Hi Lama can you please make a video about parents pressure for marriage ? My mom told me today " i dont care about myself and my health i just want you to get married and start a family" i feel so defeated with that statement like she is living through me and she wont be happy until i get married
I feel like one way to avoid wasting time with someone who isn’t serious is to set boundaries and expectations about timeline in the very first meeting and if they fail to meet them, then you can let them go with no regrets
Wish you would’ve elaborated on examples more and been less vague. I think if you sit down and let yourself think it through and then write it down and challenge your thoughts, it would elevate the quality of your message tremendously. Your intuition is likely very good but I think that only got you half way there for this video. I’m sorry but to be completely honest this video gave half ass effort kind of vibes and that’s almost disrespectful to the audience. It is such an important subject and these life decisions and interactions mean a lot to people, especially when we’re just learning how to “shift” our whole frame of mind, so I hope you addend some of your approach to putting yourself in the audience’s perspective of how the message is received.
But there is a reason for mention being a hafiz or a 'scholar' in the context of getting to know someone... why? because these things formulate a part of ones identity. When you get to know someone, you get to know what things they identify with.
What if you ask the guy what are you looking for in your future partner and his simple answer is just a halal girl with no specification. I don't like this answer. Is this right? I would prefer he specifies what he likes because not any girl suits him.
Hi, so i have a question. I am just 19 and I would like to get married one day and I kinda asked somone if they would like to get to know for marriage which funnily took a lot of courage. I am stuck between wanting to and not wanting, like will i ever feel ready? Not like I am desperate but at the same time there is a want to have a partner
Please elaborate how you met your husband in the mosque. I would like to learn from the experience. Men and women are separated in the mosque so how is this possible???
I disagree I think paying attention to your gut feeling is one of the best ways you could assess if someone is good for you. Especially if youre a woman due to strong intuition. Things could seem perfect on paper but your gut feeling might pick up on something you just cant put your finger on. It might sound vague but its actually not once youre more in tune with yourself. Like Lama said if you clear it from the anxiety, fears, etc then you can have a more grounded sense of how others make you feel. And if thats difficult its possible to learn body awareness
@@_zaaphiel not really. Following whims and desires is more related to things like infatuation, butterflies, 'sparks', and attachment. Following your gut is about how we are born as intuitive. We can have an intuitive sense of how we subconsciously feel around others; i.e how your nervous system reacts. For instance, feeling at peace with someone. Feeling comfortable being yourself around someone, feeling comfortable complaining to them, knowing they wont dismiss your feelings, etc. You get the sense that you trust them because they are consistently honest, respectful, empathetic and kind to you across various contexts. And if they havent been these things, youll get the sense that something is 'off' and you dont trust them for some reason. You might not know what the reason is until later, but your body (nervous system) can always pick up on things. Obviously you might not be 100% correct about the person just through your gut, you'd need to assess the person logically, see how they react in certain situations, etc. You can think about if your gut has often been correct throughout your life eg choosing friends, coworkers, etc. Otherwise if not you can find ways to get more I'm tune with it
Didn’t find this video helpful. A lot of what you’re mentioning are not necessarily red flags, but compatibility / personality difference and preferences.
how can you tell if someone is just telling you what you want to hear (bc they're interested in you) vs someone being honest ?
you're my virtual therapist jazakallah khair for this sister ily
wish i had this video a year ago subhanAllah :,), barak Allah feeki for sharing and may we all be protected, ameen
Hi Lama can you please make a video about parents pressure for marriage ? My mom told me today " i dont care about myself and my health i just want you to get married and start a family" i feel so defeated with that statement like she is living through me and she wont be happy until i get married
They tell you they want to talk “ for months before coming to a conclusion”
I feel like one way to avoid wasting time with someone who isn’t serious is to set boundaries and expectations about timeline in the very first meeting and if they fail to meet them, then you can let them go with no regrets
I understand exactly what u mean . And i am converted and so glad To see a red flag video of a muslim perspective
Great video, learned a lot
Wish you would’ve elaborated on examples more and been less vague. I think if you sit down and let yourself think it through and then write it down and challenge your thoughts, it would elevate the quality of your message tremendously. Your intuition is likely very good but I think that only got you half way there for this video. I’m sorry but to be completely honest this video gave half ass effort kind of vibes and that’s almost disrespectful to the audience. It is such an important subject and these life decisions and interactions mean a lot to people, especially when we’re just learning how to “shift” our whole frame of mind, so I hope you addend some of your approach to putting yourself in the audience’s perspective of how the message is received.
Found this helpful. Thank you
But there is a reason for mention being a hafiz or a 'scholar' in the context of getting to know someone... why? because these things formulate a part of ones identity. When you get to know someone, you get to know what things they identify with.
What if you ask the guy what are you looking for in your future partner and his simple answer is just a halal girl with no specification. I don't like this answer. Is this right? I would prefer he specifies what he likes because not any girl suits him.
Then don't leave it hanging, ask him to specify his answer, as Lama said "you need to do your part"
probably ask more detail, if they're reluctantly to explain then drop it. These "generalized" answers are not reassuring in my opinion.
I Love this one
So true!
Please do more!
What if I'm looking for the red flags
Hi, so i have a question. I am just 19 and I would like to get married one day and I kinda asked somone if they would like to get to know for marriage which funnily took a lot of courage. I am stuck between wanting to and not wanting, like will i ever feel ready? Not like I am desperate but at the same time there is a want to have a partner
Dont rush and make the wrong decision. Get to know the person
Nice video Masha Allah
Please elaborate how you met your husband in the mosque. I would like to learn from the experience.
Men and women are separated in the mosque so how is this possible???
4:23 i see this soo much
Why on earth is "not feeling good" the criteria here? Vague and subjective emotions are like the worst criteria for major life decisions.
I disagree I think paying attention to your gut feeling is one of the best ways you could assess if someone is good for you. Especially if youre a woman due to strong intuition. Things could seem perfect on paper but your gut feeling might pick up on something you just cant put your finger on. It might sound vague but its actually not once youre more in tune with yourself. Like Lama said if you clear it from the anxiety, fears, etc then you can have a more grounded sense of how others make you feel. And if thats difficult its possible to learn body awareness
@ that's like literally just following your whims and desires.
@@_zaaphiel not really. Following whims and desires is more related to things like infatuation, butterflies, 'sparks', and attachment. Following your gut is about how we are born as intuitive. We can have an intuitive sense of how we subconsciously feel around others; i.e how your nervous system reacts. For instance, feeling at peace with someone. Feeling comfortable being yourself around someone, feeling comfortable complaining to them, knowing they wont dismiss your feelings, etc. You get the sense that you trust them because they are consistently honest, respectful, empathetic and kind to you across various contexts. And if they havent been these things, youll get the sense that something is 'off' and you dont trust them for some reason. You might not know what the reason is until later, but your body (nervous system) can always pick up on things. Obviously you might not be 100% correct about the person just through your gut, you'd need to assess the person logically, see how they react in certain situations, etc. You can think about if your gut has often been correct throughout your life eg choosing friends, coworkers, etc. Otherwise if not you can find ways to get more I'm tune with it
@@m21285 my gut tells me you're extremely wrong and delusional
@@_zaaphiel Okay.
Didn’t find this video helpful. A lot of what you’re mentioning are not necessarily red flags, but compatibility / personality difference and preferences.
Maybe not for you but i get where she is coming from . She talks about red flags in character
Me at the opposite really find it helpful coz really from m'y experience I was getting to understand that red flags really means what she explained