“HEALTHY COMMUNICATION IS UNCOMFORTABLE” (EP. 73)

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  • Опубліковано 11 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 250

  • @heyerikan
    @heyerikan Рік тому +346

    "when you don't communicate, the devil narrates" - Jalon

    • @veronicaatkins4417
      @veronicaatkins4417 Рік тому +4

      I like that statement it’s so true

    • @justdevy02
      @justdevy02 Рік тому +11

      Snaps in poetry fingers

    • @keishafam02
      @keishafam02 Рік тому +1

      Heavy, right?

    • @heyerikan
      @heyerikan Рік тому

      @@keishafam02 too good.

    • @MylezNevison
      @MylezNevison Рік тому +13

      @@heyerikan Great quote but I would word it "the Ego Narrates" not "the Devil"... saying "the devil narrates" externalises and takes responsibility away from us (the one's thinking up those narratives based on OUR ego's insecurities/weakness).

  • @DivineSoulAngel
    @DivineSoulAngel Рік тому +211

    To witness these Black men have this level of conversation is sooo healing and soo nourishing to my soul. I appreciate this conversation and I´m convinced healthy relationships can and will exist among Black women and men. I envision this level of emotional & spiritual intimacy for myself and my future partner. Amen, Ase & so it is.

  • @DoItAgainA
    @DoItAgainA Рік тому +172

    This podcast is so powerful because y’all are actively modeling better behaviors

  • @Juiceman390
    @Juiceman390 Рік тому +10

    I’m 24 and I’m getting married next month, I’ve never really had positive males in my life to each me how to be a healthy man for my wife but I just wanted to thank the fuck out of y’all for helping me be a better man for the woman I love

  • @autumhernandez2045
    @autumhernandez2045 Рік тому +73

    The part of knowing y’all planning for a lifetime of figuring it out and not having to know it all right then and there but bringing awareness to it. That part 👌🏽

  • @Nitra813
    @Nitra813 Рік тому +38

    That mind connection he spoke about is called INTIMACY ❤ I tell my husband the same thing after a deep healthy conversation. It’s very stimulating. I feel connected to him on a mind level, not just physical.

  • @Jess2b_fit
    @Jess2b_fit Рік тому +21

    Also I hear what you’re saying as far as creating a safe space for your partner to be vulnerable.
    But it’s also crucial to understand that sometimes.. no matter how safe the space you create, that person has trauma from their past that physically won’t allow them to open up and that requires work far beyond your scope as a partner. Jalon has clearly come to a place in his life where he has done the work to be able to correlate his present day feelings with childhood impact.
    The responsibility is on the individual to heal.

  • @Nnataliecastro
    @Nnataliecastro Рік тому +52

    10 mins in & I have to rewatch the episode, to absorb all the information you guys put out there! The execution in this episode is unique & depth of real life scenarios. 20/10!!

  • @la3380
    @la3380 Рік тому +31

    I am starting a new relationship with a true man and we had a misunderstanding but were able to be vulnerable and talk and resolve things 🥲 I’m learning to listen as a women without being defensive. That comes from my parents too accusing me of being a bad child all the time but I was able to be aware of it and he was able to lead and today I feel amazing and boom this video comes out. So glad to be with a real man, I feel he is it ❤❤

    • @NiceAndNeatThePodcast
      @NiceAndNeatThePodcast  Рік тому +6

      It’s important that you know where the root of your defensiveness comes from. Give yourself some credit for that! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

  • @christylexo4763
    @christylexo4763 Рік тому +10

    When Omar started talking about the conversation between him and his girl while they were out to dinner and she equated the conversation to sex is the level of intimacy that I desire in my relationship!!! I love this podcast and the influence that you men are putting out especially for the men out here that have difficulty being vulnerable. I think that especially men they equate feeling and vulnerability to being soft and feminine which is not the case. Great job gentlemen with this one !!

    • @GonzalezAGeorge
      @GonzalezAGeorge Рік тому

      Cool song who is the artist and what’s it called?

