In the words of Dr. Robert Block, the former President of the American Academy of Pediatrics, "Adverse childhood experiences are the single greatest unaddressed public health threat facing our nation today." It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. -Frederick Douglass.
@@OfficialTaj Yesss, you've taken your power back and have found self love to take the leaps forward. I tip my hat to you, and thank you for the inspiration. Keep on keeping on 🌻
I grew up spending my weekends at my father’s house. His new wife simply hated me. I could feel the tension in the air. My only preoccupation was trying to avoid conflict, being a people pleaser for 48 hours, waiting to come back home to be safe again. I was absolutely terrified. Perpetually scanning their faces trying to understand what they were thinking, just to avoid trouble. 100% paranoid. I went up hating myself. Feeling I was garbage. Not everybody should become parents.
My Lord, this is the description of my mother and me... She comes from a very traumatizing childhood and I had the "pleasure" of being raised by all of that mess + with no father + poverty. I am glad I can name my demons, helps the healing process
We were beautiful children. We were gifted, and we tried so hard. Nothing moved our parents to stop treating us as prisoners of their wars with reality. I have an ACE score of 6. Not too bad for me to beat the odds, I hope. I’m 70, and I need to be here for another 20 years, because my kids and my grandson need me.
I didn’t know going from one extreme to another could cause damage. I was neglected, but I was catering to my child. I never let him just cry. It wasn’t in me to do that. I was told my strength was from my grandfather, and surrogate grandmother ( other side ). Had they not loved me I’d be a dead statistic from addiction too. My mother has NPD, and I didn’t realize that’s what was what it was. The best thing I did was I moved 300 miles away at age 30. After my divorce ( he NPD too ) I moved back in with my mother. HFS, I was a hostage in a car, 2 times I had to call the police on her for assaulting me. Speaking about money in the bank. I counseled on and off 20 hrs and not 1 person mentioned NPD. My friend met my mother and he said he knew in 5/10 min she had it. I looked it up( childhood ). Bingo A lay person knew but a counselor didn’t ? I told them very specific things that were from an origin of NPD. I was p/ssed.
I have an ACE score of 6. I am only 24 but I feel as if I have lived many lifetimes due to the abuse and trauma I have experienced. I want you to know that you are strong and that you deserve happiness in life
When my mom took me to kindergarten I cried. Being sent to school is personality destroying prison. Spending the whole day that way for most days of the year for 13 years is extreme abuse.
Nothing triggers me more than people rebutting with "aww look who's not loved by their parents"/"who hurt you" I just see red and quickly remove myself from a situation before it escalates.
Good strategy. The world has turned adult survivors of ACE's into punching bags and items of ridicule. There's no empathy or understanding however in many ways the ones issuing these thoughtless statements are themselves unaware abused adult children. I am all for self protection. You do you.
Often those very same adults have repressed their own trauma from childhood. They refuse to face their own demons, and so feel extremely uncomfortable when they find themselves in the company of people who are more aware of their trauma and are attempting to grow past it by facing it head on. They are made uncomfortable because seeing you makes their own pain start to bubble at the surface. So they must shut you up like they do to themselves. Pay them no attention. Pity them. Move on.
@@SisypheanRoller 👍 all healing ACE survivors should congregate here for this comment. Totally agree. And all survivors should move on without a second thought.
One of the things I found that helped me to feel better about myself was acceptance that external criticisms will come anyway, not everyone will like me. No-one can expect that everyone they meet will want to be a supporter
Please address hoarding/clutter/chaos as a trauma response. Around the losses of childhood? (ACE?) Thank you for this video. It is chilling and helpful.
