Trying to Conquer the Uninspired Feeling | Artist Vlog

Hello fellow artists, this is a vlog-type video about inspiration and motivation. We take a moment to ourselves to reflect on our stale situation (if that's where we're at) and try to organise the thoughts and process as a creative.
When do you struggle to find inspiration/motivation?
Thank you for being here,
Happy painting!
🎶**Music credits**🎶
Permafrost by Scott Buckley | [www.scottbuckley.com.au](www.scottbuckle...)
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Last And First Light by Scott Buckley | [www.scottbuckley.com.au](www.scottbuckle...)
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There Was A Time by Scott Buckley | [www.scottbuckley.com.au](www.scottbuckle...)
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Phase Shift by Scott Buckley | [www.scottbuckley.com.au](www.scottbuckle...)
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Reawakening by Scott Buckley | [www.scottbuckley.com.au](www.scottbuckle...)
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[@anacatarinaramos]

You get It, geez, we having the same thoughts
"I don't want to Paint, I don't want to think about painting"
In those days i also with this thing that I don't feel like painting/training, and just the simple thought of doing bores me(y'know I the same person from the color theory video😅, yeah, I still pretty much training it, but i like to change subjects thru months, and now i training more colors on human proportions such as Head, arm, feet, etc), In this year i really dedicating my whole art/creativity side with these trainings cuz i tired of feeling my technique is inferior compared to others and feeling like i'll never express my ideas the way I visualize them, I want to envolve, ugh, but june I almost trained nothing(the pride month wasnt much of mine month💦), because idk for some reason i just feel I don't want to and is for the same unmotivate thoughts as you
"Not being able to portray those ideas as best as I can or could", "i'm just afraid to execute poorly"
I will share a bit of mine journey/motivation for doing this trainings, but it may sound silly💦, it's all because i liked a character from a game(a woman character), and she was and is so important to me now, because thanks to her i healed a trauma that i had with another media/character that I really liked too, it's so silly, but i even get little emoticional when i say that💧, cuz it was a trauma/depression that lasted for so long, almost 4 years, and thanks to her i healing little by little, thanks to her i learning to enjoy things again, it sounds so crazy, well, i would love to draw her, i have my own style but i want to draw her as exactly as she look like(the game style), and the game where she belongs has a lot of those textures/painting vibe, so here's come the color theory training(that's why i saw your video😂)
But she's not basic woman character(she's kinda guyish but not in a butch or lesbian way(nothing against those)), it's just, she is not that, she's such a incredible balance that amazes me, she's very strong, but she's so cute too, she's very masculine, her mannerism is very masculine, her muscles are very specific, her vibe is very specific, and i want to draw and portray that well!, cuz sometimes has some people that draw her but do it so poorly, takes away her badaness, take away her guyish vibe and makes me so mad!!(I try very hard to avoid seeing those arts cuz i may die from disgust), and the public buy that, I want to....honor her somehow, but it gives kinda of pressure because the fact i really like her makes it difficult to me to fail with her cuz i have afraid of "not being able to portray as best i can or could", and this is both visually and vibe, so i have afraid of trying cuz when i feel I failed somehow i feel like a loser, and I think this fear comes because in the past i do failed sometimes(not with her but with other things that I draw) i hate some of mine older ideas, because i dont like the things that I invented, I don't like the way i portrayed the chatacters, etc, i don't want to be like that anymore, and i not like that anymore, but that shame gets stuck on me, cuz i be like "why you drew that in that way?" "How could you do that?", I don't want to be like that again, i try to bear with myself with the past is in the past, thats not you, i changing, what matters is me from now i portray things differently now, and that's it
"my work is not going get anywhere"
that line hits me so much, cuz as you can see, i doing all of this trainings and reseach because of THIS, but usually mine art don't get much attetion and admiration, and okay, okay,.....but those poorly execute things of her that i said DO GET💢🔥, and it's by more people,...(Sigh) Even The game site(thank god it's not even the worse, and it was just ONE art and i know the ones that run those profiles are not the ones that develop the game, so i try to don't take personally), but still, sometimes i be like "if i doing all of this for nothing?" " Why you working so hard for a thing that not even notices you?" "Nobody will Care", it's very unrealistic and crazy thoughts, but i sometimes think like that, and makes me sad
This character is mine big challenge now, i actually kinda doing great tbh, the trainings are really helping, i see the diference and it's not that's it's hard drawing the trainings, but for now i'm in a state where i don't feel motivated to...draw
For you questions
Where do you struggle to find inspiration/motivation?
When i'm with all of these thoughts that I mention It😅, mostly when i dissapointed with myself, feel like i can't get it done right, both creativity or real life chores/responsibility, in a nutshell in an anxious state
Where do you turn for ideas?/where do you turn for inspiration?
The examples you gave are so great, and i agree we being lazy when we think about inspiration, inspiration is in every thing, but i feel my inspirations comes a lot from talks/fun talks, i love joke around with my sister and share our ideas with each other(she is my identical twin sister so shes also very creativy, we share same braincells😂), i get a lot inspiration from the things i used to see/like as a kid, this year me and my sister are replaying our childhood videogames and it's being so healing cuz i noticing things i like and want to transmit/include in my art, my sister is kinda my inspiration too, she is also doing some training and its for the same reason as i(the woman character), and she is doing so great(trust me her trainings/drawings are amazing), she is working so hard, she drawing almost every day, see her working hard makes me want to work hard too, but i so tired...for some reason
What said in your brain Said "enough", I need to get this done?
What i think or try to think to get me out of this state, its that "Ana, you can create something wonderful, that will make you so happy, and will be amazing, in the end everything works out, it always work out, it's worth keep going", i try to punch my brain with this positive thinking to make me finally try to train
I like those reflection talks, cuz i feel sometimes artist don't talk much about that, cuz of this internet mask/pressure, of always looking prefessional, only being positive, it shows more a human and real part of us artists
After all of this you must think "god, this person needs therapy"I know, I know💦
The first time i saw this video i was lying on my bed, trying to medidate too, and laughing with your comments and being like "yeah, yeah, i feeling that😅"
I probably in this state because of some life chores reasons too, my sleep schedule is sucked, i in college so has a lot of pressure on doing things at the time(its a online college, so it all depends on me, i need to plan and watch the classes and get things done), my relantionship with my parents is a little...complicated sometimes, i'm bit bored, the house is a mess i feel like i not helping much, anxiety

