😲 I know her personally, she was my neighbor in LA. Oh she is so kind and sweet to my family and I. She is a tough coookie, yet she ALWAYS, ALWAYS has a smile on her face and talks about her kids and shows me pictures of them. She is kindheartly a good woman, from what I see from her. It breaks my heart to know she struggles with this. I will constantly pray for you Heather, and your family ! I Love you
@@mzfancy4767 oh, I try to be, but I fall short at times like all humans. You are welcome. Thank you for your positive attitude and appreciating it. Stay blessed and healthy !
The real sadness:. People like this lovely lady arrive to Skid Row seeking asylum from an abusive, tumultuous life, only to be dragged deeper into the bowels of misery.
True. Heather seems so decent and so savable. She's intelligent and honest. The doctors screwed her with the Hydrocodone, esp. at only 17 yrs old. I understand what she is saying about getting sick when she runs out of the Hydrocodone because my mother went through this. She overdosed but because of this incident she was hospitalized and she was able to quit. Those doctors need serious reprimanding for their obvious lack of care. Life is so unfair.
@@rosemarycrane5137 I don't know anything about lupus. She does say it's constant pain and terminal. I have no idea if there's any treatment available but I do know it's wrong to let someone in chronic pain suffer.
It seems to me like the union rescue mission shelter for women and children needs to move away from skid row, it's the worst possible place for them to be!
Can't judge you. I have Lupus, it's different for everyone, but it's not a death sentence, and I'm 63. Your lifespan will be shorter than someone without Lupus. Your immune system is at war with you. But with the drugs, you are at war with yourself. Take good care of that lone kidney and your liver. Prayers, young one.
Well said. I also have multiple autoimmune diseases - one that’s very similar to Lupus (Behçet’s). Lupus is not a terminal disease but In conjunction with everything else this poor girl is doing, or any other diagnoses she may have- that may be. Sweet Heather. I am sorry you’re ill and battling the chains that opioids like to attach around your neck. I wish I could remove your pain for you but we know that isn’t possible. I have Behçet’s disease and Ulcerative Colitis. I also live in chronic pain. I took moderately high doses of opioids due to my conditions from 2012-2019. I also became physically dependent. You CAN get off the Vicodin but only when you’re truly ready to do it. Although I did not take my pain medications in excess , I DID get off of OxyContin and Percocet after 7 years of daily use. I have faith you can beat this addiction IF YOU CHOSE THAT YOU WANT TO. It won’t be overnight. It took me 6 months on a slow tapering dose....and an amazing doctor. I know being sick all the time isn’t fun. I know having autoimmune conditions isn’t fun. I know Lupus sucks. I hate seeing you make the inevitable pain due to your conditions worse by this medication dependency. You’re stronger than you think. You have the ability to improve your quality of life and get clean. I believe in you. I’m here for you even though I’m on the East Coast. I will pray for you. Having Lupus is not your fault. Forgive yourself. You’re human just like everyone else. Do not give up. You have many years ahead of you if you chose to walk the path of recovery. I see the light and strength and yearning in your eyes. I hope and pray to see an update video from Mark of you in the future - working your way towards a better quality of life. God bless you. Hugs from CT.
@@meghanshea7852 how sweet comment lovely soul my father had something like that on his skin and I love ❤️ him XoXo much and I always feel bad for him because he always felt ashamed from people and give to much of what people thought of his condition.
Unfortunately it sounds like she's given up and doesn't want to hear it. I think that she went to the wrong doctor and she found one that will medicate her hopefully one day she'll open her eyes and see that she can live without these pills
My dad's an addict; alcohol and pills. I always look for bits of him in these interviews. These videos help lots of people in lots of ways, but for me, I've been able to gather a bit of closure. Thanks.
I went through traumatic things as a kid. These videos help me piece together a problem I can't solve. For a moment I realize I'm not alone in struggle. Enjoy your day
I’m pretty angry with the medical professionals who told her lupus is terminal. Lupus doesn’t have to be terminal if it’s properly treated. It’s an auto immune disorder. How sad to have been written off at the age of 17 for something that really should have been addressed. I’m sorry this has happened to her. And I hope she finds people to take proper medical care of her. Just horrible.
I have a friend who has the worse Lupus you can have....they cut her toes off. She has it really bad. Never told to her it was terminal and didn't treat her the proper way. Pain meds isn't the only thing they give you, there is other meds to treat Lupus. She needs to change Dr and get her life and kids back. She's in a really deep hole from all the shit she has been through. Prayers and best of luck . You can do this, don't make some Dr tell you your fate it life.
its pretty obvious whats going on here and for folk who suffer from Lupis its kind of a slap in the face,this wretched soul is an addict and once she looks in the mirror and realises shes the problem ,she is an addict and the substance has got a huge hold of her ,i can tell you straight from the heart that i would rather have Lupis than be in her shoes right now because she has a huge battle in front of her ,hopefully the money she gets wont end up on the streets,i pray for her
That's what's up. I'm still struggling and I always feel like I'll never be able to kick them.. I want to be a free changed man rather than a shackled changed man because o feel like if I'm incarcerated, I won't get better mentally. I really feel that it'll actually make me worse. I be wanting to just die damn near every day
@@dregetemnospace6809 you can do it. I thought the same thing. I was on oxys for 10 years n then moved to fentanyl cause it was cheaper. I was so terrified of withdrawal. But I had enough and went to detox sept 13 and didn’t look back. I made the decision to be honest with my son about it and I think that’s a big reason why I don’t go back. Good luck! I promise if I can do it, anyone can. I was going through 60 15s in 2 days.
