Paul & Morgan, Must You Be So Condescending? | God is Grey
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- Опубліковано 2 жов 2024
- Paul & Morgan coach others on sex and relationships - but are they taking that call seriously? #Christian #GodisGrey #paulandmorgan
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Hey my loves! I’m disappointed in some of the below comments. Most are insightful/thoughtful but others are making assumptions about p&m’s life & demeaning her for not having a baby.
NOT into these comments, babes!!! Not reflective of the way I aim to lead this community - which is into thoughtful, kind discussion. You’re more than allowed to be angry and express that but please do so constructively.
Of course, this particular video I referenced was condescending but let’s not stoop to that level. Let’s show paul & Morgan how beautiful and compassionate the GIG community can be Xo
And PS - Katie, the author of the letter wanted her name used. She wanted to tell her story to encourage others to do the same. But thank you to everyone for their concern that this may have been an oversight!
God is Grey I just love your heart for discourse while still treating people like human beings. You reflect the heart of Jesus so much more than so many of these other Christian youtubers.
It upsets me that they were condescending to you, but yeah I agree. Everyone has the right to debate one another but it has to be founded on mutual respect. And they haven’t been giving you that respect. It’s frustrating. Feeling this anger is valid, but we need to stick with the situation at hand and not question their relationship with God. We can call out what they did that was hurtful, but still understand that they’re just people like us trying to love God and find their way in this world.
I’m not that up to date with their videos, but some people in the comments are saying that they made a video saying that coercion isn’t a form of sexual assault and some people are concerned because of the age gap between them.
I believe sometimes people with large age gaps can make it work (my great-grandparents were 10 years apart) but I also have friends who’ve left toxic relationships where they got together with a 26 yr old when they were 19 and didn’t know anything about sexuality or life. And they’ve told me their stories about how this older man became their world; their all-encompassing God.
I don’t know anything about Paul and Morgan’s relationship, it could be totally healthy, I don’t know, but sometimes these “good Christian marriages” (often with these age gaps) can have harmful elements that should be talked about.
That’s something I love about your content, Brenda. You’ve started so many conversations about recognizing abuse in a relationship and while I’m single rn, I know that when I pursue a relationship, I’ll keep your advice in mind.
Because a partner should never be your God. God needs to be your God.
That’s just my two cents, God bless 💕
THATS MY SWEET BB BRENDA!!!
Bee I hear you 100%. Anger is valid - I’m angry too ❤️ I’m not sure what you commented but I’m not meaning to specifically call anyone out - just to make sure objections and anger are expressed in a constructive way. (Calling Paul gay or morgan infertile are examples of the times we are stooping to a level we can do better on)
Hope that clarifies! Xoxoxo righteous anger is all good, love
Brenda Ilu so much 😭😭😭
Me, thumping my fists on my desk: SASSY BRENDA SASSY BRENDA SASSY BRENDA SASSY BRENDA
Kelsey Robinson 😂
I immediately messaged my friend so we could talk about her being sassy. I'm so here for this!
You know I really appreciate how non-judgmental and kind Brenda is but I also love it when she gets sassy.
Me too, honestly. But also I like how Brenda's sass is always earned. Like she's not a person to just get sassy for no reason.
You do realize that it is next to impossible to be non-judgmental, right? In fact the title of the video is literally: "Paul & Morgan, Must You Be So Condescending?"
THAT'S A JUDGEMENT!
@@BASSFZz true, but her initial tone wasn't judgmental. There's a difference between being judgmental and legitimately making critiques or comments on someone's opinions or bodies of work. They're related, but not the same. Like Brenda never questioned Paul & Morgan's christianity even though she disagrees with them. One of the most judgmental things you can do is tell someone they are not what they identify as.
@@thehippiecatholic Then...then...the Lord was the most judgemental person around. "Not everyone that say unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the Kingdom of Heaven. But he that doeth my will which is in Heaven. And many will unto that day, 'Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in your name? Have we not cast out devils and done many wonder works?' I will confess unto them, 'I never knew you. Depart from me ye that work inequity."
Jesus and his disciples REGULARLY warned us against False doctrines and teachers.
Fam, being diligent about what other Christians are saying and preaching is exactly what the Lord wants us to do. Where is the confusion mate? Are you really saying it's wrong for Paul and Morgan to question God is Grey's teachings...when that's what the Lord warned us about?
BASSFZz there’s a difference between questioning teachings and insulting people. Also, the Lord had the right to judge people, He hasn’t sinned. And the only fully human person who hadn’t sinned was Mary, His mother. I’m Catholic so this is what I believe. We have a right to debate one another but it needs to be founded on love and respect, for we fight not against the flesh.
So I’m an atheist but I love your videos. They are warm, compassionate, and good teachings for young Christians. Im happy you are on UA-cam. The world needs more Christians like you.
Josie Thomas interestingly, the bible is not meant to make us atheists feel comfortable . Christianity is not a philosophy or a set of teachings.
The fact this makes us comfortable means it probably doesn’t challenge our world view. Christianity is completely antithetical to our ideas - Jesus offended people everywhere he went whilst he was reaching out to those who needed help. The point about Christianity is that we’re meant to stumble on Christ and his word as recorded in the bible, and not the followers and their opinions and teachings.
Me, too. I came from a Mr. Atheist video a few weeks ago because I trust his opinions on people.
A S he mostly offended the super religious... those whom the religious turned their heads away from (sinners)... were the ones who followed Jesus
Also an atheist. Checked her through a mr. Atheist shout out
You guys look smart. How the heck you’re atheist. Think of it 🤔. It is because your parents didn’t care enough to teach ya he word of God. Hopefully, God calls your soul one day.
Morgan reminds me of that girl in high school who treats everyone like they’re stupid.
IKR... I had a mean girl in my church who she reminds me of. The girl made me cry many times in private after she humiliated me in front of others in our youth group.
She probably was to be entirely honest.
If Morgan wasn't the high school bully I'll eat my shoes.
