And they mostly don't even know. You need to know your own scars and traumas to be aware of the impact you have on your children nd how your past affects them. Not many people are self-reflective enough for that.
@@vanillemor5009 sometimes its less about being reflective and more about plain survival. To face your traumas for what they are is terrifying and most of us would rather do anything but face our worst fears head-on as that means doing the most excruciating task of healing.
True, but even the absolute best parents are only human and are going to make mistakes, and will unknowingly or unintentionally hurt their kids/family members. It's something we ALL do weather we mean to or not.
@@ville666sora yes, but being a good parent is about recognizing when you are wrong, and know how to apologize when you hurt your kid. Also it's about creating a close bond where you and your kids will be able to talk with you openly. Most parents don't acknowledge when they hurt us, and they blame us for having feelings, saying we are overreacting and dramatic. Or they just never even apologize. Being a good parent means knowing you are not perfect and seeing your kid as a human being with real feelings.
A quote I always remember is: “when you keep criticizing your kids they don’t stop loving you, they stop loving themselves” As an individual with one verbally abusive parent and one absent parent, this rings true for me.
🥲 That hurts parents should really have more insight of the things they say to their children, somethings should never been said. As children we look at our parents as the people that know us the most so when our parents discourge us and belittle us we believe them and we grow up thinking we are not worthy of love, so we cope with this feeling by pleasing others or drugs or other bad things
@@smokyquartz5817 That also really hurt me deeply because I also sing. I was really insecure about it and didn't have the self-esteem to sing infront of people. If the people around me didn't encourage me and instead said negative things about my singing, I would have never been brave enough to take initiative and sing at my graduation. I'm so sorry he hurt you, no one should ever discourage their own child ,or anyone for that matter, especially in their formative years. I didn't have a good singing voice in the beginning, it wasn't terrible but just not really great and a friend of mine recently wrote me a card saying, and I quote: "[...] But what I regret, is that I didn't believe in you at first. I just didn't really listen to you or payed attention. And now I'm soo happy (I mean that with full earnesty) that you continued to sing and practice! Because it's just so incredible to listen to you. It really is an angels voice that you have and I love it!" I cried at that because my music and singing is still a sensitive topic to me. She felt that way at first but she didn't tell me and I'm so grateful that she chose not to. What I'm saying is, don't ever let people tell you your worth and how good you are at something. You are able to achieve great things and people will try to tear you down, be it jealousy or just them not being happy with their own life, but you shouldn't listen to them. If you like singing, then fucking SING! You don't have to be good at something to be doing it. I assure you that as long as you sing with your heart and have passion, I will want to listen to you, no matter how good you are. I may not know you, but I see you.
Please... Do EMDR. This will help you relive that moment and process it as a grownup. You will -for sure- be able to let go of that hurt and open up all kinds of possibilities ❤️
I feel the same my family doesn’t care I can sing or want to listen to me sing …only my boyfriend loves it when I sing he tells me to sing to him …and sometimes at night he wants me to sing and not stop lol
The lady that spoke about her dad telling her that her voice was horrible when she was nine so she hadn't sung since really crushed me. They all crushed me, but that one really got me to the core.
The pain she felt mustve been immense, my grandma told my mother the same thing, and that she's dumb and cant learn anything, she still believes it to this day, it hurts my heart, my grandmother was a sweetheart on her old age but thats unforgivable
Its wasted potential... nothing is worse than that. I hope that lady finds the strength within her heart to sing again because I am sure she sounds absolutely beautiful
I had a similar experience with my mother, she herself told me to sing a song about mothers (mother themed)... But she yelled at me and made me repeat it over and over again telling me that I sang terrible. Since then I feel a great discomfort when singing, I don't do it and only when they force me but little, I can't even remember the lyrics of the songs, my mind just floods. This happend was when I was 8 now I'm in my 20's.
To the woman who stopped singing, please never give up trying to get your voice back it’s possible and you’re not alone and you are so much stronger than you think
I really hope she can find her passion for singing again, if she is still stuck with it it means she probably still loves it and would like to try it out, it's never late!
that's precisely why they hurt, oftentimes. A stranger saying something hurtful can be brushed off, but not when it's someone you believe cares about you.
It hurts so much because it comes from those who we think should love us unconditionally. Anybody else can say the same thing and it would get brushed off for the most part
The woman whose father told her she should never sing has a beautiful speaking voice. I can just imagine how beautiful her singing voice must be. I truly hope she finds her song again.
I could relate. I love to sing. My grandmother told me all my childhood "oh God how off tune this girl is!". When I was 21, my mom offered me singing lessons for the first time: my coach was so amazed by my voice she wanted me to enter the conservatory of music. But till this day, I can't sing knowing someone can hear me. Up until now, my mom never truly heard me sing. It took me 4 years before being able to sing in front of my husband. The first time he overheard me singing in the shower, he was so in shock and touched, he told me "Wow your voice is amazing!". He's the only one I sing to, because of his genuine reaction. As for the rest of the world, I freeze because how insecure I still am with my voice. Thanks grandma! And the funniest thing is, growing up and learning singing techniques, I realized how aweful my grandpa sings! I share the same great voice and love for singing as my mom, as well as her insecurity around it. So I guess grandma screwed two generations after her!
it makes me realizes how bad parents are and still are… I had to pause the video and think on the one where her dad told her daughter her voice is horrible. I relate to some of them too because my mother isnt so nice sometimes and has fucked me over mentally
It's not that surprising though, because the things that hurt us most are the things that people say, who we love and I think that we never love anybody as much as we love out parents, when we are kids.
The thing is that parents don't realize how much we value their words, so when they say something bad like this, we engulf it with our very soul and it puts a permanent scar on children for ever. I would know because my mom always calls me useless
Words spoken by the homeless shelter manager, after the house fire that took the lives of my spouse, two daughters, and two dogs. "You're now a family of 1" . 😭
The fact that woman hasnt sang in all these years and is SO emotionally devistated by that loss... means she really was good and it really was her passion and imagine whats awaiting under that lock and key if she could be brave and let her voice free again. Dont ever let someone else change who you're meant to be ❤️
Countless times I've told people to take themselves off the planet. I said it out of anger and always regretted it later, because I never knew who actually followed through with it.
The worst thing I ever said to someone happened in sixth grade. This girl Sam, I don’t remember how the conversation started, but she said that her mom told her she was beautiful. I remember saying, in a very sinister way, “your mom has to say that, she’s your mom. She doesn’t actually think that.” And I remember seeing her lip quiver out of the corner of my eye and seeing the tears fall. She was a sweet kid… and after that she changed. She turned to a lot of bad things for validation… and I think my little comment is what started that domino effect. I was in a bad place in my childhood at the time and I think back to it now and tear up… I probably ruined her life in some way with that comment. Sam, if you ever see this.. I’m so fucking sorry. I had my own shit and I took it out on you. You ARE beautiful, and your mom saw it before I ever could. Please forgive me.
My family bullied me to the point of wanting to kms, and I told them that they should put themselves before anyone and that family didn't matter because one day we'll all grow apart and I still regret it.
This teacher got fueled by everyone laughing at that poor girl for looking like a "depression commercial." Teachers can actually be the biggest bullies. The ones that try to impress the cool kids in class are the worst.
back in middle school ,My math teacher bullied me in front of the whole class for being bad at math , now i suffer from social anxiety :) BECAUSE OF HER ,she was the literal epitome of a sadism and narcissism at the same time she would roast me every time she had the opportunity and oh she enjoyed it as fuuck , , I wish talked back when she verbally attacked me i was and sweet and nice af Man once i pictured myself shooting her in the head ( 🤣 just to ease my thoughts )
The teacher who did that is honestly evil and deserves all the shit that comes their way. It also makes me wonder why no one tried to intervene and help the poor girl. I certainly would have done even if it meant me getting excluded for punching the teacher in the face.
@@teamcedricdiggory never excuses that behavior. Being hurt doesn’t give the privilege to hurt others. If your hurt you should talk to someone even if it’s just a friend. I’m not trying to invalidate anyone’s feelings but it’s not fair to hurt others bc your hurt.
@@swaggykassie How did he excuse their behavior? They simply said that people who are hurting hurt others nothing about that excused the abusers behavior. If you can’t see the difference then you really shouldn’t speak on stuff like this
I think I heard somewhere that there is actually a psychological reason for this. "The easiest pain to ignore is the one we cause to people we love the most" or something like that. It's a defence mechanism in order to avoid seeing ourselves as monsters for hurting them. Every parent / lover / sibling / friend etc. does this. You and me as well. Best we can do is be more mindful and kind, but every normal person has a healthy bit of narcissism that protects their self image.
Yeah because They are not Perfect beings sometimes they talk without thinking Sometimes or out of their own struggles if you take every word,people say to you seriously,you will end up killing yourself....
parents don’t need to work hard to send something past your defenses. You trust them and need them, so you take what they say as true, even when they say something about you. So an offhand comment they make can be foundational because you believe it. To them, it wasn’t usually an attempt to wound you, it was swatting a fly, something that was annoying them and they commented on it. They probably forgot the next day. The power you have as someone’s parent is massive and you need to respect that
Really? Can't there be some exceptions to that? I'm asking this not to argue or anything like that but because part of me would hope that if I ever apologize and feel sorry for doing something wrong to someone, I could do something not to undo my actions (since that ship has sailed) but to repair the damage or make things better than before.
@@corncobbob2326 as long as you can truly mend the damage with your actions then an apology can repair the damage, but this doesn't mean that the other person will forget, there is a saying about "forgive but don't forget".
I discontinued my education for 8 years at the age of 15 and I wanted to restart it at the age of 24. My dad said, " schools are for children. Not for those who had wasted their time. You are a grown ass woman now. Won't you be ashamed to join the children who are almost half of your age? You should stay at home and do house chores" . These words tore my heart. I wanted some encouragement and appreciation from my parents on my life changing decision but couldn't get a single soft word😭😭 Edit: I am a certified medical doctor now🥰🥰 I completed my education after my marriage with the help and support of my hubby.
There is never any shame in getting an education and creating a better life for yourself. Your dad did not want you to improve. I would love him from a distance.
@@misshoneynevercame4832 I was a drug addict and victim of child abuse. I had a tough childhood and teens. My dad was not supportive at all as he and my mom always fought. After every fight, my mom used to leave the house and I had to cook and clean for my siblings as I am the eldest. At last, things were getting better, he quit alcohol and was doing a job. He was happy for me when I performed very well in my medical university. We lost him in pandemic due to covid 19. I still love him. In his last years, he tried to be a good dad and he really supported my siblings.
So happy to know that you got to complete your education and have supportive partner 🌸 there is never an age requirement for education ..we are learning all the time ,doing that through an educational institute is not a bad thing.
I got pregnant at 18. I was 8 months pregnant, in the bath, my mom walked in and looked at my belly. She said, “I will never love that baby”. Now her and my son are very close. But the trauma she caused during that pregnancy. Really messed with my bond and connection to my baby. I’ll forgive. I’ll never forget.
The guy who was told "I love you" hit the nail on the head. It is truly the most painful thing a person can say to you when it is a tool weaponized for selfish motives. I've never believed it again.
@@reginaldfairfield yes for sure heartbreak is not a joke, I understand why some people even kill their partner that has betrayed them cause that’s serious pain
@@tlanxe682 uuh yeah no. wtf. definitely don't understand KILLING a person, and yeah heartbreak is real. people who kill their partners don't do it cos they're hurting, but cos they're controlling and abusive.
@@nogodsnomasters6963 not really, people with abusive partners tend to live in fear and their parter is checking where they are 24/7, so cheating would be last thing they’d do even if they can somehow get away with it And I’m not saying it’s right and you don’t have to agree but I can definitely understand, when I got my heart broken I fantasised over stabbing the guy a lot and I would’ve been very much capable of it, don’t fuck with people’s emotions like that
The most painful thing I've been told was "you're a liar" by my Father. He said this to me after it came out that I was molested by a family member throughout my childhood.. I didn't tell anyone for years out of shame and fear so for him to say that only confirmed my fears and deepened my shame.
I feel your pain. They chose them over their own child. Reflect on other things they didnt support you with. Thats how they are. Its definitely not you.
The singing lady got me. I never cry but I burst into tears. Truly so painful to imagine how different her life may have been if she was supported in her talents. I pray that she heals and realises it’s not too late.
Same here. it was immediate tears for me, after she said what her father told her. How awful for a parent to so swiftly and brutally destroy their child's confidence.
My sister would tell me she was annoyed at my guitar playing and singing, and she once said she didn't like my voice. And I don't pretend I'm great or something but it does hurt your confidence, and ruins something you just do because you enjoy it. And I married and my wife has actually said the same things, like she didn't really say she didn't like mt voice but that my guitar playing was annoying and excessive and repetitve. and there was a point where we had like a huge fight and then I looked at her face and promised I wouldn't ever play again, at least in front of her.
Parents or other mentors like teachers, guidance counselors, etc. Basically, it seems like the words coming from the people who are supposed to protect and support us, matter the most
The most painful thing someone has said to me was “he didn’t make it” from a police officer at the station. I lost my fiancé, soulmate, high school sweetheart of 7 years due to gun violence. That hurt me beyond anything. I was screaming and crying almost fell to my knees. The most traumatic thing that has ever happened to me.
I will never understand parents who intentionally try and hurt their children's feelings. My heart is so heavy for the ones being told they are good for nothing, can't sing, and useless. I just want to give them the biggest hug.
Once I was about 10 years old and me and my family were staying at a rental house and it was an old farmhouse about 2 hours away from home so me and my 3 other siblings were staying on the top floor and it was just one really big room with a small, narrow winding staircase and I was incredibly mad at one of my sisters one night while we were there because she was making fun of me and taking my things and so I pushed her down the hallway toward the stairs not realizing where I was going and she started crying and my mother came up and said you could have hurt her if you ever do that again we will leave you here alone. Then later that night she came in and said I love you but now I will never believe her after that. Don’t worry I don’t think about it much anymore it doesn’t bother me but some days it hits me hard like a rock after forgetting it for a while.
"I hope you ll get r*ped by your dad" I was in a private elementary school were our teachers were nuns, all the kids there hated me for my looks and tastes (context, i had really big frontal teeth that would gap out my lips), i got beaten up almost daily and also the kids from the other grades were mean to me (for them is because I befriended the only autistic kid at the school, who was older than me). They said that when they were leaving after pushing me down a lil mountine near a football camp, i hit my head hard on the ground. I never told my parents at the time, but years later, i ran away from my father s home, he always manipulated me and abused me, making me think it was normal to live that way because I was wrong. I live with my mom now and I started my own life and I made my first friends, she s now to me my only parent.
To the woman who no longer sings... My parents told me the same thing and I started taking singing lessons a few months ago and IT. HAS. CHANGED. MY. LIFE! I cried my way thru the first few bc i carried so much pain from being told how terrible i was, but i swear, better than therapy bc the body let's the trauma go 💕 you deserve more people in your corner telling you that your voice is beautiful.
Even if your voice is not beautiful, all the people should sing. It helps to process all the emotions that we are going through, I'm a singer, I can feel it on my own skin that it's such a good therapy for me.
