I recently had my first child at 38. My family said I was doing the most with my requests, etc. Look, I read about black women and birthing statistics. Anyway, I advocated for myself and made sure to tell my partner what I wanted as well.... and medical team. And put it in writing. I can honestly say that my pregnancy, delivery, and postpartum experiences were amazing! I was heard, and had autonomy over my body. ❤❤ I implore y'all to advocate for yourselves!!
I’m 39 having my third and I feel it’s more important than ever to make my desires and requests clear. Would you mind sharing a few must haves/requirements from the staff during the labor and delivery etc?
Of course! Minimal staff in my room, no students, permission to do things, my triggers, explain things in laymen terms, transparency, delayed cord clamping, pain management. I'll post the video that helped me. For added color, I ended up having a csection.
I’m so glad and thankful you’re talking about this. I WILL NOT be having a baby in my twenties. Period. So hearing more women especially BLACK women discuss this journey is So important to me. It truly is. So thank you Jouelzy.
I am a medical professional, who had 2 high risk pregnancies. I want you to know that your feeling about "interventions" is spot on. AND the unnecessary medical interventions during pregnancy and labor and delivery are actually part of the problem with Black Maternal Mortality. Unnecessary inductions, unnecessary C-sections are a means of making more money and a convenience for the physician. This is the reason they start having these conversations with you early. It also designed to give you the impression that it is because of wanting to improve maternal health but outcomes drastically decline with unnecessary intervention.
The thing is that even after you have given birth you are still considered “maternity” until 6-8 weeks post-partum. So even if your nail breaks they will refer you to OBGYN. Because statistically you are “maternity” and there are legal implications for your care in that capacity. Just an FYI for new mothers. As black women the conversation is necessary. Thank you for sharing your story to your audience.
Girl that was beautifully shared! I am 46 and I gave birth to my one and done child at the age of 38 in Las Vegas, Nevada. I shared so many of the same feelings and experiences that you have had that I was almost crying when you were talking about the pain that you felt being induced and giving birth. My baby was born two days before the due date. I had an Ob appointment at 8 o’clock in the morning and I guess they told me I was having contractions and my baby wasn’t moving but I knew he was sleeping. They told me I had to go across the street to the hospital and get induced. I was so not ready. I did not want to give birth that day, and I knew it was going to be a long time before I got to eat, so I took myself to Jimmy John’s sandwich place and had me two eight inch sandwiches! I should have eaten three but I took my time checking myself into the hospital. What I can say about giving birth is that it was definitely a miracle: they shaved me, put a catheter in me, and they put the needle for the epidural in, but they never gave the drug to me. They were prepared to give me a C-section. I think I started having major contractions around 8 PM and then about 9:30 PM I screamed! I had this pain I never had before. The doctors were trying to give me time because I didn’t want a C-section and they were reluctant to do a C-section. Now I know that I was probably crowning and I just remember praying to God - I cannot have a C-section. I live alone pretty much I’m on the third floor with stairs. I don’t know how I will be able to function and and survive - and right after that, my baby was born at 10:10 PM! The nurse had never seen anything like that happen in 25+ years. The best way I can describe the pain is that it felt like the worst case of constipation ever and you’re on a roller coaster with no control. At certain times during the labor, it felt like you couldn’t push it out and you couldn’t push it back in. It was incredibly painful and I remember shaking uncontrollably afterwards and being super cold. But they gave me my baby so that we could have skin to skin contact. And even though I had a lactation specialist and I had read about breast-feeding, and went to classes, all that went out the window, but my baby knew how to latch on! I had a very healthy pregnancy and I think I was OK giving birth. I think I had high blood pressure from giving vaginal birth and no epidural. I was dissatisfied with my postpartum care but I was so grateful to have very little complications before, during, and after. Congratulations again on having a wonderful baby boy!
currently pregnant with my 3rd at 37. i’m hoping to have another by 41. God willing. honestly all my peps are having babies now and we are all the same age. it’s very comforting to all these women having safe pregnancies and labors
OMG!😮 Everybody is pratically 37+ having their first child. This is encouraging. I'm not married but hopefully will be soon and create a family of my own. That would be amazing... FYI: Jouelzy, you never cease to amaze me with your animated, deep vocab! If words and articulation was currency, you are a wealthy woman!!💐💐💐
I also had my son at 37. Giving birth to a whole human is absolutely the most transcendent activity I’ve ever performed. Bless up, sis and congratulations!❤❤❤
😂 Yo, what is wrong with people? This woman is sharing how her birthing experience went off the rails, and people are just like "well mine went so well" 😮💨 I am not planning to have children but I'm so happy to learn that even medical "help" can be misguided.
Girl. So many feelings. Our experiences are soooo similar. I wanted an unmedicated water birth... and was swiftly put on the pitocin--> epidural --> c section pipeline as soon as I got to the damn hospital. Congratulations on the little guy, motherhood looks good on you!
Girl, I had my first and only baby at 33 going on 34 and society had me feeling old. And I did and still do feel old and exhausted a lot of the times. But my naturally loving and natural maternal instincts kicked in and are still working 9 years into this parenting experience. My first reaction to the title of this video though was, "Hey, Jouelzy had a baby! That's cool." I've always liked and respected your vibe and your content so I;m happy for you and wish you more joy on this motherhood journey.
Lots of facts! I’ve had 4 c-sections and quite the medical journey. Being brown in Obstetrics makes things complicated. Lack of compassion & forceful decision making.
@@kimmiekimmxx2814 the pregnancy itself was pretty good, the problems came in when it was time to give birth. You develop a reasonable amount of scar tissue and other possible risks. It’s all about our individual uteruses lol yours may be healthier than mine was.
@@genesisjanae1375hoping this next birth is as beautiful and as painless as possible. The recovery for my last one was cake, but the surgeon was different than my first 3. This last surgeon was a woman and idk if that had anything to do with how much more delicate she was with me, but I had far less discomfort with healing.
I paid $3000 after insurance at the birthing center and I had an amazing life changing water birth experience . I also am in Florida and it’s popular down here. My doula was a black woman too and she went on to deliver my cousin as well
@@DrShaySmith I’m in south Florida. All the midwives were black at the birthing center and the owner was a hippie type of white woman. In my area the people have a little bit of money so for the most part they are pleasant but I’ve never been to north Florida. They’re pretty bad there.
I am saddened that not much has changed since I gave birth to my daughter. My daughter whose husband is Korean, will give birth in Korea. His parents who have been absolutely amazing from the beginning of their relationship, are gifting them their stay at a top notch birthing center. Even with many Koreans having anti-Black biases, Black women still get better prenatal care and a better birth experience there.
Speaking from a providers perspective this video is really helpful for understanding what areas women are wanting more from their pre/post natal care experiences. Thank you for your candor! Sending love to you and baby🩵.
Late term ultra sounds increases odds of planned inductions. For our 2nd pregnancy we dodged our ob because she deff was pushing for a csection even though we were having a textbook pregnancy.
Interesting re: late term ultrasounds. I was induced after a late term ultrasound after I had just had a sonogram because my fibroids were being monitored and my baby was fine. I felt the whole system was colluding to position me to have a C-section which I did.
