Thank you for speaking about this, Mari. I lost my little brother and best friend to suicide a month and a half ago. I also was the person who found him. Although I am experiencing some PTSD, I cannot help but be grateful for the fact that when I found him, he looked sound asleep, like he was finally at peace. However, all of the rude comments, invasive questions, and negativity from others seriously impacted me in a bad way. I am struggling to take care of myself, relate to others, and sometimes I just disassociate from reality. It feels as if my life has ended, and my body is on autopilot. To be completely honest, the only reason for which I would not also take my life is because I could never have my parents go through this pain twice. I thank you for speaking of your experience, and hope to recover in his memory.
@mouse, I aplogize for the delayed response. I am so sorry to hear you also had a similar experience, but good to hear that he looked peacefully sleeping. It is a struggle to hear negative comments, invasive questions, but I learned to listen to my heart through the negative noise. I am the same with you, the only reason I didn't take my life is because I didn't let my sister go through the same pain again. It is too painful and I never wish upon anyone, even the worst enemy (if I ever have), to go through the same. My life has completely went upside down, but I regained the normality in an abnomal. I couldn't remember my mom's smile for a long long time, but now I do. If you need someone to chat, please find me on FB. Hugs, Mari
I sympathize and I recognize your experience. I was the one who found my older brother recently and it’s been very hard to go through the motions of life.
This is my first time seeing this video and I am responding to your 2 year old post. I am so sorry for your loss and I hope you are finding joy in your life as you continue to remember your brother.
Samantha Green : I'm just reading this but I'm hoping your request to talk to someone was fulfilled. If it wasn't or for any reason at all, I am definitely here to listen and discuss anything. Reach out and I'm here!
I lost my wife 5 weeks ago to suicide. It all unravelled so quickly. I'm typing this under the window she jumped out of. I live in Korea, and it's a huge issue here. There is such a stigma, as Mari mentions, and they try to sweep it under the carpet. Same with mental illness. It's a sign of weakness. It's sad. Much love to this woman for sharing her experience.
@@tylerfrancisco9888 Thank you, Tyler. Much love and respect to you. It just passed 6 months now, and it's a bit easier, but it still makes my head spin.
@@MariOkazaki that's very kind of you to comment to me directly, Mari. I really appreciate it. I try to believe that her soul is at peace, and I also try hard to remember the good times, and accept that not everything in life is roses. We have to learn from these experiences. Hugs to you, also.
My deepest sympathy for you. I lost my little cousin and most painfully, my precious baby sister to suicide. I am so sorry that you are having to live this pain. Words cannot describe how much I wish you were not living this. But, my prayers and thoughts are with you, and I hope you have support during this unbearable tragedy. I'm so sorry.
my father committed suicide 40 years ago when I was 15 and I find myself thinking about it more now since I found it so difficult to talk about back then. thank you Mari.
@ Cathy Ellis, thank you for your comment. I believe that grieving comes and goes as we age and never too late to deal with emotions from our young age. Thank you for saying "thank you Mari", really appreciate you took time to watch this video :)
I lost my son to suicide may 2 2013. He was almost 29 years old. I cant believe that Im watching this, or even typing this. I always avoid talking about it and when I think about it (which is everyday) I just put it out of my mind. It hurts so bad. Maybe this is my first step to try and feel better. I cried through your talk and almost changed the channel, but I made it through. Thank you.
i hope you are better now , i think he had a good reason for that and it was his own choice he probably was fighting himself and now he is rested and we all will get rested someday
My heart goes out to you Rhonda. Thank you for your courage to watch it to the end. I hope there will be a time for you that you can think of his smiles with a smile on your face, healing takes one step at a time, sometimes step backward and it is okay. Hugs to you.
This is so good and good to hear. I lost my Uncle to suicide 3 days ago and as someone who has contemplated their own suicide before, this situation is breaking my heart. Her words are very encouraging and made me feel at peace for the 1st time since we found him. Thank you so much again!!!❤
I found a noose in my daughter's drawer when she was 18 and it affected me deeply. I cannot imagine finding someone you love hanging. The trauma would be unbearable. Mari, you are such a strong woman. God bless you.
I remember when my therapist said, “you healed.” I looked at him somewhat confused and slightly wondered if he was cutting our session short lol he said, “you spoke your story without crying. You have healed.” 14:46 Thank you sooo much for sharing your experience My parents raised me catholic and when my dad took his own life, the church said he did not go to heaven. I have been angry about this for the last 10, almost 11 years. It’s less and less upsetting, but it still makes no sense how a belief system would have such an attitude, especially during such a devastating time. 08:57 I am so proud of you and extremely grateful for your bravery. Thank you so much for this video.
The Catholic church does not believe that irrational nonsense anymore. God, in his infinite Mercy, understands desperation. God has never judged a suffering soul that way. It is a shame that that lie has been perpetuated. Be at peace!@@flamingfrenchfry2877
Finally!!! Lost my brother to suicide in 2014 and have been saying since then survivirs of suicide loss need to share the raw brutal truth of their lives after such a loss, I believe the survivors of suicide loss are the key to stopping suicides or help bring them down. Thank you for sharing
I lost my 93 year old father last month (2weeks) before Thanksgiving. I never ever thought that something like this could happen. It’s such a horrible pain. I miss my dad sooo much. I wish this would have never happened. I cry for his absence everyday . I pray to God for His strength and God helps me through this every day. Mari thank you so much for sharing your experience with us. You are a brave and beautiful woman. May God bless you. Your video has helped me deal with my grieving and healing process. Once again Mari , thank you for sharing. You are right about the stigma on suicide. It almost feels like you are on your own dealing with all the sadness and grief. Wish you well Mari
I am very sorry for your loss. My sister also suddenly committed suicide last year, and I have still been dealing with this with tremendous grief and confusion as well, but I still can't imagine the pain you've been going through.. This talk you gave has meant so much to me. Thank you very much, and may your mother rest in peace.
My dad hung himself one week ago. His wife for 47 years found him. I got him down and tried to resuscitate as we found him immediately but it was sadly to no avail. When the moment came to inform our entourage, we shortly discussed what we would say, and we agreed to tell the truth as we felt no shame. I was surprised about how many colleagues lost parents to it. It’s so taboo! Someone called him selfish, I just answered : you do know nothing, he gave us everything but he was unbearably suffering and I allow him to lay down and rest. It is also selfish to want parents to suffer so much for so long just so we, the survivors, do not have to grief/suffer/share the burden, isn’t it? I wish he would still be here, I wish we could have helped, I wish I could have say goodbye, I miss him.
Thank you so much , Mari , for your soothing inspirational talk. May it bring comfort and solace to all survivors.... My family is coping as best we can with the loss of son Kinkin who died May 16,2019 at age 39 under mysterious circumstances. His mom is inconsolable! Am still in disbelief ! but we are somewhat consoled by the fact that his spirit is imperishable and he was very well loved, never to be forgotten. . . an exceptional artist, too sensitive and kind to be walking this earth. His time was simply up.
I need to extend my personal appreciation for telling your story with honesty. I lost my best friend and big brother almost 9 years ago this month. It has taken from 2011 until right now in 2020 to hear where a survivor had also buried their grief and suffered greatly for years in silence before finally realizing that I could pick up where I had left it and now have gone thru the many stages of grief I had denied myself for so long thinking that I seemed to be different in the delayed and complicated grief. When I felt your story heading that way I was stuck in mutt head thinking omg she’s going to say it!!! And you did and that final emotion of feeling wrong this many years later let go and I bowed my head with you. That’s not a simple random thing u just felt. It was the last key I needed to fully engage in starting to transition up out of this dark hole. I can’t thank you enough! You have left me better and changed. Thank you for being there for me!