I think she still is. She has the emotional maturity of a teenaged girl.
More like the “I didn’t see you at church/bible study” type of person.
Not to stereotype but they both seem like they grew up with everything handed to them, and people like that are often quite condescending.
I don’t think you’re stereotyping them, they do come off like that.
They definitely come from privileged backgrounds.
what is this gossiping? did you all pick that up from the Bible?
@@ComeOnPelican91 pointing out that P and M come from a very privileged background and they haven't grown beyond that narrow viewpoint isn't gossip. It is truth.
@@spacemonkey340 not that you can cite a video with a timestamp, but it's irrelevant to any argument about the interpretation of scripture. pure gossip, get your priorities straight
I can’t sit through a Paul and Morgan video. Morgan is a massive hypocrite and Paul seems controlling. But mostly because Morgan is super childish and looks / sounds high.
Controlling was my first thought as well. As someone who escaped an abuser their relationship scares me.
Sometimes i find Morgan is more mature when she does a video by herself.
The Pine Witch I’m happy you made it out. You are strong, don’t ever forget that.
I started a discussion about their relationship on reddit, and there were so many red flags about their relationship that was brought up in the discussion.
She almost tries to sound weird, maybe she thinks it is cute.... Then she is mistaken
Not religious at all but I find myself acting more "helpless" or "dependent" when I'm around my boyfriend. I take on a more submissive role with him but it feels like that's how our relationship shakes out and I think it's normal and doesnt hurt most people if they fall into it naturally. Morgan is straight up acting child like and it weirds me out. I hate the way fundamentalists structure men and women because it holds them both back from really understanding themselves. They're just fulfilling a role in a book. It seems to work out for these two but its hurting so many more.
Paul and Morgan cannot argue with you that is why they attack you.
That irritates me about them SO MUCH. I watched their video paling out "progressive christianity" and I was fuming. They totally were calling out God is Grey without saying Brenda's name and I'm like "wow, that's cowardly." Smh.
When people don’t have an actual rebuttal for valid points they just get mad and throw a hissy fit
Paul keeps reminding Morgan that "Hey there u already schewed gum, I married u and therefore u should be grateful." Even if he is not saying it, he is still talking about the subject of purity culture and advocating it. Of course that will affect Morgan's mental health.
Morgan couldn't even live the purity life that she claims is needed, who is she to judge and preach this message to everyone??? Just cause you have a platform doesn't mean you're not hypocrites.
pop off
And we don't really know if she even used to feel bad about her sexual experiences. But Paul sure makes sure she feels bad about it now.
@@outoSUMI I think it probably gets held over her head allll the time, he's the better christian after all.
Yessss!!! My husband and I always bring this up Hahahah she didn’t even wait!! Paul and Morgan met on tinder! Morgan’s profile said she wanted to snuggle! SHE wanted to kiss Paul before he was ready for it. Only reason she stayed “pure” during their relationship was because of Paul!They dated for 9 months before they got married.
I totally believe it, but is there evidence of her pre marital sexual experience? Like her talking about it or something? I’ve seen this in comment sections but have never seen proof
I grew up in Texas Purity Culture.
I was sexually abused by a partner but never said anything because "that's what happens to girls like me."
Nope. I know better now.
Kas M That is so horrible. You shouldn’t have had to go through that. Thank you for sharing your experience. Women deserve so much better. I have a friend who was in an abusive relationship and no one could see it on the outside until she left him and said he sexually abused her. Society, often affirmed by Christianity, have taught that women are meant to suffer. And that’s just so harmful.
But I know that Christianity and the tradition I come from, Catholicism, can also be very empowering. My friends always wondered why I was Catholic and social justice minded so that’s why I made a channel about it lol.
Again, thank you for sharing your experience with purity culture. You are beautifully and wonderfully made and no one can ever take that away from you ❤️
I'm so sorry
If I married the boy I lost my virginity to I would be miserable right now lol
Same!! I feel so bad for the woman mine went on to marry. He left her stranded with 4 kids, was verbally and physically abusive... and ended up causing so much pain by flaking out on important events with his children. The man I did marry is the most incredible man I ever met. We are coming up on 24 years together and we have a love that's very much alive and continuing to grow. I really dodged a bullet with my first guy.
@AFGThugonomics9 😂😂
@AFGThugonomics9 also atheist so your "wait till marriage" shit isnt gonna work on me.
@AFGThugonomics9 no way having multiple partners increases chances for break ups? Who would have thought! I dont plan on getting married and who are you to assume I didnt think my first was special? No where did I say he wasnt special or I didnt love him. I just said the sex sucked.
@AFGThugonomics9 😂 my story doesnt have to check out with you. You don't know me
“wise beyond your years at 25 or dumb as a door nail at 45” potentially one of my favorite parts of the video😂
That was funny😂
those 2 should not be allowed to have an internet connection.
I think they should have connection. They should use it to learn more, and to listen to the stories of millions and millions of people.
@@denisenicole8271 I would still like to believe people can change and learn new things every day.
They seem to be misunderstanding what people mean when they say you need to find out if you and your partner are "sexually compatible." The point isn't "is sex good with them the first time?" If you care about someone enough you can work with them to get better at sex. It's...
to figure out if you have the same sexual interests. If one person is into BDSM, or role playing, or toys, and the other just likes regular vanilla sex and gets EXTREMELY uncomfortable with anything else, you're going to have problems down the line.
to see if you care about the other person's interests/pleasure. If the partner you're married to doesn't care about how you feel during sex that's going to cause problems down the line.
to see if you respect each other's boundaries. If this person is prone to forcing you to have sex when you don't want to, doesn't care about things in your life affecting your sexual availability, that's going to cause problems in your marriage.
to see if you have similar sexual appetites. If you have a very high libido and the other person doesn't, if you need sex multiple times a day and they only want to have sex every other week that's going to cause problems.
to see if that person actually desires you sexually. If that person is asexual or questioning their sexuality but hasn't explored enough to know you do NOT want to wait until your wedding night to find out they aren't attracted to you like that.
to make sure there aren't any sexual disorders. Not knowing your partner has vaginal or penile problems until your wedding night because neither of you were educated about it or aware enough of your bodies is going to put a strain on your relationship.
to make sure you view sex the same. If that person only wants to have sex because they want you pregnant ASAP and you want to have sex to bond and don't want children right away, THAT'S going to cause problems in your relationship.
