I literally can't get this COW ARMY to die.

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  • Опубліковано 23 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 582

  • @florians9949
    @florians9949 Рік тому +1380

    “I got Johnson hidding in the trees”
    Johnson: *screams as loudly as posible*

    • @Jacob-er1tt
      @Jacob-er1tt Рік тому +19

      change this to Johnson please

    • @ZeroFormLak
      @ZeroFormLak 11 місяців тому +16

      Aye as long as he hides his body they will think he is just a giant screaming tree

  • @jackakimbo5718
    @jackakimbo5718 Рік тому +1526

    Ah yes, nature's greatest ambush predator: the cow

    • @philipslice6273
      @philipslice6273 Рік тому +113

      That's why farmers put those bells around the cows necks, otherwise they'd sneak up on everyone

    • @Bloodlyshiva
      @Bloodlyshiva Рік тому +38

      @@philipslice6273 It;s true though. They're quieter than you'd think.

    • @KTdaDon2
      @KTdaDon2 Рік тому +9

      I read this in David Attenborough's voice for some reason

    • @pBeerenBild
      @pBeerenBild Рік тому +1

      More people die from cow attacks every year than from shark attacks. You don‘t fuck with mobile milk.

    • @50RatsinaCoat
      @50RatsinaCoat Рік тому +2

      One of my favourite comments this year

  • @danletko
    @danletko Рік тому +927

    22:03 Minotaur hits a trebuchet so hard that he flies away

    • @szymonrozanski6938
      @szymonrozanski6938 Рік тому +94

      A force generates an equal force in the other direction.
      The Minotaur simply hit so hard, it couldnt handle its own power.

    • @Xaders1
      @Xaders1 Рік тому

      wich leaves a philosophical debate: Is he strong, or is he weak?@@szymonrozanski6938

    • @BigBadGrizzlyB
      @BigBadGrizzlyB Рік тому +8

      I saw that too haha

    • @chopstickSH
      @chopstickSH Рік тому +9

      i missed that hahah :-D

  • @Achillez098
    @Achillez098 Рік тому +214

    "CAN ANYONE PROVIDE ME WITH A DECENT CHALLENGE?!"
    -Taurox, the Lu Bu of Warhammer

  • @JaySwag77
    @JaySwag77 Рік тому +496

    I love how you were like "what would make this campaign better? Ah yes, let me take the dwarf's slayer oath and seek death in glorious battle."

  • @Prophet-of-the-Unknown-Lord
    @Prophet-of-the-Unknown-Lord Рік тому +392

    This should seriosuly be canon. A rampaging beastmen carnage climaxing in a final showdown with Skarbrand to decide who is Khorne's favorie, blood-red sky and head-to-head duel with him and multiple bloodthirsters included. Absolutely glorious!

    • @WeaponizedStrumpet
      @WeaponizedStrumpet Рік тому +37

      Well, at least it would be better than the Endtimes.

    • @svartrbrisingr6141
      @svartrbrisingr6141 4 місяці тому +14

      @@WeaponizedStrumpet anything is better then the end times

  • @JJS563
    @JJS563 Рік тому +37

    "The sisters of stupid fucking elves or whatever they are called"
    I spat coffee out

  • @brandor763
    @brandor763 Рік тому +382

    The Cygor and Ghorgon are mutated minotaurs. You can use them.

    • @steelbear2063
      @steelbear2063 11 місяців тому +7

      And beastmen are mutated Humans, so?

    • @brandor763
      @brandor763 11 місяців тому

      Woooosh​@@steelbear2063

    • @brandor763
      @brandor763 10 місяців тому +22

      ​@@steelbear2063went right over your head

    • @NikukaiFightOn
      @NikukaiFightOn 9 місяців тому +33

      @@steelbear2063 well it's a minotaur campaign, so them being minotaur is kind of relevant, no?

