I’ve been on my job for 35 years and out of the 35 I was able to work like a human for about 25 years. The older I got the more difficult it became to keep up with the changes on the job. my commute was 1 and half hours going and coming on a good day if the weather was bad could be much longer. I would tell myself only 3 things could happen I could get fired, retire or get let go with a generous severance package. I would pray night and day for the package I eventually got so tired and fed up that I went into my manager asked to be placed at the top of the list if a package became available. I knew I could have been fired just to keep me from getting the package but I was tired at this point and wanted out by any means necessary. Fast forward my manager sent me an IM and I was told my position was eliminated my last day will be 1/12 ! 🤗 Praise God I’m going out with the severance package which belongs to me .
Congratulations!! 🎉🍾 I hope you will rest and take the absolute best care of yourself as you recover from your work life. Your next chapter belongs to you! 👍🏽
My job description was changed dramatically, was told to do work I HATED, felt no support from boss and HR. After a couple interactions with HR I knew I had to do something. So I hired a lawyer and in the end got a severance package. This allowed me some breathing room and I was able to figure out what I really wanted to do and eventually opened up my own business which I LOVE! For me it was finding out what I didn't want versus what I did want and this helped bring clarity to the situation. This chaos led me to realizing my dream livelihood.
Smart, smart, smart! I’m glad you nipped that nonsense in the bud rather than waiting until you were too exhausted to fight back!✊🏾Congratulations on your business 😃
Glad you left that horrible job. I left a toxic job 6 yrs ago. I HAD to GO. It was the coworkers more than the job. I knew I had savings to live on for a few months. Took on temp assignments for income. 2019, I got so I thought a stable job(non-temp), worked all through covid but was blindsided by layoff in 2022. Prior to that my boss & I asked the CEO what he was going to do with the office. No communication by CEO or HR. My boss & I knew something was up. Unfortunately, my boss passed away due to health issues & they laid me off the day of her wake/funeral. How heartless was that! I was angry with how they went about it than I was the layoff. It has been a struggle/stressful due to layoff, moving & job hunting. I took early retirement(semi-retired) but still need to work. I had a temp job this year. If I could temp & it was somewhat steady income, I would do it long term. I'm not interested in remote work or doing UA-cam content. I'm subscribed to your channel & will be watching some more vids soon.
That all sounds super stressful. It’s wild that employers are fine with firing people on the spot but expect employees to give them at least 2 weeks’ notice. I hope you can find a healthy work/life balance.
@@RebloomRoom It was super stressful. Its nothing I ever want to relive again. I'm moving towards peace & quiet with ease & setting boundaries over some recent family drama which has nothing to do with me. Grown folks need to handle their own business. I'm not about that life. 😏😉
Maybe become a transport driver or courier or delivering medical supplies or Amazon? Uber and Lyft drivers are striking due to low pay and overcharging customers.
Here is what I have read. Employers want certain employees gone or a certain number of employees gone. Rather than lay off and deal with unemployment, the employer pushes the magic button that will make employees quit. Demanding a return to the office is one of the magic buttons.
1. Resources: Stephenie and Rashida and Exodus Summit. Saved money and payed off debt. 2. Told HR and boss that I am giving my notice (after 20+ years). Told workplace that I needed a break and want to do something different. Gave 2 months notice and was told by the boss that it wasn't enough and that I will never find another boss like him. From his lips to God's ears! I feel like I have release a 2 ton weight off of my shoulders.
“You’ll never have anyone as great as me” sounds like an abusive husband trying to get his spouse to stay. 🙃 He was lucky to have you on his staff and you know it! Two months was not enough? The audacity 😂 Congratulations!!!
😂 at “young.” Thank you for the compliment, I think 😂 But yeah, work can be rough. TBH, I’ve had a couple of truly amazing humans as managers, including my direct manager in the job I quit. Good managers do their best to protect their teams from nonsense as it comes from above. When their efforts are no longer successful, it’s time to walk….
You're dealing with people higher in the Dark Tetrad (narcissism, Machiavellianism, psychopathy, sadism) and I've dealt with this at a non-profit (USO). Narcissists are grandiose and feel entitled to people's time; Machiavellianism has to do with traits such as feigning humility, compassion, etc., but ultimately being highly manipulative and self-centered; and psychopathy has to do with being indifferent to the rights of others. All of these people can be sadistic wherein they get enjoyment out of messing with people. Part of why managers are insisting on people returning to the office now, I think in part comes down to them not being able to satiate their antisocial drives such as using subordinates for their narcissistic and sadistic supply. The Dark Triad has been on the rise, so remote work is surely going to be the best option, and on a permanent basis. Otherwise you're eventually going to run into manipulative people.
Whew - you went deep! But I get how positions where people can have power over others would attract people with personality disorders. And when there’s no power, they will attempt to twist a situation until they have some. I’ve definitely seen it, too.
This is so true but when oh when do the psychos realize that they need their jobs too? There’s always someone higher up in the food chain that can clip them at any given time. But the majority of situations I’ve witnessed were just like what Cat described. The bullying behavior went unchecked and the fallout was massive.
I've seen bullies float from one high-paying position to the next. They know what they're doing and aren't bothered by the fallout they leave behind. It's hard to watch.
@@RebloomRoom There's an interesting study pointing to companies hiring people higher in the Dark Triad on purpose as they are more prone towards, for instance, altering the company's numbers which permits them to beat out their competition. More moral people actually get pre-screened out which is why these people are so common in managerial positions.