If you die tonight, do you know where you're going? Did you know that Jesus Christ is THE only way to Heaven and He loves you? Through Him, God offers you a FREE gift - forgiveness. All you need to do is repent, turn away from your sins and evil ways, from now on put your faith completely in Jesus Christ and be obedient to Him. Biblical explanation of the Gospel: God doesn’t want anybody in hell because He loves us, but you must understand why we deserve hell and why those who refuse to live under His authority will go there. (Matthew 12:30) ''Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters.'' He gave us the law (Ten Commandments) not to make us righteous, but rather to show us our sin (Romans 3:20). God gave us free will and since Adam sinned in the garden, sin is the nature of our flesh and we ALL have sinned. (Romans 3:23) The law demands death to those who sin (Romans 6:23). Revelation 21:8 says that all liars will go to hell. For someone to be justified before holy God they have to be sinless, that's why everyone need Jesus Christ - for He lived a sinless life and resurrected. None of us are good in God’s eyes, because for God good means moral perfection. We all have broken God’s commandments, we all have sinned in our lives so none of us are good. ‘’For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.’’ (James 2:10). Our carnal mind is hostile to God; it does not submit to God's moral law and it never will (Romans 8:7). We hate the thought of God for the same reason a criminal hates a policeman - we know we have sinned against God and are guilty of it, but we don't want to be damned. Good News is that Jesus Christ lived a perfect, holy, sinless life, Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, He was buried and He was raised from the dead on the third day according to the Scriptures (1 Corinthians 15:3-4) For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.’’ (John 3:16) We aren’t saved based on our good deeds/works, but only by the grace of God through faith. ''For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast. (Ephesians 2:8-9) Jesus said ‘’it is finished’’ (John 19:30) just before He died on the cross, which means He paid the fine for our sins (past, present, future) to be forgiven if we repent and trust in Him. ''What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? Certainly not!'' (Romans 6:15) ''Repent therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out'' (Acts 3:19) Repentance is a turning away from sin and all evil works, and it always results in changed behavior (Luke 3:8). Biblically, a person who repents does not continue willfully in sin. While sorrow from sin is not equivalent to repentance, it is certainly an element of scriptural repentance (2 Corinthians 7:10). Do not play a hypocrite. ''God is light; in Him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth.'' (1 John 1:5-6) If you have repented and have genuine faith in Jesus Christ then you will receive the gift of Holy Spirit and be born-again spiritually. (John 3:3) Jesus replied, "Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again." When you believed, you were marked in Him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession - to the praise of His glory. (Ephesians 1:13-14) You are born again with the Spirit of Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17). Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life; whoever does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God remains on him. (John 3:36) ''You will know them by their fruits'' (Matthew 7) If you have been truly born-again with the Holy Spirit and He has regenerated your heart, you will desire righteousnes - to do what is good and righteous in God's eyes, to seek God everyday in His Word and prayer, to strengthen your relationship with God. You will no longer desire to willfully continue living in sin but will want to obey God out of your love for Him because of His amazing grace revealed to us through the death and resurrection of His Son. ''Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.'' (2 Corinthians 5:17) ''For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.'' (Eph 2:10) You will have a testimony - of what your life had been before and how has it changed now when you have surrendered it to Lord Jesus Christ. As a declaration and affirmation of your faith in Jesus Christ, get baptised in water because He commanded us to do so. In John 3:5 Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit.'' ''Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit'' (Matthew 28:19) ''Those who accepted his message were baptized, and about three thousand were added to their number that day.'' (Acts 2:41) ''And this water symbolizes the baptism that now saves you also - not the removal of dirt from the body, but the pledge of a clear conscience toward God - through the resurrection of Jesus Christ,'' (1 Peter 3:21) ''We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.'' (Romans 6:4) ''Having been buried with him in baptism, in which you were also raised with him through your faith in the working of God, who raised him from the dead.'' (Colossians 2:12) Please get right with God and start your relationship with Jesus Christ today before it’s too late, because there’s not much time left! "But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.’’ (Mark 13:32) Get to know Christ through God's Word - Bible. At first I recommend reading Gospel of John and book of Romans. God bless you! Jeremiah 29:13 - ''You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.''
The guy that said that he wasn’t told “I love you” from his parents growing up; I can relate. That was painful for me too not to hear that. My mother in 2022 passed away in hospice. She never told me I love you growing up and I knew one night that I might not talk to her again the next day. So I decided to say I love her and for the first time she turned to me and said she loved me too. I was in shock. My breath was taken away. That was the last thing she said to me and I carry that in my heart everyday. It meant so much to me to finally hear her say that.
“I feel bad for whoever you end up marrying” “no one will want to be with you” -my mom when I was 12. She denies having ever said those things but I never forgot. It carried into all my relationships- I never felt good enough for the people who loved me.
My mom says this to me a lot too. She says this when we get into arguments. I’m 21 and the things she says that are meant to hurt me are slowly just something that I get used to hearing.
parents aways seem to forget it or push it away. If I tell my mother "you said to me I am boring", she always says "i would never say that!". Well, i certainly didn't make it up
Yooo what is up with mum saying f up things and forgetting it 🤣🤣.... My mum told me that she wished she could somehow legally disown me like legit and now she denies it
This is _one_ of the reasons I'm terrified to have kids someday. The capability parents have to deeply scar their kids is huge, and even the best parents can't avoid hurting their child through imperfections at some point to some degree. It especially hurts that a thoughtless word can scar someone as deeply as some of these people have been. I know it's part of growing up and confronting our own insecurities, but it's still amazing how much power words hold.
I used to think this too, but I eventually learned that we are all imperfect parents and self awareness goes a long way,and being open to learning along the journey.Apologising to children when you get it wrong is a powerful thing to do - it validates them and gives them the respect they deserve..
"you're a waste of time" and "nobody will ever love you" was what my father said to me all my childhood, today, at 19 I see how cruel and pathetic someone has to be to raise a child blaming him for simply existing. It's like they say whoever talks forgets, whoever listens doesn't...
Very probably yr Dad was treated the same way that he treated you. I see my Mum just repeated what was said to her and I can sympathize with that. But from my Dad it seemed very cowardly even though I know he had it tough.
Thanks for the comments ♡ I see my father's actions as bitterness, on top of all the violence I grew up with, but in the past I've tried to understand his side and how he was raised. Only I couldn't, I couldn't watch him mistreat me every day and still seek his love and approval. I gave up on that, it was between choosing myself or letting him kill me.
yeah kind of a weird thing for parents to say tbh. i'm a mother of 4 kids and was talking with my dad 1-1 recently and he was suggesting that i've 'got may hands full' or wanna pull my hair out or something, and i very confidently told him no, that i love being a mom, and that any future children would be seen as a blessing. and he goes "yeah you say that now, but eventually you'll be sitting there looking forward to the day you get your house back and your piece and quiet back and all that free time again". i immediately replied that 'then my kids will be bringing along my grandkids and i'll enjoy that, too" but i think about what he said a lot because it confirms to me what i felt as a child. that we were a burden.
If your dad didn't want children he could have done something about it. He chose not to. Don't feel bad about other people's choices. Don't let him put that on you. He made his bed.
@@allyson-- it's very possible; his relationship with his dad is awful. But he's also always been like that - he said his only responsibility was to financially support us until we were 18. Then, we and/or he could decide if they wanted a relationship.
@@lettus143 I can kind of understand his answer tbh. Children can definitely be hard work, but it's also obviously very rewarding at times and worth it if you actually want to be a parent.
I've always had panic attacks at school and whenever my dad would come to pick me up he would say to me "Stop looking for attention and entertaining other people " as if it was something I wanted anybody to see me go through.
@@cerineche7269 yeah that's it. Suddenly I would not be able to breathe well, feeling numb, tears. Like everything is falling apart. Although it does not occur to me often to extents that I'd feel like it's gone and when it Suddenly happens it's always really worse
When I was a child I got bullied pretty badly in school, but never told anyone. Once I finally had the guts to tell my mother about it and she said „if nobody likes you there has to be a reason for that“. That stuck with me forever
That’s so sad. I’m so sorry to hear you had to go through that then the nasty comment from your mother was the nail in the coffin 😢. I hope you have been able to heal and release the pain. Remember that anything nasty that ever comes out of a person’s mouth is them projecting their own self-hate in some way, shape or form. It actually has nothing to do with the person it is directed at. It’s just mirroring. And funnily enough, people who get bullied a lot usually tend to be the sweetest, most sensitive and kind people. No doubt you too. Be proud to be a beautiful gentle soul 💜😊
@@user-jb4rz7kx5h that’s true, I was bullied *every day* no joke, even physically all the time, but I was literally so loving and caring and loved Jesus soooo much. I was such a light and I would definitely want to be friends with my younger self. I wish I could still be the little light I used too be, almost everyday my parents and sometimes even siblings or relatives (also old friends) would say how much I’ve changed and I’m not the go-lucky girl I always was. Don’t get me wrong I’m still kind, it’s just after some events I kinda feel like I’ve lost myself. And it just hurts me every time they tell me that, I wish I could be the Ashley they want.
Sounds like the first bully was your mother. I’m so sorry. Don’t let mom win. Be happy and thank you for sharing. It takes a kind and sensitive soul to share one’s pain. You are loved. And you are lovely.
i feel so bad for that girl who said her father didn’t enjoy her singing. you’re supposed to encourage your daughter, not hurt her. i feel lucky to have parents who let me reach for my dreams as a child , whether they were real or not
That first guy is solid, the way he recognized the hurt in the past but had moved on and still showed love is incredible. We need more people doing this (myself included).
to the woman who was ignored by her father and then told her that she couldnt sing,, that woman was 100% right, she knew you had a great voice and soul and wanted to tell your father probably to be nice and to hope that he was proud of you. he chose to be critical when you were proud for the first time. its very shattering especially from an adult. i hope you sing your heart out in the car or at home when you get ready. your heart needs it and youre amazing i love you
That part where the women stopped singing because of her father hurt my heart. Choked up. Just heard my daughter sing her heart out on Christmas Eve a couple days ago and it was the most beautiful thing ever. ❤
I noticed those 2 older men, the one who was told he was not the parent of his babygirls and the one who cant even hear "I love you", just imagine what this man went through. And they're both clearly form the "bottle-it-up-or-you're-a-wuss" generation so you know its all deep inside somewhere, at least most women and younger men in the video seem to at least be able to manifest their pain but these guys felt like they'll explode if they even talk about it
The focus is always on women! Nobody cares about men. Men are dismissed as non essential. Have you ever heard anybody ever tell little boys that it's special to be a boy(a good boy) then tell them, Men built everything that you see, every car, road, tall building, house, everything you eat, women's safety and every comfort women enjoy, electricity, Air-conditioning, plumbing and every electronic device women enjoy, yet men are hated in our society. Every woman raising children alone, how is it working out for you?
@@BeADad2447 well if women were given the right to education it wouldn't just be men. If women could of had their own bank account and work to earn money and just be allowed to do everything men were allowed to do women would make up so much more of history. Even against all those odds though women were still able to create and invent amazing things that have helped our society. You think women weren't also looked down upon for their emotions? They were called hysterical and were never taken seriously. A woman couldn't speak her mind other wise she would get beaten. She couldn't cry otherwise she would be mocked. She couldn't be anything other than fake happiness. She was expected to rip apart her body for children she sometimes didn't even want because she had no other choice but to marry and bear children. You are simply a misogynist person who's obsessed with trying to make yourself feel better about all the atrocities men have done to this earth and to people. Men are not the minority in this world. Just because our society wants equality for everyone doesn't mean men are being pushed down. You're just threatened that men are finally exlected to take accountability for their actions instead of getting away with everything.
@Sargento Capitao: Well the problem is, what does "manifesting their pain" do for us, for example in this very instance? I guess it gives us a video to watch (that makes us sad, anyway), but does it give us cheaper things we can buy? Does it innovate? Does it improve our standard of living? At the same time we are "enjoying" this video, "mean" businesspeople on the other hand might not have manifested their pain to a level that we consider to be "enough," but they did improve my standard of living if I buy their product at a very worthwhile price. We can quibble about how much _more_ that businessperson might have improved our standard of living than they already have, but I am not sure it would happen through acting more feminine, because who exactly are our role models for that? People who are not building businesses that seriously improve our lives? How many more of those people do we need to have? Presumably there are exceptions but the focus doesn't even seem to be on the exceptions; the role models are often supposed to be random people in videos that "manifest their pain." If we saw a businessperson manifesting their pain, and it was about smartphones or something, we would be worried that we would lose our smartphones because we think they might lose the will to run their business. The only thing that might keep this from happening is if we believed that the businessperson that replaces them _wouldn't_ act like the previous one, so that they could succeed in keeping the business afloat so that we still have smartphones available. We might want the phones to be cheaper, but if we think making businesspeople more feminine is the answer, we would also hope they wouldn't lose sight of what the business needs to stay afloat and grow, and not become too separated from that due to a bleeding heart, for the sake of much of the consumer industry as a whole. "but these guys felt like they'll explode if they even talk about it" But is that not itself a strong expression of emotion? It seems like you yourself could surmise that they were in pain, so in that sense, they didn't fail to show that they were upset, because "holding something in," or at least what we often call “holding something in,” is in itself an emotional expression, even if it's not the flashiest one. If the person truly was holding it in, we wouldn't be able to tell if they were upset or not, but knowing that someone is upset but doesn't want to (_directly,_ is perhaps a suitable word here) show it, implies that they did show it after all, so it didn't stop us from perceiving of their feelings, and perceiving their feelings is supposedly what you wanted to be able to do, right? They still ultimately gave you what you wanted. So I guess when someone is about to burst, basically, nobody is actually fooled into thinking they are not sad; perhaps the reason the person is holding it in is to just make less noise or make less flashy faces so that their sadness isn't so in-your-face because maybe they are not trying to make it about them out of some kind of (to their mind) politeness, rather than elitism of "oh look how cool I am because I'm tough" as if they want to brag about it or something. I think that often it's not like that once we leave the realms of, say, high school. For a lot of people that is just their habit and their intention in using it is not to make others feel inferior or "weaker" than them (oftentimes they want to do it as a favor (in their mind) to others, not so much as a favor to themselves). That's a really simplistic and one-dimensional way to look at this phenomenon, which might not be how you look at it, but it is becoming more common for society to look at it that way. As I said, this approach still expresses emotion in a useful way and I don't know that it's bad - we should want to help people like that, rather than, I don't know, only help them if they express emotion the way we think they should - either way, if we care about their well-being, we should help them; we should help people of all emotional types, and then people will get helped, just as we wanted :) Meanwhile, let people express or not express emotion how they want, and respect their privacy about why they choose to do it one way or the other. They hear the advice of both their parents and society, but they as free adults ultimately decide who they listen to or if they listen to either of them, and don't need to justify their personality to anybody, and free adults still deserve help.
@@BeADad2447 there was also a lot of female inventors, scientists and so on. I think its a bit overboard when you say everything is built by men. Mostly its been that way, cause women werent allowed to do any of that for the longest time as well. Dont get me wrong, there is Jobs that are filled predominantly with male workers, cause its been that way for a very long time and also men are on average built stronger than women and there is still jobs that are not accesable to women, if they get kids cause of a bunch of other problems. So it all kinda conects together to form this big mess we are currently living in. And to say nobody cares about men is also missing the point. I mean it would be healthier for men as well, when they can just be who they want to be, there is loads of men out there that struggle under societal stereotypes or that like being emotional or rather would have like to be given the choice to be more emotional, but werent given that choice from childhood onward. Nobody says men need to be like women or anything and nobody is saying that anything men feel or think or want is irrelevant. If men want to be strong and dont wanna show emotion that fine (as long as they chose that path and dont hurt others with it). Men arent hated as men, the behaviour a percentage of men show is hated and thats cause some of those behaviours are just straight disrespectful towards other human beings. Its mean to generalise it, cause not all men are like that, but there is those that are, and their number isnt small. That behaviour is a consequence of societal pressure and stereotypical views and outdated methods and concepts of raising children. So its sometimes not even the fault of the men themselves.
There was a girl in middle school that had a huge crush on me (I graduated in 2005). She would follow me around and try to grab my hand so she could walk me to class. I got annoyed one day and told her "I don't know why you follow me around, I don't like you" in front of everyone. Her heart broke before my eyes and she put her head down on her desk. She fought hard to not cry but everyone knew. I never forgot that and regret it till this day.
i guess it wasn't the best way to say that to her but following around someone like that is definitely insane and completely disrespectful, so it was a understandable way for you to react like that tbh
3:06 that leveled me. As a musician myself, I cannot begin to imagine the pain and suffering she must feel everyday. I hope that one day she will rekindle her love for playing and singing.
