As an ENTP, INFPs are amazing people from what I have seen, from what i can see you seem like a great person which doesn't surprise me. Fi by itself is not much of a problem, the problem is Fi with Te, which placed on the secondary and tertiary slots can cause a lot of selfishness. But not passive selfishness which is ok in my book, but rather active selfishness. People trying to impose their Fi through their Te unto others, and that is when there is a problem. I have seen several people with unhealthy Fi and it is nasty. But INFPs tend to live by live and let live, which is why I love your type so much. They are more likely to harm themselves than others, which is sad to watch.
All of Humanity is inherently selfish its just that everyone displays it differently and is only bad when we become so wrapped up in our own desires that we end up being hedonistic and ruin the deep bonds we've built with others. Brilliant video keep up the good work
everytime people misunderstand me for just being an INFP, to them i'd say "definitions belong to the definers not the defined." (a quote from Tony Morrison)
I totally agree with you about FE and FI and that we should be authentic and independent in our own lives, I’m INFP and sometimes FE can annoy me too. But just from a sociological perspective and according to my values, I think this view of selfishness is kind of dangerous. My dad (ISTP) holds that same view, and he uses it to justify selfishness which does harm other people. I believe it’s one of the problems with our society. The US is probably one of the most selfish societies in the world and we also have a high level of inequality. I think valuing selfishness harms people and society when it becomes institutionalized, because those who rise to the top do tend to value selfishness, and they also tend to not want to give others a chance. I think there need to be a balance. That’s is just what I think. But I definitely agree with you that personally we should pursue our own interests and respect ourselves! I really love your videos, thank you for making them!
Its a great topic! I wish all of society could see this video and understand it. I feel that a lot of people fall under the category where they give but expect things in return, and this truly is manipulation at its core. I would say its very close to blackmail, forcing someone to do something for you by "giving" them something.
Iron Feather That’s true, and the selfishness of this kind of manipulative giving is often overlooked. Giving with strings attached isn’t very satisfying for the giver and just makes the receiver feel guilty, resentful, or obligated.
Yes I am the only one who's Fi dom and I am really misunderstood when it comes to me feeling that for Fe uses a simple socially accepted reaction, for me its like a blackmail that everyone imposes and if I don't do it I am considered bad and self centered
I always thought the clash between us Fi users and the Fe users comes down to how we express love etc. For example, the Fe user will appreciate you calling them every day just to ask them how they are. Meanwhile, the Fi user will express love for a person by giving them space to finish their projects and not bugging them with what they think might be meaningless text messages. The Fi user might also use the time away from the Fe user to write a poem or make a piece of art to give them. However, the Fe user who hasn't received a text or email all week from the Fi user may feel unloved and not be in the mood to read the poem or look at the piece of art the Fi user has created as they thought about the Fe user. But then I could be wrong about that.
I feel like FI people just don't want to burden others with their problems, they aren't just looking out for themselves it is their way of empathy. They are focused on their feelings to help them relate to others while FE are more sympathetic and can feel bad for a person without relating themselves
ENTP here Fe tertiary. I have often times wondered this to. Especially when with my Fi friends in certain moments where they fail to consider others feelings or take others feelings into account. While I struggle from high self consciousness I think Fi is the opposite atleast at times.
I am focused on how I feel but I also have a lot of empathy. So for me to feel good I want harmony with others and want them to feel good as well. If I can make someone else feel good it makes me feel good. But the main reason I do it is technically to make myself feel good. Is that selfish? In a way maybe. Not that I actively go out of my way all the time. But then again I do not engage in typical selfish behavior like getting ahead of others at their expense, using others for my gain at their expense, etc. I really genuinely want everyone to feel good. So while my focus is in a way very self centered I do not think of myself as selfish. At least not in a negative way.
