I implore you to listen to this man me and my ex reunited after a month, thank you coach lee for your advice I’ve managed to grow, gain perspective and work on myself aswell !
My ex of 31 years has been a way for 3 weeks I broke the nocontac several different times I'm going to try his advice wish I would have watched this video right after the breakup
Don’t worry about your ex. Build your self respect up again. And date yourself. Do what you want. If it’s meant to be to be between the both of you. They will come back.
After 4 months of no contact and consistently watching and trusting Coach Lee in all of his videos, my ex and I got back together last week. Even though we are currently back together, I continue to watch Coach Lee's videos because without him, I wouldn't know what to do. I am very thankful for Coach Lee. If you're hurting right now, remember that this will pass. Whether you get back together or move on, trust the process and listen to Coach Lee, it's a win-win for you.
@@mahdman3I personally believe if you go apart on good terms after creating loads of good memories and go NC and go completely silent they will chase you faster than you think.
I think I'm using these videos to get used to the loss and using no contact just to get through to the next moment and self-improve as much as I can. It's been three months, and I vacillate between feeling great, then the next moment, my heart aches, and I'm in tears.
My ex definitely felt the loss and tried to reconnect with me. Unfortunately for him, I used all this no contact for 9 months to grow and heal, and don't want him anymore. 😅
I'm struggling on this RN but I actually do want freedom though I'm in a confused state on do I actually want him this was a 5 yr thing.that actually wasn't supposed to happen
This is my entire point. No contact can only work if you no longer want the person anymore. It’s spiritual. Now they come back when you are not interested.
No contact can only have an impact on your ex, if he or she has enough time for self reflection. If your ex is extremely busy with his/her life especially in a new environment, no contact can hardly impact them, and in fact it may even help them to move on faster. So keep only minimal hope about getting your ex back. Focus on yourself; let time take care of the rest.
moving on isn't the hard part....it's so easy to meet other people and move on...but if the connection was real, strong and unlike anything either of you have experienced it's not easy to come by- in fact, it may never happen again.
Ex broke up with me while studying abroad, aka new environment. She's coming back home in a week, I'm wondering if being shot back into the "old" environment would help my case still?
My ex moved to a new apartment 3 months before she ended our relationship. I moved her in. Most of the furniture in her place I gave her to use from my house. She has chairs on her patio that I built for her. Even the car she drives that I sold her, belonged to my dad. She still uses my Netflix account and shares my Costco membership. How does she not think about and miss me everyday when everything around her reminds her of me?
My partner and I split up. I broke her trust. I went into no contact for 2/3 weeks and I was in a bad place, I listened to your videos which really helped especially through the really sad times. I actually broke No Contact. We started talking and I reasoned that our relationship was worth fighting for, it took a long time (8 months) but we are back together and very happy. ❤ Every relationship is different and there are no hard and fast rules. If you both still love each other and can see a glimmer then why not give it your best shot? I did not I do not regret it.
Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
I lived and breathed coach lee when I was going through a break up at the beginning of 2022. Now almost 2 years later, I am completely over my ex which tbh at the time I didn't would be possible... it does get better, break ups are fucking hard but there is life on the other side. Haven't seen or spoken to him since the day it ended & I happily plan on keeping it that way forever. What's great too is that once that person has been out of your life for a while you stop looking at them through rose-tinted glasses and see them more and more for what they really were - a measly human being with flaws, who holds no control over your happiness or self-worth. Hang in there everyone!
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to move on, I really loved her so much i can’t stop thinking about her and the memories we shared. I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail. I’m frustrated, and i don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts, but i can’t. I don’t know why I’m saying this here, but i really miss her and i wish i could get her back.
I have been in such a situation. My relationship ended about three years ago, but i could not let her go. So i had to do all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back. We are back together, and i must say i am enjoying every moment.
Hello Coach and everyone here. I did no contact for 17 months. We reunited, my ex said everything Coach Lee says, about them wanting to reach out etc. We rekindled, and broke up 2 months later. Neither of us had done the proper work on ourselves OR we just arent meant to be together. Im in no contact again for 6 months. You WILL get better. I promise. Coach Lee's videos have helped me..thank you Coach 🙏
@patricialiardi3782 I dated other people but compared them to him. I couldn't move on properly. He said he didn't date anyone within that 17 months 🤷♀️
They will only contact you when the notice you have moved on and become a better version of yourself, but they will contact to check on you not to get back at first. If you act needy if they contact they will run away again !
@abiyubeshah yes, I should have and I did. Once someone decides to walk away, I'm not chasing them. Additionally, once a person is unfaithful, I'm done!
Yeah it's best just to go to no contact helps you move on if they really want to be with you they will reach out just remember no contact isn't about getting them back it's about getting yourself back
the no contact principles also work during a relationship where you want more commitment. in short, meaning: you must show that you are constantly growing. so they will be fearing that you might get better (more attractive) than them, you must show that you also have other interests than this person, show that you aren t depending on them emotionally, you must show in a subtle way and with calm that they can lose you. not with words but with actions. just a small example: he cancels your plans together last minute. no worries, you let him know that you truly understand and you go out with friends instead. and let him know how much fun you had. just like for you it was maybe better that he had canceled. but don t say it exactly. let him feel that your life is awesome even without him. also, always mirror his attitude towards you. don t overgive. another thing, remember that fear of losing someone can transform an avoidant altogether. you must convert their fear of closeness with the fear of losing. as the final word.. don t be obvious in your strategy but subtile and constant.
My ex broke up with me over a year ago because she liked being alone. Within two months (I have since learned) she had a new relationship... and continued to reach out. I kept thinking she was going to come back. I won't bore you with the details. I wish I could be friends her but I can't. I just can't see her in any other way as someone I wanted to grow old with. I miss her so much even with it being over 15 months. I want this pain to stop.
When she told you she liked being alone, that was just her polite way of breaking it off with you. When they say things like that, they have no intention of reconciling. Also, you're choosing to hang on to the past. 15 months is a long time to still be holding on to what doesn't exist anymore. It's your responsibility to learn to live without that person. Time alone won't make a difference, you have to actually make the difference.
@@sloanmagnum5009 Forgive me for this is a winded reply. I absolutely agree with you. But she also looked me directly in the eyes and said she still found me attractive and saw a future with me the day we broke up. I truly think if we had actually just talked about how we were likely spending too much time together, we could have salvaged something - changed the way we were dating. I would have been MORE than fine with that. She drove me home that day; we hugged and cried for a LONG time. She insisted she didn't want anyone else. I told her specifically I didn't want to be friends that day because I couldn't fathom it - and she kept coming back, reaching out - after I did NC (30 days; then another 25; etc., she asked me to dinner after my first 30 days of NC - never happened because our schedules couldn't match; 2nd dinner she arranged - she 'forgot'. For each NC by me - she kept coming back (and still does - as recently as Thanksgiving). I admit, since day 1 of this - I could be better at standing up for my needs and wants but I wanted that discussed in person. Even me eventually telling her exactly how I felt (full details) - and asking we not talk, that I needed silence between us because I love her and cannot picture us as friends - she came back AGAIN (this was April this year). Please note - I did NC without even seeing a video like this until two months into my break-up. I'm struggling more with the fact we had so many serious conversations about our values, lives (we're both much older), we knew we wanted a long life together - saw the future (marriage)... you get the picture. From the words hello, seeing her (our first two 'dates' were on the phone) - she immediately felt like family - and she expressed the exact same. It's just a bit harder to swallow / comprehend - even with knowing I have to do the work. It's not that I don't want to - it's just hard at times. Sorry for the long winded response. And thank you for your response.
She cheated on you. A girl doesn’t just jump into a new relationship after 2 months. She was likely in contact with this person and meeting up while with you and was waiting for the best opportunity to monkey branch when it was safe to do so. I wouldn’t worry about it. You deserve better than that.
10 months into no contact and I got a “ Happy Thanksgiving”. I was civil and said ‘thank you, blessings’. Back to no contact. Not pursuing breadcrumbs at this stage.
This worked but as soon as we started seeing each other again, she was also seeing someone else behind my back. I walked away and after 3 months, she reached out again. This time, I left her on "read". Now the bread crumbing has stopped... so far.
Most of you should just let the relationship go and work on improving your self and moving forward. Sure, you read comments about people getting an ex back but when you read the comment, they stated that they just got their ex back recently. Trust me, if you revisist the comment and ask for an update, the relationship usually failed again, or they just dont reply because it failed. It's really only a small group of couples who getback together permanently, they usually break up for superficial reasons. Your true companion is out there waiting for you to let go of what wasnt meant to be. Your feelings are literally just a chemical reaction in your brain. Once you learn to control them and see things in an unbiased view, youll start to feel so much better and realize you deserve better if you were a good partner. If you got broken up with because you were a bad partner, then you get to reflect create change in your life that can produce a more positive outcome.
You never know if you never try, there is such thing as right person wrong time , reletionships are supposed to be worked on and just giving up is easier than trying to make it work , you have a point there and i agree with some of ghe stuff. You people have to understand that yes it is possible that your actual parthner is out there yet if you dont try with this person youll never know.