Hi Kat I watch your channel. It has truly blessed my life. I want to first say Thank you for your journey. I am close to my quite date. I had this planned for a year. I am midlife and did not learn until now that I don't have to hurt to my core and be unhappy just to make a living. Better late than never. I am so proud of millennials -they quit in a minute if they are not happy or at least content. That is self care and self protection. Thank you Kat.
Thank you so much! I’m so glad you’re enjoying my videos; I hope they’re helping you bring more joy into your life. I’ve learned that when you realize that you’re on a wrong path, it’s best to stop walking and reassess. Change is hard, but worth the effort when happiness and self-fulfillment is the goal. Best of luck as you find your happy path!
I am 30 years old and I have quite 9 jobs so far because I refuse to be treated unfairly and do not believe I need stay in any job and be disrespected by anyone, you could be the boss.
"Toxic bully co-worker" "HR and DEI depts are crap" " fought over sick days" "pulled out the rug on them instantly. Let go" I thank God I've been a lifelong entrepenuer, and have never had to deal with the office / corp politics and issues
I feel like I'm grieving with you as you fought to separate yourself from those abusive coworkers. xoxo ... the narcissism with those folks is palpable
Thank you so much, coach DonnaMarie! TBH, there were many kind, talented people on my team. But beyond my team, there were a few bad apples and an overall misalignment of the organization with its stated mission. It was a lot to process.
OUCH! This really hurts because it's so similar to how they're treating us who are melanated ( they have us driving 4 hours in one direction) vs. those who are unmyelinated ( they may have maybe 40 mins in one direction). Painful to watch. I guess this is PTSD, and I am still there.
I’m so sorry that you’re experiencing this, too. It’s awful. And as more of us speak up about it, we are recognizing how common this on-the-job harm really is. I hope you are able to find support as you create your way out.
You have amazing skills. IMO, you don't need to stay at any company if you're not happy. I'm sure multiple organizations would be over joyed to work with you. All the best to you in your next position.
Thanks so much! I appreciate the kind words. Luckily, I tend to consider these positions my “day jobs,” so I don’t put them at the center of my life. I have creative projects that light me up more than anybody’s j-o-b. 😊
I never answered your question but I was at a job as an HR person and was deeply stressed. I left that job with a savings. I asked a friend if I could stay at thier house for a few months for free and that helped making leaving that job more possible financially. It did take me 8 months (and a lot of stress) before I found another job, but during those 8 months I really regrounded myself in what kind of career I wanted to carve out. Now, I am in the desired field but still wish I was remote fully particularly because of my sensory issues. I deeply value travel so I know a fully remote gig would truly give me space to be wherever I’d like to be and not be bound to a certain location. I am going to stay out where I am now as I rebuild my savings, and plan out what the next year will look like for me.
Yes! Good for you, pivoting and finding a way to make the changes you need. It’s great that you have a friend to stay with while you figure things out. If you keep making incremental improvements and stay open to change, you’ll keep bringing yourself closer to where you want to be. As they say, “If you’re going through a difficult time, keep going!” Also, I wonder if working remotely could be a reasonable workplace accommodation for you as someone with sensory sensitivity. Worth looking into. 😊
Hey Cathy, This is Nikita you mentored me when I was a young girl. I also recently quiet my job over office bullying and low morality. Now trying to build something on my own terms away from capitalist standards. Sadly a black just killed herself over an bullying situation such as this. New rules, standards and development much be reestablished to combat this type of treatment but if not don't stay in an toxic environment. I see a lot more lawsuits developing in the near future.
Hi Nikita - Grrl! You’re all grown now!? That’s wild! Thank you for watching. I’m so sorry that you experienced bullying on the job. I know you worked hard to get there, and then you found yourself in an environment that did not deserve you. Ugh. Please don’t give up hope. There are a lot of us who are doing things differently and are determined to live life on our terms. Hugs to you, sis. 🥰
@RebloomRoom Thank you so much, Cathy. Thank you for being a voice to others. So you live outside the country now. I want to move out of the country so badly, but it's a lot to learn and do.
I am still recovering from being at a stressful job. I still have PTSD. I have been away from that job for 11 years and when I hear the name, my mood changes.
I'm so sorry you experienced that. I really hope you are doing all you can to move past that experience. The negative effects that stress can have on our physical and mental health is REAL.💝
I moved 2000 miles away for a government job. Three months in I was burnt out. The pay, the amount of work, dealing with the patients, etc. I HATED that job! Often times I was left alone on the floor. They asked me to come back no thank you! Not worth the stress, weight gain which I working on getting off now. Peace is priceless!
Wow, in just three months! I’m sure it was a major disappointment after moving and uprooting for the job. I’m glad to hear that you’re out of there and that you’re taking care of yourself! This job stress can take so much out of us mentally and physically. 💝
Congrats on making a decision that works for you. I recently retired, and I totally understand many of the points you made! You deserve flowers for allowing yourself every opportunity for peace and renewal. Be blessed.🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
Thank you for the honesty. I related to that beginning clip soooo much. I quit my job last week. I worked so hard to discover me in this phase of my life and in three short weeks, I started to lose myself again. I'm trusting God with my future, but it starts with NEVER abandoning myself for employment again.
It’s so rough! Feeling like you’re losing yourself or breaking a promise you made to yourself is such a horrible feeling. But you quit! I’m so glad you saved yourself, even tho it’s hard when you don’t know what’s next ❤️
Smart move - congratulations! That was a good moment to walk away. The stress of that time was truly overwhelming; many still have not fully recovered emotionally from it. 😟
Thank you! I’m sorry you can identify with this. It’s all too common that we’re expected to put up with nonsense. No looking back for either of us. 👍🏽👍🏽
I have an EPIC quit story, I would love to tell it on your podcast and answer your questions. Too much to type. I was a cape crusader and I had never quit anything, but I changed for the better 😊.