Yes, you explained it very well.mmSelfish is not the same thing, as caring for one’s self. Selfish is bad. Caring for one’s self, is the number one priority, within reason. I was with an INFP for years. We got along great. But she could sink so deeply into herself at times, I felt shut out. She was also very stubborn. But I adored her then, and adore her now and forever. -INFJ
I was an INTP for the longest time and just recently retook the test and got INFP as a result. i dunno if its due to maturing or just getting older. i love your videos and you are awesome and amazing 12/10
Getting a different result on an mbti test doesn’t necessarily mean you’re that type now. You could be in a different mood or gone through something that could skew your result. The best way to know your type for sure is to research about the cognitive functions. :) Thanks for the review! ❤️
I think you're confusing FE users as fake and being 'nice' and 'friendly' as being ungenuine. That's just wrooong. I'm an INFJ so my dominant functions are NI and FE so I'm introverted but I have extrovert energy because of my FE. I don't find joy in having ingenuine relationships and being a "fake nice". That's just a sad and depressing view of humanity it's like saying people can't be nice just because they can't get something out of it. I've been a people pleaser from a young age and it was because of my flawed childhood and conditioning not because I want to "get" something out of it (actually maybe most of the people pleasers that you know are like this) but as I grew, I realized it's unhealthy and it's causing harm to myself so please when something's being nice to you, use your own discretion if she/he is being nice to get something or she/he is being genuine. Not all people find joy in having ungenuine relationships.
You need to research and understand Fe more. You put a lot of good points, which I appreciate, rather majority of the people agrees that this kind of selfishness is good for anyone be it Fe or Fi. Fe can learn some positive aspects from Fi and vice-versa. But, here on this video I did not find anything of that sort talked about in this video. But, the question should be why do people find isfp selfish, what they do, is it actually selfish, does it really harm others and harm the relationships in the life of Fi user, did that Fi user take some lessons from that? If yes, then what steps did you take further, how did any such situation impacted your life and future relationships. Is there something that you can learn from a Fe user or try to incorporate something positive about them so that your future does not get affected by unintentional hurt to you and other important people in your life. We Fe users too learn a lot from you (those who don't start doing so). Being hardwired to be selfish does not mean that you cannot try to be selfless and learn from Fe users and being hardwired as selfless or putting self before others does not mean we should be try to improve and learn from Fi users how to positively be selfish so that we can put ourselves before others for our personal health and well. And yes, accepting yourself is a very good thing but improving your life is even better, believe me constant improvement and learning positive will make your life fulfilling. I never see any videos trying to be positive about things. This MBTI thing, people are using so negatively, like this is who Im to be, I am hardwired like this, I am suppose to be like this, its okay, that is how I justify all wrongs and rights that I do in my life. God has given everyone strengths and weakness, we can learn from other strengths to improve our weaknesses.
when i was in college i used to give my notes and my resources to my classmate and they'd copy my work ,out of love and just wanting to help others .. it was stupid i learnt my lesson, not everybody deserves that and they don't even remember that which idc about but one day i found that a colleague of mine made a very similar copy to my desgin and she showed it to our professor first so i was in a really bad situation , I've never really been selfish but i think if everybody is then i should be 🤷
I type inferior Fe but I was always the sort to be willing to risk or even give up my own life for someone else. I can't imagine anything else for myself, if I was not prepared to give up my own life then there would be nothing worth living for and I think that I also wouldn't be getting anything much out of my relationships in that case. It seems a little pitiful to me to hold on to your own life nails and claws, you're body is eventually going to perish anyways and if you live like that then you won't really be living. But I've also become more judicious in that there are many people out there who are not worth a sacrifice like that. Life teaches naive sorts like myself that people suck!
You really must have thought through this ... I hope that you realize that people cannot respond to something this deep, without allowing their own mind to track with you, prior to forming a response. And that would be A LOT of processing. But yeah, I don't think Fi is selfish. It's a logical given that an introvert will seek to know themselves so as to have a general understanding. Being geared to understand themselves first and foremost makes them see self awareness as the most effective tool to understand others. The depth that an introvert can think or feel almost requires them to limit the amount of information to process. eg. A very complex problem must, of necessity, be tackled by components. (So when a deluge of information is given to a deep thinking person, they must either be overwhelmed or tackle the basic components that individually make up the complexity.) This means that if you are prone to in depth analyses, it is more efficient to be Fi. In this sense self-awareness is not selfishness. Selfishness is a poetic foil to love: 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NASB [4] Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, [5] does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, [6] does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; [7] bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. [8] Love never fails; Selfishness falls short.... of at least one component of love in any given circumstance. Love mandates a personal cross in any given circumstance. Selfishness is inherently denying a cross for the sake of self.
I like the comparison with the airplane safety instructions, if we have to put the oxygen mask, we must think of us first, then the person next to us. Because if we passed out, we will not be able to help no ones... That's the same for ours needs, thinking of us, for us, would make us less frustrated and more respectful of ourselves. And then we will became a better person who will understand and respect the others people's needs. Thank you! It's an interesting subject 😘
BIG difference between selfishness and egoism. Could be that what the bible says is just a poor translation. Selfishness is a requirement in life and some other passage says to treat your body like a temple. But caring for others is its own reward too. It doesn't matter the subject, love yourself - love others, it both gets the heart going.