@@-matya5543 if you're not compatible on core beliefs and personality then the relationship is almost certainly doomed. Nobody should have to suffer or work hard for a relationship. Some people are just scared to let go and accept that the person they were with isn't "the one".
@@-matya5543 Exactly. I wish there was some kind of a marker on people's forehead which told us if they would give up on you when circumstances turn bad for a while. Let the givers stay together, that way. And let the takers be with whatever newest thing that has caught their fancy. Would save a lot of our time, investment, emotions and energy.
Hugs! 🫂 Focus on building a new life. Maybe he/she will come back but start building a new life without them. Consider do you want them in you new life? Maybe you might or might not.
Just wanted to leave this comment because all I ever saw during my time watching these videos was the hard luck stories, and thought to myself if anyone ever gets their ex back, they don’t have a need for these videos anymore. I did after 3-4 weeks of being broken up with. She came back, I want to let people know what Lee says couldn’t have been more accurate in MY situation, thank you 🙏🏾
@@kagamitaiga9167 We never went more than 3/4 days at a time without a nice, casual interaction. It was only when we started to give eachother actual space and listening to the advice in these videos that things started to become productive. Yes she did
You have not only saved my relationship but saved my life. Your videos are a god send. Because of you I have my family back and my little two year old girl is immensely happy to have mommy and daddy by her side. God bless you for what you have done for me and my family but also for all the other men who needed you. We literally love you bud.
It's been three months for me. I've stopped obsessing about wanting him back in my life. I wanted him back early on, but that was because of the pain that being rejected by him caused. It hurt and I thought if he returned, it would assuage my bad feelings. That's not the case anymore. Now, I'm focusing on myself instead of getting him back. Now, I'm focused on my diet, I exercise daily, and I'm in therapy twice a week. If he contacts me, great, and if he doesn't, that's great too.
We were together 8 years and broke up. Apart for 3 years and ended up getting back together! For a year it was wonderful. I thought she had really changed. I know I had. Therapy, lifestyle changes etc did me a lot of good. But her old habits started coming back and after another 6 moths, dumped me thru a FB message again. Always hides behind email, Facebook etc. Can never face anything in person. I have to be done this time. I need to heal and move on for good. People CAN come back, but it is not always going to give you what you want or need ☹
specially when there fake about there true intentions i still watch the videos. but therapy is next step for me so i can get over her and find someone that truly cares
To people who say „why would you want your ex back”, „ex is an ex for a reason” and „they left you once they will do it again” - what are you doing watching and commenting on these videos when you’re clearly not a target audience? Just curious.
Oh my god, I get annoyed reading these comments too and I can’t help but think if these people feel so strongly like this then why even watch these videos cause it’s clearly not for you.
I just had to come back here and thank you very much for how you changed my life...a year ago after my then girlfriend left me, your videos kept me going and made me realize myself worth...Thank you very much Sir
My ex left me after years and your videos helped me more then you know. Thank you from my heart. Unfortunately I’m back here 😢 It’s terrible how broken heart hurts
MojRa, Let me recommend Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit which will help you immensely. There is a discount today. myexbackcoach.com/ebk Discount code: 2A53FC This Kit has strategies for every situation including yours. Good luck to you.
Same here, I watched coach Lee after my break up in 2019, up till 2022 when I found love again and I stopped watching, now I'm back one year after. Our breakup was terrible, but I'm healing now, and am opening to get to know someone new
NC may not always work but it is an effective way to get your ex back. My ex came back after 2 and half months of breakup and 2 months of NC. And it felt different. The relationship felt stronger. But he went on to do the same thing. After going into NC for 21 days, I reached out. It was a bad move. I aggressively (not physically or by verbal disrespect) tried to make him understand why breaking up was not the solution. I was humiliated. I vowed never to reach out first. That was 3 weeks ago. There are days when I feel so low and miss him but I'm not sure if I want him back. My mind says no, while my heart wants him back. I just hope I can take the right decision. Staying in NC helps a lot.
I think I just nearly had a heart attack guys….ive been watching a lot of these no contact videos to help me cope and I’ve just realised I’m still signed in on her tv 😩…so if she’s gone on UA-cam on tv all my watched no contact vids will be there!!!!…sign out on your devices fellas please 🙏
No contract works better for men who got dumped than for women who got dumped. The best way for a woman to win back a guy is to get in good physical shape and go to finishing school on how to be a great wife.
Blocked everywhere by them... Think that's them making a decision and sticking to it. I wish it wasn't so. Breakups are good because you realise how much you loved them. For them it's probably how little you loved them.
No matter what you tell her, she is not going to change her mind until and unless she chooses it herself. So why waste your time and energy worrying about something that's out of your control? Take a break, be kind to yourself, live life and be happy.
This advice works so well that he came back too soon before I even got to the next video and I'm not ready !!! I am doing my best to stay calm and friendly but He was my world and now I'm aware that walking out on me was so easy for him I'm scared to try again.
I don’t understand it, one minute we were doing great, then the next he was saying he’ll never give me another chance. But I don’t know what o did. I was going to stay overnight and the conversation was fine and then said “your not going to wake me up because I can’t fall back to sleep” then he said “he’s not going to give another chance”. I haven’t talked to him since July 19 and have completely avoided him. But I’m in a gazzilion pieces. How do I get through
Everything Coach Lee says is spot on. Trust the process. I know your current situation hurts. Stay strong for your future self. My lady is a Dismissive Avoidant. Over 5 years of living together we’ve broken up and reunited so many times I’ve lost count. I do not protest or plead. Half of the time I helped move her stuff without saying a word or being awkward. Understand I learned each time. The first time she called the police on me. Now is the time to build YOU 2.0 Go to the gym and listen to It’s the End of the World by R.E.M. in your AirPods. Good breakup song. Listen to the lyrics.
This is excellent advice. The pursuer vs prize is something I really needed to hear today. Thank you, I've been pursuing all my life, I see that it's not working now. I haven't felt like I deserved love. Time to fix that.
I’ve always gone by if don’t expect anything you won’t ever be disappointed if anything it makes you grateful when it does happen. And I’ve always been happy when I had been alone and never felt lonely.
Honestly watching these videos especially Lee’s videos it helps me get through the days I got broken up with three days ago and it’s been hell for me,before we broke up my ex told me she needed time,space and wanted to heal, at the time she said she was unsure if she wanted to get back together with me in the future which honestly has crushed me coz well obviously I still love her dearly , I can only hope that after time has passed she will come back I’m not going to break the no contact I can’t anyway I’ve been blocked on everything however she has done this before and after sometime she has unblocked me so hopefully after she’s had her time she will but for right now ima just listen to the advice I’ve heard through these videos,keep doing the no contact,work on myself and focus on myself,it’s only been 3 days and it definitely feels like everyday so far gets harder then the last but eventually it’ll be okay,I’ll try to keep this updated especially after if she does or doesn’t come back,Good luck everyone!
I was just typing 💬 same for me it’s been a week for me ! I absolutely hate it !!!! Especially as the holidays come etc … and I’m use to doing everything with my man
You're just torturing your self. Your ex is playing immature childish games with you. They're unsettled internally and will use you emotionally with no intent to take you serious
@@laolooo oh yea,well she started dated some dude 4 days after the break up,which means she has been cheating on me behind my back ofc and I’m done with her no fucking way in hell I’m taking her back,been working on myself made some new friends that honestly enrich my life more then I could imagine and honestly haven’t felt better,so yea that’s my update,if any of you guys are struggling best advice I can give is just focus on urself,mentally,psychically,emotionally and financially you’ll come out a much better and stronger person and you’ll find someone way better then ur ex,everything happens for a reason and sometimes things just aren’t meant to be no matter how hard you try if the other person doesn’t want to try then that should say all u need to know, just some of the many things I’ve learnt from this experience, take care all
I think it‘s bad advice to respond „casually“ once your ex reaches out casually with a simple „how are you doing blabla“ and acts like nothing happened… the ex reaches out because he starts to feel the loss in no contact and he wants to check if he still has access to you. if you respond like nothing happened you snap him right out of the feeling of loss back to the relieve stage and acually help him move on and keep you on the side as a back up plan. also it shows a lack of self respect, after they dumped you because they did not see your value, and now you let them come and go as they please…like a doormat. no way the ex would feel respect or attraction to this lack of boundaries
I think his advice would work when enough time has passed. Probably more than a year. If your ex reaches out more than a year later and you do not respond it's likely that she thinks that you are still angry and that's is not a healthy sign...
if your aim is to get them back, then yes you absolutely should respond. Match how they talk to you or even go one stage lower of showing interest. but be polite. if you don't respond then they will feel rejected in a sense and may never try to reach out again. That's very counter productive don't you think if you're trying to get back with them? However if you feel like you yourself have moved on, then yes don't bother responding as you've now realised you don't care for them any longer
I did respond, since he sent a long text, but nothing really significant… so I respnded polite and shorter than his message and I asked what his intentions are of texting me. his answer was „I am just i terested in how you are doing“ so for me it was clear, he is not ready to get back together, he is just wondering how i could stay away and his ego was hurt. So I responded to that that I understand but that this type of contact would not work for me. and that‘s it. back to no contact. I am not willing to catch up with him whenever he feels like to ease his anxiety of losing me. now he knows that I value myself more and that he can‘t just keep me on the side without wanting to get back together. truly this kind if contact would only hurt me, why would I do this to myself
I think that’s a very good point. If they reach out, do respond but not like everything is forgiven. Just a polite, reserved answer. Nothing that makes him/her feel better about it.
