meet outside the classes, 3 of us meets up 2 hours before class to sit and chat and do some of the homework together, and we all talked about traveling together with our teacher, as she has been doing guided tours before and knows Japan well, so i am SO SO glad i took a leap of faith and spend money on a "stupid dream" learning a language that "ill never use" haha way to prove me and other people wrong eh?
Being from the NYC area, talking to strangers isn't really an option. But I moved to the MidWest and people are so much nicer!
Like yesterday I bought croissants at the market. The cashier commented about how her Mom loves croissants. The cashiers always comment on the food I buy if it is something they have never tried. That would never happen in New York. I suggested to top the croissants with melted Muenster cheese that I also had in my cart. She said she would have never thought of that , thanked me, and was very excited to try it.
A nice convo with a stranger.
The older I get, the less interest I have in sharing time with others. Solitude is always wonderful to me.
is it really?
Same here! I'm 25 and I love alone time. Even tho it's very easy for me to make new friends or talk to strangers, I have to force myself to actually meet friends and hang out with them.
I'm 52 I'm spent
Im a 43yr old woman with adult kids,and i LOVE solitude as well.
Solitary confinement sounds like a dream all my friends are in my head
I have also learned to be more present when you do hang out with someone. For example I used to put so much pressure on myself that hopefully, when I am meeting / hanging out with someone, that it turns into a super deep, long lasting, consistent friendship. However, I have realized that I need to be more present and enjoy that they are here hanging out with me right now/ in this moment . If it turns into a real true friend great, if it doesn't.. it was nice to have them in that moment of time!
This has literally been on my mind sooo much lately. Because I have literally ZERO friends. I have family but that is different. A person NEEDS friends or at least one friend that they can go to for anything. And I just don’t have that. So thank you so so much for this video!!
I've been to University for three years, had two years away and now in my fourth year, and throughout that time I still have not made any actual friends. Acquaintances and healthy interactions sure but not real friends I see and talk to regularly. I've always had pretty bad social anxiety and being too socially inept to make conversations doesn't help either. It feels like everyone else is making friends, even in my class, and I'm just pushed to the side. I still have a group chat with a couple of friends from school but otherwise I feel very lonely. Making friends is TOO hard in this heavily corporate, judgemental and unfriendly world. Regardless thank you for the video something like this is very helpful.
same here making friends in college is so hard
Hi! I’m 74 and exactly 4 months ago I went no contact with my 56 year old daughter the narcissist. Initially I felt elated at having taken this step that was necessary for my survival. My other daughter doesn’t understand why I don’t set boundaries with the narcissist, and continue to see her occasionally. I know in my heart that it just won’t work out to have contact with her. She’s too controlling and abusive to me. I’m happy to a found you. I have been thinking about making new friends. Thank you so much for the ideas. Beverly.😎
I am really struggling. I Have friends but do not want come across as overly needy. I feel so alone I Live by myself . My last flatmate stole my wallet and car keys whilst I was asleep. I fall in love with any lady that shows me the slightest compassion. My father died a year ago and despite my efforts I am estranged with my sister . My mother needs constant help and financial support - she is very elderly. I am trying . I had a friend recently come up from Taupo and stay with me for three days - I enjoyed that . At Easter I went with a friend to Marlborough for a week . I Work full time. I am going to go back to church and home groups because that helps.
The problem with meeting strangers and potentially turning them into friends and getting them to actually respond over text or call is like trying to win the lottery, either you’ll hit it off or you won’t, I’ve struggled with this for a long time of meeting new people getting their number and it being a complete waste of time because they were either uninterested or too busy in their lives to prioritize friendships. What I do when I meet strangers or anybody going forward is try to get a sense of what their free time to connect is like THEN I ask their number, I’m done getting their number only to waste my time and not be responded to.
I've struggled to make friends since I was a kid and this has translated into my 30s. I've never had a lasting friendship despite doing all the heavy lifting mentioned here. I'm in the helping profession, and I laugh that part of my job is helping people connect with each other when I suck at doing that for myself. Being different flipping sucks.