  • @dashseck7595
    @dashseck7595 Рік тому +2

    I had a MENTAL ORGASM watching these MEN sharpen each other's swords !!! I know men TWICE their age that could NEVER engage in such conversations. Shout out to them, their parents , their women, and whomever else is responsible for this level of maturity and delicious intellect!!! I'm definitely a fan now ! Keep up the great content !!! I keep telling my friends, there are some still left LOL😂

  • @jayg619
    @jayg619 Рік тому +11

    Very similar to the book The Five Love Languages there is one called The Five Apology Languages. It’s a good read to further build that communication bond with your partner.

  • @kdlewis7355
    @kdlewis7355 Рік тому +29

    I really appreciate the vulnerability and openness that you Kings demonstrate. A great example for other Black Males to see, keep up the good work.

  • @AikiraBeats
    @AikiraBeats Рік тому +4

    Learning how to apologize is one of my biggest struggles. This is a conversation that needs a part two.

  • @marybutidk
    @marybutidk Рік тому +4

    I’m not a Scorpio but I’m with Jalon on getting to the bottom of things. I LOVE to ask why and ask questions to get a better understanding of my partner and other people I care about.
    When he broke down the clam thing!!! Man!! I was THERE WITH YOU!!! Like! Yes!! I love to communicate and j love to get deep with my person, that helps me love them better, to feed into them differently, alladat good shit.
    I really enjoy listening to y’all ♥️

  • @vontressacounts6153
    @vontressacounts6153 Рік тому +14

    I LOOOVE this podcast! So good to see healthy communication modeled! Another thing to be careful of is facial expressions...that can definitely shut a person down when communicating!

  • @instrinsiclove
    @instrinsiclove Рік тому +17

    This conversation really makes me do some internal reflection as to how emotional availability properly displays for a woman. I definitely battle with attracting emotional available men, and I recognize that it’s based upon my internal struggles with vulnerability. I really wonder what that SHOULD look like, especially in consideration of healthy communication. Anyway, great episode Kings! Adore y’all 🥰🥃

  • @chiefafam
    @chiefafam Рік тому +2

    Man certain people have a defense mechanism to not even want to comprehend. No matter how well you explain something…

  • @KeyshasCorner
    @KeyshasCorner Рік тому +12

    This was an amazing conversation I never leave a comment but I had to give you your props today not to say that your other episodes aren't fire as well but this is really amazing it was very needed and I just love how you guys did and articulate the things that sometimes we don't know how to say but we know we're feeling it thank you so much and keep up the good work and you gentlemen are really helping a lot of individuals and couples that are really active and wanting to better themselves in every area of their lives.

    • @NiceAndNeatThePodcast
      @NiceAndNeatThePodcast  Рік тому +5

      That is our mission! Bridging the gap between men and women through healthy conversations like this one. 🥃🥃🥃

  • @valentinewairimu3351
    @valentinewairimu3351 Рік тому +9

    The spiritual and emotional maturity here is real. Love from GA❤

  • @tundeoshikoya131
    @tundeoshikoya131 Рік тому +24

    Mannnnnn. Y’all were in your bag this episode! So many gems. Heartfelt thank you for this one.

  • @TheAmhyacinth
    @TheAmhyacinth Рік тому +35

    If it’s one thing Jalon gunna do is drop a Gem!
    When you don’t communicate, the devil narrates 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

    • @nobe41548
      @nobe41548 Рік тому

      Wow... that's the EXACT THING MY WIFE TELLS ME ALL THE TIME!!! Hearing it come from somewhere else really made me realize how much truth is in it. Thank you for opening my eyes❤🙏

  • @Chasing_Destiny
    @Chasing_Destiny Рік тому +3

    This is my first time watching you guys and I am blown away. This is so great, to see black men use their voice and hear you guys talk about your relationship, I will be listening to more episodes!

  • @ajprescod09
    @ajprescod09 Рік тому +3

    Idk where I been on this podcast but I found it today & im 4 episodes in ❤ it’s so breath taking to hear young men be so open honest vulnerable about real life issues

  • @AngelaElikya
    @AngelaElikya Рік тому +15

    Jalon always delivers I appreciate him so much❤

  • @LofiforLife
    @LofiforLife 9 місяців тому +1

    Love this !!! I hope it is a life saver in my soon to be marriage . 😩 Pray for me y’all! I am taking notes 📝 and will apply these ASAP. Love this !!!

