What Makes Exes Come Back?
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- Опубліковано 29 чер 2024
- What Makes Exes Come Back?
Get Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit at myexbackcoach.com/emergency-b...
In "What Makes Exes Come Back," renowned relationship expert, Coach Lee looks more into powerful strategies following a breakup for those who want their exes to come back and want to know how to influence an ex's decision to reconsider the relationship.
Drawing from his extensive experience and the principles outlined in his article "Navigating the Aftermath of a Breakup: The Strategic Silence," Coach Lee offers invaluable insights into the psychological and emotional aspects that can lead to reconciliation.
Key Highlights:
Understanding Emotional Dynamics Post-Breakup: Coach Lee begins by explaining the heightened emotional state post-breakup and why strategic silence is crucial in preventing conflict escalation. He discusses how silence can be a proactive stance, demonstrating respect and emotional maturity.
The Importance of Giving Your Ex The Breakup: Discover how stepping back and refraining from contact can create a psychological space that is essential and often what makes exes come back. Coach Lee emphasizes how not fighting the breakup (giving them the breakup) can often lead to a renewed appreciation of the relationship.
Minimizing Negative External Influences: Learn about the role of external perceptions and how maintaining no contact minimizes negative interpretations from friends and family, shifting the narrative in your favor.
Reflection and Longing: Coach Lee explores how the absence created by no contact can lead to a sense of longing and reflection in your ex. He explains the transformative nature of this period and its importance in the potential reconciliation process.
Altering the Dynamics of Attraction: The video discusses how no contact can change the dynamics of attraction and perceived power balance, potentially reigniting interest and desire in your ex.
Conclusion and Personal Growth: The video concludes with Coach Lee emphasizing the importance of strategic silence not just for the potential of reconciliation, but also for personal growth and moving forward with dignity.
Throughout the video, Coach Lee provides real-world examples, actionable tips, and psychological insights, making this a must-watch for anyone navigating the complex emotions and dynamics following a breakup.
Whether you're hoping for reconciliation or seeking to understand the journey of post-breakup growth, "What Makes Exes Come Back" offers a compassionate, insightful, and strategic approach to dealing with one of life's most challenging experiences.
Subscribe and stay tuned for more insights from Coach Lee on relationships, breakups, and personal development.
Get Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit at myexbackcoach.com/emergency-b... - Навчання та стиль
NC works 💯 all the time ! Been NC over 12 months now , NC is not to get youre Ex back. Its to get you back ! 💯 happy new year all
Coach Lee can help get 'em back, but the hard truth is that oftentimes the better option is someone new. Unless you're the problem, which then means working on yourself first before getting into another relationship.
Stay on topic 🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️
It is the topic ye 🤡@@chrisredmansr7908
😂😂😂So you knew this and still decided to click on the video. You watched it and got the energy to comment 😂😂😂 very funny
@@codewithluq he is a fan of the coach so naturally he will click on the links just like all of his fans. Where are you from? That doesnt understand this?
@@codewithluq😂😂😂
If an ex monkeybranched on you do not take them back... they thought the grass was greener and left their long term partner to be taken out with the garbage... self respect comes before anyone
@@johntesoriero3382I feel attacked…lol
thing is, every woman monkeybranches when they ditch you.
If you are here you are probably hurting and waiting on someone. I've been here before and the comment section gave me hope. No contact is good , you also need to understand what made you two grow apart and work on it. These two are killers. It's hard to want someone who has left you , whose rejected you , it means that you are losing a little bit of yourself. Yourself respect, but it is also good if the person is worth it and you were the problem. Sometimes it take us miles to understand what's happening.... but when you know you love someone that's it. Believe in it... in how I met your Mother Ted always says " when you love someone you don't stop , even if the whole world role their eyes on you and call you crazy , especially then ".... be good and kind to yourself, go out eve n if you hate it, stay away for a while , have a good life. When I need to say goodbye to the people I love, I always remind myself that even life itself is temporary 💯. Be strong 💪
going on 3 months of no contact. im beginning to lose some serious hope that he is not coming back. i will say though every day i have felt better and better because i didnt beg and can feel myself slowly moving on. but thank you coach lee you have brought me so much internal peace with myself and i dont feel like i am at war with myself
It happend! I can‘t believe it. After 4 months he finally reached out. I did NC, deleted all his friends and family on social media, so he could not get any information about me. He texted me he was angry I didn‘t reach out 😂 He told me what he did for me and I should not forget everything he did.
I did everything Coach Lee said in his videos. THANK YOU!!!! You are the best!!!!!!!
*Coach Lee, great advice!*
He texted you angry because you didn't reach out and then said you shouldn't forget everything he did for you? Nope! Don't go back. That right there is a narcissist.
Exact,and he will dump her again soon,is a poisoning cicle
I went no contact for almost four months. He reached out to return a few of my things. I was on my way out the door to the airport so I told him he can leave them on the porch. Him reaching out turned into us texting a little at first to more. We spent a week together at the holidays and it was awesome. I think we both did some positive changing in the time apart. I’m much more relaxed about the situation this time and it has been fun. The no contact did work! Thank you Coach Lee! I’ve learned some great nuggets of information from your videos.
Hi 🌸 would you be open connecting 1:1 on this? I’m 1 week no contact and would love to hear about your journey and experience!
This doesn't always happen, guys. True, I stayed no contact for like 3 months after she dumped me and then she reached out. We ended up hanging out and if I'm honest, I was a buzz kill because I wasn't being fun and warm to her, I was being a bit more reserved and it was a mood kill. But to be fair she was giving hella mixed signals.
Its been nearly a month since we caught up. But I'm at the stage I'm starting to lose feelings for her after holding on for so tight. I think to myself "even if she wanted me back, how would I be the same?". And the truth is, I wouldn't. I'd have my walls up 90% of the time. I'd be worried about getting hurt again because she's confused about her feelings and her friends who influence her choices.
I so badly want it to be her. I miss her so much.
Lol try years.
My understanding from these videos I’ve watched, when you first meet up, you’re supposed to be fun, and making the best of your time with her, but time it! In other words, if you can, set it to like 1-2 hours. And then tell her you have something else to get to. That way you leave her with the feeling that you’re still a good time, but she’s left with wanting more. That’s my advice.
Great advice @@MATRIX19257
You love her for real, if you know she loved you back then, then take the risk.