I see a lot of comments on MBTI pages about villains basically just filled with Fe-users waxing lyrical about how Fi is basically just evil. And the few villains they deem as Fe-users always get "Aww, such a wittle empath. They dindu nuffin." -.- It's funny because irl a lot of the most selfish people I've ever met are high Fe-users. "But how!?" Because those Fe-users were more concerned with how others perceive them rather than actually being good or decent people, which is selfish. Fe can be a deadly weapon in the hands of a narcissist, borderline etc. And those are the most selfish people of all, who this modern world (particularly the workplace - modern workplaces, jobsearching etc. is just the perfect environment for Cluster Bs) is designed for. And this is why everything is rotten now and why films, games, books etc. now are pretty much all terrible now.
Both pairs can also be inverse. Fi/Ti may keep problems away from family to keep the peace, that's selfless, and like OP said, Fe/Te gives with expectation, which is pretty damn selfish.
James Noriega I can make a video about this in the near (hopefully) future. Getting different results doesn’t mean your type changes, but it could be various things: the test wasn’t very well planned out, you took it in different moods, you answered questions as you wish you were instead of who you actually are, etc. Studying differences in the cognitive functions is the best way to really decide your type, as INFJ and ISTJ have different ones.
Fe doms are sort of invasive in a way. They get up in your grill and expect a positive facial reaction from you otherwise they judge you as selfish or wierd. From an intp perspective this is very annoying (a fake smile feels like death). Also when someone is high Fe i find that they are judging our interaction in terms of harmony even if its fake harmony. Whereas im trying to understand the meaning and ideas in the conversation. This makes me feel like we arent on the same wavelength. I do sympathise with Fe doms though i guess its not their fault and maybe i should learn to lighten up i dunno.
We are selfish in the sense that we just want a friend who cares about us as much as we care for them.
That’s true
I Don't Want To Set The World On Fire - by Ink Spots
As an ENTP, INFPs are amazing people from what I have seen, from what i can see you seem like a great person which doesn't surprise me. Fi by itself is not much of a problem, the problem is Fi with Te, which placed on the secondary and tertiary slots can cause a lot of selfishness. But not passive selfishness which is ok in my book, but rather active selfishness. People trying to impose their Fi through their Te unto others, and that is when there is a problem. I have seen several people with unhealthy Fi and it is nasty. But INFPs tend to live by live and let live, which is why I love your type so much. They are more likely to harm themselves than others, which is sad to watch.
All of Humanity is inherently selfish its just that everyone displays it differently and is only bad when we become so wrapped up in our own desires that we end up being hedonistic and ruin the deep bonds we've built with others. Brilliant video keep up the good work
everytime people misunderstand me for just being an INFP, to them i'd say "definitions belong to the definers not the defined." (a quote from Tony Morrison)
I totally agree with you about FE and FI and that we should be authentic and independent in our own lives, I’m INFP and sometimes FE can annoy me too. But just from a sociological perspective and according to my values, I think this view of selfishness is kind of dangerous. My dad (ISTP) holds that same view, and he uses it to justify selfishness which does harm other people. I believe it’s one of the problems with our society. The US is probably one of the most selfish societies in the world and we also have a high level of inequality. I think valuing selfishness harms people and society when it becomes institutionalized, because those who rise to the top do tend to value selfishness, and they also tend to not want to give others a chance. I think there need to be a balance. That’s is just what I think. But I definitely agree with you that personally we should pursue our own interests and respect ourselves!
I really love your videos, thank you for making them!
Its a great topic! I wish all of society could see this video and understand it. I feel that a lot of people fall under the category where they give but expect things in return, and this truly is manipulation at its core. I would say its very close to blackmail, forcing someone to do something for you by "giving" them something.
Iron Feather That’s true, and the selfishness of this kind of manipulative giving is often overlooked. Giving with strings attached isn’t very satisfying for the giver and just makes the receiver feel guilty, resentful, or obligated.
Yes I am the only one who's Fi dom and I am really misunderstood when it comes to me feeling that for Fe uses a simple socially accepted reaction, for me its like a blackmail that everyone imposes and if I don't do it I am considered bad and self centered
I always thought the clash between us Fi users and the Fe users comes down to how we express love etc. For example, the Fe user will appreciate you calling them every day just to ask them how they are. Meanwhile, the Fi user will express love for a person by giving them space to finish their projects and not bugging them with what they think might be meaningless text messages. The Fi user might also use the time away from the Fe user to write a poem or make a piece of art to give them. However, the Fe user who hasn't received a text or email all week from the Fi user may feel unloved and not be in the mood to read the poem or look at the piece of art the Fi user has created as they thought about the Fe user. But then I could be wrong about that.