Tyler Francisco : Thank you so much! If there's anything else to highlight, it would be for us all to remember that all need each other... Like it or not. I value that ideal and in its spirit, I appreciate your time and concern.
Thank you for watching and for your comment. The process of speaking was definitely a healing to me. If I can do it, you can do it! May you be strong and free. Big hugs to you!
Thank you Mari, I lost my father nearly 9 years ago. I found your video because I wanted someone to relate to. It is so healing to be able to share the experience. It can be a very lonely loss.
Thank you for your comment. I am sorry to hear the loss of your father... Yes I agree with you, it is healing to be able to share the experience. Big hugs to you.
Outstanding presentation and one that should be viewed by all, both survivors and those who have not suffered a loss by suicide. God bless you Mari, and thank you for continuing to contribute to erasing the stigma.
Thank you for taking time to watch my speech and leaving your comments. I put all my heart and soul into this presentation and hoping it might help one more person out there. Blessing to you, too.
Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry for your loss and that your grief journey has been a difficult road. My mom also committed suicide. It took me 3 years to actually feel any grief. I know how hard it is to grieve alone after everyone else has come to terms with the loss. I have no idea how I put it off so long, I wish I hadn't.. I surely didn't do it on purpose. Thank you so much for speaking to that side of things. I often feel very alone in my delayed grief.
Hi Mari, this is my first ever youtube comment. You spoke so movingly about this topic that is so rarely discussed. I too lost my father at the age of 25, to bipolar and I too was the first person to see him when he hung himself. Fortunately or Unfortunately people in our building came to know and the reactions of my close relatives in the aftermath has led me to question being open with people, even those we trust. The worst reaction has been of friends, the facebook generation, too busy swearing eternal vows of friendship on social media to offer any real support. I too lost my mother in an accident related death when I was 23. I share so many commonalities with you its amazing! I'm sure your mother is very proud of you and in peace wherever she is. So is my father, I hope.
@ kiwirk c Thank you for your comment on my speech and it is your first ever youtube comment! We share a very similar experience... Thank you for sharing your story here, I am sure you have gone through so much emotional ups and downs but truly hope that you are keeping strength. Love and Light to you :)
@kiwirk c I'm very sorry for your loss. To answer your question: yes, *please* be open about the cause of death. I found my husband after he hung himself a month ago, and your comment, and your openness helped me a little bit, so does every testimony of those who've "gone through that tunnel". I still have flashbacks, of how i suddenly found my husband, how I immediately knew he was dead, how i was shaking and crying so much in shock that i couldn't even dial 911. The evening that followed is blurry: cops asking questions, emergency personnel asking if i needed medical attention (bc i was alone, not knowing anyone around)., I fought with my husband's former boss & friend bc I wanted the cause of death to be known, in case it could save even one life, in case someone in my situation has the chance to reach out and prevent their spouse's or child's suicide. I got negative reactions for being so "graphic", but also it was my husband's last statement, his last violent message, a testimony to his pain and suffering. I wish you well & hope that one year later, the grief is a little less acute...... I don't know what tomorrow has in store for me, even taking a shower drains me, i'm terrified, but i also know that random strangers who've gone through the same ordeal help me, a tiny bit at the time.
Thank you for sharing your story, it brings me hope. I lost my husband to suicide, and way too many loved ones. I appreciate your courage, and I'm so glad you got the support and healing you needed, finally.
My son took his life. I’m sad but also angry. He never thought of the immense pain he would cause. He didn’t ask for help. He just left himself there for me to find him. I think of Suicide a lot now but I can’t bring myself to inflict that kind of pain on my family. I’m sorry but right now I’m still angry.
@sethjohnson7965 The anger we feel through suicide loss is beyond anyone's imagination, I think. Sometimes it is so deep that we can't face it. I put a lid on my anger, but it was unhealthy. I think, it is good to express that you feel the anger, It's okay, I feel you. Hugs to you.
I've had to stop my mother many times as a kid from talking about suicide saying she didn't want to live anymore because of her dead beat husband from Brooklyn. Now shes just a angry women mad at him for life. I'm sorry for your loss .
Sending my love, hugs and condolences to anyone who's lost a loved one, or themselves have ever attempted or thought to. if you're looking for a sign, this is it. you are going to go on and do great things.
I lost my brother one year and nine months ago due to suicide and I was unable to face it; too much guilt and fear. I think I need to slowly start to feel the feelings and talk about it. Thank you for this beautiful talk Mari :)
Jorgeruiz That's great to hear and know that you have made progress and have a support system. I wish you nothing but the best as you continue on your journey. I find it gray to see that my brother remains with me in many ways... I'll hear him in my laugh. Look in the mirror and be startled that it's me! lol He was so integral to my development, that he will always be with me at all levels and for that, it means everything. Thank you for sharing!
I lost my husband 8 mos ago and i been devasted. It impacted my life ..our sons life he is 7 . We both have ptsd and severe anxiety ever since this happend.. we been trying to cope the best we can you video has helped me see that im not the only one going thru this.. thank you
I am so sorry to hear your loss, Mari, we share the same name. Please keep your hope that things will get better. Let's take one day at a time and you will notice you gained your strength and extra compassion. I wish I can hug you,
My father and I had a complex, trauma-woven relationship that in turn became an unbearable and confusing experience after we lost him to bipolar. It is the illness that is the problem, not the person. My father was a wonderful man with demons beyond his control. He was a firefighter and paramedic for over a decade, a lost but loving father, and always there for his family and friends whenever he was needed. He had a strong and stubborn mistrust for medical professionals in the field of psychology, and often refused treatment. My family and I had to accept that despite countless efforts there is nothing we could do. He is deeply missed and so loved. You are not alone.
Thank you for coming forward and telling of the loss of your mother to suicide and the negative stigma about suicide !! Your very courageous and I’m very grateful for you!! ❤️❤️❤️
I recently lost a coworker to suicide. I’m so heart broken, he’s the reason I looked for to go to work everyday. He had a contagious smile that I will never forget❤️
Deepest sympathy to you. I witnessed my mother’s suicide over 3 years ago. I have not gotten over it. I’m actually a psychologist... I’m hoping to spread awareness through education eventually. Stigma is a major societal problem. I’ve been open about my mom’s story from the beginning, but I lost much support in doing so. It is others like you who understand, sadly. Excellent talk. Thank you.
Thank you sharing your experience, thank you for using your loss to shine a light on this all too common experience. This was such a beautiful speech and presentation. I lost my dad to major depression when I was a teenager. I spoke out about it publicly several years later, making speeches about Suicide Prevention to local community groups and organizing fundraisers for AFSP, which was often empowering and healing, because I felt like I was helping people and reducing stigma. It also made me very vulnerable to the judgements and comments of the insensitive and un-empathetic among us, when I was still young and pretty fragile. After that year, I stopped making public speeches about suicide prevention, and I stopped telling people what really happened until I knew them very well. If new/random people asked me "how did your dad die?" I stopped telling them the truth, but I let them know it was unexpected. I wish I didn't feel like I had to stop telling the truth but peoples' reactions were too unpredictable. I feel empowered again hearing people like you. I am so glad you are strong enough to share. I know my dad was suffering incredibly, he was in terrible pain. I never saw his death as selfish, but it always hurts me to see people calling it that. I've noticed it's rarely the people closest to the person who died who say this, because when you really know and love someone who takes their life, you know how much pain they were in or how very sick they were, maybe you've watched them become a shadow of themselves and you've seen them fight hard to heal for months or years without success. Of course I went through periods of anger towards my dad, and also guilt, but the strongest emotion I have felt and continue to feel is sadness that he had to feel so awful and suffer. Thanks again for your courage.