4 month on no contact .. to someone who is hurting and panicking, I PROMISE you it does get easier..if you just turn that pain into personal work maybe you will end up not even wanting them back..
At first it will hurt AF, till one day the hurt fades away
"Fake it till u make it" fake happiness then you will end up happy!
I'm 3.5mths no contact. I'm dating other guys now but still want the ex back. It'll either be him or someone better. What's your approach?
@@MissBluebirddays if I may advise you.. don't date a guy if u r not that into him.. either u want him or not, if u still miss ur ex it will be hard for u..cause eventually you will end up comparing between them!
And for my approach.. I learnt how just let things be.. if my ex came back we will work it out, if he doesn't I'll find someone else better (cause I've been here before)
@@imaneelabid1009 thank you, good advice. I've only been on 1st and 2nd dates so far, have been really discerning and just enjoying the process.
Stop dating men if you’re not over your ex!!!!!!!!
Oml
@@XVNRX don't tell me what to do
I've been in NC for almost a year and a half with my narcissistic ex and all is right with the world. I purposely avoid places where I might see her. She's permanently blocked by phone, social media, e-mail, everything. She's asked mutual friends about me and even family members, but at this point, I don't even want her to know I exist. If I ever did run into her, I don't know if I could even bring myself to respond if she spoke. I no longer want to be bothered with her. I've moved on to a better and healthy relationship. Thanks Coach Lee!!
Stay strong, king. 💪
I remember I was deeply in love with a woman that left me and it killed me everyday since then, Now I just dont care anymore and god its the best feeling
I have been listening to you since the day i decided i would go no contact with my ex. I been listening to you day and night even when i am sleeping to constantly put sense into my brain so that i dont go contact my ex. After breakup, i apologised cause i made a mess and pleaded for two weeks just to get back the most cruel and inhuman response from my ex. After 1week of nc he texted me about our fav doner kebab which has been discontinued, i just replied will grab one before. Not asking him if he wants or any excitement at all. Today out of nowhere he called me and asked if i could go out to have the kabab and beer with him. I had to say no as i am outside of city to cope up with my emotions and to stop myself from running to his house. I will keep updated to yall what happens next. I said i will be free this weekend he said he will tell me when he can. Thanks coach lee. You have so much of my respect i cant even start to explain.
The timing of this is incredible. Thanks so much! ❤
I love her with all of my heart and I'm patiently waiting on her to change her mind. We have been in several face to face situations where I remain calm, and allow her to lead with the interactions and i follow. This is so I don't go ahead of her. And let's say we're really enjoying one another's physical presence after a divorce of a 5.5 year marriage. After the NC phase she came to me and cried and asked why I didn't fight for her. And I told her that I did but she still wanted the divorce so I gave it to her. And she cried more (This was about 3 weeks ago). But I'm happy to say that we're spending time making memories through little interactions and taking it slow. I think she just wants to be sure, so I'm giving her the time to be sure.. Hang in the there guys/gals.
Wow, there is hope! Women are often confused on what they want 😂
Im going through a similar thing, we’ve been together for 4 months and she broke up with me cause of arguments and my jealousy. I was texting her heavy to come back to me. Nothing works. Now I am on day3 of NC 😂
I don’t know what she is thinking, but maybe she is starting to realize my worth! Be patient brothas!
@@johnhernandez4763She is thinking that you are crazy bro. You are the cause of the break up from your jealousy and constant arguments. You need to go NC and work on yourself. This isnt about seeing your worth...
@@chrisredmansr7908the way I laughed at your reply go this guy😭😂😂…thank you 😂🙏🏾
these chicks dont even know what they want themself. they want to leave, then they'll cry why you arent fighting for her to come back. insane.
Happy New Year Coach Lee and to everyone who reads this . Be blessed and safe. Miss . Linda ❤🙏🏽❤
I find Coach Lee's videos very informative during the process. It sometimes give some hope of reconnecting with my ex. I'm passed month 3 of a break up, but NC for over 25 days. She send me a message, via distribution of funds that was made in her YT channel (I used to be a contributor to her videos), to see how I'm doing. However, I focused on myself - seeking therapy and additional help to improve myself.
9
"I need to work on myself" is EXACTLY what she said to me, after just under 7 years together. A mortgage and a dog together, I'm at my lowest ever.
If you were good to her apply the NC and she’ll return. Sending my blessings to you. Stay strong bro.
Really sorry about your breakup. Just let them have it...back off, for now. Focus your energies on building your other relationships with family and regular friends.
I know it’s hard but then if you level up and remain in no contact until they reach out , you will get them back and make a decision whether you even want them back in the first place
Hate to break it to you, but she left you for someone else. They always make up BS excuses like that when their eyes are elsewhere. Stay strong, brother. Hit the gym, eat healthy, watch Coach Lee's recent vid about getting over an ex, and find a new hobby (yoga worked for me). What's great for you will come, what isn't meant to be in your life will leave. You got this, king. 👊
That’s what my Bf said to me too, after three years. This breakup was the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced. But three months later I’m much better and you will be too. Going to the gym and planning weekend road trips helped so much-I urge everyone to try it. Get out of town and see new things. Of course at first you’ll be wishing they could see it too, but that goes away after a while. Force yourself to focus on how much you’re enjoying what you’re doing and seeing. It gets better, I promise! ❤️🩹
Day 4 of no contact, and I will say it’s definitely difficult, time slows down and you feel so hurt and empty, but I get up everyday strap on my boots and go to work. I miss her like crazy, and I would very much want her to reach out. I’ll take this time to improve as a man, and father, and become the man I’ve always dreamed of being. Unfortunately I’m learning all this through mistakes. The break up was not bad, I didn’t beg, I did tell her I didn’t want to end, and if her feelings come back I definitely want her to reach out, but I’m not interested in anything platonic. Anyway thank you for reading and I absolutely love reading y’all’s success stories, whether they came back or you are a much better person. Makes my heart happy for all of you. Anyone struggling I promise you aren’t alone, but you can do this!! Peace, love, and Godbless 🤙
How are you?