  • @tracysimon7972
    @tracysimon7972 Рік тому

    It is soo refreshing to see black men being open and vulnerable in these kinds of spaces. The walls being torn down and men are willing to have these conversations that are IMPERATIVE for relationships to thrive. You have a new subscriber

  • @evolutionofarose
    @evolutionofarose Рік тому +4

    Whew, this was a really GOOD one! I love how each of you take the time out to reflect and add your personal experiences to the topic. I also love how Omar talks about him vs. the the ego because the ego is truly what hinders us from operating out of love. The ego wants us to believe everything is an attack, but with those constant self check-ins and reflections, we get better at being in control of our reactions and allow ourselves to be more vulnerable. It's also us vs. our ego.

  • @kettyirakoze4635
    @kettyirakoze4635 Рік тому +7

    Where do men like these be at??👀 coz damn y’all are just going straight to the point!!!

  • @Somuchtotalkabout
    @Somuchtotalkabout Рік тому +1

    When someone you love tells you about yourself it is the most uncomfortable feeling ever. In some ways it feels embarrassing to that person especially if you strive to be the best person you can be. But in the long run it makes you better as a person and partner.

  • @kalidedan
    @kalidedan Рік тому

    So so happy I found this podcast with intelligent black men . Continue making the world a better place

  • @CourtneyWilkerson-qp9zt
    @CourtneyWilkerson-qp9zt Рік тому

    Environmental influence plays an imperative role in the disconnect of relationships... so I feel that checking in and reassuring the key elements for the foundation are very important to ensure that their is no room for misunderstanding or assumptions to manifest the destruction of communication

  • @mindfullnessmindset8746
    @mindfullnessmindset8746 Рік тому +1

    One of the best podcast episodes on relationships I’ve ever listened to!!!! Its so refreshing to hear that others struggle in their relationship but also that there are others who have the tools to properly navigate it in a healthy way.

  • @WhenSaraiSpeaksUListen
    @WhenSaraiSpeaksUListen Рік тому +4

    Y’all are just SPOT on. I truly love this podcast.

  • @pskaylz
    @pskaylz Рік тому +1

    Really enjoyed this convo! Tbh, this is the first time I have heard a male led podcast touch basis on such an essential topic and with such maturity. Definitely gives me hope as a woman to know this this caliber of guys exist in this generation. You guys are dope! Definitely about to subscribe!

  • @MarissaontheMAP
    @MarissaontheMAP Рік тому

    Listened to this episode at the perfect time. Some things they said were literally things my therapist and I talked about TUH-DAY! lol I had a recent breakthrough when talking to a good friend and in therapy where I realized that I'm avoidant when it comes to conflict. But I'm working on it 🙌🏽 Until about a year ago I would completely avoiding conflict/tough conversations. Over this past year I would avoid things in the heat of the moment and tell myself "I just need time to get my emotions regulated and my thoughts together", and sometimes it led to complete avoidance, other times it led to initiating the hard conversation. I'm looking forward to getting better at this and handling conflict when it happens, versus the opposite. Emotional regulation is KEY!
    I also realized (because of a post I saw) that it's hard for me to communicate my needs/my thoughts/my emotions because of past traumas where I was gaslit, betrayed, not taken seriously, or flat out ignored. I would always turn inward and think that I was the problem, and sometimes I was, but other times it was the other person and I just couldn't see it or didn't want to place blame on them because I'm used to people not taking accountability. I was overly self-accountable 🤦🏽‍♀ lol We getting better though!!
    Lowkey new to this podcast but I love everything I've heard so far. Yall hear it all the time i'm sure, but this is needed! And its so refreshing to see Black men having these convos and doing the work 🫶🏽

  • @LaKae444
    @LaKae444 Рік тому +6

    I luv that you guys provided practical and easily implementable tips. More of that please 🖤

  • @venomx77
    @venomx77 Рік тому

    I'm going through it with my lady and this video popped up. y'all are saying good stuff. I appreciate it.
    I feel like it gets so hard when you feel like the other needs to improve and they feel like you need to improve... But I am the man. I need to be able to take the emotional, ego, and "being wrong" hits. Show that I can take all that and listen to truly understand. And hope that she sees me being vulnerable and follows suit eventually.

