What's the most painful thing you've been told? (Strangers Answer)
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- Опубліковано 1 тра 2024
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Comment your answer to the question below. I love you all
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When I found out I was pregnant for the first time ever, I called my dad to tell him the news and the very first thing he said to me was, “First test you ever passed. What a flunker!” I was married at 25 and feeling like I did it the way I was supposed to but that comment cut me to the core of my being! My son will be 24 years old this year and he’s an amazing young man but man, those words spoken by my dad killed me!
I THIRST FOR MORE< MORE VIDEOSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!! please and i loves you, no need to change i can wait, if that your true will, or dont feel pressure, have fun be your self, ill be chill.
I was told I was ugly by a coworker...I never forgot who said it and how it made me feel. I left that job, and she's one of the only people I remember because of how she made me feel.
“ i wish i would’ve punched you harder” my ex told me after giving me a tbi. I knew then because he said before he didnt remember. And my heart was broken. But that was 7 years ago. Im happily married now with a man who loves me unconditionally.
To the gentleman who was told not to smile. Please start smiling, smile every day, look in the mirror and smile at yourself. You have a lovely kind face.
Here here! I second this motion! 🙋🏻♀️😁
Yes!
When I was a young kid in school someone openly criticized my laugh and it had the same inpact on me for many years even into adulthood but thankfully I'm past that.
Never be ashamed to embrace who you are by expressing positive emotions, it's not only beneficial for You but it's also a gift you share with the world even if not everyone appreciates it❤
I experienced the same, twice, and it still sticks with me…
legit thinking the same thing, he looks handsome!
Imagine you are the reason why someone is continuously feeling sad … that’s horrible
I was thinking that too. Asking this question reminds me to always be gentle with my words!
Luckily a lot of people have learned this in their life. Unfortunately. There are powerful people who never learned this. Constantly making life hard and sad for people who never deserved it. Be it through bills, laws and restrictions or direct hateful behaviour and treatment.
I'm just glad AI have learned it as well. So with more and more installation of AI in the government. We will see more and more limitations as to how these hateful people can roam around in important job posts in the system.
I can't wait for bigoted people to just instantly be laid off and get medication and professional help when they show hateful behaviour. I honestly feel sad for any person living a hateful life. They are all corrupted by something external in their life that got so close it became internal and almost like a part of them and their self-identity.
Some people find this idea powerful. I've known such people. No more, though. No more.
A school friend once told me I was bullying her when we were younger now as adults I feel terrible and even if we are now good friends I feel like I owe her something. At the same tie I remember the people who were mean to me, what they did and said and how they said it
Absolutely! That's why I try and choose my words wisely.
I'll never understand how grown adults, especially parents and teachers, will say the most hurtful shit to kids...
Hurt people hurt people😢
😢😢😢😢
Projection.
Agreed. You bring kids into this world to build them up, not tear them down. As an educator too, if you don't want to see your students succeed, why go into this profession? Some educators just like to hear themselves talk, I swear.
It’s always projection.
After my car broke my down a year ago, I was sexually assaulted by the person who stopped to "help" me. I was distraught and when in that vulnerable state someone I considered a good friend told me "what were you doing there at that time of night?". I stopped talking to her and I didn't feel right about how things ended and so I reached out to her again and she told me that she did not remember why we even stopped talking. That was the most painful thing that I have ever been told. It didn't even register to her.
So sorry you had to go through that. I hope you find new, lovely friends in life
Oh my God, I'm so sorry you experienced that!! Hope you're doing ok now and if I may, you shouldn't hang around with that "friend" if she didn't even remember what she told you.
You deserve real friends who do care about you.
Hugs.
Sometimes people pretend to not remember so they don't have to own up to shit/ their wrong doing.
I hope you're keeping your distance from her
Also her reply seems irrational to what you expressed, are you sure she understood you?
"I just wanna find someone who will dream with me." Excellent.
For sure you'll find one some day
@@usertopista6633 I was quoting one of your interviewees. I also like,"I'm looking for my kind of weird." Seeing as we're all weird.
I've been divorced 3x's. I no longer desire companionship. But thanks for the encouragement.
@@usertopista6633 Someone doesn't pick up on context clues...
I hope the lady diagnosed with HIV hears how grateful we are for her sharing such deeply painful moment - and feels loved, always. And I hope the gentleman who was told isn’t good looking when he smiles, smiles a lot, seeing how beautiful he is. Thank you to all for sharing sorrow 🧡
Ikr, he's such a handsome guy, I really wanted to see his smile when he said that
Telling someone that their laugh/smile is ugly or comments on a laugh/smile in any kind of negative way is just utterly cruel. They are robbing someone of expressing joy and happiness and can really lead to that person never smiling or laughing ever again.
Yeah that happened to me actually, I wasn’t comfortable smiling or laughing in front of people from about age 12 to 22, until I went and got my own teeth fixed
@@Epiphemmayeah me too I remember one time when I was a little girl I got laughed at by bunch of other girls and I didn’t get why when I told my dad he said it’s probably because of your ugly teeth
it happens. It is not a big deal. You grow up learning how to show joy through other ways. Yes you have less or no selfies in your phone cause you don't smile and people don't like taking selfies witth you cause you don't smile properly. But that should not be such a bug deal. Not if your friends actually care about you as a person. If your mouth is less expressive your eyes will learn to do the job.
“ if you’re going to kill yourself just get on and do it because I’m tired of waiting” my mother said it me when she was drunk and I was battling depression, I must have been early twenties. Have never forgotten it.
Yet, you are still here! Good job! I am proud of you, and I hope you are doing okay.