I feel like FI people just don't want to burden others with their problems, they aren't just looking out for themselves it is their way of empathy. They are focused on their feelings to help them relate to others while FE are more sympathetic and can feel bad for a person without relating themselves
ENTP here Fe tertiary. I have often times wondered this to. Especially when with my Fi friends in certain moments where they fail to consider others feelings or take others feelings into account. While I struggle from high self consciousness I think Fi is the opposite atleast at times.
I am focused on how I feel but I also have a lot of empathy. So for me to feel good I want harmony with others and want them to feel good as well. If I can make someone else feel good it makes me feel good. But the main reason I do it is technically to make myself feel good. Is that selfish? In a way maybe. Not that I actively go out of my way all the time. But then again I do not engage in typical selfish behavior like getting ahead of others at their expense, using others for my gain at their expense, etc. I really genuinely want everyone to feel good. So while my focus is in a way very self centered I do not think of myself as selfish. At least not in a negative way.
Self-ish
Involving the self.
Yes, you explained it very well.mmSelfish is not the same thing, as caring for one’s self. Selfish is bad. Caring for one’s self, is the number one priority, within reason. I was with an INFP for years. We got along great. But she could sink so deeply into herself at times, I felt shut out. She was also very stubborn. But I adored her then, and adore her now and forever. -INFJ
I was an INTP for the longest time and just recently retook the test and got INFP as a result. i dunno if its due to maturing or just getting older. i love your videos and you are awesome and amazing 12/10
Getting a different result on an mbti test doesn’t necessarily mean you’re that type now. You could be in a different mood or gone through something that could skew your result. The best way to know your type for sure is to research about the cognitive functions. :) Thanks for the review! ❤️
I think you're confusing FE users as fake and being 'nice' and 'friendly' as being ungenuine. That's just wrooong. I'm an INFJ so my dominant functions are NI and FE so I'm introverted but I have extrovert energy because of my FE. I don't find joy in having ingenuine relationships and being a "fake nice". That's just a sad and depressing view of humanity it's like saying people can't be nice just because they can't get something out of it. I've been a people pleaser from a young age and it was because of my flawed childhood and conditioning not because I want to "get" something out of it (actually maybe most of the people pleasers that you know are like this) but as I grew, I realized it's unhealthy and it's causing harm to myself so please when something's being nice to you, use your own discretion if she/he is being nice to get something or she/he is being genuine. Not all people find joy in having ungenuine relationships.
You need to research and understand Fe more. You put a lot of good points, which I appreciate, rather majority of the people agrees that this kind of selfishness is good for anyone be it Fe or Fi. Fe can learn some positive aspects from Fi and vice-versa. But, here on this video I did not find anything of that sort talked about in this video. But, the question should be why do people find isfp selfish, what they do, is it actually selfish, does it really harm others and harm the relationships in the life of Fi user, did that Fi user take some lessons from that? If yes, then what steps did you take further, how did any such situation impacted your life and future relationships. Is there something that you can learn from a Fe user or try to incorporate something positive about them so that your future does not get affected by unintentional hurt to you and other important people in your life. We Fe users too learn a lot from you (those who don't start doing so). Being hardwired to be selfish does not mean that you cannot try to be selfless and learn from Fe users and being hardwired as selfless or putting self before others does not mean we should be try to improve and learn from Fi users how to positively be selfish so that we can put ourselves before others for our personal health and well. And yes, accepting yourself is a very good thing but improving your life is even better, believe me constant improvement and learning positive will make your life fulfilling. I never see any videos trying to be positive about things. This MBTI thing, people are using so negatively, like this is who Im to be, I am hardwired like this, I am suppose to be like this, its okay, that is how I justify all wrongs and rights that I do in my life. God has given everyone strengths and weakness, we can learn from other strengths to improve our weaknesses.
when i was in college i used to give my notes and my resources to my classmate and they'd copy my work ,out of love and just wanting to help others .. it was stupid i learnt my lesson, not everybody deserves that and they don't even remember that which idc about but one day i found that a colleague of mine made a very similar copy to my desgin and she showed it to our professor first so i was in a really bad situation , I've never really been selfish but i think if everybody is then i should be 🤷
I type inferior Fe but I was always the sort to be willing to risk or even give up my own life for someone else. I can't imagine anything else for myself, if I was not prepared to give up my own life then there would be nothing worth living for and I think that I also wouldn't be getting anything much out of my relationships in that case. It seems a little pitiful to me to hold on to your own life nails and claws, you're body is eventually going to perish anyways and if you live like that then you won't really be living.