*from the comments*
to make sure you're not causing your partner pain during sex due to physical incompatibility. If he's too large/wide and she's too small/tight it will make sex extremely painful and there's not enough lube to fix that. (The reverse for either sex is also true.)
Lastly, for some of these you don't even have to have overt sex with the person. Talking to each other about sex and your desires is fine. (But if you don't even want to kiss or hug, that may make this difficult.)
YOU don't have to ascribe to any of these things. Clearly tney haven't and they're fine. But the fact that other people do isn't wholly unreasonable. And it would make for a more honest and helpful dialogue if they approached these view points from a sincere perspective. Morgan, who has had premarital sex, is making gagging noises when the idea of "sexual compatibility" with a partner is brought up. She's DONE this. How is she going to gag at the idea of other people doing what SHE'S done -- but doing it for well thought out reasons? If that's the attitude she takes regarding sex, she's not mature enough to be married. And this is something someone would know, if they were looking for sexual compatibility in a partner while talking with her.
Thank you so much for this! It's really important to know!
RoseEyed Valid points. This is why mutual love, respect and honest communication, etc, during every stage of dating is necessary.
I feel that Paul and Morgan lucked out in sexual compatibility. I cannot agree more with your reply to this. I had a couple of friends who waited until their wedding night and then had 10 years of a very sexless marriage. One partner was afraid of sex and identifies now as asexual. The other had a normative libido and expectations. They're now divorced. Had they had more mature discussions about sex, they likely would have agreed not to marry in the first place. The marriage has also been annulled and one of the partners is now remarried to someone with whom they are more sexually compatible.
This!
I am in a branch of the BDSM lifestyle. That is my culture. I cannot be with a a super vanilla person who is judging my needs and what I’ve lived in my past. And that is coming from a Christian VIRGIN! I know, unbelievable right?
Morgan might be the rudest, most condescending person I have ever witnessed.
I can’t believe how immature and condescending Morgan sounds and actually is. She behaves like a young teenager. And I say young teenager because I didn’t behave or talk to people like that when I was a teen. It’s appaling. Speaking that way isn’t going to bring people to their side. When I watch your videos or Mr Atheist’s about these two, I feel so annoyed with them.
She keeps acting the way I saw some others behave at 16. I was/am literally emotionally stunted too (ADHD) but I was never an entitled asshole about it even at 16, quite the opposite.
I teach 12 year old and this is kind of strange but they about the same or more mature that Morgan.
@@neutral3570 most 12 year olds aren't bratty, that's why they seem more mature than her.
I always found it strange how a young couple who just got married no longer than 10+ yrs out of no where are capable of teaching on the subject of marriage. They don't really seem that mature enough either.
Exactly
@marcus24000 Tbh I never get that entitled vibe from them. To me they were just giving basic Christian knowledge they were feed to all their lives and just repeating what was given to them assuming their audience knew what they were talking about from a caring perspective.....well I get what you mean by policing though.
I think they mean too well to do their channel out of entitlement in mind based on the impression I get.
But yes they are policing.
@marcus24000 Idk if you've ever grown up in church our grew up in a pretty decent Christian community but I can tell when someone feels like they're helping other by telling them what good or bad. My two youth pastors (they're a couple) preached in a black and white "if you live this way you'll go to hell" manner and they're a down to earth couple. I've seen some entitled Christians before and yes I don't think they're that type. I mean Paul seems entitled.
Maybe I should watch their vids again to be clear.
“Duh, you were just supposed to follow the rules and god would’ve blessed you, just like me.” lol, I love you. Sassy Brenda needs to appear more often.
😂😂 that was funny when she said that.
Paul and Morgan are the kind of teaching that I grew up with, and it is INCREDIBLY damaging. It’s the kind of teaching that caused me to not understand that my sexual assault, which happened while I was on a date, wasn’t my fault and wasn’t my sin. It’s the kind of teaching that caused me shame when I had premarital sex with my now husband. So be sassy, Debra. Because the things they preach are dangerous and harmful.
I don’t remember Paul and Morgan saying “of you get raped it’s your fault”
I'm sorry. That's terrible. it really is dangerous. I know another person that was very hurt by the crap they are preaching and I regret to say I realistically made mistakes also. I jumped into marriage and married the first guy I came across and even though we have grown and are very happy now we both agree it was really dumb for us to have done and yeah we regret our motivations.
No Name it’s more that they say things like, “don’t be a stumbling block for your brothers in Christ”, “we need to be completely pure”, etc. which creates this idea that if something happens to me it’s because of MY actions. Because I wasn’t being holy enough. So yeah, even though they don’t overtly say it, the effect is the same.
Jessica Livingston thank you. I have since come to realize that I didn’t do anything wrong and neither even makes me less of a Christian. But it took me YEARS to come to that conclusion.
@@NoName-be8vp they pretty much did in another video or maybe videos. They talk about putting yourself into situations and the friends you have which is all victim blaming
It's admirable that you think P&M might actually listen to anything you have to say and change their perspective because of it, truly it is. But I personally don't think they're capable of admitting they could possibly be wrong about a single thing they say, because then they could be wrong about _anything_ they've said.
Add that it's coming from _you,_ who they've branded as a CINO (Christian in Name Only, a label I proudly carry with irony since I've been questioned the same way you have for also practicing Christianity the way you do), and it just isn't going to happen. Especially from Morgan.
Truly I don't understand how a married woman can be so painfully immature. She behaves like a snotty 13-year-old mean girl who is perpetually stuck in middle school, and that's _really_ sad.