Someone needs to tell this gal that lupus isn't necessarily terminal, people can live with it for a long time. She needs help to find a good, compassionate doctor and social worker. It's not too late. Rehab first. Prayers are so important, too.
She even says she can’t stop and won’t. She doesn’t want help. It seems like she just wants to keep taking pills until she dies. She has probably just accepted it.
People with lupus know their body and everyone’s experience with the illness is different. My sister passed away from lupus at 27 years old and even with access to great healthcare services in Canada her organs failed her and she said she could feel herself dying. It’s not too late for Heather, but I do believe she knows her experience with her illness better than anyone.
Daughter of a dilaudid addict here. I grew up seeing a lot of similar things as a lot of the people you feature in your videos. I went to school for psychology and sociology and I’m looking to help people in these situations. Your story is not unheard. You are not unheard. 🖤 thank you for the utmost bravery in telling your story. It helps more than you know.
I am literally ON MY KNEES praying for you, sweet girl. I also have multiple severe illnesses. I was addicted at age 8. I got sober from pills (at least 8, 30mg oxy’s a day, and a few OxyContins 40 mg a day once I turned 18. I got industrial amounts of IV Demerol as a small child for my illnesses) three years ago. Now, I am a severe alcoholic. I’ve been in hospital three times just this April. I’m very jaundice, sick liver, pancreas, muscles, and heart. Last week, my doctors looked me in my yellow eyes, and told me I am dying. I am desperate for help. I am fighting.
@@OwenGilmoreOG dextromethorphan. it is a synthetic dissociative. same class of hallucinogens that ketamine, pcp, and nitrous oxide are a part of. it is a vasoconstrictor though, which means it causes pee pee shrinkage.
I have lupus since I’ve been 23 years old I’m 44 now she’s saying the truth in pain 24/7 all day everyday all the doctors 🥼 do is make me comfortable I’ve been a recovering addict for over 20 years I’m a drug counselor I refuse to get hooked on ANYTHING again so NO I don’t abuse no pain pills 💊 even though the doctors 🥼 give me I absolutely can relate to what she’s saying💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
For people that don't know 'sherm' is slang for joints/cigs or any sort of rollie that has been dipped in PCP, Angle dust(Phencyclidine) and then dried and then smoked.
This woman has a beautiful heart and you can see that she wants better for herself. Unfortunately everyone down to "medical professionals" have let her down and dismissed her as a human being. If she can somehow find self love and able to get real treatment for Lupus and addiction she will surely surpass 45. Also, please help get this woman out of California and to the other side of the country... Maybe the south were kindness exists. I am sending her love and healing energy. Please help her and update us soon.
Ain’t no love in the south. I’m from Cali and currently living in the south. I have never been in the presence of such abusive people in my life. The only redeeming factor in this place is that at least everyone here wears their real racist, sexist and homophobic faces in public and private. Here I have been accosted for nothing more than existing. Please deliver this woman into a place that is safe and healthy. Not the south as opposed to California. Good grief the way people think and then put in writing for others to see is sickening. Matter of fact @organic80 let the world be removed of thought processes that provoke the type of shaming you do.
I would like to give whomever is videoing, Interviewing , and posting these interviews props... This needs to be seen by as many people possible... We as a society need to truly help people who have real trauma in their lives... Skid row exists because many turn a blind eye to those in need.. Thank you for the revealing work. The planet needs more people like yourself.
People think that being an addict means your a weak person. I see this woman as an INCREDIBLY strong person with what she’s been through. I hope heather comes to realize her own strength. I admire her very much. I’ve been addicted to pills and overcome it, but having a terminal illness on top of that I couldn’t imagine. Heather you are so strong.
Sending you a warm hug Heather. You’ve been through so much. Also sending love to your children; it’s never a child’s fault. I had parents who were destructive as well. Take comfort in knowing it’s still possible for your children to have wonderful and fulfilled lives.
I don’t know what stage of lupus she has, but I have a few friends who have lupus and have been living with it a very long time. This woman needs a social worker.
