Exposing The Narcissist - Show People Who They Are! | Stephanie Lyn Coaching
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- Опубліковано 22 жов 2018
- #mentalhealth #stephanielyncoaching #narcissisticabuse #emotionalabuse #selflove
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The narcissist eventually exposes himself/herself better than anybody else can . So let them do it themselves . You can sit back , relax , have a popcorn and watch the show 😂
haris haneef sad part we end up leaving and don’t get to see it -- 😎😎
Gianna2 Bella we never get to see it 😩
I am now watching mine collapsing.
😂😂😂😂😂 you're 100% right!
That's is funny that they exposed themselves instead. Karma goes back to them oneday.
Stop caring about the narcissist. They have no significance or importance in your life. Leave them to worry about you and move on with your life.
Exactly Narc Survivor, THEY can go kick ROCKS for the rest of Their lives, Keep Moving Forward and dont look back EVER.
Narc Survivor Thank you. I really needed to hear that.😢 GOD bless you😇
You can’t do that cause they’ll emotionally gaslights you whenever you ask for money
You cannot move on. Even the people with the poorest boundaries need to love their emotionally abusing parents, regardless. Otherwise, you’d be troubled to have the bills pay, no more electricity in home, that is trouble.
@@bryceong7948 Who says they HAVE to ask for money, and who says you HAVE to love those who abuse us, and who says we HAVE to "be troubled" if we don't do as they say? It doesn't matter. Get out. That's how the narc controls people...stay with me or else. Sure, whatevs.
no reaction + no contact (if possible) + gray rock (if contact) = best revenge against any narcissist
Solid and Simple.!
self survival.!
Thank You, Nigel, Hunt and Steph.!.
MGB
Amen to that 😊
Nigel J completely agree ...just done this tactic ...don’t get me wrong it was tuff and difficult but I wanted the hurt and confusion to all stop ...4 months now and he’s gone to Australia .....!
Gray rocking is really a great option. It will really show the narcissist that you`re really disillusioned and don`t give a fuck any more. To them the effect might be even bigger than the No Contact. And you know what else? The narcissist won`t directly speak to you about «how you `ve changed» and soon they`re going to discard you, since gray rocking will be a clear message that they’re not ever getting any more supply for you, so why bother.
How do you not feel bad for them? It’s a person you love....
I have no desire to expose this person. He is very sick. I just want to move on with my life and become a better version of me.
Amen! God will help you when you ask Him! 😃💝
You're right. Let God deal with them.
I am sooo tired of feeling I am in a war:( I want peace, I want to feel free, safe and just be natural and me. This is a nightmare!
Luisa3413 ...I hear you. I so want the same. we have to move on.
Luisa3413 you’re not alone! I’m living a nightmare too. I too want peace
Luisa3413 ..it really does feel like a war...I’ve struggled with many changes in my life but these past 21 years of living with a passive aggressive cover narcissist has been worse than any other struggle I had in life..
Luisa3413 me too....
It is difficult but we have to move and leave them behind in the past where they belong . I have cut the cord with them permanently and I’m moving on .
The sad part is of being with a narcissist is that you question yourself „ if you are the narcissist „ they make you believe that you are this horrible, useless person and everything was your fault.
They will tell you the things you need to hear to stick around to turn around and devalue you the next day. It’s so exhausting it’s a one sided relationship and it’s lonely and empty. They will make you codependent that you won’t leave.
Or make us feel like horrible, useless people once they've discarded us
@@crencottrell7849 yes. I believed for the longest that it’s all my fault. I must do everything wrong. It’s like you need to read their minds to not being judged and when I mean reading their mind it’s like going of on very little thing you do. Like why did you use hairspray in the bathroom? you know I can’t inhale that shit. You know I don’t like to use those folks and than throwing a fit. Their are so many things to choose from it’s like being in one of those movies and you are a personal assistant to someone. don’t make a mistake or you are getting fired. ( you know the movies I’m talking about) but in our case we live/ lived with them and had to deal with them on a daily base. It’s walking on eggshells. I couldn’t be myself anymore.The fights of something so little was ridiculous and it’s hilarious when I look back now. And the worst part is if you tell someone those things what happened behind the scene it’s humiliating. The why’s of people asking you. Why didn’t you leave? The answer is they create a drama bond you feel like you just need to be better and it will be like the same when we met at the beginning I refer the honey moon phase with that.We are desperately waiting for this to return. But it never will and never did.
VERY WELL SAID
Wow, yes...
@SilkeEwald it's like they all went to school and all graduated with honors. I felt the same way. Even down to the point of them not hearing /listening. The arguments were just nasty; she'd come up with something to fight about and shame, and "cut my knees ;" she'd call me weak when I walked away as the fights got too nasty. Each time we fought just pushed me away more....
Sometimes you don't need to defend yourself as much as you think you do..
In my experience, it is very important to just walk away. Don’t try and defend yourself. They will expose themselves all by themselves. Don’t try and warn anyone. They won’t believe you. They might come back after the fact and thank you for trying to warn them but that will be after the damage has already been done to them.