To the woman at 3:24 : please sing again. Even just talking, you have the sweetest most kind voice. Your father should never had said something so damaging, even if your younger self wasn't the best at singing. People grow. People change. And the only way to get better is to keep going. I have to say though, I don't believe your dad for one second. A complete stranger took the time out of her day to physically go to your door and express how beautiful your singing voice was to her. She was so moved she had to speak up and say something, knowing nothing about you except for your voice. That is true talent. Talent that spreads joy to all who experience it. It may be scary, but I do encourage you to try singing again. If it is truly something you love, it doesn't matter what you sound like at first. It only matters that you do what you love regardless of what people say.
"are you acting stupid on purpose?" said to me from my best friend and her mother. Really ruined my self esteem and is the main reason why i'm so awkward and closed off to this day
Idk if this helps at all but Elon musk might act how ppl don’t understand but he’s hella cool and smart imo so I like to be inspired by people like that when I feel stupid
Sadly it was from my mother's side of the family and my older brother. Always calling me , Retarded, stupid , idiot , autistic etc. And this also came from my mother too. So till this day it still sticks with me. Burg thinking about it , who was with me to help me study? Who was with me to encourage me? And now I know it wasn't my just my fault. I was a child. And those people calling you those names mean nothing. It's an opinion and not a fact. Those people that told you that have faults of their own. Imagine you pointing those out to them.......
@@Acord718 I'm so sorry that happened to you, I hope you feel better now and yea I guess people just can't keep their mouths shut about other people, ignoring them is the best option 🤍🤍
Had a girl that I was close to (but just friends at the time), after talking back and forth about some of our past relationships, she says just casually, "its so weird to imagine someone being romantically attracted to you." the way she said it was as if she didn't even think twice about it being rude or not or whether it was painful to me. I still have problems putting myself out there to meet women because of it, 5 years later.
Are you sure she was not talking about herself?? Do know know for sure she was not referencing herself as the you in the statement? I myself have expressed thing this way to others and they understood I was talking about myself not them.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I've been told worse living with a disability and all. I've learnt and still learning to see the positive in whatever people say to me. It's not being delusional.. just a matter of being kind to yourself and knowing everybody is worthy of love.. despite what others think.
I'm sorry, but was it obvious that she meant you as a person or just in general? This was about romantic relationships right? ...I probably read that wrong. The way I read it gave me Aromantic vibes, because that's a legit way of thinking sometimes.
It always strikes my heart that one single moment can cut into your soul so deep that time cannot heal it. I still remember my mom telling me "the music you listen to means nothing". we were in the car. I was 13. I was trying to show her a song about sexual assault. I'd been assulted by her husband, my step dad. She did back track, and try to fix it, but the wound was dealt. I cry now typing this because the pain still overwhelms me.
To the woman with the burnt hand: It doesn't look ugly! If I'd met you and saw it, it would never have crossed my mind that it's ugly or weird. It's just unique!
You're so sweet, I would have thought the same. I have a pal with a purple mark of beauty on her eye, and I used to tell her it was adorable. And it was 😊
I grew up with a lot of verbal abuse from my mom, but one moment that stood out from the rest is when I washed a pot that she wanted me to and I made sure to do it so well that it was SPOTLESS, but even after it all she told me I was "good for nothing and cant 'clean my own ass'". In that same time span, I found myself in an abusive relationship where one of the most hurtful things my ex boyfriend said was that he wanted to break up because I was "ugly"
@@gucctae6147 yup they sure are. My ex used to use my insecurities against me as punishment if I went against him on anything. I wasn't aware at the time since I was used to it, but I learned and became self aware. Now I know who to weed out and I've healed from a lot
To the women who was told she couldn't sing: "There are a lot of people here who would want nothing else then to hear you sing !" Sing sweetie, sing ! You're father was wrong. He made a big mistake, don't let that mistake define you anymore.
my parents divorced when I was 3 years old, so there was a constant custody battle and I went back and forth between them. when I turned 18, my father no longer had to pay child support and decided to cut me out of his life. after not hearing from him for about a year, my mother called to ask why he hasn't been around for me and he said he doesn't have to and that I'm useless. that was the last words I ever heard from my father. "he's useless". I'm 27 now and that still sticks with me.
I'm sorry to hear that my dear. I'm here to tell you that you're so much more than those words. I truly admire your strength, and I hope that you are now surrounded by people who love you and treat you with respect. Lots of love❤️❤️
I'm sure it'll probably never leave you but you can move on from it. People say things like that because they feel about themselves.. it's who they are it's absolutely no reflection of you or who you are..
"You only brought misfortune in our life." Said to me by one of the most important person in my life. Can't hate her though. But every night I just cry it all out
That comment was made so that you would would take on the hurt they gave you. Don't let them win. THEY brought misfortune into YOUR life. Don't ever forget that you are separate from them, their pitiful insight about their lives are completely false, and that you are not "Just Someone", but an incredible person, full of potential to create a life that they could never attain because unlike you, they have no compassion. Compassion is a strength. When used correctly, in a way to heal others and yourself (not destroy yourself or your abilities), you will be able to do things that not many people can... to make this world a better place. Believe in yourself. Try to keep your compassion, but disconnect yourself from those that will crush you under the weight of their corruption. Spend as little time with those people as possible and choose the people you spend time with wisely. If they turn out top be the same, drop them immediately. Your worth comes first, before their need to put you down. Guard your heart. Raise yourself up, because people are not insightful enough to see the worth of people, unless that person see's their own worth. Look yourself in the mirror every day and say 2 reasons why you have worth. Never let anyone say that you have no worth again; look at them, smile sincerely and kindly (like the more noble person you are), turn politely and walk away. Then never waste your time listening to their lies again.
@@ethiopiazoldyk4667 awww thanks.... I'm always trying to be okay. But you know it cuts my heart too deep sometimes at nights, and I just can't stop crying... I'm working on myself emotionally & mentally, I always tell myself that what others say doesn't define me.
@@justsomeone6099 yes. I also hope you get better. This world is filled with such mean and evil people 😫 They just go out of their way to hurt others. Just be positive and try to surround yourself with good people.
The most painful thing I ever heard was the cry of my foster kitten. When I opened the door, he was sitting next to his sister's cold body, and I don't think I'll ever forget the look on his face as he cried at me. I quickly buried her, too in shock to feel anything. But when I went back in the house and only two kittens sat on my lap instead of 3, that's when I broke. It was probably the worst day of my life.
I'm very sorry but if that was the worst day in your life, you're definitely very lucky human. I wish you that day stays the worst of all and you won't experience anything worse
@@thatElene I had a terrible childhood and adolescence because of my mother and yet the day my cat died before my eyes remains the worst day of my life. So stop judging without knowing shit seriously.
The worst thing that I ever said to someone was to my ex-girlfriend who is also a single mother, I told her she was cursed. I regret it to this day. Please be careful on what you speak
I'm autistic and I always had trouble with math. But at one point I really wanted to get it, so I attentes some tutoring after school, and in class I asked a teacher a question because I was stuck on it. But the teacher and the cool kids already moved on, so he said in the meanest way " I figured that you weren't on the same rhythm as the rest of us. " and laughed, accompanied by the whole class. I just wanted to learn but he made me abandon for good. All I remember was the sense of unfairness, that I really wanted to try my best and give effort to keep up, but i'ts seen as an inconvenience to others. I have the lowest self worth, and I always have anxiety and apologize from fear of annoying others. Because it's like my whole self is annoying. Till this day I hide from other ppl most of the time to avoid getting hurt
I am autistic too and have hearing loss. Growing up, I was always called mean things like the R word, which I will not repeat in the comments or “stupid” along with “Bitch” or “fat cow” or “whale” because I was always mocked a lot for my weight also which triggered eating disorders when I got older. Moreover, I was molested also around that age. It wasn’t until 2021 where I started recovering from them. Also, struggle with mental illness because of all the trauma and abuse I went through.
I’m sorry for that jerk’s behavior that’s a child not an adult. How dare him!! He’s a bully and he’s wrong about autism. People with autism are some of the smartest and most beautiful ones I have ever met. Sending love❤️anyone who talks down on or embarrasses someone like that hates themselves more then we could ever imagine. Good people don’t go around hurting other people!!😢
Hi, I am sorry to know about your situation... I also relate to something like this... In my childhood, the teachers told me and my parents that I am so dumb that I can't score well even after studying hard... And in my job, my manager says that I am not capable of working... It genuinely hurts me why everyone thinks that I am not worth learning and growing my career...because in reality career and academics had always been my priority...still, people never believe that I can ever get success in life... But irrespective of everyone's opinion about me... I am working hard on myself to settle abroad... So, even though ... I need to get a checkup done on whether I have any learning disability or not... I genuinely feel that no matter what...everyone is capable of learning everything... Some mathematicians flunked math... So, never doubt your self-worth based on others... If you genuinely want to be good at something...you will be ... Unless you believe in yourself ...
The dyslexia thing hit deep. As someone with dyslexia I have been told so many disrespectful things about it. From 'I wish I had dyslexia' (by fellow students) to 'I don't believe you have dyslexia you are not stupid enough' (by a teacher).
Hi, I am also dyslexic, wasn’t diagnosed until I was 20. During 5-11 years old I was voted/labelled the “dumbest in the school”. On top I also had a stammer. I still remember this, I am 32 now.
@@Mini-n6l Sadly, your story feels very familiar. I've been tested for dyslexia many times when I was younger but was only officially diagnosed when I was 16 and could no longer cope in school. I am sorry you had to go through this. I hope you're doing okay now?
@@Mini-n6l Hello there 🤗 I just wanted to let you know it gets better the more you acknowledge your struggles and reach out for help! Growing up no one knew I had a disability, I was just labeled as dumb or lazy by many teachers (even after I was diagnosed). But now I'm 25 and studying for aerospace engineering. I've been praised by many professors compared to the teachers I've had. I do admit my dyslexia sometimes makes me feel less about myself for not being able to read elaborate words or completely understand articles/books... Know that we're able to do anything! If not better! It just takes a little bit more 💞
It shows humanity and not lies, shows that everybody had gone through hard stages or moments. That makes me feel not lonely and I like it, might be your case aswell :)
My dad told me to stop calling him because he had “other kids to take care of”. I was 18 years old and was sick with a flu. It was right before Christmas and our big family Christmas party (something I LOVE) and it was one of the hardest christmases I’ve ever been through. I usually remember each one but I can’t remember that one. I’m 26 now and it still bothers me but I don’t like to cry about it because he doesn’t get to make me feel that way anymore.
The most painful thing that has been said to me was by my parents. I was told as a child I wasn't to attend their funerals as I wasn't invited. I am 42 now and my father is elderly and very unwell with the inevitable coming and this still breaks my heart. Even as I write this I'm in tears. Sticks and stones hurt for a short time but words last forever.
It seems like your parents don't deserve to have you attend their funerals. Anyone who can be that hateful even in death deserves their own misery. You're better than them
Both parents were unbelievably cruel; never wished ill upon them but was happy/relieved when they passed. Took care of them both on that journey as well but have been depleted of forgiveness.
I felt so bad for the lady who wanted to become a professional singer, its so sad to see how one of the persons you most love (dad) crushes your dreams in just one sentence, i hope she starts singing and follow her dreams again
"Crying is for poor people, you shouldn’t be crying. Go see a therapist, a therapist would fix you and don't come back until you're fixed." My dad to me after I tried to explain to him that I couldn't immediately come out of my room right away because I didn't want him and my mother to see me in tears after I had nearly cut ties with a friend.
Please cry, please communicate your pain, please reach for help every single time you need it. And I hope each time you will have someone there for you
Strangely, this isn't the most painfull thing I've ever been told, but my father said to me a couple of years ago "you poor, pathetic excuse for a human being". I was 42 when he said that. My childhood was hell. I didn't reallise that parents don't behave that way towards their children normally.
After the lady said she stopped singing, I cried my eyes out. Made me think of all the memories of when I gave up on so many things like playing the piano, dancing, and yes even socializing that I loved due to small but hurtful comments (to me at least) from teachers, classmates from school, and mostly my grandma. However, life goes on.
The most painful thing I’ve heard was probably “thank god you don’t have siblings, we couldn’t stand 2 of you” by my mom, several times throughout my childhood “jokingly” and when I was like “stop it, I don’t like it” she was like “oh, I’m just messing with you “ but it still hurts so bad
i was depressed and my mother said "dont look gloomy like that you are ruining my beautiful day" i got angry how the only the she said that day was this bullsht (which made me feel worser) we argued and she said "both you and you brother borned to annoy me" she acts like she never argued with me and she still thinks i am indebted to her for living a good life without problems
“The only reason you were born is because your dad wanted you…I didn’t.” As a kid I always felt that my mother had vastly more affection for my younger brother then she did towards me. As my brother and I got older, our friends and their families started to notice how drastic her parenting was towards me versus my brother. Feeling like I was unlovable, feeling that no matter what accomplishments I had or successes came in my life…she would never be proud of me. I was in my early 20’s when my mom said that to me and in that moment, I could feel that little kid inside who was still yearning for his mothers love, die. I’m in my 40’s now and I’m still haunted by what my mom said. I always will be unfortunately.
That’s so weird considering you’re the older brother. If she didn’t want a kid the first time then why did she have your brother after she had you? Maybe she just grew to like your younger brother, but not you. I’m sorry. She sounds terrible
Mine was my father. He said he wished he only had boys. And when I was 17 he said a person like me shouldn't study more. You should just work. Years later he asked me why I didn't continue studying
The most painful thing I've been told was when I discovered a heart disease when I was 16 and I was talking with a classmate about it in school. She wanted to understand what this disease could cause me and another girl who used to be a bully heard our conversation and say out loud for all the class that if my disease kill me she would buy an amount of fireworks and celebrate the end of my life cause I was the most annoying person she ever met. It hurt me a lot for years and years, but now here I am at the age of 21, I still have this health issue but I constantly remember her saying that because now it makes me wanna fight for my life even more. I graduated, now I'm in college and sometimes remember that makes me sad but Jesus makes me wake up stronger every single day. I don't know where she is now, but I hope someday she could recognize that she failed trying put me down, it only makes me recognize the value of my life.
I told my dad about me having an eating disorder and he said “you weren’t very bright back then and you aren’t very bright now” this is the same man who says he’s supposed to show me how a man is supposed to treat me.
This is mess up… a father shouldn’t say such things… I hope you never hold anger against yourself or ur family!!.. If they keep harming you its better to leave them
being trans, being queer growing up, being fat, I've heard lots of mean things but a moment that sticks with me is this one man who called me "blackie" in the most vile and violent way when I was 8-9 at a movie theater. I replay it a lot. it was the first time I blatantly experienced racism. I was so young, I was confused as to why he hated me so much because of my skin. I still carry it with me but im happy I had a wake up call so young because it prepared me for what was to come. and boy, was there more to come.
My friend, my heart hurts for you. If you can, stop replaying that awful moment: it only strengthens the power it has over you. Try to let it go, and consciously choose to replay happier, kinder statements made to you. ❤️ It takes time, but it is very freeing.
When I was a teenager my mom said she regrets having me. Back then I was very naive and I thought she only said that out of rage or despair but now as an adult looking back I really see that she just finally said what she truly thought and she kept it inside for 16 years. She never apologized or took her words back.
That hurts. My dad didn't even have to say anything, when I was crying and begging him to not forget about us (he was moving out, divorce) he didn't say a word. Just sat there and soon after left. Months later we completely lost contact. I think he didn't really wanted kids, but he never vocalized it
@@ira6133 It will never be healed. I'm doing ok, but it's not easy, especially in highly demanding Uni that I've chose to go to. I hope at least you had an opportunity to move on
@@karvistudios Nope, things only got worse. I moved out long time ago and my mental health is a lot better now that we live separately, but we are strangers with both my parents, we don't communicate at all. I see that they are feeling alot better since their kids left their home and I don't want to interrupt them. I'm glad that they're happy now, but there's a big hole inside of me and I feel like it's so wrong. But really there's nothing I can do. I can't make them want me or love me, so I have to let go.
