Whoever is reading this. May Allah grant you a wonderful spouse who brings you soo much happiness and success in this life and the hereafter. Someone who is righteous and compliments you perfectly. Somebody who will be the coolness of your eyes - and may Allah grant you both the highest rank in Jannah. Ameen ya rabi (say Ameen)
This Dunya is exhausting people act like marriage is the end all be all . This Dunya is temporary and delusion . I’m a 44 almost 45 year old sister and never got married . I think it’s not in Allah plan for me to be married in this Dunya maybe my Allah has someone better for me like one of the companions in the Akirah 😊 Insha Allah
Marriage isn’t the end all be all but some people have done everything else, they’ve gotten the education, the job they have a good group of friends and they aren’t looking to replace that but naturally marriage is the next stage in life. It’s normal to want to get married. Instead of judging people for wanting it, it should be made easier for young people and advice should be given to them. I hope you find a righteous spouse
@@1923b-y1lI think she’s just coming from a place of exhaustion maybe. I may be wrong, it’s probably not her intention to come off as judgmental. And I agree with you, I think it’s part of human nature to desire marriage. However it shouldn’t be our main focus as we’ve been created to worship Allah. Think about it, some people can get married yet pass away. Now is marriage going to benefit them in their grave? Only Allah knows. The point is prioritize Allah’s rights over you, prioritize your relationship with Him, make sure not to lose focus on this dunya and if you find someone who’s on the same level as you then get married
@diarrandiaye3983 jazaki Allah khayran, your words really touched my heart. Sometimes I forget that this dunya is temporary may Allah guide us in the right path 🤲🩷
But at the same time we want to make sure our expectations are not generated from Hollywood, etc. I hear this alot from Muslim marriage counselors. Many sisters (more so) and brothers have this fairy tale illusion of marriage thus, when they get married they begin to see the reality and how it is more routine than anticipated. I would ask have they seen the marriage of their parents, grand parents, was that a fairy tale too? No. Next thing is that we have to realize the marriage is going to be somewhat different from others, thus, comparing it to the next couple will not be practical. You might have a child born with Down's Syndrome, or Autism, but see your neighbors having children without this issues or they cant have children due to some medical complications with the wife. We make marriage difficult trying to compare with others while the only one you can compare it with is the Prophet's marriage and try to match our marriage to his to improve it.
Sister, I like your analogy and would like to add my own. What do you do if it's freezing outside? What do you do if there's some kind of urgency in your search for a jacket? Will you still look for the perfect fit and risk going out without a jacket, with the possibility of getting horribly sick? Or will you settle for a jacket that fits you and keeps you warm, but is not perfect? I think it’s easy for you to talk about this now, as it looks like you’ve found your 'jacket' already. It’s like we’re meeting in front of the mall at sub-zero temperatures, while I have a t-shirt on, you with your comfy jacket, and you tell me not to worry and keep looking while I’m freezing to death. On top of that, many jackets seem to lie around on my road, but taking them would be like grabbing jackets that aren’t properly fitted, aren’t the right material, or might even hurt me in the long run, even though they seem to be warm for the moment. But if I’m freezing and can’t find the right jacket, I have to trust that Allah will provide in the right time. Maybe I need to be patient, cover up as best as I can in the meantime, and rely on Him to guide me. It's not easy, but sometimes, in the moment of feeling cold and desperate, we forget that there is wisdom in waiting. It’s about remembering that, even if I can't see the jacket now, Allah knows what's best for me, and when the right time comes, the perfect fit will appear. One that won’t just cover me for the moment, but will last and protect me for the long haul.
Well said, brother. Wallah, I feel you. Patience can be so challenging. I often find myself settling for a jacket that’s not my size out of rush, just because it feels so hard to find the right one. But as you said, all we can do is trust Allah’s timing, even though it’s difficult.
Well said! But I wanna also add to that, at the time of feeling could and not finding the right jacket, it would be best to not get depressed with the search and do our best to let it go and keep busy doing good stuff to keep warm and not freeze! One could survive a lifetime without the any jacket, cuz Allah SWT has a true believer’s back and will provide the warmth and protection as always as He SWT says: ومن يتق الله يجعل له مخرجا ويرزقه من حيث لايحتسب Sometimes, when it’s not the right time or even we aren’t ready yet to see the right one, we seem to not attract anyone because we needed to become the person we want to have in our lives!
