No shame in living with parents into adulthood (it’s expensive and rough out there), but the stepson doesn’t get to displace his stepsister. And it IS the business of OP, as it’s his house. OP did the right thing.
It is not shameful depending on the situation, sometimes you can't find a job in years, it was like that in 2008 for some jobs 2000 people send in applications. Even if you do have option but you can live at home, lets say parents house, why not you can save money and not pay some stranger rent. But it should be fair to everyone involved and if you can work or get into school it should be done regardless its a good thing not something bad.
Yeah. My older sister has a husband and a daughter (my niece), she could have lived with our parents for a year or so while working and _saved some money_ in lieu of paying the outrageous rents in the city. But nooo, she had to live in the hip city, in a hip neighborhood, in a hip overpriced apartment, ASAP. It would “cramp her style” to live with her parents, after all. She’s constantly struggling yet acts as if it’s everyone else’s fault.
@@denis3208 I would buy that part about "not finding work in 2008" if I didn't know that there were immigrants that found work every day by doing menial tasks. If you are physically able to work, you should. You can live with your parent if you are working or you are in school. IMO, it's shameful if you are staying with your parents and you don't.
So your GF wants you to pay half of her $60k student loans and her friends are calling you a gold digger because you are concerned about her spending habits compared to yours. I smell a rat.
Maybe it’s just because of how I was raised or it’s a personality trait but I’m very frugal with my money to the point that besides necessities I could go a good couple weeks without spending any real money (I live rural so gas for a vehicle is basically mandatory) anything I do spend on is either weekly scratch off tickets or something else that doesn’t really cost much like a slice of pizza from the gas station.
THIRD time seeing this. 1) I suggested before that if 18 is a legal adult there, the aunt could rent the basement separately. A heavy duty security door and locks be placed on the basement's inside entrance. She also needs to jack up the rent. 4 more guests. Her house. Her business. 2)Any investments he makes will be community property. How will he prove that it was only his money used?
story 1: i agree with the threat of kicking them out when the niece loses the basement, maybe saying that the stepson has to move out was a bit over the line i get that op isnt happy about the stepsons behaivour but he is part of brothers family and so he should make that decision
Story 1 Yes, your brother is as spineless as you thought Story 3 if you marry her you marry her debt if she spends that who she is she will continue to spend
i LOVE the strong show of force the family did when it comes to the new wife. She messed around going behind his back to bully and abuse her husbands daughter and found out. OP needs to do a walk thru so that he can hold the new stepfamily accountable for any damage. and put in writing that Neice is in the basement PERIOD. and that she goes NOWHERE regardless of any rumours or whatever the new wife things she'll fabricate. Make sure to bring a LAWYER and explain that they have NO RIGHTS and it is a month to month etc... That's the discussion to be had.
NTA 😊👌 you done what you feel like needed to do And you are damn right good for you Your house you rules you done the sopport your brother family and new family children
S2:Ahole but not for stating that the house is yours, but the way you did it. And while yes the house is yours if you have been living with him for 4 years there and are married to him but he feels like he can't do anything in your shared home (not house) without asking you I get why he felt that but both of you should have communicated better. Regardless congrats on the pregnancy
Oh man, that last story is just heartbreaking. If you ever see this, OP, I am so sorry for your loss. Hope you take that trip, mourn your son, and just hang in there; it doesn't get better, but you do learn to make room for the pain so it doesn't always feel like it's crushing your entire world.
I would have an immediate eviction issued to me if I just decided to have someone move in without landlord approval. I don't know why this step-monster thought that that fact didn't apply to her 😐🙄
For the last story, why does the ex think she's entitled to anything? She didn’t contribute to it and its OPs money. Always has been. She and her step son aren't entitled to anything. I think was OP is doing is actually pretty touching and I hope he had a good trip remembering his son.