Making friends as adults is terribly difficult especially when the other person is married with children, so spending time with a friend is not a priority anymore. They have their spouse, children, job, family and personal errands. I wish I had good friends 😔
Same here, I'm 44 and I've already given up on friendship, hugs from Argentina
Hi I'm from India I'm searching international friends
Same 😢
While I just need to be in my zone for some time, I am totally bookmarking this for when the time comes. THANK YOU for sharing this. ❤
You’re a UA-cam OG. I can always respect it!
As an adult I have never trusted anyone enough to be friends with them. I am just polite and friendly to everyone and try to make them happy.
I'm Brazilian, love watch your videos ❤
A few months ago we started showing up to large group gatherings being put on by a cute young couple that went to our church ages ago but we had never been best friends or close friends with them. They are networkers and we love the community they create at their home for birthdays and dinner parties and they are one of our few people in a big circle that don't have kids but love our kids. We arrive and mix and mingle with old friends and new ones. Our kids play the piano and sing with the guests. One of the hosts shows off his garden to our kids and talks about how things grow and thrive in our area. They have taught our son how to be brave like they were as kids: catching frogs, jumping fences, getting dirty, etc. while my husband and I are more bookish and nerdy in our adulthood. So I guess one "tip" is just showing up to those kinds of parties even though the hosts were not "best friend" material, they are wonderful organizers and really welcome in all of who we are as a family of four. Another tip is trying to find people at those gatherings that I haven't caught up with recently or I've seen but haven't actually met before. I talked with a person that I had seen here and there for over ten years and I learned his name for the first time! I found out he's a professor of Russian literature and we had a wonderful and lengthy talk. I don't know if he would like to be our friend for the long term but I would like to keep going to those gatherings and find out. I guess that's a blend of what you mentioned in the video 1) talk to strangers 2) connect with friends of friends and 3) go more than once even if it's challenging. This is the best video of it's kind and I read a lot of articles and watch UA-cam videos about this topic often. Thank you!!
The first one that resonated with me is catching up with old friends. The others like school I did not do so well in school, organizations or volunteering are not a good option for me. I also do not have any goals so setting goals with another person is just not possible. I have made two friendships over the past 14 years one at work and one at one of those organizations. I don’t like taking risk and I don’t communicate well, I have enough issues in my current relationships that making any friends may not be possible. Thank you
I just moved to a new city and was looking for a ways to find friends or community so your video is amazing resource. Thank you so much ❤❤❤
It's been my goal to make genuine friendships ever since the start of the pandemic. It's been exhausting for sure. Everyone I connected with on Bumble BFF never made it past a 3 day conversation, the discord/online friends weren't in the same life stage or came to me with unresolved mental insecurites, and the meetups I'm interested in are too far from me. Thank you for sharing more insight on this Kait. I cant give up!
I have been trying to think of ways to make new friends lately, so great timing. I struggle a lot because I am autistic and I have severe social anxiety with agoraphobia, but I am so lonely. I was talking to a friend last night, and mentioned something that required me to name some friends, and I realized I only have two people locally including the one I was talking to, plus one who lives in another country who I feel comfortable around. It made me sad, but I struggle a lot. I get ghosted on dating and friend apps and I worry it's because I'm autistic and there is some social stuff I just have no idea I'm doing wrong. I'm also disabled and can't drive, so that puts people off. It's depressing for me but I will keep trying.
Just moved to a small town for a job. This was needed.
Glad you liked it! Wishing you much success at your new job and in the search for new friends!
so most of my friends have always been online, when i was a child my parents moved once and i was never really able to make friends in the new town, what is so fun about online friends is that no matter where you live or move they are with you, sadly i dont have many friends in the town i live in as an adult so no real face to face friends, i have been lucky to have amazing long distance friends so my friends online mean everything to me even though i might not ever get a chance to meet them in person
I barely have ANY friends outside of work and gym. Besides, I personally enjoy being around my colleagues; who, at times, make me feel a little special inside.