Very well said! Thank you for your helpful insight.
Just walk away because you are still staying connected to them and wasting your energy and time unless they come to you asking questions about them .
I like they way you think.
So true
But the only kind thing is to try to warn people about them. They are the scum of the Earth, and will destroy life after life until they die.
Exposure as revenge WILL back fire; I learned this the hard way. 😢
Trying to expose a narcissist to their new supply will only strengthen their relationship and trauma bonding. The narc will amp up the love bombing and convince the new supply that you’re crazy. Your accusations will cause a narc injury and they will do whatever it takes to prove you wrong because they truly don’t believe they are as horrible as you depicted them.
Let it go and remember that the person you thought you were in love with was not really that person at all. It was all an act.
Recording or not, still no point in trying to expose them. I’m finally learning that compassion, empathy, and taking responsibility for my own part in this are the ways to heal and accept the situation for what it is. Stop feeling angry and revengeful for what the narc did to you (which by the way we choose what people do to us and how we react) and start feeling compassion for such a broken individual. In most cases, something deeply terrifying and painful occurred in their childhood that caused them to bury their inner child and protect themselves. They associate love with eventual pain and abandonment, therefore do whatever it takes to avoid that feeling ever again. They’ve been conditioned to do so and it’s nearly impossible for them to
Ever change. Be grateful for the level of change and self-awareness that you are capable of. They will never experience this. It’s sad really. 😢
I feel horrible in a sense that when letting go of the ex narc I dated, I mentioned to him, to put him down, that he would need to go for a woman who has no other options, because no sensible woman would take his temperament. And sadly 😔 post me (never married, single woman, no kids) he went for a young, single (divorced I believe) mother of two teenage children. And via a friend I found out she's having a child with him soon. I just feel so sad for that female that she doesn't realise she's in a toxic or bad relationship even though she's been through a divorce. They knew each other just for 2 or 3 months before getting engaged and registered.
I brought my narc DOWN! He lost me (his primary) and BOTH side chicks AND his job! 🙌🙌✌️✌️
Deb Piepenburg Wow. I hope this brings you some sort of peace and closure, even if it’s temporary. I personally think that getting him fired is stooping to his level, but I don’t know the whole situation. To each his own. 🤷🏻♀️
Micaela Micaela he was sleeping with his secretary. You know... sexual harassment laws ...
MOST of the time, the people in the Narcissist's circle WILL NOT believe you no matter what you say or show them! I walked away from mine and don't want anything to do with her - or the flying monkeys/supply that hangs around her. Everyone thinks she's so wonderful and will never believe anything that contradicts that. It's just the way it is.
Exactly! The best way to expose is to go no contact. They're not worth anything more than that...
Axess2084 very true
So true..I reacted to my covert narc sister in law, she used my reaction against me to play victim to her flying monkeys...they make me the scapegoat for all their bad behavior...i went no contact and now shes smearing me...ughhh.it never ends..does it end? I want to expose her but I have decided to just ignore it and her.
sue h - Yeah, the most recent one I got rid of plays the cute act. She streams on Twitch and acts overly cute to her orbiters/entourage. Just about everyone who figures her out leaves her behind. The ones that have remained are the people who probably know about her behavior and excuse it because of her looks and her act. But, it's the same 20-25 people with maybe 1 or 2 new ones every month or so while 1 or 2 disappear. She's always recycling friends and supply. Typical Narc. I was watching a video by TheRoyalWe where he said that the Narc's world is very, very small. There are so many decent people around the world to meet and be friends with. The Narc just lives in this tiny puddle while everyone else lives in this huge ocean. Truly a fool's paradise.
The thing I really had to accept is that the Narc doesn't give it a second thought when they discard or hurt you. They look at you like someone would look at a toaster. Once the toaster doesn't work anymore, a normal person would throw it away without thinking about it. That's the way the Narcs look at us: tools and appliances which serve the Narc. When they get rid of us, it's like someone putting a bag of trash on a curb to be taken to the dump. Do we think about that bag of trash? Nope. That's the way the Narc deals with discarding people. Same lack of thoughts and feelings. Leave Narcs behind in your life. They're scum. They're not worth our time and our care at all.
oh god, its unbelievable that people believe them - makes everything worse !!
When you’re shifting your mindset you’re leaving the narcissist’s world. It leads to his exposure very naturally. You just simply have nothing to say to him . You can’t even communicate with each other no more. You have to see them for who they are first, that is to say not only a jerk, it’s not that simple , but an insane individual whose behavior is inconsistent and reckless
Myriam Dimakopoulou 💯💯💯💯💯💯facts
Well said!
@Mary Carroll luckily your safe today and narcissism free. It took me 3 years to heal so my heart goes to you....
For me... I couldn’t care less about what he’s doing. I feel bad for the next girl but... I just can’t focus on him or what he’s doing anymore 🤷🏻♀️ I just am over it and have been for a while.