I think it’s the phrasing of it. She sounded a bit rude tbh. I get it’s her house but you should be mindful of the words you use. He seemed confused as to why she wouldn’t refer to it as their home. I mean my fiancé owns his house but he always refers to it as our home. I know it’s his house and my name isn’t on the deed but it’s the thought that counts. I haven’t listened further in so I may be missing something 😅
Story 3: I think we are missing some stuff. He says he will be “happy to contribute to rent or mortgage or anything we do together if I can afford it.” Why wouldn’t he be able to afford contributing to rent when he has a job? He didn’t even say contribute 50/50 just a blank contribute. This sounds like he will happily have her pay for a majority or all of whatever lifestyle he has with her and that she might set the pace of a more luxurious lifestyle that he would accept but not contribute to. They need to have a real discussion about this because they need to be on the same page about what lifestyle they want and if he will be able to afford it. This is especially critical because lots of resentment may result from it. He already clearly looks down on her for not saving enough prior to graduate school. It sounds like at the time she was working she didn’t get into debt and allowed herself some trips and outings that were luxuries but after going back to school she tried to be more frugal. While I think it would be good for her to have saved for education, we don’t know if she had known that this was her plan for those years or if she was expecting the financials of school to be different and couldn’t plan for it. I also think the reasoning behind her asking him to help her pay off the debt may need further explaining of her thought process. If I was in that situation I’d probably be wanting to avoid paying the high loan interest and would express that the money that would go to paying interest accumulated over years at the bank could be saved and better used. Additionally, I would suggest having a written agreement that has her in one way or another helping him financially equivalent to what he would be doing to help her pay off the loans(this repayment to him would be after the loans are paid). This can be her adding to his separate savings, her paying for his rent, or generally any financial contributions/gifts that they agree are meant as payment for his help with the loan.
A lot people get prenups and some times the judges would dismiss it and the ex wife would still get 50% of the ex husband's wealth. The court system is against men most if the time. Either way. In this situation, the man should be a man and buy the house as all men should. We are the providers. Don't ever marry women richer then you. This is just 1 reason why. To all out there, be the provider she needs. It never works the other way around.
I don't know, I have two minds to this. It may be OP's house but OP's brother is paying rent for the house, so anything that happens in the house should not be OP's business (unless tenants are deliberately damaging the property.) It's the OP's brother's family so it should be the problem of the brother. If OP is concerned about his niece's space, he could've offered for her niece to live at his own place and let OP's brother deal with the rest of the issue. OP is dipping his finger into an issue he doesn't have business with. Just because he owns the house that his brother rents, doesn't mean he can intervene like he did. But I also understand OP's concern when it comes to the niece. As I mentioned, if he likes to help his niece, OP could have offered his house for the niece to live in until she's in university.
S2 , Op any property bought before marriage doesn't get included in the divorce settlement with your spouse and it looks like your spouse married you to gain access to your assets . Please consult with a lawyer and have divorce papers drawn up and serve your spouse at work , he'll need to move out of the marriage home .NTA
TERRIBLE BROTHER ! BEING FINE WITH SISTER BEING A. LOOSER. & COVERING. ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING ! BASICALLY ! BROTHER WANTS SISTER 2. LOOSE EVERYTHING 2. MAN THAT TAKES. TOTAL ADVANTAGE. OF ! HAVE SPENT ALL MONEY 💴. ON A BOY THAT GOAL. WAS 2. BE 100%. FINANCIALLY SUPPORTED !
I’m confused about the part in story 1 where it randomly said “My brother is white.” O… kay? What does that have to do with his inability to handle his wife? 😅 It seemed like either a typo or just the most random piece of information ever.
Story 2, while it is OK to make an agreement that what you bring into marriage is yours you shouldn't treat your spouse like a neighbor or tenant and be so cold. It doesn't matter if its a woman or man, if you live together and are family behave like that.
You already told your wife what you going to do with that money you're going to take it and spend it on beer in Belgium because you're going to grieve your son over there that's what you told your son you were going to do and now that he's dead that's what you're going to do besides you don't owe her stepson a damn dime, his father already set that President by saying he would never pay for anything extra for your kid well so being so you don't owe any money for her kid with that guy even though it's not blood related to her even so I wouldn't give her a damn dime I don't know how many people would not many so you go ahead and go to Belgium and enjoy your beer and I'm so sorry for the loss of your son no child should die before their parent
Story 1, op should have stayed hus ass out of it. Charging market price remt is a different issue. But op had no right sticking his nose where it don't belong.