One of the most hurtful things is when people say people say my daughter will not go to heaven, it destroys me, it’s the only hope I have. Knowing God has her, and she is at peace.
I'm so sorry people say such horrible, untrue things. No one but God knows our whole story and no one but God can determine our eternal destination. I can promise you none of these people are God and they should be worrying about their own souls when they are being so cruel to others.
I don’t think I will ever wake up and not feel pain, and guilt, I’ve heard the oh she was being selfish, she won’t be in heaven, to my daughters hearing that their mother took a cowards way out, and who ever said that was talking to a 20 year old girl who just lost her 100% disabled US Army veteran Mother. I avoid people I haven’t seen just in years because it always goes like this. How are you doing? Good to hear and the kids? Nice! and Laurie? Then comes a longline of questions where every second of the worst time of my daughters and my life no only gets brought up, and to them it’s only words and information but for me it’s images, sounds of daughters screams, and pure pain. I can only say it is a time warp where physical bodies move thru life while feelings, thoughts and growths is stuck at one moment in time. 6 years have past and I feel it was yesterday. Thank you for talking about your experience and your mom,
@tomword5619 I totally feel your pain... It has been 3 years since you left a comment here and I hope it feels like 1 week ago instead of yesterday. I hear you, it is not just the words, but the vision, smell, sound, everything when we talk about it. Huge hugs and back rub for you.
Beautiful and so touching. I lost my brother to suicide in 2015. It’s exactly as you describe it: you’re struggling with so much trauma, confusion, sadness, pain, and grief, and on top of that the stigma around losing a loved one to suicide feels like a barrier to getting help. The shame that follows makes others want to distance themselves from you, because they don’t know how to talk about it. Thank you for sharing this powerful, beautiful video. It’s okay to talk about Suicide. It’s okay to grieve.
I recently had lost my older sister to suicide. She has battled bipolar depression most of her life. But the days before that dark day , my sister looked so well , actually she was looking beautiful , full of life , happy. Was she really? We lost the rock of our family. It didn’t sink in. Our pain is unbearable!
I'm so sorry to hear your loss. My mom looked so well the night before, and she was the rock for our family as well. I totally understand how you feel. Let's take one day at a time and you never know, you will be a rock for someone one day. Big hugs to you.
This was so beautiful. Thank you so much for these insights. We lost our dear friend to suicide a few days ago and are trying to navigate the unique grief it brings. So much wisdom here for all those affected by this.
I found my mom after she hung herself and 3 years later I still cannot get that image out of my head & it has ruined my ability to be a “normal” member of society. I wish there was a way to stop the pain other than taking my own life as well.
Loved this talk. I was considering suicide because of my mental health issues but I didn't because I was afraid of how it would affect my loved ones after I was gone.
I lost a very goo friend to suicide a few weeks ago. From the moment I heard the news I cried millions of tears and I talked about it to whomever would listen. I needed talk and cry and tell people my story, his story. I have lost my parents to illness but can say honestly I had not felt the kind of grief I felt when Martin died. I am unafraid to talk out loud. My struggle currently though is I have lost years of happy memories with him to now only seeing him as the guy who committed suicide and I feel terribly bad about this.
I am sorry to hear your loss. Trust me, please know that the happy memories will come back to you. Take your time and be gentle to yourself, when you grieve well, you will live well. Big hugs to you
To hear from somebody who lost her mother in young age in such a tragic manner (seeing her hanging) saying don't think of them (you commit suicide) being selfish is such a strong statement.
I am so sorry to hear you had a similar experience. I know it is hard but I know you can make it through. Once day at a time. Big air hugs to you, you are not alone!
Thank you Willa, It was very difficult and I don't wish anyone to go through the same. But I gained a strength and compassion which is priceless. I'm well now and hope everyone well, too :)
I think we must understand one thing -the person who has died is caught up in a state where they have such tunnel vision that they believe you will be better off without them ! Or that you should be happy for them that they are finally removed from their state of pain ! Very difficult things to comprehend I know!
I lost my son to suicide four months ago.. I have had the same nightmare and cant catch him.. it’s terrifying . Thank you for sharing your experience, I cried but totally get it. THANK YOU FOR SHARING. IT DOES HELP.
Joyce Lounsbury how do you do it? I’m only 5 months out from losing my daughter and I can’t see how to go on. My life is gone, my son traumatized beyond belief, and I think my husband is going to leave me. The pain is insurmountable everyday. I’m either on autopilot or extreme grief. No in between
@@Autumnstarrify Can you find a suicide bereavement group in your area ? I hope you have someone you can speak to and ask for help. Let's take one day at a time and believe me, things will slowly get better. Grieving comes and goes like an ocean wave, but if you learn to float on the waves, things can be more manageable. You are in my warm thoughts.
My Deepest and most sincere condolences..the hardest thing to do is try to pick up the pieces life is hard lonely and sad to some of us.. and the hardest part is pretending everything is great. May God bless the people that are hurting.may God bless Tjis wonderful speaker ..Mari we love You❤
My husband did it I was only 25, Im still cry, his family turned there back's on him only two family members will talk to me, (I lost my second husband in war soon after) I can't get past my first husband 24 years later I cry, I've lost many in my field, now its just me, idk what to do, no way am I taking medicine . I help others, I can't get past losing him, this past week was the day it happened, for some reason it hurt more than ever, I've lost everyone
I feel your pain. My sister was killed by a hit and run driver while crossing the street 11/23/19 which was my birthday. I am beyond words. What helps me is counseling, books on grieving and helping others through grief. Not an easy road at all and our life will change. But we will move forward as best we can.
@Daky1001 LOL, I take it as a compliment :) I have put all my heart and soul to this speech, and this is once in a life time experience. I am thankful that people taking time to watch my speech, whether right at the event or 20 years from now :)
Thank you so much for your graceful words and sharing your painful story. It helps a lot to know others feel same as we do, esp in finding loved one the same way. God bless you. Thank you so very much.
i lost my memere to kidney failure on the dark morning of january 9 2017 i fell into an intense depression i got so angry i broke things when that realization hit me that i'm going in for surgery and memere can no longer be there. my little cousin i swear she saw the hurt i was feeling when i saw her the other day because she desperately wants to see me after the surgery so i'm not feeling alone. i never thought a 10 year old could notice that in someone who is 32 years old.
Thank you for sharing your story. My sister was killed 11/23/19 on my birthday by a hit and run driver while crossing the street. The person left her in the street . I feel your pain...a different type of pain but pain.
Ugh. I could only watch a little. I wish you continued healing. I will be remembering my brother in law the day after tomorrow on the one year anniversary of his suicide,
my husband died from suicide 5 years yrs ago....after a time i came to accept and respect for my husbands choice...i was with him the month before he killed himself and i saw his physical health leave his body and his feeling of hopelessness...i entered him in a hospital ...after coming home ....he could not wait long enough for the medicine to work....his emotional .. mental and physical pain was too much for him and he finally had to end his torture of the darkness he was in....i knew that that immense pain for him finally ended ....i will miss him til the day i die and i go on for him....because before he died that i was so strong....i g on for him...