Sincerely- A stranger
Oh my god. Just…. **Sigh** 🤦🏻♀️
I’m so so sorry. 😞 She shouldn’t have ever said that, drunk or not. You didn’t deserve it. Shame on her. Whatever, enough about her…. I’m so very grateful that YOU are here with us today. 😁 Every single day that you’re here is a good day. I promise. 💘 And if you ever need a reminder of that come back here, I’ll give you my number and we’ll talk. I have some stuff to say. 💓
I am so glad
That you are still here
Glad you are here ❤️ Jesus loves you so much that He gave His life for you. I hope you are in or can find a good bible teaching church and community - it has changed my life in the best way 🙏🏾
When I was about 7, my adopted mother told me that my biological mom is burning in hell for her sins...my bio mom committed suicide when I was 2 and that was her sin, according to my adopted me. That one comment has stayed with me for my entire life, and I am 59 years old now.
💚💚
Love
That's a wicked thing to say to you, and you've carried that statement throughout your life. Your mum was mentally unwell, and wanted rid of the pain in her life. How tragic that there wasn't anyone she could speak to or get support. I hope you have since been able to learn more about her history and maybe understand her reasons for dying to suicide. I truly hope you don't embrace that wicked seed sown in your life. Your birth mother may have loved you very much! Please forgive me if l've offended you by my comment.
yeah, that one would stick... so cruel to say that actually, like what's the point in telling a child that? Some so-called "Christians" are truly vile
I'm so sorry she said that.. I hope somewhere in your heart you know it's not true
"I just really want someone, who maybe, would want to dream with me" I think that is one of the most beautiful and relatable things I've ever heard. Your videos always bring me to tears in the best way and remind me that humanity does still exist out there. We all put on our masks, but your channel helps remind me that there is actually a person behind it.
This, 1000%. Yes. 👏
I think that's one of the most beautiful things I've heard as well
I really enjoy your videos. Motivates me to see people in more positive light
❤yes video therapy
Mine is “you are so ugly, I don’t even know why you bother trying with that makeup” that was 20 years ago when I was 14. I still cry when I think about it
Kids are so mean to each other. I remember a kid on the bus telling me I looked like my head had been run over by a truck. He probably had no idea the effect that comments like that have.
I'm sure you're beautiful. Inside and out.
You don't need anyone's validation but you're own. Be an awesome person and you'll always be beautiful.
Don't cry about it ever again. From now on whenever you think of it, immediately say to yourself, they were wrong, I am beautiful. Affirmations can be life changing! 🫶
I'm so sorry . I am sure it was jealousy.
“When someone tells you to repress your emotions, you don’t get acknowledged for it either…”
This is such a brilliant point.
maybe not immediately, but it deffinetly shapes your character and behavior which is how people will identify you.
One of the most painful things I've ever experienced and in realizing everything I repressed and suffered for was for nothing. I never got anything and I never got acknowledged for being good except in school but that was treated by one parent like it was worthless garbage. She wanted me to be rewarded not for my good character or citizenship but for my academics because that mattered more to her. But even when I got acknowledged for the subjects I was good at it still didn't matter. Nothing I did ever mattered to anyone except my dad and my grandma and they both passed away.
Yes it’s dismissive and invalidating
My adopted mom told me she wished she had listened to God when she was unable to have children. I'm 59 and it still brings me to tears. :(
I am so sorry. You are worthy and always have been of better love than that. Hugs
I’m so sorry! Wow! 😢
I'm so sorry 😞
Wow, that's awful 😢 I'm not surprised that it still hurts. It's a reflection of her tho, not you ❤
That's was about her failure, that she was not supposed to be or fit to be a mother & not that you were not worthy as a child!!
2:46: The fact that a grown woman said that to a young lady is just straight villainous.
When I was in primary school, my teacher tried to send me to a school for disabled people because I was struggling to read the blackboard from where I was sitting.
Turns out that I just needed glasses and the school doctor also told her that too. But that racist teacher and my classmates kept insisting that I was disabled.
What I'm trying to say is that some teachers are evil and should lose their job.
When I was 15 I asked my dad if I could be a stripper and he said I could do whatever I wanted.
This was shortly after my friends mom told me that my b00bs were big so I should consider stripping...
She definitely sounded jealous. A young pretty girl who wants to love their dream
7th grade at St. Luke’s, Mrs. Woods grabbed me by the arm, in front of everyone, and pulled me out of one of the school dances.. it was in the auditorium and she made me go up to our school classroom with bright lights, and said I couldn’t wear a tank top or eyeshadow (like all the other girls, because I had a big chest) because “this isn’t a lingerie show Carley!!” And that going forward in my life, boys will never like me for real reasons. “They’ll never like you for you.”
That shit changed my life. I was a completely innocent child at that point, I hadn’t even kissed a boy.. I was just starting that phase. It may not seem like a big deal to anyone else but it was to me, she (along with older men that gawked at me, and other things that started to happen from 11-14) prematurely sexualized me and it fucked me up.
I went and got the biggest breast reduction I could, from the first doctor I could find, at a teaching-hospital, when I turned 18. He, of course, botched it. I completely regret it.
It totally altered my femininity. I don’t show my chest to anyone. I’m now 39, as of yesterday, and still have a messed up relationship with insecurities, my body, my looks, and especially sex and men. **Sigh** I don’t think anyone’s reading this and that’s totally okay! 😁
@@SeattleRaindrop206, my heart breaks for you. May your wounds finally heal.
A $20 subway card after being diagnosed with HIV is CA-RAZY.
I know is so dehumanizing the way the nurse handled it
$15
15$
Look, I feel bad for that woman, but as a member of the LGBTQ community who gets tested regularly, I highly doubt that any of those things in her story were a surprise except for the diagnosis.
Many places offer gift cards as an incentive, and there are often testing sites in accessible locations so people can get tested easily.
I fully understand that it was a traumatic experience for her but blaming the location and the gift card are just an emotional reaction. She very likely knew the test location was at a school and knew the incentive was a Subway gift card.
People should not be blaming the nurse or testing site.