You're doing important work, Brenda. Keep it up. 💜
To the writer of that email- I wish you complete happiness and continued healing.
Thank you, Brenda. I don’t know what the internet did to deserve you, but I’m sure glad you’re here!
Thank you. ❤
4:45 "my opinion is bible-based. You're just an idiot"
Why did i laugh so much at that😂
😂😂
I'm not religious and I'm also Jewish; I have struggled with religious authority blaming my sexuality for past abuse and shunning me for even GROWING out of my skirts during middle school. I found you, was incredibly nervous to watch and I have become so enamoured with you. I've sent your channel to Christian friends of mine in the LGBTQ community with me, and we've all taken comfort in your faith and your gorgeous messages. To me, if there is something out there, I think you are exactly the person who should speak their word. Thank you so much, I could not have wished for a more beautiful soul to cross my path on here..
Paul and Morgan shouldn’t be giving this type of advice. They are both very mean and judgmental people.
And they don't understand anything they are talking about.
@@bharbadadson3579in nearly every video they make they are being mean. Telling people they sinning is mean and abusive. They are telling people that are doing nothing wrong that they are disgusting, broken, shameful and bad people. When they are talking about homosexuality they are saying that a gay person is just as bad as a thief or murderer. That is shit and abusive and mean. They just told a person they are worthy of jail because of who they love. That's mean.
The Bible isn't truth. Are you going to tell a Polynesian they are a sinner for their culture having tattoos? They don't believe in your religion and you don't get to tell them they are sinning for having tattoos.
They’ve said worse than this, but one of my biggest P&M pet peeves is their advocacy for young marriage and short dating/engagement periods. Their only reasoning seems to be along the lines of getting to spend more time with your spouse in the longrun, but I feel like that’s only something you’d say if you didn’t believe in an afterlife. If you’re going into eternal life together, you should spend as much time as you possibly can making sure the person you marry is someone you’d want to do that with!!! It doesn’t matter how many “earthly” years you get together after all, you’ll be together forever! This advice seems fully based on a need to justify their decision rather than give sound advice to their audience.
Love you Brenda! Im a trans person who has experienced so much rejection and shame from Christians and the church. Thank you for being so kind, loving, and humble in your videos. I’m so excited for your review of P&M’s book! 💖💖
Love You Brenda! You're the type of Christian that I strive to be! I have also been hurt by the type of teachings by Paul and Morgan deeply throughput my life, so thank you SO SO MUCH for being here and for spreading your loving words!
Hey, Brenda! Some of the items on your Amazon virtual baby shower aren't in stock anymore. You may want to find an alternative.
I really tried I’m sorry but I couldn’t sit through their video. The horrid attitude and blatant hypocrisy is unwatchable. I’ll pray for you having to go through their video.
I do the mobile ten second double-tap every time she shows a clip of them. I can't do it.
I've seen you before 🤔
Just a Random User yeah I’m everywhere....
Brenda, you are glowing :) love you
These two used to make me sad. Now they make me angry. The cognitive dissonance is staggering and incredibly dangerous. Here’s a tweet Morgan posted a year ago,
“You’re going to hell. You have a tattoo.” I’m sorry but I can’t help but just laugh every time I hear this these days. Because it’s VERY often. Like, clearly that’s the only verse in the entire Bible that these people know. And they love using it. 😂👍🏼👌🏼💁🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
Hmmmm. So it’s acceptable for you to ignore the bible when it comes to your tattoo, but when I want to get married to another woman I’m going to hell? 😡😡😡
Sort of Christian she seems to have a habit of making fun of people who criticize her rather than actually addressing or countering their criticisms, wonder why that could be...
She completely ignores the reason people are bringing up this verse.
i know loads of Christians who have tattoos so who is she to judge?
@@buffycatnip She herself has tattoos. The type of tattoo, color, pattern and placement... it makes me curious if it's a cover up tattoo. Yes, she does dismiss the reason people bring it up, I agree Audrey Jane... as well as everyone else in this subthread.
Sounds like she was being sarcastic, which fits her personality. Like why are you guys hating on them?
I am an atheist who is interested in learning more about Christianity beyond the examples I have experienced. I hope to demonstrate "a posture of grace, humility, an education" myself, and think God is Grey is helping me be more understanding to my fellow humans. Thank you!
I'm a former christian, but continually seeking truth. You are such a breath of fresh air. Thank you for your spirit.
You will be on TedTalk in a year or two! #GodIsGrey
Why a year or two, let's make it happen now!!!
Destinys beauty, this times 1000. She could reach so many people.
PLEASE ❤️
OMG totally! Please!
I'm an atheist (Mr. Athiest introduced me to your channel), but I can't stop watching and LOVING your videos. I grew up in church and was deeply wounded by purity culture. I never heard a point of view like yours when I was growing up and being exposed to that would have been immensely helpful. Thank you for spreading such a positive message that helps people instead of hurting them! And congrats on the baby! 💜💜💜
We still not talking about Morgan’s drug problem? K.
I used to follow Paul and Morgan and would leave every video wondering why I was such a bad Christian. Thank you for giving a voice to all young and growing Christians trying to find our place in God’s grace 💗
Mercedes Hein-Rede - it’s not about the sex you are having, it’s about if you feel bad for doing it. If you feel repentance (God would never make you feel shame), then God will help you be free from the bondage of your addiction someday! Keep praying about it! Stay repentant even if stuck in sexual sin. (Feels so good you can’t help yourself but let your boyfriend have you, etc, but still feel horrible about displeasing God, and want to change)
I love when you show screencaps to the messed up videos that you're responding to and we can all see that blue thumbs down button loud and clear.
We love our sassy Brenda❤
Brenda, you're too graceful for this world. Even in your sassy moments
I am so thankful for you!! I have had one hell of a ride with the church from purity culture into being used and abused because “the lord needed my service”.