[@CuriousOilPainter]

Hi Ana, good to see you back 😊
That’s nice to hear you’re still training. Everything is connected, if you’re changing subjects it’s ok, you’ll be able to apply what you learn from each subject to others.
I completely understand the comparison game, it’s a dangerous one that can lead to spirals on a bad day/mentality, and it’s exhausting. Though from what I read, it seems your sister becomes a sort of motivator to become better since you’re seeing her improve. I bet you’re improving too! Keep going. We’ll get to portray what we visualize the more we practice, not just with foundational training but ideas and painting what we want to paint.
I loved reading your journey and I completely feel it. It’s fascinating how a character (or game, movie, etc) can heal us. In terms of wanting to draw her exactly as she looks with the right vibe to honor her (and represent her as she is), I’m all for it.
I agree that what matters is where you are now with your skills and looking at how you drew/painted before as a stepping stone of where it took you. From what I understand, we think very alike and we’re very harsh on ourselves, we need to control the bully in us. The only way I’ve gotten better at that is by thinking: “Ok, you’ve learned something with this one, how can I change it to make it better.? The next painting will be better even if it’s just a 5% improvement”.
“Why you working so hard for a thing that not even notices you?” “Nobody will care”, it’s very unrealistic and crazy thoughts, but I sometimes think like that, and makes me sad”
^same girl, and I respond to that too with the previous little paragraph, and I’m gonna add a little something here: Stay for the love of the game, not the reward. The reward would be fantastic, but do you love to paint/draw? (do you love the process and seeing the final piece put together? Even if it’s shit, there’s some gratification from finishing a piece, like “finally, that’s done, I poured so much time and effort” and “that was fun, it’s not a great result, but it was fun”).
I’m happy to hear the training is working! And I love the energy you seem to have with your sister, the tone certainly changes in the writing.
Ana, I think we could all benefit from some therapy haha. I had a great time reading your thoughts, I really think we are similar, and the very last paragraph, I can relate to it too. I also have a lot of anxiety, and it’s taken me years to brighten up my thoughts. Spirals still happen, but it may now take a few months for one to occur, thankfully, no anxiety attacks though.
I’ll send you a hug, I hope it gets better and that you find a way to get back on the horse of drawing/painting. Trust me, it’s well worth it, especially when you are able to see an entire year’s worth of progress.