I have lupus. Its sad that her Doctor gave her pain pills to cope. I'm now 40 and haven't been given hydrocodone Percocet Vicodin nothing like that ever. I have been given steroids ibuprofen and a few other medication but never just straight pain meds It breaks my heart
She seems like she has Sjogren's too, and I'm wondering if she has other autoimmune issues. 1 in 4 ppl have them, and sometimes pain management is all you have.
in short: a messed up childhood leads to a life of misery, for most. the lack of parental love, the lack of feeling unwanted/unloved at such a young age just gets embedded into their psyche. it literally feels like a throw-away society. messed up kids growing up, raising the next generation of messes up kds, and so the cycle continues. their kids put in foster care. and now we know what happens in a lot of foster homes.. so, in turn, the next generation of messed up adults are being raised... on and on it goes. verrrry saddddddd
Very true. I will be the last of the messed up generation and one day when I have kids, I will totally break that cycle and give them better and not have them experience that pain I did or my parents did.
@@Bdot888 Good on you man. That's the problem. Everyone thinks well that's how I was raised but you don't have to follow in their footsteps. I have an 8 year old that'll know she's loved and worth every breath she takes.
@@Bdot888 i'm rooting for you, my dear ❤️❤️❤️. try, try, try your best. as best you can. it takes a lot to break the cycle. you have to consciously unlearn a lot of habits/coping mechanisms. but always remember, if you do fail, it's not the end of the world, just puck yourself up, dust yourself off and try again. don't ever stop trying. and most importantly, watch your kids like a hawke. don't trust anyone around your kids (ie paedophiles - they come disguised as teachers/priests/lawyers/neighbours and friends.
I had a Xanax addiction at 17 scary time for me. Glad I left using although I continued using other substances nothing hard though. I empathize with addicts as I realize they are humans and i can be in the same position. We are no one to judge. Wish this women the best
@@SPIRIT-IN-THE-SKY extremely addictive. I am a 5 year sober heroin addict, who now struggles with Xanax and klonipin addiction. Like stated above you can and will gointo seizures and just feel nuts coming off benzos. It's not as uncomfortable as opiate withdrawal but it feels much harder on ur body.
@@SPIRIT-IN-THE-SKY ...benzodiazepines are very very addictive, and it’s shocking and wrong that doctors/ your doctor doesn’t clearly outline the dangers and risks associated with daily use. Now the pros and cons of using them needs to be weighed, but the patient should still have all the knowledge available to them... Cause there may come a day when they won’t prescribe them to you anymore, then you will quickly find out how addicting they are, both mentally and physically
She needs to get on suboxone therapy ASAP. The cycle of taking opiates, withdrawing, using PCP for relief from W/Ds then getting more opiates is going to kill her. Not to mention the hydrocodone is so hepatotoxic.
@@royalt3690 since long term opiates dosage increases very quickly. Methadone or suboxone long ter long ter, like years, or life time treatment will safe her and she can give her life back in track. And the sometime, later can be a very slow tapering plan only the way she can handle. It is a desease and can not be quickly tapered and just a simply consulting therapy will help. no it won't, like a high blood pressure or diabetes can not be cured with words. I am on Methadone for 4 years now 40-55 mg and it a lifesaver. It is free, as Suboxone and there is no pressure on me to stop or taper it.
@@taylorprocker Believe me nobody cares if you so called get used to Methadone. it is very effective and it is unbelievable and unbearable to live with chronic pain, it kills you and eats you from inside
You are worth so much more, Heather. I suffered with pill addiction for 5 years. The two week withdraw period was probably the worst I've felt in my life. But it was so worth it because now I am 7 years clean and a mother of 3 beautiful daughters. You can heal. It is possible. I promise.
When she said that she’s using because she’s has had enough pain, (mental, emotional) her body has betrayed her, and doesn’t want to live in constant pain, and she’s alone...I understand exactly what she meant. My RSD has me in the same head space but I can’t take pain meds, can’t drink, etc. it’s impossible for anyone to relate unless you live with chronic pain. It’s no way to live, I hope and pray for her.
Hey, just wanted to say i care. I have a really great friend who has debilitating chronic pain. I wish I could borrow her pain for the weekend to give her a break, I'd do it if I could. It is absolutely heart breaking to me. She's a great person and suffers so much. I know it doesn't make a difference, just wanted to show Little support.
@@Victoria-uq8mf your reply is so sweet and your friend is fortunate to have such an understanding and compassionate friend. Peace and love to you both.
I appreciate Heather for sharing about her life with us. In my profession, I see these types of cases a lot and it is never easy watching someone struggle. It's very painful. She mentioned we have choices that we have to life with. Actions always come with consequences. We may not be able to go back and fix our mistakes, but we can certainly learn from them and educate others. Life is a constant process of learning from our actions.
One of the best interviews I've watched. I really like this lady and her complete honesty. My heart hurts for you. You are beautiful. I so hope and pray there is a light to the end of your struggles and that you will be heard and understood about your condition by doctors etc. ❤
The American medical system has let her down Lupus isn’t a terminal disease, there is no cure but the side effects can be managed and most people (90%) can live a normal life. 😕🇬🇧
I seriously doubt the Dr said you have a terminal illness we're going to make you as comfortable as possible. It wasn't the Lupus that affected her kidneys it was the Lortab abuse.