@Barbara Duggan, I feel your pain,,,even thought it's been 5 years, it must feel like a week ago or yesterday. Please take it day by day, and know that things will get better, or you will be better at dealing with your emotion. Until then, one day at a time... Big hugs to you...
thank you Mari...i feel your empathy regarding my great loss ... i go on ...simply because i have to...for myself ...i feel fior you the loss of your mother....your mother and my husband have gone onto their journey and an understanding which we here alive will be there in our time....Sissetowan-Wahpetowan Dakota Sioux ...
THANK YOU for posting! As a four-time familial suicide survivor (husband at 19, my mother at 48, 2nd husband 28, & cousin age 21. Father died at 54, in my arms, due to alcoholism), I understand the great pain and stigma associated with the loss of a loved one by suicide. I didn't just "Survive," I found a way to "Thrive."' Need a friend? -@ Teardrops That Tango. ✞ Friendz; You are strong. You are beautiful. When it feels like the rest of the world is unreachable, help is out there. When the rest of the world feels like too much to handle, there is always someone or something that can help you take control of your thoughts, your actions, and your mental health. What you need to remember in times like these, is that you are never alone.
Thank you! Watching this means a lot. A friend of mine just committed suicide this week and I feel so guilty as I was the last friend she met up with. I knew she had problems but I never thought she will end her life. We were laughing and she even said she hasn’t laughed that much since that day. I really hope she find peace. And I will eventually heal.
I was the one who found my older brother in his room from hanging himself, i had to cut the wired cable and take it off his neck, than i called the police, it's been nearly over 2 weeks and i think I've been in shock since, i have hope that this pain will not be with me forever, i also have hope that time will heal, i understand that this is something i'll never truly get over, but i hope it get easier, this kind of pain is something i would want no one to live with or go through, The pain is now over for my brother, but mine has just begun.
I am so sorry to hear you had to have a similar experience that I went through. I wish I could see you and share hugs with each other. It must be so hard for you, but please keep the hope that things will get easier. There are times it feels things are going backwards, but there are times when you feel strong. One day at a time. May you be well today.
My sister shot herself she put a gun in her mouth and pulled the trigger she committed suicide because her two children her only two children were both killed by a drunk driver at the same time this same sister lost her father (we have the same mother) when she was 9 her father drowns trying to save someone else I miss my sister so much
I lost my grandpa by suicide 2 years ago . I could not say God bye living 15.000pkm away. My familie at fist hid that from me and my mum, I still managing how to forgive and let go. Not just for him or my u cle or cousins who never visited him. for me...
I think it would be a good idea for society to become gentler on the individuals too. I think people have made life unbearable for lots of people. The world is not as beautiful and happy and humourous, if we focussed more on making people laugh instead of insulting people, we could make our lifes more cheerful. The society we live in is harsh, although i can only speak on london, uk. Community can make or break a person.
You should follow your inner voice. If this means suicide awareness then more power. The world would be a paradise if all humans followed their inner feelings or conscious than cave into peer pressure.
Thank you for speaking about this, Mari. I lost my little brother and best friend to suicide a month and a half ago. I also was the person who found him. Although I am experiencing some PTSD, I cannot help but be grateful for the fact that when I found him, he looked sound asleep, like he was finally at peace. However, all of the rude comments, invasive questions, and negativity from others seriously impacted me in a bad way. I am struggling to take care of myself, relate to others, and sometimes I just disassociate from reality. It feels as if my life has ended, and my body is on autopilot. To be completely honest, the only reason for which I would not also take my life is because I could never have my parents go through this pain twice. I thank you for speaking of your experience, and hope to recover in his memory.
@mouse, I aplogize for the delayed response. I am so sorry to hear you also had a similar experience, but good to hear that he looked peacefully sleeping. It is a struggle to hear negative comments, invasive questions, but I learned to listen to my heart through the negative noise. I am the same with you, the only reason I didn't take my life is because I didn't let my sister go through the same pain again. It is too painful and I never wish upon anyone, even the worst enemy (if I ever have), to go through the same. My life has completely went upside down, but I regained the normality in an abnomal. I couldn't remember my mom's smile for a long long time, but now I do. If you need someone to chat, please find me on FB. Hugs,
Mari
Hello, i lost my brother too. recently. im looking for people to talk about it.
I sympathize and I recognize your experience. I was the one who found my older brother recently and it’s been very hard to go through the motions of life.
This is my first time seeing this video and I am responding to your 2 year old post. I am so sorry for your loss and I hope you are finding joy in your life as you continue to remember your brother.
Samantha Green : I'm just reading this but I'm hoping your request to talk to someone was fulfilled. If it wasn't or for any reason at all, I am definitely here to listen and discuss anything. Reach out and I'm here!
I lost my wife 5 weeks ago to suicide. It all unravelled so quickly. I'm typing this under the window she jumped out of. I live in Korea, and it's a huge issue here. There is such a stigma, as Mari mentions, and they try to sweep it under the carpet. Same with mental illness. It's a sign of weakness. It's sad. Much love to this woman for sharing her experience.
I’m praying for you!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
@@tylerfrancisco9888 Thank you, Tyler. Much love and respect to you. It just passed 6 months now, and it's a bit easier, but it still makes my head spin.
I am so sorry to hear your loss. May your wife's soul at peace and her smiles continue to be alive in your heart. Hugs to you.
@@MariOkazaki that's very kind of you to comment to me directly, Mari. I really appreciate it. I try to believe that her soul is at peace, and I also try hard to remember the good times, and accept that not everything in life is roses. We have to learn from these experiences. Hugs to you, also.
My deepest sympathy for you. I lost my little cousin and most painfully, my precious baby sister to suicide. I am so sorry that you are having to live this pain. Words cannot describe how much I wish you were not living this. But, my prayers and thoughts are with you, and I hope you have support during this unbearable tragedy. I'm so sorry.
I lost my husband a year ago tomorrow. It's been the hardest thing I've ever lived through. But I'm still here. And I'm still trying!
Thank you for leaving your comment here. I am so sorry to hear your loss...
Big hugs to you @ Amyithist Nichole.
Mari Okazaki thank you. Hugs to you too.
Amyithist Nichole how are you doing? Hope things are better.
You are a beautiful, courageous and compassionate person Mari, your Mum would be very proud
Thank you so much for watching, Amanda. I appreciate your kind words :)
Very brave, I love you sister 💖🙏🇳🇿
my father committed suicide 40 years ago when I was 15 and I find myself thinking about it more now since I found it so difficult to talk about back then. thank you Mari.
@ Cathy Ellis, thank you for your comment. I believe that grieving comes and goes as we age and never too late to deal with emotions from our young age. Thank you for saying "thank you Mari", really appreciate you took time to watch this video :)
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. Hugs to you.
I lost my son to suicide may 2 2013. He was almost 29 years old. I cant believe that Im watching this, or even typing this. I always avoid talking about it and when I think about it (which is everyday) I just put it out of my mind. It hurts so bad. Maybe this is my first step to try and feel better. I cried through your talk and almost changed the channel, but I made it through. Thank you.
i hope you are better now , i think he had a good reason for that and it was his own choice he probably was fighting himself and now he is rested and we all will get rested someday
Sending much love and good vibes your way. And your way, to whoever's reading.
My heart goes out to you Rhonda. Thank you for your courage to watch it to the end. I hope there will be a time for you that you can think of his smiles with a smile on your face, healing takes one step at a time, sometimes step backward and it is okay. Hugs to you.