I am glad you found the courage to go and choose yourself! I cant talk too much about my current situation. Lets just say I am soaking up whatever knowledge I can and making connections while I kerp my resume updated. The former workplace you described sounds like a modern day plantation. Frankly, I view corporate America and its equally messed up cousin, kon profit America, as such. They will put a lot of wotk on you, change things up, and target you as "trouble" if you don't smile while they do it
Sounds like you’re in the “moving in silence” phase. Always good to keep your resume and contacts fresh; updating it can remind you of your accomplishments and give you a nudge if there are skills you want to level up. The way I see it, work is a mutually beneficial agreement. Once it stops being so, it’s time for the agreement to end. 🤷🏾♀️ I’m hoping for a smooth and beneficial transition for you to a better situation, whatever that entails for you. 👍🏽
I just found your channel today. I find it interesting that I found it after I have decided to put in my 2 week notice. I decided that I am tired and too stressed, and cannot acheive my health goals while working 40 hours at a job I don't like. I'm subscribed now! Looking forward to finsing some peace.
Answering your questions at the end of the video! - I have been studying and preparing to move into a more creative role, instead of the corporate world I've worked in for 10 years without much progress. Ive essentially decided to build my own business after improving throughout 2023. - I originally planned to stay at my corporate job through June 2024, but after the week we had off for the holidays, I couldn't force myself to get excited and focused about the work again on Jan 3rd. I told them that after having time off, I realized that I was more stressed than I thought and it was time for me to resign. I planned to end on the 12th but they convinced me to stay an extra week for training my team mates, etc. My hubby and I have an emergency fund, and he is working as well. So I can give myself at least a month off and prep everything I need to dive into my creative endeavors!
Thank you for subscribing! So many of us are just plain tired 😪 I feel like it’s an epidemic. We get to the point where our feet just refuse to carry on that path any further. I’m glad you’re walking away and wish you ease and joy.
Yes to prioritizing yourself over these jobs! I'm so glad you listened to yourself. It can be scary, but it sounds like you have ideas for how to create a life that will sustain you in more ways than just financially. It's great you have a supportive partner, too!
Hmm. As a former journalist, I was just having this discussion with a buddy who wants to get back into a newsroom. I told him that the work was great, but the colleagues were not, and the atmosphere was toxic - ESPECIALLY for black people. I told him point blank: "There were managers and editors who were terrible, but HR ignored the issue, and those managers kept getting promoted." And, for some reason, the worst bosses usually were these white women getting all "boss chic" with everyone, and were just mean.
It’s so annoying / disheartening / angering / demoralizing when bad behavior gets rewarded right in front of our eyes. Ugh. And unfortunately, in my experience bad managers (and HR directors) come in all colors, genders, shapes and sizes. It blows chunks. 😣
I left a job I worked a for 3 years because of continuous unfair treatment from my supervisor, that I reported to HR and the assistant General manager and they did not rectify the situations. I simply email HR manager my resignation and also gave the HR assist a hard-copy. I stated that I am resigning for the poistion and the particular day. I definitely didn't need to say thanks or to give a resson because I have filed many complaints.
Good that you looked out for yourself. HR is there to protect the organization, not the employees. So no, HR doesn’t care about your reason. I left an association after 12 years and my “exit interview” consisted of some HR rando asking me “Are you sure?” 🙃 I’m hoping you’ve created a more peaceful life for yourself 💞
I recently resigned from my job. Best thing I’ve ever done. Do I have a plan? Yes. Was I afraid to quit? Yes. Did I make the right choice? Yes and I’d do it again if needed. Initially I thought wow, I really like my job. I’m 28 years old and I worked with a group of ladies between the ages of 50-75. I thought this is great! Working with women that are wise and seasoned. I thought wow! I could learn so much from them. Only to realize these group of women reminded me of my high school years. They had cliques, they were petty, spoke over one another and had no respect for one another. They talked about each-other and they constantly pointed out each other flaws. They begin to do the same to me and I was not interested in this foolery. The culture was well, let’s just say lacking. I constantly felt out of place and undervalued. Upon me announcing my resignation I was asked if there was anything they could do to change my mind. I simply replied no. It was my time to go. Crazy part is when I first started this job I was often met with surprised faces and comments like, “ Oh wow you’re still here? You haven’t quit yet?” That should have been my red flag number 1. I really wanted this job to work but obviously god has other plans for me which is why when I left I was relieved and it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I started to feel the department begin doing things that would make any employee want to quit. It was their way of pushing me out. Either way I’m happy and I learned what I could while I was there after all I’m a millennial. We were born in a generation that had to and will always have to “just figure it out”. Thanks for sharing your story. It was very impactful. I’m currently taking a break from the corporate workplace. I’m intentionally not seeking work right now because I just need a break and time to realign myself with new goals and aspirations. I’m blessed enough to have savings put away to carry me through this period of my life.
I’m so glad you read the signs and made your move. So many stay and struggle, trying to improve a no-win situation. Your story reminds me of my previous job when younger staff would enter with such enthusiasm, and then they’d see how the sausage was made and run for the hills. You always know it’s time to leave when you start to envy the people who quit!