Story 2 husband and you are both Ahole talk each other heart-to-heart ♥ tell hem why what reason you say it 😔 wife is too cruel like telling your husband you are replaceable
if shes so set on having 100% say on that property he should go buy his own property and make her sign a postnup saying she has no say in that property in the event of divorce and when she suggests anything about it, he should remind her its not hers to be giving advice about. See how long that marriage lasts. Id feel like crap too if i were him.
LADIES ! NEED A MAN THAT BAD 2. LIVE 100%. FREE ? HE SHOULD HAVE ALWAYS BEEN PAYING MARKET RENT ! PAYING A. LOT 2. HAVE A. MAN ! ACTUALLY PAYING EVERYTHING !
No shame in living with parents into adulthood (it’s expensive and rough out there), but the stepson doesn’t get to displace his stepsister. And it IS the business of OP, as it’s his house. OP did the right thing.
It is shameful if you are not working or in school
It is not shameful depending on the situation, sometimes you can't find a job in years, it was like that in 2008 for some jobs 2000 people send in applications. Even if you do have option but you can live at home, lets say parents house, why not you can save money and not pay some stranger rent. But it should be fair to everyone involved and if you can work or get into school it should be done regardless its a good thing not something bad.
Yeah. My older sister has a husband and a daughter (my niece), she could have lived with our parents for a year or so while working and _saved some money_ in lieu of paying the outrageous rents in the city.
But nooo, she had to live in the hip city, in a hip neighborhood, in a hip overpriced apartment, ASAP. It would “cramp her style” to live with her parents, after all. She’s constantly struggling yet acts as if it’s everyone else’s fault.
@@denis3208 I would buy that part about "not finding work in 2008" if I didn't know that there were immigrants that found work every day by doing menial tasks. If you are physically able to work, you should. You can live with your parent if you are working or you are in school. IMO, it's shameful if you are staying with your parents and you don't.
THAT MAN SHOULD DEFINITELY BE CHARGED. MARKET RENT ! MATTER FACT ! NEVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN ALLOWED AROUND HIS DAUGHTER !
So your GF wants you to pay half of her $60k student loans and her friends are calling you a gold digger because you are concerned about her spending habits compared to yours.
I smell a rat.
I have student loans but it’s way less than that and I still have some of it saved. How did she spend so much? Lavish lifestyle?
Maybe it’s just because of how I was raised or it’s a personality trait but I’m very frugal with my money to the point that besides necessities I could go a good couple weeks without spending any real money (I live rural so gas for a vehicle is basically mandatory) anything I do spend on is either weekly scratch off tickets or something else that doesn’t really cost much like a slice of pizza from the gas station.
Let's be honest... the reaction to story 2 would be a completely different conversation if it was the husband asking for advice.
THIRD time seeing this.
1) I suggested before that if 18 is a legal adult there, the aunt could rent the basement separately. A heavy duty security door and locks be placed on the basement's inside entrance. She also needs to jack up the rent. 4 more guests. Her house. Her business.
2)Any investments he makes will be community property. How will he prove that it was only his money used?
wow, the stepmom came in and tried to take over the home that's not hers, and the family she just joined on day 1
Story 1: If the brother is looking for his ⚾️⚾️ he should check his wife’s purse.
story 1: i agree with the threat of kicking them out when the niece loses the basement, maybe saying that the stepson has to move out was a bit over the line
i get that op isnt happy about the stepsons behaivour but he is part of brothers family and so he should make that decision
Story 1 Yes, your brother is as spineless as you thought
Story 3 if you marry her you marry her debt if she spends that who she is she will continue to spend
i LOVE the strong show of force the family did when it comes to the new wife. She messed around going behind his back to bully and abuse her husbands daughter and found out.