Thank you Professor. I took myself on my first ever ♡LOVE MYSELF ♡ date last night. Booked at the last minute a City Hotel, took myself for drinks then midnight snacks. I've never really partied in the city.. let alone by myself. ❤ it was long overdue. Thank you for your healing education ❤️
Yes, but also no. I grew up in a shit home and it was very bad for a long while, but I healed. Now in my 40s I’m happy and successful - separated from my abusive family, of course. It does make the battle uphill, but not impossible
@thelife8836 it's not like this in the matriarch, the mosuo tribe in china is one, willhelm reich found 2 tribes in his book character analysis. One hostile one welcoming. Guess which camp was which - true stroy. 'Patriarchy' breeds single mums
I came from loving parents that taught us 3 kids good manners and music. The abuse began as poverty, Mom worked at a gas station dad was landscaper and bass player in local bars and later on ssi benefit. The problem was my parents trusted or let too many of the wrong people around us. My older brother had a lot of highschool party's with lots of people in and out of the household. I experienced CSA. The abuse began from a stranger at age 11 through 22. Many traumas that turned self destructive emotions like shame and guilt and it effects me severely at age 28 now. Im struggling severely with health issues and making healthy relationships. I am currently homeless.
I sense you trying to excuse your parents. There's more that kids need than good manners. My mom felt if we set a proper dinner table every night and knew what silverware to use, our family was "fine". Truth was, all us kids had stomach problems from the unaddressed stress. They should have protected you, you deserved that.
@@SisypheanRoller I did ask myself that sometimes, but then I understood that due to my own unresolved trauma, I couldn’t truly look after myself so it was much better not to risk it. Now I’m getting to the end stages of healing properly, but it’s too late. Instead I work with children to try to help improve their lives in some way, to try to improve their confidence, sense of safety, sense of self and to feel seen and heard. That’s the best I can do now.
My ACE’s score is 10/10. Jackpot! When I first learned of the impact over your life, it scared me. Like I was doomed. I have done my best since then to educate myself, work on unhelpful relationship patterns and find ways to improve resilience. I’m in my 50’s and this is a lifetime journey. I am also a therapist and work with adults who have childhood trauma.
Ouch this was painful to watch. Thank you for your forthright and honest explanation. I'm an ACOA with a child adopted from foster care overloaded with Aces. Thanks for at least helping me come to terms with our challenges. Sometimes you cannot fix it but knowledge really is power thank you Dr Vaknin
This is true ! Doing inner - standing work on self has always gone back to childhood traumas . It cam be worled out by doing and accepting what you discover about yourself.
Another insightful video as always, Dr. Vaknin. I could watch your videos all day everyday. You have answered a lot of my questions. I will continue to embrace nothingness 🙂
Thank you for this Prof. May I ask you to please give us solutions? We want to help ourselves and avoid this with our own children. You are appreciated ❤
Any advice for those of us who are too broke to afford therapy but wanna heal? I feel like my early like has mostly eaten my entire life. I'm Workin hard but I just feel like I always fall down into the darkness of my earlier experiences.
In my firsth year my mother and father give me away. In age of 3 I remember i rescue the life of my brother. My parants looked us (sister 1,5 year, my bother 4,5 year and me 3 years) in a room without food and drinking. My brother get high temperature and crying for water and he signs up to me, he will die. I was in a bed with high boarder and i was so scarry to claim out. I got brave and claim out. Then I collect the pipi from my sister and me and I give it to my brother annd he survived. Later my parants came home and i get physical punish becouse I leave the bed. (only 1 srorry of my life) So i know the dangerous in life and I start helping everybody when I see or feel that dangerous. But myself I cant helping in the same way. And Professor Vaknin how I can get over that feeling even the world getting more and more dangerous around us. Thank you so much.
Thank You for sharing your improvisational method for saving your brother!🌹💗💚🍀💚🕊💎🕊 I’ve recently got a book and it reads that we can ask questions slowly to our inner-child with our dominant hand ( the hand you write with) and then write or draw the answer with your non-dominant hand. No correcting anything that is written or drawn with on the piece of paper🤗 I know that you are brilliant with your intuition and just magnificent.
Can you be traumatized by going to school even if you were not bullied? When I was little, I had big problems at school because of my autism. I couldn't keep up with schoolwork like my peers. But my peers were always kind to me and I had many friends, but I was always afraid of being left out. That eventually everyone would discover how "stupid" I was. I had special teachers on the side, however, it was limited. I had to go to a class every now and then for extra help, for children with similar problems but all at younger ages. One of my special needs teachers told my mother that I will never be able to read or write. I remember very little, but I think I sensed how some teachers perceived me, even though I didn't understand. I felt "wrong", defect, stupid and a failure. I don't know how to describe it, but I didn't feel human. When I looked at my friends I envied them, as another higher standing species than me. I noticed that I was different. I am still afraid to this day (37 years old) of failing, being abandoned. I'm a people pleaser, because I've thought that keeps people from abandoning me. I am trying to change this but it is incredibly difficult. As well as listening to my gut. I have time and again fallen back into my dysfunctional behavior pattern. Sorry for the long text, but I want to know what you think. Can a child be so affected by this that it results in self-hatred even in adulthood? Which of your videos should I watch extra? Thank you very much Professor Vaknin.