Coach lee, I watch these videos and they silence the negative voice in my head. I believe in NC. I know she’s not 100% going to come back, but I know if I keep the faith and use your strategies, I’ll be ok even if she doesn’t.
It's not that you meant so little, it was probably just not meant to be, but they did care about you. You're worthy of love and it's out there waiting for you but you have to find it in yourself first. Work on your self concept, set goals for yourself, get mentally/physically/spiritually healthy and get excited about moving your amazing life forward x
Friend, you must find someone new and forget her. Your life is passing while you mourn her. There are other good people out there worth meeting. Please stop wasting time on someone who doesn’t deserve you. 🙏🏻
@@lamann2437 aww thank you for saying this. I really wish I was able to but I just think about her a lot each and every single day. I just feel like I need that text to at least know she thinks of me because I cant seem to overcome that silence. Obviously that text is never going to come and it just breaks me
I cannot express enough that people learn from this. I was that person who spoiled my ex and chased her and made her feel like the prettiest girl in the world. She abused it. All my friends hated her..Scale was tipped. Like he said I just grew tired and out of love with her. Stayed cos I didn’t want to hurt her but she thought she had a hold on me. Instead of being appreciative and work on issues she said let’s break up randomly. The moment she mentioned the word break up I was gone before she could blink and relieved…. I like her but not in love anymore. And was so glad to save thousands of dollars afterwards. No more booking yachts, Dubai trips, it was over lol. She’s still trying to come back but now I look at her and it’s like I hmmm no thanks I’m good.
@@lateashaevans4579 🤷 idk. I think there was a lot more but she’s irrelevant now so it doesn’t really matter. Even though she wants us back together, I’m so uninterested she lost her charm I don’t see her the same. I’d rather be friends.
Even if I don’t get my ex back for the second time. I am convinced Coach Lee is a genius. He will not lead you wrong. Thank you coach Lee. For all of this exceptional advice. I truly appreciate all you do.
She breadcrumbed me twice in the last 3 months. She did not mention anything about wanting to get back together. I didn't either. Last time I heard from her was over a month ago. I stayed in my lane and acted indifferent and she has not reached out since. I think she wanted me to chase but I refuse to do so. I'm trying not to think about her but she is on my mind often throughout the day. At this point, I do not believe she wants to reconcile and I will not be making any effort to try and change her mind either.
Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my 4 year relationship. My beloved partner chose to depart, leaving me with an unyielding ache. Despite my relentless efforts to reconcile, I find myself grappling with frustration and an inability to envision a future without him. Despite attempts to purge him from my mind, I remain haunted by his absence, feeling compelled to express my longing here.
benhartart9487. If you keep taking her back each time she goes to another guy, she will keep doing it. If my boyfriend/husband did that to me, I would definitely not trust him again. Just knowing they were with someone else, would break my heart, and I would lose TRUST..GOOD LUCK TO YOU ❤❤
I think that the biggest question is that when an ex comes back after a period of no contact nine times out of 10 it’s because they’ve tried to replace you and have realised it’s not that easy out there anymore … we are now living in a world where nobody wants to commit So a lot of the time when they come back, it’s not necessarily because they miss you and love you so much. It’s because they feel uncomfortable being alone, and they need to feel wanted again and not necessarily because I love you so much, that they can’t live without you. In this scenario, it is also very likely that as soon as someone else comes along that takes their fancy they will dump you all over again leaving you feeling even worse I think that when somebody breaks up with you is to realise that you are the prize and move on to somebody who would never leave you in a heap on the floor ❤
I went over two years with no contact, she reached out a few times and I said if she wasn't open to something simple like playing a boardgame that I wouldn't be available to give life advice. She got married to some guy and their dynamic looks identical to our old dynamic except he's kind of fat and average. I think I have too much fire and ambition to hold a long term relationship where my partner feels secure and valued, and I learned through all this that changing that about myself for someone causes them to lose attraction to me anyway so I'm just going back to more casual relationships. Some of us just aren't cut out for marriages.
Wow. That's a very thorough response, I appreciate it. @@alaalfa8839 When I say casual relationships, I don't mean casual sex. I mean ongoing relationships which aren't exclusive and where we don't move in together. It's time consuming, but I did that throughout my twenties with minimal heartbreak. And the women who I was involved with never shut me out entirely as they tend to after a more normal monogamous dynamic. I suppose the term floating around for that currently is "situationships." What they lack is the opportunity to build eachother up and have children in a functional setting where their development can be prioritized. It's my responsibility to foster a dynamic where such a thing would be possible, but where my spouse's attraction is dependent on my guidance and vision and excellence I can't cut corners on my work, my hobbies or my physical fitness. We call that narcissistic, but it's the major driver of her attraction toward you. And attraction and respect are the cornerstones to maintaining her investment. The whole no contact approach to managing breakups is based on this approach, is it not? A person who is indifferent toward you must be of higher quality than the person who is eager to chase you. And not just after the breakup, it also ruins a lot of marriages when men are too eager to please, plus the covert contracts so called 'nice guys' attach to things along the way, often unwittingly. I don't know Sam Vaknin, but reading Robert Glover's 'No More Mr Nice Guy' was a huge leap forward for my understanding of what I was doing wrong when I tried to be a husband instead of a lover.
NC helps give hope through suffering so you dont feel completely dead inside. Ive watched acouple videos but now i dont think i want him anymore. The thought makes me feel sick. Maybe this was a blessing. Its been 5 days. Everyone and every relationship are different. Had wonderful times with him but he ruined it.
This isn't going to work. She's with someone else she moved on so fast. she's not thinking about me. And she's not coming back I know this in my heart and soul.
TELEM, If she moved on so fast, she REBOUNDED. When you rebound that fast, there is no way she will stop thinking of you. She found a band aid, and it will not work! Why did you two break up? Please give a little more information. Are you married, single? Thanks.
Ive been no contact for 5 months now. Shes sporadically reached out here and there but disappears upon a response. No begging, nothing. At this point i dont feel theres anything i can do. Ive dated. Ive talked to people. Nothing. I dont know what to do. I dont know if im making a mistake in not making an effort towards her. I focus on myself and career, but i feel unfulfilled by everything. I just want to sleep and never wake up
I went no contact with a guy I’d been dating. He reached out from time to time and I think I did reach out once but I was never trying to get him back. I was interested in someone else. Anyway, 6 mos after the “split” he asked to see me again and asked for another chance. Keep in mind though that we were never officially together and he had never wanted space from me so I don’t want anyone getting false hopes when looking at other examples. Every situation is different. My point is that it can happen.
I’m so scared of never getting over them. I’m so afraid, because right now; they were everything I ever wanted. We mutually agreed to breaking up as he had his own mental health issues that were making things very hard and I also wasn’t easy. We had such a strong and very close bond. He told me he wants to see me again one day and cross paths, but right now we are both just feeling very intense, heavy emotions and we need time to feel like ourselves again. I feel so afraid that he will just end up forgetting me
Because there is no pain like the pain of rejected love, and there’s no medication to reduce the pain. You have to white-knuckle it. What helped me the most was staying VERY occupied. Go on a road trip. Soon as you get back, plan another. Take up a hobby or restart one you put aside during the relationship. Meet as many people of both sexes as possible because it gives your brain other faces to focus on. It gets better, I promise!
Listen to Coach Lee, wether to get your ex back or to just get over your ex. I was on the edge of crumbling down until I found him, and guess what, I realised that the break up was the best thing that have ever happened to me, no matter how much blindsided you are right now, could be the best or that one person could be the right one and realised how good you are and come back. Doesn't matter, you are someone fantastic, and they are missing you out.
My wife offered us to be friends. I didnt give a yes or a no. (What do i look like a t.v. show) and i havent reached out unless it was necessary about the kids. She has tried to get me to reach out by asking me to text or call her when i made it to my living space. I didnt, im doing my best to apply everything coach lee is saying.
Love your videos but I'm not sold on the attraction math. Sometimes someone breaks up because there might have been a life stressor in the dumper's life. Maybe something that caused a deep depression. Sometimes people don't feel like they can manage a relationship because they are having personal problems. Maybe it could be family stress. And there's times where say a parent or other important person in the dumpers life that didn't approve the dumpee.
coach you have to change your video thumbs. it took me so long to click on one of your videos bcs the thumbs look very weird. but here i am and you are the best yt coach online!
I honestly didn't think nor expect that these things actually work, until last night. This no contact rule is not a joke. It works in a mysterious way. 😅
Idk how I’d even act or feel if I did get my ex back. I feel like I’ve been played and betrayed. I guess this is because I’m imagining something new where she is still the same person and resents me. Perhaps if that day ever came, which I’m coming to believe has a snowballs chance in hell of happening, she might actually want it as much as me if not more, and she would apologize and we could hopefully have forgiven one another. I think that’s the biggest barricade. One or both people can’t let go of what happened before. And at some point that resentment is going to come out. But a true heart to heart and consistency goes a long way. It hasn’t been all bad. We had a short relationship that was very intense but ended abruptly. Not like it was months and months of trying and getting nowhere. Idk, no contact at least will help me get over it all. It’s been 2.5 years since we broke up. Ofc we have been in contact recently with bouts of NC for months here, months there. Finally I’m doing it indefinitely until she reaches out to me.