There is so much to say as a person who is going through the same things from HR crap to coming back to office, from bullying to low morale and high turnover rates... so thank you so much for sharing your story it means a lot for the people like i am who is still strugalling to make that decision. Im one step closer today
It really takes a toll. My energy was in survival mode, giving me a clear signal that the situation had devolved into one of harm. Listen to your body, gather your resources and be ready to move when it’s time. No apologies, no explanations. It’s *your* life; you are in charge of it.✊🏾
CONGRATULATIONS Kat on liberating yourself and taking your power back!!!!! Please accept my apologies in advance if this request is coming too soon...are you available to be a Panelist on mt channel discussing the "whys" and "hows" in relation to leaving a toxic job?❤
Congratulations! I left my old job over a year ago due to the stress, the schedule and being overworked. I lived off of savings for a year and honestly I do not regret leaving!
It takes time for that toxicity and tension to leave our bodies. The stress of overworking takes a toll on us, so I’m so very glad you gave yourself the gift of leaving! And I hope you are taking the absolute best care of yourself daily. 💞
I’m 💯 glad I left. It’s so easy to make work the center of your life. Even those who could easily retire (financially speaking) don’t know when to quit. 😟
Yeah... that really hit me. She was a Black woman who had done a lot in her field, including mentoring and teaching. Her working until the day before she died made me so sad. It also made me realize what I'm not going to do.
That would definitely stay with me. The sick thing is they clear out your desk and you are replaced like you don't matter. My ex husband's dad wouldn't stop working. I guess he wanted to still be needed or something. He semi retired and made those long commutes up until he keeled over one day. The company paid for the funeral and stuff but he's just a memory now. I don't want to go out like that
If you’re job lead, you feeling ill at the end of the day, then you need to get the hell out of there. I was on the verge of killing myself because the harassment at my job was so bad never again will I ever let a job take away from my mental wellness.
I’m so glad you saved yourself. 💞And now I truly hope you can clearly see what a tragedy that would have been. Run towards the light and do what you can to create peace and joy in your life. Now that you know that feeling, please listen to your body when it tells you to run the other way 👍🏽
My non profit childhood studies company in Alameda CA, was the most racist toxic with a bully environment that I've ever been in. They lay me off and also mention I no longer fit into their culture. I lost my home and my self esteem 😢.
Ugh, sounds horrible. I hope you know even despite the losses you are better off outside of that environment. Your worth has nothing to do with how those people treated you. Don’t look back (unless you want to sue them). Keep moving forward away from that time and take better care of yourself than those people never could. I hope you focus on healing now and return to yourself.
If you mean the nonprofit world, yeah - an organization might have a great mission but that doesn’t necessarily mean that they live up to it. I saw multiple people come in with stars in their eyes only to be disillusioned within a few months.😪
@@RebloomRoom true. Happens all time. I'm listening to a podcast about the VP of Lincoln University in Missouri. She was an alum that took her own life.
@sharinaross1865 - Ooh, her story hurts my heart so much. This is exactly why we need to move work from the center of our lives and detach our sense of self worth from our titles. Just awful. Awful.
Humans apparently have to keep learning the same lessons over and over. Learning to transcend suffering is one of those hard lessons, it seems. If by “long term,” you mean “the rest of my life,” then yeah: It’s all a work in progress, now and forever.
I’ve been on my job for 35 years and out of the 35 I was able to work like a human for about 25 years. The older I got the more difficult it became to keep up with the changes on the job. my commute was 1 and half hours going and coming on a good day if the weather was bad could be much longer. I would tell myself only 3 things could happen I could get fired, retire or get let go with a generous severance package. I would pray night and day for the package I eventually got so tired and fed up that I went into my manager asked to be placed at the top of the list if a package became available. I knew I could have been fired just to keep me from getting the package but I was tired at this point and wanted out by any means necessary. Fast forward my manager sent me an IM and I was told my position was eliminated my last day will be 1/12 ! 🤗 Praise God I’m going out with the severance package which belongs to me .
Congratulations!! 🎉🍾 I hope you will rest and take the absolute best care of yourself as you recover from your work life. Your next chapter belongs to you! 👍🏽
@@RebloomRoom Thank you!!!🤗
They notified you via an instant message?! That’s unprofessional.
Did i write the first half of this comment?
Congratulations!!! But to notify you via IM is crazy. I'm happy that you out of there!!! 🎉🎉🎉
I resigned in November 2023.
I CAN BREATHE!!!!
GOD IS FAITHFUL ❤🙏🏽
Congratulations on saving yourself!👏🏽🥳🎉💃🏾
Time to allow the cosmic energy come in to heal black women across the planet.
Congratulations Cat! Just watching now, but I'm so glad you've left and I hope you're recovering. 💗
Thank you so much! I am super relieved to be done with the place. And you can take some of the credit for me quitting (along with Roshida)!
My job description was changed dramatically, was told to do work I HATED, felt no support from boss and HR. After a couple interactions with HR I knew I had to do something. So I hired a lawyer and in the end got a severance package. This allowed me some breathing room and I was able to figure out what I really wanted to do and eventually opened up my own business which I LOVE!
For me it was finding out what I didn't want versus what I did want and this helped bring clarity to the situation. This chaos led me to realizing my dream livelihood.
Smart, smart, smart! I’m glad you nipped that nonsense in the bud rather than waiting until you were too exhausted to fight back!✊🏾Congratulations on your business 😃
Congratulations! That relief you feel after quitting a stressful job is indescribable!
It really is! It was a gift I gave myself and I am so grateful. 👍🏽
Glad you left that horrible job. I left a toxic job 6 yrs ago. I HAD to GO. It was the coworkers more than the job. I knew I had savings to live on for a few months. Took on temp assignments for income. 2019, I got so I thought a stable job(non-temp), worked all through covid but was blindsided by layoff in 2022. Prior to that my boss & I asked the CEO what he was going to do with the office. No communication by CEO or HR. My boss & I knew something was up. Unfortunately, my boss passed away due to health issues & they laid me off the day of her wake/funeral. How heartless was that! I was angry with how they went about it than I was the layoff. It has been a struggle/stressful due to layoff, moving & job hunting. I took early retirement(semi-retired) but still need to work. I had a temp job this year. If I could temp & it was somewhat steady income, I would do it long term. I'm not interested in remote work or doing UA-cam content. I'm subscribed to your channel & will be watching some more vids soon.