OP needs to do a walk thru so that he can hold the new stepfamily accountable for any damage. and put in writing that Neice is in the basement PERIOD. and that she goes NOWHERE regardless of any rumours or whatever the new wife things she'll fabricate. Make sure to bring a LAWYER and explain that they have NO RIGHTS and it is a month to month etc... That's the discussion to be had.
NTA 😊👌 you done what you feel like needed to do And you are damn right good for you
Your house you rules you done the sopport your brother family and new family children
story 2: rich people problems wtf
"It's a family matter, stay out of it" while this "matter" is going down in your house lol
S2:Ahole but not for stating that the house is yours, but the way you did it. And while yes the house is yours if you have been living with him for 4 years there and are married to him but he feels like he can't do anything in your shared home (not house) without asking you I get why he felt that but both of you should have communicated better. Regardless congrats on the pregnancy
Oh man, that last story is just heartbreaking. If you ever see this, OP, I am so sorry for your loss. Hope you take that trip, mourn your son, and just hang in there; it doesn't get better, but you do learn to make room for the pain so it doesn't always feel like it's crushing your entire world.
I would have an immediate eviction issued to me if I just decided to have someone move in without landlord approval. I don't know why this step-monster thought that that fact didn't apply to her 😐🙄
For the last story, why does the ex think she's entitled to anything? She didn’t contribute to it and its OPs money. Always has been. She and her step son aren't entitled to anything. I think was OP is doing is actually pretty touching and I hope he had a good trip remembering his son.
anyone that says story 2 OP should keep her house separate and story 3 OP "married her debt" are the worst hypocrites
BROTHER b&. STEP LEACH ! WONT MESS. UP. THE CHECKS 4. NIECE !
--- OP overstepped his boundaries in telling his brother to kick the stepson out.
GIRLFRIEND ENJOYED HER MONEY THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN GOING 2. DEPT
If you own something before marriage if buy a house before getting married it is the wife's house.
I think it’s the phrasing of it. She sounded a bit rude tbh. I get it’s her house but you should be mindful of the words you use. He seemed confused as to why she wouldn’t refer to it as their home. I mean my fiancé owns his house but he always refers to it as our home. I know it’s his house and my name isn’t on the deed but it’s the thought that counts. I haven’t listened further in so I may be missing something 😅
S1 - Huh. You don’t often see the story from the flying monkeys.
ADULT STEP SON SHOULDNT. BE ALLOWED 2. BE. IN HOUSE 🏡. WITH NIECE
True
Rentthe top to your brother and the basement to your niece.
REALLY ? ONLY ? $1200. HELL NAWL !
Story 3: I think we are missing some stuff. He says he will be “happy to contribute to rent or mortgage or anything we do together if I can afford it.” Why wouldn’t he be able to afford contributing to rent when he has a job? He didn’t even say contribute 50/50 just a blank contribute. This sounds like he will happily have her pay for a majority or all of whatever lifestyle he has with her and that she might set the pace of a more luxurious lifestyle that he would accept but not contribute to. They need to have a real discussion about this because they need to be on the same page about what lifestyle they want and if he will be able to afford it. This is especially critical because lots of resentment may result from it. He already clearly looks down on her for not saving enough prior to graduate school. It sounds like at the time she was working she didn’t get into debt and allowed herself some trips and outings that were luxuries but after going back to school she tried to be more frugal. While I think it would be good for her to have saved for education, we don’t know if she had known that this was her plan for those years or if she was expecting the financials of school to be different and couldn’t plan for it. I also think the reasoning behind her asking him to help her pay off the debt may need further explaining of her thought process. If I was in that situation I’d probably be wanting to avoid paying the high loan interest and would express that the money that would go to paying interest accumulated over years at the bank could be saved and better used. Additionally, I would suggest having a written agreement that has her in one way or another helping him financially equivalent to what he would be doing to help her pay off the loans(this repayment to him would be after the loans are paid). This can be her adding to his separate savings, her paying for his rent, or generally any financial contributions/gifts that they agree are meant as payment for his help with the loan.