Now coming out of it I have been really really really struggling to reconcile the incredible pain I feel from this and my strong differing opinions from the church at large, and also my love and adoration for the Lord. It’s been a journey of self love and healing and a whole lot of learning. All of that just to say that your channel has been such a huge source of healing and growing for me and I am so thankful.
My heart goes out to the girl who wrote you and I’m glad that she found you.
You are so right that they believe they know all because of their experience. The email you received broke my heart but the warmth I felt hearing how you have affirmed that persons experience as you have mine - it is amazing knowing that you are bringing the healing I believe Jesus is all about ❤️
You’ve been an instrumental part in restoring my belief that there are still good Christians that love people for being people without judgement. Paul and Morgan are the type of religious people I grew up with, and it’s extremely damaging to be within that toxic culture that they preach to their viewers. Thank you for holding them accountable. 🙌🏻
Rachel H - are they preaching that you arent saved if you had sex? Or are they preaching the truth of the gospel, you aren’t saved if you aren’t repentant?
A good Christian is not just walking in Love but in HOLINESS.
@@solomiam7272 None are good. The best we can do is give our heart to the Lord, which means we attempt to walk in Holiness. Grace is not a free pass to sin but many will still have sex because they are horny. It's the heart behind it that God cares about. I rarely do anymore because usually my repentance overwhelms my lust. But not always. Otherwise I would be Jesus Christ.
@@solomiam7272 Repentance is a requirement of salvation, not obedience. Brenda doesn't appear to be repentant though. Openly taking away from the word of God on UA-cam, saying fornication is not a sin when its clearly forbidden in the New Testament.
How long did Paul and Morgan date before they got married to scoff at wanting to date someone for a few years before marriage? Idk man, that sort of advice pressures people to marry quick so they can have sex instead of, yknow, getting to know the whole person and how compatible you are with that person.
i think they got married less than a year of dating
Happens to Christians all the time and many times they divorce.
also you make me think of Jesus and his righteous anger at the pharisees and the prevailing religious culture of his day. thank you!
OMG MORGAN’S FACE IN THE BEGINNING. I can’t... that’s so rude of her. I’m so glad you’re sharing your responses because you look at things in an unbiased way and aren’t afraid to agree with Paul and Morgan, even if they don’t want to be kind to you and acknowledge you as a Christian.
Sending love and good vibes 💕
I love this video because many points in the Paul and Morgan video frustrates me. For example 'you shouldn't be dating for a year or more.' Everyone's relationships are different, but more importantly, as humans we have to realise that speaking to others who have a different opinion from me is where we learn the most. Thanks for your wisdom, humility and kindness. Plus sassy Brenda is great too haha! xx
That is one of the dumbest comments from them. You should date someone for longer than 4 or 6 months. People age and change and worst of all hide things. The longer you wait the more you see and the more information you have to make a LIFE LONG decision (according to them). Why would you jump into a decision you are going to have to deal with for the rest of your life?
@@UlexiteTVStoneLexite Exactly! Even if both people are honest from the start there is a honeymoon period for new relationships. You may not mean to lie to a person or mislead them but it's easy to get swept up in new relationship shinyness. A lot of people start relationships and put their friends on the back burner temporarily but after a few months are ready to find some balance. If one person wants to hang out with their partner 24/7 and the other enjoys spending time with friends as well that isn't always evident in the first few months.
There are so many other factors that people just don't think of. Okay maybe you've talked about having kids but what about the logistics? Will one parent stay home or will you use childcare? Discipline style, stance on technology usage, expectations for the kids?
Getting to know your partner's family can also be make or break. Do they live close? Are Sunday dinners expected? So they just see them on major holidays? What are the expectations for holidays? Do you visit them, do they visit you, do you trade-off? When your partner's parents become older are you expected to care for them in your home?
The more information you have the better you can know if you are compatible. You don't get this information in 4-6 months unless maybe you don't work and literally spend all day discussing your future life together. It's way easier to have these conversations before the pressure of already being married.
@@karanolan so so much easier. My husband had so many problems just from bad parenting and really a lot of them were deal breakers but I was already under the mindset that I had to stay with him. And more things popped up within two years.
@@UlexiteTVStoneLexite hope you are safe and doing well
christians should be anti-shame, and pro humility and kindness
They say the want dialogue but they never respond to comments that don’t agree with them.......
That just shows how hypocritical they really are. Paul and Morgan don't want dialogue, they just want to stay in their comfy echo chambers and not face the reality that some of what they are teaching is harmful and that just because something worked for them, does NOT mean it will work for everyone else, especially those less privileged than them. If they really wanted dialogue like they claim they do, Paul and Morgan wouldn't keep shutting down opportunities that Brenda, Jaclyn, Mr. Atheist, and many others that think differently than them have given for a conversation and we would have seen those conversations on their channel by now.
I feel bad for Paul and Morgan. They come across as really hard headed, unapproachable, and unteachable. I wouldn’t be able to get through one of their videos even if I tried. It’s not what they’re saying, it’s how they say it. I’m still trying to figure out what I believe on a lot of these issues. I really appreciate your heart and how you approach these topics. Purity culture is toxic. Purity is not something you can lose, but something you can find.
Does anyone else have an inkling that P&M are in an abusive relationship? Seems like P has this hold over M.
i also feel like m is a bit manipulative
I’m 59 and still learning! I’m one who has struggled with doubts the past 15 years, and people such as you have helped me in my journey back to faith. Thanks for addressing these difficult topics.
So it took me a moment to actually comment this: when I saw your video I just wanted to cry. The inside of me just broke down. I've seen your videos pop up on my UA-cam channel (not constantly) and watched a few. And what I'm about to share is not popular on your comments...I am crying because of the teachings (majority) u are giving to this generation. And with all love & respect, with the love that Jesus has put in me, it's sad. I'm glad u read the bible, I'm glad u love Jesus, I'm glad u do talk about topics non religiously but this is all based off feelings. Not by the spirit. He who has the spirit in him/her knows when it's from God and not from him. I want ppl saved just like u. In no way do I want anyone taken somewhere else. Do not change His words. Do not add or take away from God's words. And teach TRUTH and not basing it off everyone else's feelings or yours. I do say this with all sincerity and love (no hate). And if this offends anyone I'm sorry but I can't hold back what God puts in my heart.