That all sounds super stressful. It’s wild that employers are fine with firing people on the spot but expect employees to give them at least 2 weeks’ notice. I hope you can find a healthy work/life balance.
@@RebloomRoom It was super stressful. Its nothing I ever want to relive again. I'm moving towards peace & quiet with ease & setting boundaries over some recent family drama which has nothing to do with me. Grown folks need to handle their own business. I'm not about that life. 😏😉
Maybe become a transport driver or courier or delivering medical supplies or Amazon?
Uber and Lyft drivers are striking due to low pay and overcharging customers.
@@pearlrichardson4179the job that laid you off didn’t give you unemployment?
Here is what I have read. Employers want certain employees gone or a certain number of employees gone. Rather than lay off and deal with unemployment, the employer pushes the magic button that will make employees quit. Demanding a return to the office is one of the magic buttons.
Yep. I could feel that for sure. Our VP even said, “We expect there will be some attrition because of this.” I was thinking, “Where do I sign up?” 😂😂😂
Also, if you’ve accumulated those sick hours. THOSE ARE YOURS. You cannot abuse something that you rightfully earned.
I know, right!? I took my sick days and kept it moving. Because convincing the HR lady that she was wrong? Not my ministry! 🙃
Im so glad you left a difficult situation! I left my job last year and it was the BEST decision I ever made 🙏🏿❤️
Thank you. I'm so grateful to myself. It feels great to use that agency that we have to get out of situations that are not supporting our well-being.💝
1. Resources: Stephenie and Rashida and Exodus Summit. Saved money and payed off debt. 2. Told HR and boss that I am giving my notice (after 20+ years). Told workplace that I needed a break and want to do something different. Gave 2 months notice and was told by the boss that it wasn't enough and that I will never find another boss like him. From his lips to God's ears! I feel like I have release a 2 ton weight off of my shoulders.
“You’ll never have anyone as great as me” sounds like an abusive husband trying to get his spouse to stay. 🙃 He was lucky to have you on his staff and you know it! Two months was not enough? The audacity 😂 Congratulations!!!
@@RebloomRoom Thank you!
Wow! What an arrogant boss to say that to you! Glad you showed them!
I feel sorry for you young people… it’s a horrible world even in the private sector
😂 at “young.” Thank you for the compliment, I think 😂 But yeah, work can be rough. TBH, I’ve had a couple of truly amazing humans as managers, including my direct manager in the job I quit. Good managers do their best to protect their teams from nonsense as it comes from above. When their efforts are no longer successful, it’s time to walk….
You're dealing with people higher in the Dark Tetrad (narcissism, Machiavellianism, psychopathy, sadism) and I've dealt with this at a non-profit (USO). Narcissists are grandiose and feel entitled to people's time; Machiavellianism has to do with traits such as feigning humility, compassion, etc., but ultimately being highly manipulative and self-centered; and psychopathy has to do with being indifferent to the rights of others. All of these people can be sadistic wherein they get enjoyment out of messing with people. Part of why managers are insisting on people returning to the office now, I think in part comes down to them not being able to satiate their antisocial drives such as using subordinates for their narcissistic and sadistic supply. The Dark Triad has been on the rise, so remote work is surely going to be the best option, and on a permanent basis. Otherwise you're eventually going to run into manipulative people.
Whew - you went deep! But I get how positions where people can have power over others would attract people with personality disorders. And when there’s no power, they will attempt to twist a situation until they have some. I’ve definitely seen it, too.
This is so true but when oh when do the psychos realize that they need their jobs too? There’s always someone higher up in the food chain that can clip them at any given time. But the majority of situations I’ve witnessed were just like what Cat described. The bullying behavior went unchecked and the fallout was massive.
I've seen bullies float from one high-paying position to the next. They know what they're doing and aren't bothered by the fallout they leave behind. It's hard to watch.
@@RebloomRoom There's an interesting study pointing to companies hiring people higher in the Dark Triad on purpose as they are more prone towards, for instance, altering the company's numbers which permits them to beat out their competition. More moral people actually get pre-screened out which is why these people are so common in managerial positions.
Hi Kat I watch your channel. It has truly blessed my life. I want to first say Thank you for your journey. I am close to my quite date. I had this planned for a year. I am midlife and did not learn until now that I don't have to hurt to my core and be unhappy just to make a living. Better late than never. I am so proud of millennials -they quit in a minute if they are not happy or at least content. That is self care and self protection. Thank you Kat.
Thank you so much! I’m so glad you’re enjoying my videos; I hope they’re helping you bring more joy into your life. I’ve learned that when you realize that you’re on a wrong path, it’s best to stop walking and reassess. Change is hard, but worth the effort when happiness and self-fulfillment is the goal. Best of luck as you find your happy path!
I am 30 years old and I have quite 9 jobs so far because I refuse to be treated unfairly and do not believe I need stay in any job and be disrespected by anyone, you could be the boss.
"Toxic bully co-worker"
"HR and DEI depts are crap"
" fought over sick days"
"pulled out the rug on them instantly. Let go"
I thank God I've been a lifelong entrepenuer, and have never had to deal with the office / corp politics and issues
I know, right!? Office politics are a major waste of time and energy.🙄
I feel like I'm grieving with you as you fought to separate yourself from those abusive coworkers. xoxo ... the narcissism with those folks is palpable
Thank you so much, coach DonnaMarie! TBH, there were many kind, talented people on my team. But beyond my team, there were a few bad apples and an overall misalignment of the organization with its stated mission. It was a lot to process.