But I've also become more judicious in that there are many people out there who are not worth a sacrifice like that. Life teaches naive sorts like myself that people suck!
You really must have thought through this ... I hope that you realize that people cannot respond to something this deep, without allowing their own mind to track with you, prior to forming a response. And that would be A LOT of processing.
But yeah, I don't think Fi is selfish. It's a logical given that an introvert will seek to know themselves so as to have a general understanding. Being geared to understand themselves first and foremost makes them see self awareness as the most effective tool to understand others. The depth that an introvert can think or feel almost requires them to limit the amount of information to process. eg. A very complex problem must, of necessity, be tackled by components.
(So when a deluge of information is given to a deep thinking person, they must either be overwhelmed or tackle the basic components that individually make up the complexity.)
This means that if you are prone to in depth analyses, it is more efficient to be Fi. In this sense self-awareness is not selfishness.
Selfishness is a poetic foil to love:
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NASB
[4] Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,
[5] does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
[6] does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
[7] bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
[8] Love never fails;
Selfishness falls short.... of at least one component of love in any given circumstance. Love mandates a personal cross in any given circumstance. Selfishness is inherently denying a cross for the sake of self.
I like the comparison with the airplane safety instructions, if we have to put the oxygen mask, we must think of us first, then the person next to us. Because if we passed out, we will not be able to help no ones... That's the same for ours needs, thinking of us, for us, would make us less frustrated and more respectful of ourselves. And then we will became a better person who will understand and respect the others people's needs. Thank you! It's an interesting subject 😘
My manager thinks I'm a jerk because I dont want to be buddies with her. She is buddies with everyone. I just dont care for it especially at work
BIG difference between selfishness and egoism. Could be that what the bible says is just a poor translation. Selfishness is a requirement in life and some other passage says to treat your body like a temple. But caring for others is its own reward too. It doesn't matter the subject, love yourself - love others, it both gets the heart going.
I see a lot of comments on MBTI pages about villains basically just filled with Fe-users waxing lyrical about how Fi is basically just evil. And the few villains they deem as Fe-users always get "Aww, such a wittle empath. They dindu nuffin." -.- It's funny because irl a lot of the most selfish people I've ever met are high Fe-users. "But how!?" Because those Fe-users were more concerned with how others perceive them rather than actually being good or decent people, which is selfish. Fe can be a deadly weapon in the hands of a narcissist, borderline etc. And those are the most selfish people of all, who this modern world (particularly the workplace - modern workplaces, jobsearching etc. is just the perfect environment for Cluster Bs) is designed for. And this is why everything is rotten now and why films, games, books etc. now are pretty much all terrible now.
You're amazing and I really like you alot
Thank you ❤️
Both Fi and Ti are selfish as they operate from within, and Fe and Te are selfless as they operate from something outside themselves.
Both pairs can also be inverse. Fi/Ti may keep problems away from family to keep the peace, that's selfless, and like OP said, Fe/Te gives with expectation, which is pretty damn selfish.
I score as INFJ on some tests but I score ISTJ on other tests.... Any reason for this? It's weird... Any idea?
James Noriega I can make a video about this in the near (hopefully) future. Getting different results doesn’t mean your type changes, but it could be various things: the test wasn’t very well planned out, you took it in different moods, you answered questions as you wish you were instead of who you actually are, etc. Studying differences in the cognitive functions is the best way to really decide your type, as INFJ and ISTJ have different ones.
I refused if someone give a gift to me cause i know they are expecting something back.
Fe doms are sort of invasive in a way. They get up in your grill and expect a positive facial reaction from you otherwise they judge you as selfish or wierd. From an intp perspective this is very annoying (a fake smile feels like death). Also when someone is high Fe i find that they are judging our interaction in terms of harmony even if its fake harmony. Whereas im trying to understand the meaning and ideas in the conversation. This makes me feel like we arent on the same wavelength. I do sympathise with Fe doms though i guess its not their fault and maybe i should learn to lighten up i dunno.
you kind of look like scarlett johansson, even your voice kind of sounds like hers