Hi Coach Lee, I am not sure if you still read comments but I want to say thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I come across your videos 2 weeks ago and I’ve watched at least 5 a day and it’s made me feel so much calmer about my breakup, any time I feel like breaking no contact I watch your videos. 24 days ago my ex girlfriend left me and we haven’t spoke for 16 days now. We wasn’t toxic and we didn’t fight but we bickered a lot in the last 3 months and we wasn’t getting on as good. I really do think we are great for each other and I’m hoping no contact brings us back together. Everyday I’ve gone the gym and I’ve worked on myself and I’m going to carry on doing that. I hope you all feel better soon. Thank you Coach Lee
Keep us posted!
@@powershift5439 will do!
Thank you coach 1 year strong and couldn’t of made a better decision with no contact
Thank you, Coach Lee!!
I had to come back to say, thank you for this channel. It worked out for me. We are going to give it another try, we were 4 Months in separation. I focused on myself, did NC. We have a long distance relationship, but we both now feel it’s the right decision to be together. Thanks a lot for your advices! Helped me a lot to focus & work on myself! To all out there, it works & patience has to do a lot with it :)! Wish you all the best!
can you give a little bit of a context? who brooke up and who reached out
As far as I understood, he broke up, as he said each of us should go their way. And many other things, so I said, as long as there is a wall between us, there is no way I can be a support. We could only see each other’s WhatsApp status & I focused on positive vibes & worked on myself. Well, I made a comment to his status & he called me the same minute. It was nothing deep, just good to see your doing well. That’s it. We talked :). Now the meet up is coming, we are going step by step. But what we said both, that we are going to start from 0. And many things Coach Lee said, were said in the conversation. I never said a bad word, or put status with heartbreak or saying men are all bad. It was more about healing myself. I also joined Buddhism to learn meditation & that helped me a lot with having patience & seeing things differently.
Hi Coach Lee! Thank you for always giving great support and advice. I've been following your advice for a long time, and I hope you can guide me through a bump in the road.
I did no contact, he could not stay away, so I let him move closer to me. Every time he'd give a sign that he felt something or would flirt, he'd shut down if I reciprocated. I asked him to clarify and he said he didn't know how to trust that things would be different and that he didn't love me romantically anymore, so I went back into no contact. He tried to stay away but broke after only a week, and though he wasn't ready to try again, he agreed to see if we could "reinspire" the trust and be friendly. That was 2 months ago, and he texts good morning every day, wants to know when I'm home safe, double and triple texts if I don't respond for several hours, we go on "dates" but I'm afraid he's just going to say that it's all platonic care again. I don't chase him, he initiates everything, but I can't seem to get him to admit that his attachment to me means more than what his words say. Where do I go from here?
I hope Coach Lee responds to this.. I'm curious myself.. my situation is somewhat similar.. and I'm positive coach Lee's could clarify.. keep us posted. Hope everything works out for you!
@powershift5439 Thank you! I hope everything works out for you as well!
Thank you soo much Coach Lee, I was on a 3 mnth break up and my Ex has come back expressing what he'd gone through during our break up. He expressed things that he'd never said before, as far as even saying that he'd move to my city if that's what it would take for us to be together again. If it weren't for your coaching of NO CONTACT. I was able to maintain a good posture and I won him back! unreal! No contact works!!!!! THANK YOU A MILLION TIMES...
Amazing 😍
I loved that you talked about "defense". Give them the break up... there is nothing defend on your part.
It’s the truth.
@@RealCoachLee
A break up is not a court case. 🙂
I really appreciate your videos and help!
I watched and followed your advice and went in NC 2 days after my ex dumped me because of faded feelings.
After exactly 1 week she reached out and asked me how im doing and if she can come and get some stuffs. I was very polite and acted normal and then she told me she had thought very much about reaching out to me but didnt for my sake.
I told her if u need ur stuff don’t hesitate, of course u should have ur stuff. And she said i didnt wanna reach iut because of my stuff.. and i just sent her a rose emoji and she responded “ oh how great u got over me so quick ☺️” “ or at least it seems like it”
I replied “ u know it take more than a week”
And then she havent replied…
I think shes confused and im gonna follow ur advice and stay i NC
I would too. She is disappointed you don’t seem miserable. Do you have my Emergency Breakup Kit yet? If not, here is a discount code that takes 25% off of the price. The code is 2A53FC. Just go to myexbackcoach.com/checkout/?level=1
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to move on, I really loved her so much i can’t stop thinking about her and the memories we shared. I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail. I’m frustrated, and i don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts, but i can’t. I don’t know why I’m saying this here, but i really miss her and i wish i could get her back.
Day 12’now. The way we left it was her telling me I’m clearly not bothered about her (because I hadn’t messaged) and that I was so rude and not to bother speaking to her. I’m actually moving from the wanting her back stage into the “I really think she was terrible to me and for me” stage. Think win win from here, her loss. Growing stronger everyday.
Good outlook bro, the More time passes the more you’ll most likely continue to feel that way, happening to me rn too
@@Iangonzalezz22 thanks man 👊 she did it over WhatsApp then wouldn’t speak to me on phone for a week as I tried and said we should really at least speak on the phone. We did speak eventually and said we really should speak in person and she just coldly said meh we will do at some point. That was around the time I said screw this, didn’t sound like she was bothered at all. She still has stuff here to collect so not sure what will happen with that. Also feels damn weird we haven’t even seen each other face to face in all of this. If she never gets in touch in future or gets stuff it’s gonna seem totally weird. Any thoughts?
@@Kb11466same thing happened to me-a WhatsApp breakup after three years of solid good times. Ghosted. Sounds crazy but I told myself that the man I knew was dead. This helped me start the Stages of Grief process just as I would any best friend who died. It helped. Then I found Coach Lee and started getting stronger. As far as her things, same here. I put all his things in some boxes and put them away. My plan is that once I dont miss him or want him back anymore, I’ll drop them off at his door while he’s at work. If he reaches out, I’ll follow Coach Lee’s advice. If he never does, then I will be strong enough to not care.
Good luck, friend. It really does get easier.
@@Kb11466hey man any update?
You are the best coach
3 months of no contact . i am happy and content . not thinking about my ex coming back anymore
Hi Coach Lee! Im a new subscriber and I just got dumped by my 4th month GF. Im about to leave WA state anyways where she lives, maybe that adds to her decision since it’s my last month here.
The reason of her break up is her depression is not getting better and she needs to be single. Also we had several arguments on my jealousy on her ex because they live together as co owners of the house. The guy is cool though with me although they communicate a lot and she cooks for him and laundry.