Amen.
That person who sent you the letter/message I really hope they're ohk...💜
Thank you ❤
@@Katie-kc9vm i feel the same...i hope youre alright. Thanks for being brave and bold. That alone tells me you're on a path to healing. God bless❤
Yeah, I was very similar to how they are at 25. I'm so thankful I did not have a platform because it is hard to live with the hurt I caused to people. The more extreme and simplistic the view, the more confident I was. Because it's just easier not having to question your own opinions and just have a simple list of rules handed to you. What started changing my perspective was writing an essay on how Christian ethics must be messy because it is based on a person and not simply on a set of rules, and how this is a positive thing because it can reach to the core of your being and not just correct your behaviour. I'm so grateful for channels like yours where I can learn how to approach topics and people I disagree with. Hopefully making me a gentler person and not one who can get away with anything because she is "right".
Amen! Good on you
Purity culture was a major reason why I left religion. The hurt and shame that it pushes is something that I hope goes away.
anna conigliaro - what is purity culture anyway? The idea that if you had sex you can’t be saved? Or is it preaching against formication and orgies as Jesus does, and to repentant for it?
@@LivingTrancefully it's vilifying sexuality and saying it's a sin. They tell people that having no sex before marriage is demanded by Christ under (pretty much any) circumstance. Orgies would definitely be a no from them and you'd be hardcore shamed from it.
anna conigliaro - have you not read your Bible? You wouldn’t be shamed but to not be repentant over sin voids the blood of Christ and our new covenant... the only requirement is repentance. You can’t have faith without repentance.
anna conigliaro - It’s not about the sex you are having, it’s about if you feel bad for doing it. If you feel repentance (God would never make you feel shame), then God will help you be free from the bondage of your addiction someday! Keep praying about it! Stay repentant even if stuck in sexual sin. (Feels so good you can’t help yourself but let your boyfriend have you, etc, but still feel horrible about displeasing God, and want to change)
anna conigliaro - do you want me to show you the scriptures... or have you read them just ignoring them?
Hi Brenda and community! I wanted to thank you for your loving and heartfelt content. When I’m here I can truly hear God’s love coming through.
I came to faith during college when I was really in a dark place- struggling with depression and active alcoholism. I found a student fellowship that falls in line with AG beliefs, and as my first point of reference, I didn’t realize that the theology I was learning was setting me up for a bigger internal struggle later on. The people in that fellowship were truly loving however and I’m so thankful they helped see me through that time.
I questioned my sexuality but felt I had to choose a righteous path. I got married and felt sooo much turmoil over that decision. My husband ended up lying about some heavy things that drove me to reconsider if I could stay in the marriage and forced me to confront my repressed sexuality. Divorce and being queer, two things I couldn’t reconcile with what I learned about God. So I stayed away for a long time. I still felt God loved me but I couldn’t figure out the dissonance between my head and heart.
Now, I’m in the happiest relationship I’ve ever been in-with a woman- and seeing your videos has rekindled that part of me that wants to seek the Lord. It’s encouraging to know there’s another way to interrupt certain verses from the Bible, and to trust that God is love!
I appreciate you so much. Thanks for being true to yourself. Love your peace.
I actually have had the opposite experience from most people apparently. My girlfriend orgasms really easily & it's harder to get me there. I think it has a lot to do with the psychological damage that the church & purity culture did to me over the years, but we're working on it.
It's very brave of you to say that. I believe things will work quite well with time.
Im sorry to hear this but yes time seems to be the great equalizer. I dont have the same pain but...i can accurately frame it as someone who wanted to hurt me deceived me and used my body against me...i wouldnt call it rape because i consented at the time but I didnt know just how much this person was out to destroy me and if I did I wouldn't have consented. It made me feel dirty even though no one told me I was. It made sex hard because it was no longer sacred for me...since someone had used sex and my body to keep me complacent with abuse. But...with time...and a loving partner...it has been healing. Time works it out. Im confident you will heal too. ❤ wishing you the best
Same goes for me and my husband. I fully believe purity culture took a real hit on his sexual side, and he really struggles, while I thankfully escaped the worst of it and I'm ok. I highly recommend therapy! It's been really great for both of us, and helped tremendously
Loga Ruga Mon - so you are still sleeping together unrepentantly? Or are you praying to stay pure and stop fornicating?
Taylor White - you are saying he felt impure during marriage because of wanting to stay pure outside of marriage? How did he struggle?
This video honestly was something I needed to hear and be reminded of. The other day, I opened up about some struggles with purity culture that I was having at home and with relationships in my life, because a lot of it affected by trauma. And my friend shut me down and made me feel like my experiences weren't real. That none of things I was saying were really happening in culture and literally telling me that my experiences were invalid because I was from a small town. It was demeaning and I tried to explain to her that this is a problem and lots and lots of women experience this. What I received was a lot of condescending looks and even eye rolls. Mine and others experiences shouldn't be invalid because they're different from hers. But, it was also shut down and I was left feeling broken and a lot of past trauma that I've worked through resurfaced.
So, hearing this video was honestly so nourishing and exactly what I needed to hear. I needed to hear that I'm not crazy like some people have said, that I'm not making things up, that my experiences with purity culture are valid. So, thank you for this video and thank you SO much for your channel! It's wonderful and I truly value the content you put out, so thank you.
Love you Brenda I wish all Christians were as open minded Paul and Morgan are actually quite toxic just like girl defined they think everything that everything that works for them should work for them they don't understand that all relationships are different great video
Liam O Donovan no they just live by the Bible ...