Marriage is indeed a means of great benefit for the afterlife. It completes half of your deen (faith) and is itself a form of worship (ibadah). Even intimacy within marriage is a source of reward in Islam. Marriage also provides a strong shield against fitnah (temptation), and there are numerous sayings from the Sahaba (companions of the Prophet) and Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) emphasizing its importance. Of course, the Qur’an also highlights the significance of marriage. While I understand that marriage is not the ultimate goal, as our main purpose is to succeed in the afterlife and seek the mercy of Allah, marriage serves as a means to achieve that goal. It fulfills a natural human desire-to have a partner and raise children-and aligns with the fitrah (innate disposition) that Allah created within us. I end with a prayer: May Allah grant me and all other unmarried brothers and sisters righteous spouses. As the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said in a hadith: “The best blessing of this world is a righteous spouse.” Ya Rabb! 🤲
This exactly how i feel right now I’m now frustrated and miserable no more and it is so much more freeing thank you so much Lama💗 girlies trust me you are gonna be okay Allah SWT got us
What kind of fantastic therapy school did u go to? This is such a meaningful yet easy-to-understand perspective. So many girls get married to a wrong person because they are rushing.
Lmfao same, these videos actually only make me more and more and more depressed. Nobody will understand the pain of not having sex and intimate conversations and sweet talk at 28 years of age. It’s disgusting.
@@lo.fr.8092 sounds like you need hobbies or therapy, if you're that desperate for sex and intimacy, you're trying to fulfill an emptiness within yourself that intimacy won't fix, if you don't address that void, marriage won't change anything.
It's too much pressure for me i'm 25, 90% of my friends and girls my age where I live are married most of them with kids and most of the rest are engaged, i'm so sick if everyone asking me when am i gonna get married sometimes i don't wanna go out cause i can't take that pressure any more even my parents are sad because of that and pity me , i understand that i'm their eldest daughter and they want me to be happy and i'm trying to make them feel better i put myself under so much pressure and go puy stuff for marriage just to make them feel happy, what makes this worse is that I really wanna be a wife i wanna share all the love i have with a good person I can't wait to be a mom and Alhamdulallah i know Allah swt has plans for me and i accept that but the pressure is too much for me Alhamdulallah
Thanks I just feel very frustrated with the dating scene it’s easier if you are younger as our men prefer younger and beautiful even these ‘good men’. These men have so many choices and unfortunately they can easy reject the ‘good women’. I wish men were educated to find good Muslim women not just what pleases their eyes! There is something fundamentally wrong with the upbringing of men compared to women that’s why it’s harder for us to marry.
Everyone feels frustrated. The good men you are talking about have no shot whatsoever at marriage when they're young because muslim women are too selective or just look for an older man, or are just altogether just not interested by marriage. But they don't mind haram relationships and messing around. But there obviously always are good muslim men and good muslim women. I truly hope they can meet each other and get married so they can give each other a fulfilling relationship.
I think it’s complicated for good people in both camp sisters. Good men want good women, but those women are very difficult to find, and sadly a lot of people in the ummah nowadays are not virgins anymore and for a lot of men, it’s a red flag, I know that for sisters it can be too, but far less. Because for a man, it’s very complicated to accept to have to take care and take an oath to a woman that we will be involved 100% emotionally and FINANCIALLY to a woman that gave the most intimate thing she could give to other men for free before, it feels like we are taken for fools.
@@diarrandiaye3983 not the same thing, in a way, personally I am a 22 yo man who is still a virgin by choice even thought a lot of women wanted to do the thing with me (i am not saying this to brag, it’s to explain why it’s important to me in the following text), therefore I’d love to have a wife that too waited and had the strength to do so. I would not go for a divorcee as a first wife because of that, but also because I don’t know why she was divorced, is it because the husband was abusive and a bad man, or was it because she was a bad women who was a cheater, or she was unappreciative, materialist ect. But for men who have been previously married I don’t think it’s a problem. I also add the fact that if she lost her virginity in a marriage, it’s not the same, she waited for marriage, it proves she is a good woman with integrity, not the same as a woman who was jumping from men to men which shows instability, impossibility to pair bond and someone who doesn’t respect herself
@@rushialeema8321 also, how can we find spouses like the ones you defined, where do women like that spend their time ? If they are always in house there is nothing we can do since we don’t even know they exist. Are there at the mosque, the library ?
If I accept this shopping for jacket analogy , then the person that has a decent wardrobe already and can therefore casually shop around, this person would be someone in their early twenties. If you are above 30 and approaching 35, you can’t afford to be casual about this..time is against you. To summarize, stop chasing worldly gains and career and start looking for your mate early …very early in life.