That satanic upside-down cross on the face is crazy as well.
i’m a hygiene assistant & you’ll be amazed at how many people are insecure, embarrassed, & cry about the look of their teeth - both young and old. the guy at 2:05 honestly broke my heart.
I hear ppl talk about others teeth so much in a very rude way & truthfully his response & how it affected him is why i try my best to be sensitive to other peoples feelings when it comes to their teeth.
Dental work is NOT cheap - especially if it’s cosmetic.
my rule is if a person can’t change it over night, then watch your words bc they really do hurt and (clearly) stick around for a long time.
I always get complimented on my teeth and my smile. I always feel bad if it's said when I'm with a friend/colleague that doesn't have the best teeth. I have really nice teeth because my mom paid for me to get a lot of dental work done. My actual teeth were messed up and always caused issues. No one should be seen as less than because their teeth aren't "perfect" (used in quotes, because what does that even mean?).
I have very fragile teeth, they break all the time. It was like that my whole life. Sometimes anesthesia wasn't enough and my visits to the dentist were always very traumatic and painful. For that and because I used a pacifier for a long time, they're very crooked. I can't for the life of me correct them with braces because dentists always have to fix the broken ones before putting on braces and there's never time for that. They break before we can even start. It has been a constant reason for low self-steem. I can't laugh or smile without being self-conscious. I wish I could smile like other people, laugh without putting a hand over my mouth, and not see people staring at my teeth and then asking "So, when are you goint to put braces on?"
Therapy Girl: it is definitely okay to be a Christian and have a therapist. God is not fanatical. He loves you and knows what you need. Enjoy your therapy and growth!❤❤❤❤
God put good and helpful professionals on the Earth to help us. I hope everyone who can finds the one they need.
6:59 Lots of love to that teacher ❤
She can surely knows she changed that little student's life ♡
Thoraya, a few video’s ago you mentioned to someone you were talking to that you had kicked around the idea of moving on from your UA-cam channel. OMG Thoraya I beg of you please don’t go anywhere. The content you produce is magical, thought provoking, and reflective. This content has some of the most value of any channel on the site. I have learned so much from every single one. Thank you! Thank you !
Hi!! I'm definitely not going anywhere. I think you're referring to a video where I mentioned that I planned on moving somewhere else for my UA-cam channel :]
You got a reply from Thoraya herself! She ain’t going nowhere!!!!! (…sorry, I did a little dance while singing that 🎶🪩)
😂 Aye!
She can always take a 4month break and call it 2 months like last time don't worry.
Damn some of these really pissed me off. Nobody has any right to tell someone what the fuck they can or can't do and I bet those very same people who talked all that shit felt the same way within themselves. Projection is a mofo. I'm glad there are people who didn't let hurtful words derail their lives entirely.
Right?!? I totally totally agree!
Because I let words/hurt (and the inability to get over the past) derail mine, unfortunately. So I think you have the biggest point here, in the comments so far. 👏🗣️🔈
They have every right, but you have every right to not listen....that's how having rights works, welcome to the world...
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.porass. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this
Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes, he is dr.porass.
“Everybody deserves to be seen.” 💯❤️
To be seen and to be heard
I was in an abusive marriage. He seemed perfect - until shortly after our wedding. Then he started to belittle and insult me. At some point, he even threatened me. Finally, he hit me. I separated when my daughter was 2 years old. He said so many hurtful things to me that it's hard to name any of them as the worst. For example, he said to our baby: "You see, mommy doesn't love you. All she ever does is cry." I know she doesn't remember that, but it hurt me badly. As I found out later, I probably also had postnatal depression.
The worst thing about being constantly insulted and belittled is that at some point you start to believe it yourself. I needed a lot of time and help from other people to get my self-confidence back. I am now married to a wonderful man who would never hurt me or my children (including his stepdaughter) like that. Never let anyone tell you that you are worth nothing!
Last woman just being casually poetic 🥹
For real.... I was thinking that while I was filming her answer!
To the young person @ 8:00... I'm so glad you are seeking help. Even now it's stigmatized in the Black community. [High key, your mom probably needs therapy.] But keep going, babes! Proud of you!✨🎊
For sure her mom could benefit from therapy. She was that way towards her child because she saw it as a reflection of her and potentially a reflection of her parenting. She was too proud to admit that maybe she is "crazy" and needs help herself. I hope it at least planted the seed in her mom's mind that there's nothing at all wrong with seeking mental health treatment.
Strong people go to therapy to learn self-growth. Weak people do not use the tools in front of them -- some might say --that god offered to them!
Videos like this always make me cry. We all go through something,yet we act so cold and emotionless. In reality we just want to love and be loved,to hear and to be heard,to care and to be cared for. I wish people were more honest with one another and be there more for each other. How did we become so distant,so heartless... :(
We don't have to be. We just need to accept that people can be wrong, me and you, and really try to improve your bad side and push it to the good side. I think most people are trying to be smart, know everything, have an opinion on everything etcetera. But just being you makes you interesting
@@user-kw9rb2bg4yThis made me smile 😊
This is so very true. You’re right. We’re not all that different, us human beings. We have the same needs and desires. We all just want to belong and be loved, to connect. Our fears and vulnerabilities create this shell and harden us on the exterior… It’s such a farce. We’re all faking it really.
Same, I wish we could just be honest with each other. 🤝🫂
@@SeattleRaindrop206I think the key is being honest with ourselves
The most painful thing someone has ever said to me is “You are so stupid and you’re never going to be anything”
The most painful but it was necessary.
My life has change for the best since I was told that because I didn’t let those words get me down it only motivated me.
I’m sorry to hear that, I hope everything is going good for you, I can imagine how that made you feel, I was called retarded and abnormal at a young age and that I was incapable of intelligence, but change is a constant, which means to me good is bound to happen.