I realized after several arguments that nothing was really going on between them and I ddnt believe her. It’s too late and she told me “ I took her for granted “
She broke up with me while she’s in a 1 week vacation with her parents and brother. I fetch her in the airport and we slept together, but not sex just cuddle.
Then now she said she needs space and we are in NC after I texted her many things and she ddnt reply.
I also got her sick when I fetched her,some cold. She took care of me but she was pissed she got the cold too!
Now we are in NC for 3 days since she said she needs little space from me. She also got her stuff and ring 💍 back as she requested. I also got her a ring 💍 gave her in the airport, she wore it for a day and returned to me.
She said she’ll visit me this Saturday, but maybe just to really end things and give back my stuff. We’re In no contact for 3 days now after I text her a long message about why I am the right man for her and she ddnt reply 😂
Help coach lee! She’s so dominant and she say hurtful things when mad. But she is a good person and I know she cares for me but she also told me “she love me as a friend now”
And she never lies. All the things she says is true. So probably she don’t love me anymore as a partner.
Please help coach lee!
Have you guys tried the spitritual bit of it?😊 like prayer its so calming and there is so much hope
NC works, after 13 days she asked me how I was doing without asking anything else... the ground beneath her is crumbling and I hope she will reach out soon so I can ask her to meet up for coffee. Thanks coach Lee
My ex came back after 9 days of no contact... Thank you so much for staying with me through the hardest period of my life
Hope all is going well! Just be careful though 9 days isn’t a lot of time for people to really think and feel the way they need to. Just don’t want you to get heartbroken again
@@PurpleR67 i understand brother... Thanks
Im not sure what to say as I'm in shock..I went no contact and complete radio silence for 28 days was difficult but held the line..I was convinced that the ship had sailed but to my surprise she texted a Hey this morning..we talked about everyday stuff and then wanted explanations which I gave..I didn't ignore her and was gentle and calm. I dont know what will happen but I'm here to tell you all...this works
bye coac lee, you have helped me through the hard times. but i no longer want my ex back. can't keep seeing you on my page!! xd , much love
Ouch. Take care.
People need space.
Its not loss of attraction. Its loss of butterflies. Which is normal. And its worth asking oneself if its worth having that kind of person who chases butterflies.
When I got to the point I didn’t care I blocked him and went in about my life. Ten years later after our divorce . . . I’m engaged to him to be remarried.
Failure to replace you with someone better
9 year relationship ended few days ago, she said she doesn't love me anymore. Day after she broke it off she came and took all her stuff from my house. The urge is strong to reach out.
How you been feeling? That’s rough to go through
I have given up that he will come back.... life has to go on
I was blindsided by who I believe now (after looking into attachment styles) is a dismissive avoidant after 1.5 years together, telling me I did nothing wrong but she feels like she "operates better outside of a relationship". It happened a few days after Thanksgiving and completely took me by surprise.
Tried reaching out about 5 times within the next month to try to facilitate a conversation about what happened and if we could resolve or salvage anything but I've been left on complete radio silence. :/
I entered true NC for myself during the last week of December. A part of me hopes she eventually reaches out at some point, but a bigger part of me is telling me to prepare for the inevitability that I'll never hear from them again.
Sounds very similar to my situation. She’ll come back around. Don’t wait for her. Work on getting back to yourself. If she contacted you in this state it wouldn’t be good. Stay in no contact. Cry as much as you need to. Breathe. Watch videos about dealing with your anxiety. These videos help lots. But they’re not a cure all because the coach is speaking on situations that could be totally different from your current situation. And because you don’t know, the fear and anxiety intensifies at mentions of certain possible possibilities that you’ll never know if it has anything to do with what’s actually happening. Just focus on your own healing. I’ve been through this multiple times. Once you get back to you, she’ll be attracted to again.
@jwilcollective816 I've decided I've done all I can do (and it's amounted to nothing) so I'm not waiting anymore and indeed working on myself. I can't think that she'll come back around because then some semblance of hope will exist and I can't hope (too much) for it. I've never had an ex come back in any way that mattered before, so there isn't a reason in my mind that this situation would be any different.
Day 1 of NC!
Exactly He tried to tell Me He didn’t have time for any relationship
He told Me a lot , all I thought He wasn’t that into Me
Anything was just an excuse
Hey Coach Lee!
So my girlfriend of 5 months said she wanted to “take a break” on Christmas Day after having had lunch with her family.
The reasons were the usual things you hear when you’ve smothered them. Long story short, I called her the next day wanting to define the “break”(mistake on my end) but after a lot of back and forth the conversation ended with me just telling her to text me when she wanted to talk. Immediately went on no contact.
A week later(last Friday) she texted me wanting to meet up the following evening for dinner. Basically without apologizing for anything, I told her that I would have done things differently than I did, and that if we did try again I wanted a clean slate. She admitted to coming to dinner that night wanting to end things completely but left unsure, and needed time to think.
Honestly after that dinner five days ago, I don’t have that “heartache” feeling anymore, and am ready to move on. But part of me still likes this person.
My question to you is, would reaching out in a few weeks to get my stuff back break no contact? The items aren’t incredibly expensive, but they hold a sentimental value to me, and I would like them back.
Thanks for all you do and for helping me have peace of mind during the first week of the break up! I purchased the Emergency Break Up Kit and it was incredibly insightful.
After all the mistakes I’ve made after my break up 3 months ago I would advise you to wait at least one month before asking for your stuff. Both of you are still very emotional and the wound is fresh. Trust me brother give her and yourself sometime to process everything if not you will push her away.
@@jorgeorellana9212 I was thinking that too. I guess I’ve just been hurt in the past that I’m subconsciously expecting my “replacement” is already over at her place giving her the business, hopefully not… Thanks for the encouragement!
If that stuff is no big deal, just leave .
Don’t get it if it’s sentimental . It might remind you of them.
Walk away-Walk away-Walk away…
She broke it off. Then It’s up to her to call you …
Walk Away…
You will meet someone better ( unless you are n A- hole. Then it’s on you)..
If they miss you, they might contact you, but do your thing .
Live a great life, and I bet you meet someone else that’s way better…
Walk Away n don’t look back…
I agree with both the replies on this.. IF you're get your stuff back, wait at least a month.. and when you do it.. be cool, man. Like.. show no fear.. anxiety.. keep it quick and friendly, and get out..