    • @brandor763
      @brandor763 9 місяців тому +17

      ​@@NikukaiFightOn THANK YOU

  • @keentrasborg2566
    @keentrasborg2566 6 місяців тому +19

    A Minotaur being asked what it wants to be called and it answering "Juan" was unexpectedly wholesome and I'm all here for it :D

  • @StealthoMan
    @StealthoMan Рік тому +123

    now you understand Gotreks pain, wanting to die but nothing is capable of killing you

    • @elite_rock_god2292
      @elite_rock_god2292 8 місяців тому +14

      Aaaah Gotrek, the worst slayer of all time and the greatest warrior of a age❤😂

    • @cyphi474
      @cyphi474 2 місяці тому

      What about poor Felix that has to write about it....

  • @thijsv948
    @thijsv948 Рік тому +287

    Imagine getting revived afterwards cause Khorne liked the way you've been fighting 😂

    • @Prophet-of-the-Unknown-Lord
      @Prophet-of-the-Unknown-Lord Рік тому +18

      That would actually be a cool mechanic!

    • @metalmaster6667
      @metalmaster6667 Рік тому +33

      I mean, Taurus got his brass skin from Khorne.

    • @spilleren9173
      @spilleren9173 Рік тому +41

      That's actually canon, I think. Taurox fought everyone, everywhere, all the time, until he fought so hard he got a heart attack. Then, since Khorne liked his guts, he got revived with a metal body, so that he's immune to heart attacks.

    • @metalmaster6667
      @metalmaster6667 Рік тому +35

      ⁠@@spilleren9173Almost correct: he fought everyone because he bit off the head of a chaos-ambassador and got mad. Or more mad than before.

    • @OMNISSIAH-VERY-GREAT
      @OMNISSIAH-VERY-GREAT Рік тому +11

      Made me remember Tuska Daemon-Killa

  • @simonnachreiner8380
    @simonnachreiner8380 Рік тому +131

    “Seek out the worst possible situation and dive into them”
    Cow hath become Slayer

  • @sassyviking6003
    @sassyviking6003 Рік тому +86

    Knowing the lore of taurox, being ultimately defeated by skarbrand is such a poetic and fitting end. The only way to slay one of the blood god's greatest champions is with another of the blood god's greatest champions.

  • @lostnumber08
    @lostnumber08 Рік тому +22

    "I can do just like real life cows do, attack from the trees." Magnificent.

  • @zodbones
    @zodbones Рік тому +277

    Taurox is such a monster of a character.
    I remember one fight against elves that should've been a defeat.
    Lost everyone, but Taurox against a full stack and somehow he won by himself.

    • @stevengull6703
      @stevengull6703 Рік тому +36

      Oh yeah Taurox doesn't need an army after level 10-20. Once he hits that strength the army is just there because why not.

    • @neildeeley4177
      @neildeeley4177 Рік тому +8

      So just unbalanced nonsense then

    • @tazbom2470
      @tazbom2470 Рік тому +73

      @@neildeeley4177 Who cares about balance in singleplayer game lol

    • @tomxipe
      @tomxipe Рік тому

      me ok !!!! i care !! ok ??????? shut up !!@@tazbom2470

    • @BaxstabberzZ
      @BaxstabberzZ Рік тому +53

      ​@neildeeley4177 Taurox in the lore could 100% do this.
      Game is as much about the lore as it is about balance.

  • @Marbo12f
    @Marbo12f Рік тому +41

    Taurox looks up at Skarbrand and host of Bloodthristers, his face of perpetual rage giving way to grin.
    "You defeated me, Champion of the Blood God...with help".

  • @TraneGraffMaster
    @TraneGraffMaster Рік тому +89

    Now imagine this if you get Sword of Khaine. When Taurox was released in Totalwarhammer 2 you could’ve get it in like 6 to 10 turns. Managed to do this and went for a world domination campaign

    • @dudebro2638
      @dudebro2638 3 місяці тому +8

      Turns out when you give the baddest Minotaur to ever exist the Sword of Khaine, hilarity and death ensues

  • @Tachii31
    @Tachii31 Рік тому +11

    4:25 I always love the way you bring real life tactics into your campaigns.