Well done, you're awesome!
@@Prizzy999 Thank you and so are you! ✌️
You are always enough. Just don’t let your motivation be driven by the pressure of “not going to be anything” because you are something already!
@@simpleduxMB You are absolutely right about that, and so are you, because everybody in this world is a somebody, and everyone is innately born with value!
Words can hurt, and cause damage. LONG term damage. Choose your words.
Nothing said by anyone else will cut as deep as what you say to yourself.
We are our own worst enemy.
So true.
Nah, my self-doubts were formed by all the awful shit people said/did to me.
My experience is definitely the opposite. I get down on myself from time to time, but I've had really hurtful stuff said to me throughout my life by others... people I love and who I thought loved me.
You tend not to forget the evil thing said by someone than good words
Humans go through so many things...
Remember, if someone says something hurtful, you do NOT have to own that comment. Love yourself more than that.
💯
Hurt people hurt people..a lot.
"Hurt people hurt people". I read this somewhere and the more I think about it the more I see the truth in it.
Much love Thoraya. Keep giving voice to people to express themselves
One of the most hurtful things I’ve been told was from my ex boyfriend who I just broke up with. I was on the phone with him when he remembered something his friend said. His friend said to my ex that he thought he would go for someone with bigger boobs, and butt. And how I seemed to be lacking in that category. My ex then said to my face that I should consider going to the gym and working out so I could get curvier for his benefit.
That was so insanely hurtful to me. To be told by someone you love and find attractive that you could “do better” physically crushed me.
Happy to say I’m not as insecure anymore and I want everyone to know you are beautiful and you should never change your appearance for anybody but yourself. :)
Your ex is a loser and you're better off without him.
You're gonna find the right person and they're gonna love you exactly the way you are as you're already perfect.
Hugs.
@@Prizzy999thank you :) hugs
You dodged a bullet by getting away from that guy. 💟✨ There's not enough maturity and intelligence there for any girl!
Oh, and empathy of course. Sounds like he had none.
Good luck to you, beautiful 😊✨💟
I was relatively obese as a teenager due to comfort eating after a rough childhood full of bullying and a very toxic home life. I would play video games to escape and cope.
My sister (3 years older) was dating a guy who told me I'd be "fat for the rest of my life and never amount to anything."
I'm 27 now, and I'm sad to say I'm a pretty damaged anti-social introvert; but I've bought a house, have a successful career as a welder, and no longer tolerate toxic people in my life.
If I could get his opinion now, i bet he'd say I've made something of myself; but I've never been truly happy and honestly I'm not sure if I know how to find happiness... and I have an inability to be vulnerable which really causes my relationships to suffer or fail.
I'm still hopeful but life is tough and there's not enough empathy in the world.
Love eachother ❤️ strive to never be someone else's lasting pain!
I love that statement, “I just want someone to dream with me”! Truth be told that’s what we all want!
“Why can’t you just be a human?” Said by my dad. I’m autistic and have felt subhuman my whole life. For my own father to say that to me hurts enough to bring tears to my eyes today.
Its okay, your not subhuman your just human. Its not your fault that your autistic and it shouldnt be something that diminishes your value. And Im so sorry that your own father said that to you, you did NOT deserve that. I think your just as equal to anybody else and while I know some random internet strangers words may not change much, I hope you know that Im rooting for you and I hope life lets you shed more happy tears than sad from now on. 🫂❤
This is very honest, vulnerable and poignant.
My ex boyfriend, whose mother I had truly loved, told me that she had died in a ferry accident. My whole chest got this terrible pain and I gasped out and was unable to do anything else momentarily. Once I got my breath again, I started crying and almost screaming that it couldn’t be true. He and I had already parted ways at that point, but I loved her so much that when we had broken up, I had asked him if he’d mind if I kept in touch with her. He said that he didn’t mind and that she’d probably like that very much. She and I kept in touch until that horrible day. It’s been almost 30 years and it’s still the most painful thing I’ve been told. I still miss her. To everyone who has read this, thank you. Please cherish your loved ones while you can because you never know what life may throw at you. Katy and I loved and appreciated each other until that terrible day. ✌🏼💖
The last girl…. A curious person, and someone who can appreciate sober moments and who will dream with me….😢❤
So beautiful....
It’s weird, but I guess the most painful thing I’ve been told was mostly unspoken. As a teenager in the eighties, my mom told me that my dad’s brother had m*lested both my sisters. It happened 10 years prior, and my sisters had confided in her. My mom was just going to let it go, which blew my mind. She wasn’t even going to tell my dad about his brother - who was a confirmed child abuser, m*olester (of his own daughters and multiple nieces), a spousal abuser, and a serial adulterer. I was outraged and told my dad. He became very upset - at ME - and he and my mom yelled at me for telling him. Another kick in the gut is that they continued to be on good terms with my creepy uncle and traveled the 2 hour round trip, frequently, to visit him. I have experienced multiple traumatic events in my life, like many of you, but this is in the top ten. It was like calling the cops, and the cops show up and take the bad guy’s side and start shooting at you. It’s partly why I’m in therapy and have poor mental and physical health. My uncle and my dad have since passed away. Last fall I tried talking to my sisters (who never thanked me for defending them) and my mom about all this. They have completely rejected me and don’t communicate with me. So much so that I had a heart attack a couple of months ago (largely due to stress because of them not communicating) and they never contacted me while I was in the hospital - and they knew I was there and why. A few weeks later my mom emailed my wife to complain about me. Then, about 5 weeks after my heart attack, my mom texted me and was talking to me like I was dead - like how you hear about people who are grieving, texting someone who has passed away. All they had to do decades ago was extremely easy - kick the child predator out of your life and love your own children. So, yeah, I’m in my 50s and my birth family has cut me off and painted me as a bad person for standing up to a predator. Seems like a no-brainer that the child predator would be the actual bad guy. And they all blame me for my problems.