@@colleendekoning3926 Any Dr worth their license should take her off acetaminophen based pain meds. I was on prescribed 12 10mg Lortabs a day until we found something that worked for me that didn't have acetaminophen in it. And I'm sorry but withdrawals from Lortab is a walk in the park. I was able to go in and work for 8-10 hours a day when coming off hydrocodone. It's not as bad as she makes it sound.
@@chesspiece81 -- I don't believe she's under any doctor care. I have multiple autoimmune diseases and was on Fentanyl with oxy for breakthrough plus Gabapentin and I went cold turkey during my divorce when my ex tried to claim I was a drug addict even though all my meds were RX and monitored. You'd be surprised what people can do when they really WANT to keep custody of their children. It wasn't pleasant, like you said, but nothing like what she is claiming. I've been dealing with constant pain every day for almost 15 years now. Not fun, but I still have both my kidneys. ;) And my kids.
I follow mark from the start I never comment but I fell I have to comment on this in case she read my comment I have lupus as well and in pain everyday and lupus attack the body but I don’t give up there so much more medication u can have for lupus to help u body fight it don’t give up pleases don’t
Hang tough beautiful. Doctors are so overwhelmed and regulated don’t take their decisions as not caring. I’ve been there. I care, your children care that’s why they are hurt and push you away. DON`T let the depression and drugs win. There IS coming back from it and YOU need to stay around so you can SHOW your children who you are...hurt but still love them. You are worthy of a better life, please don’t give up. XO
I pray to God she finds her way! Am I crazy for thinking there's hope for everybody? The addiction, the abuse... I pray God deliver her from that pain!
I think there’s especially hope for her. She’s not too far gone to turn things around but she needs a caring mental health doctor and a caring doctor for her physical health but she probably can’t afford either 😢
Not crazy at all. I was so addicted to heroin and meth. Lost my kids. Lost my life, but i was given another chance. Here i am. 5 years clean and all my kids home with me. And everyone is happy
I've known Heather for decades I grew up with her and her sisters. They are beautiful misunderstood souls. I love you so much Heather!! You are so strong thank you for being here for me and the kids. 🥰😘😍
This is the definition for Lupus: With close follow-up and treatment, 80-90% of people with lupus can expect to live a normal life span. It is true that medical science has not yet developed a method for curing lupus, and some people do die from the disease. However, for the majority of people living with the disease today, it will not be fatal.
I have lupus and the pain is indescribable,. Part of what she’s saying is true.. the doctors do tell you things like your lifespan will be shorter however with new medicines the disease is somewhat tolerable.. however it’s dreadful. Every single day is dreadful
Building up a resistance to pills is a hell of a thing. I was on prescription pills for a while, and I kept adapting to the dosage, so the doctor kept increasing the dose until I was at six times what I started off at. When THAT stopped being effective I got scared that a higher dose might be dangerous, so I quit cold turkey (very bad idea, but I wasn’t exactly thinking straight at the time) I didn’t sleep for three days after, and I freak a bit, but now I don’t take anything stronger than aspirin
I quit hydrocodone after 5 yrs, cold turkey. I use Ibuprofen, pot, and a drink at night. Bad Car accident. That lupus isnt killing her, its her depression.
Heather im with u. i know what i feels to be in constant pain and ppl dont undestand what it feels like. also they think we "fake" our pain. hope u will be better soon!
I never really understood how people say getting pills is so easy. I tried so hard when I was in active addiction to get opiates and Benzos from so many doctors and they always said no, thank god
It helps when you have an chronic illness on record and don’t show any signs of addiction. Doctors can tell an addict from a regular patient they have to take classes on this type of thing in medical school. Hence why most of the opitates on the street aren’t even manufactured in the U.S and are brought from Mexico or India. I don’t have an addiction but I do have an illness that is chronic and the amount of pills I’ve had shoved down my throat is ridiculous. You may not know this but doctors receive financial kickbacks from Pharmaceutical companies for prescribing certain drugs (including opiates). Luckily you came across a lot of doctors with good ethics but for a lot of physicians it’s about money they will gladly give you whatever bc they get paid regardless in their eyes if you get addicted it was your own fault.
I honestly feel for this lady. Im 39 too, my father came from close to Italy. Ive been addictied to opiates for nearly 20 years too and my family gave up on me. Difference is I dont have kids but honeslty hate this addiction. Ive been opiate free for 2 weeks and each day is a strugggle and pain. I can really relate to her, If you can read this Heather pls get in touch with me Im in Manchester in England. Would be nice to speak to you sometime. I hope you can get though this Im here for you.
Heather, you’re super brave and have a beautiful spirit. By the time your kids are mature enough to understand, they should be very proud of you. Thank you for sharing your story. Hopefully, it will make a difference. Stay strong. Peace and God bless.💪🏽❤️👑
Wow you can tell she really needed to express those feelings. Crying is sometimes very beneficial and I think she needed to do that. She is beautiful and I wish I knew her so I could talk to her and try to help
So many emotions suppressed for so long.. You’re worthy of love and healthy relationships and a healthy lifestyle. Never give up on yourself, beautiful woman. ❤️ brighter days to come. Sending love and prayers your way.