@@samvaknin Thanks Professor, appreciate you taking the time to answer me. I will give extra thought to this video you recommended to me. I have questioned my experiences, thinking that I have not been through such obvious traumatic events as other people have experienced. But my simple logic says that as a child I felt it was dangerous not to be able to contribute to the herd, and to be "defect" means death when abandoned by the herd.
thank you Prof. Vaknin, can this kind of childhood be the reason we have ADHD and PTSD and are we wired for life in this or can be healed by later working our self and therapy?
Very very Awesome Presentation…My wife of 18 years explained here…It helps me so much…Maybe I can help her alittle bit which might be a lot and A breath of Fresh Air for a moment in time…
Thank you for that enlightening video Prof. Vaknin. Could you point me to the playlist that expands on the "golden child" (and similar/related) effect?
Prof Vaknin… i understand how bad voices influence our self esteem, self trust, confidence and relationship with ourselves and others. I see how it explains my thoughts and emotions. Want to know how this can provide insights into my parenting behaviour. I want my child to love herself, trust and accept the whole of her. How can I as a single parent promote that?
10,15 My mother has since always called me multiple times a day to badmouth my father/her husband, my sister, all the relatives and friends, my friends, complete strangers, neighbours, collegues, everyone. So imagin what she told them about me. Her brain by now must be on fire due to hatred and misantropy, I am 50+. Except if I was happy or successful in whatever field, then the same people were so thoughtful, generous and well educated with top wages that I would not be able to fathom expensive cars, weddings etc etc. Thats exactly how it is to be her child, and as I mentioned, I am 50+.
I totally agree with you I spent 13 years in prison 3 of them in therapy and I learned so much about myself and totally changed my mindset sir. Have a question for you
Now I know why I over think everything, you think too much my mom would say! My three ex wives all said I over analyze everything! I was trying to figure out what was going on all around my chaotic childhood I guess! Now I'm all alone and sleep with two pit bulls a loaded shotgun and several loaded handguns at the ready! wtf! I hate my life and I don't know how to fix it.
Do they know something is wrong with them deep down inside?? What does it mean when one cries ?? 25:02 cause you can feel someones true hurt when you hug them
How is it that a narcissist and a borderline grow up in similar environments and one child suffers from BPD and the other from NPD and the other does not have the disorder. Is there a biological component to this?l
Could a person lose a parent to death early on, say age 4, with the parent being ill since age 1, and not have abandonment issues and object permanency issues?
@@samvaknin You instinctively knew it was my Mother. No, there were some babysitters but my extended family was too far away. The only thing I got was a step monster right after she died. She was a narcissist.. The object permanence is the strangest thing. If I’m not with someone or talking to them, I feel like they don’t exist, it’s so bizarre.
Can the narcissism be caused by a father absent and poverty childhood, or to become a narcissist it has to be problems related only to the mother figure?
What about the poor kids of today who have to witness their divorced (or never married) parents, marrying or openly showing physical affection to a same sex partner!
In the words of Dr. Robert Block, the former President of the American Academy of Pediatrics, "Adverse childhood experiences are the single greatest unaddressed public health threat facing our nation today."
It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. -Frederick Douglass.
I live by the last quote as I parent my children. 😊
100% Correct
As a person with an adverse childhood, I refuse to give up on myself. I am now a Ph.D. student at a leading institution and I will change the world.
@@OfficialTaj Yesss, you've taken your power back and have found self love to take the leaps forward. I tip my hat to you, and thank you for the inspiration.
Keep on keeping on 🌻
😊
I grew up spending my weekends at my father’s house. His new wife simply hated me. I could feel the tension in the air. My only preoccupation was trying to avoid conflict, being a people pleaser for 48 hours, waiting to come back home to be safe again. I was absolutely terrified. Perpetually scanning their faces trying to understand what they were thinking, just to avoid trouble. 100% paranoid. I went up hating myself. Feeling I was garbage. Not everybody should become parents.