Lastly, as someone who's an ambivert, I'm better off not making any friends because... I've had fake friends my entire life. And there were some who just weren't worth my time anymore. Just speaking from personal experience.
One day in 2014 I got a Facebook message from someone who went to the same university I did at the time and he found me through an aviation group. We chatted, and we’ve met up a few times on campus and we’ve gone to the airport to go plane spotting. We’ve also flown together on day trips. I’m actually flying this weekend to go to his wedding so that’s cool.
I recently reconnected with someone I knew from work years ago and we were both really glad to run into each other and we connected on Facebook but then I went and did the whole "we should get together for coffee some time!" thing and it's been a few weeks and I've yet to follow thru on it. This is where I get stuck with people. Talking for a few mins is one thing where you have that kind of surface level connection but then trying to take that next step and actually hang out is another and I'm utterly petrified of hanging out. So many questions and overthinking! I have social anxiety which makes hanging out with ppl even harder, especially new people. I'm really hoping I can get past this anxiety and just do it 😔
A way I've made lots of friends is by going to events that involve some sort of dress-up element (like a convention). If I take a picture with someone, I'll ask if they have any social media handles I can send the photo to. I also put my handles on little pieces of candy that have my social media info on.
Other things that work is approaching people who are by themselves, but looking like they want someone to talk to. Simply asking "hey, want to walk around the event with me/us?" has made me lots of friends.
I made a online friend, I talked to them for a very long time and everything was going great. I used to think they're my good friend but i don't think they thing same about me they only when they wanna talk and ignore my text as well. I think i should moved on and focus on myself. This is why I don't make friends. That's the worst feeling when they show you that you're not important to them and they only talking to you because they're feeling bored. Sometimes they show interest and pretend they care. I feel like i spend too much of my emotion on a wrong person. Well I don't think I'm going to continue talking to them.
I’m an extrovert and love meeting people, but… my anxiety disorder (generalized) makes it hard for me to meet, and keep, friends because I don’t always feel comfortable going certain places or can’t make it because I’m having a hard day. It’s made me feel extremely lonely and cut off from society. I also, stay home with older kids, so there aren’t any playdate opportunities, anymore. To make things more difficult, our family relocates for work about every 2 years. So, I’m constantly starting over (with everything).
Lack of proximity is the major hurdle for people on Disability hence the further failure to recover for those without the money $$ and or means to even mix with people.
Such good timing! Going to a meet up I've been to a few times now already but I still get really nervous and debated not going. This convinced me to keep my end goal in mind and go today! Thank you :)❤
I found out I'm on the autistic spectrum in my 40's - it explained so much of who I am and how awkward social connections have always been. I've always been in the mood of 'I want to meet new people, have new friends, hang out with them .... but I also can't leave the comfort of my home and the silence of solitude'. People are exhausting - I know this because I myself am very exhausting. I wish I could have text message friends just to start with.
I also do feel the same. On one side i want to meet new people have fun with them, at the same time I think i would hate it , idk if I'm jealous of them, do u want a text friend?
Even in college making friends is so hard!
Making friends is super easy, however distinguishing true friendship vs acquaintances & maintaining all those relationships is the real hard part.
It's not super easy.
Best thing I did was delete my FB account. I usually felt lousy after being on or using it. Been off over a month now. I notice I'm doing better at taking care of myself and random chores around the house. Plus I've been a little happier over all.
I love this video! You're always relatable and you gave some great advice in this one that i definitely needed.
Thank you for this video! It helped me feel confident and secure in what I’m doing to make friends ❤
This video was perfect for me because I’ve been thinking a lot about how to make new friends. What has definitely helped are a couple of Facebook groups I’m in. One group is a sports group I’ve been in for about 10 years. I’ve gotten to know the people that are in that group as we share a common interest of sports. The other I’ve been a member of for a year is about a faith we share. We have definitely become friends and a great community. I have a couple of friends outside of the internet world, but mostly text them. The friendships I’ve developed (particularly in the group where we share a similar faith) are amazing! I also have a couple of people I would consider friends via Twitter. Friendship is soooo amazing and needed!