#3. NTA!
You are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!!!
She IS responsible for her debt!!!
A lot people get prenups and some times the judges would dismiss it and the ex wife would still get 50% of the ex husband's wealth. The court system is against men most if the time. Either way. In this situation, the man should be a man and buy the house as all men should. We are the providers. Don't ever marry women richer then you. This is just 1 reason why. To all out there, be the provider she needs. It never works the other way around.
I have a student debt but I would never ask my partner to help me pay for it. My debt my obligation
OP1 should have severed the basement from the rest of the house and given the neice a lease.
You pool money after you get married, not before. Get a prenup too.
I don't know, I have two minds to this. It may be OP's house but OP's brother is paying rent for the house, so anything that happens in the house should not be OP's business (unless tenants are deliberately damaging the property.) It's the OP's brother's family so it should be the problem of the brother. If OP is concerned about his niece's space, he could've offered for her niece to live at his own place and let OP's brother deal with the rest of the issue. OP is dipping his finger into an issue he doesn't have business with. Just because he owns the house that his brother rents, doesn't mean he can intervene like he did. But I also understand OP's concern when it comes to the niece. As I mentioned, if he likes to help his niece, OP could have offered his house for the niece to live in until she's in university.
S2 , Op any property bought before marriage doesn't get included in the divorce settlement with your spouse and it looks like your spouse married you to gain access to your assets . Please consult with a lawyer and have divorce papers drawn up and serve your spouse at work , he'll need to move out of the marriage home .NTA
Why cant all the children share the basement? I mean I've seen some basements with more than 15 kids sharing is what's the difference
Story 1 NTA: Ops house, Ops rules.
Story 3: you are protecting yourself. Not the a hole
TERRIBLE BROTHER ! BEING FINE WITH SISTER BEING A. LOOSER. & COVERING. ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING ! BASICALLY ! BROTHER WANTS SISTER 2. LOOSE EVERYTHING 2. MAN THAT TAKES. TOTAL ADVANTAGE. OF ! HAVE SPENT ALL MONEY 💴. ON A BOY THAT GOAL. WAS 2. BE 100%. FINANCIALLY SUPPORTED !
Are you okay?
@@Anthony84739Blud had a crisis while writing this.
I’m confused about the part in story 1 where it randomly said “My brother is white.” O… kay? What does that have to do with his inability to handle his wife? 😅 It seemed like either a typo or just the most random piece of information ever.
Story 2, while it is OK to make an agreement that what you bring into marriage is yours you shouldn't treat your spouse like a neighbor or tenant and be so cold. It doesn't matter if its a woman or man, if you live together and are family behave like that.
You already told your wife what you going to do with that money you're going to take it and spend it on beer in Belgium because you're going to grieve your son over there that's what you told your son you were going to do and now that he's dead that's what you're going to do besides you don't owe her stepson a damn dime, his father already set that President by saying he would never pay for anything extra for your kid well so being so you don't owe any money for her kid with that guy even though it's not blood related to her even so I wouldn't give her a damn dime I don't know how many people would not many so you go ahead and go to Belgium and enjoy your beer and I'm so sorry for the loss of your son no child should die before their parent
4:35 update
Story 1, op should have stayed hus ass out of it. Charging market price remt is a different issue. But op had no right sticking his nose where it don't belong.
Story 2 husband and you are both Ahole talk each other heart-to-heart ♥ tell hem why what reason you say it 😔 wife is too cruel like telling your husband you are replaceable
if shes so set on having 100% say on that property he should go buy his own property and make her sign a postnup saying she has no say in that property in the event of divorce and when she suggests anything about it, he should remind her its not hers to be giving advice about. See how long that marriage lasts. Id feel like crap too if i were him.
second and i feel like he is not the jerk
LADIES ! NEED A MAN THAT BAD 2. LIVE 100%. FREE ? HE SHOULD HAVE ALWAYS BEEN PAYING MARKET RENT ! PAYING A. LOT 2. HAVE A. MAN ! ACTUALLY PAYING EVERYTHING !
First