  • @spiritjourneys7707
    @spiritjourneys7707 Рік тому +1

    My brothas, you make me so proud to hear how specifically emotionally intelligent your conversations are.
    How mature and brave!! Thank you!!

  • @naturallyshaq3679
    @naturallyshaq3679 Рік тому +8

    The podcast does not get enough love. Yall are so dope❤

  • @tierrasardine562
    @tierrasardine562 Рік тому +5

    The most difficult thing about communicating has to be understanding each others strengths when communicating. For example, I like most women can communicate to we blue in the face …I mean we will start spelling out words, synonyms,antonyms,etc.While I have came into contact in relationships that after “he” can’t explain any deeper it’s like …”just never mind , it’s cool” . 😂 so half of my marriage is me over communicating and him like “😳 ooo well what should I do so we not back in this space” ❤

  • @LadyLuxstar
    @LadyLuxstar Рік тому +3

    Loved this Episode

  • @londynjamiaa5981
    @londynjamiaa5981 Рік тому +3

    Never watched a male podcast. Y’all made me like them!! The points y’all made has me amazed

  • @kwanelechilixo
    @kwanelechilixo Рік тому +5

    My favourite episode hands down.

  • @Svosean
    @Svosean 5 місяців тому

    Wish I came across this episode earlier this week Jalon literally explained my entire weekend if you don't communicate narrates WOW!

  • @KiaraParkr
    @KiaraParkr Рік тому +1

    This was so good! So helpful. Communication is big to me and I’m always working on it but you guys made good points. Definitely had some take aways and perspective from men my age. I agree that it’s not a thing for women or men to be better communicators. Personally my childhood does effect how I communicate and receive information. Definitely subscribing

  • @reginaiyahhodge1704
    @reginaiyahhodge1704 Рік тому +3

    that emotional drawer analogy!!!

  • @hiramWillem-o5d
    @hiramWillem-o5d 10 днів тому

    The Ultimate Urge and Desire TO B able To Control Able and All other Circumstances once They Present Themselves

  • @DHenny
    @DHenny Рік тому +6

    I’ve never seen men be so vulnerable honest and smart . That’s sad at my big age I’ve been surrounded by clowns thinking it’s normal . Maybe I should move to another state

  • @CourtneyWilkerson-qp9zt
    @CourtneyWilkerson-qp9zt Рік тому

    I believe accountability and transparency in addition to active listening 🎧...
    In support of the ego has ABSOLUTELY NO PLACE IN THE CONVERSATION 🎉

  • @ashleecox9806
    @ashleecox9806 Рік тому +1

    Its inspiring to see y'all evolve in real time. I appreciate the vulnerability and accountability. Keep going! ✨

  • @CourtneyWilkerson-qp9zt
    @CourtneyWilkerson-qp9zt Рік тому

    Trust and respect 💯 for the partner is the only way to successfully ensure the relationship because without the protection of boundaries from and to your partner are responsibilities of us and the way we either make or break bonds with others

  • @Jude-clips
    @Jude-clips Рік тому

    This was so refreshing. Great podcast. It was informative & helpful for me. Communication is definitely not easy & your tips are appreciated. Y’all seem like good men who are level headed, respectful, articulate, logical & compassionate. Glad I came across your channel. God bless!

  • @MylezNevison
    @MylezNevison Рік тому +2

    Lack of self awareness, maturity and the Ego's need to be right are what cause communication break downs... Some aren't self aware enough to know or understand the feelings they are experiencing so their Ego ends up taking over in a knee jerk reaction of self protection; thus the fight begins.
    Effective communication starts INTERNALLY within one's self; unfortunately most fail the assignment internally and that internal failure is then mirrored externally with others inbthe form of an argument... Relationships are merely mirrors of the relationship one has internally with themselves. Miscommunication is a #SYMPTOM of an internal breakdown; problem is we focus on external ego fights as opposed to the internal #ROOT issue.
    "Understanding others is Wisdom but understanding the self is Enlightenment." It all comes back to the self.