"raise your hand if you want abi to die" This was said during lunch in the 2nd grade by one of my classmates. Once it was said everyone who was sitting around me raised their hands. The situation only got worse as it was brought up to the teacher because I tried to make fun of the girl who said that after we got back to the classroom. My teacher rightfully told me it was wrong to make fun of the girl, as well as disapprove of what she had said during lunch. My teacher then gathered the entire class in a circle with the lights dimmed. She made us each state our case and I revealed to them how lonely I was and didn't have friends to play with at recess. I would basically just roam around alone and occasionally talk to the teachers who would watch over us. My teacher then said to me that I should let the teachers do their jobs. I just felt like at that point I didn't have anyone to go to. I didn't feel like I belong at school and now I couldn't even talk to my teachers. I also felt the same at home because I couldn't come to my parents about this. I didn't feel comfortable because I told my dad that I didn't have any friends at school a previous time, and he just brushed it off. My parents were absent while I was going through all of this, and continue to be as they are very conservative catholics, and I'm queer. They've shown their disapproval of me from things like taking down my bring me the horizon poster and putting a giant rosary in its place, to throwing away my clothes and pride flag because my mom didn't like them. All of these moments really drilled into my head that I don't belong and I feel like I really missed out on emotional intelligence. I feel so detached from my family as well as the real friends I did make later on in life. I struggled through the rest of my grade school days and up to college. I became the problem because the way I have carried this hurt has caused me to hurt and distance myself from others. I just turned 21 last week and I cried so much while typing this out. I have a lot of healing and learning to do.
I wish you a lot of strengh and love for your path! Be easy with you! It has been a lot and you done great so far! It isn't easy when you don't have a support system around, but there is a reeeaally big world outside. There are people who will come into your life and they will like you the way you are. Just be easy on yourself. And if it might help you, please talk to someone professional about it. It can help you heal. It will be hard. But it's going to be worth it.
Raise your hands if you think Abi is brave; Me: raises both hands You might feel suffocated and unacceptable of yourself right now but please believe me when I say if you hang in there long enough things will get better. Your identity was interrupted while forming and now you define yourself as others define you not as you uncover. Speak to someone, speak to little Abi as well and draw strength from her. You stronger than you know. Be kind to yourself!
I’m in tears with you too. I know how it is to be lonely and treated like a problem…Jesus Christ was treated the same way on earth, misunderstood even by the closest people to Him. Jesus Christ is for the loner! “‘If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you’” John 15: 18-19 ESV
earlier this year I got into a fight with my dad. At that time I decided to drop out of university after just a short time of being there for some reasons (going into the details would take too long) and I also struggled with pretty big social anxiety and depression (still do but its getting better) and to make it worse i also had just quit a job that was supposed to fill the gap for some time before i could start something new, because of that social anxiety. I felt like an absolute looser, i was very lonely, i didnt know who I was and I had abslutely no self esteem. So with that in mind this fight with my dad started over something bizzare which i dont even remember exactly (i think i dropped a glass bottle by accident) but things escelated extremely fast and we just yelled at each other over everything that had been building up over the last months/years. And it was in that exact moment where my dad yelled at me "you will never get anything done anyways" or something along these lines, basicly him saying that to me just crushed me and fueled me with frustration and sadness because i also knew that he wasnt wrong. I ran upstairs, shut and then locked the door and immediately started bursting out in tears of frustration and despair, everything was just to much and i couldnt hande it anymore, i asked myself how did it come to this? why do i deserve this? is this my fault? Ive never experienced a breakdown like that at all, but it just was too much. I remember punching my wall so hard i still felt the pain in my wrist a few days after that. After this day, I swore to myself that I will prove everyone wrong. I didnt want to be just a side character anymore. I didnt wanna be lonely and depressed anymore. I didnt wanna waste my life anymore. I want to prove them all that I am Strong and capable. So I started going to the gym 3 months ago and lost about 10kg (22 lbs) so far (started at 93kg now at 83) while also building up some muscles. I will also be going to uni again, starting in a few weeks and im also planning on getting a small job then to get some money aswell. Im still nowhere near to my goals as of right now but im working hard everyday to get my life that i deserve back. Its kind of ironic, my dad telling me this was the most painful thing anyone has ever said to me, while at the same time, it made me realise that i needed to drastically change things in order to be happy again and it gave me the motivaton to prove them wrong. I still love my dad btw, I know that he just wants the best for me and he has been working very hard to provide our family all these years and i want to make him proud. Iam 100% determined to become a succesfull man and nothing will stop me from doing so. if anyone has actually read all of this (which i dont think anyone will but still), thank you so much for spending your time reading this story about some stranger that you dont even know, I truly appreciate it. I want everyone out there who is also struggling to know that you are not alone and that things are going to get better if you start making changes in your life, even though they are scary.
I read this and I'm with you. Keep going and don't stop working on yourself ever. You'll love yourself if you keep spending time with yourself and for yourself. Every little achievement counts. Keep going and I'm sure you'll make it. I'll try to make it too. Let's talk about this in a few years 'when' we do get what we've set out to do. All the best stranger.
The way these people are captured in these moments. It’s mesmerizing. Maybe I’m looking too deep into it but seeing the humanity in each person is such a wonder to me. To see someone is awesome.
"You're not a good person." It's not the most painful thing I've been told by my mother but definitely the one that stuck with me the most, because I was less than 10 years old and I just didn't know how to react to my grandpa's passing, which was my first experience with death. It shaped the way I give myself to people, and I end up getting hurt a lot in order to prove that I'm not bad or undeserving of care.
Every child deserves a parent but not every parent deserves a child. I feel for this people and just shows how deep words can remain with you no matter how many years go by. Let’s be kind to one another we never know what someone else is going through.
As a kid, I was always pretty isolated, when I got to middle school I had a group of friends who I thought I got along with, and one day I will never forget was one of them talking to me only, and said “we only include you because we feel bad for you.” I still carry that with me, and feel unworthy of friendships/relationships. I forgive, but certain things just cut too deep to forget.
happened to me as well. I was friends with the "popular", extroverted girl who was never present in this specific group of people, she was with others. Then this specific group once told me that I shouldn't actually be there bcs they wanted to kick that friend of mine out of the group and that they were being "nice" and inclusive with me just out of pity. This was very hurtful since I considered all of them as my friends :(
I feel the same way, whenever I meet someone I always tell them if they want to stop talking to me or unfriend me they can and I won’t feel offended at all, I’m used to it! I say not to beat around the bush, and I realize that I constantly apologize for really stupid things, like confusing them or messaging them at the wrong time.
My heart goes out to the lady at 3:00 and all out there who had to go thru the same bs. My dad scared me so much that for years I was only singing suuuper quietly in my room so he (and nobody) would hear my voice. I am still self-conscious at home... But how did I become a singer nonetheless? The voice inside was stronger and my passion for music just could not stay inside. The sentence "Don't die with the music still inside you" has been one of my life mottos. Get back in touch with you and that VOICE! It's healing and the tears are purifying. Listening to Christina Aguilera's fighter is still choking me up. Bless you all, also those parents who didn't and don't know better!!!
The most painful thing I've been told was "Can I go with someone else?", cuz up until now I've never been the first choice to any of my friends, and I still feel like none of my friends want to actually listen to me when I'm feeling down. Every person I know tells me and reach out to me when they are going through something bad cuz "they really feel comfortable talking to me and telling me their secrets" but when I need to talk to somebody, all of them turn their backs on me and go to someone else. If you read this whole, ty ❤
This video made me cry so hard. One day at school I was talking to one of my classmates, I guess I was very talkative and social at that time and was telling her about the series I’ve watched on weekends. She stopped me and said with a poker face: “That’s exactly why you don’t have any friends”. Liz, it’s been so many years and I still remember your words like it was yesterday
Chinese proverb ‘The man who blames others has a long way to go, The man who blames himself is halfway there, The man who blames no one has already arrived.’ As humans we are all fallible and we are here living this life to make mistakes and to learn from them, the antidote to the pain is unconditional love and forgiveness for ourselves and for those who hurt us.
My dad asked me “Where did we go wrong with you?” When I wouldn’t babysit my niece on my day off. I legitimately always babysat my niece and wanted one day.
Uhm.. It was wrong of him to make you feel bad about wanting to rest instead of taking care of a child that's not yours. **and yes, I say this b/c I hate babysitting 🤭🤭
The one about singing literally broke my heart… 🥺 I love singing, I loved it as a kid too, so I can imagine how painful that must have been, especially from a parent who should’ve supported her. Please, start singing again 🙏🏼 I really hope she’ll finally be able to get her voice back. She deserves it.
The most painful thing anyone told me happened last night. My best friend told me he thought less of me as a joke. I’ve been extremely insecure about almost everything about myself recently and so hearing my best friend say that to me… it didn’t feel like a joke.
They are not a best friend for sure... that was so cruel. I know I'm just a random person of the Internet, but since I've lived similar experiences like this one, I think the best you can do is to never doubt about your self-value as a person and get away from them as fast as possible. People who say stuff like that are not worth of your time and love. I wish you the best and never give up about your dreams!!
I usually don't watch these kind of videos but instead just end up listening to them. But I literally watched this on fullscreen. There is something about watching people's eyes and facial expressions up close as they think about their pain of the past and how they react to it. It's so humanising and is a great reminder of how impactful the little things are.
The amount of trauma we get from our parents is unbelievable.
The trauma of our parents from their parents is usually even worse. Doesn't undo the damage on us but just the bitter reality of humans.
Ikr? Sad reality:(
And it's something you never get over
And they mostly don't even know. You need to know your own scars and traumas to be aware of the impact you have on your children nd how your past affects them. Not many people are self-reflective enough for that.
@@vanillemor5009 sometimes its less about being reflective and more about plain survival. To face your traumas for what they are is terrifying and most of us would rather do anything but face our worst fears head-on as that means doing the most excruciating task of healing.
The fact that most of these are things their parents have told them just goes to show how being a parent is something that not everyone is suited for.
Indeed. Are you making a baby for you or for them?
True, but even the absolute best parents are only human and are going to make mistakes, and will unknowingly or unintentionally hurt their kids/family members. It's something we ALL do weather we mean to or not.
I opted out of parenthood because I knew this is what I had to offer.
@@ville666sora yes, but being a good parent is about recognizing when you are wrong, and know how to apologize when you hurt your kid. Also it's about creating a close bond where you and your kids will be able to talk with you openly. Most parents don't acknowledge when they hurt us, and they blame us for having feelings, saying we are overreacting and dramatic. Or they just never even apologize. Being a good parent means knowing you are not perfect and seeing your kid as a human being with real feelings.
Many people become parents before they are mature and experienced.
A quote I always remember is: “when you keep criticizing your kids they don’t stop loving you, they stop loving themselves”
As an individual with one verbally abusive parent and one absent parent, this rings true for me.
Wow... that is such a true, painful but powerful quote!
@@sofienummers I can resonate. Started reading Alice Miller's book thereafter.
This quote resonated ...
I'm not crying:(
🥲 That hurts parents should really have more insight of the things they say to their children, somethings should never been said. As children we look at our parents as the people that know us the most so when our parents discourge us and belittle us we believe them and we grow up thinking we are not worthy of love, so we cope with this feeling by pleasing others or drugs or other bad things
I had to fight back tears at the lady who doesn't sing anymore because of her Dad. I so wish she'd have held on to what the lady said instead
The exact same thing happened to me. I'm able to sing alone now but no one has any idea. He did that to me over a few things.
Grow TF up
@@smokyquartz5817 That also really hurt me deeply because I also sing. I was really insecure about it and didn't have the self-esteem to sing infront of people. If the people around me didn't encourage me and instead said negative things about my singing, I would have never been brave enough to take initiative and sing at my graduation. I'm so sorry he hurt you, no one should ever discourage their own child ,or anyone for that matter, especially in their formative years. I didn't have a good singing voice in the beginning, it wasn't terrible but just not really great and a friend of mine recently wrote me a card saying, and I quote: "[...] But what I regret, is that I didn't believe in you at first. I just didn't really listen to you or payed attention. And now I'm soo happy (I mean that with full earnesty) that you continued to sing and practice! Because it's just so incredible to listen to you. It really is an angels voice that you have and I love it!" I cried at that because my music and singing is still a sensitive topic to me. She felt that way at first but she didn't tell me and I'm so grateful that she chose not to. What I'm saying is, don't ever let people tell you your worth and how good you are at something. You are able to achieve great things and people will try to tear you down, be it jealousy or just them not being happy with their own life, but you shouldn't listen to them. If you like singing, then fucking SING! You don't have to be good at something to be doing it. I assure you that as long as you sing with your heart and have passion, I will want to listen to you, no matter how good you are. I may not know you, but I see you.
it broke my heart
@Rainy The same thing happened to Taylor Swift. It inspired her to write "MEAN"
To the woman who was ignored by her Father about her singing....
Sing your pain....sing those feelings. You will heal. 🌹
How utterly adorable she must have been as a little kid singing Moonshadow. She is still adorable now and I dearly hope she sings again.
She might want to listen to the lyrics of MOONSHADOW to find some healing. ❤️🩹
Please... Do EMDR. This will help you relive that moment and process it as a grownup. You will -for sure- be able to let go of that hurt and open up all kinds of possibilities ❤️
!!!!!!
I feel the same my family doesn’t care I can sing or want to listen to me sing …only my boyfriend loves it when I sing he tells me to sing to him …and sometimes at night he wants me to sing and not stop lol
The lady that spoke about her dad telling her that her voice was horrible when she was nine so she hadn't sung since really crushed me. They all crushed me, but that one really got me to the core.
The pain she felt mustve been immense, my grandma told my mother the same thing, and that she's dumb and cant learn anything, she still believes it to this day, it hurts my heart, my grandmother was a sweetheart on her old age but thats unforgivable
Well said, learn to sing or shut it.
Its wasted potential... nothing is worse than that. I hope that lady finds the strength within her heart to sing again because I am sure she sounds absolutely beautiful
and she still remembered it
I had a similar experience with my mother, she herself told me to sing a song about mothers (mother themed)... But she yelled at me and made me repeat it over and over again telling me that I sang terrible. Since then I feel a great discomfort when singing, I don't do it and only when they force me but little, I can't even remember the lyrics of the songs, my mind just floods. This happend was when I was 8 now I'm in my 20's.
To the woman who stopped singing, please never give up trying to get your voice back it’s possible and you’re not alone and you are so much stronger than you think
I really hope she can find her passion for singing again, if she is still stuck with it it means she probably still loves it and would like to try it out, it's never late!
Yeah, cuz literally anyone can learn how to do it beautifully, especially those who do it with love.
Hope you find your voice again beautiful lady ❤️
Yeah...and the first thing I thought when I heard her (even before she told her story about singing) was that she has a beautiful voice
Even just her speaking voice is beautiful. That broke my heart… her dreams were shattered in just one sentence, by her father. That makes me so sad…
It's crazy how the most hurtful things come from that ones who were supposed to love us.
Say that's true
Some of the worst things I heard about myself is from my parents.
that's precisely why they hurt, oftentimes. A stranger saying something hurtful can be brushed off, but not when it's someone you believe cares about you.
That's betrayal
It hurts so much because it comes from those who we think should love us unconditionally. Anybody else can say the same thing and it would get brushed off for the most part
We let them see the cracks in our armor and they use that weak spot to hurt us where others never would've known to hit there
The woman whose father told her she should never sing has a beautiful speaking voice. I can just imagine how beautiful her singing voice must be. I truly hope she finds her song again.
Same. This broke my heart. I hope she starts to sing again.
❣
Yes, that part made me tear up. I thought the exact same thing when I heard her speak...beautiful voice!