I'll be 31 when I have my first baby in 6 months. My husband isn't Black, but I put everything I want in writing already and we've gone over it - he's been looking at things RE: Black women and medical care in the US (he's not American) without me asking him to so I appreciate that although not sure if we're having our baby here or where he's from yet. I'm lucky that my current OB/GYN is really kind; she says I could possibly develop preeclampsia and has been doing everything she can to try and keep that from happening. Honestly though, I think it doesn't matter the skin color of your doctor as long as they're knowledgeable, compassionate and understanding. My last GYN is Black and she couldn't care less about what was going on with me - I was bleeding during my period for 9 days before I was pregnant (not the first time it was irregular) I went in to see her, explained what was going on, and she didn't do blood work, not even an exam - she chalked it up to stress and just shoved birth control at me which I didn't bother picking up. Needless to say dropped her like a hot potato and my new OB/GYN first day I met her explained the same issues and immediately she scheduled me for a transvaginal ultrasound with a full set of blood work to see what was going on. I hope if we do end up moving that I can find someone comparable to her!
OMG! When you mentioned how your personal medical health seemed to have gone by the wayside when your care switched over to the OB-GYN I know what you mean!!!! I was considered a geriatric pregnancy (36). I was transitioning into the 3rd trimester when I caught a cold that turned into bronchitis to finally pneumonia! Those MFs (ON-GYN/hospital doctors/staff) were only concerned about my child’s condition! They wouldn’t even prescribe or suggest taking anything to help with me being sick. And my child was doing great but because my body was under so much distress with being sick it could be to become pre-eclampsia therefore I was admitted into the hospital. I developed gestational asthma but NO ONE even gave it a thought to evaluate me for asthma until past out at the hospital after having an attack. Chile… my birth/delivery journey was so horrible I refused to do that again - tubes tied! That whole experience made me even more feministic when it comes to a woman’s healthcare matters.
25 years later and I still remember my pictocin induced delivery like it was moments ago. I honestly feel that my lack of additional children is because of my experience. Congratulations on the healthy birth of your king. Cherish every moment because they grow fast.
That doula was trash n she wouldn't have gotten paid. When I was pregnant, I was the meanest person due to my hormones. She would've hated me bc I would've cursed her out so bad, she'd quit n find another profession. Also, here in Florida they tried to make me have a C-section but I refused. They kept trying to tell me that I signed paperwork n I told them it was under duress n I'd sue the shit out of them. I know my body n what it could do, so after almost two hours of pushing, I delivered. I was also induced n they are now saying that's not the best route to take. U are not lying about the contractions after Pitocin. They gave me the epidural as well n after I used that up, they wouldn't give me more. I had maybe an hour or two of relief where I nearly fell asleep, but then boom, the worse pain of my life. They said it was too late n so I labored with no meds. Then my doctor had to leave as I was in labor forever, so then a resident took over. That mfer was trash n he was the one trying to pressure me into a cesarean. He then proceeded to perform an episiotomy that was so botched, I still have the scars today. He cut from right below my clitoral hood to the perineum. I didn't know I could've sued him bc I nearly bled to death. My dad had to give me blood for my transfusion. I did get Dilaudid for the transfusion n the delivery of my placenta. U are right, if that's what they gave u, it was so good n an immediate pain reliever. I said the same thing, were I am addictive personality type for drugs, I would def be an opioid abuser. Anyway, it was horrible. My experience influenced my decision to go into nursing bc I wanted to work in L&D to be an advocate for my patients. I only had one, my daughter, after that experience, I said never again. The last part of the video describing how u feel about ur little man, that's how I felt with my daughter. She had complications from the cord n meconium inhalation, but she made everything that happened before go away. I tell everyone, the love u have for ur baby is like nothing else in this world. To look at their faces everyday as they grow, it's a beautiful thing. I'm so happy u have gotten to experience this n I can see the utter joy in ur face for ur baby. Congratulations momma!!
I'm 37 and my first baby is due at the end of September. I agree reading the statistics on negative outcomes for Black Moms is terrifying. I appreciate you sharing your story with us. Congrats on your son! 💕
omg my mom had me at 37! love seeing women who don’t adhere to society’s artificial timelines. any anxieties you may be having because of your age, forget them. your age will not ever matter to them or their development. just try to remember that there is a generational gap, and there will be miscommunications and misunderstandings because of that.
I moved from PA to NC 2 years ago. I was extremelyyyyyyyy disappointed with the healthcare and medical community and experience. I was shocked how bad and mediocre the hospitals were. I wonder what can be done about improving the healthcare industry down here. It really needs dramatic improvement and updated healthcare options.
Our experience were so similar and I am in Canada. I was pressured to induce as soon as I was 36 weeks due to the baby charting “small”. From there we had biweekly and eventually weekly ultrasounds with a non-stress every 3 days where baby was passing every time. Given that, I pushed back until I was 40 weeks but the conversation to induce was so strong. I did all the things towards the end to kick start labor including playing basketball the day before I went into labor, naturally. Thank God. I ended up at the hospital vs the birthing centre but we had to advocate for ourselves the entire time. I feel all they do is push the induction/C-section on black women even though it may not be necessary. I will never forget the pain and yes, my baby looks just like her daddy 😮💨
I’m happy you had a baby who’s healthy and you made it through cause giving birth is something different(I had two #boymom). Giving birth literally tests our body, it’s no joke. I can relate also I wanted a water birth for my first but ended up in a hospital being induced on Pitocin no epidural. Second baby (5years later) was two days late and I let him come on his own time and he was 2 days later than his due date.
I had my 1st child at 40 in 2020...it was an aweful experience! Because of placenta previa I delivered via c-section at 37 weeks...pre and post partum care was aweful...wanted a diula but could not get one because of pandemic...but my child is AMAZING...STRAP YOUR SEATBELT...being a boy-mom is WILD❤❤❤
I love hearing fellow black women birth stories. Motherhood is a trip and it continues. Yess I was cosigning so much of what youve said in this video. They "had" to put me on pitocin too. Natural birth in my really went at that point and I agreed to the highly uncomfortable epidural though I hate needles. My epidural didnt work and I couldnt handle a redo. So I just had to deal with the pain until I could magically push. I had mad hemorrhoids and they got worse during pushing, at that point once i felt her head with my fingers, I kinda went f' it time to get her out. Same didnt get the birth plan I wanted, but yes surreal and greaftul indeed 😊 love my baby. Anyways, Congratulations on ya little guy🎉
North Carolina is terrible for birth!! I thought it was just me, I’m 32 weeks now and your story with doulas and water birthing! NC is VERY behind!! Also Pitocin gives wayy worse contractions. They have been finding that once you get on it you’re most likely to take an epidural and then more likely to do a C section. I’m sorry about your experience I feel like it just shows just how much we go through during a normal pregnancy
This was so helpful! I have always said I did not want to have kids because the labor experience just looks so terrifying to me. After watching your video, I realize I just need to educate myself about the birth experience and different options ❤ thank you!