  • @manuelramospetruchena4620
    @manuelramospetruchena4620 Рік тому +66

    That was fantastic. Beautiful. A beefy campaign with a heroic end. Alas.. I have to highlight two things.
    1. You were lucky messing up with Nurgle. Imagine what mad cow disease could have done to your army. The gods were on your side.
    2. You missed a HUGE opportunity. Michael Johnson? Juan? Uncle Bernard? THEY WERE ALL MEANT TO BE COWBOYS!! Had they been Buffalo Bill, Billy the Kid, Jesse James, Butch Cassidy, this would've been perfect.
    Weirdest cow level from Diablo 2, but for sure fun. Cheers Zerk!

  • @Wicked414
    @Wicked414 Рік тому +10

    This is now my headcannon for when Skarbrand gets one of those random events where he can either duel the doom bull or kill his minotaurs

  • @morte2504
    @morte2504 Рік тому +116

    Zerk literally took a Slayer Oath out of boredom

  • @Kenshin188
    @Kenshin188 Рік тому +13

    I have tears rolling down my face at his bits over the names

  • @boricns
    @boricns Рік тому +90

    i've never play beast man cuz you know... "BRING ME TO MY MEN" but might have to try them now after this :D

    • @Contractkillamax
      @Contractkillamax Рік тому +15

      After their rework, they are one of the best factions, in my opinion. No diplomacy or economy. Just heardstones and blood.. and cows xD

    • @Cpt_yerrick176
      @Cpt_yerrick176 Рік тому +4

      Why do people love the empire this much ? I don't get it.

    • @Contractkillamax
      @Contractkillamax Рік тому

      @@Cpt_yerrick176 They like men.. probably ;D

    • @callumcochrane7759
      @callumcochrane7759 Рік тому +5

      ​@@Cpt_yerrick176Vanilla people like the vanilla faction. But at least they're not the French.

    • @morgothbauglir8706
      @morgothbauglir8706 Рік тому

      ikr? its literally the most boring faction you can pick from all of these options@@Cpt_yerrick176

  • @tristeneagles
    @tristeneagles Рік тому +29

    Completely Lore-accurate Taurox playthrough

  • @TubeTAG
    @TubeTAG 11 місяців тому +5

    13:38 So your Minotaurs have become Slayers. Nice.

  • @BertShackleford
    @BertShackleford Рік тому +40

    This was thoroughly entertaining!
    Thought I was just going to skip around such a lengthy video as per usual. Instead, I found myself watching the entire saga.
    Well done Zerk.
    Stay classy my friend.

    • @williammitchell6254
      @williammitchell6254 Рік тому +5

      "Lengthy video" "saga" bro its not even half an hour long.

    • @BertShackleford
      @BertShackleford Рік тому +1

      @@williammitchell6254 You must be a blast at parties _IF_ you even get invited.
      Stay classy my friend.

  • @Kiltlord
    @Kiltlord Рік тому +4

    Funniest line of 2023 right here
    "This will make my army like what's in your underwear, small but powerful."

  • @draketurtle4169
    @draketurtle4169 Рік тому +5

    That intro clip is perfection, at first you think he got launched into them, then it’s hmm He is charging into them but no he just decided to leap into the enemy and do a roll because he can.

  • @TheMightyNaryar
    @TheMightyNaryar Рік тому +25

    Full Minobus is the only proper way to play Taurox.
    Or well, it's always very strong as any beastmen faction(though for the other LL's you might just get a doombull instead for your full cow stack instead), but the other lords have other shenanigans that might make your endgame different (Morghur for the monster/spawn doomstacks or lord only doomstack, Khazrak for the full vanguard infantry/chariot ambush strike force, etc.), but more importantly it is fun.
    I never get tired of minotaurs rolling through infantry blobs.

    • @Monochromatic_Spider
      @Monochromatic_Spider 10 місяців тому +1

      Khazrak is usually always a wargor spam stack for me. Having a whole bunch of single entity chariots is so much fun. Not really optimal for dueling single entities, but infantry just melts and it's not like cavalry has the stats to really deal with that many single entities either.