God bless you. 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾😔
This is so good and good to hear. I lost my Uncle to suicide 3 days ago and as someone who has contemplated their own suicide before, this situation is breaking my heart. Her words are very encouraging and made me feel at peace for the 1st time since we found him. Thank you so much again!!!❤
I am so sorry to hear your loss... Thank you for finding my speech and sharing your story here. Praying your uncle's soul is at peace.
I found a noose in my daughter's drawer when she was 18 and it affected me deeply. I cannot imagine finding someone you love hanging. The trauma would be unbearable. Mari, you are such a strong woman. God bless you.
Thank you for your comment. May you be well today
I pray your daughter is still with us
I remember when my therapist said, “you healed.” I looked at him somewhat confused and slightly wondered if he was cutting our session short lol he said, “you spoke your story without crying. You have healed.”
14:46
Thank you sooo much for sharing your experience
My parents raised me catholic and when my dad took his own life, the church said he did not go to heaven. I have been angry about this for the last 10, almost 11 years. It’s less and less upsetting, but it still makes no sense how a belief system would have such an attitude, especially during such a devastating time.
08:57
I am so proud of you and extremely grateful for your bravery. Thank you so much for this video.
Don’t worry he’ll is not real. No one really knows what happens when u die but likely ur just gone into forever as it’s all in ur head to begin with.
Hugs to you.
Hes probably at peace now
The Catholic church does not believe that irrational nonsense anymore. God, in his infinite Mercy, understands desperation. God has never judged a suffering soul that way. It is a shame that that lie has been perpetuated.
Be at peace!@@flamingfrenchfry2877
My heart goes out to anyone who's lost someone they loved, whether to suicide or not. Stay strong ❤️
Thank you for your comment. My heart is with you, going out to anyone who lost their loved ones in any form of death.
Lost my dad to suicide 6 mos. ago and can't move on. I'm so furious and devastated and tired.
Huge hugs to you...
Finally!!! Lost my brother to suicide in 2014 and have been saying since then survivirs of suicide loss need to share the raw brutal truth of their lives after such a loss, I believe the survivors of suicide loss are the key to stopping suicides or help bring them down. Thank you for sharing
I am so sorry to hear your loss... I agree with you, the key to stop suicides are to help survivors of suicides. Hugs to you and your loved ones.
The key to stopping suicides is to end the stigma associated with suicide and to get these people better and easier treatment.
I lost my 93 year old father last month (2weeks) before Thanksgiving. I never ever thought that something like this could happen. It’s such a horrible pain. I miss my dad sooo much. I wish this would have never happened. I cry for his absence everyday . I pray to God for His strength and God helps me through this every day. Mari thank you so much for sharing your experience with us. You are a brave and beautiful woman. May God bless you. Your video has helped me deal with my grieving and healing process. Once again Mari , thank you for sharing. You are right about the stigma on suicide. It almost feels like you are on your own dealing with all the sadness and grief. Wish you well Mari
I am very sorry for your loss. My sister also suddenly committed suicide last year, and I have still been dealing with this with tremendous grief and confusion as well, but I still can't imagine the pain you've been going through..
This talk you gave has meant so much to me.
Thank you very much, and may your mother rest in peace.
Thank you for taking time to watch my talk. Hope you find strength from your experience. If I can do it, you can do it, too. All the best for you!
My dad hung himself one week ago. His wife for 47 years found him. I got him down and tried to resuscitate as we found him immediately but it was sadly to no avail. When the moment came to inform our entourage, we shortly discussed what we would say, and we agreed to tell the truth as we felt no shame. I was surprised about how many colleagues lost parents to it. It’s so taboo! Someone called him selfish, I just answered : you do know nothing, he gave us everything but he was unbearably suffering and I allow him to lay down and rest. It is also selfish to want parents to suffer so much for so long just so we, the survivors, do not have to grief/suffer/share the burden, isn’t it?
I wish he would still be here, I wish we could have helped, I wish I could have say goodbye, I miss him.
A beautiful understanding of your dad. God bless you and your family
I feel you and your mom. Hugs to you..
What a genuine and heartfelt talk about an very sad but important subject. Thank you.
Thank you for your kind words.
I will never stop grieving the loss of my beloved daughter, and that's ok.
You are right, depression is like cancer, cancer in the mind. My daughter ended her pain.
@DonnaOpulento Big hugs to you Donna, grieving is like ocean waves. Sometimes huge, sometimes calm, but never stop and that is okay. Hugs.
Thank you so much , Mari , for your soothing inspirational talk. May it bring comfort and solace to all survivors.... My family is coping as best we can with the loss of son Kinkin who died May 16,2019 at age 39 under mysterious circumstances. His mom is inconsolable! Am still in disbelief ! but we are somewhat consoled by the fact that his spirit is imperishable and he was very well loved, never to be forgotten. . . an exceptional artist, too sensitive and kind to be walking this earth. His time was simply up.
Thank you for watching. I am so sorry to hear your loss ... May his smile be alive in your heart.
I need to extend my personal appreciation for telling your story with honesty. I lost my best friend and big brother almost 9 years ago this month. It has taken from 2011 until right now in 2020 to hear where a survivor had also buried their grief and suffered greatly for years in silence before finally realizing that I could pick up where I had left it and now have gone thru the many stages of grief I had denied myself for so long thinking that I seemed to be different in the delayed and complicated grief. When I felt your story heading that way I was stuck in mutt head thinking omg she’s going to say it!!! And you did and that final emotion of feeling wrong this many years later let go and I bowed my head with you. That’s not a simple random thing u just felt. It was the last key I needed to fully engage in starting to transition up out of this dark hole. I can’t thank you enough! You have left me better and changed. Thank you for being there for me!
I’m praying for you!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Tyler Francisco : Thank you so much! If there's anything else to highlight, it would be for us all to remember that all need each other... Like it or not. I value that ideal and in its spirit, I appreciate your time and concern.
Thank you for watching and for your comment. The process of speaking was definitely a healing to me. If I can do it, you can do it! May you be strong and free. Big hugs to you!
A beautiful truthful personal story that will definitely heal others who have gone through this.
@eriko p
Thank you for your comment, your kind words mean a lot to me :)
Thank you Mari, I lost my father nearly 9 years ago. I found your video because I wanted someone to relate to. It is so healing to be able to share the experience. It can be a very lonely loss.
Thank you for your comment. I am sorry to hear the loss of your father... Yes I agree with you, it is healing to be able to share the experience. Big hugs to you.
Outstanding presentation and one that should be viewed by all, both survivors and those who have not suffered a loss by suicide. God bless you Mari, and thank you for continuing to contribute to erasing the stigma.
Thank you for taking your time to watch my speech. Your kind words lift my spirits. Hope this message reaches to many more.
Thank you for taking time to watch my speech and leaving your comments. I put all my heart and soul into this presentation and hoping it might help one more person out there. Blessing to you, too.
Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry for your loss and that your grief journey has been a difficult road. My mom also committed suicide. It took me 3 years to actually feel any grief. I know how hard it is to grieve alone after everyone else has come to terms with the loss. I have no idea how I put it off so long, I wish I hadn't.. I surely didn't do it on purpose. Thank you so much for speaking to that side of things. I often feel very alone in my delayed grief.