If one could just talk to the next like a normal grownup person. I've got a desire to at least warn of slippery ground in that sense. "Feel free to do what you want, just be a bit careful." But they wouldn't be able to listen and wouldn't believe you, especially as it comes from the ex. Probably that would make things worse. So leave it. Sometimes not helping is the best way to help.
Hi ,how would you like a real man ? I think your absolutely GORGEOUS
Sometimes their next victim is a narc, too, getting their karma
. Let them do what they do to them. They’ll destroy each other.
Best comment ever
Yes. About to see two malignant air insists manipulate each other...they will soon turn on each other. Neither has any idea how they are being played by the other. Cra cra
This information is absolutely spot on!
Not exposing my narcissist was the hardest thing I ever had to do but it worked in the end. Eventually, they exposed themselves through endless lies which eventually caught up with them. I even had their flying monkeys come and apologize to me.
It took 7 years of ignoring the smear campaign, replying with kind words or walking away with no reply, before people could eventually see how unhinged they were. Trust that the right people will eventually see through the lies and don't worry about the ones which don't.
Now my narc is friendless, with a bad reputation to boot. Not good when you live in a small town. They will undo themselves with time, just be patient, and stay classy xx
I refuse to even acknowledge these X's as my anyting. When we keep repeating my narcissist my ex my abuser, we need to start questioning why. It's quite narcissistic to think we have the right to call them ours the same way they had no right to own us.
Why expose anyone? Just walk away.
👏🏻👏🏻👍🏻♥️
I'll be listening to this repeatedly until this is a lifestyle. Awesome information ♥
It took one video for me to realize what was happening to me. The clarity I have now... I’m dumbfounded. So grateful for finding her!
I learnt this aftre I left my husband who I had to co-parent with. When he would try and pick a fight I would just say "Oh" and nothing more even if I was fuming inside. I would express my hurt about what he did with friends. Eventually I became empowered enough not to care.
Doing the same.
Same!😂
@ Nicole Dove Totally agree; me too!
I was so wounded at first I wanted to tell everyone what happened to me. Now I'm hearing from mutual friends who have discovered for themselves what she really is. Having these friends report their experience with the narc to me is more than enough gratification. Thanks!
I get this feeling SO BAD especially since the person still wont stop dragging my name through the mud. It's so difficult but I just keep reminding myself to be the better person. I just have to know in my heart that eventually they will show their true colors.
I’m right there with you!!
You can sue them for defamation
Taylor Duarte - be strong and listen to this podcast again and again. Pray. Be amongst good friends. Don’t worry what others say. You can’t control what they say or feel about you. You know the truth.
Love & hugs from Australia.
Francois x
@@bentleyhuang93144 You sure can sue them for defamation and I truly do encourage that if they are not using 25 different names and 25 different pen names. And he is multi-millionnaire. That is the situation I'm in.
The Wisdom Of The Ages - TIA Sue for sure play them at there own game 💥💥💥👍
For me, the pandemic was a relief because my narcissist had to leave me alone. I spent the time educating myself, and now I'm prepared to make my own future.
She will find another victim 😢
Same
Good for dude !!! I wish you well dude and stay bless !!!!!
👏🏻👍🏻✌🏻♥️
I am thankful to those that have affected me "negativity". They have become my greatest teachers.
Yea. Till you master your triggers it keeps irritating you
😃😃😃😃😃😃
I needed this reminder. The reminder that these behaviors are like toddler tantrums. I don't need to prove myself. Thank you.
Human Again Human you are so right they act like a spoiled brat , I wanted my divorce !!! I wanted my money!! I don’t care about my daughters they can figure it out .
Human Again I agree you can’t reason with them , they think you are taking advantage of them.
Their entire life is one prolonged tantrum.
When you have escaped a true narcissist in my opinion you want to disappear. I spent 30 years in hell I'm finally free and recovering I have ptsd and just hearing his name or a food he liked a place he liked triggered me .
I have ptsd as well from being married to a narcissist for 16yrs. The rewards have been great since I let it go. Those type of ppl would drive u to suicide.
O
@@ms.aquarius4854 They are the best at making ones death (that they truly caused/intended) look like a suicide.
@@intuitiveempress217 you're right because I asked him if he'd knew why if I had taken my own life and he said no. At that point I started to be disobedient as hell to my marriage and everything he had to say. I thought I stopped loving and caring for him in a matter of seconds. Even in those moments I waited for him to change. Being with a Narc is an emotional rollercoaster so glad I made it out.
@@ms.aquarius4854 So sad. I’m sorry you’ve had to endure what you have.
I wasted two years. Blind.
Rose colored glasses, so naive.
Then yes, it all starts being revealed.
It so maddening and does take a very serious toll on ones health in all shapes and forms.
In the brief two years I spent with the ex Narcissist Sociopath he truly drained me. Severely.
All while losing my beloved Father also.
I was drained. Here I am one year Narc free and barely able to walk the neighborhood I have to share with him as he resides within eyes view.
It’s hard to come and go daily knowing he sees and watches me. I get stronger daily and now am regaining strength to take back my power and not be in fear.
We will suffer from cptsd. Everyday is a new beginning.