OUCH! This really hurts because it's so similar to how they're treating us who are melanated ( they have us driving 4 hours in one direction) vs. those who are unmyelinated ( they may have maybe 40 mins in one direction). Painful to watch. I guess this is PTSD, and I am still there.
I’m so sorry that you’re experiencing this, too. It’s awful. And as more of us speak up about it, we are recognizing how common this on-the-job harm really is. I hope you are able to find support as you create your way out.
You have amazing skills. IMO, you don't need to stay at any company if you're not happy. I'm sure multiple organizations would be over joyed to work with you. All the best to you in your next position.
Thanks so much! I appreciate the kind words. Luckily, I tend to consider these positions my “day jobs,” so I don’t put them at the center of my life. I have creative projects that light me up more than anybody’s j-o-b. 😊
I never answered your question but I was at a job as an HR person and was deeply stressed. I left that job with a savings. I asked a friend if I could stay at thier house for a few months for free and that helped making leaving that job more possible financially. It did take me 8 months (and a lot of stress) before I found another job, but during those 8 months I really regrounded myself in what kind of career I wanted to carve out.
Now, I am in the desired field but still wish I was remote fully particularly because of my sensory issues.
I deeply value travel so I know a fully remote gig would truly give me space to be wherever I’d like to be and not be bound to a certain location.
I am going to stay out where I am now as I rebuild my savings, and plan out what the next year will look like for me.
Yes! Good for you, pivoting and finding a way to make the changes you need. It’s great that you have a friend to stay with while you figure things out. If you keep making incremental improvements and stay open to change, you’ll keep bringing yourself closer to where you want to be. As they say, “If you’re going through a difficult time, keep going!”
Also, I wonder if working remotely could be a reasonable workplace accommodation for you as someone with sensory sensitivity. Worth looking into. 😊
Hey Cathy,
This is Nikita you mentored me when I was a young girl.
I also recently quiet my job over office bullying and low morality. Now trying to build something on my own terms away from capitalist standards.
Sadly a black just killed herself over an bullying situation such as this. New rules, standards and development much be reestablished to combat this type of treatment but if not don't stay in an toxic environment.
I see a lot more lawsuits developing in the near future.
Hi Nikita - Grrl! You’re all grown now!? That’s wild! Thank you for watching. I’m so sorry that you experienced bullying on the job. I know you worked hard to get there, and then you found yourself in an environment that did not deserve you. Ugh. Please don’t give up hope. There are a lot of us who are doing things differently and are determined to live life on our terms. Hugs to you, sis. 🥰
@RebloomRoom
Thank you so much, Cathy. Thank you for being a voice to others. So you live outside the country now. I want to move out of the country so badly, but it's a lot to learn and do.
I am still recovering from being at a stressful job. I still have PTSD. I have been away from that job for 11 years and when I hear the name, my mood changes.
I'm so sorry you experienced that. I really hope you are doing all you can to move past that experience. The negative effects that stress can have on our physical and mental health is REAL.💝
I moved 2000 miles away for a government job. Three months in I was burnt out. The pay, the amount of work, dealing with the patients, etc. I HATED that job! Often times I was left alone on the floor. They asked me to come back no thank you! Not worth the stress, weight gain which I working on getting off now. Peace is priceless!
Wow, in just three months! I’m sure it was a major disappointment after moving and uprooting for the job. I’m glad to hear that you’re out of there and that you’re taking care of yourself! This job stress can take so much out of us mentally and physically. 💝
awesome. i quit when i was 56. i had enough. i have other plans for myself and lots of options. well wishes for you.
Thanks, you too! 👍🏽
Congrats! Time to heal!
🙏🏾 Thank you! 🙏🏾
You're so welcome!@@RebloomRoom
Wow! Sounds just like my job and has a corrupt union and HR. Thinking about retiring next year at age 55
Ugh. As Marvin Gaye sang: It makes me wanna holler and throw up both my hands 😣
Congratulations Cat. Good on you for choosing yourself.
Thank you!!! Always best to bet on myself over all else.👍🏽
Congrats on making a decision that works for you. I recently retired, and I totally understand many of the points you made! You deserve flowers for allowing yourself every opportunity for peace and renewal. Be blessed.🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
Thank you so much. It took a long time to make the move, but I'm so glad I did 😊
Thank you for the honesty. I related to that beginning clip soooo much. I quit my job last week. I worked so hard to discover me in this phase of my life and in three short weeks, I started to lose myself again. I'm trusting God with my future, but it starts with NEVER abandoning myself for employment again.
It’s so rough! Feeling like you’re losing yourself or breaking a promise you made to yourself is such a horrible feeling. But you quit! I’m so glad you saved yourself, even tho it’s hard when you don’t know what’s next ❤️
I left the office life as soon as COVID-19 happened in 2020. I've not looked back since!
Smart move - congratulations! That was a good moment to walk away. The stress of that time was truly overwhelming; many still have not fully recovered emotionally from it. 😟
Congratulations!!! So happy for you Kat. I can totally identify with everything you are saying.
Thank you! I’m sorry you can identify with this. It’s all too common that we’re expected to put up with nonsense. No looking back for either of us. 👍🏽👍🏽
I have an EPIC quit story, I would love to tell it on your podcast and answer your questions. Too much to type. I was a cape crusader and I had never quit anything, but I changed for the better 😊.