I pushed for 2 hours, but I do think it was because I didn’t know what I was doing. My midwife just kept saying “bear down” 🙄 Like ma’am what does that mean… this is my first rodeo
the commonality in the stories here from black mothers is so sad. i have no knowledge about nc medical or insurance laws but it’s crazy the extent the medical complex in this country period goes through to ensure they’re making the most money. did you know that the lungs are the last organ to develop in the baby and labor is triggered by a chemical they send to you saying their lungs are fully developed? inductions not only put unnecessary stress on two bodies unprepared for birth, it also correlates with the uptick of postpartum complications in mama and baby. labor is a natural body process and it is a shame that that truth is obscured for profit. just think about how much more expensive your bills become when they can tack those procedures on. i wish that you and other women had had the chance of having an informed and compassionate doula to advocate for the birth you deserve /and/ postpartum experience. this really just fuels me to get my doula certification and start changing lives where i can
around 30 mins in now and my god, what the fuck? truly truly truly wish you were better informed and cared for. so glad you and baby are here and healthy at the veryyy least.
My first I was pushed into interventions. My second I refused to have anything unnecessary and I was perfectly capable and fine to have a home-birth. My doula was amazing. My midwife was affirming. I’m so mad that Black women are immediately labeled as unable to naturally birth when the interventions are what causes so many issues. Thank you for speaking about your experience.
Sigh. I totally feel you on the emphasis on interventions and less concern for my personal issues. Sad that your doula wasn't an informed advocate. Our doula experience was great.
Pushing for an hr and a half is alot. Id have to disagree that pushing isnt innate. Your body will not allow the baby stay inside. Everyone being in the room pressuring you to do all these things is not natural.
I think it's hilarious that you favor sparkling water, the same thing happened to me when I was breast feeding my oldest daughter. Everything suddenly was just too sweet and I was adding sparkling water to everything. Your body knows what it needs and has the funniest ways of showing us! Enjoy this new journey sis ❤
I loved my doula experience 10 years ago with these two white women in the Charlotte area. They had a center but i discovered them after I had already started prepaying the hospital for delivery fees. I Labored at home and pushed at the hospital with no medication ❤ They were at my home for hours and with me at the hospital, taking pictures of precious moments...Last year we went with a younger black doula in the Raleigh area and I felt similar to you with there being a lack of professionalism and expertise. Ended up having an emergency c- section after some complications. Wasted money. I never was able to have a home/water birth due to centers already being booked around my due date.
I remember foregoing my last appointment the week I was due to give birth..I'd heard so many women complaining about being "fingered", induced and given worrisome feedback on baby. I suggest laboring at home as much as possible. The mucous plug coming out scared me, it was the beginning stages of 17-18 hour labor. An epidural was suggested to me one too many times which is quite annoying because I'd made it clear I didn't Want one, stand your ground folks and have your partner, or loved one around for massages and support
So I am 33- had my first baby in March 2022. Why did you just describe to the T the experience I had having my son? I ended up having an induction and c section. I was so out of it and disappointed. I really hope when I decide to have another child, I am more prepared and aware of things. I have been so grateful to have breastfed him for almost 16 months. I love my son so much and he is perfect and healthy! That’s makes up for the trauma ❤
I wish we could have more discussion around this topic because as someone who is pursuing a degree as an advanced practice nurse I would really like to talk about ways to handle these topics that are beneficial for the patients
Wow this is almost my exact same birth story. I had a home birth scheduled and went past 42 weeks and had to transfer from the midwife to the hospital. I’m also in NC. I did ALL the things even castor oil nothing worked. I was 42+ and never dilated past 2 ended up in emergency C-section. Turns out baby girls cord was too short. She was never coming out vaginally.
Hey, happy that you shared your experience. Sad that you had an experience different than what you wanted. Years ago, as a social worker, I realized that I needed to choose my team carefully and before any incidents. My OB is the best, but I did a lot of research and interviewed her first. I found that it is important to me to ensure goodness of fit with the doctors before I sign on. So I either go to specialists based on her recommendation or my research. Sending you virtual hugs. Cheers to your parenting and breastfeeding journey.
Omg I throw up as well during periods if I don't take medication. I'm already terrified of pregnancy & This pregnancy story is wilddddd. I'm so happy you got through it all, you are strong sister omg. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I know you're a private person and I totally respect the decision you made to share this, which I know came with intentionally. The info you shared was very helpful for me and gave me some things to consider, become informed on, and advocate for when the time comes. I'm so happy you're happy with your new family 💕 Much love to you all
Thank you for sharing, I’ve been watching you since about 2010. I threw up too from the pitocin and pain as well and once I thew up I was like pass that epidural. I got the epidural and it didn’t work for me either I kept telling them to give me more. I pooped during the delivery as well all I felt was like I have to poop I did not feel my baby girl coming through as well. Through it all I was blessed to deliver a healthy babygirl and now 16 months postpartum I would not trade it all!
This is my exact experience. I attempt to advocate for myself but they treat me like I have no clue whats going on. I am standing strong in a home birth. I dont know exactly how to advocate for black mother's on a larger scale.
I appreciate you sharing this experience despite all of the challenges and disappointments you went through. I deeply admire you as a person and creator and I was so eager to learn about your stepping into this new role of motherhood, which I also hope to take on one day. Congratulations, Jouelzy You did that!!
My first pregnancy at 32 was high risks due to being overweight, and my family medical history. During that pregnancy, I never had GD or pre-e (thank the lord). I did have a C-section due to her being being breech. For my currently pregnancy at 34 it has been hard to deal with. I am thankful for all of the caution, testing and etc… but it’s so overwhelming because I’m constantly being referred somewhere for testing and its making me so afraid. I’m trying my best to stay positive and praying vs. really enjoying this second pregnancy.
I had a terrible birthing experience with my 1st child also and thought I was done with having kids! But God blessed me with another child and the experience was much better!
Oh where do I start! This conversation is spot on! I’m 39, a little over weight, and 31 weeks pregnant. I have passed all my tests. I’m pretty healthy. And haven’t gained much weight. The only complications that I’m having is placenta previa. But, because of my age and weight I have a lot of interventions. Thankfully, my MFM doctor is a dope black woman and very aware of the disparities. My Ob is hopeful that I will have a vaginal birth. Your experience is helpful in that I know what to be cautious of as I get closer to birthing.
This story had so many twists and turns but Im happy you and the little one are beautiful and blessed rn. If/when there's a baby number two, I hope you get many more things you want.
Your story is so beautiful and made me reminisce thinking about my own labor story about 11 years ago. I definitely remember being told that it’s best we induce and I only got to push for a short while before they told me we had to do an emergency C section because his heart rate was lowering. I am just so thankful it ended in him being here and being healthy 🙏🏽. Even though they turn 10 and turn pure evil 😩😩😩
Wow. It's as if you're telling my story of when I gave birth to my son in Charlotte at 35 a few years ago. Achieving home birth was impossible and I ended up having a c-section. I'm so, so sorry about your birthing experience, but also want to say congratulations for delivering a healthy baby and good luck with the 4th trimester. It is a beautiful beast of an experience.
I’m sorry you felt pushed to have interventions. This is why GOOD doulas and patient care advocates are so important. I know this isn’t possible for some people, especially with the shortage of ob/gyns but I will “fire” any doctor that gives me the wrong impression. Our American healthcare system is set up like a business and sees patients as customers. As a paying customer, I have the freedom to take my business elsewhere. I’ve had doctors make unsettling comments and that was the last time they ever saw me. Hearing your experience further confirms my reasons for pursuing medicine Edit: I continued watching and you’re not the first person to talk about improper care from midwives, their training isn’t comprehensive enough (in my opinion) to be the sole provider for a pregnant woman. I also hate how they left you uninformed….I feel like I have it lucky only because I have a medical background and so does my mom. So we know what questions to ask. It’s the job of providers to explain these things well in order to preserve patient autonomy. Nonetheless I’m so grateful you had a healthy delivery
Thank you really for sharing. At 34 hoping to be blessed to experience childbirth one day, it was very educational and may help to drive a conversation or lend points in case I am in a similar situation. Blessings.