I can’t imagine how you must feel after 16 years! 🤦♀️ Two was horrible for me.
I believe my narc is covert.
I wish you the very best.
Love, light and many blessings to you and all survivors. Men and women. 🤍🤍🤍
Stay strong on the self love and boundaries!
a million times this. I was in a relationship with a person who has borderline personality disorder. They destroyed me. I'm too nice. And a push over. They put on an extreme act and groomed others to like them. And then they subjected me to unrelenting emotional abuse throughout our relationship. I never even pursued this person to be in a relationship, they just chose me as a target for their sick twisted behavior. I wish I could expose them for the monster they are.
Emil Reiling I believe exposing their evil given the right place, the right time, and you know you are safe, by all means.. Most good people don’t want innocent others to endure the shit, abuse, obnoxious crap imaginable, because it’s wrong.. Evil is real, and true narcs are evil and don’t care.
People with BPD usually show everyone their true selves - but, most people, (especially their relatives) even though they witness the extreme behavior, ignore it, allow it, deny it, for many reasons. So exposing them might not work. People higher on the spectrum (like people who meet the standards for being diagnosed with BPD those with more severe BPD, vs people with only bpd traits) have very few friends, are usually not in a long term romantic relationships, and are not close to hardly anyone, what relationships they do have are strained & unhealthy, so people know, and can see that they're hard to get along with. But, every situation is different. It's important to think about others who might be present if exposing someone, because their behavior can cause damage to others, especially children, you don't want to put children in that situation, even if the child is used to seeing it, because it's extra damage that they don't need.
On the other hand, I know, from experience, that there's certain people who have not yet seen the person's true self, so they have no idea, and would benefit from being warned about the person with cluster B traits, so it might be better to say something to them to give them a reason to pay more attention, rather than do something to cause an injury to the abusive person, because that causes chaos and hurt. You can gently say something to the other person without being accusative, verbally abusive, gossipy, etc, just to provide them with a bit of suspicion so that they will see for themselves, I think that would be more effective than exposing the person, as, like I said, many people who know the abusive person has already seen their bad behavior - the problem is those people and why they explain it away. But then again, sometimes people need others who notice the bad behavior to confirm what they see, as many people who aren't emotionally literate aren't sure about what they see, and wonder if their own perception is faulty - it's confirming what they already have concerns about, and might be exactly what they need to make the decision to stay away and not be manipulated or abused by the other person.
I surround myself with positive people as close friends and family members. I treat myself the way I would treat a best friend. When I start feeling like I being mistreated I like to end the abuse quickly and start doing something else.
First sign I'm walking on eggshells I'm in control.
Great advice! I've spent too much time being reactive. No more!! I've fueled her enough. Finding my strength! Thank you Stephanie!
Oh my God where have you been all those years wow ...you know knowledge and education is the keys to open millions doors in this universe....narcs are dangerous
I worked with and dated a narc. I left the project I was working on with narc because people didn’t believe she was the problem. A year after I left, she was exposed and she effectively had to leave the project. It was very satisfying listening to people tell me I was right all along.
I left the relationship with the narc and cut all contact. I’ve never looked back. Narcs are possessed by demons. You are effectively fighting 2 people - the narc and the demon. Notice how in any confrontation they suddenly become energised and sound like they are controlled by a third person. You will never win against them no matter how rational you are so set your boundaries, cut all contact if possible or keep any contact to the bare minimum if you have arrangements like co parenting.
Chances are the narc has provoked you into doing something wrong and they will use it against you when arguments come up. They build a crime sheet against you, ready to remind you of them in any confrontation and why you are the crazy one. These are demonic people struggling to cope with an inner turmoil. Cut them loose if you can and move on.
Demons. You are fighting more than one. They congregate in packs ( inside your ex narc )
Jezebel, jealously, lying, etc
Jezebel is the most difficult and dangerous of them all.
But God!! Vengeance is mine says the Lord! He sits high but looks low. No sin goes unpunished.
Sometimes you find yourself in a situation where you have no one on your side but by sharing your story or identifying with another victim gives one the courage to relate their own experience and also to find the resources to move on.🙏
Just sit back .and watch the show . Don't give them your energy. Live your life people . Enjoy yourselves..
The narc I am married to exposed himself from ghosting me and immediately getting into a relationship. The new supply posted pictures of him and her on Facebook. I sat back and said nothing. The people that really cared about me has came back into my life because they see the narc for what he really is.
Exactly don’t fight the narcissist and just heal from this. Let them run the smear campaign. They are completely not relevant.
Expose them. My life's mission.
It took me a year after going "no contact" to process the initial narcissistic abuse and cease to care of whatever he is saying about me and about my decision to leave and to stay away. His manipulative tactics are very efficient for " conditioning" my siblings to isolate me. It works. I was expecting this to happen. To bad. I am moving on. Thank you for your video that help me to stand tall and stay strong. Namaste
I'm going on 2 weeks
Yes - "conditioning!"
21 days of lock down and I'm getting the silent treatment 😱but just smiling at this because I am working on myself 😜🌸
Hope your still doing well!