@@briannau.9492 lots of people live by the bible but they don't ridicule you if something different works for you girl defined are the same they think everything that works for them is the only right way and it HAS to work for everyone that's toxic Christianity
Liam O Donovan cause most Bible believing Christians believe the same doctrine.. the Bible even says not to follow a different doctrine that preaches a different Jesus ideal that’s twisted
But me personally I try to understand before seeking to be understood
@@briannau.9492 all religions are total cults the world would be better if religions didn't exist
I’m bisexual and my gay-dar is impeccable..impeccable.
Morgens husband is gay. He’s definitely definitely gay. So
Reeses Pieces as a fellow bisexual with a pretty impressive gaydar I agree I’m also pretty convinced that Morgan is at least Bi
I always take people’s sexuality at face value aka what they tell me because I always assume that they know their sexuality more than I do, because that’s such an intimate thing.
I don’t understand why the Church is so obsessed with sexuality, when sins like pride are mentioned like so much more. The obsession with sexuality is honestly cultic.
That’s one of the reasons I’ve been working with Affirmed, an LGBTQ Affirming Catholic advocacy group, sponsored by the Church.
(I’m a straight ally). I’ve dedicated a large part of my Catholic, liberal spirituality channel advocating for LGBTQ rights in the Church.
If we’re going to fight for equality, we must start by changing perspectives and always affirming the humanity of everyone and the validity of their orientation.
I wish Paul and Morgan could see that.
Been saying that for years :D. Just found a pic on Instagram where Morgan kisses his cheek and he looks like it's hurting him. He's so much more comfortable with this one male buddy he has.
@@thehippiecatholic Hey, I think that it is emphasized because it is the only sin where the entire person is defiled. You might not agree but soul ties are a real thing. People don't just exchange bodily fuels.
I get that this isn't the point, but you look absolutely beautiful here.
Thank you for your wisdom and compassion, Brenda!
I cant even begin to describe the damage that purity culture in the church did to me as a man. It's been years and I'm still recovering. Performance anxiety, feelings of guilt and shame still linger from time to time when I have intercourse within the confines of a loving relationship. I'm lucky to be in a relationship with a woman who understands this and helps to make sex more comfortable and enjoyable
So are you married now?
are you married
I’m glad you’re in a loving relationship now! I feel like we don’t hear enough about how purity culture affects men. I wish you the best of luck!
YOU. ARE. PERFECT.
You explain “God” and the belief perfectly.
Morgan is married and still asks like she’s in middle school
Gods words are for us to be united not for us to debate on. not taking sides. Hate the Sin love the person.
Morgan is incredibly rude. I keep trying to give those two a chance because I see myself in them. But then I realize I see myself at age 17, 18, 19...and they're in their mid-late 20s by now. It's gotta be willful ignorance at a point.
No judgement on the couple. They don't speak for me, a fellow christian. Thank you, God is Grey! My virginity loss was so shameful, my bf said he ruined me. I believed him. You help me remember who I am, and that my relationship with Jesus is wholly my own. I can't wait to gain more wisdom moving forward :)
Even Girl Defined (can’t believe I’m saying this) acknowledged that some people feel harmed by purity culture even though it wasn’t their experience
I am so glad I was introduced to your channel, I am Catholic and I hate seeing Christians like Paul and Morgan act the way they do and make good Christians look bad.
Christians would be way better off, if Paul and Morgan would just drop this nonsense, and Preach resposable and safe dating, going through real pros and cons, I would like them to stop judging Christians who have sex before marriage, and teach Christian safe sex, and body positivity, and that saving sex for Marrage is a personal choice. It would be nice!
Im glad you channel is giving different more healthy message..
I’ve recently found these channels and I’m in shock this exist. I believe that a lot of the messages and beliefs that Girl Defined and Paul and Morgan channel are are not only narrow minded, judgmental but very damaging and unhealthy. No problem if they want to live their lives under these beliefs (that is their choice) and I truly hope they are happy and Goodhearted women, but the fact that they are pouring out this message to other women and younger girls is insane and so damaging.
Women should respect, take care, love, get to know/ explore and be comfortable with their bodies, their sensuality, sexuality and pleasure. Do what they feel comfortable, safe and happy with psychologically, emotionally and physically... following their own internal sexual time frame, comfort levels and boundaries... Not letting modern culture dictate that, Not letting Religion dictate that, Not letting Men dictate that. Teaching girls that the natural urges, feelings and sexuality/ erotic sensations they have and feel and think are shameful, sinful and wrong can be so completely damaging and cause some severe self esteem and psychological issues in young women. Womens bodies are beautiful, sensual and amazing and should in no way be treated as a potential object of sin.
Also encouraging women to wait till marriage to have sex because that is what is right in the eyes of God, causes a lot of young women to enter marriages early on, without being able to identify if it’s the best decision and maybe not even being in love, for them just to be able to satisfy their sexual urges (which are natural) and not feel guilty and shameful about it... Causing a lot of unhappy not thought of well marriages which they get trapped in and potentially have babies before they are ready and prepared and wanting to do so.
I understand that now a days we live very confusing times in regards to sexuality in modern day culture as well as a lack of understanding of how Men and Women are wired differently around sex. Repression regarding female sexuality like the hyper sexualización and promiscuity are both extremes that are unhealthy... Repression and antagonizing sexual needs is very damaging.
It’s important to have openness, understanding, and support when teaching girls about their bodies, their sensuality, sex and consent and how they should do things on their own time frame as long as they are emotionally and physically mature enough to do so. I know these defined girls and Paul and Morgan guy seem like they have it all together, but I know a couple of close examples were young women have damaged their lives in a great way because instead of being taught healthy sexuality; they learned that sexuality was something to be controlled by Religion... not God but the perception these people want to have of God.
Teaching young women that they should be ashamed, guilty and think of their sensuality, sexuality and what they feel in their body is a sin is very very wrong and only leads to unhealthy and repressed views on sex. Women should make the choices that feel right to them with little to no pressure of society or religion.
And Girls... Ladies let it be very clear that if you have ever been a victim any kind sexual abuse or have moved sexually faster than you were comfortable for any reason you are in NO way broken, un pure, or damaged... No one takes your pure heart and soul from you.