Hi Mari, this is my first ever youtube comment. You spoke so movingly about this topic that is so rarely discussed. I too lost my father at the age of 25, to bipolar and I too was the first person to see him when he hung himself. Fortunately or Unfortunately people in our building came to know and the reactions of my close relatives in the aftermath has led me to question being open with people, even those we trust. The worst reaction has been of friends, the facebook generation, too busy swearing eternal vows of friendship on social media to offer any real support. I too lost my mother in an accident related death when I was 23. I share so many commonalities with you its amazing! I'm sure your mother is very proud of you and in peace wherever she is. So is my father, I hope.
@ kiwirk c
Thank you for your comment on my speech and it is your first ever youtube comment! We share a very similar experience... Thank you for sharing your story here, I am sure you have gone through so much emotional ups and downs but truly hope that you are keeping strength. Love and Light to you :)
@kiwirk c I'm very sorry for your loss. To answer your question: yes, *please* be open about the cause of death. I found my husband after he hung himself a month ago, and your comment, and your openness helped me a little bit, so does every testimony of those who've "gone through that tunnel". I still have flashbacks, of how i suddenly found my husband, how I immediately knew he was dead, how i was shaking and crying so much in shock that i couldn't even dial 911. The evening that followed is blurry: cops asking questions, emergency personnel asking if i needed medical attention (bc i was alone, not knowing anyone around)., I fought with my husband's former boss & friend bc I wanted the cause of death to be known, in case it could save even one life, in case someone in my situation has the chance to reach out and prevent their spouse's or child's suicide. I got negative reactions for being so "graphic", but also it was my husband's last statement, his last violent message, a testimony to his pain and suffering. I wish you well & hope that one year later, the grief is a little less acute...... I don't know what tomorrow has in store for me, even taking a shower drains me, i'm terrified, but i also know that random strangers who've gone through the same ordeal help me, a tiny bit at the time.
Thank you for sharing your story, it brings me hope. I lost my husband to suicide, and way too many loved ones. I appreciate your courage, and I'm so glad you got the support and healing you needed, finally.
I am so sorry to hear your loss. I am sure all the sadness will turn into strength and you will help many which brings back your healing.
My son took his life. I’m sad but also angry. He never thought of the immense pain he would cause. He didn’t ask for help. He just left himself there for me to find him. I think of Suicide a lot now but I can’t bring myself to inflict that kind of pain on my family. I’m sorry but right now I’m still angry.
@sethjohnson7965 The anger we feel through suicide loss is beyond anyone's imagination, I think. Sometimes it is so deep that we can't face it. I put a lid on my anger, but it was unhealthy. I think, it is good to express that you feel the anger, It's okay, I feel you. Hugs to you.
I lost my mom to suicide too, thank you so much for sharing your story. It helps to know I am not alone.
I've had to stop my mother many times as a kid from talking about suicide saying she didn't want to live anymore because of her dead beat husband from Brooklyn. Now shes just a angry women mad at him for life. I'm sorry for your loss .
THank you for finding this speech and taking time to watch. I am so sorry to hear your loss... My heart goes out to you so you feel you are not alone.
Sending my love, hugs and condolences to anyone who's lost a loved one, or themselves have ever attempted or thought to.
if you're looking for a sign, this is it.
you are going to go on and do great things.
thanks
I lost my brother one year and nine months ago due to suicide and I was unable to face it; too much guilt and fear. I think I need to slowly start to feel the feelings and talk about it. Thank you for this beautiful talk Mari :)
Thank you for watching my talk. Hope your heart find strength. If I can do it, you can do it!
Here's checking in a year later! How are you doing these days Jorgeruiz?
@@JaredCunningham1984 Hi thanks for asking! I would say much better. I was able to talk (and feel) about it with a therapist and some friends.
Jorgeruiz That's great to hear and know that you have made progress and have a support system. I wish you nothing but the best as you continue on your journey. I find it gray to see that my brother remains with me in many ways... I'll hear him in my laugh. Look in the mirror and be startled that it's me! lol He was so integral to my development, that he will always be with me at all levels and for that, it means everything. Thank you for sharing!
@@JaredCunningham1984 Thanks!! :) And it´s nice to see you have a good attitude about it! Thanks for sharing!
The prerequisite to any mourning and sorrow by the survivors is that the person was loved...
Such beautiful sincerity, honesty and grace - a blessing.
I lost my husband 8 mos ago and i been devasted. It impacted my life ..our sons life he is 7 . We both have ptsd and severe anxiety ever since this happend.. we been trying to cope the best we can you video has helped me see that im not the only one going thru this.. thank you
I am so sorry to hear your loss, Mari, we share the same name. Please keep your hope that things will get better. Let's take one day at a time and you will notice you gained your strength and extra compassion. I wish I can hug you,
My father and I had a complex, trauma-woven relationship that in turn became an unbearable and confusing experience after we lost him to bipolar. It is the illness that is the problem, not the person. My father was a wonderful man with demons beyond his control. He was a firefighter and paramedic for over a decade, a lost but loving father, and always there for his family and friends whenever he was needed.
He had a strong and stubborn mistrust for medical professionals in the field of psychology, and often refused treatment. My family and I had to accept that despite countless efforts there is nothing we could do. He is deeply missed and so loved. You are not alone.
Thank you for coming forward and telling of the loss of your mother to suicide and the negative stigma about suicide !! Your very courageous and I’m very grateful for you!! ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for watching!
I recently lost a coworker to suicide. I’m so heart broken, he’s the reason I looked for to go to work everyday. He had a contagious smile that I will never forget❤️
I’m praying for you!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
May his smiles continue to be alive in your heart.
Hope you're doing okay ❤️
Deepest sympathy to you. I witnessed my mother’s suicide over 3 years ago. I have not gotten over it. I’m actually a psychologist... I’m hoping to spread awareness through education eventually. Stigma is a major societal problem. I’ve been open about my mom’s story from the beginning, but I lost much support in doing so. It is others like you who understand, sadly. Excellent talk. Thank you.
I am so sorry to hear your loss. I think this experience is hard for any human.. Big air hugs to you.
Thank you sharing your experience, thank you for using your loss to shine a light on this all too common experience. This was such a beautiful speech and presentation. I lost my dad to major depression when I was a teenager. I spoke out about it publicly several years later, making speeches about Suicide Prevention to local community groups and organizing fundraisers for AFSP, which was often empowering and healing, because I felt like I was helping people and reducing stigma. It also made me very vulnerable to the judgements and comments of the insensitive and un-empathetic among us, when I was still young and pretty fragile. After that year, I stopped making public speeches about suicide prevention, and I stopped telling people what really happened until I knew them very well. If new/random people asked me "how did your dad die?" I stopped telling them the truth, but I let them know it was unexpected. I wish I didn't feel like I had to stop telling the truth but peoples' reactions were too unpredictable. I feel empowered again hearing people like you. I am so glad you are strong enough to share. I know my dad was suffering incredibly, he was in terrible pain. I never saw his death as selfish, but it always hurts me to see people calling it that. I've noticed it's rarely the people closest to the person who died who say this, because when you really know and love someone who takes their life, you know how much pain they were in or how very sick they were, maybe you've watched them become a shadow of themselves and you've seen them fight hard to heal for months or years without success. Of course I went through periods of anger towards my dad, and also guilt, but the strongest emotion I have felt and continue to feel is sadness that he had to feel so awful and suffer. Thanks again for your courage.
One of the most hurtful things is when people say people say my daughter will not go to heaven, it destroys me, it’s the only hope I have. Knowing God has her, and she is at peace.
I’m praying for you!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Absolutely, your daughter is with god and is in heaven and watching out for you, daughter's love to her mom is eternal. Big hugs to you.