  • @Dhopamine
    @Dhopamine Рік тому +2

    22:02 a minataur in the back charges, hits a trebuchet, bounces off, and flies away, never to be seen again

  • @catman-hi5cn
    @catman-hi5cn 7 місяців тому +3

    “For you, Taurox, the day Khorne destroyed your army and ended your streak was the most important day of your life. For me, it was Tuesday,” -Skarbrand

  • @Everhardt94
    @Everhardt94 Рік тому +11

    This video has everything a good Total War: Warhammer video needs.
    Elf pain and suffering.
    Elf humiliation and defeat.
    And elf multiple deaths.

  • @Reptonious
    @Reptonious Рік тому +4

    Been a long time since I've seen anything from the channel, this is an awesome evolution for you Zerkovich

  • @charleslister8465
    @charleslister8465 Рік тому +7

    Great work - love the names and the commentary - masterful stuff

  • @lionman8295
    @lionman8295 8 місяців тому +4

    I just got this video the day of the revealing that the Beastmen were leaving AoS. Rest in peace Beastmen of Chaos… 😢

  • @bartdebruijn4599
    @bartdebruijn4599 5 місяців тому +1

    "Many Elves will be harmed in the making of this video" .... well, that's what we're here for! :D

  • @Iymarra
    @Iymarra Рік тому +2

    The glee in "everybody's fucked!" gave me quite the giggle.

  • @denel7
    @denel7 6 місяців тому +1

    the effort you take for this video just perfect and your humour is astounding, you gained new subscriber.

  • @alekseygee5228
    @alekseygee5228 Рік тому +4

    You have the makings of a Slayer. A Slayer only playthrough that is. Seek death!

  • @holdencross5904
    @holdencross5904 Рік тому +73

    Love your content bud. Can you do a full cav army as the lizards?

    • @Hasdrubhaal
      @Hasdrubhaal Рік тому +2

      Stack of dread saurus 😩🥵

    • @Supercohboy
      @Supercohboy Рік тому +1

      I'd love to see a Lizardmen Missile Monsters only campaign, personally. It would be very vulnerable but very powerful, especially if he allowed heroes/lords on mounts.
      I just want to watch someone more capable use the skirmisher missile lizards so I can learn from their ways tbh, the firespitters and armor-piercing spike throwers are cool but they feel like they fall off hard in the long game.

  • @tbotalpha8133
    @tbotalpha8133 8 місяців тому +2

    I like how your rampage almost circumnavigated the entire world.

  • @fiveforbiting
    @fiveforbiting Рік тому +2

    Crazy ambush potential. Zerk is clearly elite at playing "Hide the Beef."

  • @nuadai
    @nuadai Рік тому +1

    As another cow from another game would say:
    "You can't milk those!"
    And also:
    "STAMPEDE!!!"

  • @brianlammers9283
    @brianlammers9283 Рік тому +14

    F in chat for the Beefcake crew.

  • @fredericcharbonneau6570
    @fredericcharbonneau6570 Рік тому +3

    COW BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD , COW SKULL FOR THE SKULL THRONE !!!!!!

  • @Zygmunto
    @Zygmunto Рік тому +2

    2:20 moment of silence for my welsh homies out there named Aafwub

  • @aggrisabernathy8770
    @aggrisabernathy8770 Рік тому +3

    You should name Juan to the Everchosen, so he can be the chosen Juan.

  • @Soggy2002
    @Soggy2002 Рік тому

    2:11 "To begin the buffing up of my cows."
    I think you mean the beefing up of your cows.

  • @blahtheotter1512
    @blahtheotter1512 Рік тому +2

    only what made the unstoppable cow could unmake it, poetic

  • @lordofcreation3498
    @lordofcreation3498 Рік тому +14

    I wonder if the ghorgon would fit in this build

  • @michaelholtmann2350
    @michaelholtmann2350 Місяць тому

    Archaon thinking he's going to bring the world to its knees only to see a horde of cows at his doorstep must have been a haunting feeling. Never underestimate an army of cows hungry to be the conquerors lol

  • @OHA97
    @OHA97 Рік тому +9

    Now that i think of it shouldnt the chaos dwarfs like taurox? he is a cow and at least partially out of metal

    • @brandor763
      @brandor763 Рік тому +1

      Exactly!! That's what I thought!!

    • @oswaldrabbit1409
      @oswaldrabbit1409 7 місяців тому +1

      probably hate them because Chaos Undivided is muscling in on Hashut's domain.