Im surprised no ones told her about tapering. It sounds like she didn't want to be off them because the sickness goes away. If she did a looong taper the sickness can be greatly avoided and she won't die from opiate withdrawals so I say just do it
The Tylenol might worse for her than the entire Hydrocodone. :/ I don't think she is ready to come off, especially with her pain level, she needs something. But a slow taper, or a longer-acting pain med, or MMT could really turn her life around...
@@roxannerodriguez7075 you are 100% right and most commentors dont get that part. i think 12 norcos is just about near acetaminophen poisoning and shes at 8 a day. she def needs a different pain killer like 10mg oxy with no APAP in my opinion.
@@peachmint1837 One of my buddies is on suboxone for chronic pain, they should see how she tolerates that, will keep her from abusing other opiates too, somewhat.
Heather, please don't give up. You have so much to offer this world and your children. I hope you find a Dr. that can give you a second opinion about the lupus and put you on a drug free treatment. You are precious.
Best interview so far for me. I feel her pain. You had to grow up way to fast. You are a wonderful human being. I wish you were my daughter. I would all ways be there for you. Wishing you happiness and comfort. Don't give up. You need to find different Dr.s. don't give up. There is help out there. By far the most honest and responsible young lady I have seen so far from Marks interviews. Hang tough the streets are no place for someone like you. You are much to beautiful to live life this way.
She is not honest at all. Lupus is not a "terminal illness" and no actual medical professional would be prescribing what she claims to be taking unless they wanted to be arrested.
Maybe she had quacks for Dr.s I don't know who to believe on these interviews anymore. I usually can tell when they are lying but addicts are so good at lying and manipulation and these are people that have those faults mastered for sure. Thank you for your reply. I know now I am not a good judge of character.
It does all she needs is some methadone or subaxone i wonder why it’s not talked about more in thankful cause I got shot and that hydro is very addictive
Yes, similar to mental pain and illness causing addiction and dependency, if doctors won't treat your symptoms, you will treat them yourself. Methadone and Suboxone are both actually very good for dealing with long term chronic pain management, I agree with you, toss in some therapy, and a reliable psych doctor as well.
I was addicted to Percocet for years. Just like you, and anyone, I got sick when I didn’t have them, however, you won’t die from the sickness with withdrawal. You will feel like you’re going to die, but you won’t! Please, just quit, I promise you won’t regret it. There are many lupus meds out there to help you. Change your doctor
Can you assist me with morphine withdrawal I'm on a somewhat low dose finally now, it was originally caused by oxy contin prescription when I had oral surgery for my jaw.
I'm currently down to around 8-16mgs of hydromorphone per day right now however recently some days I've gotten by with just 4 MGS and was very proud but it's so difficult took 10mgs now as I'm extremely sick
@@mitchcapps4878 i recommend doing your research throughly for a legitimate Suboxone prescriber. One that will only have you on it for a short period of time, to help with withdrawal. In the process, do 90 meetings in 90 days, get a sponsor, and know that there is no shame in asking for help. I’ll be praying for you
@@mitchcapps4878 you are very welcome! I promise it’s possible, I know it doesn’t seem like it, and the thought of withdrawal always kept me using, but the Suboxone really helped that! I’m so much happier and healthier now! I know you can do it, I believe in you
Hi Heather, I'm filled with empathy for you & cannot help but relate. Going from an abusive home to abusive husband/relationships, children being taken away, & dealing with a severe chronic medical condition which leads right to pain med issues... Yep. You are not alone! Some comments here offer good information, which can at least help you get some of the first steps started. It can be a long road, untangling some of the issues you're currently dealing with, but not impossible. You need some real help & I'm hoping your video with Mark will lead to just that🙂
Heather you seem like a very kind person. I hope you get better and get your life together. Please get better and be the best mom you can be for your kids. They need you.
I can easily identify with Heather. It is no fun to have an incurable illness and to be in constant pain. I lived that for many years and, I still live it. I understand that she feels that the doctors do not care. If I could speak to her, I would suggest a 2nd or even 3rd opinion on the treatment of her illness. I am glad that she was able to speak to Mark, (have someone to truly listen without judgment). Abuse is very damaging, any of it. It is sad to hear that Heather has just kind of given up. I see past all of that. I see a young woman with a lot of potential, who could do whatever she wished to do. If you ever read this Heather, know that you are worthy. I wish that I could talk to you because I have been there. I am 54 years old now and doing okay. Please, never give up on yourself.
I have chronic pain as well so I feel this young ladies pain. Don’t give up! You can find a doctor who cares, keep seeking one. Prayers for you. You are a beautiful soul.
I get the feeling she has a good heart so this is sad to see her w/so much pain both physical & emotionally. Sending healing, positive, loving thoughts her way..💚🧡
I'm not an expert on lupus but couldn't there be varying degrees of the disease and if she's not caring for it it can be out of control. I have an autoimmune disease and stress makes it a lot worse
Lupus is manageable in most cases but there are a lot of people that die at a young age from it. Not everyone is the same. All of our bodies react differently to things. Just like any disease there's different levels.....