I needed this video! I’m about to move to a new state and I want to make new friends
I thought I had true friends. But I learned recently I was just delusional 🙃 focusing on myself now and not worrying about friendships anymore
Less drama that way 🙏
Amazing video! I guess this is happening a lot in India as well. People are quite workaholic and barely get any time to make friends outside their workplace. Especially it's a big problem with the introvert club. A little request from my side is, could you please make a video on how to get rid of phone addiction and take hold of our real lives once again? Thank you!
Not sure if someone has brought this up already, the part about speaking to people in queues or when you are waiting for something.... Just want to say before you try this, make sure you are aware that not everyone will want to talk. Know that isn't because of you or what you are saying but it is how the other person is feeling at the time. It is ok for the other person not to want to engage and if they seem to feel uncomfortable or not wanting to chat then end the convo politely but don't let it stop you trying to talk to someone different another time because it equally might make someone's day!
Really appreciate the message at the end regarding the goal of putting ourselves in spaces where repeated proximity can happen, then noticing connections and pursuing the ones that feel right.
I've been trying to make new friends through my kids' events as gatherings begin to become more common again.
Thank you for the tips!
These tips were extremely helpful. I appreciate you!❤
Making friends is so hard !!
I know right?!!? Ugh!!
Nice timing as finding friends was on my mind lately. I've moved to another country last year and even though I can speak the language it still feels isolating -- there's still a language barrier of some sorts I'd say. Doesn't help that I'm introverted, too. I was debating whether I should go to an event tomorrow maybe I'll take this video as a sign to go there, who knows
i didn’t make friends in school. i am asd. i got picked on in school. i’v also mostly gotten picked on in the work force including the entire time i was in the military. i’m happy to stay at the house, people don’t pick on you that way.
This was well timed. My word for the year is confident. Ready to add more friends to chill with as part of that confidence.
Thank you for this. As an adult similar in age to you I feel it so hard to make new friends
I've been watching your videos lately and they are very helpful thank you
Thank you, Kati. I'm pretty shy and this video helped.
I am so glad :) xoxo
Thanks!
Hi Connie, thank you! Have a great week :)
This makes me feel like less of a weirdo for being solitary.
Hey Kati, I was able to make some friends (thanks for your tips! :D), but I wonder how do you "evolve" these friendships? For example, how can one of your friends become that best friend that you might be looking for? I would be really happy, if you could make a video about that. :)
Thank you so much for all your videos, you are helping so many people with these!
Time and proximity
Great idea for a follow-up video. Also, I tend to be more invested with new friendships than the other person is, so I wonder if I’m doing something off-putting, without knowing it. That would make an interesting addition to your idea 💡
Active listening
@@elle_from_cawa-li9061 Thanks. :) Yes, I can relate to that, sometimes it's really hard to not cross a line, especially if you're excited about someone new you met. Would be an interesting topic for that video as well. :D
Good morning Kati! This video was great! I was surprised to find that I'm actually better at making friends as an adult than I was when I was younger. I typically make friends online, rather than in person. Facebook groups are a wonderful way to meet people. I am moving to a new state this fall and already have two new friends!
Yay!! I am so glad you've had success with Facebook groups!!! Thank you so much for sharing and I am glad you enjoyed the video! xoxo
Hey can you share how to make friends through facebok groups. I mean which groups to go to?
My BIGGEST obstacle I found making new friends (and this has been going on since my late 20s) is that other women I talk to and have shared interests, when I ask "Hey let's grab coffee and talk, maybe we can go to (shared interest) together". They always say "I can't I have kids". I don't have kids (didn't have any because of endometriosis and had surgery), so I'm not sure what to do.
I honestly think it's better to be "alone" less drama to deal with and I get to self reflect a lot on how I'm feeling why I feel the things I do and people are so exhausting to talk to honestly so I think it's better to be "alone"
Spoken like someone who isn't truly alone
If "drama" comes to mind when you think of friends. You are choosing the wrong people.
