The #1 Barrier to Making Friends as an Adult
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- Опубліковано 14 кві 2022
- Join us as our host, George Kamel, talks to Dr. John Delony, a Ramsey Personality, bestselling author, mental health expert and the host of The Dr. John Delony Show. John explains why the best leaders lead themselves first. We talk about what leading yourself means and share some daily practices you can use to grow yourself as a leader. Later in the episode, George and John dive into the importance of friendships and the danger of loneliness in leadership.
You’ll learn:
• The most important person you need to lead
• Where true leadership begins
• The problem with achievement
• The No. 1 barrier to making friends as an adult
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This might be the best video I’ve ever seen. Wow you were talking right to me
I am one of those people (unfortunately) who has been abandoned my whole life eg my parents upped and moved to a different country; I have close friends for years - suddenly they move to a different part of the country and I never hear from them again; a close girlfriend stops emailing - no rhyme or reason; partners who can't get enough of me - then after several years they vanish. I've come to the conclusion that it's better just to have casual friendships ie go out for coffee/film/theatre/pub quiz and the rest of the time just get by solo as best you can.
I don't know the context of why your parents moved away, but I know I grew up with a close network of friends and a similar thing happened to me; as we became adults, they started to disappear. But it's not completely without reason.
1) Life just took us in different directions and we don't cross paths anymore; no one planned to do this, but based off our career and relationship choices, we weren't put in situations that allowed us to see each other easily, and so we really have to go out of our way to plan for some time together.
2) We all have new priorities; some of my friends have spouses or families now, so that's where their attention is. Some friends (myself included) our very focused on our career goals; it's not that we ever stopped caring about each other, it's just that we have more responsibilities now than we did when we were younger.
3) Out of sight, out of mind. The truth is, when you don't see certain people or things regularly, your mind doesn't think about them. Again, many of my friends have other people in their lives that they see every day, so I'm probably not going to be the first person they think about, and most of them have someone to go to when they "do" feel lonely. If you're like me (single with no close friends), then you might be fine while you're distracted with pursuing your goals, but the "lonely" times are tough cause there's no one "just for you".
You mentioned casual friends being better; if you're more extroverted, that may be sufficient for you, but for me, casual relationships are more draining than fulfilling.
The hardest thing about love is the same thing that makes it so special: it doesn't always return.
It hurts to try and make a connection, only for it to lead to nothing. But, it's also the greatest assurance ever to know you care about someone, and they care about you back.
For me personally, I think I'm entering a new phase of life, and I can either keep trying to rekindle the friendships of the past, or I can step into a new chapter and pursue to make new friendships that are meaningful and worthwhile. And, in order to do that, I plan to start joining some "clubs" or "events" for adults around my age; something based on my interests (like music, martial arts, or climbing), that I can participate in to meet other people and work towards something together. It's gonna take time, and if something doesn't work, I'll just try something different for the next season, all the while enjoying the journey along the way.
Anyway, sorry to write you a book, but I hope it sparks some ideas and helps you out! It's good to learn to be content in loneliness, but it's also worth taking time to invest in close relationships; it'll take time, but take action and enjoy the adventure!
my friend rejected me when I had bad time
I would love to help you with the couch. But I have no friends. 🙁
Sharing the good stuff is much more complicated than it looks, I stopped sharing the good things with my family because they would always try to diminish my accomplishments... There is this jelousy now a days in wanting what the other has instead of being happy for them. 🥲