I could relate. I love to sing. My grandmother told me all my childhood "oh God how off tune this girl is!". When I was 21, my mom offered me singing lessons for the first time: my coach was so amazed by my voice she wanted me to enter the conservatory of music. But till this day, I can't sing knowing someone can hear me. Up until now, my mom never truly heard me sing. It took me 4 years before being able to sing in front of my husband. The first time he overheard me singing in the shower, he was so in shock and touched, he told me "Wow your voice is amazing!". He's the only one I sing to, because of his genuine reaction. As for the rest of the world, I freeze because how insecure I still am with my voice. Thanks grandma! And the funniest thing is, growing up and learning singing techniques, I realized how aweful my grandpa sings! I share the same great voice and love for singing as my mom, as well as her insecurity around it. So I guess grandma screwed two generations after her!
I was thinking the same! Her voice sounded so youthful.
The fact that almost all of these involved parents is absolutely heartbreaking.
And school. Home and school should be where kids/teens feel the most safest and encouraged...
it makes me realizes how bad parents are and still are… I had to pause the video and think on the one where her dad told her daughter her voice is horrible. I relate to some of them too because my mother isnt so nice sometimes and has fucked me over mentally
It's not that surprising though, because the things that hurt us most are the things that people say, who we love and I think that we never love anybody as much as we love out parents, when we are kids.
My mum said to me l was a mistake
The thing is that parents don't realize how much we value their words, so when they say something bad like this, we engulf it with our very soul and it puts a permanent scar on children for ever. I would know because my mom always calls me useless
Every parent should watch this to see how much their words can hurt their child. Be kind, everyone! ❤️
Definitely it’s so sad 😞 I make sure I don’t say anything negative to my kids because I remember all the hurtful words I heard as kid 😑!!!
Completely changed the course of some of these people’s lives just with a few words. It’s very important.
Very true
If they cared, they wouldn't say them in the first place. They don't care.
Words spoken by the homeless shelter manager, after the house fire that took the lives of my spouse, two daughters, and two dogs. "You're now a family of 1" . 😭
The fact that woman hasnt sang in all these years and is SO emotionally devistated by that loss... means she really was good and it really was her passion and imagine whats awaiting under that lock and key if she could be brave and let her voice free again.
Dont ever let someone else change who you're meant to be ❤️
She should go on the voice or one of those shows to regain her confidence - at least practice and try out - she should sing
It’ll be interesting to watch a video about “What's the worst thing you've ever said to someone?” I think we all have regrets.
Countless times I've told people to take themselves off the planet. I said it out of anger and always regretted it later, because I never knew who actually followed through with it.
The worst thing I ever said to someone happened in sixth grade. This girl Sam, I don’t remember how the conversation started, but she said that her mom told her she was beautiful. I remember saying, in a very sinister way, “your mom has to say that, she’s your mom. She doesn’t actually think that.” And I remember seeing her lip quiver out of the corner of my eye and seeing the tears fall. She was a sweet kid… and after that she changed. She turned to a lot of bad things for validation… and I think my little comment is what started that domino effect. I was in a bad place in my childhood at the time and I think back to it now and tear up… I probably ruined her life in some way with that comment. Sam, if you ever see this.. I’m so fucking sorry. I had my own shit and I took it out on you. You ARE beautiful, and your mom saw it before I ever could. Please forgive me.
@@HospitalForSouls.X you were projecting your own wants
@@OtterThanMost so you are that little boy on the playground that liked a girl but would bully her because of your own insecurities.. typical
My family bullied me to the point of wanting to kms, and I told them that they should put themselves before anyone and that family didn't matter because one day we'll all grow apart and I still regret it.
This teacher got fueled by everyone laughing at that poor girl for looking like a "depression commercial." Teachers can actually be the biggest bullies. The ones that try to impress the cool kids in class are the worst.
Exactly why I disagree with the whole - all teachers are angels - sentiment
Oyy I remember those ones. They want to relive their highschool glory days 🙄
back in middle school ,My math teacher bullied me in front of the whole class for being bad at math , now i suffer from social anxiety :) BECAUSE OF HER ,she was the literal epitome of a sadism and narcissism at the same time she would roast me every time she had the opportunity and oh she enjoyed it as fuuck , , I wish talked back when she verbally attacked me i was and sweet and nice af
Man once i pictured myself shooting her in the head ( 🤣 just to ease my thoughts )
The teacher who did that is honestly evil and deserves all the shit that comes their way. It also makes me wonder why no one tried to intervene and help the poor girl. I certainly would have done even if it meant me getting excluded for punching the teacher in the face.
@@kjm1529 Or take a second chance after they didn't have highschool glory days. :/
The dad telling his daughter her singing voice was horrific absolutely broke me. Why would you ever say that to a child? 💔
Not knowing the future people say lot of things.
Hurt people hurt others
Jealousy pure and simple
@@teamcedricdiggory never excuses that behavior. Being hurt doesn’t give the privilege to hurt others. If your hurt you should talk to someone even if it’s just a friend. I’m not trying to invalidate anyone’s feelings but it’s not fair to hurt others bc your hurt.
@@swaggykassie How did he excuse their behavior? They simply said that people who are hurting hurt others nothing about that excused the abusers behavior. If you can’t see the difference then you really shouldn’t speak on stuff like this
it's incredible how parents can hurt your feelings and not notice their actions at all...
It's truly heartbreaking
I think I heard somewhere that there is actually a psychological reason for this. "The easiest pain to ignore is the one we cause to people we love the most" or something like that. It's a defence mechanism in order to avoid seeing ourselves as monsters for hurting them. Every parent / lover / sibling / friend etc. does this. You and me as well. Best we can do is be more mindful and kind, but every normal person has a healthy bit of narcissism that protects their self image.
Yeah because They are not Perfect beings sometimes they talk without thinking Sometimes or out of their own struggles if you take every word,people say to you seriously,you will end up killing yourself....
Or do notice
parents don’t need to work hard to send something past your defenses. You trust them and need them, so you take what they say as true, even when they say something about you. So an offhand comment they make can be foundational because you believe it.
To them, it wasn’t usually an attempt to wound you, it was swatting a fly, something that was annoying them and they commented on it. They probably forgot the next day. The power you have as someone’s parent is massive and you need to respect that
Just sent my son a text to ask if theres anything I ever said that hurt his feelings, the good news is we can become the parents we needed.
💓
Love this!!! It's never too late to improve or try to make amends for past mistakes.
That’s fucking weird.
💗💖
I always knew I was gonna be the Mom I wanted/needed.
it literally changes everything - i was just called pure evil by my mother - my soul is broken
You can apologize but you can never remove the damage that's been done.
Ha and that's the worst part..
Really? Can't there be some exceptions to that? I'm asking this not to argue or anything like that but because part of me would hope that if I ever apologize and feel sorry for doing something wrong to someone, I could do something not to undo my actions (since that ship has sailed) but to repair the damage or make things better than before.
@@corncobbob2326 as long as you can truly mend the damage with your actions then an apology can repair the damage, but this doesn't mean that the other person will forget, there is a saying about "forgive but don't forget".
I discontinued my education for 8 years at the age of 15 and I wanted to restart it at the age of 24.
My dad said, " schools are for children. Not for those who had wasted their time. You are a grown ass woman now. Won't you be ashamed to join the children who are almost half of your age? You should stay at home and do house chores" .
These words tore my heart. I wanted some encouragement and appreciation from my parents on my life changing decision but couldn't get a single soft word😭😭
Edit: I am a certified medical doctor now🥰🥰
I completed my education after my marriage with the help and support of my hubby.
There is never any shame in getting an education and creating a better life for yourself. Your dad did not want you to improve. I would love him from a distance.
@@misshoneynevercame4832 I was a drug addict and victim of child abuse. I had a tough childhood and teens. My dad was not supportive at all as he and my mom always fought. After every fight, my mom used to leave the house and I had to cook and clean for my siblings as I am the eldest. At last, things were getting better, he quit alcohol and was doing a job. He was happy for me when I performed very well in my medical university. We lost him in pandemic due to covid 19. I still love him. In his last years, he tried to be a good dad and he really supported my siblings.
So happy to know that you got to complete your education and have supportive partner 🌸 there is never an age requirement for education ..we are learning all the time ,doing that through an educational institute is not a bad thing.
You are so inspirational 💖💖
@@nilushiexplains9154 I'm happy for you that he changed at the end.
I got pregnant at 18. I was 8 months pregnant, in the bath, my mom walked in and looked at my belly. She said, “I will never love that baby”. Now her and my son are very close. But the trauma she caused during that pregnancy. Really messed with my bond and connection to my baby. I’ll forgive. I’ll never forget.
😮
There’s still time to strengthen that bond💕 ?
The guy who was told "I love you" hit the nail on the head. It is truly the most painful thing a person can say to you when it is a tool weaponized for selfish motives. I've never believed it again.
you can tell by his voice that he was definitely messed up.
@@reginaldfairfield yes for sure heartbreak is not a joke, I understand why some people even kill their partner that has betrayed them cause that’s serious pain
@@tlanxe682 uuh yeah no. wtf. definitely don't understand KILLING a person, and yeah heartbreak is real. people who kill their partners don't do it cos they're hurting, but cos they're controlling and abusive.
@@nogodsnomasters6963 not really, people with abusive partners tend to live in fear and their parter is checking where they are 24/7, so cheating would be last thing they’d do even if they can somehow get away with it
And I’m not saying it’s right and you don’t have to agree but I can definitely understand, when I got my heart broken I fantasised over stabbing the guy a lot and I would’ve been very much capable of it, don’t fuck with people’s emotions like that
I only believe it when my family say it
The most painful thing I've been told was "you're a liar" by my Father. He said this to me after it came out that I was molested by a family member throughout my childhood.. I didn't tell anyone for years out of shame and fear so for him to say that only confirmed my fears and deepened my shame.
I’m sorry :( you didn’t deserve that
You are not a liar. And please, don’t carry the shame. You were not at fault then, and are still not at fault now.
You're stronger than you will ever know. You are not alone. Stay strong my friend.
So sorry for you . Stay strong . God is with you.
I feel your pain. They chose them over their own child. Reflect on other things they didnt support you with. Thats how they are. Its definitely not you.
The singing lady got me. I never cry but I burst into tears. Truly so painful to imagine how different her life may have been if she was supported in her talents. I pray that she heals and realises it’s not too late.
Same here. it was immediate tears for me, after she said what her father told her. How awful for a parent to so swiftly and brutally destroy their child's confidence.
😭😭😭😭😭
I feel her 😭💔
Amen🤍🫶🏻🙏🏻
My sister would tell me she was annoyed at my guitar playing and singing, and she once said she didn't like my voice. And I don't pretend I'm great or something but it does hurt your confidence, and ruins something you just do because you enjoy it. And I married and my wife has actually said the same things, like she didn't really say she didn't like mt voice but that my guitar playing was annoying and excessive and repetitve. and there was a point where we had like a huge fight and then I looked at her face and promised I wouldn't ever play again, at least in front of her.
As a mother, I’m SO glad I watched this. And to the woman w the burn, I think the scar actually looks really cool!!!
As a woman. You couldn't keep your legs closed?
@@vandalsavage6743 excuse me? You’re pretty pathetic watching videos like this and then trolling someone.
@@chloeclingerman9883 And so ?
@@vandalsavage6743 and so what
🫡
Unfortunately, the most hurtful thing to most people came from their parents. :(
|
Edit: But we can ensure we don't do the same to our kids. :)
Words from important people of your life hurt most
Parents or other mentors like teachers, guidance counselors, etc. Basically, it seems like the words coming from the people who are supposed to protect and support us, matter the most
I'm not gonna go into detail but the most hurtful thing I have been told also came from one of my parent. (Mom)
was about to comment this but yea :/
@@bbbublez143 you will heal
The most painful thing someone has said to me was “he didn’t make it” from a police officer at the station. I lost my fiancé, soulmate, high school sweetheart of 7 years due to gun violence. That hurt me beyond anything. I was screaming and crying almost fell to my knees. The most traumatic thing that has ever happened to me.
I hope you're doing well darling
And i'm so sorry for your loss
love you 🤍
Yes...similar here. "He's gone" is what I heard. I thought I might die as well.
I’m so sorry for your loss
May he rest in piece. I'm sorry for your loss. That's truly awful.
I'm sorry for your loss
I will never understand parents who intentionally try and hurt their children's feelings. My heart is so heavy for the ones being told they are good for nothing, can't sing, and useless. I just want to give them the biggest hug.
All love 🫶 ur comment made my day
ur comment made my day, thank u 🥺
Once I was about 10 years old and me and my family were staying at a rental house and it was an old farmhouse about 2 hours away from home so me and my 3 other siblings were staying on the top floor and it was just one really big room with a small, narrow winding staircase and I was incredibly mad at one of my sisters one night while we were there because she was making fun of me and taking my things and so I pushed her down the hallway toward the stairs not realizing where I was going and she started crying and my mother came up and said you could have hurt her if you ever do that again we will leave you here alone. Then later that night she came in and said I love you but now I will never believe her after that.
Don’t worry I don’t think about it much anymore it doesn’t bother me but some days it hits me hard like a rock after forgetting it for a while.
"I hope you ll get r*ped by your dad"
I was in a private elementary school were our teachers were nuns, all the kids there hated me for my looks and tastes (context, i had really big frontal teeth that would gap out my lips), i got beaten up almost daily and also the kids from the other grades were mean to me (for them is because I befriended the only autistic kid at the school, who was older than me). They said that when they were leaving after pushing me down a lil mountine near a football camp, i hit my head hard on the ground. I never told my parents at the time, but years later, i ran away from my father s home, he always manipulated me and abused me, making me think it was normal to live that way because I was wrong.
I live with my mom now and I started my own life and I made my first friends, she s now to me my only parent.
That’s horrible. You don’t deserve any of that. I hope you’re healing now.
Sending you virtual hugs~
You didn't deserve that! I'm so glad you are now starting your own life. You have the rest of your life ahead of you! :)
Sending lots of love and strength 🫶🏻♥️
To the woman who no longer sings... My parents told me the same thing and I started taking singing lessons a few months ago and IT. HAS. CHANGED. MY. LIFE! I cried my way thru the first few bc i carried so much pain from being told how terrible i was, but i swear, better than therapy bc the body let's the trauma go 💕 you deserve more people in your corner telling you that your voice is beautiful.
that's so awesome
As long as your voice or singing make you peaceful and happy that's the matter dear.
Where are your singing videos? Post them
Even if your voice is not beautiful, all the people should sing. It helps to process all the emotions that we are going through, I'm a singer, I can feel it on my own skin that it's such a good therapy for me.
@@Jaabir21 still too shy! But maybe one day (:
I cried for the lady who sung. Some parents are so cruel
It’s fascinating how we can brush off some pain pretty fast and other pain stay with us for decades, defining us, in a way…
It is crazy
I wonder how many of us are just hurt children who grew up trying to wrap their minds around all kinds of trauma
sometimes the most ridiculous and small thing that people think won't hurt anyone may actually be the most traumatizing memory for them
@@sargentocapitao9668 - Suspect we ALL are. 🤷🏻♀️
If you die tonight, do you know where you're going? Did you know that Jesus Christ is THE only way to Heaven and He loves you?
Through Him, God offers you a FREE gift - forgiveness. All you need to do is repent, turn away from your sins and evil ways,
from now on put your faith completely in Jesus Christ and be obedient to Him.
Biblical explanation of the Gospel:
God doesn’t want anybody in hell because He loves us, but you must understand why
we deserve hell and why those who refuse to live under His authority will go
there. (Matthew 12:30) ''Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not
gather with me scatters.'' He gave us the law (Ten Commandments) not to make us righteous, but
rather to show us our sin (Romans 3:20). God gave us free will and since Adam
sinned in the garden, sin is the nature of our flesh and we ALL have sinned. (Romans 3:23)
The law demands death to those who sin (Romans 6:23).
Revelation 21:8 says that all liars will go to hell.
For someone to be justified before holy God they have to be sinless, that's why everyone need Jesus Christ - for He lived a sinless life and resurrected.