My ex (who left) was calling me every few days and I was available for him- he called twice Wednesday and I didn't answer either and sent a thoughtful thanksgiving text on Thursday- no response. I was feeling like he could just have access to me whenever and it didn't feel good to me so I stopped responding. If he always has access to me he won't feel my absence so I think I made the right decision. He needs clarity that I'm the "one" well....get that clarity without me in your life at all.
Any advice for the holiday season during a breakup after a longterm relationship? The breakup was a months ago, and your videos were amazing at the start of the breakup, but i find myself watching your videos again with the holidays approaching. Thank you, Coach Lee!
William, I have a video on it at ua-cam.com/video/gLUJbncTN1k/v-deo.htmlsi=9kA2mRcH6T3FGc1W but it depends on how long you’ve been in no contact. Between 3-5 months and beyond, it’s kind of a matter of risk/reward. And that’s up to you. You have lower odds after 100 or so days. So do you want to move on or wait longer with a goal to start the process of moving on in a time frame of 6 months or less. I wish you the best.
@@RealCoachLeeWait. Are you saying that is better to give up, considering the chances, after 100 days of NC? Being realistic, this implies some kind of gray area of inner conflict, between those 100 days and the day you really move on (usually it takes longer than 100 days or 3 months). You don't mention this any often in your videos... And this sounds quite scary to be honest.
Based on #2 Coach Lee, she reach out to me & said to me that she wanted to talk but at that moment I was busy so I say to her that I'm of to work & I can't see you now so can we talk a next time, cause I really wanted to hear her Coach. But because I couldn't talk at that time to her she started to date my friend to make me jealous. I really did❤️love that girl.
Do you think my ex-girlfriend still loves me, or will she miss me? Over those 6 years, there were times when we misunderstood each other. We experienced ups and downs, had arguments, but also cherished sweet and happy moments. We seemed fine a week ago, but suddenly, she stopped answering my calls and texts. When she does respond, she simply says, 'I don't know' to any questions I ask. I stopped talking because I was hurt. After a few days, she broke up with me. It hurts so much; my heart is shaking, and the pain courses through my entire body. I can't eat, I can't sleep. I'm truly in agony, and I don't know what to do.
He cheated on me after 19 years with a coworker for a year. He’s literally not allowing no contact but is now willing to commit to fixing things. We’re both in individual therapy and couples therapy at some point.
He left me. 1 year later splits up with the new girlfriend and sends me an abusive texts basically lying 🤥 about the past etc. Then his best friend sends me a fb friends request . The mind boggles.. 😅
We spent 4yrs living together and the last 6months of that we're on LDR. She moved to a new city last June 2023 then she broke up with me July last year then after less than a month, she's already in a new relationship. She blocked me on everything and deleted me in her life like I never existed. I tried to go around the block last november then she blocked me again. I dont think she's ever coming back. It doesn't sting that much anymore but I can't stop thinking about her everyday and everynight. I love her so much and though I understand that she's happy with someone else now, I still can't get myself to give up on her, on us. This is just so hard.
I haven't heard from or had any contact with my wife/ex wife now for 2yrs,not at all after a 28yr marriage.. I'm just now starting to be able to accept I'll never see or hear from her again
Coach lee, i want to celebrate you for your work, youve indeed be so helpful to me with the information you put out in your videos. Sir i want to ask, my ex was really mean and kind of disrespectful before she broke things between us. It was like I didn’t know her any longer, she even said i should move on. My question lee is ? Is there still hope, because it looks like she’s made up her mind for good, it was a LDR.
No it doesn't work brother I'm in no contact for 9 months now and it was LDR of 3 years, so you better move on and find someone new and no contact is best way to go.... 💪
I don't blame you. It's been 5 days for me and this few days of reflection has opened my eyes. Neither of us are perfect. There were some amazing times and after this, I don't think I could make any more good memories with him. the thought makes me sick to my stomach.
Coach Lee, i feel a little discouraged. I def was the prize and feel guilty for that. He did ended it all in angry call 2 days after the fight. Breakups are already so painful and In anger just layers up the wounds. As well as saying it’s all my fault because of my criticisms. Successfully made me feel guilty that it was all because of me that he was ending it.. just to finally come clean at the end of the call with what he’s been lying about the last 2 months. My body knew but he would deny it. I don’t think he would have admitted to any of it, but only finally fessed up to keep me away.
It’s a tough situation because if he felt like you were the prize and he was second, motivation for him to come back to that relationship is low or nothing. No contact is the best chance and perhaps you can prove you have changed. If it works it will be a marathon not a sprint.
I reached out after 2 weeks of no contact and jus said “hey how are u doing” now everyday I regret sending this text and I feel like I ruined my one chance I’m back in no contact and for good this time hopefully she comes back at some point but rn I’m focusing on myself
I feel like most of your videos on based on secure people breaking up. My ex is insecure and has commitment issues. She continues running to new relationship without healing from the prior. We had 5 years together and her new partner is a lot less stable and much lower income with a few felony convictions. Referred to him as "love of her life" after only 5 months when he left for a few nights then came back.
I implore you to listen to this man me and my ex reunited after a month, thank you coach lee for your advice I’ve managed to grow, gain perspective and work on myself aswell !
Finding Coach Lee has been the best thing in helping me find myself. I have been lost in grief but he's shown me a new way to think. Thank you!
😅not if the person has cheated there isnothing to save
Happy for you. Who broke up with who and why? Curious, feeling discouraged :(
My ex of 31 years has been a way for 3 weeks I broke the nocontac several different times I'm going to try his advice wish I would have watched this video right after the breakup
I loved reading your relationship success story. I’m elated that you’re happy ❤
Don’t worry about your ex. Build your self respect up again. And date yourself. Do what you want. If it’s meant to be to be between the both of you. They will come back.
I'm trying to believe that
@@jenrn1147 You’ll get there. It’s a slow process. But you will get there.
After 4 months of no contact and consistently watching and trusting Coach Lee in all of his videos, my ex and I got back together last week. Even though we are currently back together, I continue to watch Coach Lee's videos because without him, I wouldn't know what to do. I am very thankful for Coach Lee. If you're hurting right now, remember that this will pass. Whether you get back together or move on, trust the process and listen to Coach Lee, it's a win-win for you.
Who reached out first?
What initially caused your break-up?
Wow that's awesome, happy for you 😊
Wow happy for you mate well done for doing no contact it’s very hard
I wondered did you reach out to your ex or your ex reached out first?
To anyone who is anxious about getting them back, I did what he said and it worked. Just trust the process 💯
How long did it take?
Yeah please share with us how long it took.
and me
Time?
@@mahdman3I personally believe if you go apart on good terms after creating loads of good memories and go NC and go completely silent they will chase you faster than you think.
I think I'm using these videos to get used to the loss and using no contact just to get through to the next moment and self-improve as much as I can. It's been three months, and I vacillate between feeling great, then the next moment, my heart aches, and I'm in tears.
I can feel you. It hurts a lot.
I feel you too!
It's going to be okay no matter what. I am going through the same things right now it is difficulty but It will be okay.
כולנו באותה סירה חברים. צריך להיות חזקים
Same here
My ex definitely felt the loss and tried to reconnect with me. Unfortunately for him, I used all this no contact for 9 months to grow and heal, and don't want him anymore. 😅
I'm struggling on this RN but I actually do want freedom though I'm in a confused state on do I actually want him this was a 5 yr thing.that actually wasn't supposed to happen
This is my entire point. No contact can only work if you no longer want the person anymore. It’s spiritual. Now they come back when you are not interested.
after how long did he reach out?❤ I am on day 18 of NC
She said 9 months @@Swiss_Girl
What goes around comes around. Women often think they can find perfection out there and then reality slaps them in the face. 😂
No contact can only have an impact on your ex, if he or she has enough time for self reflection. If your ex is extremely busy with his/her life especially in a new environment, no contact can hardly impact them, and in fact it may even help them to move on faster. So keep only minimal hope about getting your ex back. Focus on yourself; let time take care of the rest.
I agree with the new environment.
moving on isn't the hard part....it's so easy to meet other people and move on...but if the connection was real, strong and unlike anything either of you have experienced it's not easy to come by- in fact, it may never happen again.
Ex broke up with me while studying abroad, aka new environment. She's coming back home in a week, I'm wondering if being shot back into the "old" environment would help my case still?
My ex moved to a new apartment 3 months before she ended our relationship. I moved her in. Most of the furniture in her place I gave her to use from my house. She has chairs on her patio that I built for her. Even the car she drives that I sold her, belonged to my dad. She still uses my Netflix account and shares my Costco membership. How does she not think about and miss me everyday when everything around her reminds her of me?
@@jonstallo9738 I FEEEEEEL THAT MAN, I even helped paint her room on top of all the moving
My partner and I split up.
I broke her trust.