I could have written this myself. Exact same thing happened to me. Now the woman has the gull to want to be a Grandma to my child
@@emilydowell9783 sick people. Better to stay away from them.
My Lord, this is the description of my mother and me... She comes from a very traumatizing childhood and I had the "pleasure" of being raised by all of that mess + with no father + poverty. I am glad I can name my demons, helps the healing process
We were beautiful children. We were gifted, and we tried so hard. Nothing moved our parents to stop treating us as prisoners of their wars with reality.
I have an ACE score of 6. Not too bad for me to beat the odds, I hope. I’m 70, and I need to be here for another 20 years, because my kids and my grandson need me.
We were also born innocent and pure ,
You are great. Stay strong and good luck.
I didn’t know going from one extreme to another could cause damage. I was neglected, but I was catering to my child. I never let him just cry. It wasn’t in me to do that. I was told my strength was from my grandfather, and surrogate grandmother ( other side ). Had they not loved me I’d be a dead statistic from addiction too. My mother has NPD, and I didn’t realize that’s what was what it was. The best thing I did was I moved 300 miles away at age 30. After my divorce ( he NPD too ) I moved back in with my mother. HFS, I was a hostage in a car, 2 times I had to call the police on her for assaulting me. Speaking about money in the bank. I counseled on and off 20 hrs and not 1 person mentioned NPD. My friend met my mother and he said he knew in 5/10 min she had it. I looked it up( childhood ). Bingo
A lay person knew but a counselor didn’t ? I told them very specific things that were from an origin of NPD. I was p/ssed.
I have an ACE score of 6. I am only 24 but I feel as if I have lived many lifetimes due to the abuse and trauma I have experienced. I want you to know that you are strong and that you deserve happiness in life
When my mom took me to kindergarten I cried. Being sent to school is personality destroying prison. Spending the whole day that way for most days of the year for 13 years is extreme abuse.
The education system is made to break the spirit. Those who submit and let it break their souls are rewarded, those who don't are shamed and demeaned.
Your school must have sucked. I loved being at school because it meant I wasn't at home.
I don’t think this is true for all kids. Either your particular school sucked or maybe you have an undiagnosed neurodivergence?
Due to my proper schooling i am privileged now.
Don’t feel, don’t express, don’t emote…. Happiness annihilators.
Average schizoid be like :
I am literally scolded and bashed for being happy, my unhappiness is people's happiness. Such a sick world
Always trying to make sense and wondering why you are always wrong
Nothing triggers me more than people rebutting with "aww look who's not loved by their parents"/"who hurt you" I just see red and quickly remove myself from a situation before it escalates.
Good strategy. The world has turned adult survivors of ACE's into punching bags and items of ridicule. There's no empathy or understanding however in many ways the ones issuing these thoughtless statements are themselves unaware abused adult children. I am all for self protection. You do you.
Often those very same adults have repressed their own trauma from childhood. They refuse to face their own demons, and so feel extremely uncomfortable when they find themselves in the company of people who are more aware of their trauma and are attempting to grow past it by facing it head on. They are made uncomfortable because seeing you makes their own pain start to bubble at the surface. So they must shut you up like they do to themselves.
Pay them no attention. Pity them. Move on.
@@SisypheanRoller 👍 all healing ACE survivors should congregate here for this comment. Totally agree. And all survivors should move on without a second thought.
One of the things I found that helped me to feel better about myself was acceptance that external criticisms will come anyway, not everyone will like me. No-one can expect that everyone they meet will want to be a supporter
Please address hoarding/clutter/chaos as a trauma response. Around the losses of childhood? (ACE?) Thank you for this video. It is chilling and helpful.
Thank you Professor. I took myself on my first ever ♡LOVE MYSELF ♡ date last night. Booked at the last minute a City Hotel, took myself for drinks then midnight snacks.
I've never really partied in the city.. let alone by myself. ❤ it was long overdue. Thank you for your healing education ❤️
Yes, but also no. I grew up in a shit home and it was very bad for a long while, but I healed. Now in my 40s I’m happy and successful - separated from my abusive family, of course. It does make the battle uphill, but not impossible
This is heartbreaking.