I'm so sorry people say such horrible, untrue things. No one but God knows our whole story and no one but God can determine our eternal destination. I can promise you none of these people are God and they should be worrying about their own souls when they are being so cruel to others.
I don’t think I will ever wake up and not feel pain, and guilt, I’ve heard the oh she was being selfish, she won’t be in heaven, to my daughters hearing that their mother took a cowards way out, and who ever said that was talking to a 20 year old girl who just lost her 100% disabled US Army veteran Mother. I avoid people I haven’t seen just in years because it always goes like this. How are you doing? Good to hear and the kids? Nice! and Laurie? Then comes a longline of questions where every second of the worst time of my daughters and my life no only gets brought up, and to them it’s only words and information but for me it’s images, sounds of daughters screams, and pure pain. I can only say it is a time warp where physical bodies move thru life while feelings, thoughts and growths is stuck at one moment in time. 6 years have past and I feel it was yesterday. Thank you for talking about your experience and your mom,
@tomword5619 I totally feel your pain... It has been 3 years since you left a comment here and I hope it feels like 1 week ago instead of yesterday. I hear you, it is not just the words, but the vision, smell, sound, everything when we talk about it. Huge hugs and back rub for you.
Lost my wife of 30 years to suicide, thank you for sharing, God bless you 🙏
Thank you Mari for sharing. Yor experience and honesty is a great comfort and help.
Beautiful and so touching. I lost my brother to suicide in 2015. It’s exactly as you describe it: you’re struggling with so much trauma, confusion, sadness, pain, and grief, and on top of that the stigma around losing a loved one to suicide feels like a barrier to getting help. The shame that follows makes others want to distance themselves from you, because they don’t know how to talk about it. Thank you for sharing this powerful, beautiful video. It’s okay to talk about Suicide. It’s okay to grieve.
I recently had lost my older sister to suicide. She has battled bipolar depression most of her life. But the days before that dark day , my sister looked so well , actually she was looking beautiful , full of life , happy. Was she really? We lost the rock of our family. It didn’t sink in. Our pain is unbearable!
I’m praying for you!! 💜💜💜❤️❤️❤️❤️
I'm so sorry to hear your loss. My mom looked so well the night before, and she was the rock for our family as well. I totally understand how you feel. Let's take one day at a time and you never know, you will be a rock for someone one day. Big hugs to you.
@@lightinthedusk Thank you for your comment. Looking back how my mom went, it makes sense to me. Thank you.
As some with bipolar disorder this talk is simply beautiful and empowering. Keep doing your great work. It will save lives.
Thank you. I continue to talk to people about it. If I can save one more life!
This was so beautiful. Thank you so much for these insights. We lost our dear friend to suicide a few days ago and are trying to navigate the unique grief it brings. So much wisdom here for all those affected by this.
I love the way she speaks. She don't blame anyone for anything. She have so much power in her voice
That was so beautiful, Mari. You are an inspiration! I will share this with a friend who's son committed suicide.Blessings to you and your work.
Thank you DP, hope this helped your friend... Hugs.
It's reflecting on the signs that gets me. Something was up, I just could not connect the dots.
I would do anything to turn back time.
So beautifully and and compassionately and bravely spoken. Thank you
Thank you for taking time to watch my talk! All the best for you.
I found my mom after she hung herself and 3 years later I still cannot get that image out of my head & it has ruined my ability to be a “normal” member of society. I wish there was a way to stop the pain other than taking my own life as well.
you dont had to be a normal member in the socity , you could make your own world and enjoy it as long as you dont harm others
Loved this talk. I was considering suicide because of my mental health issues but I didn't because I was afraid of how it would affect my loved ones after I was gone.
Just lost my baby cousin this way; it has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with... no one knows what to say. Thank you for this video.
It does seem that way 🥺 I’m praying for you ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Tyler Francisco thank you 💜
I am sorry to hear your loss. One day you will be the heartfelt listener for others, until then, let's keep moving forward. Big hugs to you.
i recently lost a close friend to suicide. The grieving is hard. Thankyou for this
Big air hugs to you!
I lost a very goo friend to suicide a few weeks ago. From the moment I heard the news I cried millions of tears and I talked about it to whomever would listen. I needed talk and cry and tell people my story, his story. I have lost my parents to illness but can say honestly I had not felt the kind of grief I felt when Martin died. I am unafraid to talk out loud. My struggle currently though is I have lost years of happy memories with him to now only seeing him as the guy who committed suicide and I feel terribly bad about this.
I’m praying for you in your grief!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I am sorry to hear your loss. Trust me, please know that the happy memories will come back to you. Take your time and be gentle to yourself, when you grieve well, you will live well. Big hugs to you
Many more people should watch this!..
Thank you for watching. I put all my heart and soul to bring this speech together, please feel free to share with others!
Thank you for sharing. I lost my brother 18 yrs ago. I have a major anxiety disorder still to this day
To hear from somebody who lost her mother in young age in such a tragic manner (seeing her hanging) saying don't think of them (you commit suicide) being selfish is such a strong statement.
You speak beautifully. Thank you.
@zhang chen, Thank you for watching and your comment.
Thank you for your wonderful talk... I am so sorry for your loss.. I do understand as much as a person can .. Bless you
Thank you for taking time to watch my speech. I appreciate your comment.
I lost my youngest brother 3 weeks ago it is unbearable!
Huge hugs to you.
My mother committed suicide almost a month ago and I found her I'm 20 years old. I thank you for your message ❤️
I am so sorry to hear you had a similar experience. I know it is hard but I know you can make it through. Once day at a time. Big air hugs to you, you are not alone!
I am praying for you!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I'm so very sorry that you had to live through this.
Thank you Willa, It was very difficult and I don't wish anyone to go through the same. But I gained a strength and compassion which is priceless. I'm well now and hope everyone well, too :)
I think we must understand one thing -the person who has died is caught up in a state where they have such tunnel vision that they believe you will be better off without them !
Or that you should be happy for them that they are finally removed from their state of pain !
Very difficult things to comprehend I know!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I agree with you.
Thank you for putting the spot on this. Take good care beautiful 💙
I lost my son to suicide four months ago.. I have had the same nightmare and cant catch him.. it’s terrifying . Thank you for sharing your experience, I cried but totally get it. THANK YOU FOR SHARING. IT DOES HELP.
Joyce Lounsbury how do you do it? I’m only 5 months out from losing my daughter and I can’t see how to go on. My life is gone, my son traumatized beyond belief, and I think my husband is going to leave me. The pain is insurmountable everyday. I’m either on autopilot or extreme grief. No in between
I’m so sorry! I’m praying for you ❤️❤️❤️❤️
@@Autumnstarrify Can you find a suicide bereavement group in your area ? I hope you have someone you can speak to and ask for help. Let's take one day at a time and believe me, things will slowly get better. Grieving comes and goes like an ocean wave, but if you learn to float on the waves, things can be more manageable. You are in my warm thoughts.
Thank you Mari. I know exactly how you feel.
Comforting to know we are not alone :)
My Deepest and most sincere condolences..the hardest thing to do is try to pick up the pieces life is hard lonely and sad to some of us.. and the hardest part is pretending everything is great. May God bless the people that are hurting.may God bless Tjis wonderful speaker ..Mari we love You❤
Thank you, I feel the love from you thank you.