If at all possible.. I think the better choice would be.. if you absolutely can't live without it.. leave it.. if she messages you about this stuff, again.. be cool. Something like.. "actually yeah It would be nice having that.. what day could I swing by quick to grab it so I can carve out some time?"
Coach Lee has a video talking about getting your stuff back.. and his advice was more like the second comment of just walk away.
@@powershift5439 Basically, the way I see it, the stuff is worth more to me than the slim chance that we’ll get back together. Considering we had dinner a week after the “break” and she wasn’t hostile and admitted to having a “good time” leads me to believe that I could get my things back, and as you’ve mentioned I’ll keep it short and sweet. Thankfully, I’m self aware enough not to be stupid and start being pathetic towards someone.
Yo!! I'm minding my own business I go to a punk show and my ex friend was there and we hung out all night! They pretty close but I played everything cool and had a cool time so I was hoping that would give me some rapport socially and showing others that are mutual to her see I'm doing good right .. then I go to a local flea market and I run into My EX SISTER!!!! They live together 😮 and she was hella happy to see me as if my ex and I was still together 😂 it was really great went extremely smooth and shes a blabber so she not gunna stay quiet... So that will be putting me in my ex head 🤟 😊 this weekend is helping me gain real ground in getting my babybug back I think I feel it. I jus have to keep no contact! Let this marinate and see what we cookin!!!❤
False alarm
The Problem with them Coming back, especially if they left you, you are inviting the very possibility of them dumping you for a second time, if they get bored or utilise their Hypergamy….
3 months NC...she got a lawyer to file. Use the time to better yourself. It's still the best way forward
And what if they are already dating somebody new? 😢 10,5 years relationship, they started dating someone 2 months after the breakup 😞 We’ve known each over for half of our lives… they are not like that 😞
I know how that feels 😩if him and I were dating it would’ve been 6 years now. Sigh.
I made a huge mistake that made her hate me, she use to tell me that she loves me but now she don't and she don't want to comeback , we use to fight alot but we use to manage it very well , acc to her I broke her trust it wasn't cheating but it made her hate me and said very vulnerable stuffs , idk will she comeback or not
If you've already apologized, don't contact her.
Work on yourself and also the area you messed up on. Forgive yourself for it and keep focusing on levelling up your life. Be patient..
same here man. Although she also did wrong, most of the time the reason was my behavior.
4 days into no contact after she ignored my last message, which was an apology for my side of the breakup 😢
You have to give it time. Be of luck.
Stay strong! You will feel better soon, I promise you. It's a struggle, but it's worth it. Take this time to work on yourself and boost your confidence by healthy habits. We all did mistakes that caused the breakup. And you need to show her you are not that person anymore. You can only do that by TRULY work on yourself and show independence by staying away. She needs time anyway to process her feelings. So get some use out of this period.
Stay strong mate. I’m in 22 days of no contact and some days are harder then others I have faith for all of us
Everything happens for a reason good or bad ill take it
Hi Coach Lee, my ex reached out during the no contact and said ‘’I’m grateful to have you in my life, happy holidays’’
I didn’t respond for weeks and then I thanked him and said me too, and we should talk soon.
Then he and I txt back and forth after that, small talk really. He asked how I was and I said I’m doing good (even though I’m not)
I’m still doing the no contact and recently he messaged me about something that reminded him of me and he wanted me to know that. I only responded with a heart emoji.
Do you recommend That I respond to his texts?
Or no contact?
It’s hard bec I know him well and I truly feel he wants to have more contact with me and wanting me to make more of the effort but I want him to really feel the loss in order to respect me but I also feel conflicted. Appreciate your guidance
When did your no contact begin and how long before someone spoke and who initiated the no contact? The true meaning of no contact is No Contact. Which means not responding to conversations or texts in anyway, including emojis. True No Contact is when you can take the necessary time for yourself to heal and grow, while working on some of your issues. It is also the time for the other to do the same. Perhaps in your case, since you are having intermittent texts with him, is to let him know you need some space for awhile.
He cried to me about how he didn’t want to lose me forever but needed to learn to be alone and become a better man. Not even 7 days later he put that he was in a relationship with this beautiful woman on Facebook. I can’t stop thinking about her because she really is so pretty and it crushes me :(
He in rebound. It wont last.
How did it pan for you? They still together?
I’m 16 days no contact! It’s hard because I love her so much
Move on show her that you can stay away from her
Well she doesn't feels the same way back, don't get stuck. My ex came back but it was a short lived thing. Once you learn to love yourself you will never want anyone who steps out of your life.
Hello Coach Lee. Here is my story.
We had 5 days summer romance. She was freshly out of a traumatic and trigger intense 1.5 month relationship. She told me she is direct person, and she says things how she feels. So yeah... she was comparing me with him - saying things are not so strong with me.... not so chemical... even saying kissing with me is not so exciting. I was dealing with it somehow, not expressing my thoughts about how that is not so kind and nice to say. I just wanted to be there with her and take care of her. Even she was telling me those things, she enjoyed there with me and canceled her flight back home for work to stay one more extra day with me there. Then, after a week - I visited her in her hometown, as I promised her. Even in the meanwhile she tried to make me not come, saying again It's not so strong with me.... but I said I want to come and let's see how things works....no pressure. And then, after 18 hours bus drive to her - she welcomed me saying how she don't want anything with me. Not even cuddles. I didn't say anything again. She took me out for a lunch and when we came back, we lay down in her bed to rest. I did hug her (she said it's ok) and then, 20 min after she ask me if I'm horny and yeah...we were doing everything back again. But I disappeared.... I was hurt by her welcome, but I didn't express myself out of fear of losing her (I realized that after). Basically, I was in fear of her, because she can be very harsh with words. So... she was probably thinking I'm handling her directness and insecurities.... because I feel she was just insecure after that traumatic breakup she had before me. But I wasn't. I acted reserved, part of not being secure how much she likes me (all the comparisons and then that cold welcome shower) and how much of love I can show her, and part of because I was unconsciously showing my dissatisfaction to her because the way she welcomed me. Even after that cold welcome, she did open to me, she stops with comparisons. But I was just reserved, overly emotional, insecure and not clear. So, I hurt her behaving like that, I suppose. And also, she lost attraction for me as a man, behaving so insecure, I suppose. Until she had enough - actually quite fast, just after 4 days there together. She gave me signs she is not happy how things are going... I tried to dig myself up, I let her know I'm aware things are not going well, but she was rough with me again.... not kind.... she was putting me down, saying rude things to me, insulting me when i needed support to open to her. Then after, she offered a hand to me to get back on the track... but I was again careful, not accepting her offer whole Heartly.... and some ego was there, yes.... there was too much ego from both sides, so we went into separation. In the end she asked me when I'm leaving, like she wants me to go soon (in a day or two) so I book a bus and left without saying goodbye while she was in apartment. Already that day I started messaging her and have continue doing that over 1.5 month after the breakup, with her never messaging back. Eventually she blocked me on WhatsApp and Facebook. I even went to visit her 2 times (first time before she blocked me), but she didn't want to see me first time and the other time she was not in town (I tried to meet her on the street and ringed her doorbell). After she blocked me on WhatsApp, Facebook and telephone, I called her from another phone, and she told me she will need to take further steps if I continue. Now is 2 and half months after breakup and that last contact (when she threatens me with authorities) was before 20 days. Even after all, i just want to be with her. I can handle her, just the whole situation surprised me. What to do?