I always feel very tense and upset hearing some of your descriptions but its good to know where my anxieties originated.
😢 I feel you..
EVERYTHING he is saying/explaining is 100% true!!
A very important and necessary video!
there should be a mental health test to become parents
@thelife8836 it's not like this in the matriarch, the mosuo tribe in china is one, willhelm reich found 2 tribes in his book character analysis. One hostile one welcoming. Guess which camp was which - true stroy. 'Patriarchy' breeds single mums
Then you need everything prior to, during, and evaluation thereof unbiased ...
I went to a shrink 30 years ago, and he told me according to statistics, I should have committed suicide or become a junkie.
Same
Yeah that's actually insane ngl, I'd ego check the crap out of him before leaving. How many of these therapists are messed up themselves.?!!!
Wow
Parents love your children otherwise they will end up here with Sam
I came from loving parents that taught us 3 kids good manners and music. The abuse began as poverty, Mom worked at a gas station dad was landscaper and bass player in local bars and later on ssi benefit. The problem was my parents trusted or let too many of the wrong people around us. My older brother had a lot of highschool party's with lots of people in and out of the household. I experienced CSA. The abuse began from a stranger at age 11 through 22. Many traumas that turned self destructive emotions like shame and guilt and it effects me severely at age 28 now. Im struggling severely with health issues and making healthy relationships. I am currently homeless.
I sense you trying to excuse your parents. There's more that kids need than good manners. My mom felt if we set a proper dinner table every night and knew what silverware to use, our family was "fine". Truth was, all us kids had stomach problems from the unaddressed stress. They should have protected you, you deserved that.
I decided not to have kids. The most important job in the world, the least qualified can take it on…
Thank you Prof. Vaknin. Once again, great content
Ironically, your self awareness may actually make you a better candidate to be a parent.
@@SisypheanRoller I did ask myself that sometimes, but then I understood that due to my own unresolved trauma, I couldn’t truly look after myself so it was much better not to risk it.
Now I’m getting to the end stages of healing properly, but it’s too late. Instead I work with children to try to help improve their lives in some way, to try to improve their confidence, sense of safety, sense of self and to feel seen and heard. That’s the best I can do now.
My ACE’s score is 10/10. Jackpot! When I first learned of the impact over your life, it scared me. Like I was doomed. I have done my best since then to educate myself, work on unhelpful relationship patterns and find ways to improve resilience. I’m in my 50’s and this is a lifetime journey. I am also a therapist and work with adults who have childhood trauma.
Psychedelic assisted therapy has been a great tool for me to somatically feel the effects of the wounds I faced in childhood.
Ouch this was painful to watch. Thank you for your forthright and honest explanation. I'm an ACOA with a child adopted from foster care overloaded with Aces. Thanks for at least helping me come to terms with our challenges. Sometimes you cannot fix it but knowledge really is power thank you Dr Vaknin
after this very comprehensive video many things become clearer to me now…it is all about me and my insecurities and fears…
Thanks Professor Sam.
Thank you so much Dr. Vaknin. One of your best. You are impacting the world 🌎 I needed this so much today. ❤️
This is true ! Doing inner - standing work on self has always gone back to childhood traumas . It cam be worled out by doing and accepting what you discover about yourself.
Been looking DECADES for this content Prof. Vaknin. DECADES. Thank you for helping myself and so many with your work and content. Love to you.
That was a really good lecture. Thank you.
Oh yes... my mother allways said i was allready a difficult personality as an infant... 🤣
Allways against her and of course she is victim...
Another insightful video as always, Dr. Vaknin. I could watch your videos all day everyday. You have answered a lot of my questions. I will continue to embrace nothingness 🙂
Thank you for this Prof. May I ask you to please give us solutions? We want to help ourselves and avoid this with our own children. You are appreciated ❤
Search the From Child to Narcissist playlist.
Any advice for those of us who are too broke to afford therapy but wanna heal? I feel like my early like has mostly eaten my entire life. I'm Workin hard but I just feel like I always fall down into the darkness of my earlier experiences.