My husband did it I was only 25, Im still cry, his family turned there back's on him only two family members will talk to me, (I lost my second husband in war soon after) I can't get past my first husband 24 years later I cry, I've lost many in my field, now its just me, idk what to do, no way am I taking medicine . I help others, I can't get past losing him, this past week was the day it happened, for some reason it hurt more than ever, I've lost everyone
Sorry for your loss please consider speaking to a professional to help you deal with this lengthy pain.
I am so sorry to hear you loss... Hugs to you!
I feel your pain. My sister was killed by a hit and run driver while crossing the street 11/23/19 which was my birthday. I am beyond words. What helps me is counseling, books on grieving and helping others through grief. Not an easy road at all and our life will change. But we will move forward as best we can.
Mari you are amazing. Such an inspiration.
Thank you. I hope my message gets to many people.
@Mari Okazaki I can't believe you're still answering to people 20 months after the video has been uploaded lol
@Daky1001 LOL, I take it as a compliment :)
I have put all my heart and soul to this speech, and this is once in a life time experience. I am thankful that people taking time to watch my speech, whether right at the event or 20 years from now :)
Thank you for sharing this amazing experience. It is truly gut wrenching.
Thank you for watching and your comment.
What a gracious woman.
Beautiful talk Mari.
Thank you Dwayne !
Suicide is the saddest thing ever stay strong❤
@Mario92829 Thank you ❤
Thank you so much for your graceful words and sharing your painful story. It helps a lot to know others feel same as we do, esp in finding loved one the same way. God bless you. Thank you so very much.
I've lost so many loved ones to suicide and I don't blame them one bit
That i truely respectable i hope my mother will feel the same way.
I’m praying for you!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you so much for your comment and compassion.
i lost my memere to kidney failure on the dark morning of january 9 2017 i fell into an intense depression i got so angry i broke things when that realization hit me that i'm going in for surgery and memere can no longer be there. my little cousin i swear she saw the hurt i was feeling when i saw her the other day because she desperately wants to see me after the surgery so i'm not feeling alone. i never thought a 10 year old could notice that in someone who is 32 years old.
Thank you for sharing. Big hugs to you and I trust that your surgery will go well.
Thank you for sharing your story, it was incredibly moving and powerful. I send you much love.
Thank you
Thank you for sharing your story. My sister was killed 11/23/19 on my birthday by a hit and run driver while crossing the street. The person left her in the street . I feel your pain...a different type of pain but pain.
Jesus I trust in you. You take care of everything.
I’m praying for you!! ❤️❤️❤️
I am sorry to hear your loss. It must be very difficult to lose your sister. I am sure she gained her angel wings and looking out for you. Big hugs
In 2 months in Lethbridge Ab. We had 12 suicides. My son was one of them.
My dad committed suicide when I was 11 months old and now I am 13 years old almost 14 years old he did it on July 17 2005
I am praying for you!!
Thank you for your comment. He gained wings and watching out for you. May you be well.
Sending you love, Isabel. In my own way, I understand bc my dad took his life as well. I love you! Sending you soo much love.
Thank you for sharing this with all of us and shining a bright light on suicide. Thank you for your courage.
Thank you Connie
Ugh. I could only watch a little. I wish you continued healing. I will be remembering my brother in law the day after tomorrow on the one year anniversary of his suicide,
my husband died from suicide 5 years yrs ago....after a time i came to accept and respect for my husbands choice...i was with him the month before he killed himself and i saw his physical health leave his body and his feeling of hopelessness...i entered him in a hospital ...after coming home ....he could not wait long enough for the medicine to work....his emotional .. mental and physical pain was too much for him and he finally had to end his torture of the darkness he was in....i knew that that immense pain for him finally ended ....i will miss him til the day i die and i go on for him....because before he died that i was so strong....i g on for him...
@Barbara Duggan, I feel your pain,,,even thought it's been 5 years, it must feel like a week ago or yesterday. Please take it day by day, and know that things will get better, or you will be better at dealing with your emotion. Until then, one day at a time... Big hugs to you...
thank you Mari...i feel your empathy regarding my great loss ... i go on ...simply because i have to...for myself ...i feel fior you the loss of your mother....your mother and my husband have gone onto their journey and an understanding which we here alive will be there in our time....Sissetowan-Wahpetowan Dakota Sioux ...
What a wonderful speech! There are a lot of things I have to reconsider about suicide...THANK YOU!!!
@Saveurital, thank you for being open to reconsider about suicide!
THANK YOU for posting! As a four-time familial suicide survivor (husband at 19, my mother at 48, 2nd husband 28, & cousin age 21. Father died at 54, in my arms, due to alcoholism), I understand the great pain and stigma associated with the loss of a loved one by suicide. I didn't just "Survive," I found a way to "Thrive."' Need a friend? -@ Teardrops That Tango.
✞
Friendz; You are strong. You are beautiful. When it feels like the rest of the world is unreachable, help is out there. When the rest of the world feels like too much to handle, there is always someone or something that can help you take control of your thoughts, your actions, and your mental health. What you need to remember in times like these, is that you are never alone.
Thank you for taking time to watch my talk. Wishing you all the best!
That was so beautiful and well told. Thank you Mari.
I'm so sorry
Thank you! Watching this means a lot. A friend of mine just committed suicide this week and I feel so guilty as I was the last friend she met up with. I knew she had problems but I never thought she will end her life. We were laughing and she even said she hasn’t laughed that much since that day. I really hope she find peace. And I will eventually heal.
Hey
The person I lost that I loved was myself say some but I say I’m happy to be lost .my thoughts I’m lost in them and my tears
My God, you are so strong im so proud of you!! Huge hugs 🤗 ❤
Outstanding!
I was the one who found my older brother in his room from hanging himself, i had to cut the wired cable and take it off his neck, than i called the police, it's been nearly over 2 weeks and i think I've been in shock since, i have hope that this pain will not be with me forever, i also have hope that time will heal, i understand that this is something i'll never truly get over, but i hope it get easier, this kind of pain is something i would want no one to live with or go through, The pain is now over for my brother, but mine has just begun.
I am so sorry to hear you had to have a similar experience that I went through. I wish I could see you and share hugs with each other. It must be so hard for you, but please keep the hope that things will get easier. There are times it feels things are going backwards, but there are times when you feel strong. One day at a time. May you be well today.
My sister shot herself she put a gun in her mouth and pulled the trigger she committed suicide because her two children her only two children were both killed by a drunk driver at the same time this same sister lost her father (we have the same mother) when she was 9 her father drowns trying to save someone else I miss my sister so much
I lost my grandpa by suicide 2 years ago . I could not say God bye living 15.000pkm away. My familie at fist hid that from me and my mum, I still managing how to forgive and let go. Not just for him or my u cle or cousins who never visited him. for me...
I’m praying for you!! This hurts🥺 ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Big hugs for you.
Jesus christ cheese on bread. There are no words to say how much love I have for this woman. X
I think it would be a good idea for society to become gentler on the individuals too. I think people have made life unbearable for lots of people. The world is not as beautiful and happy and humourous, if we focussed more on making people laugh instead of insulting people, we could make our lifes more cheerful. The society we live in is harsh, although i can only speak on london, uk. Community can make or break a person.
Thank you for your comment, I hear you.
You should follow your inner voice. If this means suicide awareness then more power. The world would be a paradise if all humans followed their inner feelings or conscious than cave into peer pressure.
Thank you, that's true.
I lost my Brother John 4wks ago to suicide, I can’t move forward Riep John 💔💔💔
thank you
we all have to cope with the world Suicide is juge from people that don't know loss or simply people people have to cope to live a better live.
I agree with you. Thank you for watching and leaving a comment here. Blessing to you.