  • @Jess2b_fit
    @Jess2b_fit Рік тому +2

    The first test of in/compatibility will show in a couple’s communication skills (or lack of)
    .. it goes beyond communication - big or small. You must listen to understand, not to simply respond.
    Are you able to put your ego to the side and comprehend what the other person needs to convey? Good, bad or both?
    Communication = Comprehension + execution

  • @francisw3456
    @francisw3456 Рік тому

    "Action items" love this! We both need to work on this.
    Love these convos! Great job fellas 👑

  • @hiramWillem-o5d
    @hiramWillem-o5d 10 днів тому

    Effective communication's Necessary

  • @kaiakamau9032
    @kaiakamau9032 Рік тому

    Oh my, this episode makes me look in the mirror and b better. Be better for us, me and my man. I absolutely love this topic and ur conversation. Thank you big time boys!

  • @Msbabbby
    @Msbabbby Рік тому +1

    Such a great episode, with real valid points . To summarize it all in .. vulnerability is such a big aspect of being able to communicate bc it’s coming straight from an conscious deep rooted place 🔑

  • @Christimony222
    @Christimony222 Рік тому

    Very important episode for other Black Kings to listen to. And, even us Queens.

  • @User08882
    @User08882 Рік тому

    I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear this conversation. Thank you guys🙏🏽. Learning and unlearning.

  • @Isis-Nashe
    @Isis-Nashe Рік тому +1

    I love how Omar gets hype about the intro. It really is 🔥 I have this song on my Apple Music because of this podcast. I say by the end of summer Omar will have the lyrics down and be rapping it like it’s his song 😂. Oan: this episode is IT just like all the others. I feel like I’m watching my dope a** brothers at this point. Love it here and shoutout to the guys for being stand up men and constantly growing ❤

  • @Wholisticbohoo
    @Wholisticbohoo Рік тому +4

    I literally watched this 3 times already, you guys are doing remarkable job with these important conversations🥃🥃🥃thank you!!!

  • @nicholasmcdowell2026
    @nicholasmcdowell2026 Рік тому

    Phenomenal and Powerful conversation

  • @musuyengbeh755
    @musuyengbeh755 Рік тому +3

    Honestly this was insightful on many levels but for me as a parent.

  • @teetst9523
    @teetst9523 Рік тому +2

    Wow! This episode is very important in all aspects of relationship.

  • @LaReineDiana2024
    @LaReineDiana2024 6 місяців тому

    Wow! Powerful message.

  • @Charlenespov
    @Charlenespov Рік тому

    This podcast is so therapeutic for people like me who struggle with self expression. Thank you for the enlightenment!

  • @CourtneyWilkerson-qp9zt
    @CourtneyWilkerson-qp9zt Рік тому +1

    Inability to be receptive or change is already a losing battle

  • @antwoniqueknowles7899
    @antwoniqueknowles7899 Рік тому +1

    This was dope!!! Gratitude to you all! 🥰

  • @lilitaseo625
    @lilitaseo625 Рік тому

    Love this episode! Nice to hear topics I often contemplate, but from the male perspective. Took mental note of a lot of game + will rewatch when I need reminding and strength through healthy communication.

  • @MsNikki-kd6tv
    @MsNikki-kd6tv Рік тому

    Absolutely love this level of communication and transparency. 👏🏽👏🏽

  • @charliahstarks1071
    @charliahstarks1071 Рік тому +2

    This is the only podcast that I have to devote my full attention to without having it played in the background while I’m cooking, cleaning, or running errands. After going out and dealing with the world and all the pressures that come with life, it’s always refreshing to come and be a fly on the wall and intake positive content. I get it, we get it 🍷🧊

  • @belledelemos9615
    @belledelemos9615 Рік тому +1

    Speechless so needed and the real truth…

  • @gbaby5o
    @gbaby5o Рік тому +1

    Loved loved LOVED this podcast. I took a lot away from this and will be applying to my personal life . Thank you guys for your transparency!

  • @adaokoye493
    @adaokoye493 Рік тому +1

    Wow. You have no idea how much I needed this episode right now

  • @cicihenry2471
    @cicihenry2471 Рік тому

    this was great. alot of gems and very healthy. yess black men!