I went into no contact for 2/3 weeks and I was in a bad place, I listened to your videos which really helped especially through the really sad times.
I actually broke No Contact.
We started talking and I reasoned that our relationship was worth fighting for, it took a long time (8 months) but we are back together and very happy. ❤
Every relationship is different and there are no hard and fast rules.
If you both still love each other and can see a glimmer then why not give it your best shot?
I did not I do not regret it.
And how is it going?
Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counsellor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
I lived and breathed coach lee when I was going through a break up at the beginning of 2022. Now almost 2 years later, I am completely over my ex which tbh at the time I didn't would be possible... it does get better, break ups are fucking hard but there is life on the other side. Haven't seen or spoken to him since the day it ended & I happily plan on keeping it that way forever.
What's great too is that once that person has been out of your life for a while you stop looking at them through rose-tinted glasses and see them more and more for what they really were - a measly human being with flaws, who holds no control over your happiness or self-worth. Hang in there everyone!
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to move on, I really loved her so much i can’t stop thinking about her and the memories we shared. I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail. I’m frustrated, and i don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts, but i can’t. I don’t know why I’m saying this here, but i really miss her and i wish i could get her back.
I have been in such a situation. My relationship ended about three years ago, but i could not let her go. So i had to do all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back. We are back together, and i must say i am enjoying every moment.
Really? How do i find one please?
Her name is Maurice Gleti, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
Thanks Ken, i really appreciate.
If you're reading this feeling wounded right now, trust Coach Lee. It feels wrong to follow his advice. But it works.
Hello Coach and everyone here. I did no contact for 17 months. We reunited, my ex said everything Coach Lee says, about them wanting to reach out etc. We rekindled, and broke up 2 months later. Neither of us had done the proper work on ourselves OR we just arent meant to be together.
Im in no contact again for 6 months. You WILL get better. I promise. Coach Lee's videos have helped me..thank you Coach 🙏
@Messyhead9teen
Did you both date others in that 17 mos?
17 months,,, haaa😮
That's a very long time
You didn't worked on yourself for 17 months? You had all that time
@patricialiardi3782 I dated other people but compared them to him. I couldn't move on properly. He said he didn't date anyone within that 17 months 🤷♀️
19 months no contact after a 22 year relationship, I think it's safe to say they're not coming back.
My heart goes to you...😢
They will only contact you when the notice you have moved on and become a better version of yourself, but they will contact to check on you not to get back at first. If you act needy if they contact they will run away again !
You shouldn't have pursued no contact for a relationship that lasted and was enjoyed for 22 yrs.
@abiyubeshah yes, I should have and I did. Once someone decides to walk away, I'm not chasing them. Additionally, once a person is unfaithful, I'm done!
If they cheated then why are you waiting to hear from them
Yeah it's best just to go to no contact helps you move on if they really want to be with you they will reach out just remember no contact isn't about getting them back it's about getting yourself back
the no contact principles also work during a relationship where you want more commitment. in short, meaning: you must show that you are constantly growing. so they will be fearing that you might get better (more attractive) than them, you must show that you also have other interests than this person, show that you aren t depending on them emotionally, you must show in a subtle way and with calm that they can lose you. not with words but with actions. just a small example: he cancels your plans together last minute. no worries, you let him know that you truly understand and you go out with friends instead. and let him know how much fun you had. just like for you it was maybe better that he had canceled. but don t say it exactly. let him feel that your life is awesome even without him. also, always mirror his attitude towards you. don t overgive. another thing, remember that fear of losing someone can transform an avoidant altogether. you must convert their fear of closeness with the fear of losing. as the final word.. don t be obvious in your strategy but subtile and constant.
If I go a few weeks without someone speaking to me, I'm done. The worst feeling I'm the world is waiting around thinking. After 4 months long gone.
My ex broke up with me over a year ago because she liked being alone. Within two months (I have since learned) she had a new relationship... and continued to reach out. I kept thinking she was going to come back. I won't bore you with the details. I wish I could be friends her but I can't. I just can't see her in any other way as someone I wanted to grow old with. I miss her so much even with it being over 15 months. I want this pain to stop.
When she told you she liked being alone, that was just her polite way of breaking it off with you. When they say things like that, they have no intention of reconciling. Also, you're choosing to hang on to the past. 15 months is a long time to still be holding on to what doesn't exist anymore. It's your responsibility to learn to live without that person. Time alone won't make a difference, you have to actually make the difference.
@@sloanmagnum5009 Forgive me for this is a winded reply. I absolutely agree with you. But she also looked me directly in the eyes and said she still found me attractive and saw a future with me the day we broke up. I truly think if we had actually just talked about how we were likely spending too much time together, we could have salvaged something - changed the way we were dating. I would have been MORE than fine with that.
She drove me home that day; we hugged and cried for a LONG time. She insisted she didn't want anyone else. I told her specifically I didn't want to be friends that day because I couldn't fathom it - and she kept coming back, reaching out - after I did NC (30 days; then another 25; etc., she asked me to dinner after my first 30 days of NC - never happened because our schedules couldn't match; 2nd dinner she arranged - she 'forgot'. For each NC by me - she kept coming back (and still does - as recently as Thanksgiving). I admit, since day 1 of this - I could be better at standing up for my needs and wants but I wanted that discussed in person.
Even me eventually telling her exactly how I felt (full details) - and asking we not talk, that I needed silence between us because I love her and cannot picture us as friends - she came back AGAIN (this was April this year). Please note - I did NC without even seeing a video like this until two months into my break-up.
I'm struggling more with the fact we had so many serious conversations about our values, lives (we're both much older), we knew we wanted a long life together - saw the future (marriage)... you get the picture. From the words hello, seeing her (our first two 'dates' were on the phone) - she immediately felt like family - and she expressed the exact same. It's just a bit harder to swallow / comprehend - even with knowing I have to do the work. It's not that I don't want to - it's just hard at times. Sorry for the long winded response. And thank you for your response.
She cheated on you. A girl doesn’t just jump into a new relationship after 2 months.
She was likely in contact with this person and meeting up while with you and was waiting for the best opportunity to monkey branch when it was safe to do so.
I wouldn’t worry about it. You deserve better than that.
Once you see her just as an acquaintance, who has nothing to do with your life, the pain will stop.
@@sloanmagnum5009does that have the same meaningg when they say they don’t want to be with anyone , meaning is it always another new person
10 months into no contact and I got a “ Happy Thanksgiving”. I was civil and said ‘thank you, blessings’. Back to no contact. Not pursuing breadcrumbs at this stage.
Smart guy
you caved! I wouldn't have replied...this person left you!!
@@sbeth82scwatch his other videos, when the dumper contacts you do respond. Don’t ignore but keep it mysterious.
This worked but as soon as we started seeing each other again, she was also seeing someone else behind my back. I walked away and after 3 months, she reached out again. This time, I left her on "read". Now the bread crumbing has stopped... so far.
She came back after four months. Shocked me!
did u take her back
I hope this is true because I'm in close to 5 months and nothing from her
How long were you together? What’s the story if you don’t mind sharing?
Sana all
Im at 1 month and a half
Most of you should just let the relationship go and work on improving your self and moving forward. Sure, you read comments about people getting an ex back but when you read the comment, they stated that they just got their ex back recently. Trust me, if you revisist the comment and ask for an update, the relationship usually failed again, or they just dont reply because it failed. It's really only a small group of couples who getback together permanently, they usually break up for superficial reasons. Your true companion is out there waiting for you to let go of what wasnt meant to be. Your feelings are literally just a chemical reaction in your brain. Once you learn to control them and see things in an unbiased view, youll start to feel so much better and realize you deserve better if you were a good partner. If you got broken up with because you were a bad partner, then you get to reflect create change in your life that can produce a more positive outcome.
You never know if you never try, there is such thing as right person wrong time , reletionships are supposed to be worked on and just giving up is easier than trying to make it work , you have a point there and i agree with some of ghe stuff. You people have to understand that yes it is possible that your actual parthner is out there yet if you dont try with this person youll never know.
@@-matya5543 if you're not compatible on core beliefs and personality then the relationship is almost certainly doomed. Nobody should have to suffer or work hard for a relationship. Some people are just scared to let go and accept that the person they were with isn't "the one".
@@-matya5543 Exactly. I wish there was some kind of a marker on people's forehead which told us if they would give up on you when circumstances turn bad for a while.
Let the givers stay together, that way. And let the takers be with whatever newest thing that has caught their fancy.
Would save a lot of our time, investment, emotions and energy.
You generalise and surmise without proof, just your belief that what you think is true.
@-matya5543 healthy relationships do not require work. Compromise sure... but it shouldn't require work
My ex broke up with me 23 days ago and I am so heartbroken. Your videos are helping so much Lee thank you
trust no contact
Hugs! 🫂 Focus on building a new life. Maybe he/she will come back but start building a new life without them. Consider do you want them in you new life? Maybe you might or might not.
Just wanted to leave this comment because all I ever saw during my time watching these videos was the hard luck stories, and thought to myself if anyone ever gets their ex back, they don’t have a need for these videos anymore. I did after 3-4 weeks of being broken up with. She came back, I want to let people know what Lee says couldn’t have been more accurate in MY situation, thank you 🙏🏾
Did she reach out first?