I want to thank you for the amazing job you're doing. Your words are on point, mind blowing, and take you to a state of consciousness that normally it is not easy to achieve. May Allah Bless you ❤️
I saw one of the jacket and noticed now. Just like love at first sight.but it was really precious and expensive and i dont know someone else take that or not.. my wish is submited to allah and in sha allah if allah wish it will be there and ill get it.. hasbunallah wa ni'umal vakeel
@@mabrokomar5328 Don't lie people,those who you're saying that many good men, you would have changed any say many pretenders men are looking for caring muslim wife, the reason why i have said that,is that a big number of Muslim men they don't mean what they are saying,many are just players on people's daughters,i have more evidence on what am saying
Does the 'jacket' analogy work, if you already acknowledged you have a respectable wardrobe, most people are marrying for the first time and feel the pressure ,they are not simply upgrading their wardrobe
the problem of marriage is that women have unrealistic expectations and bad priorities... and they're not able to sacrifice some parts of their dreams, they want the whole package and they end up with nothing... instead of learning how to look for good priorities and be grateful to allah for what's good and be patient for the rest... I was married to a "muslim" woman, our situation was not perfect but we had our home, our car, our food, our clothes... and our marriage got destroyed by her dreams and her laziness... because I was the one who was supposed to realize her dreams... and her part was to criticize all she can... is that islam? I dont think so... but I know a lot of women are this way.... and my advice, if a woman is like that, i really advice you to change because if u have such bad morals, you're even a threat to the continuity of the muslim oumma and Hissab will be really complicated for you... Marriage is a duty, it's not a pleasure...
You generalized all women based on one bad experience, I can also say that the problem is men having multiple relationships out of marriage and wanting to settle with an untouched muslim girl
@@Qasssi it's not based on my one bad experience... it's based on my general experience and what I hear and see in society... now I know and I hope exceptions exist... and to those who are not exceptions I gave advice... because I repeat, if beliefs and behaviours (for example overmaterialism, lack of empathy, lack of patience, etc...) can cause big harm to the oumma, people should think a little bit about hissab day...
I m so sad and depressed I tried the app no good person coming nothing is working what I liked I didn’t get and my mind is still stuck I feel like my life is stuck to one point that is nothing happening 😢
Have you got anyone that can set you up? Recommendations of a serious person usually works good. Like someone has vouched for them Ie like Lama using her Husbands help, for her friends. These marriages are usually really successful with set ups
@@rushialeema8321 That too! But she has to work on the depressed and sad aspect of it, Lamaa said that if you take the means to get married and yet don't believe that your person is out there, Allah is not going to give to you because deep down, you believe that Allah is not capable to bring you that person.
What is considered putting yourself out there. How much is enough. Am I supposed to post my pics online. Stand outside. I’ve been to events and still nothing
Some people meet at Islamic events/charity fundraisers. Others at Uni. Others at work. Others out doing some hobby like hiking/gym/at the coffee shop or someone sets them up. Most halal way last one. It can be anywhere though. Depends on how okay you are with initiating conversations. Otherwise, ask people to help you in your looking. Ie neighbours/aunts/friends. People you trust/who know you well. It will happen❤❤
Like its the very fact that Allah has not written it for me to be married in 28 years of my life. Even though since I was a child the only thing I truly crave was to have a family, to have belonging, to have a special kind of love. I obviously accept fate. But wow. I am stunned. Truly stunned that I did not get the only thing that I ever wanted in this life. And I wanted it so that I can raise righteous children and to have someone that loves and obey Allah with me together. It’s not even entirely for selfish purposes. And still. I had to experience in this dunya to not be married. Like Im truly in awe.
You still can get married, you are 28 yrs old. t's not that you died. But yes, I can understand you as I am 31 yrs old and still not married. For me was not the main goal, but yes I want to find the true love. I wanted to give up
@@lo.fr.8092 I never said you are not pure enough or good enough this is shaytaan trying to make you sad and fill your thoughts with poverty. Didn’t Allah say “Satan threatens you with poverty and immortality while Allah promises bounty” 2:268” You have to get out of this mindset. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You will never get anywhere in life. You don’t even believe you will get married because shaytaan has whispered this to you for so long that you actually believe it. Please stop. You’re harming yourself more and more every day. Who cares about anyone else yes it’s difficult to see but Allah can give you more than what you see others having. Think of those suffering in Palestine and look at yourself and what you have. You have so many blessings you have shelter, safety, food whenever you want everything you can think of. Stop thinking you’re not good enough. Just ask Allah from his provisions that are so vast and never ending. Allah says in 2:187 I am near. I respond to the dua of the supplicant when he calls upon me so let them respond Keep making dua until you get what you want. And lastly complain to Allah. You know you’re allowed to do that? Keep telling Him how you feel what you want. You will never get anything from a human only Him.
@@butterflyyyy663This sounds a bit harsh but necessary: Make it very clear that is your life and your choice. If you get the feeling that the arrangement becomes enforced, that’s haram and they should know it. Your life, your choice (coming from a Muslim man).
Most importantly become a good muslim/muslimah ( pray your salaat, read quran and do good deeds, stay away from haraam things), Pray to Almighty Allah swt for a good spouse and look for it (Allah swt will make it easy for you to find one), be patient until you find one. In-sha Allah you will find one and stay happy with him/her.