💯💯💯
If there's too much drama, it's either you or the people you choose (which kinda still points back to you). I've learned this about myself the hard way. I connected with people with problems and soon they became my problems. I grew up in a tumultuous household so this was what was familiar and comfortable to me. I also caused drama by being too fearful of being direct or assertive with the people involved. Instead I talked to other friends about it, with the belief I was getting advice or venting. This never solved the problem with the person who was actually involved. It just basically became me trash talking the other people and complaining all the time. I also found myself easily bored with calm, chilled out people. To me they didn't appear to have any passion for life or sense of adventure. While not all those who appear exciting and fun are the ones with all the drama, there is a higher concentration of them in that category. Just be careful and listen to what comes out of their mouth before deciding if they are good for you or bad.
I don't trust people enough to have any friends. Never had one as an adult.
This is a problem that I struggle with and there's one current situation that I don't know what to do about. Every time my partner and a few of our friends are going to see a film we go to the Pizza Hut next door to the cinema and usually run into the same server, I've had several conversations with them about what film we're going to see and about Marvel and DC superheroes. However, because the new system is to order through the app on your phone, I never get to know the server's name (none of the employees wear nametags) as when they took orders in person it would have the servers name on the bottom of the recipit; and it's been so long that I feel awkward asking their name and introducing myself as well, let alone swapping contact info to chat outside of these instances.
I REALLY appreciate all of these awesome tips. I started trauma therapy last July and got a concrete diagnosis of ADHD (and that unlocked a whole new level of understanding myself).
That said, as a woman with ADHD - I have no friends. I can easily make friends, but sustaining is the hardest part for me, and I don't know why.
I am terrible at keeping in contact with people, even through texting or messaging, and I have a very difficult time holding myself accountable to it. I feel guilty. I feel ashamed. And I feel misunderstood.
Adding a working memory issue into the making-friendship-mix, is another level of difficulty.
Sounds like you're on a trail of self discovery, something to be proud of for sure. I took a pitstop somewhere on that trail myself, but stories like yours reminds me that others out there feel similarly and it is possible to take the next step. Thank you for sharing.
I don’t remember you mentioning going to church. You meet alot of wonderful like minded people in church.
It would be nice if you could make videos on critical illnesses. I went through bladder removal last December to fight bladder cancer but then in January this year I went into septic shock. Spent the month in the hospital. I'm realizing that I'm now dealing with some parts of post-sepsis syndrome. The mental/emotional side of all this is hard and complex.
These are such great tips! Thanks so much! 😊
At uni I was trying to cram before a test by watching the recorded lecture at 2x speed while sitting outside the classroom. The guy next to me looked over and realized that we were doing the same thing. We’ve been friends since, and we’re both still bad students lol
I've met 2 of my 3 closest friends online. The first one was 22 years ago whilst we were expecting our babies. Back then most ppl thought that was crazy.
A few years later I started to play World of Warcraft and met a lot of great friends through that. I have had parties at my house in Sweden with people from Sweden, Denmark, England, Germany, Netherlands, and whatnot. 30-40 ppl I'd never met IRL.
Most recently I've met friends via Facebook and parent/support groups. However, most live far apart and ain't friends I meet IRL regularly.
Some are friends for a shorter period and others I stay in touch with for a long time.
I don't want to make friends. My past experiences have shown me I'm not good at making good decisions, so I'm better on my own.
Hire a coach or see a therapist
Really helpful video!
Hey Kati, I was wondering if you could share a few tips for how to actually talk to people. I know it sounds weird but I never know what to ask or say to people and I find that after talking about the weather and some small talk I quickly run out of things to say. Even though I try to go out and chat my mind just goes blank and I feel like I have nothing in common with anyone 😢
I'm reading comments here and I have to wonder. What's your secret, you happy fulfilled lonely people? I've been very lonely for the last year or so, and while I can take solitude better than most, there are obviously side effects which I think are.. universal? Like I lose all sense of purpose, my thoughts become darker, I become kind of hopeless and down all the time. I cope but it's not easy and not blissful. Am I missing something?