None of us are good in God’s eyes, because for God good means moral perfection. We all
have broken God’s commandments, we all have sinned in our lives so none of us
are good. ‘’For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is
guilty of breaking all of it.’’ (James 2:10). Our carnal mind is hostile to God; it does not submit
to God's moral law and it never will (Romans 8:7). We hate the thought of God for the same reason a criminal
hates a policeman - we know we have sinned against God and are guilty of it, but we don't want to be damned.
Good News is that Jesus Christ lived a perfect, holy, sinless life, Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures,
He was buried and He was raised from the dead on the third day according to the Scriptures (1 Corinthians 15:3-4)
For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever
believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.’’ (John 3:16)
We aren’t saved based on our good deeds/works, but only by the grace of God through faith.
''For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God -
not by works, so that no one can boast. (Ephesians 2:8-9)
Jesus said ‘’it is finished’’ (John 19:30) just before He died on the cross, which means He paid the fine for our sins
(past, present, future) to be forgiven if we repent and trust in Him.
''What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? Certainly not!'' (Romans 6:15)
''Repent therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out'' (Acts 3:19)
Repentance is a turning away from sin and all evil works, and it always results in changed behavior (Luke 3:8).
Biblically, a person who repents does not continue willfully in sin.
While sorrow from sin is not equivalent to repentance, it is certainly an element of scriptural repentance (2 Corinthians 7:10).
Do not play a hypocrite. ''God is light; in Him there is no darkness at all.
If we claim to have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth.'' (1 John 1:5-6)
If you have repented and have genuine faith in Jesus Christ then you will receive the gift of Holy Spirit and be born-again spiritually.
(John 3:3) Jesus replied, "Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again."
When you believed, you were marked in Him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance
until the redemption of those who are God’s possession - to the praise of His glory. (Ephesians 1:13-14)
You are born again with the Spirit of Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17).
Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life; whoever does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God remains on him. (John 3:36)
''You will know them by their fruits'' (Matthew 7)
If you have been truly born-again with the Holy Spirit and He has regenerated your heart, you will desire righteousnes -
to do what is good and righteous in God's eyes, to seek God everyday in His Word and prayer, to strengthen your relationship with God.
You will no longer desire to willfully continue living in sin but will want to obey God out of your love for Him because of His amazing grace
revealed to us through the death and resurrection of His Son.
''Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.'' (2 Corinthians 5:17)
''For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.'' (Eph 2:10)
You will have a testimony - of what your life had been before and how has it changed now when you have surrendered it to Lord Jesus Christ.
As a declaration and affirmation of your faith in Jesus Christ, get baptised in water because He commanded us to do so.
In John 3:5 Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit.''
''Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit'' (Matthew 28:19)
''Those who accepted his message were baptized, and about three thousand were added to their number that day.'' (Acts 2:41)
''And this water symbolizes the baptism that now saves you also - not the removal of dirt from the body,
but the pledge of a clear conscience toward God - through the resurrection of Jesus Christ,'' (1 Peter 3:21)
''We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that,
just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.'' (Romans 6:4)
''Having been buried with him in baptism, in which you were also raised with him through your faith in the working of God,
who raised him from the dead.'' (Colossians 2:12)
Please get right with God and start your relationship with Jesus Christ today before it’s too late, because there’s not much time left!
"But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.’’ (Mark 13:32)
Get to know Christ through God's Word - Bible. At first I recommend reading Gospel of John and book of Romans. God bless you!
Jeremiah 29:13 - ''You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.''
The guy that said that he wasn’t told “I love you” from his parents growing up; I can relate. That was painful for me too not to hear that. My mother in 2022 passed away in hospice. She never told me I love you growing up and I knew one night that I might not talk to her again the next day. So I decided to say I love her and for the first time she turned to me and said she loved me too. I was in shock. My breath was taken away. That was the last thing she said to me and I carry that in my heart everyday. It meant so much to me to finally hear her say that.
“I feel bad for whoever you end up marrying” “no one will want to be with you” -my mom when I was 12. She denies having ever said those things but I never forgot. It carried into all my relationships- I never felt good enough for the people who loved me.
My mother has said the exact thing
My mom says this to me a lot too. She says this when we get into arguments. I’m 21 and the things she says that are meant to hurt me are slowly just something that I get used to hearing.
parents aways seem to forget it or push it away. If I tell my mother "you said to me I am boring", she always says "i would never say that!". Well, i certainly didn't make it up
Yooo what is up with mum saying f up things and forgetting it 🤣🤣.... My mum told me that she wished she could somehow legally disown me like legit and now she denies it
I feel you. My mom has said that to me time and again as well. It really sticks with you
This is _one_ of the reasons I'm terrified to have kids someday. The capability parents have to deeply scar their kids is huge, and even the best parents can't avoid hurting their child through imperfections at some point to some degree.
It especially hurts that a thoughtless word can scar someone as deeply as some of these people have been. I know it's part of growing up and confronting our own insecurities, but it's still amazing how much power words hold.
I used to think this too, but I eventually learned that we are all imperfect parents and self awareness goes a long way,and being open to learning along the journey.Apologising to children when you get it wrong is a powerful thing to do - it validates them and gives them the respect they deserve..
I would think the opposite- the fact you are already worrying about hurting a child’s feelings nodes well that you would be a good parent instead.
"you're a waste of time" and "nobody will ever love you" was what my father said to me all my childhood, today, at 19 I see how cruel and pathetic someone has to be to raise a child blaming him for simply existing. It's like they say whoever talks forgets, whoever listens doesn't...
❤❤❤We love you.. what a waste of space for someone to say that to you
😑 he must have so much pain in his heart. So sad he didn't recognize it and blamed it on you. YOU are GREAT and VERY VALUABLE ❣️
Very probably yr Dad was treated the same way that he treated you. I see my Mum just repeated what was said to her and I can sympathize with that. But from my Dad it seemed very cowardly even though I know he had it tough.
Thanks for the comments ♡ I see my father's actions as bitterness, on top of all the violence I grew up with, but in the past I've tried to understand his side and how he was raised. Only I couldn't, I couldn't watch him mistreat me every day and still seek his love and approval. I gave up on that, it was between choosing myself or letting him kill me.
You’re special and you have value god bless you
my mom telling me I am boring was hard for me. It is incredible what parents say to their children...
People criticize others based on what they don't like about themselves.
been told this all my life as well
"I resent the idea of children."
My father has 5 children, and he said this to me lightheartedly. He didn't think it would hurt me.
awful.... I wonder if he felt resented as a child & is simply passing along that hurt :-(
yeah kind of a weird thing for parents to say tbh. i'm a mother of 4 kids and was talking with my dad 1-1 recently and he was suggesting that i've 'got may hands full' or wanna pull my hair out or something, and i very confidently told him no, that i love being a mom, and that any future children would be seen as a blessing. and he goes "yeah you say that now, but eventually you'll be sitting there looking forward to the day you get your house back and your piece and quiet back and all that free time again". i immediately replied that 'then my kids will be bringing along my grandkids and i'll enjoy that, too" but i think about what he said a lot because it confirms to me what i felt as a child. that we were a burden.
If your dad didn't want children he could have done something about it. He chose not to. Don't feel bad about other people's choices. Don't let him put that on you. He made his bed.
@@allyson-- it's very possible; his relationship with his dad is awful. But he's also always been like that - he said his only responsibility was to financially support us until we were 18. Then, we and/or he could decide if they wanted a relationship.
@@lettus143 I can kind of understand his answer tbh. Children can definitely be hard work, but it's also obviously very rewarding at times and worth it if you actually want to be a parent.
I've always had panic attacks at school and whenever my dad would come to pick me up he would say to me "Stop looking for attention and entertaining other people " as if it was something I wanted anybody to see me go through.
I'm sorry that he wasn't able to be there for you. It must have been very hard to deal with on your own/without his support. Sending you love & light.
@@sunmarsh thank you so much. It was hard. and seeing this video triggered my anxiety a bit more but it feels good to read your kind words
Was it from social anxiety ? Because i had the same panic Attacks before going to class every single day ,which was essentially form social phobia
@@cerineche7269 yeah that's it. Suddenly I would not be able to breathe well, feeling numb, tears. Like everything is falling apart. Although it does not occur to me often to extents that I'd feel like it's gone and when it Suddenly happens it's always really worse
My stomach always hurts at school and i start tearing up because of bullies. Then it's time to go home...😓💀
When I was a child I got bullied pretty badly in school, but never told anyone. Once I finally had the guts to tell my mother about it and she said „if nobody likes you there has to be a reason for that“. That stuck with me forever
That’s so sad. I’m so sorry to hear you had to go through that then the nasty comment from your mother was the nail in the coffin 😢. I hope you have been able to heal and release the pain. Remember that anything nasty that ever comes out of a person’s mouth is them projecting their own self-hate in some way, shape or form. It actually has nothing to do with the person it is directed at. It’s just mirroring. And funnily enough, people who get bullied a lot usually tend to be the sweetest, most sensitive and kind people. No doubt you too. Be proud to be a beautiful gentle soul 💜😊
Our mothers say the most hurtful things and they don't even realize the damage
Me too. I was tortured in junior high daily, then went home to a place where everything bad was my fault.
@@user-jb4rz7kx5h that’s true, I was bullied *every day* no joke, even physically all the time, but I was literally so loving and caring and loved Jesus soooo much. I was such a light and I would definitely want to be friends with my younger self. I wish I could still be the little light I used too be, almost everyday my parents and sometimes even siblings or relatives (also old friends) would say how much I’ve changed and I’m not the go-lucky girl I always was. Don’t get me wrong I’m still kind, it’s just after some events I kinda feel like I’ve lost myself.
And it just hurts me every time they tell me that, I wish I could be the Ashley they want.
Sounds like the first bully was your mother. I’m so sorry. Don’t let mom win. Be happy and thank you for sharing. It takes a kind and sensitive soul to share one’s pain. You are loved. And you are lovely.
Parents have a really huge impact on their kids, alot of the hurtful things came from parents
i feel so bad for that girl who said her father didn’t enjoy her singing. you’re supposed to encourage your daughter, not hurt her. i feel lucky to have parents who let me reach for my dreams as a child , whether they were real or not
That first guy is solid, the way he recognized the hurt in the past but had moved on and still showed love is incredible. We need more people doing this (myself included).
or we could let people heal at their own pace and on their own time
to the woman who was ignored by her father and then told her that she couldnt sing,, that woman was 100% right, she knew you had a great voice and soul and wanted to tell your father probably to be nice and to hope that he was proud of you. he chose to be critical when you were proud for the first time. its very shattering especially from an adult. i hope you sing your heart out in the car or at home when you get ready. your heart needs it and youre amazing i love you
That part where the women stopped singing because of her father hurt my heart. Choked up. Just heard my daughter sing her heart out on Christmas Eve a couple days ago and it was the most beautiful thing ever. ❤
I noticed those 2 older men, the one who was told he was not the parent of his babygirls and the one who cant even hear "I love you", just imagine what this man went through. And they're both clearly form the "bottle-it-up-or-you're-a-wuss" generation so you know its all deep inside somewhere,
at least most women and younger men in the video seem to at least be able to manifest their pain but these guys felt like they'll explode if they even talk about it
I understand that man that said "I love you" and I really really wish I didn't
and those 2 answers were the ones that made me shed a tear (or more)
The focus is always on women! Nobody cares about men. Men are dismissed as non essential. Have you ever heard anybody ever tell little boys that it's special to be a boy(a good boy) then tell them, Men built everything that you see, every car, road, tall building, house, everything you eat, women's safety and every comfort women enjoy, electricity, Air-conditioning, plumbing and every electronic device women enjoy, yet men are hated in our society. Every woman raising children alone, how is it working out for you?
@@BeADad2447 well if women were given the right to education it wouldn't just be men. If women could of had their own bank account and work to earn money and just be allowed to do everything men were allowed to do women would make up so much more of history. Even against all those odds though women were still able to create and invent amazing things that have helped our society.
You think women weren't also looked down upon for their emotions? They were called hysterical and were never taken seriously. A woman couldn't speak her mind other wise she would get beaten. She couldn't cry otherwise she would be mocked. She couldn't be anything other than fake happiness. She was expected to rip apart her body for children she sometimes didn't even want because she had no other choice but to marry and bear children.
You are simply a misogynist person who's obsessed with trying to make yourself feel better about all the atrocities men have done to this earth and to people.
Men are not the minority in this world. Just because our society wants equality for everyone doesn't mean men are being pushed down. You're just threatened that men are finally exlected to take accountability for their actions instead of getting away with everything.
@Sargento Capitao: Well the problem is, what does "manifesting their pain" do for us, for example in this very instance? I guess it gives us a video to watch (that makes us sad, anyway), but does it give us cheaper things we can buy? Does it innovate? Does it improve our standard of living? At the same time we are "enjoying" this video, "mean" businesspeople on the other hand might not have manifested their pain to a level that we consider to be "enough," but they did improve my standard of living if I buy their product at a very worthwhile price. We can quibble about how much _more_ that businessperson might have improved our standard of living than they already have, but I am not sure it would happen through acting more feminine, because who exactly are our role models for that? People who are not building businesses that seriously improve our lives? How many more of those people do we need to have? Presumably there are exceptions but the focus doesn't even seem to be on the exceptions; the role models are often supposed to be random people in videos that "manifest their pain."
If we saw a businessperson manifesting their pain, and it was about smartphones or something, we would be worried that we would lose our smartphones because we think they might lose the will to run their business. The only thing that might keep this from happening is if we believed that the businessperson that replaces them _wouldn't_ act like the previous one, so that they could succeed in keeping the business afloat so that we still have smartphones available. We might want the phones to be cheaper, but if we think making businesspeople more feminine is the answer, we would also hope they wouldn't lose sight of what the business needs to stay afloat and grow, and not become too separated from that due to a bleeding heart, for the sake of much of the consumer industry as a whole.
"but these guys felt like they'll explode if they even talk about it"
But is that not itself a strong expression of emotion? It seems like you yourself could surmise that they were in pain, so in that sense, they didn't fail to show that they were upset, because "holding something in," or at least what we often call “holding something in,” is in itself an emotional expression, even if it's not the flashiest one. If the person truly was holding it in, we wouldn't be able to tell if they were upset or not, but knowing that someone is upset but doesn't want to (_directly,_ is perhaps a suitable word here) show it, implies that they did show it after all, so it didn't stop us from perceiving of their feelings, and perceiving their feelings is supposedly what you wanted to be able to do, right? They still ultimately gave you what you wanted.
So I guess when someone is about to burst, basically, nobody is actually fooled into thinking they are not sad; perhaps the reason the person is holding it in is to just make less noise or make less flashy faces so that their sadness isn't so in-your-face because maybe they are not trying to make it about them out of some kind of (to their mind) politeness, rather than elitism of "oh look how cool I am because I'm tough" as if they want to brag about it or something. I think that often it's not like that once we leave the realms of, say, high school. For a lot of people that is just their habit and their intention in using it is not to make others feel inferior or "weaker" than them (oftentimes they want to do it as a favor (in their mind) to others, not so much as a favor to themselves). That's a really simplistic and one-dimensional way to look at this phenomenon, which might not be how you look at it, but it is becoming more common for society to look at it that way.
As I said, this approach still expresses emotion in a useful way and I don't know that it's bad - we should want to help people like that, rather than, I don't know, only help them if they express emotion the way we think they should - either way, if we care about their well-being, we should help them; we should help people of all emotional types, and then people will get helped, just as we wanted :) Meanwhile, let people express or not express emotion how they want, and respect their privacy about why they choose to do it one way or the other. They hear the advice of both their parents and society, but they as free adults ultimately decide who they listen to or if they listen to either of them, and don't need to justify their personality to anybody, and free adults still deserve help.
@@BeADad2447 there was also a lot of female inventors, scientists and so on. I think its a bit overboard when you say everything is built by men. Mostly its been that way, cause women werent allowed to do any of that for the longest time as well. Dont get me wrong, there is Jobs that are filled predominantly with male workers, cause its been that way for a very long time and also men are on average built stronger than women and there is still jobs that are not accesable to women, if they get kids cause of a bunch of other problems. So it all kinda conects together to form this big mess we are currently living in.