Thank you so much for sharing your labor and delivery experience with us. It was very descriptive and extremely informative. I’m currently TTC and as I black woman over 30, I’m trying to do my due diligence by educating myself so when it’s time I can advocate for me. It’s Crazy how even with a birthing plan, they try to rush us through the system. ❤Much love you and baby
Thank you for sharing! I'm happy for you.😊 What you said about the worries and fears around being a black woman in the medical industry (and other contexts too)-- worrying even more when nothing is going wrong--resonated with me. I'll probably be in my 40s for this experience, so it's always educational to hear stories like this. What a beautiful journey you have been on over the many years. Thanks for sharing it with us.
Thank you for sharing Jouelzy. I’m in my early thirties so planning on having a baby and hearing your experience has always helped me to brace myself(from when I was teenager until now). So thank you.
As a doula, I love listening to folks expectations. It's not off-putting to me. When I meet with a client, I am sure to ask what they know about doulas, what are your expectations, and I tell them ideally how the day of will go. Obviously things change, but I want them to know what to expect from me. Especially in early labor, when things can last for DAYS!! I don't want to them to expect that I will come the moment they have the first contraction, because I can't be there for 3 days on end. But I can come when you have a regular contraction pattern, and be available in early labor via FaceTime, text, calls, or even an in person visit for moral support. I also frame it as "When things are REALLY INTENSE, you're going to want the support of a fresh doula. Whereas in early labor where you're able to sleep through it, we don't want to spend precious time just looking at each other, when we both could be resting for the active phase."
Next time, go with WHATEVER DOULA resonates with you, whether WHITE, PURPLE or ORANGE! Do not go with someone JUST BECAUSE they're black (again, I'm assuming that they were both black). I'm so annoyed that you had such an awful experience.
Your labor and delivery story similar to mine. I had my first child at 30, during the pandemic and I definitely wasn’t mentally prepared. I did an elective induction at almost 41 weeks (because I was tired and anxious) and whew!! There wasn’t any hypnobirthing that can help you through Pitocin. Once I made it to 8 cm I was begging for an epidural so I can sleep because the pitocin had me feeling like I was going through an exorcism. Lol. Glad that you and your little one are healthy. Congratulations on being a mother! Thanks for sharing your experience.
I'm sorry. I'm NOT paying a doula to have her CHILD come with her at MY appointment. NOPE! Would a DOCTOR, NURSE, CARPENTER, ARCHITECT, PLUMBER bring their CHILD while they SERVICE you? I think not. And I'm guessing the doulas were black? And had you not hired fellow sistas, people would have been ON you, right? Smh. This isn't to say that people of other races wouldn't be unprofessional but come on! I'm annoyed and I'm not EVEN pregnant. I don't EVEN have kids.
What you described about the doulas sounds like people who figured "hey, here's a quick way to make some money. I do a short course, sit this, get licensed, and BOOM! $". Sickening.
I was 38 when I had my daughter . Thankfully a great ob/gyn and despite me having all the risk factors being black overweight in advance maternal age I had a great pregnancy and delivery thankfully I filled heard they didn't pressure me into having no C-section they didn't give me no therapies that I didn't need like the game has changed in the last 7 years.
Jouelzy my heart goes out to you regarding your birth experience. I think you were conned regarding your doula. Your state is documented as one of the worst states for natural child birth. I'm so sorry. What you experienced with pitocin is called rolling contractions. Basically with natural contractions they start and stop and you have time in between perhaps two minutes to recover. With rolling contractions you have one contraction and your body goes into the other without any break. THE WORST. Also when you have an unmedicated birth you feel the difference between contractions. The contractions you experience when your cervix is opening feel very different from the contractions when its time to push. But with an epidural you won't feel it and our default is to push as if you're having a bm but it's not the same. Im glad that at the end of your labor you can enjoy your blessing. If their are additional children in your future I hope you get the birthing experience you desire. Thanks for sharing your birthing story.
Wow, thank you for sharing. Your experience sounds incredibly frustrating! I am a doctor who originally wanted to be an OBGYN until I saw first hand why the Black maternal mortality rate is high and didn't want to be a contributor. Hearing your perspective as a patient makes it even harder to digest the state of our medical system. Also as a fellow North Carolinian I am appalled at the lack of options for a water birth! Midwifery being outlawed was the worst thing for Black childbirth, so much wisdom lost. Now that modern day midwifery is heavily regulated and is within the system of capitalism, I'm sure it looks nothing like it did before. Grateful you had a happy ending, but definitely giving me more to think about regarding solutions for Black maternal mortality, and morbidity! We deserve better
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I recently had my first child at 38. My family said I was doing the most with my requests, etc. Look, I read about black women and birthing statistics. Anyway, I advocated for myself and made sure to tell my partner what I wanted as well.... and medical team. And put it in writing. I can honestly say that my pregnancy, delivery, and postpartum experiences were amazing! I was heard, and had autonomy over my body. ❤❤ I implore y'all to advocate for yourselves!!
I’m 39 having my third and I feel it’s more important than ever to make my desires and requests clear. Would you mind sharing a few must haves/requirements from the staff during the labor and delivery etc?
Of course! Minimal staff in my room, no students, permission to do things, my triggers, explain things in laymen terms, transparency, delayed cord clamping, pain management. I'll post the video that helped me. For added color, I ended up having a csection.
@@ProfessionalDiary ua-cam.com/video/ikfNcR1LvKA/v-deo.html
I’m so glad and thankful you’re talking about this. I WILL NOT be having a baby in my twenties. Period. So hearing more women especially BLACK women discuss this journey is
So important to me. It truly is. So thank you Jouelzy.
Agreed
I am a medical professional, who had 2 high risk pregnancies. I want you to know that your feeling about "interventions" is spot on. AND the unnecessary medical interventions during pregnancy and labor and delivery are actually part of the problem with Black Maternal Mortality. Unnecessary inductions, unnecessary C-sections are a means of making more money and a convenience for the physician. This is the reason they start having these conversations with you early. It also designed to give you the impression that it is because of wanting to improve maternal health but outcomes drastically decline with unnecessary intervention.
Amen! Thank you for sharing this much needed information! 👍🏾👏🏾👏🏾🙏🏾
The thing is that even after you have given birth you are still considered “maternity” until 6-8 weeks post-partum. So even if your nail breaks they will refer you to OBGYN. Because statistically you are “maternity” and there are legal implications for your care in that capacity. Just an FYI for new mothers. As black women the conversation is necessary. Thank you for sharing your story to your audience.
Girl that was beautifully shared! I am 46 and I gave birth to my one and done child at the age of 38 in Las Vegas, Nevada. I shared so many of the same feelings and experiences that you have had that I was almost crying when you were talking about the pain that you felt being induced and giving birth. My baby was born two days before the due date. I had an Ob appointment at 8 o’clock in the morning and I guess they told me I was having contractions and my baby wasn’t moving but I knew he was sleeping. They told me I had to go across the street to the hospital and get induced. I was so not ready. I did not want to give birth that day, and I knew it was going to be a long time before I got to eat, so I took myself to Jimmy John’s sandwich place and had me two eight inch sandwiches! I should have eaten three but I took my time checking myself into the hospital.