tl;dr
I do not believe my ex will come back. We were together for 8 years, things just ended a week before Christmas recently due to a very bad argument in the beginning of December. (Mainly my fault) she got tired of me focusing on her family and the things I had to say about them because they were so immature and inconsiderate people. She lives with them so it is harder for me to avoid them, we tried talking about the future but she just didn’t want to get up and work or drive for 3 years and just barely got a job this April of 2023. Every time I tried to motivate her and eventually push her to get a job so we can get to building our future she’s get upset. But the argument happened, she said she’s been thinking about it for so long until I said some bad things that drove her out the door. She ghosted me, acted cold towards me, and even expected me to wait until after the holidays to get my answer of what will happen to us cause she wanted me to enjoy my Christmas Eve with my family. She changed her number due to me reaching out messing up no contact, and recently a couple of days ago saw a picture of her and someone she met at her job which she claims he is gay but I do not know. But it feels like it could be over for me and her after 8 long years.
Hey Coach Lee, I’ve been with my ex for 3 years and it was a wonderful relationship. We both loved and respected each other and had similar life goals. Marriage was in talks as well. However, we started getting too comfortable and complacent in the relationship and took each other for granted. I definitely took him for granted. When we met to address our issues, He said he was going through something mentally that he needed to figure out alone. He also said he feels there is a big communication gap between us. When I asked him if there was any hope for us, he said he didn’t know, he was confused and doesn’t know what he wanted, currently. He felt it would be best if we did our own thing. He also told me to try and move on and even meet someone else - he would accept it.
It’s been 3 weeks since the breakup and 10 days of NC. Do you feel we still have a chance?
Of course there is, 3 years is a long time. Remain in no contact and do the work to improve yourself during that time. I’m telling you they always come back - but ONLY if you level up, if you are the same person at the time of the breakup they will have no incentive to return. Men always come anyways😂
@@R2G1414thanks for your advice! I’m still in NC, day 39 and feeling proud of myself☺️ not sure if I want him back now but let’s cross the bridge when we come to it!
What if she was hiding me from her family because of our age difference even though she spent the whole relationship saying it didn’t matter and none of the tertiary things were going to keep her from marrying me and having kids with me? I cannot fix the age difference if it all of a sudden became a shocking issue for her overnight. (I don’t look anywhere near my age but she knew it before we started dating) She completely cut communication and made it clear we wouldn’t speak again. We were supposedly deeply in love and didn’t really have any problems getting along. Her family controls her choices and career. She constantly said she met me too soon and wish she met me after she had her career going and was separated from her family.
We also never connected on social media because she didn’t want family to see me. She was nervous about getting caught by church members or family members.
What if u dump him 4 online / msgs / to other women ? How do u trust & feel the same way after? I don’t think no contact changes that 🤷♀️
Coach Lee, bit of an important question here. If you or any other experienced followers could reply would be
Much appreciated. In short
“Does posting on social media, which they might see, interfere with the curiosity stage? So I guess you not contacting and kind of being gone is what causes the curiosity stage to develop. But if you’re posting about your life and improvements then they kind of can see that and satisfy that curiosity to a degree. Do you suggest not posting for the period of no contact? Thanks
💯 I have this question too. The advice is not to block them or unfriend them because it looks immature which I agree with, but then the advice is also to ideally ‘let them think you’ve dropped off the face of the planet’ which means you can’t post. But not posting, if you usually would post - wouldn’t that look like you’re not posting on purpose? Because of the breakup? The aim is to not look like anything has affected you right? So either way it’s confusing 😬
7th month of no contact but he started stalking me lately
I have a unique situation, I don't know how to go about it so any advice is appreciated, my ex left me a week ago because he wanted to work on himself to become a better person but also he is on fire for God, I'm not but I accept all of him regardless, he said 50% of why he left is because we don't have the same beliefs but that he didn't want to leave but I deserve better and will make a good wife someday, we have a newborn baby together which I'm raising on my own have been since she was born because he lives an hour away with no car so when he does come to see her he's coming to sleep on my couch for the night, but also literally the day he broke up with me he texted goodnight, next day good morning ect everyday since and asks for pics of our baby and says he misses me, I only answer when it's about the baby, but why oh why if he wants me to move on is he texting every single day?
Me and my now ex was in on and off relationship for 5 times now, and now I think I finally had enough and I'm ready to move on for good..
This is a very real situation. I have an ex right Now who left me for another person cheated on me without me knowing then told me 3 years after leaving me. The person they left me for sadly died in a car accident. This particular EX non narcissistic is now completely obsessed with getting me back. The no contact works. This took about 4 Years. Who btw I’m not interested in That’s the first story. Second story my stubborn narcissistic ex fake pages, added to group chats, flying monkeys. Folks when you leave THAT’S THE KARMA AND THAT’S ALL THAT IS NEEDED!!!!
Great content! Please I need some advice 1) I neglected her needs towards the end of the relationship. 2) She used a confrontation that we had to break up. I agreed at first.
3) I wanted to try things again, she didn’t want to. I over-persuaded her by showing up to her house and she just asked me to stop. Should I be using no contact?