@Genevieve Rudman - yes this is the best decision you could make. I too took advantage of being stuck indoors in the lockdown to educate myself through UA-cam videos and slowly putting the pieces together you can quietly practice inner child healing, self-care, self-love and self integration.🙏
I'm over wanting to expose let the cards fall where they may.I feel numb wish him and this girl the best that's leave me alone
.
Expert advice! I have a boss who is a bully. Otherwise known as a mean girl. Very childish and constantly attacking me. We used to hang out on a personal level, then figured out her lifestyle choices weren't in line with mine so I stopped hanging out with her off- hours and now she's taking it out on me in the office. She spends an unbelievable amount of time trying to prove me to be incompetent. Since responding to her in the way you described here, I notice it really ticks her off. Do you really believe at some point others will see this? I'm hoping so, all I want to do is my job and go home at the end of the day. Thank you so much for this, I really needed to hear this today! xoxo C
Cara B I’m in a similar situation and I empathise with you. I find my boss’ narc abuse very triggering and I asked to switch departments. Until they can organize the switch I will do my best to follow advice in this video.
It works in the sense that they amp up their behaviour to get to the victim. And in the process they end up exposing themselves. But gathering some evidence against them doesn't hurt either.
I wish I would have found your series sooner. Between counseling, DVACK (Domestic violence advocates of central kansas) and your coaching, I feel like I am in a much better place. My narcissic abuser was able to play the system so well. He was even able to take our children from me based on unfounded allegations. I wasn't prepared to go toe to toe with him. I feel like I am getting prepared to finally take him back to court. Not based on him. Based on me and my own growth. Thank you so much!!!!!
This happened to me too and I'm so sorry for you and your children. I hope you can rescue them
I've had very similar happen to me, she also added a felony to my record. What a good wife of 20 years...
I hope everything worked out the best for you and your children
These are honestly brilliant psychological breakdowns. She is truly gifted in this field. A wealth of useful information is in this channel
Thank you so much!
I thought I was on my own with this problem..I wanted to tell everyone what he had done to me thank you so much Stephanie🧁
Your actions over time will prove who you are. The desire for revenge is a test from the universe. Just bear down and pass it. Narcissists are very miserable on the inside and their actions eventually give them away anyway, (unfortunately not necessarily on our timeline). It's best to work on loving and accepting yourself, dealing with any issues you may still have, and learning how to stop caring about what this person is up to. Keep away from them as much as life allows. Like Gandih said, "We must become the change we wish to see in the world." Keep the focus on yourself.
Omg thats Exactly what happened to me i finally saw my exes emotional immaturity it was like watching a 7yr old throw a tantrum like i stold his favorite toy ( me) that he never played with in the first place 👶
I’m a stress cleaner so here I am cleaning, glass of wine and listening to my free therapy sesh.
This is brilliant Stephanie. For 60 years I've been reacting to my mother's merry-go-round of seemingly supportive then abusive behaviour. The gaslighting, the deflecting and then the hoovering me back in with emotional blackmail. I am expecting to hear about her latest "trip to the hospital" any day now as a guilt tactic to diffuse and negate her recent vicious attack. I feel well armed to finally protect myself so thankyou a thousand times over.
This is such an important and well-put episode - tried to listen a few weeks ago but couldn't handle the truth of it but listened again and am glad I did. It's super crazy making to watch a toxic person do what they do and no one seem to see them for who they are. More important than seeing them exposed - it's best to walk in that peaceful state of mind.
OMG!!!! I literally thought i was going crazy. I literally was just able to break free from this type of person after two years of being blinded and then blind sighted in the end by "we should just be friends" one day after getting an apartment for us. The first video of yours i watched was mins ago "what they're saying about the break up" and I was like "WHHHAAAAATTTTT!!!!!" exactly to the T i was struggling to prove myself for who i really am after everyone around us was told so many lies and disgusting things about me not to mention i was a new place never been there never met the people i was around before. came back to my hometown and was still dealing with facebook posts from him trying to ruin me on my page when i started medical school. i was so damaged by it and it took me even deeper in the depression i was in. THANK YOU SO MUCH for posting these. I wasn't even looking for it and came across it because i was looking to heal and understand my inner being, and it brought me to your videos. I know now what I need to focus on. Thank you Thank you Thank you!!! I shared you video on facebook in hopes that it can help someone else.
I can feel the positivity n happiness you generate while u talk. N dt is most beautiful. I hv now met so many narcissists,all at different levels,n liars. So seeing u being so genuine n true n real is relieving. Great advice as always. I love d way u explain understanding both point of views. Thank u so much for this and all ur videos.
You are a godsend Stephanie! What a gift you are to share your knowledge. You've saved my life - THANK YOU.
A lot of things you talk about in this video holds true in my life, and your tips will help me manage. Thank you Stephanie!