It's not your FAULT that you have problems, but it sucks they are your responsibility.
It sounds like your family might have a lot of problems of their own if they're content to bury things like that. I think the best thing for you is to move on from them and kick ass in your own way.
Maybe you do have problems, but you clearly have a lot of courage to come out and say something about your uncle. That's how I know you can build an awesome life all on your own.
Sorry that you were ostracized by your family for doing the right thing. Its like telling your best friend that their partner is being unfaithful and end up being the evil one. My mother who has no contact with my grandmother my late gradfather, her two sisters and all cousins. Called me a couple of years ago asking me for help. At the time living with my father, my sister and my gf. She was ranting about getting beat up by her boyfriend and wanting money for her silence. Well I had the brilliant idea of not telling my father who has a horrible relationship with her (But never got divorced) and inviting her in for two weeks. Its been 6years now and we all had to leave. Because of the absolut hell she puts everyone through. The worst thing about it is not that that action changed the dynamic of every relationship I had with family. But is that she regrets coming in the first place and hates being here. I got all the blame for helping my Mom or so I thought "helping". To be fair everyone is terrified of my mother as she is extremely explosive and unstable. My mother is also the same person that said "never have children" as in biological. I was in disbelief so was my friend J. I was also 11 years old. She is mentally ill I vist my old home frequently to check up spend time ( because she has no friends) groceries and phone bill because she is overqualified and too old to work. When I call my grandmom (moms Mom) because she never calls, she asks " hows mom", I dont want to worry her she knows how her daughter is. Im going to leave it at that. I was not going to write so much but you really opened up and I just wanted to say you are not alone you probably know that but lets make the world a better place. Best,
Have you considered that your family might be narcissistic? And that you are in the role of the scapegoat? you should look into it.
@@MAXWUZHEAR thank you, and wow. I’m sorry you are dealing with all of that!
@@user-oi9lk1kr8l yes, thanks - I’ve looked into it - there at least 2 narcissists. My mom and her middle child - my sister - her golden child. There may have been 3 when my dad was alive. My oldest sister is usually in the role of scapegoat with myself as the invisible child (hence my user name), but I alternate between invisible and scapegoat.
Every. Single. Person... In this video... is PRECIOUS. 💖
YES!
Yes ✨❤
It was great meeting you Thoraya, thank you for allowing me to share my experience and for sharing my experience with the world. Also thank you all in the comments for saying such kind things. I definitely smile more than I ever could as a kid and I am happy to!
@ThinkingInGeneral please DO continue to smile. Your kind gentle soul is almost tangible!
To the last girl, thanks for sharing your story. I found so many things I could relate to in both your answers. It's amazing how similar people's stories can be, sending love
When my crush told other "I don't care about him" (me), and I was there. That was like more than 10 years ago but whenever I think about it that voice just refreshes like it happened yesterday.
I'm so sorry :(
8:35 I told my 11 year old he was crazy he then turned and told me normal is overrated I was so proud
Fake internet comment is fake
mine was "you must have misunderstood him."
it was just when i felt my communication w my mom got better and i came clean to her that i had memories resurface of her father sexually assaulting me at an age as young as three years old all the way to thirteen. i was shaking in front of her and she was holding my hand. and that's what she decided to say, asking me if i'm sure, if it's a "false memory", if i misunderstood his intentions. that's when i understood there's no way i'm trying again; she has never brought it up after, she still asks if i want to talk to him on the phone and tells me how she's worried for him.
i'm hurt and bitter that she chose her asshole father that in his whole life has only been cruel to everyone around him, including his kids and wife, over me. that man was only ever nice to me because i was a little boy. it's clear he doesn't give a damn about me now that i'm an adult.
i apologise for the long winded answer, it's really been weighing on me.
The first woman speaking, is heartbreaking 💔 I hope she is blessed in her life.
My old man is cold and indifferent. He was not abusive in the sense of beating us or anything like that, but he never made himself accessible. So when I was 14 it came as a shock when he came in drunk one night. And started telling me that I was lazy, fat, I am not doing anything with my life (again 14 at the time) and then after a bit more he paused.
He put his hands on my shoulders, looked my in the eyes and made sure to make eye contact and told me. You are a disappointment. THat one stuck with me, because as I said he was always distant and usually just never talked. So while he was never physically abusive or constantly shouting. What made that stick was that he simply told me how he honestly felt, and sadly was not positive. One of the few times I can say he was being honest with me, but I never let his words have power. I became a US Marine and created my own life, I knew from a young age I never needed his approval to be happy or successful. And I can happily say I was right.
Edit Addition: I was recently told by a sister who is 10 years older than me that her and my father were talking and made mention I was the favorite for never asking him for anything....I haven't physically seen the man in 10 years and I am his favorite because I never asked him for any level of support after I joined the Marines at 18 (im 32)....My sister thought maybe I would see that as a positive but I told her how sad of a standard that is. That a child can be seen as a favorite while not seeing that person in a decade....The man who called me a disappointment now calls me his favorite for removing him from my life essentially, I am still not sure how to view that. What I can say is that it proves that I was right, I never needed him or his approval.
That's the message I got from my old man, too. That I'm a disappointment. I'm still surprised when people like me. But now that I'm older I see that people DO like me. I'm kind and honest and I like to laugh. Funny thing is, he was the disappointment. Stay true to yourself, stay kind- you got this!
@@bodie1098 Yeah, I never let it bring me down, it was just shocking in the moment, for him to go from never really wanting to talk to suddenly, hey this is how I honestly feel about you. Kind of out of left field, I joined the Marine Corps after my graduation and never looked back.
Seems we have similar fathers and I hope the best for you as well, their words aren't fact and only becomes true if we allow it to be. Cheers mate!