I've know a few people with lupus. Some you would never know it. Others are debilitated by it. Never judge someone else, especially if you've never had their affliction.
I have chronic pain from multiple fractures after a car accident. I have a pain management dr. He gives me 4 percocets a day. This has been the dosage for seven years now, along with injections. No more or no less. I've been lucky to have a dr. who knows about addiction...
I feel so hard for her! She’s basically me if I got addicted to the hydrocodone. I got sick at 17 and they gave me hydrocodone for nerve pain. My doctor made it very clear what would happen if I took more than he prescribed and he wouldn’t give me more and although I was in a ton of pain, it looks like not taking more was way better. Several years later I found a chiropractor who did an outdated method of aligning the neck and was able to relieve my pain and I’ve been off since because I have auto immune issues too and I’m feeling a lot better being off of it. I’m so sorry your doctors failed you so bad 😢
I have lupus too. I feel her pain. I was addicted to hydrocodone and still currently taking it, and other drugs, for pain control. Health care usually dismisses us as drug addicts regardless of if we are or not. Having lupus, some doctors just give give give to comfort us but it's a crutch. When doctors give up on you, you feel hopeless. You feel alone. You are not alone hunny. I wish that I could speak with her and help her in any way I can. I'm praying for you luv
She should've just stayed with the hydrocodone don't see the need to use PCP when she already got that bad of health issues I see you're point. But at the same time she said everyone gave up on her.
WHY? Why would you feel the need to question her kids? That's just plucked up. That's just a dumb thing to say when someone's in so much pain that's a judge mental asshole thing to say
@@colleenmarie7977 If they won't have anything to do with her there is another side to the story that is probably just as, if not more, painful. She's been on drugs for 22 years and has 4 kids who ended up in the system because of her drug use. If you enjoy this channel think of some of the stories from the perspective of those now adult kids who ended up in care with destroyed lives because of their mother's preference for drugs to numb their pain.
I was on 30 hydro tens a day for many many years I knew the talk to get them from script doctors I too have lupus. I withdrew many times so I know it's painful I wouldn't suggest anybody do that on their own at home. it's setting yourself up for failure .if you could get to a suboxone Clinic that would mean a world of difference to you they can eventually wean you off of it you won't get the same high but you won't be dope sick and you'll be more clear-headed have a better sense of a energy in your life I hope the best for you girl
Me too! I am dying for her to know she is not going to die from Lupus! It is not fatal and they have a new drug that is working brilliantly Benlysta. She was given terrible advice. The interviewees don’t always see the messages. I sure pray Mark tells her!!!
My cousin is 60? Still working full time and lives with lupus. He’s as healthy as anyone. Seems like he’ll live to very old age. I wish for her to get the therapy she needs.
First interview to make me cry. And there's been some heavy ones!! I have a chronic illness and just your story relates to me insanely. I really pray you find happiness and some peace! 💛
Face your pain and you will be able to free yourself and be an example for your kids. I'm so sorry about your lupus. Is there a group you can join who can teach you how to live with lupus successfully? There must be .
@@colleendekoning3926 You're a liar. The definition of "Terminal Illness" is a disease that cannot be adequately treated or cured. Lupus is incurable and it's a disease that causes your own immune system to kill your body.
@@colleendekoning3926 You can look this up within five seconds. Stop trying to misinform people about these things just because you have a problem with people who use substances.
@Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ for Eternal Life 😂😂😂 You surely show that God is love and it's His kindness that brings us to Repentance. I see my daughter in pain Every day for the past 28 years. Some days you can't even touch her. Look up fibromyalgia. So I Do have an idea about chronic pain. She also has RA and Rynald's and probably at least 1 other painful condition.
Oh sweetie, you and me are twins. Diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and pain meds were their cure all. 20 years later and I'm a scared to death full blown addict eating them like skittles!! I know EXACTLY what you mean about you "have to have them." Praying for you doll...I KNOW this struggle is real and hard! withdrawal scares the shit out of me! I wish we could go through this together.
This is terribly sad, a beautiful lady with a extremely sad past! Lupus is horrid but so is the other immune & disorders you can get! I’m in my 30th year of fibromyalgia which has a severe family connection to multiple sclerosis. My family are four generations of fibromyalgia & multiple sclerosis & it’s painful & is crippling. But none of us have died because we are strong, yes three generations are gone. I’m the fourth but one auntie still struggles but she makes me stronger & I thank her, so blessings to my auntie, her brother my daddy died 💜.........I’ve had a amazing life, not perfect but I feel blessed & I really do think this makes a difference when we have a wonderful family & good friends. I send her love from France/Uk & I’ll pray for her in my travels 💜
Here I am sometimes forgetting to take my multivitamins, and she couldn't go a certain amount of hours without taking these substances. My prayers go out to her and anyone going through this. ❤️🙏🏿
Heather I feel for you! you are never alone, as a addict myself at such a young age (15 yrs old) its horrible and its extremely hard, especially its hard to escape that hell. I send out my prayers to you, my support, and my love. I wish I could give you the biggest hug and say its okay and im here for you, even if you dont know me because the pain in your eyes hurts me so deeply it really does. No one deserves this type of pain you have on you, please do not give up hope so soon! I believe in you Heather, I'm not gonna give up on you, there's brighter days at the end of the tunnel love. I love you babe!