My issue is that my mom, who’s the narcissist, tells my grandmother all of these terrible things that I do to her- which would usually have been reaction to her actions... she doesn’t tell her side or wrong doing, just mine.. and so I now can’t call my grandmother without her turning the conversation into solely her telling me that I should treat my mother better. I can’t even get a word in because my grandmother will go back and keep emphasizing that my mom is an amazing mom and I need to be nicer to her. So I stopped calling my grandmother. I tried to tell her what my mom was doing but she never took my size. So I just stopped calling her and it hurts because I miss my grandma. that’s why I tried to expose my mom to my grandma and my dad because my dad thinks she’s perfect (they’re not together but they’re still friends).
Try going low to limited contact with your Mom and perhaps record her behaviour or keep evidence. Note down things she says and does and the tricks she plays in a journal and keep it in a locked drawer or closet. And start enforcing boundaries slowly. The main and simplest and most basic boundary is that you want to be spoken to with respect and decency. This will trigger her but you have to be steadfast and indifferent in your stance. If she tries to get violent etc, record her. Having video evidence will help you a lot. And make her think twice before trying to physically assault you, if she does that. Just refuse to engage with her or help her if she does not follow the rules of speaking to you properly and being patient with you as you take out time to help her. Do this... It will frustrate her a lot, she will try to smear your name more, but eventually she'll do things which will show her in a bad light. But FIRST, one thing is important, make sure you build good relationships with extended family and family friends. With the good people among them. Make sure they know you for your good qualities. It may take some time... But you'll manage eventually.
Autumn, I hope things are going better for you now. If they aren't, just tell your grandma you really love her and want to have a good relationship with her! And that things aren't really the way they appear in the situation with your mom. And that you need your grandma's support for yourself. And when she tries telling you what a great mom you have again, point out that you know she is trying to help the situation. But it's not helping. At all. And if she wants to be in your life, she won't do it anymore
Autumn, I'm going to tell you a story I rarely share. When I was around 12, I broke down and told my grandma how horrible things were for me, begged her to let me live with her (they had money and could've made it happen) and begged her not to tell my mom that I had said anything. At least she kept her word on that. Or I'd be dead. Fast forward 3 years, my grandfather had a stroke, grandma came to live with us. One day after my mom lobbed a pot across the room at my grandma's head, and after my mom left for work, my grandma asked me if I remembered that day, the day I begged her to take me.....she told me it was so much worse than she couldve ever imagined. And my 85 year old grandma n me sat on the floor and cried together afterwards. And its ok with me if you want to show your grandma my comment. Maybe that will help her understand
Oh my goodness Stephanie, this video is everything!!! This is exactly where I'm at right now. I really appreciate your clarity and compassion. Thank you so much!! 🙋
Very wise and excellent advice.. Thanks so much!
This is now ... To a family member I have to apply all you say ! Thank you , I see clear the chain of narcs ... mother , ex husband, 3 ex boyfriends . I get to work with the understanding the cruelty of this family (yes they are family people ) helps me to shift all the care to MYSELF ! Again I can't thank you enough 💜
Wow Simple and deep. I loved the part when you said they throw tantrums like child because of not getting the reaction they want from us. That's the reply I got from you for my comment in your video about insecured people. You said to me that " There you go! You are aware of this behaviour and handling it in healthy way. It's like child wanting attention except it's a grown adult". Now I'm confident that I am responding and not reacting to narcissistic people. And I feel proud and happy. Thanks Stephanie for the wonderful video. Keep up the good work 👍
I'm at a really good stage where listening to this is finally sinking in! I'm also ready to start trying some tactics to moderate my response and try setting better boundaries. Staying calm during a barrage is sometimes difficult. It rattles your nerves.
I’ve been listening to your videos for 2+ years now and every single one of them I always feel like you’re speaking exactly to me and my situation. I’ve listen to a lot of others about NPD/Narcissism, but yours have help me through my ordeal the most. (My guess...we’ve been thru the exact same or similar situation w/ our ex’s.☺️) Thank you Stephanie for your knowledge about Narcissism, your helpfulness through the healing journey, & just your overall directness/professionalism (etc) on this subject. The way you present the material in each video is 2nd to none. If you’re ever in the Phx, AZ area, would love to hear you speak in-person (I know, NOT your favorite thing right 😨😱) about this subject (i.e. Narcissism & all the sub-topics you speak in your videos about). Thank you again! Keep these great videos coming! They are helping soooo many of us.
I have been listening to dozens and dozens of podcasts and videos regarding narcissism and toxic relationships because I am finally exiting a 10 year abusive relationship. This by far gave me the most insight and I can’t thank you enough. 😊
I feel it's a good thing to expose him, not my ego. To me I'm helping others, especially women with children! I wish to help the world and if I can stop him from destroying another woman and her childs life, I'll do it! I miss carried my ex's kid (the abusive narcissist) and he didn't care for nothing. No one's life should be emotionally destroyed, Especially our future generations!
An excellent, superior coaching session! I give this one FIVE STARS ***** I did this 25 years ago, disconnected and began making a new life which got better, and better. I kept quiet and put my face to the wind and everything changed for me. Naturally, it was painful. There was grief and uncertainty. It felt scary to leave. I knew I would be viewed as the wolf. I lost her family. But I called really good things into my life and began to share in communities with peace and a continuing sense of personal growth and refinement in my trade and talents.