I have been torn down all my life, but when my only son said I was a bad mom and he no longer wants to see me 😢. I truly did the best I could as a single mom ….just wasn’t what he feels he needed.
You don’t stop trying to genuinely help them though
Mine was my mom told me "I never wanted kids." So I gave her what she wanted. We haven't talked since 2021, and my life is so much better without her.
I am with you. I ghosted mine in 2022, my only regret is that I had not done it sooner. Toxic, toxic, toxic woman.
It breaks my heart so much, always be kind for everyone is battling demons
My mom told me as a joke when I was little that I looked like I had cancer and I just had my hair wrapped up under a little towel. I also was depressed when I was in high school and she looked at me disgusted and told me I looked like a fart. I’ve joked about this but deep down it’s stuck with me out of all the insults I’ve heard. Recently, my little sister has cussed me out and taken her anger out of me unnecessarily. She told me “this is why nobody loves you and people cheat on you, you should’ve stayed in *state* and ugly 🍑 b**** amongst other things. Mental and emotional abuse is worse than physical and I’ve experienced all. Honestly, to have light and love in your heart after all is the most amazing thing. I’m proud of myself and anyone that has a big heart and dealt with situations they should’ve never dealt with. I’ve watched thoroya since high school and this is what continues to inspire me day to day. I’m in nursing school and I graduate in a year. Even tho I’ve been taken advantage my whole life I will always strive to be better and not give up on following my purpose. If anyone reads this keep going…don’t let anyone or anything hold you back from the potential you know you have. Keep spreading
Words hurt and cut deep. The Bible says the tongue is sharper than a two edged sword .
The most hurtful thing I was ever told was when the only girl I've ever confessed to told me that I wasn't "there" in looks. Killed my confidence for the next 3 years and onwards.
Man I am so, so sorry. You didn’t deserve that💗
@@strawberripawz. Thank you, someone commented "I don't care, my friend." and just deleted it right after haha
Well good thing you dont need them to care. You're going to be alright, if you're not already
@@Exilir8 now that’s just fucking disgusting. I’m sorry someone commented that :(
I hear that. I’ve never had a girl just come right out and say it to my face like you did, though (sorry). But once I realized (later in life than it probably should’ve taken me) I’m just not attractive to women (definitely not hot, no money, not charming, not smart, not highly accomplished, usually very quiet, etc.), a lot of things that happened/didn’t happen in my life started to make sense. I’m a ginger (shriek!) and I’m absolutely positive everyone (including family) were/are reflexively repulsed by how I look. I’m 100% sure my closest family members hated me from birth because of my complexion and red/orange hair color. (There are cute ginger babies. I just wasn’t one of them.) I wish I had something more than “I feel you, bro” to say to you. I just don’t. Best wishes to you for all of your days.
watching this just made me realise how beatyful people is, real people, their “flaws” are what makes them beautyful, their little expressions with their face, the vulnerable soft voice, the lighting, they look so captivating. How I missed seing natural beauty on these apps, the light in their eyes, I fell in love with each and every one of them.
"There's nothing else we can do for him. I'm so sorry. It's time to say goodbye." Just fill in the blanks...
When i was 15, i had real bad acne n oneday my friends did my makeup n i will never forget when i went outside n our crushes outside n they laughed n ridiculed me. Never wore makeup again n im 34, this was back in 2005 n its 2024 n i still think about that
When my dad died, my best friend told me not to talk to him about it because he didn't know what to say. At first I was very shocked, but then realised I'd totally misjudged him and cut him off completely. False friends aren't worth any effort.
To the lady (approx 5:30) I am you further along the process. It will get better, it will take as long as it takes but you will be yourself again & you will be able to love again. It took me 5 years but I got there & I'm sure you will too ❤
It's sad that this it's more common than people would like to believe. I'm 2 years and 5 months out and what she said resonated too much.
I’m still healing after 4 years and 4 months … There’s no time limit … what you went through hurt …. be kind to yourself ❤
so... the guy used her to get his degree then ditched?.. man... I've known of girls doing that to guys but I guess treachery knows no gender. I'm sorry this happened to you . 😢
He used her to get his degree. That hurts. It's treachery. I am nearly 5 yrs in.
It's been 7 years and my heart is still healing. I am not sure I will ever love like that again. I read a quote that hit home for me. "There is a corner of my heart that is yours. And I don't mean for now, or until I find somebody else, I mean forever. I mean to say that whether I fall in love a thousand times over, or once, or never again, there will always be a small, quiet place in my heart that only belongs to you."
Thank you Thoraya and participants. 😭💔❤❤
@7:56 I completely agree with her. I have not told my mom that I am theapy because of the same reasons: "your life did not have any trauma; why are are going to therapy, etc. I do not want tell her because of the same sayings of your are okay, you do not need therapy.
I think the most painful thing I've heard was when I expressed that I was proud of myself and that I felt really good about myself inside and out, and my former partner looked at me like I was crazy and said "why?".
misery loves company...don't it? looks like your partner didn't feel the same about themselves so..
I’m sorry hug 🫂
Thoraya, you are a brilliant woman for doing this. Most powerful thing on UA-cam breaking down barriers. You are an angel.❤❤❤❤❤
Most painful thing said to me is "you have no redeemable qualities" and "you dont love your partner and they dont love you". Everyone has pros and cons but saying there is nothing good about you is pretty rough. And telling someone they dont love someone? How are you able to say something like that? The part that makes it hurt so much is the context around it being said. It was my best friend's girlfriend. She said it right in front of my best friend and he didnt defend me at all. In fact, he tried justifying her by saying it was just her perspective. Later, he confirmed she said these things (and more) just to try and hurt me. There is a lot more to the story but I am no longer friends with him. He chose her and called me immature for asking for an apology. Just crazy how such an evil statement had a domino effect that led to the ending of a 10+ year best friend relationship. And btw, I am happily married to my partner now.