Pill addiction and chronic illness go hand in hand.. lost my aunt last year from it. She also had lupus as well as a few other medical conditions, that wasn’t what killed her. She’d been given such high dosages of pain meds and anxiety medication that over the span of 20 years, they took her before her illness. It’s been proven time and time again that addiction doesn’t discriminate..
I hear a lot of excuses and "I can't" !! Our self talk completely changes how we see the world, change starts with the literal words we tell ourselves! Hope this woman seeks the help she needs.
I was thinking the same thing...when she said the doctors have given up on her, & thus she's given up on herself...so sad. Like Henry Ford once said, "Whether you believe you can or you can't...you're right." I'm praying she'll have a wake-up moment and get some fight back in her somehow.
Those can be amazing tools. If you do it right and stick with it...follow the program, work on developing your own recovery, get therapy...eventually every thing starts to change. It gets good really fast too. Hard in the beginning but gets easier. Some people have to stay on it forever, but lots of people know when they are ready to taper down and eventually do. Lots of people are completely off of everything now thanks to MAT. It’s ALWAYS worth a try (and try again). I think of it like a bridge. Due to her chronic pain, she might have to be on something life long. Whatever it takes, man.
It’s validating to hear the chronic pain stories. This really does happen. My ex-husband beat me and f*cked me up (skull fractures, osteomyelitis that most people don’t live through, etc). and had a chronic pain and multiple illnesses (I was sickly, as my grandmother says). I ran away and went back to the street life I was turned out to at 14, and hid behind one abusive man cause I was sure the other one would kill me. The second guy wouldn’t let me use the car to go to the doctor or the phone to cancel and I got kicked out of the pain clinic for missing a gynecologist appointment in the same provider network (they never told me that could happened at all). I was on 120 mg of morphine & hydrocodone (90 & 30) a day, and started buying meds on the streets to treat my pain. I had no clue a lot of them were really made at pill mills with the same stamp & were fentanyl. It’s hard to get pills so dealers offer you samples of every other thing as painkillers. I never would have taken any of those things but if you’re sick & have a degenerative, painful condition you will do it. Anyone with at that point; I don’t care. That’s when your problems with the law and social services start, just like she said. All of a sudden they label you an addict instead of a patient. A lot of people would say she could just kick in 3 days, but it’s different when you’re seriously ill and in pain, it really is. And these welfare doctors only get paid not to care, because Medicaid is so paltry that tests are discouraged. Once most doctors put you on an addict list, they just invalidate any and every concern. I am prescribed medications that ruin your kidneys (not opiates anymore). I was just told that instead of monthly kidney function tests, I have been cut to yearly, due to insurance changes. A year is a very long time for diseased kidneys to progress. I wonder if she could get Suboxone. Depending on her state she would either have to say that she is a pain patient or that she’s an addict because some doctors won’t treat one or the other and there are rules for different states. It’s very helpful if you can be honest if it’s a pain because otherwise they might try to wean you but I would just take what you can get in as far as doctors and then look for a better one. If I had had that suggestion right away I would never have ended up on her drugs in and out of jail and would’ve skipped the street drug route entirely. All I wanted was really for my pain and I can tell she’s the same way. She can’t go backwards but she can look for an alternative. There is hope from here, if you’re reading this. Also if you possibly have money it’s good to buy Kratom. That worked better than the Suboxone for me, with fewer side effects. It is at the moment still legal in most states although they keep fighting it even though it has helped so many people get off heroin and fentanyl and pills, and you can’t overdose on it by itself in fact I doubt if it tips the balance in any overdoses it’s very similar to marijuana in strength of toxicity, as it’s a natural plant. She wouldn’t have to hide that she use that although you should use discretion because there are some alarmist articles going around, like ending it to other painkillers but the thing is that if nobody dies and you can function, that’s a huge deal. If she took the Suboxone that would really help with not having to have the highs and lows of the pills, because there’s not that peak concentration time and then getting sick. It is a partial opiates so it’s not gonna cause a high for people who are used to opiates but it does provide me pain relief. It’s really not as much as I need but I’m leery of going on methadone. I would rather switch to more Kratom when I can afford it. Right now I am in the process of weaning off the Suboxone as long as possible so that it will be more effective for pain. My doctors supervise it’s used for pain so it’s not some thing you necessarily have to sneak around and do, if you find a Doctor who does work with pain patients. Because Kratom is milder than pills a lot of people have a similar experience with that, they are more stable. I wouldn’t do it as a first step from Percocet but if that really wasn’t enough they will prescribe methadone for pain and at least there are so many highs and lows and you are covered and not having to go to street dealers. Sometimes that’s a good option for people who have really serious pain because her pain is not being appropriately treated by her doctors at all. Lupus is not like take a few Percocet a month kind of pain. Or a referral to real pain specialist about some thing like OxyContin. I know that’s not a great way to go for a lot of people but she does have a grave and painful illness, and should not have to be vulnerable and broke, on Sherm and going through sickness all the time. Undertreating pain is as likely to cause illegal/illicit drug use as overtreating pain, maybe more so because people have to do something. I wonder if there is a harm reduction clinic in that area that could better advise her about her options. She is not someone who should be half a**treated by a primary doc for pain or told just to go to treatment. That’s not gonna work with lupus.