Thank you for watching. So good to know you’ve burned the cape! Please message me on IG @rebloomroom 👍🏽
I am glad you found the courage to go and choose yourself! I cant talk too much about my current situation. Lets just say I am soaking up whatever knowledge I can and making connections while I kerp my resume updated.
The former workplace you described sounds like a modern day plantation. Frankly, I view corporate America and its equally messed up cousin, kon profit America, as such. They will put a lot of wotk on you, change things up, and target you as "trouble" if you don't smile while they do it
Sounds like you’re in the “moving in silence” phase. Always good to keep your resume and contacts fresh; updating it can remind you of your accomplishments and give you a nudge if there are skills you want to level up. The way I see it, work is a mutually beneficial agreement. Once it stops being so, it’s time for the agreement to end. 🤷🏾♀️ I’m hoping for a smooth and beneficial transition for you to a better situation, whatever that entails for you. 👍🏽
There comes a time in life when you have to choose yourself over everything else. Congratulations on choosing you. 🎉
Thank you. Letting go isn’t easy, even when it’s something that isn’t working. I’m so glad I did 😅
Congratulations!!! 🎊 No regrets or looking back. Enjoy!!
Absolutely, no regrets. Onward! 👍🏽
Congratulations on leaving your job I wish you all the best 🎉 New subbie!
Thank you so much!!
I am sick of raising other peoples kids and I have no kids.
Right!? Grownups should not be allowed to act like toddlers, let alone get paid for it.🙃
Woot woot Cat! 🎉 Super excited for you. Fantastic way to end your year!!! 💛
Thanks so much -- some things need to be left in 2023!
I know that’s right!
I just found your channel today. I find it interesting that I found it after I have decided to put in my 2 week notice. I decided that I am tired and too stressed, and cannot acheive my health goals while working 40 hours at a job I don't like. I'm subscribed now! Looking forward to finsing some peace.
Answering your questions at the end of the video!
- I have been studying and preparing to move into a more creative role, instead of the corporate world I've worked in for 10 years without much progress. Ive essentially decided to build my own business after improving throughout 2023.
- I originally planned to stay at my corporate job through June 2024, but after the week we had off for the holidays, I couldn't force myself to get excited and focused about the work again on Jan 3rd.
I told them that after having time off, I realized that I was more stressed than I thought and it was time for me to resign. I planned to end on the 12th but they convinced me to stay an extra week for training my team mates, etc.
My hubby and I have an emergency fund, and he is working as well. So I can give myself at least a month off and prep everything I need to dive into my creative endeavors!
Thank you for subscribing! So many of us are just plain tired 😪 I feel like it’s an epidemic. We get to the point where our feet just refuse to carry on that path any further. I’m glad you’re walking away and wish you ease and joy.
Yes to prioritizing yourself over these jobs! I'm so glad you listened to yourself. It can be scary, but it sounds like you have ideas for how to create a life that will sustain you in more ways than just financially. It's great you have a supportive partner, too!
Hmm. As a former journalist, I was just having this discussion with a buddy who wants to get back into a newsroom. I told him that the work was great, but the colleagues were not, and the atmosphere was toxic - ESPECIALLY for black people. I told him point blank: "There were managers and editors who were terrible, but HR ignored the issue, and those managers kept getting promoted."
And, for some reason, the worst bosses usually were these white women getting all "boss chic" with everyone, and were just mean.
It’s so annoying / disheartening / angering / demoralizing when bad behavior gets rewarded right in front of our eyes. Ugh. And unfortunately, in my experience bad managers (and HR directors) come in all colors, genders, shapes and sizes. It blows chunks. 😣
I left a job I worked a for 3 years because of continuous unfair treatment from my supervisor, that I reported to HR and the assistant General manager and they did not rectify the situations.
I simply email HR manager my resignation and also gave the HR assist a hard-copy. I stated that I am resigning for the poistion and the particular day. I definitely didn't need to say thanks or to give a resson because I have filed many complaints.
Good that you looked out for yourself. HR is there to protect the organization, not the employees. So no, HR doesn’t care about your reason. I left an association after 12 years and my “exit interview” consisted of some HR rando asking me “Are you sure?” 🙃 I’m hoping you’ve created a more peaceful life for yourself 💞
My morale stayed low at my old jobs. I refuse to
ever want to be in those places again.
I know what you mean 💯. I’m allergic to that feeling now. Can’t do it; won’t do it.
I'm so glad that you got free! Thanks for sharing with us ❤
Me, tooooo! Thank you for watching! 😁
I recently resigned from my job. Best thing I’ve ever done. Do I have a plan? Yes. Was I afraid to quit? Yes. Did I make the right choice? Yes and I’d do it again if needed. Initially I thought wow, I really like my job. I’m 28 years old and I worked with a group of ladies between the ages of 50-75. I thought this is great! Working with women that are wise and seasoned. I thought wow! I could learn so much from them. Only to realize these group of women reminded me of my high school years. They had cliques, they were petty, spoke over one another and had no respect for one another. They talked about each-other and they constantly pointed out each other flaws. They begin to do the same to me and I was not interested in this foolery. The culture was well, let’s just say lacking. I constantly felt out of place and undervalued. Upon me announcing my resignation I was asked if there was anything they could do to change my mind. I simply replied no. It was my time to go. Crazy part is when I first started this job I was often met with surprised faces and comments like, “ Oh wow you’re still here? You haven’t quit yet?” That should have been my red flag number 1. I really wanted this job to work but obviously god has other plans for me which is why when I left I was relieved and it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I started to feel the department begin doing things that would make any employee want to quit. It was their way of pushing me out. Either way I’m happy and I learned what I could while I was there after all I’m a millennial. We were born in a generation that had to and will always have to “just figure it out”. Thanks for sharing your story. It was very impactful. I’m currently taking a break from the corporate workplace. I’m intentionally not seeking work right now because I just need a break and time to realign myself with new goals and aspirations. I’m blessed enough to have savings put away to carry me through this period of my life.