What I can say about giving birth is that it was definitely a miracle: they shaved me, put a catheter in me, and they put the needle for the epidural in, but they never gave the drug to me. They were prepared to give me a C-section. I think I started having major contractions around 8 PM and then about 9:30 PM I screamed! I had this pain I never had before. The doctors were trying to give me time because I didn’t want a C-section and they were reluctant to do a C-section. Now I know that I was probably crowning and I just remember praying to God - I cannot have a C-section. I live alone pretty much I’m on the third floor with stairs. I don’t know how I will be able to function and and survive - and right after that, my baby was born at 10:10 PM! The nurse had never seen anything like that happen in 25+ years. The best way I can describe the pain is that it felt like the worst case of constipation ever and you’re on a roller coaster with no control. At certain times during the labor, it felt like you couldn’t push it out and you couldn’t push it back in. It was incredibly painful and I remember shaking uncontrollably afterwards and being super cold. But they gave me my baby so that we could have skin to skin contact. And even though I had a lactation specialist and I had read about breast-feeding, and went to classes, all that went out the window, but my baby knew how to latch on! I had a very healthy pregnancy and I think I was OK giving birth. I think I had high blood pressure from giving vaginal birth and no epidural. I was dissatisfied with my postpartum care but I was so grateful to have very little complications before, during, and after.
Congratulations again on having a wonderful baby boy!
Girl was it the Jimmy johns on Rancho and Charleston? Lol.. you must of been at umc? Congrats and thank you for sharing your beautiful story ❤
@@angelofmery21 Yes, it was! 😉
currently pregnant with my 3rd at 37. i’m hoping to have another by 41. God willing. honestly all my peps are having babies now and we are all the same age. it’s very comforting to all these women having safe pregnancies and labors
OMG!😮 Everybody is pratically 37+ having their first child. This is encouraging. I'm not married but hopefully will be soon and create a family of my own. That would be amazing...
FYI: Jouelzy, you never cease to amaze me with your animated, deep vocab! If words and articulation was currency, you are a wealthy woman!!💐💐💐
Not everyone at all but some people
Before you call it encouraging, joulezy’s baby is not healthy and she’s not being transparent about it, but she’s mentioned it on IG.
I also had my son at 37. Giving birth to a whole human is absolutely the most transcendent activity I’ve ever performed. Bless up, sis and congratulations!❤❤❤
😂 Yo, what is wrong with people? This woman is sharing how her birthing experience went off the rails, and people are just like "well mine went so well" 😮💨 I am not planning to have children but I'm so happy to learn that even medical "help" can be misguided.
Girl. So many feelings. Our experiences are soooo similar. I wanted an unmedicated water birth... and was swiftly put on the pitocin--> epidural --> c section pipeline as soon as I got to the damn hospital. Congratulations on the little guy, motherhood looks good on you!
This was me as well. Like it makes me sad sometimes that I didn’t get the birth I wanted and I’m not having another one. But thankful for my lil man.
Girl, I had my first and only baby at 33 going on 34 and society had me feeling old. And I did and still do feel old and exhausted a lot of the times. But my naturally loving and natural maternal instincts kicked in and are still working 9 years into this parenting experience.
My first reaction to the title of this video though was, "Hey, Jouelzy had a baby! That's cool." I've always liked and respected your vibe and your content so I;m happy for you and wish you more joy on this motherhood journey.
Lots of facts! I’ve had 4 c-sections and quite the medical journey. Being brown in Obstetrics makes things complicated. Lack of compassion & forceful decision making.
How did your 4th go. I've had three. I want one more. 😂😂😂
@@kimmiekimmxx2814 the pregnancy itself was pretty good, the problems came in when it was time to give birth. You develop a reasonable amount of scar tissue and other possible risks. It’s all about our individual uteruses lol yours may be healthier than mine was.
I’m going to have my 4th c section in April.. I’m terrified, the last c section hurt like hell.
@@genesisjanae1375hoping this next birth is as beautiful and as painless as possible. The recovery for my last one was cake, but the surgeon was different than my first 3. This last surgeon was a woman and idk if that had anything to do with how much more delicate she was with me, but I had far less discomfort with healing.
I paid $3000 after insurance at the birthing center and I had an amazing life changing water birth experience . I also am in Florida and it’s popular down here. My doula was a black woman too and she went on to deliver my cousin as well
What city in Florida? I'm in Cape Coral/Trump County and don't feel like I'd get the best care here.
@@DrShaySmith I’m in south Florida. All the midwives were black at the birthing center and the owner was a hippie type of white woman. In my area the people have a little bit of money so for the most part they are pleasant but I’ve never been to north Florida. They’re pretty bad there.
@@DrShaySmith broward county
@deneshiaash876 I'll have to look into that. I used to live in Margate. I'm willing to travel for good healthcare.
I am saddened that not much has changed since I gave birth to my daughter. My daughter whose husband is Korean, will give birth in Korea. His parents who have been absolutely amazing from the beginning of their relationship, are gifting them their stay at a top notch birthing center. Even with many Koreans having anti-Black biases, Black women still get better prenatal care and a better birth experience there.
Speaking from a providers perspective this video is really helpful for understanding what areas women are wanting more from their pre/post natal care experiences. Thank you for your candor! Sending love to you and baby🩵.
Late term ultra sounds increases odds of planned inductions. For our 2nd pregnancy we dodged our ob because she deff was pushing for a csection even though we were having a textbook pregnancy.
Interesting re: late term ultrasounds. I was induced after a late term ultrasound after I had just had a sonogram because my fibroids were being monitored and my baby was fine. I felt the whole system was colluding to position me to have a C-section which I did.
I'll be 31 when I have my first baby in 6 months. My husband isn't Black, but I put everything I want in writing already and we've gone over it - he's been looking at things RE: Black women and medical care in the US (he's not American) without me asking him to so I appreciate that although not sure if we're having our baby here or where he's from yet. I'm lucky that my current OB/GYN is really kind; she says I could possibly develop preeclampsia and has been doing everything she can to try and keep that from happening.
Honestly though, I think it doesn't matter the skin color of your doctor as long as they're knowledgeable, compassionate and understanding. My last GYN is Black and she couldn't care less about what was going on with me - I was bleeding during my period for 9 days before I was pregnant (not the first time it was irregular) I went in to see her, explained what was going on, and she didn't do blood work, not even an exam - she chalked it up to stress and just shoved birth control at me which I didn't bother picking up. Needless to say dropped her like a hot potato and my new OB/GYN first day I met her explained the same issues and immediately she scheduled me for a transvaginal ultrasound with a full set of blood work to see what was going on. I hope if we do end up moving that I can find someone comparable to her!