@@lolwtfbbq111 same
@@SherriFlemming thank you 😊
Is it possible for someone like this to have a healthy relationship with anyone?
Therapy helps.
I sooo agree,, was exposed to much bad stuff, and I can see many years now in the future....how it has affected me... But......GOD saved me.
Prof you have helped me to understand myself and others which has allowed me to heal and for that I thank you ❤❤❤
"Why am I being loved" 😂😂
1.menjadi Narsistik
2.takut di tinggalkan -people pleaser.
3.perfeksionis
How You get f’d from getting ACE’d growing up, thanks for the memories unconnected to life.
Everything you said here makes a lot of sense to me. Thank you, Mr. Vaknin.
WOW, 100% Sam...Thank you
Very scary video. I have kids and BPD; I already know I screwed up. I get more damaged by the day, also.
In my firsth year my mother and father give me away. In age of 3 I remember i rescue the life of my brother. My parants looked us (sister 1,5 year, my bother 4,5 year and me 3 years) in a room without food and drinking. My brother get high temperature and crying for water and he signs up to me, he will die. I was in a bed with high boarder and i was so scarry to claim out. I got brave and claim out. Then I collect the pipi from my sister and me and I give it to my brother annd he survived. Later my parants came home and i get physical punish becouse I leave the bed. (only 1 srorry of my life) So i know the dangerous in life and I start helping everybody when I see or feel that dangerous. But myself I cant helping in the same way. And Professor Vaknin how I can get over that feeling even the world getting more and more dangerous around us. Thank you so much.
Thank You for sharing your improvisational method for saving your brother!🌹💗💚🍀💚🕊💎🕊 I’ve recently got a book and it reads that we can ask questions slowly to our inner-child with our dominant hand ( the hand you write with) and then write or draw the answer with your non-dominant hand. No correcting anything that is written or drawn with on the piece of paper🤗 I know that you are brilliant with your intuition and just magnificent.
@@bernadettemcmaster4560, wow Bernadette, thank you so much, I will try. A big hello from Berlin
Can you be traumatized by going to school even if you were not bullied? When I was little, I had big problems at school because of my autism. I couldn't keep up with schoolwork like my peers. But my peers were always kind to me and I had many friends, but I was always afraid of being left out. That eventually everyone would discover how "stupid" I was. I had special teachers on the side, however, it was limited. I had to go to a class every now and then for extra help, for children with similar problems but all at younger ages. One of my special needs teachers told my mother that I will never be able to read or write. I remember very little, but I think I sensed how some teachers perceived me, even though I didn't understand. I felt "wrong", defect, stupid and a failure. I don't know how to describe it, but I didn't feel human. When I looked at my friends I envied them, as another higher standing species than me. I noticed that I was different.
I am still afraid to this day (37 years old) of failing, being abandoned. I'm a people pleaser, because I've thought that keeps people from abandoning me. I am trying to change this but it is incredibly difficult. As well as listening to my gut. I have time and again fallen back into my dysfunctional behavior pattern.
Sorry for the long text, but I want to know what you think. Can a child be so affected by this that it results in self-hatred even in adulthood? Which of your videos should I watch extra?
Thank you very much Professor Vaknin.
Search the channel for "peer".
@@samvaknin Thanks Professor, appreciate you taking the time to answer me. I will give extra thought to this video you recommended to me.
I have questioned my experiences, thinking that I have not been through such obvious traumatic events as other people have experienced. But my simple logic says that as a child I felt it was dangerous not to be able to contribute to the herd, and to be "defect" means death when abandoned by the herd.
@@basicbeatch this is exactly my question!
thank you Prof. Vaknin, can this kind of childhood be the reason we have ADHD and PTSD and are we wired for life in this or can be healed by later working our self and therapy?
Some of it can be modified.
Very very Awesome Presentation…My wife of 18 years explained here…It helps me so much…Maybe I can help her alittle bit which might be a lot and A breath of Fresh Air for a moment in time…
Thank you for that enlightening video Prof. Vaknin. Could you point me to the playlist that expands on the "golden child" (and similar/related) effect?
From Child to Narcissist playlist.
Eff it now! Hell I'm 59 , too late, that's life. But knowing helps .
It’s never too late..
This is sadly exactly what I am. I rejected myself my whole life.