  • @angelhoughton777
    @angelhoughton777 6 місяців тому

    Looking at the comments to decide whether or not this is the podcast i am looking for at this time and its looking pretty positive so far.

  • @DHenny
    @DHenny Рік тому +2

    I love this podcast omg

  • @nihstmoon3955
    @nihstmoon3955 Рік тому +1

    I watched this ep when it first came out and loved it, just finished the sex and intamcy ep with tank not too long ago and am leaving this comment here to have it noticed sooner as it is still in relation to cmmunication and relates to both eps, Love the podcast fellas, watch you guys all the time, and Nice & Neat is a podcast that is definetly in my top Two! would greatly appreciate an episode & topic inclusion on men not being satisifed sexually, and how to go about us as men becoming pleased when not satisfied, i feel its a taboo rare topic that might not be discussed often but exist, women are not the only ones, I learn so much information and gain so much positive dialogue from you guys as fellow black men and would love if this was a topic, on how to go about having our needs met in general, casually in casual sex etc, i often leave disatisfied and the women has came and or has mutiple times, i am a man that cares to please but dont know how to properly go about dating to recieve what i give, i care for the same pleasure but dont know how to go about properly getting what i dish out, ive never met my match but have been close a few times, Im 23 and single, & sex is of importance to me fellas, i look up to you guys Especially Duke & Jalon, and truly vaule you guys advice & apply it to my day to day, I hope this is something that could possibly be of disscussion in the near future, Not sure how many other men deal with this problem yeah.

  • @daughteroftheking01
    @daughteroftheking01 Рік тому

    🔥 got me binge watching this podcast.

  • @dannijay84
    @dannijay84 6 місяців тому

    Absolutely loved this episode ❤❤

  • @hiramWillem-o5d
    @hiramWillem-o5d 9 днів тому

    DefenSive Emotions

  • @jeremywilliams3931
    @jeremywilliams3931 Рік тому

    Crazy episode!!! I learned a lot about myself this episode 💯 keep em coming

  • @WynesiaShaniece
    @WynesiaShaniece Рік тому +12

    As someone whose trying to work on being better at communicating this was very informative for me. I’m saving this to my archives to listen to again. @ Jalon are you a Scorpio? lol bc you sound like me I always ask questions to get deeper. Why is my favorite question. 😂

  • @johnsondurosier9963
    @johnsondurosier9963 Рік тому

    This podcast had nothing but gems. Thank y’all for sharing 🙏🏾

  • @Angee82111
    @Angee82111 Рік тому +1

    Duke always gets it! 👏🏽

  • @SharmonJarmon
    @SharmonJarmon Рік тому +2

    love you guys podcast

  • @shernz6188
    @shernz6188 Рік тому +1

    I enjoy all your episodes... but this one is on replay!👌🏾

  • @Claudia-yc8xk
    @Claudia-yc8xk Рік тому

    I absolutely loved this podcast so much, so refreshing.

  • @rodehs688
    @rodehs688 Рік тому +8

    Dawg y’all were dropping bars on this one. Thank y’all for sharing knowledge 🙏🏽

  • @sheenashepherd71
    @sheenashepherd71 Рік тому

    Thank you this is awesome feedback

  • @bdepina03
    @bdepina03 Рік тому +2

    Really good conversation! Made me want to communicate better!

  • @__iva.x
    @__iva.x Рік тому +1

    I really enjoyed this conversation super insightful. Keep up the good work guys 👌🏽

  • @msjmid6819
    @msjmid6819 2 місяці тому

    Valuable conversation

  • @destaniwashington2216
    @destaniwashington2216 Рік тому +2

    This is gooddddddd 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

  • @burd9028
    @burd9028 Рік тому

    Thank you fellas!!! Y’all definitely dropped some gems and provided some tools so that I could improve my communication skills

  • @IamNicoleJ
    @IamNicoleJ Рік тому

    This podcast was really truly enlightening and informative. Thank you for allowing us into your perspectives!

  • @Christian900
    @Christian900 Рік тому

    Emotional Regulation
    I learned that today

  • @TheMeme892007
    @TheMeme892007 Рік тому +1

    This was soooooo good. Always learning from yall!