What about, I need jacket to go to snowboarding because my city doesn't have snow in ages so I don't know when we will have snow again so I'm going to get jacket now else I will never have experience to go snowboarding ever. So cannot wait for next year winter
The hardest for me is finding a woman that will stick by me whilst my family learn to accept us, her family and our marriage as well as navigating me being Muslim. As a revert I have had some sisters say no because my family are not Muslim. I am the first in my family, not the last Insha’allah. Biggest challenge is simply being a revert, I find I have more options as I am a white revert and there are less of us so the demand is higher but once they realise the struggles with marrying a revert who has family that don’t understand Islam they run away.
I’m sorry your going through this brother, I think the right woman will accept you and not find it hard. I believe it’s hard nowadays finding a good Muslim spouse. All of us are struggling may Allah make it easy for you. Keep me in your prayers too ❤
Asalam’alaykum wa rahmatuAllahi wa barakatu sister! JazakAllah khayr thank you for this video. I have a question. Would you be able to do a video about how to know if you need to leave a relationship?
If you’re a woman who goes out with friends or is always on her phone while out, men may be less likely to approach you. If a man looks at you, try smiling so he knows you’re open to conversation.
Suggest another option for a woman in her 40s whose family were never able to bring home a potential man. Also been to several mosques who never reached back with potential spouses
@@Nina-farexactly sister, there nothing wrong with the app as long as you have good intentions and looking for a husband. I’m also going to sign up since my family can’t help in that department and I mostly work in a all female environment 😅
Salam Lama, I am a muslim man with a very confused state, I need your help, Please hear me out. I am a muslim man who is good at heart, atleast thats what people tell me. I am talking with a girl with potential of marraige, but I cannot comprehend about her past relationship. She had intimate relation with her ex. she is muslim too. I know girl perspective and man's perspective on this subject is very different. Man are very territorial and possesive about their wife and mother of children. Please guide me what should i do and think, those images are in my head. I donot want to be with someone with this thoughts but also I love her for sake of allah and donot know which step should i take
You should not marry her and i dont know why she even told you of her sin. Why would you „love“ anyone that is openly sharing their sins? You can change your heart and feelings by loving what Allah loves only.
Akhi So, if someone commits a sin like intimacy before marriage but repents sincerely, they can be completely forgiven and spiritually clean in Allah’s eyes. It’s also important for them to avoid exposing their past sins and to work on building a stronger relationship with Allah through good deeds and piety. O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.'" (Surah Az-Zumar 39:53) The one who repents from sin is like the one who has no sin. This is based on the following conditions for tawbah to be accepted: 1. Sincere Regret: The person must genuinely feel remorse and regret for their sin. 2. Cease the Sin: They must immediately stop engaging in the sinful act. 3. Resolve Not to Return: They must make a firm commitment to not return to the sin in the future. 4. Seek Forgiveness: They should seek forgiveness from Allah through prayers, du'as, and acts of worship. Salat istakhara for asking Allah's guidance in this matter ❤ khir Insha'Allah
Man you earn money 50 to thousand rupees per month.you will get the woman preferred by you. Earning money is important to get your preferred wife. Nothing else matters what matters is a good continuous source of income in indian context.
almost asked for nikah but she black eyed lol... just kidding.. last spouse was black eyed and children and her blocked me, children not crying for poppa... shame but their thing...
Whoever is reading this. May Allah grant you a wonderful spouse who brings you soo much happiness and success in this life and the hereafter. Someone who is righteous and compliments you perfectly. Somebody who will be the coolness of your eyes - and may Allah grant you both the highest rank in Jannah. Ameen ya rabi (say Ameen)
Aameen
Subhanallah! may Allah s.w.t bless you and us with a wonderful spouse
Ameeeeen you too!!!!!
Aamiin!
Ameen ya rabbal al amin you too 🤲❤️
This Dunya is exhausting people act like marriage is the end all be all . This Dunya is temporary and delusion . I’m a 44 almost 45 year old sister and never got married . I think it’s not in Allah plan for me to be married in this Dunya maybe my Allah has someone better for me like one of the companions in the Akirah 😊 Insha Allah
Marriage isn’t the end all be all but some people have done everything else, they’ve gotten the education, the job they have a good group of friends and they aren’t looking to replace that but naturally marriage is the next stage in life. It’s normal to want to get married. Instead of judging people for wanting it, it should be made easier for young people and advice should be given to them. I hope you find a righteous spouse
@@1923b-y1lI think she’s just coming from a place of exhaustion maybe. I may be wrong, it’s probably not her intention to come off as judgmental. And I agree with you, I think it’s part of human nature to desire marriage. However it shouldn’t be our main focus as we’ve been created to worship Allah. Think about it, some people can get married yet pass away. Now is marriage going to benefit them in their grave? Only Allah knows. The point is prioritize Allah’s rights over you, prioritize your relationship with Him, make sure not to lose focus on this dunya and if you find someone who’s on the same level as you then get married
@diarrandiaye3983 jazaki Allah khayran, your words really touched my heart. Sometimes I forget that this dunya is temporary may Allah guide us in the right path 🤲🩷
May Allah marry you to a companion of prophet Muhammad saw in Jannah
Il marry you in sha Allah
never would've thought the Forever21 shirts would serve as such an appropriate analogy...so eye-opening!!! barak Allah feeki
Thank you for the jacket analogy,it just made me realise how ridiculous RIDICULOUS my mentality was😂❤️
But at the same time we want to make sure our expectations are not generated from Hollywood, etc. I hear this alot from Muslim marriage counselors. Many sisters (more so) and brothers have this fairy tale illusion of marriage thus, when they get married they begin to see the reality and how it is more routine than anticipated. I would ask have they seen the marriage of their parents, grand parents, was that a fairy tale too? No. Next thing is that we have to realize the marriage is going to be somewhat different from others, thus, comparing it to the next couple will not be practical. You might have a child born with Down's Syndrome, or Autism, but see your neighbors having children without this issues or they cant have children due to some medical complications with the wife. We make marriage difficult trying to compare with others while the only one you can compare it with is the Prophet's marriage and try to match our marriage to his to improve it.