@@kagamitaiga9167 We never went more than 3/4 days at a time without a nice, casual interaction. It was only when we started to give eachother actual space and listening to the advice in these videos that things started to become productive. Yes she did
You have not only saved my relationship but saved my life. Your videos are a god send. Because of you I have my family back and my little two year old girl is immensely happy to have mommy and daddy by her side. God bless you for what you have done for me and my family but also for all the other men who needed you. We literally love you bud.
It's been three months for me. I've stopped obsessing about wanting him back in my life. I wanted him back early on, but that was because of the pain that being rejected by him caused. It hurt and I thought if he returned, it would assuage my bad feelings. That's not the case anymore. Now, I'm focusing on myself instead of getting him back. Now, I'm focused on my diet, I exercise daily, and I'm in therapy twice a week. If he contacts me, great, and if he doesn't, that's great too.
We were together 8 years and broke up. Apart for 3 years and ended up getting back together! For a year it was wonderful. I thought she had really changed. I know I had. Therapy, lifestyle changes etc did me a lot of good. But her old habits started coming back and after another 6 moths, dumped me thru a FB message again. Always hides behind email, Facebook etc. Can never face anything in person. I have to be done this time. I need to heal and move on for good. People CAN come back, but it is not always going to give you what you want or need ☹
specially when there fake about there true intentions i still watch the videos. but therapy is next step for me so i can get over her and find someone that truly cares
To people who say „why would you want your ex back”, „ex is an ex for a reason” and „they left you once they will do it again” - what are you doing watching and commenting on these videos when you’re clearly not a target audience? Just curious.
Oh my god, I get annoyed reading these comments too and I can’t help but think if these people feel so strongly like this then why even watch these videos cause it’s clearly not for you.
My ex has left me twice but I still want round 3 😂
Hahahahaha @@idiamonddoggx
@@idiamonddoggxsame
Exactly resistance mindset but u are here for what 🤷🏽♀️😂
Welp, it’s been a year. So I guess there’s not coming back… honestly I’m okay with it. Onward and upward.
I just had to come back here and thank you very much for how you changed my life...a year ago after my then girlfriend left me, your videos kept me going and made me realize myself worth...Thank you very much Sir
My ex left me after years and your videos helped me more then you know. Thank you from my heart. Unfortunately I’m back here 😢 It’s terrible how broken heart hurts
MojRa, Let me recommend Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit which will help you immensely. There is a discount today.
myexbackcoach.com/ebk
Discount code:
2A53FC
This Kit has strategies for every situation including yours.
Good luck to you.
Same here, I watched coach Lee after my break up in 2019, up till 2022 when I found love again and I stopped watching, now I'm back one year after. Our breakup was terrible, but I'm healing now, and am opening to get to know someone new
NC may not always work but it is an effective way to get your ex back. My ex came back after 2 and half months of breakup and 2 months of NC. And it felt different. The relationship felt stronger. But he went on to do the same thing. After going into NC for 21 days, I reached out. It was a bad move. I aggressively (not physically or by verbal disrespect) tried to make him understand why breaking up was not the solution. I was humiliated. I vowed never to reach out first. That was 3 weeks ago. There are days when I feel so low and miss him but I'm not sure if I want him back. My mind says no, while my heart wants him back. I just hope I can take the right decision. Staying in NC helps a lot.
Stay strong sis
I think I just nearly had a heart attack guys….ive been watching a lot of these no contact videos to help me cope and I’ve just realised I’m still signed in on her tv 😩…so if she’s gone on UA-cam on tv all my watched no contact vids will be there!!!!…sign out on your devices fellas please 🙏
damn bruh gg its over for you
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Im 2 weeks in no contact. Its so hard but Ill be strong and hopefully he will come back.
No contract works better for men who got dumped than for women who got dumped. The best way for a woman to win back a guy is to get in good physical shape and go to finishing school on how to be a great wife.
Blocked everywhere by them... Think that's them making a decision and sticking to it. I wish it wasn't so. Breakups are good because you realise how much you loved them. For them it's probably how little you loved them.
No Contact works , Coach Lee has EXCELLENT advice. Take care of yourself & then …….
Thanks Coach Lee 😘❤️😘
No matter what you tell her, she is not going to change her mind until and unless she chooses it herself. So why waste your time and energy worrying about something that's out of your control? Take a break, be kind to yourself, live life and be happy.
Make her jealous during no contact that worked for me last time
@@Jewel_Screaming_Chango8387how
This advice works so well that he came back too soon before I even got to the next video and I'm not ready !!! I am doing my best to stay calm and friendly but He was my world and now I'm aware that walking out on me was so easy for him I'm scared to try again.
I don’t understand it, one minute we were doing great, then the next he was saying he’ll never give me another chance. But I don’t know what o did. I was going to stay overnight and the conversation was fine and then said “your not going to wake me up because I can’t fall back to sleep” then he said “he’s not going to give another chance”. I haven’t talked to him since July 19 and have completely avoided him. But I’m in a gazzilion pieces. How do I get through
Them dumping is a win. Its not a loss.
Everything Coach Lee says is spot on. Trust the process. I know your current situation hurts. Stay strong for your future self. My lady is a Dismissive Avoidant. Over 5 years of living together we’ve broken up and reunited so many times I’ve lost count. I do not protest or plead. Half of the time I helped move her stuff without saying a word or being awkward. Understand I learned each time. The first time she called the police on me.
Now is the time to build YOU 2.0
Go to the gym and listen to It’s the End of the World by R.E.M. in your AirPods. Good breakup song. Listen to the lyrics.
Mr. Lee thanks so much for these vids, you have given me so much power and energy, 6 days no contact and getting stronger daily
It's four weeks for me and it's so hard!!
This is excellent advice. The pursuer vs prize is something I really needed to hear today. Thank you, I've been pursuing all my life, I see that it's not working now. I haven't felt like I deserved love. Time to fix that.
bolicious7606
We ALL deserve love, and when your time comes, my friend, you will know it. 💕
I’ve always gone by if don’t expect anything you won’t ever be disappointed if anything it makes you grateful when it does happen. And I’ve always been happy when I had been alone and never felt lonely.
listen to this guy he talks a lot of sense. It's important to show strengh, but remember these are only guidlines and every situation is different.
I’ve been following coach lee for three years now. I promise it’s almost fail
Proof.
So much stuff required to make it work, sometimes it is easier to move on.
Honestly watching these videos especially Lee’s videos it helps me get through the days I got broken up with three days ago and it’s been hell for me,before we broke up my ex told me she needed time,space and wanted to heal, at the time she said she was unsure if she wanted to get back together with me in the future which honestly has crushed me coz well obviously I still love her dearly , I can only hope that after time has passed she will come back I’m not going to break the no contact I can’t anyway I’ve been blocked on everything however she has done this before and after sometime she has unblocked me so hopefully after she’s had her time she will but for right now ima just listen to the advice I’ve heard through these videos,keep doing the no contact,work on myself and focus on myself,it’s only been 3 days and it definitely feels like everyday so far gets harder then the last but eventually it’ll be okay,I’ll try to keep this updated especially after if she does or doesn’t come back,Good luck everyone!
I was just typing 💬 same for me it’s been a week for me ! I absolutely hate it !!!! Especially as the holidays come etc … and I’m use to doing everything with my man
Brother!🙏🏼 …sounds ilike my story 😕
You're just torturing your self. Your ex is playing immature childish games with you. They're unsettled internally and will use you emotionally with no intent to take you serious
hey brother, any updates?
@@laolooo oh yea,well she started dated some dude 4 days after the break up,which means she has been cheating on me behind my back ofc and I’m done with her no fucking way in hell I’m taking her back,been working on myself made some new friends that honestly enrich my life more then I could imagine and honestly haven’t felt better,so yea that’s my update,if any of you guys are struggling best advice I can give is just focus on urself,mentally,psychically,emotionally and financially you’ll come out a much better and stronger person and you’ll find someone way better then ur ex,everything happens for a reason and sometimes things just aren’t meant to be no matter how hard you try if the other person doesn’t want to try then that should say all u need to know, just some of the many things I’ve learnt from this experience, take care all
I can do no contact and i must. He has accused me of manipulations and narcissism. I thought we were so happy, had no reason to manipulate.
Common trait of a narcissist is to accuse the other of it first.
Keep the faith and believe they will come back ❤️
I think it‘s bad advice to respond „casually“ once your ex reaches out casually with a simple „how are you doing blabla“ and acts like nothing happened… the ex reaches out because he starts to feel the loss in no contact and he wants to check if he still has access to you. if you respond like nothing happened you snap him right out of the feeling of loss back to the relieve stage and acually help him move on and keep you on the side as a back up plan. also it shows a lack of self respect, after they dumped you because they did not see your value, and now you let them come and go as they please…like a doormat. no way the ex would feel respect or attraction to this lack of boundaries
I think his advice would work when enough time has passed. Probably more than a year.
If your ex reaches out more than a year later and you do not respond it's likely that she thinks that you are still angry and that's is not a healthy sign...
if your aim is to get them back, then yes you absolutely should respond. Match how they talk to you or even go one stage lower of showing interest. but be polite. if you don't respond then they will feel rejected in a sense and may never try to reach out again. That's very counter productive don't you think if you're trying to get back with them?