Yes you should. She has asked you to and that means it’s doubled in importance. Do you have my Emergency Breakup Kit yet? If not, here is a discount code that takes 25% off of the price. The code is 2A53FC. Just go to myexbackcoach.com/checkout/?level=1
@@RealCoachLee Yes I have it. How do I access the ‘older’ version of the breakup kit? Also, I don’t feel like I formally apologized for my neglecting behavior, I did briefly say I was sorry for how I made her feel and told her I’d improve that if we were to try things again, which she rejected. Should I just remain in no contact indefinitely?
Was living with my GF/fiancee for about 6 months. She broke it off early December. I texted her 2 younger adult sons Merry Christmas and then Happy New year at midnight. Didn't text her. Mistake?
Coach Lee you're a cool dude!
45 days NC as of today. But I'm the one who messed it up. Whatever she's doing or thinking 1 state over (she moved) at least I'm not feeding her defenses. I'm hanging tough and leaving it be. If she doesn't contact me by around Halloween, which would be over 6 months, I'm start dating again either here or new city where I move. What else can do.
39 days of no contact I'm losing hope. I think i should move on
Yes
He BU on 26/12. His mum still chatting with me like nothing happened, she doesn’t know. Should I tell her or leave this task to him? I’m sure she won’t agree, she really likes me
Coach Lee, it’s been 3 months since the break up with only 1 month of no contact. It’s hell lol
Hang in there.
This gives all of so much hope. But is hope a good thing in these situations? I don't think so. How do I kill the hope?
You should redirect your hope toward your present and your near future. No need to kill it. Your ex-'s life and interests are like a spinning roulette wheel -- you can't control it, or even influence it. The "ball" is going to land some where, and all you can do is wish them the best. Holding on to hope that you will get back with your ex- also blocks you from fully grieving and healing. It keeps you stuck. And you are less likely to learn and grow in ways that are important to you.
Coach Lee…do these methods work with someone who has fear of abandonment issues?? My guy liked me, but wasn’t ready for the title of “relationship,” so we mutually decided to part ways bc we were wanting different things, & he would always say he was tying to save me from something that was bound to be awful for me. He knows I wanted the relationship, but wasn’t going to make all of the concessions on the hope that he would eventually come around. We had a great connection, physically, emotionally, sexually…how does this all work in this type of situation?? TIA!!
If the guy openly is telling you he don't wan commit to you nor want a relation with you, it's a clear sign he is not the right guy for you.
You gotta be in a relationship, proper committment for the guy to dump you n then try to come back to you
Or the guy has to done something wrong to you like ghosting/giving you silent treatment for them come crawling back.
Anyone who ever ghosted me jas always come back around kissing my ass, dun matter if they was just a friend. I think its the guilt n karma
@RealCoachlee say you and your ex were talking, but it became clear your life circumstances are not good and can't be together, even if you want to be. Then the dumpee says to the dumper they need a break to sort out their life, and won't reach out to the dumper. Does that make the dumpee the dumper and vice versa? Asking for a friend
Coach lee, can you make a video explaining the signs that your ex won’t come back?
😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂
My ex said she fell out of romantic love with me...still wants to be friends said basically thats what we've been for a while because she was pulling away. Then said she was coming by to pick up somethings from our apartment a month later. Texted me that she was there. I decided it was best not to be there because she had acted cold/ like a stranger and i just didn't know how i could handle this person who is now a stranger to me. She texted 2 hours later i guess you are avoiding me i'll leave now. I then just said i didnt like the stranger i saw last time and i was anxious so i decided to do what was best for me and not be there. Was that a mistake?
Im almost a month out from the breakup with someone i work with so not contact is hard because we still have to talk.i was in drunken blackout and said few nasty words i dont remember saying and it was easy for to stay were done.
How are the steps different to try to get her back it was almost a 3 year relationship.
It's been 4 days. She broke up because of wrong time but we match in every single way possible (almost) but we are eachothers best friend. We both need to work on ourselves.
How do I navigate this?
to be honest im doing no contact cause im hoping he’d come back. that he would message me that he regrets breaking up with me (because he did this before twice after 3 days of no contact) but its almost 2 months now of no communication so i guess its final. im losing hope. my heart still aches like since day 1 but have to accept that some things arent meant to come back i guess.
Yes, if they completely lost interest, they may not come back at all. I know it’s difficult.
Why would a man invite you to come to their house to cook and then cancel the next day and give you an excuse like work . So then I decided to do the No Contact tomorrow will be a week I have not contacted him at all . How long should I do the no contact rule ? Thank you
Yall i seen him on a dating app and broke no contact after 4 days and we met up tonight and did the do. He says he misses me and loves me but he still needs time. WHAT HAVE I DONE
I’ve been silent for 10 days. Not watching his Ig stories at all. He watches mine. Should I stop posting?
I dont post anything relationship related. Just random stuff like I used to anyway
Coach Lee, She Dump because I've made a mistake. She said, we will never be again. I tried no contact for 1 month but she always 1st to reach out to me. I invited her so we see and talk to each other but she didnt want. She wants to see me but with some of our friends, We hang out sometimes, I break my no contact and just go with her with our friends. Whats the meaning of this? what should I do?
Hey Coach lee, 2.5 months ago when my ex broke up with me, I obviously disagreed but I never really told her that. I just said I respect her decision. I have been doing no contact ever since. Am I doing the right thing? Or should I do something to let her know I still disagree with her decision.
Hell no, that’s exactly what no contact is lol. She wanted it. Let her come to you.
Literally me bro, I told her that we can talk things out and stuff. But never really told her anything about disagreement or that I think we are good for each other, just told I understand and have been in no contact for 1 month and 10 days. Almost reaching 1.5 months and sometimes worry that she might not come back because I didn’t say none of those things. Although I won’t break it at all
Nah they know when they're breaking up with you that you want them. Alot of our communication is nonverbal. Don't contact her, it'll look weak and devalue you. Work on yourself and upgrade your life. Work on your self concept and increase your feelings of worthiness. Good luck
@@MissBluebirddays Yeah man, that’s all we can do for now
Day 73 NC….
She left me for someone else. We were together 13 years. And now he has her on drugs.