Wow, Kati! That was a great video. My interest in the subject matter was not so much for myself as it was to keep in touch with a subject I almost majored in when I was in school. I ended up getting my degree in sociology instead. But I still have enough interest in psychology to find well presented videos like yours fun to watch.
Thanks so much for sharing all this, I grew up an introvert and been progressing this last year getting out of my comfort zone.
I'd like to kindly request a topic for upcoming videos
Why are some people selective on who they allow into their life as friends?
I was like that growing up and still feel that way. I look forward to learning.
Great video and such helpful tips!
My oldest daughter has friends and I try to make friends with my daughters friends mom's and they are my good friends and we have our kids talk about and have play date with our kids while us moms talk and hang out ❤ so that's a great way to if your a mom or dad 😊
Thank you so much.
I realize I am not problem to make friends, but I am having problems making close friends. As an introvert living in another culture I do not especially enjoy, it is a real challenge.
It's harder to make friends when you're older, since you see more people at school or college. You can also try to join courses or clubs, which can lead you to like minded people.
Agreed!! It is harder as we get older.. and courses or clubs, or even joining a gym or yoga studio can help too!! xoxo
The thing about taking a class is that pretty much all of the other people who attend are trying to make friends too
as i can understand in english language the word friend has very loose meaning. Everybody you know called a friend. But to be honest people at school never were friends.People at work the same. It was just forced proximity as has been mentioned. I always smile when i hear possible number of friend. 5 or 10 or smth. Obviously they are just acquaintances. It is virtually impossible to maintain real freindship with more than 2 ppl except a spouse. But nothing to be sad about. its more than enough.
It's hard for me, I have social anxiety so it's really hard to reach out to people. I want to make new friends, but don't. As every time I make a new friend, over the time they just insult me and put me down and make me feel bad, so why bother?! I do wish I had a woman friend to do girly things with.... but don't want the put downs and insults!
I know you don't do reaction videos. But.
JINJER - "Wallflower" is about what you speak of.
Please continue what you do!
I have tried all of these steps and it’s not yet helped. It’s been a lot of my 20’s alone unless I am dating someone. I hope that this changes someday ❤
I met my most recent friends online in a forum. There you know you share some interests (in my case music) and I developed some pretty good friendships from there.
Reminds me, that we didn't have a targeting since Covid started.
I am so glad Christoph!! xoxo
I have two friends. It's how I roll
we don't make friends sitting at home watching television. Ya don't say! But even going out it's not easy. and how hard could it be for a young attractive woman like you who is also a therapist and skilled in the ins and outs of human relations! I should be so lucky!
Making friends as an adult is hard! On top of that I have ADHD, I work from home, and love being home! I am not an introvert, I rather identify myself as an ambivert. I do love and enjoy going out with one or two people, I can even take a small group. Usually I am the life of the party or the circle, but once home, I need my "me" time, my "down" time... Anyway, you seem a really nice person and someone who "gets it"! Let me know if you want a new friend from the UK! 🙏👋
I love that UA-cam actually has useful videos now instead of vague shit like 10 years ago
terima kasih telah berbagi tips...sangat bermanfaat..
I don't have a problem with being alone , I talk to people online 😂
The best way the make friends is to be one...
That's soooooo true!
@@Katimorton you are an amazing human being...