And to say nobody cares about men is also missing the point. I mean it would be healthier for men as well, when they can just be who they want to be, there is loads of men out there that struggle under societal stereotypes or that like being emotional or rather would have like to be given the choice to be more emotional, but werent given that choice from childhood onward. Nobody says men need to be like women or anything and nobody is saying that anything men feel or think or want is irrelevant. If men want to be strong and dont wanna show emotion that fine (as long as they chose that path and dont hurt others with it).
Men arent hated as men, the behaviour a percentage of men show is hated and thats cause some of those behaviours are just straight disrespectful towards other human beings. Its mean to generalise it, cause not all men are like that, but there is those that are, and their number isnt small. That behaviour is a consequence of societal pressure and stereotypical views and outdated methods and concepts of raising children. So its sometimes not even the fault of the men themselves.
"Hurting someone's feelings is as easy as throwing a rock into the ocean, but do you know how deep that rock goes?"
There was a girl in middle school that had a huge crush on me (I graduated in 2005). She would follow me around and try to grab my hand so she could walk me to class. I got annoyed one day and told her "I don't know why you follow me around, I don't like you" in front of everyone. Her heart broke before my eyes and she put her head down on her desk. She fought hard to not cry but everyone knew. I never forgot that and regret it till this day.
Could have told her in private, what an idiotic move, but its okay if you dont like someone, its normal.
@@theowlhouseseason3213 I'm sure you made all the right choices when you were in middle school.
I mean, she is a stalker
i guess it wasn't the best way to say that to her but following around someone like that is definitely insane and completely disrespectful, so it was a understandable way for you to react like that tbh
You graduated when I was born
3:06 that leveled me. As a musician myself, I cannot begin to imagine the pain and suffering she must feel everyday. I hope that one day she will rekindle her love for playing and singing.
Her story broke me down.. I’m also a singing girl who’s dream was crushed by her parent. I hope she sings that pain out. ❤️🩹😭
To the woman at 3:24 : please sing again. Even just talking, you have the sweetest most kind voice. Your father should never had said something so damaging, even if your younger self wasn't the best at singing. People grow. People change. And the only way to get better is to keep going. I have to say though, I don't believe your dad for one second. A complete stranger took the time out of her day to physically go to your door and express how beautiful your singing voice was to her. She was so moved she had to speak up and say something, knowing nothing about you except for your voice. That is true talent. Talent that spreads joy to all who experience it. It may be scary, but I do encourage you to try singing again. If it is truly something you love, it doesn't matter what you sound like at first. It only matters that you do what you love regardless of what people say.
"are you acting stupid on purpose?" said to me from my best friend and her mother. Really ruined my self esteem and is the main reason why i'm so awkward and closed off to this day
Idk if this helps at all but Elon musk might act how ppl don’t understand but he’s hella cool and smart imo so I like to be inspired by people like that when I feel stupid
@@septicvortex8114 thats acc sweet of u
@@septicvortex8114 thank you sm. That really helped me get over it 🤍🤍
Sadly it was from my mother's side of the family and my older brother. Always calling me , Retarded, stupid , idiot , autistic etc. And this also came from my mother too. So till this day it still sticks with me. Burg thinking about it , who was with me to help me study? Who was with me to encourage me? And now I know it wasn't my just my fault. I was a child. And those people calling you those names mean nothing. It's an opinion and not a fact. Those people that told you that have faults of their own. Imagine you pointing those out to them.......
@@Acord718 I'm so sorry that happened to you, I hope you feel better now and yea I guess people just can't keep their mouths shut about other people, ignoring them is the best option 🤍🤍
Had a girl that I was close to (but just friends at the time), after talking back and forth about some of our past relationships, she says just casually, "its so weird to imagine someone being romantically attracted to you." the way she said it was as if she didn't even think twice about it being rude or not or whether it was painful to me. I still have problems putting myself out there to meet women because of it, 5 years later.
That was a horrible thing for her to say. I'm sorry.
Are you sure she was not talking about herself??
Do know know for sure she was not referencing herself as the you in the statement?
I myself have expressed thing this way to others and they understood I was talking about myself not them.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I've been told worse living with a disability and all. I've learnt and still learning to see the positive in whatever people say to me. It's not being delusional.. just a matter of being kind to yourself and knowing everybody is worthy of love.. despite what others think.
I'm sorry, but was it obvious that she meant you as a person or just in general? This was about romantic relationships right? ...I probably read that wrong. The way I read it gave me Aromantic vibes, because that's a legit way of thinking sometimes.
@@voice_0f_reason yeah, we were both talking about our past relationships and in response to me talking about mine, she said that to me.
It always strikes my heart that one single moment can cut into your soul so deep that time cannot heal it. I still remember my mom telling me "the music you listen to means nothing". we were in the car. I was 13. I was trying to show her a song about sexual assault. I'd been assulted by her husband, my step dad. She did back track, and try to fix it, but the wound was dealt. I cry now typing this because the pain still overwhelms me.
“Forgive while you still can”
This resonated with me deeply
Also apologize while you still can
To the woman with the burnt hand: It doesn't look ugly! If I'd met you and saw it, it would never have crossed my mind that it's ugly or weird. It's just unique!
You're so sweet, I would have thought the same. I have a pal with a purple mark of beauty on her eye, and I used to tell her it was adorable. And it was 😊
"Medusa" your hair is gorgeous... don't let anyone tell you different!
I grew up with a lot of verbal abuse from my mom, but one moment that stood out from the rest is when I washed a pot that she wanted me to and I made sure to do it so well that it was SPOTLESS, but even after it all she told me I was "good for nothing and cant 'clean my own ass'". In that same time span, I found myself in an abusive relationship where one of the most hurtful things my ex boyfriend said was that he wanted to break up because I was "ugly"
i’m so sorry, ur ex and ur mom r so wrong for this
@@gucctae6147 yup they sure are. My ex used to use my insecurities against me as punishment if I went against him on anything. I wasn't aware at the time since I was used to it, but I learned and became self aware. Now I know who to weed out and I've healed from a lot
To the women who was told she couldn't sing: "There are a lot of people here who would want nothing else then to hear you sing !" Sing sweetie, sing ! You're father was wrong. He made a big mistake, don't let that mistake define you anymore.
Right?! I was hoping for a little snippet of her singing in the video too. Wishing her all the greatness and happiness in the world
I really hope she starts singing again
My heart hurts for her.
in my head, I also said SING HUNNY.
my parents divorced when I was 3 years old, so there was a constant custody battle and I went back and forth between them. when I turned 18, my father no longer had to pay child support and decided to cut me out of his life. after not hearing from him for about a year, my mother called to ask why he hasn't been around for me and he said he doesn't have to and that I'm useless.
that was the last words I ever heard from my father. "he's useless". I'm 27 now and that still sticks with me.
You’re father does not DESERVE to be in your life; he was projecting his $H*T onto you. ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
I'm sorry to hear that my dear. I'm here to tell you that you're so much more than those words. I truly admire your strength, and I hope that you are now surrounded by people who love you and treat you with respect. Lots of love❤️❤️
You most definitely are not useless. But it sounds as though your father is. 💙
I'm sure it'll probably never leave you but you can move on from it. People say things like that because they feel about themselves.. it's who they are it's absolutely no reflection of you or who you are..
hugs
"I don't believe that anymore." I cannot stress enough how strong that sentence is.
“I don’t know how to unstick from that.” That statement broke my heart.
7:22 min - Breaks my heart to hear this, teachers like this should be charged with child abuse and never work with children ever again.
"You only brought misfortune in our life." Said to me by one of the most important person in my life. Can't hate her though. But every night I just cry it all out
That comment was made so that you would would take on the hurt they gave you. Don't let them win. THEY brought misfortune into YOUR life. Don't ever forget that you are separate from them, their pitiful insight about their lives are completely false, and that you are not "Just Someone", but an incredible person, full of potential to create a life that they could never attain because unlike you, they have no compassion. Compassion is a strength. When used correctly, in a way to heal others and yourself (not destroy yourself or your abilities), you will be able to do things that not many people can... to make this world a better place. Believe in yourself. Try to keep your compassion, but disconnect yourself from those that will crush you under the weight of their corruption. Spend as little time with those people as possible and choose the people you spend time with wisely. If they turn out top be the same, drop them immediately. Your worth comes first, before their need to put you down. Guard your heart. Raise yourself up, because people are not insightful enough to see the worth of people, unless that person see's their own worth.
Look yourself in the mirror every day and say 2 reasons why you have worth. Never let anyone say that you have no worth again; look at them, smile sincerely and kindly (like the more noble person you are), turn politely and walk away. Then never waste your time listening to their lies again.
I'm so sorry 🥺
@@ethiopiazoldyk4667 awww thanks.... I'm always trying to be okay. But you know it cuts my heart too deep sometimes at nights, and I just can't stop crying... I'm working on myself emotionally & mentally, I always tell myself that what others say doesn't define me.
@@justsomeone6099 yes. I also hope you get better. This world is filled with such mean and evil people 😫
They just go out of their way to hurt others. Just be positive and try to surround yourself with good people.
@@ethiopiazoldyk4667 awww, thank you so much for saying that! I think you're so niceee!❤️
The most painful thing I ever heard was the cry of my foster kitten.
When I opened the door, he was sitting next to his sister's cold body, and I don't think I'll ever forget the look on his face as he cried at me.
I quickly buried her, too in shock to feel anything. But when I went back in the house and only two kittens sat on my lap instead of 3, that's when I broke.
It was probably the worst day of my life.
I am so sorry. I read this and couldn't help to cry... as a cat lover and owner I can understand your pain and what you went through.
I'm very sorry but if that was the worst day in your life, you're definitely very lucky human. I wish you that day stays the worst of all and you won't experience anything worse
@@thatElene I had a terrible childhood and adolescence because of my mother and yet the day my cat died before my eyes remains the worst day of my life. So stop judging without knowing shit seriously.
@@elise9533 you seem to have a really terrible life if my comment triggers you that much
@@thatElene you don't know shit about them
The worst thing that I ever said to someone was to my ex-girlfriend who is also a single mother, I told her she was cursed. I regret it to this day. Please be careful on what you speak
I'm autistic and I always had trouble with math. But at one point I really wanted to get it, so I attentes some tutoring after school, and in class I asked a teacher a question because I was stuck on it. But the teacher and the cool kids already moved on, so he said in the meanest way " I figured that you weren't on the same rhythm as the rest of us. " and laughed, accompanied by the whole class.
I just wanted to learn but he made me abandon for good. All I remember was the sense of unfairness, that I really wanted to try my best and give effort to keep up, but i'ts seen as an inconvenience to others. I have the lowest self worth, and I always have anxiety and apologize from fear of annoying others. Because it's like my whole self is annoying. Till this day I hide from other ppl most of the time to avoid getting hurt
I am autistic too and have hearing loss. Growing up, I was always called mean things like the R word, which I will not repeat in the comments or “stupid” along with “Bitch” or “fat cow” or “whale” because I was always mocked a lot for my weight also which triggered eating disorders when I got older. Moreover, I was molested also around that age. It wasn’t until 2021 where I started recovering from them. Also, struggle with mental illness because of all the trauma and abuse I went through.
🤍
I’m Autistic myself and there’s been things that have hurted me SUPER PAINFULLY too. And thanks for sharing this🥺💕❤️❤️❤️
I’m sorry for that jerk’s behavior that’s a child not an adult. How dare him!! He’s a bully and he’s wrong about autism. People with autism are some of the smartest and most beautiful ones I have ever met. Sending love❤️anyone who talks down on or embarrasses someone like that hates themselves more then we could ever imagine. Good people don’t go around hurting other people!!😢
Hi, I am sorry to know about your situation... I also relate to something like this... In my childhood, the teachers told me and my parents that I am so dumb that I can't score well even after studying hard... And in my job, my manager says that I am not capable of working... It genuinely hurts me why everyone thinks that I am not worth learning and growing my career...because in reality career and academics had always been my priority...still, people never believe that I can ever get success in life... But irrespective of everyone's opinion about me... I am working hard on myself to settle abroad... So, even though ... I need to get a checkup done on whether I have any learning disability or not... I genuinely feel that no matter what...everyone is capable of learning everything... Some mathematicians flunked math... So, never doubt your self-worth based on others... If you genuinely want to be good at something...you will be ... Unless you believe in yourself ...
The dyslexia thing hit deep. As someone with dyslexia I have been told so many disrespectful things about it. From 'I wish I had dyslexia' (by fellow students) to 'I don't believe you have dyslexia you are not stupid enough' (by a teacher).
Hi, I am also dyslexic, wasn’t diagnosed until I was 20. During 5-11 years old I was voted/labelled the “dumbest in the school”. On top I also had a stammer. I still remember this, I am 32 now.
@@Mini-n6l Sadly, your story feels very familiar. I've been tested for dyslexia many times when I was younger but was only officially diagnosed when I was 16 and could no longer cope in school. I am sorry you had to go through this. I hope you're doing okay now?
@@EllaWH 👋, thank you for your reply. I am trying to move on, not easy. Redoing my life all over. How u getting on?
@@Mini-n6l Hello there 🤗 I just wanted to let you know it gets better the more you acknowledge your struggles and reach out for help! Growing up no one knew I had a disability, I was just labeled as dumb or lazy by many teachers (even after I was diagnosed). But now I'm 25 and studying for aerospace engineering. I've been praised by many professors compared to the teachers I've had. I do admit my dyslexia sometimes makes me feel less about myself for not being able to read elaborate words or completely understand articles/books... Know that we're able to do anything! If not better! It just takes a little bit more 💞
@@WAK_5 thank you so much, this was very kind of you!!!!
Why within seconds of watching this channel do I feel so many emotions I feel like your videos hit a chord with all our lives and what we go through
It shows humanity and not lies, shows that everybody had gone through hard stages or moments. That makes me feel not lonely and I like it, might be your case aswell :)
@@MandarinaSeca it is I feel very alone at times no judgement here thats whats amazing about this channel
Yes; we are blessed to share these experiences.
My dad told me to stop calling him because he had “other kids to take care of”. I was 18 years old and was sick with a flu. It was right before Christmas and our big family Christmas party (something I LOVE) and it was one of the hardest christmases I’ve ever been through. I usually remember each one but I can’t remember that one. I’m 26 now and it still bothers me but I don’t like to cry about it because he doesn’t get to make me feel that way anymore.
I hear ya, when I would call my dad because I wanted to fly to see him, he would say, I have a new family now" and I wasn't included
@@HeidiAmericanPatriot that’s so fucking evil. I’m sorry you had to go through that.
The most painful thing that has been said to me was by my parents. I was told as a child I wasn't to attend their funerals as I wasn't invited. I am 42 now and my father is elderly and very unwell with the inevitable coming and this still breaks my heart. Even as I write this I'm in tears. Sticks and stones hurt for a short time but words last forever.
I wish you the best, keep strong
Wow, that is hurtful 🥺 what made your parents say that to you? Like, were they under the influence?
It seems like your parents don't deserve to have you attend their funerals. Anyone who can be that hateful even in death deserves their own misery. You're better than them
Both parents were unbelievably cruel; never wished ill upon them but was happy/relieved when they passed. Took care of them both on that journey as well but have been depleted of forgiveness.
What the reason? Maybe they meant not to make you hurt by that?
I felt so bad for the lady who wanted to become a professional singer, its so sad to see how one of the persons you most love (dad) crushes your dreams in just one sentence, i hope she starts singing and follow her dreams again
"Crying is for poor people, you shouldn’t be crying. Go see a therapist, a therapist would fix you and don't come back until you're fixed." My dad to me after I tried to explain to him that I couldn't immediately come out of my room right away because I didn't want him and my mother to see me in tears after I had nearly cut ties with a friend.