I’m so glad you read the signs and made your move. So many stay and struggle, trying to improve a no-win situation. Your story reminds me of my previous job when younger staff would enter with such enthusiasm, and then they’d see how the sausage was made and run for the hills. You always know it’s time to leave when you start to envy the people who quit!
Congrats all the best in your new beginnings.
Thank you so much! 🤗
There is so much to say as a person who is going through the same things from HR crap to coming back to office, from bullying to low morale and high turnover rates... so thank you so much for sharing your story it means a lot for the people like i am who is still strugalling to make that decision. Im one step closer today
It really takes a toll. My energy was in survival mode, giving me a clear signal that the situation had devolved into one of harm. Listen to your body, gather your resources and be ready to move when it’s time. No apologies,
no explanations. It’s *your* life; you are in charge of it.✊🏾
CONGRATULATIONS Kat on liberating yourself and taking your power back!!!!! Please accept my apologies in advance if this request is coming too soon...are you available to be a Panelist on mt channel discussing the "whys" and "hows" in relation to leaving a toxic job?❤
Thank you so much, Kamani - It’s a huge relief. Hit me up on IG @rebloomroom about chatting on your channel 😀
Congrats Cat!!!!!! I clearly understand. Bullies at work.
Thank you!!! I hope you’re not currently dealing with bullies at work. It makes life so stressful all around.😔
Congratulations! I left my old job over a year ago due to the stress, the schedule and being overworked. I lived off of savings for a year and honestly I do not regret leaving!
It takes time for that toxicity and tension to leave our bodies. The stress of overworking takes a toll on us, so I’m so very glad you gave yourself the gift of leaving! And I hope you are taking the absolute best care of yourself daily. 💞
Good for you! I hope you feel free and know you made the right decision for YOU! That poor colleague who worked until her last days yeesh!!
I’m 💯 glad I left. It’s so easy to make work the center of your life. Even those who could easily retire (financially speaking) don’t know when to quit. 😟
OMG! Not the lady dying while WORKING?! UUGGGHHHHHHHH…even if it was her choice, it comes off horribly!
Yeah... that really hit me. She was a Black woman who had done a lot in her field, including mentoring and teaching. Her working until the day before she died made me so sad. It also made me realize what I'm not going to do.
Asé to that!!!
That would definitely stay with me. The sick thing is they clear out your desk and you are replaced like you don't matter. My ex husband's dad wouldn't stop working. I guess he wanted to still be needed or something. He semi retired and made those long commutes up until he keeled over one day. The company paid for the funeral and stuff but he's just a memory now. I don't want to go out like that
Yay!!! Good for you - I'm inspired by you. I too sing when I'm talking btw... :-)
😄 Thanks for watching!
Very informative great video thanks for the info it's needed out 👍 💯🤔
Thanks so much for watching! Yes, unfortunately, it’s something many of us need to hear.
If you’re job lead, you feeling ill at the end of the day, then you need to get the hell out of there. I was on the verge of killing myself because the harassment at my job was so bad never again will I ever let a job take away from my mental wellness.
I’m so glad you saved yourself. 💞And now I truly hope you can clearly see what a tragedy that would have been. Run towards the light and do what you can to create peace and joy in your life. Now that you know that feeling, please listen to your body when it tells you to run the other way 👍🏽
Brought tears to my eyes. So glad you saved yourself & found you! Blessings @RebloomRoom
Thank you so much, @demi5378 💝
My non profit childhood studies company in Alameda CA, was the most racist toxic with a bully environment that I've ever been in. They lay me off and also mention I no longer fit into their culture. I lost my home and my self esteem 😢.
Ugh, sounds horrible. I hope you know even despite the losses you are better off outside of that environment. Your worth has nothing to do with how those people treated you. Don’t look back (unless you want to sue them). Keep moving forward away from that time and take better care of yourself than those people never could. I hope you focus on healing now and return to yourself.
Sorry you lost your home & self esteem! Don't know how long ago this was, but hope things are looking up!❤
I know a few ppl that love it. But they left the school environment. So there is that. That environment has its own challenges.
If you mean the nonprofit world, yeah - an organization might have a great mission but that doesn’t necessarily mean that they live up to it. I saw multiple people come in with stars in their eyes only to be disillusioned within a few months.😪
@@RebloomRoom true. Happens all time. I'm listening to a podcast about the VP of Lincoln University in Missouri. She was an alum that took her own life.
@sharinaross1865 - Ooh, her story hurts my heart so much. This is exactly why we need to move work from the center of our lives and detach our sense of self worth from our titles. Just awful. Awful.
@@RebloomRoom God awful. She was so centered around her work she detailed it in a lengthy professional suicide note. Her family made it public.
Early days. Let's see how this turns out long term. Didn't Buddha say "You don't have to suffer" about 2,500 years ago?
Humans apparently have to keep learning the same lessons over and over. Learning to transcend suffering is one of those hard lessons, it seems. If by “long term,” you mean “the rest of my life,” then yeah: It’s all a work in progress, now and forever.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽❤
U retire? Right? I hope so. God bless u on your journey 🛣️.🚘
Not yet! I have a new gig and am working remotely for now. Thank you for watching😃
👏🏾🙏🏾❤🎉
😁🥳🥳😁
❤🎉
💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