A long time ago,
I was told
That I’d never fit in
Never succeed
Never prosper
Never make it
Or win
That I wasn’t welcome
That being me was just wrong
That I didn’t matter
I didn’t belong
I may be crazy
You may think I’m dumb
But I've always danced to the beat
Of my own drum
I’ll be true to me
Just be
No matter the cost
Just remember
Not all who wander
Are truly lost
I’ll never get ahead
I’m never gonna win
Just being me
Is my original sin
So, I seem broken
My life a mess
But that depends on how
You define success
They tell you to stay in line
Conform
Mind your place
But I wake up every morning
With a smile on my face
I could care less bout the games
We’re supposed to all play
What rules we’re to follow
What norms to obey
Id rather weird
Be loud and stand out
Then nervous
And anxious
And riddled with doubt
I could care less
I don’t give damn
If there’s one thing, I’m sure of
It’s who that I am
I can be happy
In this mortal shell
I’ve been through so much
I’ve walked through hell
But I’ll never gave in
I refused to stop
Even if I never
Come out on top
I'll fight to the last
Just for the right to exist
I own my past
I'll thrive, I’ll resist
I'll ignore lies
I refuse to be anything else
I'll just be me
Stay true to myself
All these battles
The struggles I’ve fought
I’ve always remembered
You’re only as free, as strong
As your thoughts
We build these prisons
In our minds
Of who we are
How we’re defined
We let other convince us
Of who we should be
How we should think
How we should see
Life’s to short
To not be true
There’s too much
To lose
To not just be you
It's you who decides
How your battles are won
When you push on
When the battle is done
At the end of the day
Through the pain
The regrets
All the stress
You’re the only person
You should strive to impress
Everything you’ve overcome
All you’ve been through
In the end
All you need
All you have
Is you
I have nothing to prove
To this society
And I’m truly happy
Just being me
We don’t get to choose
The hand that we’re dealt
In the end all that matters
Is loving yourself
So, no matter what happens
What dreams my come
Follow your heart
Be happy
And dance to your drum…
I always get school anxiety everyday in the morning and I get failing grades and I don’t pay attention In class cause the classes are hard. I don’t have friends or have a relationship.
+Katimorton *Being a Kannerite for all my five-plus decades on Earth - I's diagnosed in infancy - I had the odds of developing relationships of **_any_** depth stacked against me.* Consistently with the majority autistic, I'd historical problems with emotional disabilities frustrating social development. Organic friendships? Not in my case. Most o' the lessons learned over the past five decades, frustratingly, weren't backported to the senior end o' the Autism Spectrum. It was only by sheer chance that I ran into a social and emotional development program with no age limits and no prerequisites:
Gutstein and Sheely's design-patented Relationship Development Intervention Program, supported through The Connections Center, Houston, TX, USA, whitherinto I entered 27 December 2022 as a Novice - yes, even senior citizens can be Novices in RDI. Frustratingly, Meta Platforms hasn't a neurodivergency filter for facebookⓇ Datingᵀᴹ, so I cannot limit potential others to known autistic of 50+ years age in East Contra Costa and/or Stockton and/or Mountain House, CA, USA.
I think I must be a freak because I have joined numerous classes and clubs, done loads of volunteer work but I never make friends that I see out of that context. We are all friendly when we are in class or volunteering together, but everyone already has too many friends already or are busy with their families and don't want to meet up socially.
I gave up trying to make friends. They start so friendly and so kind. They wind up evil, abusive, hateful, and opportunistic. This is why I have no friends. For the sake of safety, and avoiding abuse, I just opted out of friendship. "friends," do not like my very passive, quiet, and aloof ways once they get to know me. Not all can have friends. It just haolemed to fall upon me to be of the few people that can not have friends. However, I accept it. Most people that can not have friends will still try to force having them and make themselves miserable. I accepted and do not feel as bad as they do.
I used online apps, two things happened:
1. Met a person who I really talked with a while, and there was potential, but then my phone got stolen, and lost the app...
2. Attracted only scammers(I'm sooo ugly!!).
I feel like im too selfish for friends or relationships. "Dating" myself is very needy lol. don't have anything left to give anyone else.
I'm autistic this makes it even harder for me to make new friends.
Great video Katie
Thanks James :)
Making friends is literally impossible if you live in a small town in Sweden (people in this country mostly just stick to their already existing friend groups.. especially in smaller towns). There are literally no opportunities for adults in my town whatsoever.. only for kids, teens, and old people.