Prof Vaknin… i understand how bad voices influence our self esteem, self trust, confidence and relationship with ourselves and others. I see how it explains my thoughts and emotions. Want to know how this can provide insights into my parenting behaviour. I want my child to love herself, trust and accept the whole of her. How can I as a single parent promote that?
So heart breaking 💔 what kind of a species are we to treat our offspring in these deplorable ways?😢
Great video. The big question is what’s the way out????
We are all screwed
Can you make a video on when couples should have children and the childfree movement?
Search the From Child to Narcissist and the Life's Wisdom playlists.
Hi from Brazil! Thank you! 😢
Thank you again, again and again Professor!
So basically I'm doomed ? 😢 BDP+ commorbidities. Two years of therapy trying everything to change yet life is still hell.
10,15 My mother has since always called me multiple times a day to badmouth my father/her husband, my sister, all the relatives and friends, my friends, complete strangers, neighbours, collegues, everyone. So imagin what she told them about me. Her brain by now must be on fire due to hatred and misantropy, I am 50+. Except if I was happy or successful in whatever field, then the same people were so thoughtful, generous and well educated with top wages that I would not be able to fathom expensive cars, weddings etc etc. Thats exactly how it is to be her child, and as I mentioned, I am 50+.
❤🎉❤🎉❤🎉❤🎉thank you Sam 🎉
I totally agree with you I spent 13 years in prison 3 of them in therapy and I learned so much about myself and totally changed my mindset sir. Have a question for you
It’s so draining. I need help.
Same girl. Please go get help ❤
You deserve it
Now I know why I over think everything, you think too much my mom would say! My three ex wives all said I over analyze everything! I was trying to figure out what was going on all around my chaotic childhood I guess! Now I'm all alone and sleep with two pit bulls a loaded shotgun and several loaded handguns at the ready! wtf! I hate my life and I don't know how to fix it.
My life
Mine too 😢😭
You are becoming my inner critic! Please could you tell us -delete Photos, videos …. Does it somehow help to heal?
Yes.
lol you are scaring me professor. This is me in a nutshell! Hah
You described my life.
Excellent thanks
My mother ruined my life and any chance at a woman ever wanting me.
Do they know something is wrong with them deep down inside?? What does it mean when one cries ?? 25:02 cause you can feel someones true hurt when you hug them
Search the channel for "aware" and for "cry".
How is it that a narcissist and a borderline grow up in similar environments and one child suffers from BPD and the other from NPD and the other does not have the disorder. Is there a biological component to this?l
That’s a great important question. I’ve also wondered!
Watch the From Child to Narcissist playlist.
I f love your videos
GOAT 🎉🎉🎉❤❤
I am a W.O.P - Weapon Of Power aka just a tool for adults manipulation
That is mask sheild to protect the self, i know exactly as i learned this fory own safety amd sanity
Wow. Im a mess.
Is this fixable? Bpd, poor attachment style, etc.
Search the BPD playlist.
Could a person lose a parent to death early on, say age 4, with the parent being ill since age 1, and not have abandonment issues and object permanency issues?
Only if there was another maternal figure present throughout that period.
@@samvaknin You instinctively knew it was my Mother. No, there were some babysitters but my extended family was too far away. The only thing I got was a step monster right after she died. She was a narcissist.. The object permanence is the strangest thing. If I’m not with someone or talking to them, I feel like they don’t exist, it’s so bizarre.
So can you help me? Bc I feel like giving up I keep doing and doing. Trying and trying. I’m tired and scared. 😐
I also ask the same question
@@courtneys4568 can only save ourselves. It's hard but knowledge is power.
Can the narcissism be caused by a father absent and poverty childhood, or to become a narcissist it has to be problems related only to the mother figure?
Search the From Child to Narcissist. Mother, not father.
Is there a video with the solution?
Watch the healing and recovery playlist.
What about the poor kids of today who have to witness their divorced (or never married) parents, marrying or openly showing physical affection to a same sex partner!
How about a male that lost virginity at 13…
@user-Prof_Sam_vaknin_nerc
Is this working? Thank you Sam
ᎢℋᎪɳᏦ ᎩӫᏌ ⁎*⋆ Prof. Sam Vaknin