You know, you have the ability to make each & every person seem just so lovely to me. They open up & expose their inner self to you and it just makes them beautiful. And the blurry background yet clear focus on their faces and your music and editing is just perfection Thoraya!! You are a dear & interesting person and you do good work. ♥️
Ditto!! ♥️♥️♥️
It is so sick the hurtful things that people say to others.
To the teacher who uplifted and affirmed her student.
THANK YOU 🙏 teachers have so much important influence over children’s lives and emotional health.
I still remember every one of my elementary school teacher’s names.
To the young lady whose mom implied she has mental issues and is a bad Christian bc she takes care of her mental health by going to therapy/counseling, in addition to prayer,
please know that attitude is generationally common among older (Silent Gen, Boomers and probably some Gen X) Black American and other POCs.
I and many people I know who are BIPOC have older relatives who have that mindset.
They believe therapy means you are either crazy or at best, weak minded and lacking a backbone.
They say this stuff bc they didn’t have open support systems themselves or people they could turn to to get support when trauma happened. So they turned to the Word and prayer only.
Otherwise they just “took it” and consider it a badge of strength to not ask for help or to speak to someone.
As it exists today, there was no such thing as going to a therapist or counselor for these generations of Black people when they were your age.
Your mom likely thinks your “weakness” (it isn’t) is a is some kind of reflection on her as well bc most if not all parents see their kids as mirrors of themselves.
If she did not need it, she thinks YOU shouldn’t either. It’s her pride speaking.
Who are you, because this was beautifully written.
@@LivingOnPurpose1 Thank you.
"(HIV) motivated me, put me in a spot where I need to grow and it put me the lane where no one wanted to see the person like me shine with it. And I took that under my wing. I took my pain and made in into pleasure for the world to see."
I had life-changing condition recently and needed to hear that. GO GIRL!!!!!!✨✨✨🙌💪💯I am with you sis.❤
I was always quiet as a kid and never really
“ fit in “… but there were issues at home that started around 8 years old… that I dealt with on my own terms and never told anyone outside of the family… in a way I felt that I had made adult decisions… even at that age. Since I was that quiet people said things that I would never have the nerve to say to anyone… and if I didn’t
“react “… to what they said… they thought I didn’t understand their comment… but of course I did… I then filed it away in my own brain… and never forgot it. I don’t forget… anything like that… ever! I also have family members that I no longer associate with because of something they have said/ done to me… and that’s ok… I no longer have to worry about them hurting me again. I’ve always gone out of my way to never maliciously hurt anyone… it’s just not my nature.
A side thought… your channel has made me aware that everyone has their own personal stories… and we share so many similarities and emotions… simply as human beings… and it breaks my heart… the way society is structured that people feel it’s acceptable for them to feel that they are better than anyone else trying their best… to do what they can to get through their own lives. We are all out there on our own… trying to make it through… and find someone who appreciates you… for yourself.
Thanks for showing us… we are all very similar…
The work you do is amazingly beautiful and important. Blessings to you…
🌎🕊️. 🌜🌞🌛
When I was in grade 4 my mother told me that I had been an a$$hole since the day I was born. She hated that I was the opposite of her and hated that I was such a well behaved child. Everyone(other than my mother) told me how good of a baby I was because I never cried and I slept a lot. I knew at a very young age that my mother didn’t like me and so I made sure to be a good kid and not get in trouble in the hopes I could get her to like me, but unfortunately it never worked. She walked out when I was 17 and has now been out of my life longer than she was in it. My experience made me realize how different of a life I wanted and to be proud of the person I’ve become.
Wishing you all the very best for the future. You are worth so much more than your mom. Good on you for making your own path and not being torn down by such a cruel individual!
Good riddance, you're an amazing person!!
Omg. Terrible human being. May you keep going. You're enough for yourself.
I was married about 6 months and was told that he wouldnt have to go to the strip club if he had something decent to look at at home. I was devastated. Looking back at pictures of myself at that time i wasn't a model but i wasn't that bad. He married me knowing what i looked like. It was the beginning of 13 years of hell. 😢
Should have been your way out that time.
I am really sorry for this, I am sure you looked wonderful❤.
God bless you. I hope you're in a much better place now, dear.
I love listening to all this heartfelt stories from people from other parts of the world
not related to the topic at hand but your content always helps bring me back to earth. keep doing what you’re doing 🙌🏾 this is healing
The most painful thing ive been told is that my mom didnt make it. She was in a hospital, had cancer.. fought with him for a long time. Sadly, 22.08.2020. she lost her battle. It was Saturday morning, Thursday afternoon i went to see her. In my head i still reply our last conversation and my words " You will be better soon" . Wish I could see and hug her one more time. Miss you mom.
These videos are making me live my life again. Thank you, Thorayaa❤
I appreciate the tears I share with your guests as they vent their experiences.
Watching your videos when I wake up
first thing in the morning is So emotionally cleansing for me because it helps me to shed the pain I was unable to hide from and shake the night before😭
Thank You!❤
It felt so good listening to the last girl... sometimes actually seeing someone going through the same thing is so healing
I’ve been told abuse is okay and that I’m never going to live my life to the fullest
I’m so sorry :(
Do not believe that for a second and please stay away from all abusive relationships, family ones included.
Hugs x
Thank you for being a good dad to the kids-- From the mother of my kids shortly after our split. Everything is so fresh. Feeling of an uphill climb. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck
Beautiful, vulnerable, and relatable. This is art. Thank you.
I love what the one lady said about “ you just have to feel everything for as long as you need to”. This is profoundly true & when you finally understand it life becomes so new for you. She’s so Beautiful.🌺 Thank you for posting this 🫶🏾
The most hurtful thing in my life is my family telling me I’m no one, I’m no good, I don’t need nor deserve sh!t.