  • @Schneggie87
    @Schneggie87 Рік тому +1

    I love a good taurox campaign! I always work towards a Minotaur/Gorgon/Cygor stack with him and nothing but bows in any other armies but I’ve never done it with JUST Minotaurs along the way

  • @GodlordBazi
    @GodlordBazi Рік тому +1

    Ah yes, I remember the good ol' days.
    Step 1: Recruit 19 gorebulls with nurgle's stink trait over the course of like 300 rounds
    Step 2: Win even harder.

  • @petars4449
    @petars4449 Рік тому +2

    A warbeast as big as 3 humans weilding monstorious weapons ready to feast on humans named: micheal johnson

  • @ariha2717
    @ariha2717 Рік тому +3

    Tomb kings only monsters, the statue army

  • @two-a-day130
    @two-a-day130 Рік тому +7

    Very cool video! Always enjoy your content!

  • @silifer
    @silifer Рік тому +1

    A year or two ago i tried making a minotaur army as beastmen in WTW2 back before the Bronze Bull dlc... even then it was a fucking blast to just go full bull

  • @edgarorube3641
    @edgarorube3641 Рік тому +1

    Khorne cares not from where the blood flows, only that it flows without cease for all eternity.

  • @ToogyMcGee
    @ToogyMcGee Рік тому

    Michael Johnson... You're videos are hilarious and actually have made the game more fun for me to play. Thank you!

  • @SquidwradThomas
    @SquidwradThomas 7 місяців тому

    2:06 he is the lisan ai agib! The one who will lead the way! The voice from the outer worlds!

  • @AnomalyINC
    @AnomalyINC Рік тому +3

    Getting bored because there's no challenge...
    Taurox became the One-Punch Bull.

  • @Thrall900
    @Thrall900 Рік тому

    'The sisters of stupid fucking elves or whatever they're called' made me lol that's exactly how I narrate my gameplay

  • @jasonhemphill8525
    @jasonhemphill8525 Рік тому

    " The Sisters of Stupid-Fucking-Elves or whatever their called"
    You're a treasure Zerk.

  • @TheGreatCharlie123
    @TheGreatCharlie123 Рік тому

    "the sisters of... stupid fucking elves or whatever their called..." - Zerkovich
    That's indeed what they are called, sir.

  • @tiktikboom2371
    @tiktikboom2371 Рік тому

    Lol “the sister of stupid fuckin elves” that caught me off guard haha 😂

  • @walter1383
    @walter1383 Рік тому

    Chaos Dwarfs, who worship a monstrous bull god, being destroyed by a tide of unstoppable bullmen is pretty poetic.

  • @bigl161985
    @bigl161985 Рік тому

    " More elves this is the best campaign I've ever played" !!! The elven faction felt that.

  • @NicoMorro
    @NicoMorro 16 днів тому

    Michael Johnson heard the call from the Herdstone and drop his binman gloves and his pack of mayfairs and heeded the call

  • @thegametroll6264
    @thegametroll6264 Рік тому

    I can honestly say that a taurox with a minotaur tribe build is UNSTOPPABLE! especially when he picks up the sword of khane. The warhammer world drops a planet sized turd when he does that. 😮

  • @x0lopossum
    @x0lopossum Рік тому +1

    Taurox in this campaign is just like Kaidou from One Piece, he can't be defeated no matter how much he tries.

  • @JanChristianSun
    @JanChristianSun 2 місяці тому

    I'm new to the game and I find your videos really entertaining. It gives me new ideas on how to enjoy the game. Looking forward to more videos :)

  • @spartnmarcen5110
    @spartnmarcen5110 Рік тому +1

    That was amazing. I figured Orks would give you a fight but then I remember their leadership is crap.
    You should do a Grimgor and Black Orks only. Go Raze the Empire and see if you can make it to the coast of Cathay!
    Lizards and salamanders/dinos only? (Kroq-Gar and Carnosaurs only?)