OMG! When you mentioned how your personal medical health seemed to have gone by the wayside when your care switched over to the OB-GYN I know what you mean!!!! I was considered a geriatric pregnancy (36). I was transitioning into the 3rd trimester when I caught a cold that turned into bronchitis to finally pneumonia! Those MFs (ON-GYN/hospital doctors/staff) were only concerned about my child’s condition! They wouldn’t even prescribe or suggest taking anything to help with me being sick. And my child was doing great but because my body was under so much distress with being sick it could be to become pre-eclampsia therefore I was admitted into the hospital. I developed gestational asthma but NO ONE even gave it a thought to evaluate me for asthma until past out at the hospital after having an attack.
Chile… my birth/delivery journey was so horrible I refused to do that again - tubes tied! That whole experience made me even more feministic when it comes to a woman’s healthcare matters.
25 years later and I still remember
my pictocin induced delivery like it was moments ago. I honestly feel that my lack of additional children is because of my experience. Congratulations on the healthy birth of your king. Cherish every moment because they grow fast.
That doula was trash n she wouldn't have gotten paid. When I was pregnant, I was the meanest person due to my hormones. She would've hated me bc I would've cursed her out so bad, she'd quit n find another profession. Also, here in Florida they tried to make me have a C-section but I refused. They kept trying to tell me that I signed paperwork n I told them it was under duress n I'd sue the shit out of them. I know my body n what it could do, so after almost two hours of pushing, I delivered. I was also induced n they are now saying that's not the best route to take. U are not lying about the contractions after Pitocin. They gave me the epidural as well n after I used that up, they wouldn't give me more. I had maybe an hour or two of relief where I nearly fell asleep, but then boom, the worse pain of my life. They said it was too late n so I labored with no meds. Then my doctor had to leave as I was in labor forever, so then a resident took over. That mfer was trash n he was the one trying to pressure me into a cesarean. He then proceeded to perform an episiotomy that was so botched, I still have the scars today. He cut from right below my clitoral hood to the perineum. I didn't know I could've sued him bc I nearly bled to death. My dad had to give me blood for my transfusion. I did get Dilaudid for the transfusion n the delivery of my placenta. U are right, if that's what they gave u, it was so good n an immediate pain reliever. I said the same thing, were I am addictive personality type for drugs, I would def be an opioid abuser. Anyway, it was horrible. My experience influenced my decision to go into nursing bc I wanted to work in L&D to be an advocate for my patients. I only had one, my daughter, after that experience, I said never again. The last part of the video describing how u feel about ur little man, that's how I felt with my daughter. She had complications from the cord n meconium inhalation, but she made everything that happened before go away. I tell everyone, the love u have for ur baby is like nothing else in this world. To look at their faces everyday as they grow, it's a beautiful thing. I'm so happy u have gotten to experience this n I can see the utter joy in ur face for ur baby. Congratulations momma!!
I'm 37 and my first baby is due at the end of September. I agree reading the statistics on negative outcomes for Black Moms is terrifying. I appreciate you sharing your story with us. Congrats on your son! 💕
Have a safe, smooth and happy delivery 💕
I personally will not be upset pivoting to more mommy content 😭 I love listening/watching you talk about your son and your experience. Thank you!
Ikr !! I just love hearing jouelzy talk
same!
omg my mom had me at 37! love seeing women who don’t adhere to society’s artificial timelines. any anxieties you may be having because of your age, forget them. your age will not ever matter to them or their development. just try to remember that there is a generational gap, and there will be miscommunications and misunderstandings because of that.
I moved from PA to NC 2 years ago. I was extremelyyyyyyyy disappointed with the healthcare and medical community and experience. I was shocked how bad and mediocre the hospitals were. I wonder what can be done about improving the healthcare industry down here. It really needs dramatic improvement and updated healthcare options.
Are you in a metropolitan city like Charlotte or a small town?
Also curious if this is in Charlotte as I plan to move there soon
Our experience were so similar and I am in Canada. I was pressured to induce as soon as I was 36 weeks due to the baby charting “small”. From there we had biweekly and eventually weekly ultrasounds with a non-stress every 3 days where baby was passing every time. Given that, I pushed back until I was 40 weeks but the conversation to induce was so strong. I did all the things towards the end to kick start labor including playing basketball the day before I went into labor, naturally. Thank God. I ended up at the hospital vs the birthing centre but we had to advocate for ourselves the entire time. I feel all they do is push the induction/C-section on black women even though it may not be necessary. I will never forget the pain and yes, my baby looks just like her daddy 😮💨
The fro is flourishing 😍
Lol why didn’t i know your 37. I’ve been watching you since i was 18. What a journey!
I’m happy you had a baby who’s healthy and you made it through cause giving birth is something different(I had two #boymom). Giving birth literally tests our body, it’s no joke.
I can relate also I wanted a water birth for my first but ended up in a hospital being induced on Pitocin no epidural.
Second baby (5years later) was two days late and I let him come on his own time and he was 2 days later than his due date.
I had my 1st child at 40 in 2020...it was an aweful experience! Because of placenta previa I delivered via c-section at 37 weeks...pre and post partum care was aweful...wanted a diula but could not get one because of pandemic...but my child is AMAZING...STRAP YOUR SEATBELT...being a boy-mom is WILD❤❤❤
I love hearing fellow black women birth stories. Motherhood is a trip and it continues. Yess I was cosigning so much of what youve said in this video. They "had" to put me on pitocin too. Natural birth in my really went at that point and I agreed to the highly uncomfortable epidural though I hate needles. My epidural didnt work and I couldnt handle a redo. So I just had to deal with the pain until I could magically push. I had mad hemorrhoids and they got worse during pushing, at that point once i felt her head with my fingers, I kinda went f' it time to get her out. Same didnt get the birth plan I wanted, but yes surreal and greaftul indeed 😊 love my baby. Anyways, Congratulations on ya little guy🎉
North Carolina is terrible for birth!! I thought it was just me, I’m 32 weeks now and your story with doulas and water birthing! NC is VERY behind!! Also Pitocin gives wayy worse contractions. They have been finding that once you get on it you’re most likely to take an epidural and then more likely to do a C section. I’m sorry about your experience I feel like it just shows just how much we go through during a normal pregnancy
Yes! Watch the business of being born. I watched it years ago but it details how these doctors basically try to scam you in the birthing process.
This was so helpful! I have always said I did not want to have kids because the labor experience just looks so terrifying to me. After watching your video, I realize I just need to educate myself about the birth experience and different options ❤ thank you!
I pushed for 2 hours, but I do think it was because I didn’t know what I was doing. My midwife just kept saying “bear down” 🙄
Like ma’am what does that mean… this is my first rodeo
I just turned 34 this month & I’m 2 months pregnant, & I’m so glad I’m at this stage in life & fairly seasoned!
I’ve got the same questions about a doula. I haven’t been able to hire one in Texas and I’m 23/24 weeks in 😭😭😭
the commonality in the stories here from black mothers is so sad. i have no knowledge about nc medical or insurance laws but it’s crazy the extent the medical complex in this country period goes through to ensure they’re making the most money. did you know that the lungs are the last organ to develop in the baby and labor is triggered by a chemical they send to you saying their lungs are fully developed? inductions not only put unnecessary stress on two bodies unprepared for birth, it also correlates with the uptick of postpartum complications in mama and baby. labor is a natural body process and it is a shame that that truth is obscured for profit. just think about how much more expensive your bills become when they can tack those procedures on. i wish that you and other women had had the chance of having an informed and compassionate doula to advocate for the birth you deserve /and/ postpartum experience. this really just fuels me to get my doula certification and start changing lives where i can
around 30 mins in now and my god, what the fuck? truly truly truly wish you were better informed and cared for. so glad you and baby are here and healthy at the veryyy least.