You matter. You deserve love and a beautiful life. They have their own issues, so they put all of their shit on you. Just keep making the right choices so that you can become independent. That way you don't have to tolerate their bullshit. As a soul to another soul: I love you! Go shine your light!
@@Elena-es7sc ty stranger 😓
I’m 44 now, and a mom too. Being stuck with an abusive mentally unwell father themselves, every single day of my life, my only concern is to do the right thing by them and myself.
PLEASE do not believe what they told you. You matter and you're already someone, probably the world to someone else.
Believe in yourself, always.
They were wrong 💚
i wish i could give you a hug. no one deserves that treatment ever
I told my mom i was HIV positive and she laughed in my face and said thats what i get for my lifestyle choice. My dad told me he wished he had a badass son like his nephews.
awhhh that is so crual .... stay strong buddy and take this thing as a boosting thing to move forward ! take care of yourself ❤
@@Sarahdiaryyz thanks my top priority is my art now im done with putting others above myself and trying to make and keep everyone else around me happy or comfortable
@@adrianpi513as you should ! i'm done with this too the thing that matters is myself !
Do not listen to them. HIV may happen to everybody for whatever reason, even a simple blood transfusion.
Think about yourself and your mental and physical health.
Stay strong.
@@adrianpi513 man, eff them! They don't deserve you. Not all parents should be parents.
if someone can hurt you with words deeply, that means you dont know your self, or dont what to know who you really are
What lovely people. All of them deserve love and understanding 💛
When I was 17 my mom told me that no one would want to marry me because of my terrible attitude. She passed away in 2019 when I was 22. I got married in November 2023 but I still think about that comment my mom made. I wish she could’ve seen me married and known that I’m not terrible and someone did want to marry me.
That’s so terrible to hear from your mother. I’m sorry you had to go through that. :( I’m glad you didn’t let her words stop you and I hope you have a happy and fulfilling life!
🫂
You deserve to be happy ❤May Lord Buddha bless you ❤🙏
@@Lifegoeson166 Jesus is my Lord and Saviour. He will heal me from this hurt ❤️
@@jz3718 Jesus is your lord and Buddha is my one and only lord. I don't know but it is so sad for me that as a human being , you only saw religion in my sincere wish for you. I am sorry but honestly I'm disappointed.
When listening to these and how everyone can see that they still hurt shows that words really do hurt more than physical sometimes. It stays with you....
The sad thing personally is that I cant find which one thing would be most hurtful.... theres too many
Resonated so deeply with all of these people. Each one of you are beautiful, worthy of so much love.
Beautiful answers from beautiful people. You can tell these people really enjoy talking with you, Thoraya.
One of the most painful thing I was told was by myself. Telling myself I wasn’t good enough and not deserving of anything good especially love after hearing same things from someone I was with.
Messed me up for years until today. I got dumped by a boy I like and deeply care about. All my fault though. He was a good person to me and I didn’t value him enough. I wasn’t physically or emotionally available because I didn’t know how to be that because I was in a really abusing relationship for a year and it messed me up. Been dealing with the issues for two years and just realized how horrible I’ve become. I don’t know if I’d get a second chance with this person. Although it hurts so so bad, especially because I never told him how I really felt about him and how much he means to me, I want to do better. It’s been almost week and it’s so hard that I have to see him a lot and pretend like I’m okay cause I don’t know if I can tell him now. I have a lot to say but yeah.
I can’t tell my friends about it. It’s burning me inside. At this point, I’m holding on to God to help me cause all I do is cry and talk to God about every emotion I feel.
I believe he’s listening. I just want the hurt to stop.
Sending love & prayers to you honey! ♥️ 🍯
You have to feel your feelings. Understand why you feel the way you feel. If you honestly think you deserve a second chance, then let that be known to him in the best way possible. In whatever way that might be. Have hope, have courage, have sense of mind, have love for yourself when it’s needed most. Good luck.
When I was 13, my father told me that no one would ever love me because of the way I looked. He was always telling me I was fat, punishing me for not doing anything about it. I was pretty slim then, but apparently not as slim as he wanted me to be. Unfortunately, I didn't know at the time that body changes and weight gain is totally normal for a girl my age because I was becoming a teenager and my hormones were kicking in. That‘s why I believed him when he was telling me that I was ugly and disgusting. I'm 26 now, and to this day I still can't fully believe and realise that I'm worthy of love. It's such a blessing and such luck that I did get to meet a man who fell in love with me and became my husband after all… Nevertheless, it‘s still such a painful memory.
This is so rude! I have never heard something like this. You are worthy as you found a husband after those kind of horrible torture. You're so brave!
Thank you for your channel. I really feel like everybody’s comments and answers were very authentic and true I could literally spend a whole weekend watching this channel
I've been told and called so many hurtful things by so many people from the moment I came into existence. I carry the spirit of rejection with me wherever I go. I have been repeatedly abused in my life and it has made me hate myself. I struggle every day with thoughts of snuffing myself out of existence.
I'm so sorry to anyone who has ever been made to feel small by others. You didn't deserve it.
I love your content Thoraya!!
Thank you ❤
The worst thing I was told was that if I kept doing what I was doing, I would die in a matter of weeks.
What were You doing if I may ask?
@@milka5523I wasn’t eating
@@strawberripawz. I hope You are ok now ❤
@@strawberripawz.We'll they were right.
@@milka5523 I am now💗 thank you
Thank you to the very kind lady who is a teacher. To make a difference in the life of a child is just huge. I grew up feeling invisible too. I wish you had been my teacher. The smallest kindness shown to me as a child shines in my memory still 🙏
I always feel better after watching your content❤Thank You
Worst thing I've been told is "I wish you've never been born"
But we're all happy you were.
Big hugs xx
@@Prizzy999 Thanks☹️❤️
Remember, THIS TOO SHALL PASS 🌱
All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.