@ good point! What i meant is that i was desperate and operating from a unhealthy mindset (scarcity mindset).
Sister, I like your analogy and would like to add my own. What do you do if it's freezing outside? What do you do if there's some kind of urgency in your search for a jacket? Will you still look for the perfect fit and risk going out without a jacket, with the possibility of getting horribly sick? Or will you settle for a jacket that fits you and keeps you warm, but is not perfect? I think it’s easy for you to talk about this now, as it looks like you’ve found your 'jacket' already. It’s like we’re meeting in front of the mall at sub-zero temperatures, while I have a t-shirt on, you with your comfy jacket, and you tell me not to worry and keep looking while I’m freezing to death. On top of that, many jackets seem to lie around on my road, but taking them would be like grabbing jackets that aren’t properly fitted, aren’t the right material, or might even hurt me in the long run, even though they seem to be warm for the moment.
But if I’m freezing and can’t find the right jacket, I have to trust that Allah will provide in the right time. Maybe I need to be patient, cover up as best as I can in the meantime, and rely on Him to guide me. It's not easy, but sometimes, in the moment of feeling cold and desperate, we forget that there is wisdom in waiting. It’s about remembering that, even if I can't see the jacket now, Allah knows what's best for me, and when the right time comes, the perfect fit will appear. One that won’t just cover me for the moment, but will last and protect me for the long haul.
Well said, brother. Wallah, I feel you. Patience can be so challenging. I often find myself settling for a jacket that’s not my size out of rush, just because it feels so hard to find the right one. But as you said, all we can do is trust Allah’s timing, even though it’s difficult.
Well said! But I wanna also add to that, at the time of feeling could and not finding the right jacket, it would be best to not get depressed with the search and do our best to let it go and keep busy doing good stuff to keep warm and not freeze! One could survive a lifetime without the any jacket, cuz Allah SWT has a true believer’s back and will provide the warmth and protection as always as He SWT says:
ومن يتق الله يجعل له مخرجا ويرزقه من حيث لايحتسب
Sometimes, when it’s not the right time or even we aren’t ready yet to see the right one, we seem to not attract anyone because we needed to become the person we want to have in our lives!
Not every jacket will be right for you. Some will warm you temporarily but empty your bank account. Others may warm you clash with your outfit.
No wonder the brain consumes 25 percent of our total energy 😂
I love this analogy, Ma Sha Allah. Thank you so much for putting it here.
Marriage is indeed a means of great benefit for the afterlife. It completes half of your deen (faith) and is itself a form of worship (ibadah). Even intimacy within marriage is a source of reward in Islam.
Marriage also provides a strong shield against fitnah (temptation), and there are numerous sayings from the Sahaba (companions of the Prophet) and Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) emphasizing its importance. Of course, the Qur’an also highlights the significance of marriage.
While I understand that marriage is not the ultimate goal, as our main purpose is to succeed in the afterlife and seek the mercy of Allah, marriage serves as a means to achieve that goal. It fulfills a natural human desire-to have a partner and raise children-and aligns with the fitrah (innate disposition) that Allah created within us.
I end with a prayer: May Allah grant me and all other unmarried brothers and sisters righteous spouses. As the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said in a hadith: “The best blessing of this world is a righteous spouse.” Ya Rabb! 🤲
This exactly how i feel right now I’m now frustrated and miserable no more and it is so much more freeing thank you so much Lama💗 girlies trust me you are gonna be okay Allah SWT got us
What kind of fantastic therapy school did u go to? This is such a meaningful yet easy-to-understand perspective. So many girls get married to a wrong person because they are rushing.
crying my eyes out
Lmfao same, these videos actually only make me more and more and more depressed. Nobody will understand the pain of not having sex and intimate conversations and sweet talk at 28 years of age. It’s disgusting.