Ladies you are Beautiful, Smart, Kind, Sensual, Feminine, and Pure!
Please allow yourself to think outside of what these defined girls are saying, If you agree I respect that... I post this comment to offer a different perspective and would not feel good with myself seeing all these videos and saying nothing... Specially when they are masked with “virtuosity and purity”
What do you think is good, right, and makes you feel Happy, Confident and Free... don’t allow yourself to be brainwashed and repressed. Expand your mind and spirit and then decide what is best for you!
My humble opinion... 🙂
Morgan reminds me of the two-faced girls in my old youth group.
I love the way you speak, both your voice and the words you use sound so nice
It’s funny, I watched their video yesterday (5 Things to know Before Your Wedding Night), and it was the first time I’d agreed with everything they said. And, I was impressed that Morgan mentioned lubrication- there was something about the openness that resonated with me, and I realized that openness is one of my favorite qualities in any individual.
Being open to talk about things, without fear, could open so many doors and conversations for people yearning to connect with each other.
I found you on Mr.Aethiest channel and girl, you are the best. I grew up in a pentecostal Christian Church and purity culture was so ingrained in my life I really used to believe that if I had sex before marriage I was ruined forever. fast forward to my adult life, I am no longer a Christian and I've had a lot of encounters with Christians who acted just like Paul and morgan. To see an awesome super kind person like yourself be so accepting of everyone and still love your God the way you do makes me have hope. Also congrats on your pregnancy! :) That baby has the best mom.
Morgan: "I know [God is Grey] claims to be walking with the Lord, but I would question that."
Hmmm...I think a good indication of whether or not someone is "walking with the Lord" is whether or not they display the "fruit of the Spirit" in how they relate to others. You know, the things Paul (the apostle Paul, not Paul from Paul and Morgan) lists in Galatians 5:22-23...
1. ἀγάπη (agapē), "love"
2. χαρὰ (chara, pronounced like "khara"), "joy"
3. εἰρήνη (eirēnē), "peace"
4. μακροθυμία (makrothumia), "patience"
5. χρηστότης (chrēstotēs), "kindness"
6. ἀγαθωσύνη (agathōsunē), "goodness"
7. πίστις (pistis), "faithfulness"
8. πραΰτης (praütēs), "gentleness"
9. ἐγκράτεια (engkrateia), "self-control"
I think Brenda embodies all of these really well. Especially gentleness and peace. I am impressed that she calls out the people on her own side for making presumptive and mean-spirited comments toward Paul and Morgan.
Thank you for debunking so many toxic Christian teachings for young and old Christians to see! I’m so tired of seeing Christianity spewing so much toxicity and hurt and people spending their lives believing they are worthless because of these teachings
that issue of being sexually assaulted while in purity culture is my biggest problem with it. when you tell a girl that her 'virginity' is everything, and that if she 'loses it' before marriage she is dirty and disgusting, is the most harmful when it comes to sexual assault. i have known many people who went through that extreme shame, when what they're going through with PTSD is already terrible. kill purity culture.
I just stumbled onto this video and would just like to say thanks for standing up for the truth, super important!
8:20 a Doctor who believes maturation is a sin?! What a world we live in...
The Bible DOES call for wives to submit to their husbands (Ephesians 5:22).
I love pregnant Brenda, she's so sassy
Even though I don’t believe in Christianity I love your content. You’re truly leading with love and humanity which is our shared religion.
Some man bun having pumpkin told me Grey is Bae so I decided to come check it out
I’ve never been more excited for a video
Grey is BAE - sent here from Mister Atheist's channel :) congrats on the baby btw
For years I've suffered due to the purity culture that was drilled into me since childhood. I didn't know how sex worked until I was 13 and straight up asked my mom. I was repeatedly raped by my ex from senior year of us and didn't even realize how toxic that relationship had been until my final year of college. I ended up getting HPV from it and thought God was punishing me for having sex. For years I struggled with having sex and it being painful because I was mentally trapped in purity culture. Thank you for speaking up about this mental abuse the church is perpetuating.
Morgan is so holier than thou and it's just an act to distance herself from her "sinful" past. Not that anything she did was immoral or wrong, but she's such a hypocrite. I KNOW that's what she's doing because that's a version of what I've been doing for the last few years in an effort to distance myself from the fallout after a traumatic experience. And she went through an abusive relationship, has tattoos, and has premarital sex. To me, that sounds like a completely different Morgan than her UA-cam persona.
Yes goddess finally. I like the sassy version. I've been waiting for it so long lol
Hello! Just wanted to say that I appreciate your approach to disagreement and discussion so very much. I’ve reached a different consensus than you on several different topics that you have addressed, but I enjoy watching your videos. Kindness- and not the counterfeit type- is always so evident in the way you talk. It seems to me as though you really have a grasp on 1 Corinthians 13. Without love, we are nothing. We can say the right things all day long, but they are only a cacophony of clanging cymbals without the accompaniment of love. Many hats tipped 💙
this comment deserves more upvotes
Thank you so much for making these videos! People like Paul and Morgan will continue to take the "holier than thou" approach and condescend without ever taking the time to listen or understand other perspectives. It is so important to dismantle purity culture! Brushing it under the rug and pretending it doesn't exist is so gross and wrong! Thank you for never backing down, your videos are awesome!
Paul and Morgan have me extremely concerned. The ideas they communicate and the way they communicate those ideas really remind me of how some cults started.
Morgan said she had sex before marriage too. She is not trying to shame anyone because she publically said that she had sex before marriage too and that it was a mistake
Morgan always looks, sounds, and acts drunk or high.
Yes on the maturity thing! I am the 4th oldest of 17. I'm 31 and I have LOTS of practice. Before I had kids had tons of people tell me "you cant give advice on parenting and kids till you have them. " I have helped raise children from the the time I was little. Yes I can give advice. Because I am more mature than most of the people my age and always have been.