Hey coach Lee it’s me after a long time …. It’s been 9 months of my breakup and I’m still in love .. I got ghosted 7 months ago and went into no contact and 2 days back I received a mail from my ex saying “I hope you're doing good and working towards whatever you want in life. I wish nothing but the best for you. I want you to be happy and successful in life with all my heart. I don't expect a reply. I just wanted to say this for a really long time and so l decided to email you this.”
What does it mean ?
What should I reply ?
I want her back ..
should I reply or not ?
(It was a 6 year relationship and our first ) my age 25
What happened?..seems like they wanted to talk?
He ghosted me after 15 years lol. No words at all. He’s 65 im 64 and we live apart. He puts out no effort and lies by omission. I caught him lying by omission again and he knows it so instead of him bringing it up knowing that I know he just stops calling so he doesn’t have to deal with having to argue about it
Going on 4 months now. No break up no discussion just silence
Hey Coach, so quick run down on my situation. We broke up 6 months ago. We would go probably 3-4 weeks no contact then she would breadcrumb and I would reach out or she would reach out etc. I told her we’re not friends and she recently told me she’s seeing someone (friends with benefits) because she’s lonely and is away for school. So I cut off all contact as of January 1 and made it clear not to contact me. She wishes me a happy birthday on the 4th I didn’t reply. Is it too late for no contact? Or to get her back ?
In this situation bro tbh I would just leave her alone. She’s obviously just trying to keep you on her hook. It’s going to be hard, but your best bet is to not contact her, don’t look at her stories, don’t like anything, don’t reach out. Nothing. You deserve better than that dude. I hope you get the peace and happiness you deserve.
@coachlee
Here recently my ex has been copying my facebook posts and possibly watching my stories. Sometimes within a day. Sometimes within hours. On NYE she copied my post almost exactly, just paraphrased. I made a post about being valued and appreciated. The next day she shared a post about value/appreciation. I posted about my place and new furniture, she posts about her place and furniture. Then yesterday I posted about not messing up a good thing. Several hours later she shares a post about the same thing. She’s also posting far more than she usually used to it seems like. She also hasn’t deleted the one pic she has on her page. Can anyone help me understand?
Do not watch there stories or else they will keep playing online. Be lost for a while and see the magic.
Don’t post and don’t watch her stories for a while …maybe post once in 2 weeks and also your post should show that you’re living happily with friends and family..or making some kind of progress (maybe physically,financially or socially)
Good luck 🥹🙏🏾
Especially true with an avoidant( I hate labels, but he truly is)...held out for 2 yrs no contact, then guess who was back...😉
Wow! 2 years! Did you reconcile or are you with someone new?
@@OM-1111 We reconciled for 9 mos , and became even closer, until he suffered an unfair letting go from his job, absolutely humiliated in front of others, and I could feel him deactivating...I offered him space, which he took, and again my mouth is shut until I hear from him, which I fully expect based on history and understanding him. Not necessarily "waiting", but I'm not interested in seeking out anybody either...unless Johnny Depp calls, then I may have to move on!🤣😉
Were you not talking at all for 2yrs?? Or were you just not contacting him but replying to his contacting you?
@@Greentea4591 LITERALLY no talking...he didn't try and I knew he'd have to face himself before he could face me...then one fine day I got that email from him...very sincere!
And funny, just a few days ago, he contacted our only acquaintance, to let her know about his new job...which means I'll be hearing from him sooner than later...I've got him figured out now😁
Hlo coach
i m here with a good news.. my ex made me angry to contact him..and after 84 days NC i reached out him and scold him .. after then communication was going nonstop for 24hr.. then he reached out me before couple of hours with casual talk.. love from India 🇮🇳
Seriously?
Does this work for indian guys as well ?
Coz I am from Southern part of India.
Yup it did work .. my ex one is started baby steps @@shailashree3477
And if you have kids, keep it about the kid(s) during no contact
Is my cheated ex still also wants me back?
What if there hasn't really been no contact? But more like 3 days nothing then contact say for 3 days and repeat.
That pattern does not count as "No contact". If they broke up with you, then stop responding. Don't initiate. They need to experience the consequences of the breakup for weeks or months. You two staying in this "three-days-off-three-days-on" keeps both of you stuck in limbo, and unable to process the breakup.
😢 we both send goodbye message and she sends me i love u but im leting u go at end i already begged her too much 😢 any chances help me please and already told her that u lose me i womt be here anymore
we were going great we were planning a celebrating for a special day for us, i took her for lunch we hada a good day at night she just send a breaak up text she said i suffocated her and she needes space to fell good with herself. been 2 days nc its very very hard she seems totally fine like it never happend.idk what to do i really want to try again with her,
Like coach Lee says she’s in relief she’ll soon come out of that’s and I believe she’ll reach out soon enough. Have faith mate
Im losing my patience someone help pls , day 35 NC she started to change her profile photo in whatsapp which she never change b4 and started going out late night , she even changes her Bio after 3 years💔 idk if she found someone else or ??? Im soo confused
Hi Coach Lee! This is my 1st time reaching out. I've been in no contact for about 2 weeks now with my ex and going strong and now tonight out of no where she sent me a message on snapchat I waited about 10 minutes and she deleted whatever she sent. Do you think she's trying to get me to break no contact? I just left it at that and didn't ask her what she sent. This feels like a trap to me.
It's not uncommon for them to face some anxiety, so yeh don't let it throw you off. If this is gonna work - they need to reach out. But it's a good sign, that she is perhaps considering it. Curious maybe? You need to be strong and don't be tempted to reach out first. And even when she does, you need to stay chill. Don't ignore, but stay friendly and shallow. No talk about the past, unless she brings it up.
@justinkantner Thanks! Yeah I think this is her trying to get me to break not contact.
@@collectornick4270 I think so too! I've heard in other videos that your ex will sometimes try to trick/tempt you in that regards. As it's obviously not easy for them to admit they did a mistake and reach out.
Anything since mate?
@JackWoody88 Yeah, the following days she was posting things on fb like "when I think of forever I still think of you" and stuff like ""If everything led me to you then I don't regret a thing". I ignored these and then she called me a day or two later saying she still doesn't want a relationship. We were taking a month break (her idea). Now I really don't think I want her back. So. I'm just gonna continue NC and just live my life. She unfriended me on FB but didn't delete all of our pictures together and she still watches my snapchat stories. So, I really don't know what her game is but I don't really care. I'm on my last 8 months of school and in clinicals right now. So I really don't have the time to play these games with her.