VERY well stated! Makes me happy to know you get the bigger scale of life. We all have very different paths and I think "narcissisim and codependency" is a total grey area. We all are both depending on ppl and situation. I really like what you have to say more than anyone else so far. Thank you for doing your thing ❤!
The power of this freedom is intoxicating! Thank you soooo much for this channel, it is literally life saving! Praise GOD
THANK U! THANK U! THANK U! I CANNOT SAY IT ENOUGH Just watching your videos are making me into a better person day by day, I am so grateful for you!
Love this video! I so needed to hear all this today. Thanks Steph 🙏🏼
You are helping me get through this horrible stage of my life 😘
This has literally been my entire 9 year marriage. It wasn't until 2018 Dec. That the veil was lifted. So, I started the healing process for MYSELF! And I'm confident that I am ready to respond instead react! This video was the confirmation I was looking for! Thank you for this.
I came across your channel during as I heal. You validated what I experienced. I was subjected to several cycles of rage which I let him get away with because I was so vulnerable at the time when we met.
As I worked on my emotional health, self worth, self esteem, and educating my self in covert narcissism, I finally released him with no reaction. Thank you for the videos. They help strengthen me.
thank you so much. I’m in cero contact right now. A couple of days ago I received an email from this guy telling me that he misses my “stupid love”. It is so much easier to see the abuse now and not wanting to respond to that anymore is one of my best gifts. I developed a new emotional skill. Thanks for helping us to see the way.
Wow! Its an exhaustive process to recover now. I have been working on myself now for a year and have changed the dance that has changed everything in my life. Anyone involved with my covert narcissistic wife has seen me change.
By me changing, I changed the dance. I have had a lot of pushback as a result. The flying monkeys are now dropping off to the wayside.
I’m getting better and better.
I found that the three narcissist in my life are no longer comfortable in my life. Not an easy road, but I’m getting there and recovering.
The most difficult narcissist to let go of is my twin brother; I never realized he was one, until recently. Since my covert narcissist left my life; he stepped into her place and took over. His behavior is exactly the same. This explains how I was prepared to let the narcissist in my life and marry her for 32 years. My twin was one, and I never knew it until now. With him I experience de’javu constantly. I’m going no contact.
This has been the hardest time of my life. My biggest support in my divorce should be my brother; instead he has brought nothing, but pain in my recovery after my break up with my wife.
The experience sucks!!!!
Love this stuff Stephanie! I just went through some abuse and I am super grateful for the healing process
I am so grateful to be in a space of not needing to know what the hell they are up to any longer. They can do / say what they want to. The truth set me free
I just want to say, thank you. I needed to hear this right now. I am dealing with this now, for the first time, and feel my life has been destroyed by this person. I am sitting here listening to you describe my right now...
This is brilliant advice! Thank you! So glad to find your channel. God bless you for imparting your wisdom to those who are in need. 👌👍👏
Thank you for sharing this Steph!
I have read about being centered in one's self through Buddhist books. But never knew how and when to apply it in real life. This message you shared represents the bridge missing! 😁
Wow! This is empowering insight!!!!! I’ve listened to much of your stuff lately. This is the most helpful to my abusive relationship. I am setting boundaries. If she doesn’t get help. I’m leaving. Despite the fact that we have kids. She knows that. I’m being tested. I’m getting healthy. Either she joins me, or gets left behind...
This woman got my subscription, no cap! She's incredibly intelligent, perceptive, and the way in which she can take complex clinical analysis and have her point completely understood just impresses me so much! If you're trying to get to a place of identifying what exactly it is that you're experiencing, or even if you have some knowledge of this sort of personality disorder, you'll find new ways of coping with these difficult types. Invaluable to all. Highly recommended. Thank you. I'm navigating my boat straight through the gates of Hades and I've been making some mistakes. You bring clarity to the chaos! I'm grateful for this channel!!!❤️
This is exactly what I needed to hear. I will continue to educate myself. Thank you so much.
💖Thank you. It sure takes a long time to get over the abuse but I am progressing. It didn't matter if I reacted or not, I would lock myself in a room for hours (between 4 and 8 or more hours) and the raging degrading verbal abuse would loudly continue as he paced outside the door where I was. Being a handicapped woman with a lung cancer diagnoses also did not stop this twisted person from his need to abuse woman. I knew it wasn't me or my fault no matter what he said because he was projecting all his character flaws onto me and so many of his insults were very derogatory and chauvanistic towards women.
Diana Boughner hugs..I went through brain tumor and surgery with the nut job. they are evil ! lo life's!
Diana, Thank you for sharing your story.
Keep strong, there are still good people out there but becareful with trust. Have faith in the word of god. Much love Ricardo
Lost 2 jobs with what she said.
I Was made a bad guy!! I couldn’t let go of the fact she ruined my retirement. I was a cop!
I had no idea what she was capable of!!!!!