@@lo.fr.8092 sounds like you need hobbies or therapy, if you're that desperate for sex and intimacy, you're trying to fulfill an emptiness within yourself that intimacy won't fix, if you don't address that void, marriage won't change anything.
It's too much pressure for me i'm 25, 90% of my friends and girls my age where I live are married most of them with kids and most of the rest are engaged, i'm so sick if everyone asking me when am i gonna get married sometimes i don't wanna go out cause i can't take that pressure any more even my parents are sad because of that and pity me , i understand that i'm their eldest daughter and they want me to be happy and i'm trying to make them feel better i put myself under so much pressure and go puy stuff for marriage just to make them feel happy, what makes this worse is that I really wanna be a wife i wanna share all the love i have with a good person I can't wait to be a mom and Alhamdulallah i know Allah swt has plans for me and i accept that but the pressure is too much for me Alhamdulallah
I love how you've done your room and the artwork is beautiful mashAllah
I really love your examples 😅 it really shows the perspective
Thanks I just feel very frustrated with the dating scene it’s easier if you are younger as our men prefer younger and beautiful even these ‘good men’. These men have so many choices and unfortunately they can easy reject the ‘good women’. I wish men were educated to find good Muslim women not just what pleases their eyes! There is something fundamentally wrong with the upbringing of men compared to women that’s why it’s harder for us to marry.
Everyone feels frustrated. The good men you are talking about have no shot whatsoever at marriage when they're young because muslim women are too selective or just look for an older man, or are just altogether just not interested by marriage. But they don't mind haram relationships and messing around. But there obviously always are good muslim men and good muslim women. I truly hope they can meet each other and get married so they can give each other a fulfilling relationship.
I think it’s complicated for good people in both camp sisters. Good men want good women, but those women are very difficult to find, and sadly a lot of people in the ummah nowadays are not virgins anymore and for a lot of men, it’s a red flag, I know that for sisters it can be too, but far less. Because for a man, it’s very complicated to accept to have to take care and take an oath to a woman that we will be involved 100% emotionally and FINANCIALLY to a woman that gave the most intimate thing she could give to other men for free before, it feels like we are taken for fools.
@@Blackbeard1222What about divorcees?
@@diarrandiaye3983 not the same thing, in a way, personally I am a 22 yo man who is still a virgin by choice even thought a lot of women wanted to do the thing with me (i am not saying this to brag, it’s to explain why it’s important to me in the following text), therefore I’d love to have a wife that too waited and had the strength to do so. I would not go for a divorcee as a first wife because of that, but also because I don’t know why she was divorced, is it because the husband was abusive and a bad man, or was it because she was a bad women who was a cheater, or she was unappreciative, materialist ect. But for men who have been previously married I don’t think it’s a problem. I also add the fact that if she lost her virginity in a marriage, it’s not the same, she waited for marriage, it proves she is a good woman with integrity, not the same as a woman who was jumping from men to men which shows instability, impossibility to pair bond and someone who doesn’t respect herself
@@rushialeema8321 also, how can we find spouses like the ones you defined, where do women like that spend their time ? If they are always in house there is nothing we can do since we don’t even know they exist. Are there at the mosque, the library ?
If I accept this shopping for jacket analogy , then the person that has a decent wardrobe already and can therefore casually shop around, this person would be someone in their early twenties. If you are above 30 and approaching 35, you can’t afford to be casual about this..time is against you. To summarize, stop chasing worldly gains and career and start looking for your mate early …very early in life.
Timing is in the hands of Allah sis
And if you can't find him? You'll be regretful on the time you wasted.
I want to thank you for the amazing job you're doing. Your words are on point, mind blowing, and take you to a state of consciousness that normally it is not easy to achieve. May Allah Bless you ❤️
Make a video on how to approach and find malls to get to know potential people pls
I saw one of the jacket and noticed now. Just like love at first sight.but it was really precious and expensive and i dont know someone else take that or not.. my wish is submited to allah and in sha allah if allah wish it will be there and ill get it.. hasbunallah wa ni'umal vakeel
This is the best analysis 👌
There are many good men who are only looking for a modest and caring Muslim wife, just give them a chance to prove how worthy they are.
@@mabrokomar5328 many good men, talk about only yourself but you don't know them, they're not easy at all and they behave like non Muslims
@@mabrokomar5328 Don't lie people,those who you're saying that many good men, you would have changed any say many pretenders men are looking for caring muslim wife, the reason why i have said that,is that a big number of Muslim men they don't mean what they are saying,many are just players on people's daughters,i have more evidence on what am saying
@@mabrokomar5328 Allah is the only one who helps us to find the right person
Does the 'jacket' analogy work, if you already acknowledged you have a respectable wardrobe, most people are marrying for the first time and feel the pressure ,they are not simply upgrading their wardrobe
Efforts respect Patience, Silence.