Congrats Jouelzy! Mommyhood is worth all the setbacks.
My first I was pushed into interventions. My second I refused to have anything unnecessary and I was perfectly capable and fine to have a home-birth. My doula was amazing. My midwife was affirming. I’m so mad that Black women are immediately labeled as unable to naturally birth when the interventions are what causes so many issues. Thank you for speaking about your experience.
They dont provide enough information for inform consent by design.
Sigh. I totally feel you on the emphasis on interventions and less concern for my personal issues. Sad that your doula wasn't an informed advocate. Our doula experience was great.
Pushing for an hr and a half is alot. Id have to disagree that pushing isnt innate. Your body will not allow the baby stay inside. Everyone being in the room pressuring you to do all these things is not natural.
My doctor told me to hold my breath While pushing..did that 3 times (hold breath /push/breathe) and baby slipped out of my vagina into her arms.
I think it's hilarious that you favor sparkling water, the same thing happened to me when I was breast feeding my oldest daughter. Everything suddenly was just too sweet and I was adding sparkling water to everything. Your body knows what it needs and has the funniest ways of showing us! Enjoy this new journey sis ❤
I’ve been watching you for 10 years. I’m so happy to see your growth. Thank you for educating me on different topics.
I loved my doula experience 10 years ago with these two white women in the Charlotte area. They had a center but i discovered them after I had already started prepaying the hospital for delivery fees. I Labored at home and pushed at the hospital with no medication ❤ They were at my home for hours and with me at the hospital, taking pictures of precious moments...Last year we went with a younger black doula in the Raleigh area and I felt similar to you with there being a lack of professionalism and expertise. Ended up having an emergency c- section after some complications. Wasted money. I never was able to have a home/water birth due to centers already being booked around my due date.
@jihancole9720 do you mind sharing the doula's name you used in Charlotte?
I remember foregoing my last appointment the week I was due to give birth..I'd heard so many women complaining about being "fingered", induced and given worrisome feedback on baby. I suggest laboring at home as much as possible. The mucous plug coming out scared me, it was the beginning stages of 17-18 hour labor. An epidural was suggested to me one too many times which is quite annoying because I'd made it clear I didn't Want one, stand your ground folks and have your partner, or loved one around for massages and support
So I am 33- had my first baby in March 2022. Why did you just describe to the T the experience I had having my son? I ended up having an induction and c section. I was so out of it and disappointed. I really hope when I decide to have another child, I am more prepared and aware of things. I have been so grateful to have breastfed him for almost 16 months. I love my son so much and he is perfect and healthy! That’s makes up for the trauma ❤
I wish we could have more discussion around this topic because as someone who is pursuing a degree as an advanced practice nurse I would really like to talk about ways to handle these topics that are beneficial for the patients
Wait…I’ve really been MIA🥹. Had no idea🥹
She has content about her motherhood on TikTok!
Tressie McMillan cottom wrote about her experience losing a child to medical racism and negligence in North Carolina
Wow this is almost my exact same birth story. I had a home birth scheduled and went past 42 weeks and had to transfer from the midwife to the hospital. I’m also in NC. I did ALL the things even castor oil nothing worked. I was 42+ and never dilated past 2 ended up in emergency C-section. Turns out baby girls cord was too short. She was never coming out vaginally.
Congratulations once again Jouelzy 🎉 blessings upon blessings upon blessings ✨✨✨
Hey, happy that you shared your experience. Sad that you had an experience different than what you wanted. Years ago, as a social worker, I realized that I needed to choose my team carefully and before any incidents. My OB is the best, but I did a lot of research and interviewed her first. I found that it is important to me to ensure goodness of fit with the doctors before I sign on. So I either go to specialists based on her recommendation or my research. Sending you virtual hugs. Cheers to your parenting and breastfeeding journey.
Omg I throw up as well during periods if I don't take medication. I'm already terrified of pregnancy & This pregnancy story is wilddddd. I'm so happy you got through it all, you are strong sister omg. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I know you're a private person and I totally respect the decision you made to share this, which I know came with intentionally. The info you shared was very helpful for me and gave me some things to consider, become informed on, and advocate for when the time comes. I'm so happy you're happy with your new family 💕 Much love to you all
Thank you for sharing, I’ve been watching you since about 2010. I threw up too from the pitocin and pain as well and once I thew up I was like pass that epidural. I got the epidural and it didn’t work for me either I kept telling them to give me more. I pooped during the delivery as well all I felt was like I have to poop I did not feel my baby girl coming through as well. Through it all I was blessed to deliver a healthy babygirl and now 16 months postpartum I would not trade it all!
This is my exact experience. I attempt to advocate for myself but they treat me like I have no clue whats going on. I am standing strong in a home birth. I dont know exactly how to advocate for black mother's on a larger scale.
I appreciate you sharing this experience despite all of the challenges and disappointments you went through. I deeply admire you as a person and creator and I was so eager to learn about your stepping into this new role of motherhood, which I also hope to take on one day. Congratulations, Jouelzy You did that!!
My first pregnancy at 32 was high risks due to being overweight, and my family medical history. During that pregnancy, I never had GD or pre-e (thank the lord). I did have a C-section due to her being being breech. For my currently pregnancy at 34 it has been hard to deal with. I am thankful for all of the caution, testing and etc… but it’s so overwhelming because I’m constantly being referred somewhere for testing and its making me so afraid. I’m trying my best to stay positive and praying vs. really enjoying this second pregnancy.
I had a terrible birthing experience with my 1st child also and thought I was done with having kids! But God blessed me with another child and the experience was much better!
Thanks for being honest about your experience. I don't think I'm doing childbirth, this is insanity. Mine will be delivered by a stork
Oh where do I start! This conversation is spot on! I’m 39, a little over weight, and 31 weeks pregnant. I have passed all my tests. I’m pretty healthy. And haven’t gained much weight. The only complications that I’m having is placenta previa. But, because of my age and weight I have a lot of interventions. Thankfully, my MFM doctor is a dope black woman and very aware of the disparities. My Ob is hopeful that I will have a vaginal birth. Your experience is helpful in that I know what to be cautious of as I get closer to birthing.
Placenta previa is a big one! My sis and law had it. They scheduled a c section at 37 weeks.
This story had so many twists and turns but Im happy you and the little one are beautiful and blessed rn. If/when there's a baby number two, I hope you get many more things you want.
Your story is so beautiful and made me reminisce thinking about my own labor story about 11 years ago. I definitely remember being told that it’s best we induce and I only got to push for a short while before they told me we had to do an emergency C section because his heart rate was lowering. I am just so thankful it ended in him being here and being healthy 🙏🏽. Even though they turn 10 and turn pure evil 😩😩😩
I've been waiting for this because I'm pregnant and living in Charlotte
American birth stories are so scary
Thank you for sharing this Im considering having my baby in another state now.
I def had the “can everything just be okay” concerns.
When you really think about it, it's expensive af to have a child. Esp if you want your labor and delivery done a certain way. I
I completely understand the other parent being upset because I would be LIVID because why would you not explain this to me before? Disgusting.
JOUELZY! I been following you since 22/23.