However if you feel like you yourself have moved on, then yes don't bother responding as you've now realised you don't care for them any longer
I did respond, since he sent a long text, but nothing really significant… so I respnded polite and shorter than his message and I asked what his intentions are of texting me. his answer was „I am just i terested in how you are doing“ so for me it was clear, he is not ready to get back together, he is just wondering how i could stay away and his ego was hurt. So I responded to that that I understand but that this type of contact would not work for me. and that‘s it. back to no contact. I am not willing to catch up with him whenever he feels like to ease his anxiety of losing me. now he knows that I value myself more and that he can‘t just keep me on the side without wanting to get back together. truly this kind if contact would only hurt me, why would I do this to myself
I think that’s a very good point. If they reach out, do respond but not like everything is forgiven. Just a polite, reserved answer. Nothing that makes him/her feel better about it.
By far one of the best videos I’ve watched regarding this.
Coach lee, I watch these videos and they silence the negative voice in my head. I believe in NC. I know she’s not 100% going to come back, but I know if I keep the faith and use your strategies, I’ll be ok even if she doesn’t.
You only have to take it one day at a time MVP.
Been in no contact for over 3 years Lee. Haven't heard from her 😢😢😢😢 How could i really mean so little. It's the silence that kills me.
At this point you really need to move on with your life. I’m sorry but you will do yourself a favor to try to let it go.
It's not that you meant so little, it was probably just not meant to be, but they did care about you.
You're worthy of love and it's out there waiting for you but you have to find it in yourself first. Work on your self concept, set goals for yourself, get mentally/physically/spiritually healthy and get excited about moving your amazing life forward x
Friend, you must find someone new and forget her. Your life is passing while you mourn her. There are other good people out there worth meeting. Please stop wasting time on someone who doesn’t deserve you. 🙏🏻
@@lamann2437 aww thank you for saying this. I really wish I was able to but I just think about her a lot each and every single day. I just feel like I need that text to at least know she thinks of me because I cant seem to overcome that silence. Obviously that text is never going to come and it just breaks me
I cannot express enough that people learn from this.
I was that person who spoiled my ex and chased her and made her feel like the prettiest girl in the world.
She abused it. All my friends hated her..Scale was tipped. Like he said I just grew tired and out of love with her. Stayed cos I didn’t want to hurt her but she thought she had a hold on me. Instead of being appreciative and work on issues she said let’s break up randomly. The moment she mentioned the word break up I was gone before she could blink and relieved….
I like her but not in love anymore. And was so glad to save thousands of dollars afterwards. No more booking yachts, Dubai trips, it was over lol.
She’s still trying to come back but now I look at her and it’s like I hmmm no thanks I’m good.
So she only like for money 💵
@@lateashaevans4579 🤷 idk. I think there was a lot more but she’s irrelevant now so it doesn’t really matter. Even though she wants us back together, I’m so uninterested she lost her charm I don’t see her the same. I’d rather be friends.
@@chellochello9023 that good you see her bs and I'm glad you learned from this
Even if I don’t get my ex back for the second time. I am convinced Coach Lee is a genius. He will not lead you wrong. Thank you coach Lee. For all of this exceptional advice. I truly appreciate all you do.
She breadcrumbed me twice in the last 3 months. She did not mention anything about wanting to get back together. I didn't either. Last time I heard from her was over a month ago. I stayed in my lane and acted indifferent and she has not reached out since. I think she wanted me to chase but I refuse to do so. I'm trying not to think about her but she is on my mind often throughout the day. At this point, I do not believe she wants to reconcile and I will not be making any effort to try and change her mind either.
Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my 4 year relationship. My beloved partner chose to depart, leaving me with an unyielding ache. Despite my relentless efforts to reconcile, I find myself grappling with frustration and an inability to envision a future without him. Despite attempts to purge him from my mind, I remain haunted by his absence, feeling compelled to express my longing here.
Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?
I appreciate you providing this important information; I've just checked Father Akunna online, and wow, he's really genuine. Thank you so much again ❤
It will only work if your ex didn't leave for new "adventure". Or at least until new adventure will be gone from honeymoon and first crisis.
She comes back when she finds out the grass ain’t greener 😂
Then the choice is up to you my guy
benhartart9487. If you keep taking her back each time she goes to another guy, she will keep doing it. If my boyfriend/husband did that to me, I would definitely not trust him again. Just knowing they were with someone else, would break my heart, and I would lose TRUST..GOOD LUCK TO YOU ❤❤
Its long not always that
I think that the biggest question is that when an ex comes back after a period of no contact nine times out of 10 it’s because they’ve tried to replace you and have realised it’s not that easy out there anymore … we are now living in a world where nobody wants to commit
So a lot of the time when they come back, it’s not necessarily because they miss you and love you so much. It’s because they feel uncomfortable being alone, and they need to feel wanted again and not necessarily because I love you so much, that they can’t live without you.
In this scenario, it is also very likely that as soon as someone else comes along that takes their fancy they will dump you all over again leaving you feeling even worse
I think that when somebody breaks up with you is to realise that you are the prize and move on to somebody who would never leave you in a heap on the floor ❤
It worked! Thank you so much coach Lee
Happy for you. May it last forever.
@@CaptainNagaland thank you
Congratulations how long did it take?
how long?
He called me 10 days later. He wanted to check on me. I told him that if he wanted to talk he could call me when he is available.
No contact worked but also have to work on yourself to better yourself and they will come back
We all think you're great..you've helped me enormously ❤❤🇮🇪🇮🇪🇮🇪
Thank you for such kind words.
I went over two years with no contact, she reached out a few times and I said if she wasn't open to something simple like playing a boardgame that I wouldn't be available to give life advice. She got married to some guy and their dynamic looks identical to our old dynamic except he's kind of fat and average. I think I have too much fire and ambition to hold a long term relationship where my partner feels secure and valued, and I learned through all this that changing that about myself for someone causes them to lose attraction to me anyway so I'm just going back to more casual relationships. Some of us just aren't cut out for marriages.
Wow. That's a very thorough response, I appreciate it. @@alaalfa8839
When I say casual relationships, I don't mean casual sex. I mean ongoing relationships which aren't exclusive and where we don't move in together. It's time consuming, but I did that throughout my twenties with minimal heartbreak. And the women who I was involved with never shut me out entirely as they tend to after a more normal monogamous dynamic. I suppose the term floating around for that currently is "situationships." What they lack is the opportunity to build eachother up and have children in a functional setting where their development can be prioritized. It's my responsibility to foster a dynamic where such a thing would be possible, but where my spouse's attraction is dependent on my guidance and vision and excellence I can't cut corners on my work, my hobbies or my physical fitness. We call that narcissistic, but it's the major driver of her attraction toward you. And attraction and respect are the cornerstones to maintaining her investment.
The whole no contact approach to managing breakups is based on this approach, is it not? A person who is indifferent toward you must be of higher quality than the person who is eager to chase you. And not just after the breakup, it also ruins a lot of marriages when men are too eager to please, plus the covert contracts so called 'nice guys' attach to things along the way, often unwittingly. I don't know Sam Vaknin, but reading Robert Glover's 'No More Mr Nice Guy' was a huge leap forward for my understanding of what I was doing wrong when I tried to be a husband instead of a lover.
NC helps give hope through suffering so you dont feel completely dead inside. Ive watched acouple videos but now i dont think i want him anymore. The thought makes me feel sick. Maybe this was a blessing. Its been 5 days. Everyone and every relationship are different. Had wonderful times with him but he ruined it.
it's been 15 for me and he ruined it too.
Update?
This isn't going to work. She's with someone else she moved on so fast. she's not thinking about me. And she's not coming back I know this in my heart and soul.
TELEM, If she moved on so fast, she REBOUNDED. When you rebound that fast, there is no way she will stop thinking of you. She found a band aid, and it will not work! Why did you two break up? Please give a little more information. Are you married, single? Thanks.
does everyone feel like i feel like you messed it up so bad that there is absolutely no chance that she will come back?
It will get easier as time passes. You'll realize how much you loved them and slowly you get feeling of not being loved when you were together.
Ive been no contact for 5 months now. Shes sporadically reached out here and there but disappears upon a response. No begging, nothing. At this point i dont feel theres anything i can do. Ive dated. Ive talked to people. Nothing. I dont know what to do. I dont know if im making a mistake in not making an effort towards her. I focus on myself and career, but i feel unfulfilled by everything. I just want to sleep and never wake up
You still have her up on a pedestal. You need to put a vision of yourself on that pedestal.
I went no contact with a guy I’d been dating. He reached out from time to time and I think I did reach out once but I was never trying to get him back. I was interested in someone else. Anyway, 6 mos after the “split” he asked to see me again and asked for another chance. Keep in mind though that we were never officially together and he had never wanted space from me so I don’t want anyone getting false hopes when looking at other examples. Every situation is different. My point is that it can happen.