"You have to know what they're capable of." That was the game-changer for me in terms of understanding what kind of person my ex was. Hard to accept that reality, but when you do, you are dealing from a foundation of reality, and it makes it easier to stop giving them the benefit of the doubt.
Give this lovely genius a Ted Talk
All three of my children do not see her at all. They are being thoroughly manipulated to see me as “The Villain.”
This is painful. I’m losing my entire family at this stage. It sucks, but I finding getting rid of the toxic experience....its a good idea.
I tried reaching out to them; they attack every time. So its pointless to engage them.
Finally accepting that I am losing them. So be it. I’m finally accepting this as the reality to face finally.
Thanks!
Dear sister. My narc husband has done the same thing to me telling lies to my children and wanting them to have no contact with me. I went no contact and slowly they are coming back. I am going through divorce after 40years of marriage which was very toxic. I wish i had left him years ago.Please pray for me especially in financial settlement he feels i deserve nothing. I gave him five beautiful daughters and done all the hard work he just financially supported me. He never respected me i was just a slave..
Exact same situation. Heartbreaking
Absolutely! I had to start with figuring out who I am. Taking time to look within and look at my childhood, past relationships, everything. I had to see my part. Own my part, learn from it, then I had to forgive in order to finally let go. By that time, I didn't need to expose anyone. It is freedom going through this process although hard, but worth it. And if I had not gone through past relationships ect, I wouldn't be on my journey today. Praying for all going through this. It gets better. Learn who you are, heal, love who God created you to be. God Bless!😊
Im now one year in therapy and youtube coaching,i ve learned so much of this 5,5 year long narcistic abusive love relation.I ve been though real hell,oh my gosh,but now i know about narcissism. 3 days ago I broke up and disengaged,said I need rest,peace and serenity.Still i know the next step is to care about me,reinforce myself and come back to life.Your video is great
Excellent video, I will watch this again, it was like having a wise friend give me a pep talk.
You are awesome Stephanie! Thank you so much for the great insight 🙂
Steph, your videos are GOLD amd ai love how they pop up on my timeline whenever I need them.
Thank you for all that you do. You are truely walking in your purpose❤❤
The Absolute BEST tips EVER!! This segment has true healing power in it.🙏🏾
This podcast was excellant, thank you so much for posting
Great content. I needed to hear this today bc it improved my strength. Thank you!!
Greatest teachers in the world!I just love narcs and their abusive power and control tactics.
When you talk to yourself and mentioned your name, i felt like you talked straight to me..my name is Stephanie too...thank you Steph...i feel sad but relieved at the same time..i want to help them become better but they don't like to improve!
Powerful, I wish more men would take the time to understand that you can be a victim of this, and as I have learned while the DECEPTION of their "DOUBLE LIFE" will hurt. My instincts told me something was off, but deflection was played well. There was some positive outcomes, and some of the positive support was beneficial to my life. The ending is the hardest, the want to remain friends, the reminder of forgiveness. I know easier said than done, but you must FORGIVE them, NOT FORGET them, as the lessons from your experience will allow you to move on. Its been a long few months but healing takes time.
Thank you for another Awesome video!! I NEED to hear this on REPEAT 😍😍😍😍
This is so true - it makes no sense trying to expose them because they will say you are the one who is narcissistic. Eventually if people get to know them long enough they will find out for themselves, especially if the relationship grows closer, e.g. marriage, because the real person ALWAYS comes out in that setting.
I look at it as training for when the next Narc you meet can’t love bomb you into another relationship. A really respectful person will respect you and your boundaries! I’m on my fourth marriage and discovered I did it again! I’ve been listening to Ross and I’m ready to do the inner child healing. Thank you so much Stephanie for these video’s because my husband has me financially strapped-unfortunately I have to accept part responsibility for allowing him to handle my finances. I’m taking back my power.
So true. Everyone just sees their good nature but that was not the case for me. It is frustrating to say the least
This was so needed. I have educated myself but your videos really help
I'm graduated 🎓 on these subjects!!!!! Narcs are toxic and dangerous .....
11 years in a lesbian relationship, helped me raise my 3 boys and with in weeks, found out she was cheating and using the "love" word already, making me sell my home and find a place for my children and I. She completely abandoned the situation with zero closure. From my understanding it is a pattern for this particular person.... it is so hard for me to keep it all in. We have mostly mutual friends making it a very awkward situation. I have been watching your videos and they give me so much clarity but, the pain is indescribable
Always worth my time to listen. This just made me feel so much better about this process. Its rough..
Thanks so much for these informative sessions!
new sub☺️ i’ll be listening to your podcasts as well. you’re awesome!
You said it so right. One has to stand firm for your needs for your rights for your truths. Rehearse in front of the mirror what you are going to say and be firm and don't budge otherwise you will lose yourself in their false tactics.🙏
Stephanie, thank you so much for this video.🙏 I’ve just left my abusive husband of 31 years and am in the eye of the smear campaign storm. I needed to hear this so badly as my self esteem has been totally shattered. I had no idea what I needed to do to propel myself out of this nightmare and emotionally cope throughout this divorce process.