  • @brandor763
    @brandor763 Рік тому +3

    Want more minotaurs for the Beastmen??? Highly recommend the "Banegors and Bloodkines" and "Chaosbulls" mods. Theyre awesome!!! If you play Khorne, i reccomend "Exalted Minotaurs of Khorne" and "Khorgoth the Unleashed".

  • @cheanguon2769
    @cheanguon2769 Рік тому

    "This will make my army just like the content of your underwear. small but powerful"

  • @tobiashagstrom4168
    @tobiashagstrom4168 Рік тому +2

    Cows take the Slayer Oath - The Movie

  • @alexanderlejon9958
    @alexanderlejon9958 Рік тому

    If I remember correctly Gorgon and Cygor are minotaur subspecies according to army book lore. So you can use them also.

  • @AlexLorentzenloganjamesalex

    11:03 you almost sound like Bandit, the dad from the kids show Bluey when you say it's the best campaign you've ever played lmao

  • @baronvonjerch
    @baronvonjerch Рік тому

    The way you said "fucking Aafwub" killed me XD XD XD

  • @JarmamStuff
    @JarmamStuff 9 місяців тому

    A giant Khornate bull so devastating that he becomes the victim of his own success
    He gets bored with breaking things
    He takes the Slayer Oath and seeks death. Ends up the king of Karak Kadrin

  • @Helycon
    @Helycon 11 місяців тому

    One of skarbrands factions strongest doomstacks/armies you could make at all is their minotaur equivalent x18 with an exalted bloodletter and any lord so this is no surprise but still awesome

  • @ZazeH
    @ZazeH Рік тому +1

    A lot of elves where harmed in the process making this video. Literally all kinds of elfs...

  • @CalebAdams
    @CalebAdams Рік тому

    Love these types of videos man!! So much fun to watch haha

  • @kevinmastron6700
    @kevinmastron6700 7 місяців тому

    >1620 elves
    >60 brettonian knights
    >12 ents
    >undefended
    love ya mate

  • @BananaMystic
    @BananaMystic Рік тому +1

    Rofl
    "Turn me into hamburger Daddy Skarbrand"

  • @SGProductions87
    @SGProductions87 Рік тому

    The best part was Taurox fighting Skarbrand and a bunch of Bloodthirsters all at the same time. What a unit.

  • @atlasstoned
    @atlasstoned Рік тому +1

    very funny, i've been doing this exact cow campaign past couple days lol

  • @DevixianTheOriginal
    @DevixianTheOriginal Рік тому +1

    Dude you literally became a dwarf slayer by the mid mark XD

  • @arnelio357
    @arnelio357 Рік тому

    Never even thought that cows can oblitarate worlds best armies

  • @agps4418
    @agps4418 Рік тому

    Vampirates. So that's the background of the entire vampire coast roster. a pun.

  • @uunikaulus
    @uunikaulus Рік тому +1

    I haven't watched WH3 videos in a long time, but this was fun and reminded me why I have hundreds of hours in that game.

  • @nathanstruble2177
    @nathanstruble2177 Рік тому +1

    Ah yes, the well known Minotaur Slayer run

  • @Mornomgir
    @Mornomgir 10 місяців тому

    the new sitcom. Taurox, big phil and michael johnsons shenanigans.

  • @colmhain
    @colmhain Рік тому

    Ah, yes. Taurox the Slayer...(LOVES WHEATIES!!!)

  • @KnudAutlermann
    @KnudAutlermann Рік тому +1

    I couldnt think of a more fitting ending...

  • @mingelcoac
    @mingelcoac Рік тому +1

    I love those vidz! Can't wait for next campaign idea!

  • @notoffensivenpc8400
    @notoffensivenpc8400 7 місяців тому

    taurox is now the chaos counterpart of gotrek. i pray that in aos the two have the showdown they oh so clearly deserve

  • @beczkabrowca304
    @beczkabrowca304 Рік тому

    This camping was a truly nightmare for dwarf slayers, canot die is a curse XD

  • @gewhiz1494
    @gewhiz1494 Рік тому

    I have never had the contents of my underwear so accurately described.

  • @TotalWarPlaya
    @TotalWarPlaya Рік тому +1

    You could use the cow riders chaos dwarfs for the cow gimmick as well