Thank you for your stories and sharing your growth. This was truly helpful for me
Wow. It's as if you're telling my story of when I gave birth to my son in Charlotte at 35 a few years ago. Achieving home birth was impossible and I ended up having a c-section. I'm so, so sorry about your birthing experience, but also want to say congratulations for delivering a healthy baby and good luck with the 4th trimester. It is a beautiful beast of an experience.
I’m sorry you felt pushed to have interventions. This is why GOOD doulas and patient care advocates are so important. I know this isn’t possible for some people, especially with the shortage of ob/gyns but I will “fire” any doctor that gives me the wrong impression. Our American healthcare system is set up like a business and sees patients as customers. As a paying customer, I have the freedom to take my business elsewhere. I’ve had doctors make unsettling comments and that was the last time they ever saw me. Hearing your experience further confirms my reasons for pursuing medicine
Edit: I continued watching and you’re not the first person to talk about improper care from midwives, their training isn’t comprehensive enough (in my opinion) to be the sole provider for a pregnant woman. I also hate how they left you uninformed….I feel like I have it lucky only because I have a medical background and so does my mom. So we know what questions to ask. It’s the job of providers to explain these things well in order to preserve patient autonomy. Nonetheless I’m so grateful you had a healthy delivery
I’m so happy for you hun, you are glowing with the excitement of motherhood.
Thank you really for sharing. At 34 hoping to be blessed to experience childbirth one day, it was very educational and may help to drive a conversation or lend points in case I am in a similar situation. Blessings.
Thank you so much for sharing your labor and delivery experience with us. It was very descriptive and extremely informative. I’m currently TTC and as I black woman over 30, I’m trying to do my due diligence by educating myself so when it’s time I can advocate for me.
It’s Crazy how even with a birthing plan, they try to rush us through the system. ❤Much love you and baby
Thank you for sharing! I'm happy for you.😊 What you said about the worries and fears around being a black woman in the medical industry (and other contexts too)-- worrying even more when nothing is going wrong--resonated with me. I'll probably be in my 40s for this experience, so it's always educational to hear stories like this. What a beautiful journey you have been on over the many years. Thanks for sharing it with us.
Thank you for sharing Jouelzy. I’m in my early thirties so planning on having a baby and hearing your experience has always helped me to brace myself(from when I was teenager until now). So thank you.
This gave me so many memories of my mothers pregnancy w my twin little sisters😊
She was also nudged to c-section, she safely didnt tho.
I too have a pitocin and epidural baby! As long as they are healthy thats all that matters ❤ Thanks for sharing your story 😊
41:57 😂😂,thank God I'm a man.
As a doula, I love listening to folks expectations. It's not off-putting to me. When I meet with a client, I am sure to ask what they know about doulas, what are your expectations, and I tell them ideally how the day of will go. Obviously things change, but I want them to know what to expect from me. Especially in early labor, when things can last for DAYS!! I don't want to them to expect that I will come the moment they have the first contraction, because I can't be there for 3 days on end. But I can come when you have a regular contraction pattern, and be available in early labor via FaceTime, text, calls, or even an in person visit for moral support. I also frame it as "When things are REALLY INTENSE, you're going to want the support of a fresh doula. Whereas in early labor where you're able to sleep through it, we don't want to spend precious time just looking at each other, when we both could be resting for the active phase."
Hi, Jouelzy my name is Shirley Williams we are related by my father on the Proctor sides. I am here in Tampa Florida @ the family reunion.
Thank you for sharing ❤
I’m 31 with no kids and I feel sooooo behind 😅 all my friends got multiple kids
Every time you give us a little insight into your journey I’m just over here beaming for you 💕
Next time, go with WHATEVER DOULA resonates with you, whether WHITE, PURPLE or ORANGE! Do not go with someone JUST BECAUSE they're black (again, I'm assuming that they were both black). I'm so annoyed that you had such an awful experience.
Currently 30 wanting to experience pregnancy at 37/38. Thank you for this.
Your labor and delivery story similar to mine. I had my first child at 30, during the pandemic and I definitely wasn’t mentally prepared. I did an elective induction at almost 41 weeks (because I was tired and anxious) and whew!! There wasn’t any hypnobirthing that can help you through Pitocin. Once I made it to 8 cm I was begging for an epidural so I can sleep because the pitocin had me feeling like I was going through an exorcism. Lol. Glad that you and your little one are healthy. Congratulations on being a mother! Thanks for sharing your experience.
I'm sorry. I'm NOT paying a doula to have her CHILD come with her at MY appointment. NOPE! Would a DOCTOR, NURSE, CARPENTER, ARCHITECT, PLUMBER bring their CHILD while they SERVICE you? I think not.
And I'm guessing the doulas were black? And had you not hired fellow sistas, people would have been ON you, right? Smh. This isn't to say that people of other races wouldn't be unprofessional but come on! I'm annoyed and I'm not EVEN pregnant. I don't EVEN have kids.
Informed consent was lacking throughout much of your third trimester.
Girl. Hxll nah!!!! Congratulations on your baby though😂😂 childbirth as a concept dont sit right in my spirit 😂
What you described about the doulas sounds like people who figured "hey, here's a quick way to make some money. I do a short course, sit this, get licensed, and BOOM! $". Sickening.
This was incredible. YOU are incredible, Jouelzy! Thank you so much for sharing your story and congratulations!!
I was 38 when I had my daughter . Thankfully a great ob/gyn and despite me having all the risk factors being black overweight in advance maternal age I had a great pregnancy and delivery thankfully I filled heard they didn't pressure me into having no C-section they didn't give me no therapies that I didn't need like the game has changed in the last 7 years.
Jouelzy my heart goes out to you regarding your birth experience. I think you were conned regarding your doula. Your state is documented as one of the worst states for natural child birth. I'm so sorry. What you experienced with pitocin is called rolling contractions. Basically with natural contractions they start and stop and you have time in between perhaps two minutes to recover. With rolling contractions you have one contraction and your body goes into the other without any break. THE WORST. Also when you have an unmedicated birth you feel the difference between contractions. The contractions you experience when your cervix is opening feel very different from the contractions when its time to push. But with an epidural you won't feel it and our default is to push as if you're having a bm but it's not the same. Im glad that at the end of your labor you can enjoy your blessing. If their are additional children in your future I hope you get the birthing experience you desire. Thanks for sharing your birthing story.
Wow, thank you for sharing. Your experience sounds incredibly frustrating! I am a doctor who originally wanted to be an OBGYN until I saw first hand why the Black maternal mortality rate is high and didn't want to be a contributor. Hearing your perspective as a patient makes it even harder to digest the state of our medical system. Also as a fellow North Carolinian I am appalled at the lack of options for a water birth! Midwifery being outlawed was the worst thing for Black childbirth, so much wisdom lost. Now that modern day midwifery is heavily regulated and is within the system of capitalism, I'm sure it looks nothing like it did before. Grateful you had a happy ending, but definitely giving me more to think about regarding solutions for Black maternal mortality, and morbidity! We deserve better
This was so entertaining even though it was traumatic ❤ Big congrats ❤❤❤🎉
Thank you for sharing!
Your video was very helpful, thank you for sharing your experience ❤
Thank you sharing! No where near giving birth but I enjoy learning from others.
I truly hate that you had such a wack doula experience.