Random and maybe unserious q, but was there an eyelash stuck in your right eye, how did you fight through the pain?
the problem of marriage is that women have unrealistic expectations and bad priorities... and they're not able to sacrifice some parts of their dreams, they want the whole package and they end up with nothing... instead of learning how to look for good priorities and be grateful to allah for what's good and be patient for the rest... I was married to a "muslim" woman, our situation was not perfect but we had our home, our car, our food, our clothes... and our marriage got destroyed by her dreams and her laziness... because I was the one who was supposed to realize her dreams... and her part was to criticize all she can... is that islam? I dont think so... but I know a lot of women are this way.... and my advice, if a woman is like that, i really advice you to change because if u have such bad morals, you're even a threat to the continuity of the muslim oumma and Hissab will be really complicated for you... Marriage is a duty, it's not a pleasure...
All women are not bad brother.
Good women still exists
You generalized all women based on one bad experience, I can also say that the problem is men having multiple relationships out of marriage and wanting to settle with an untouched muslim girl
@@Qasssi it's not based on my one bad experience... it's based on my general experience and what I hear and see in society... now I know and I hope exceptions exist... and to those who are not exceptions I gave advice... because I repeat, if beliefs and behaviours (for example overmaterialism, lack of empathy, lack of patience, etc...) can cause big harm to the oumma, people should think a little bit about hissab day...
I can say a point the people can wish . But the imagination might not same with reality.
I m so sad and depressed I tried the app no good person coming nothing is working what I liked I didn’t get and my mind is still stuck I feel like my life is stuck to one point that is nothing happening 😢
Did you watch all the sister’s videos? Because she’s really explaining how to get out of this emotional exhaustion
Have you got anyone that can set you up? Recommendations of a serious person usually works good. Like someone has vouched for them
Ie like Lama using her Husbands help, for her friends. These marriages are usually really successful with set ups
@@rushialeema8321 That too! But she has to work on the depressed and sad aspect of it, Lamaa said that if you take the means to get married and yet don't believe that your person is out there, Allah is not going to give to you because deep down, you believe that Allah is not capable to bring you that person.
Brother, you are a doctor and can’t find a wife?
Jazakallah khaira sister ,may Allah bless you❤
What is considered putting yourself out there. How much is enough. Am I supposed to post my pics online. Stand outside. I’ve been to events and still nothing
Lower your standard
Where are u from sis
Some people meet at Islamic events/charity fundraisers. Others at Uni. Others at work. Others out doing some hobby like hiking/gym/at the coffee shop or someone sets them up. Most halal way last one.
It can be anywhere though. Depends on how okay you are with initiating conversations. Otherwise, ask people to help you in your looking. Ie neighbours/aunts/friends. People you trust/who know you well. It will happen❤❤
@@omarmajdy8260 usa
@@rushialeema8321 aw this was kind
JazakAllah ❤
Like its the very fact that Allah has not written it for me to be married in 28 years of my life. Even though since I was a child the only thing I truly crave was to have a family, to have belonging, to have a special kind of love. I obviously accept fate. But wow. I am stunned. Truly stunned that I did not get the only thing that I ever wanted in this life. And I wanted it so that I can raise righteous children and to have someone that loves and obey Allah with me together. It’s not even entirely for selfish purposes. And still. I had to experience in this dunya to not be married. Like Im truly in awe.
You still can get married, you are 28 yrs old. t's not that you died. But yes, I can understand you as I am 31 yrs old and still not married. For me was not the main goal, but yes I want to find the true love. I wanted to give up
@ yes. But the point is, all this past time, is gone. I will never experience young love. That is over. And I have to cope with that somehow.
@@lo.fr.8092 It could be worse. You could be approaching 33 like me 😅
@@lo.fr.8092 I never said you are not pure enough or good enough this is shaytaan trying to make you sad and fill your thoughts with poverty. Didn’t Allah say “Satan threatens you with poverty and immortality while Allah promises bounty” 2:268”
You have to get out of this mindset. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You will never get anywhere in life. You don’t even believe you will get married because shaytaan has whispered this to you for so long that you actually believe it. Please stop. You’re harming yourself more and more every day. Who cares about anyone else yes it’s difficult to see but Allah can give you more than what you see others having. Think of those suffering in Palestine and look at yourself and what you have. You have so many blessings you have shelter, safety, food whenever you want everything you can think of. Stop thinking you’re not good enough. Just ask Allah from his provisions that are so vast and never ending.
Allah says in 2:187 I am near. I respond to the dua of the supplicant when he calls upon me so let them respond
Keep making dua until you get what you want. And lastly complain to Allah. You know you’re allowed to do that? Keep telling Him how you feel what you want. You will never get anything from a human only Him.
How to handle the rejection in the process??
Wdym? Like when you find the one and he rejects you or when you reject him?