Please cry, please communicate your pain, please reach for help every single time you need it. And I hope each time you will have someone there for you
This proves to me that some people don’t deserve to be parents
Strangely, this isn't the most painfull thing I've ever been told, but my father said to me a couple of years ago "you poor, pathetic excuse for a human being". I was 42 when he said that. My childhood was hell. I didn't reallise that parents don't behave that way towards their children normally.
I'm so sorry! Sending you hugs
@@HeidiSchigt Thank you for your empathy. You are a good egg. Peace and love to you.
Don't believe him, you're amazing even if I don't know! You're capable of anything
After the lady said she stopped singing, I cried my eyes out. Made me think of all the memories of when I gave up on so many things like playing the piano, dancing, and yes even socializing that I loved due to small but hurtful comments (to me at least) from teachers, classmates from school, and mostly my grandma. However, life goes on.
The most painful thing I’ve heard was probably “thank god you don’t have siblings, we couldn’t stand 2 of you” by my mom, several times throughout my childhood “jokingly” and when I was like “stop it, I don’t like it” she was like “oh, I’m just messing with you “ but it still hurts so bad
Please know that you're important and I'm so proud of you. I fucking love you so much :)❤
i was depressed and my mother said "dont look gloomy like that you are ruining my beautiful day" i got angry how the only the she said that day was this bullsht (which made me feel worser) we argued and she said "both you and you brother borned to annoy me" she acts like she never argued with me and she still thinks i am indebted to her for living a good life without problems
Και εμένα μου έχουν πει κάτι παρόμοιο
“The only reason you were born is because your dad wanted you…I didn’t.” As a kid I always felt that my mother had vastly more affection for my younger brother then she did towards me. As my brother and I got older, our friends and their families started to notice how drastic her parenting was towards me versus my brother. Feeling like I was unlovable, feeling that no matter what accomplishments I had or successes came in my life…she would never be proud of me. I was in my early 20’s when my mom said that to me and in that moment, I could feel that little kid inside who was still yearning for his mothers love, die. I’m in my 40’s now and I’m still haunted by what my mom said. I always will be unfortunately.
That’s so weird considering you’re the older brother. If she didn’t want a kid the first time then why did she have your brother after she had you? Maybe she just grew to like your younger brother, but not you. I’m sorry. She sounds terrible
Mine was my father. He said he wished he only had boys.
And when I was 17 he said a person like me shouldn't study more. You should just work.
Years later he asked me why I didn't continue studying
This just proves how words truly are the most powerful weapon. It stings your soul and sticks with you.
The most painful thing I've been told was when I discovered a heart disease when I was 16 and I was talking with a classmate about it in school. She wanted to understand what this disease could cause me and another girl who used to be a bully heard our conversation and say out loud for all the class that if my disease kill me she would buy an amount of fireworks and celebrate the end of my life cause I was the most annoying person she ever met.
It hurt me a lot for years and years, but now here I am at the age of 21, I still have this health issue but I constantly remember her saying that because now it makes me wanna fight for my life even more. I graduated, now I'm in college and sometimes remember that makes me sad but Jesus makes me wake up stronger every single day. I don't know where she is now, but I hope someday she could recognize that she failed trying put me down, it only makes me recognize the value of my life.
Brush it off. She was projecting her self hate. Every individual is unique and special. ❤
Proud of you ❤❤
I told my dad about me having an eating disorder and he said “you weren’t very bright back then and you aren’t very bright now” this is the same man who says he’s supposed to show me how a man is supposed to treat me.
This is mess up… a father shouldn’t say such things… I hope you never hold anger against yourself or ur family!!.. If they keep harming you its better to leave them
@@anunknownperson4018 thank you, I appreciate that.❤️
The worst comment I've ever read in this section... Jesus, your father is horrible
the lady that talked about her dad telling her how bad she sang...that was just wow. i feel bad for her but im so proud of her for going through that.
being trans, being queer growing up, being fat, I've heard lots of mean things but a moment that sticks with me is this one man who called me "blackie" in the most vile and violent way when I was 8-9 at a movie theater. I replay it a lot. it was the first time I blatantly experienced racism. I was so young, I was confused as to why he hated me so much because of my skin. I still carry it with me but im happy I had a wake up call so young because it prepared me for what was to come.
and boy, was there more to come.
My friend, my heart hurts for you. If you can, stop replaying that awful moment: it only strengthens the power it has over you. Try to let it go, and consciously choose to replay happier, kinder statements made to you. ❤️ It takes time, but it is very freeing.
When I was a teenager my mom said she regrets having me. Back then I was very naive and I thought she only said that out of rage or despair but now as an adult looking back I really see that she just finally said what she truly thought and she kept it inside for 16 years. She never apologized or took her words back.
That hurts. My dad didn't even have to say anything, when I was crying and begging him to not forget about us (he was moving out, divorce) he didn't say a word. Just sat there and soon after left. Months later we completely lost contact. I think he didn't really wanted kids, but he never vocalized it
@@karvistudios I feel sorry that you had to go through that terrible experience. Hope you're doing fine and your heart is healed🙏
@@ira6133 It will never be healed. I'm doing ok, but it's not easy, especially in highly demanding Uni that I've chose to go to.
I hope at least you had an opportunity to move on
@@karvistudios Nope, things only got worse. I moved out long time ago and my mental health is a lot better now that we live separately, but we are strangers with both my parents, we don't communicate at all. I see that they are feeling alot better since their kids left their home and I don't want to interrupt them. I'm glad that they're happy now, but there's a big hole inside of me and I feel like it's so wrong. But really there's nothing I can do. I can't make them want me or love me, so I have to let go.
@@ira6133 Maybe one day you will find your happiness and peace. At least I wish you do
"Words definitely have power." Amen to that.
i really hope to never be remembered by anyone as the person who's said the most hurtful thing to them
"raise your hand if you want abi to die" This was said during lunch in the 2nd grade by one of my classmates. Once it was said everyone who was sitting around me raised their hands. The situation only got worse as it was brought up to the teacher because I tried to make fun of the girl who said that after we got back to the classroom. My teacher rightfully told me it was wrong to make fun of the girl, as well as disapprove of what she had said during lunch. My teacher then gathered the entire class in a circle with the lights dimmed. She made us each state our case and I revealed to them how lonely I was and didn't have friends to play with at recess. I would basically just roam around alone and occasionally talk to the teachers who would watch over us. My teacher then said to me that I should let the teachers do their jobs. I just felt like at that point I didn't have anyone to go to. I didn't feel like I belong at school and now I couldn't even talk to my teachers. I also felt the same at home because I couldn't come to my parents about this. I didn't feel comfortable because I told my dad that I didn't have any friends at school a previous time, and he just brushed it off. My parents were absent while I was going through all of this, and continue to be as they are very conservative catholics, and I'm queer. They've shown their disapproval of me from things like taking down my bring me the horizon poster and putting a giant rosary in its place, to throwing away my clothes and pride flag because my mom didn't like them. All of these moments really drilled into my head that I don't belong and I feel like I really missed out on emotional intelligence. I feel so detached from my family as well as the real friends I did make later on in life. I struggled through the rest of my grade school days and up to college. I became the problem because the way I have carried this hurt has caused me to hurt and distance myself from others. I just turned 21 last week and I cried so much while typing this out. I have a lot of healing and learning to do.
I wish you a lot of strengh and love for your path! Be easy with you! It has been a lot and you done great so far! It isn't easy when you don't have a support system around, but there is a reeeaally big world outside. There are people who will come into your life and they will like you the way you are. Just be easy on yourself. And if it might help you, please talk to someone professional about it. It can help you heal. It will be hard. But it's going to be worth it.
Raise your hands if you think Abi is brave;
Me: raises both hands
You might feel suffocated and unacceptable of yourself right now but please believe me when I say if you hang in there long enough things will get better. Your identity was interrupted while forming and now you define yourself as others define you not as you uncover. Speak to someone, speak to little Abi as well and draw strength from her.
You stronger than you know. Be kind to yourself!
I’m in tears with you too. I know how it is to be lonely and treated like a problem…Jesus Christ was treated the same way on earth, misunderstood even by the closest people to Him. Jesus Christ is for the loner! “‘If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you’”
John 15: 18-19 ESV
You are amazing and strong for dealing with that! I’m so sorry people can be so cruel, they are the problem not you!
@@sapphirelane1714 perfect response...because it is true ✝️ 🙏
earlier this year I got into a fight with my dad. At that time I decided to drop out of university after just a short time of being there for some reasons (going into the details would take too long) and I also struggled with pretty big social anxiety and depression (still do but its getting better) and to make it worse i also had just quit a job that was supposed to fill the gap for some time before i could start something new, because of that social anxiety. I felt like an absolute looser, i was very lonely, i didnt know who I was and I had abslutely no self esteem. So with that in mind this fight with my dad started over something bizzare which i dont even remember exactly (i think i dropped a glass bottle by accident) but things escelated extremely fast and we just yelled at each other over everything that had been building up over the last months/years. And it was in that exact moment where my dad yelled at me "you will never get anything done anyways" or something along these lines, basicly him saying that to me just crushed me and fueled me with frustration and sadness because i also knew that he wasnt wrong. I ran upstairs, shut and then locked the door and immediately started bursting out in tears of frustration and despair, everything was just to much and i couldnt hande it anymore, i asked myself how did it come to this? why do i deserve this? is this my fault? Ive never experienced a breakdown like that at all, but it just was too much. I remember punching my wall so hard i still felt the pain in my wrist a few days after that.
After this day, I swore to myself that I will prove everyone wrong. I didnt want to be just a side character anymore. I didnt wanna be lonely and depressed anymore. I didnt wanna waste my life anymore. I want to prove them all that I am Strong and capable. So I started going to the gym 3 months ago and lost about 10kg (22 lbs) so far (started at 93kg now at 83) while also building up some muscles. I will also be going to uni again, starting in a few weeks and im also planning on getting a small job then to get some money aswell. Im still nowhere near to my goals as of right now but im working hard everyday to get my life that i deserve back.
Its kind of ironic, my dad telling me this was the most painful thing anyone has ever said to me, while at the same time, it made me realise that i needed to drastically change things in order to be happy again and it gave me the motivaton to prove them wrong. I still love my dad btw, I know that he just wants the best for me and he has been working very hard to provide our family all these years and i want to make him proud. Iam 100% determined to become a succesfull man and nothing will stop me from doing so.
if anyone has actually read all of this (which i dont think anyone will but still), thank you so much for spending your time reading this story about some stranger that you dont even know, I truly appreciate it. I want everyone out there who is also struggling to know that you are not alone and that things are going to get better if you start making changes in your life, even though they are scary.
Believe in yourself! You can most definitely do it! Set your mind on your goals and dreams! Don’t ever give up…ever!
I really am proud of you. I hope you get all the good things you want. I'm sure one day you'll be very successful. God bless you!!
proud of you❤️❤️
Keep going!! ✨
I read this and I'm with you. Keep going and don't stop working on yourself ever. You'll love yourself if you keep spending time with yourself and for yourself. Every little achievement counts. Keep going and I'm sure you'll make it. I'll try to make it too. Let's talk about this in a few years 'when' we do get what we've set out to do. All the best stranger.
The way these people are captured in these moments. It’s mesmerizing. Maybe I’m looking too deep into it but seeing the humanity in each person is such a wonder to me. To see someone is awesome.
"You're not a good person." It's not the most painful thing I've been told by my mother but definitely the one that stuck with me the most, because I was less than 10 years old and I just didn't know how to react to my grandpa's passing, which was my first experience with death. It shaped the way I give myself to people, and I end up getting hurt a lot in order to prove that I'm not bad or undeserving of care.
Every child deserves a parent but not every parent deserves a child. I feel for this people and just shows how deep words can remain with you no matter how many years go by. Let’s be kind to one another we never know what someone else is going through.
The gentleman at 11:05 has the most beautiful smile and eyes I think I’ve ever seen. His joy (even while talking about something sad) is palpable.
I think I'm in love with him. 😅
As a kid, I was always pretty isolated, when I got to middle school I had a group of friends who I thought I got along with, and one day I will never forget was one of them talking to me only, and said “we only include you because we feel bad for you.” I still carry that with me, and feel unworthy of friendships/relationships. I forgive, but certain things just cut too deep to forget.
Gosh I’m so sorry that someone could even said that. :(
Kids can be really mean, I'm sure that kid wasn't talking for everyone else in the group. Have a nice day
happened to me as well. I was friends with the "popular", extroverted girl who was never present in this specific group of people, she was with others. Then this specific group once told me that I shouldn't actually be there bcs they wanted to kick that friend of mine out of the group and that they were being "nice" and inclusive with me just out of pity. This was very hurtful since I considered all of them as my friends :(
Something similar happened to me once, too..
I feel the same way, whenever I meet someone I always tell them if they want to stop talking to me or unfriend me they can and I won’t feel offended at all, I’m used to it! I say not to beat around the bush, and I realize that I constantly apologize for really stupid things, like confusing them or messaging them at the wrong time.
My heart goes out to the lady at 3:00 and all out there who had to go thru the same bs. My dad scared me so much that for years I was only singing suuuper quietly in my room so he (and nobody) would hear my voice. I am still self-conscious at home... But how did I become a singer nonetheless? The voice inside was stronger and my passion for music just could not stay inside. The sentence "Don't die with the music still inside you" has been one of my life mottos. Get back in touch with you and that VOICE! It's healing and the tears are purifying. Listening to Christina Aguilera's fighter is still choking me up. Bless you all, also those parents who didn't and don't know better!!!
The most painful thing I've been told was "Can I go with someone else?", cuz up until now I've never been the first choice to any of my friends, and I still feel like none of my friends want to actually listen to me when I'm feeling down. Every person I know tells me and reach out to me when they are going through something bad cuz "they really feel comfortable talking to me and telling me their secrets" but when I need to talk to somebody, all of them turn their backs on me and go to someone else.
If you read this whole, ty ❤
there are people out there who will listen to you and treasure you, I hope u can find them soon
Infj / Infp life
This video made me cry so hard.
One day at school I was talking to one of my classmates, I guess I was very talkative and social at that time and was telling her about the series I’ve watched on weekends. She stopped me and said with a poker face: “That’s exactly why you don’t have any friends”.
Liz, it’s been so many years and I still remember your words like it was yesterday
"I felt like I was in-between worlds"
That's such a powerful sentence
Chinese proverb
‘The man who blames others has a long way to go,
The man who blames himself is halfway there,
The man who blames no one has already arrived.’
As humans we are all fallible and we are here living this life to make mistakes and to learn from them, the antidote to the pain is unconditional love and forgiveness for ourselves and for those who hurt us.
My dad asked me “Where did we go wrong with you?” When I wouldn’t babysit my niece on my day off. I legitimately always babysat my niece and wanted one day.
Uhm.. It was wrong of him to make you feel bad about wanting to rest instead of taking care of a child that's not yours. **and yes, I say this b/c I hate babysitting 🤭🤭
The one about singing literally broke my heart… 🥺
I love singing, I loved it as a kid too, so I can imagine how painful that must have been, especially from a parent who should’ve supported her.
Please, start singing again 🙏🏼
I really hope she’ll finally be able to get her voice back. She deserves it.
The most painful thing anyone told me happened last night. My best friend told me he thought less of me as a joke. I’ve been extremely insecure about almost everything about myself recently and so hearing my best friend say that to me… it didn’t feel like a joke.
They are not a best friend for sure... that was so cruel. I know I'm just a random person of the Internet, but since I've lived similar experiences like this one, I think the best you can do is to never doubt about your self-value as a person and get away from them as fast as possible. People who say stuff like that are not worth of your time and love. I wish you the best and never give up about your dreams!!
I’m so sorry that happened to you.
I think they're jealous of your potential and want to keep you down. So distance yourself from them and start shining!
Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.
I usually don't watch these kind of videos but instead just end up listening to them. But I literally watched this on fullscreen. There is something about watching people's eyes and facial expressions up close as they think about their pain of the past and how they react to it. It's so humanising and is a great reminder of how impactful the little things are.