I’m so scared of never getting over them. I’m so afraid, because right now; they were everything I ever wanted. We mutually agreed to breaking up as he had his own mental health issues that were making things very hard and I also wasn’t easy. We had such a strong and very close bond. He told me he wants to see me again one day and cross paths, but right now we are both just feeling very intense, heavy emotions and we need time to feel like ourselves again. I feel so afraid that he will just end up forgetting me
My heart is crying, but my eyes don't. Why should I feel this pain? Why is it so painful? 💔
Because there is no pain like the pain of rejected love, and there’s no medication to reduce the pain. You have to white-knuckle it. What helped me the most was staying VERY occupied. Go on a road trip. Soon as you get back, plan another. Take up a hobby or restart one you put aside during the relationship. Meet as many people of both sexes as possible because it gives your brain other faces to focus on. It gets better, I promise!
Listen to Coach Lee, wether to get your ex back or to just get over your ex. I was on the edge of crumbling down until I found him, and guess what, I realised that the break up was the best thing that have ever happened to me, no matter how much blindsided you are right now, could be the best or that one person could be the right one and realised how good you are and come back. Doesn't matter, you are someone fantastic, and they are missing you out.
My wife offered us to be friends. I didnt give a yes or a no. (What do i look like a t.v. show) and i havent reached out unless it was necessary
about the kids. She has tried to get me to reach out by asking me to text or call her when i made it to my living space. I didnt, im doing my best to apply everything coach lee is saying.
Love your videos but I'm not sold on the attraction math. Sometimes someone breaks up because there might have been a life stressor in the dumper's life. Maybe something that caused a deep depression. Sometimes people don't feel like they can manage a relationship because they are having personal problems. Maybe it could be family stress. And there's times where say a parent or other important person in the dumpers life that didn't approve the dumpee.
coach you have to change your video thumbs. it took me so long to click on one of your videos bcs the thumbs look very weird. but here i am and you are the best yt coach online!
I honestly didn't think nor expect that these things actually work, until last night. This no contact rule is not a joke. It works in a mysterious way. 😅
I love you coach * LEE *...you have made my romancing life less hard...GRACIAS, MERCY, THANK-YOU!
Idk how I’d even act or feel if I did get my ex back. I feel like I’ve been played and betrayed. I guess this is because I’m imagining something new where she is still the same person and resents me.
Perhaps if that day ever came, which I’m coming to believe has a snowballs chance in hell of happening, she might actually want it as much as me if not more, and she would apologize and we could hopefully have forgiven one another. I think that’s the biggest barricade. One or both people can’t let go of what happened before. And at some point that resentment is going to come out. But a true heart to heart and consistency goes a long way. It hasn’t been all bad. We had a short relationship that was very intense but ended abruptly. Not like it was months and months of trying and getting nowhere. Idk, no contact at least will help me get over it all. It’s been 2.5 years since we broke up. Ofc we have been in contact recently with bouts of NC for months here, months there. Finally I’m doing it indefinitely until she reaches out to me.
My ex (who left) was calling me every few days and I was available for him- he called twice Wednesday and I didn't answer either and sent a thoughtful thanksgiving text on Thursday- no response. I was feeling like he could just have access to me whenever and it didn't feel good to me so I stopped responding. If he always has access to me he won't feel my absence so I think I made the right decision. He needs clarity that I'm the "one" well....get that clarity without me in your life at all.
Any advice for the holiday season during a breakup after a longterm relationship? The breakup was a months ago, and your videos were amazing at the start of the breakup, but i find myself watching your videos again with the holidays approaching. Thank you, Coach Lee!
I’m going through the same thing with my situation… it’s been one week for me … I’m over his listening to stuff like this !!! I hate feeling this way
@@mst8521Same here it been a couple of weeks for me. It’s okay though if it’s not them then there is somebody better
William, I have a video on it at ua-cam.com/video/gLUJbncTN1k/v-deo.htmlsi=9kA2mRcH6T3FGc1W but it depends on how long you’ve been in no contact. Between 3-5 months and beyond, it’s kind of a matter of risk/reward. And that’s up to you. You have lower odds after 100 or so days. So do you want to move on or wait longer with a goal to start the process of moving on in a time frame of 6 months or less. I wish you the best.
@@RealCoachLeeWait. Are you saying that is better to give up, considering the chances, after 100 days of NC? Being realistic, this implies some kind of gray area of inner conflict, between those 100 days and the day you really move on (usually it takes longer than 100 days or 3 months). You don't mention this any often in your videos...
And this sounds quite scary to be honest.
@@r.maelstrom4810not all hope is lost, plenty of exes come back even after 5 months, just focus on yourself and stay positive
Based on #2 Coach Lee, she reach out to me & said to me that she wanted to talk but at that moment I was busy so I say to her that I'm of to work & I can't see you now so can we talk a next time, cause I really wanted to hear her Coach. But because I couldn't talk at that time to her she started to date my friend to make me jealous. I really did❤️love that girl.
Do you think my ex-girlfriend still loves me, or will she miss me? Over those 6 years, there were times when we misunderstood each other. We experienced ups and downs, had arguments, but also cherished sweet and happy moments.
We seemed fine a week ago, but suddenly, she stopped answering my calls and texts. When she does respond, she simply says, 'I don't know' to any questions I ask. I stopped talking because I was hurt. After a few days, she broke up with me.
It hurts so much; my heart is shaking, and the pain courses through my entire body. I can't eat, I can't sleep. I'm truly in agony, and I don't know what to do.
And You are very handsome..and I am a man!....and there you are !..flowers for you!
I finally had to guts to wish her well after back and forth for 4 months. I know my worth and I will survive
He cheated on me after 19 years with a coworker for a year. He’s literally not allowing no contact but is now willing to commit to fixing things. We’re both in individual therapy and couples therapy at some point.
He left me. 1 year later splits up with the new girlfriend and sends me an abusive texts basically lying 🤥 about the past etc. Then his best friend sends me a fb friends request . The mind boggles.. 😅
During the process I’ve found out that I really don’t even like my wife anymore. Still living in the same house but much more bearable.
We spent 4yrs living together and the last 6months of that we're on LDR. She moved to a new city last June 2023 then she broke up with me July last year then after less than a month, she's already in a new relationship. She blocked me on everything and deleted me in her life like I never existed. I tried to go around the block last november then she blocked me again. I dont think she's ever coming back. It doesn't sting that much anymore but I can't stop thinking about her everyday and everynight. I love her so much and though I understand that she's happy with someone else now, I still can't get myself to give up on her, on us. This is just so hard.
What if you, as a secure attachment, broke up with them while you still loved them but because they crossed your boundaries and disrespected you.
I love ur work coach , it really helped me become stronger and respect myself.
I haven't heard from or had any contact with my wife/ex wife now for 2yrs,not at all after a 28yr marriage.. I'm just now starting to be able to accept I'll never see or hear from her again
Don’t let her steal any more of your time. Life is passing. Get back to living it.
Coach lee, i want to celebrate you for your work, youve indeed be so helpful to me with the information you put out in your videos.
Sir i want to ask, my ex was really mean and kind of disrespectful before she broke things between us. It was like I didn’t know her any longer, she even said i should move on. My question lee is ? Is there still hope, because it looks like she’s made up her mind for good, it was a LDR.
No it doesn't work brother I'm in no contact for 9 months now and it was LDR of 3 years, so you better move on and find someone new and no contact is best way to go.... 💪
Im at the point where i dont even think i want my ex back lol
How
Same tbh. It's taken 2 1/2 months (one of which has been NC) since the breakup and a lot of self reflection, but it really does get easier
I don't blame you. It's been 5 days for me and this few days of reflection has opened my eyes. Neither of us are perfect. There were some amazing times and after this, I don't think I could make any more good memories with him. the thought makes me sick to my stomach.
I'm hoping this time they don't come back. (Left me twice one month each time)
Coach Lee, i feel a little discouraged. I def was the prize and feel guilty for that. He did ended it all in angry call 2 days after the fight. Breakups are already so painful and In anger just layers up the wounds. As well as saying it’s all my fault because of my criticisms. Successfully made me feel guilty that it was all because of me that he was ending it.. just to finally come clean at the end of the call with what he’s been lying about the last 2 months. My body knew but he would deny it. I don’t think he would have admitted to any of it, but only finally fessed up to keep me away.
It’s a tough situation because if he felt like you were the prize and he was second, motivation for him to come back to that relationship is low or nothing. No contact is the best chance and perhaps you can prove you have changed. If it works it will be a marathon not a sprint.
@@RealCoachLee thanks for your reply coach Lee. Have you seen an successful stories similar to this?
I reached out after 2 weeks of no contact and jus said “hey how are u doing” now everyday I regret sending this text and I feel like I ruined my one chance I’m back in no contact and for good this time hopefully she comes back at some point but rn I’m focusing on myself
What was her response?
I feel like I’ve fumbled it in every way hahahaha but it was a great learning experience
I feel like most of your videos on based on secure people breaking up. My ex is insecure and has commitment issues. She continues running to new relationship without healing from the prior. We had 5 years together and her new partner is a lot less stable and much lower income with a few felony convictions. Referred to him as "love of her life" after only 5 months when he left for a few nights then came back.
This was soo very very good coaching! It really hit the spot.
Great Therapy, thanks Coach Lee.