@@Qasssi here I'm talking about arranged marriage rejection.
@@butterflyyyy663This sounds a bit harsh but necessary: Make it very clear that is your life and your choice. If you get the feeling that the arrangement becomes enforced, that’s haram and they should know it. Your life, your choice (coming from a Muslim man).
Most importantly become a good muslim/muslimah ( pray your salaat, read quran and do good deeds, stay away from haraam things), Pray to Almighty Allah swt for a good spouse and look for it (Allah swt will make it easy for you to find one), be patient until you find one. In-sha Allah you will find one and stay happy with him/her.
UK has high proportion of Pakistani Muslimah of unmarried category it not the same for men as they are either engaged or in a haram relationship
But what if the creator sends a jacket to ur home like on delivery?
well does the jacket fit right? you don't have to mold yourself into it
What about, I need jacket to go to snowboarding because my city doesn't have snow in ages so I don't know when we will have snow again so I'm going to get jacket now else I will never have experience to go snowboarding ever. So cannot wait for next year winter
The hardest for me is finding a woman that will stick by me whilst my family learn to accept us, her family and our marriage as well as navigating me being Muslim. As a revert I have had some sisters say no because my family are not Muslim. I am the first in my family, not the last Insha’allah. Biggest challenge is simply being a revert, I find I have more options as I am a white revert and there are less of us so the demand is higher but once they realise the struggles with marrying a revert who has family that don’t understand Islam they run away.
jazakallahu khair
I’m sorry your going through this brother, I think the right woman will accept you and not find it hard. I believe it’s hard nowadays finding a good Muslim spouse. All of us are struggling may Allah make it easy for you. Keep me in your prayers too ❤
U should have upload this video on july 😢😢😢
Do you just take female clients or alsso the male ones?
I just want them to come…. 😭
Asalam’alaykum wa rahmatuAllahi wa barakatu sister! JazakAllah khayr thank you for this video. I have a question. Would you be able to do a video about how to know if you need to leave a relationship?
If the negative is more than the positive then you shouldn't stay in a relationship cuz it will ultimately exhaust you n eventually destroy you
Sorry just to be clear how do I get to the mall? How do I actually start looking?
!!!
If you’re a woman who goes out with friends or is always on her phone while out, men may be less likely to approach you. If a man looks at you, try smiling so he knows you’re open to conversation.
You will attract once you are ready! So work on you to become the person you want and will attract that in Sha Allah!
The app are the most haram way to go about this. Most of the girls walis aren’t involved and guys end up using innocent girls.
Suggest another option for a woman in her 40s whose family were never able to bring home a potential man. Also been to several mosques who never reached back with potential spouses
@@Nina-farexactly sister, there nothing wrong with the app as long as you have good intentions and looking for a husband. I’m also going to sign up since my family can’t help in that department and I mostly work in a all female environment 😅
Salam Lama,
I am a muslim man with a very confused state, I need your help, Please hear me out.
I am a muslim man who is good at heart, atleast thats what people tell me. I am talking with a girl with potential of marraige, but I cannot comprehend about her past relationship. She had intimate relation with her ex. she is muslim too. I know girl perspective and man's perspective on this subject is very different. Man are very territorial and possesive about their wife and mother of children. Please guide me what should i do and think, those images are in my head.
I donot want to be with someone with this thoughts but also I love her for sake of allah and donot know which step should i take
You should not marry her and i dont know why she even told you of her sin. Why would you „love“ anyone that is openly sharing their sins? You can change your heart and feelings by loving what Allah loves only.
Akhi So, if someone commits a sin like intimacy before marriage but repents sincerely, they can be completely forgiven and spiritually clean in Allah’s eyes. It’s also important for them to avoid exposing their past sins and to work on building a stronger relationship with Allah through good deeds and piety.
O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.'"
(Surah Az-Zumar 39:53)
The one who repents from sin is like the one who has no sin.
This is based on the following conditions for tawbah to be accepted:
1. Sincere Regret: The person must genuinely feel remorse and regret for their sin.
2. Cease the Sin: They must immediately stop engaging in the sinful act.
3. Resolve Not to Return: They must make a firm commitment to not return to the sin in the future.
4. Seek Forgiveness: They should seek forgiveness from Allah through prayers, du'as, and acts of worship.
Salat istakhara for asking Allah's guidance in this matter ❤ khir Insha'Allah
Man you earn money 50 to thousand rupees per month.you will get the woman preferred by you.
Earning money is important to get your preferred wife.
Nothing else matters what matters is a good continuous source of income in indian context.
Exactly 💯💯💯💯❤
Are you married 👰 👰?
Is Shahid Bolsen your father?
Lol i see the resemblance but why do you think so?
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almost asked for nikah but she black eyed lol... just kidding.. last spouse was black eyed and children and her blocked me, children not crying for poppa... shame but their thing...
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