Heather you may or may not see this... but I was where you are 2 years ago. I too suffer from chronic pain to the point where drugs like oxymorphone aren't even effective. I got put on suboxone 2 years ago and it has completely saved my life. You are loved and you deserve happiness and comfort. I love you dear... stay strong.
Girl hope you find the strength to pull out of this and live life. Sometimes just packing up and moving away from the shit around you is the answer. Get that stimulus check and move the hell away from those people and drugs around you.
😲 I know her personally, she was my neighbor in LA. Oh she is so kind and sweet to my family and I. She is a tough coookie, yet she ALWAYS, ALWAYS has a smile on her face and talks about her kids and shows me pictures of them. She is kindheartly a good woman, from what I see from her. It breaks my heart to know she struggles with this. I will constantly pray for you Heather, and your family ! I Love you
Ur such a wonderful person to give us that insight on how much of a jewel she is. Thank u. ♥️
@@candi4202 thanks girl ! Stay blessed and healthy.
@@mzfancy4767 oh, I try to be, but I fall short at times like all humans. You are welcome. Thank you for your positive attitude and appreciating it. Stay blessed and healthy !
@@lilmonsta6701 you too sweetheart
@@MaynardsSpaceship Thank you !!! Much love and respect. Take care !
The real sadness:. People like this lovely lady arrive to Skid Row seeking asylum from an abusive, tumultuous life, only to be dragged deeper into the bowels of misery.
That made me cry it's so true
True. Heather seems so decent and so savable. She's intelligent and honest. The doctors screwed her with the Hydrocodone, esp. at only 17 yrs old. I understand what she is saying about getting sick when she runs out of the Hydrocodone because my mother went through this. She overdosed but because of this incident she was hospitalized and she was able to quit. Those doctors need serious reprimanding for their obvious lack of care. Life is so unfair.
Wow powerful.... well said
@@rosemarycrane5137 I don't know anything about lupus. She does say it's constant pain and terminal. I have no idea if there's any treatment available but I do know it's wrong to let someone in chronic pain suffer.
It seems to me like the union rescue mission shelter for women and children needs to move away from skid row, it's the worst possible place for them to be!
These things make me appreciate my simple ass life
Right
I understand your point of view, but to me I do not feel comfort or gratitude for my life in the misfortune of others.
@@RicardoBatistaPassos youre right sir
@@RicardoBatistaPassos You're missing the point.
exactly
Can't judge you. I have Lupus, it's different for everyone, but it's not a death sentence, and I'm 63. Your lifespan will be shorter than someone without Lupus. Your immune system is at war with you. But with the drugs, you are at war with yourself. Take good care of that lone kidney and your liver. Prayers, young one.
Well said. I also have multiple autoimmune diseases - one that’s very similar to Lupus (Behçet’s). Lupus is not a terminal disease but In conjunction with everything else this poor girl is doing, or any other diagnoses she may have- that may be.
Sweet Heather. I am sorry you’re ill and battling the chains that opioids like to attach around your neck. I wish I could remove your pain for you but we know that isn’t possible. I have Behçet’s disease and Ulcerative Colitis. I also live in chronic pain. I took moderately high doses of opioids due to my conditions from 2012-2019. I also became physically dependent. You CAN get off the Vicodin but only when you’re truly ready to do it. Although I did not take my pain medications in excess , I DID get off of OxyContin and Percocet after 7 years of daily use. I have faith you can beat this addiction IF YOU CHOSE THAT YOU WANT TO. It won’t be overnight. It took me 6 months on a slow tapering dose....and an amazing doctor. I know being sick all the time isn’t fun. I know having autoimmune conditions isn’t fun. I know Lupus sucks. I hate seeing you make the inevitable pain due to your conditions worse by this medication dependency. You’re stronger than you think. You have the ability to improve your quality of life and get clean. I believe in you. I’m here for you even though I’m on the East Coast. I will pray for you. Having Lupus is not your fault. Forgive yourself. You’re human just like everyone else. Do not give up. You have many years ahead of you if you chose to walk the path of recovery. I see the light and strength and yearning in your eyes. I hope and pray to see an update video from Mark of you in the future - working your way towards a better quality of life. God bless you. Hugs from CT.
At 63 and with Lupus, you’re already living longer than others. You’re blessed.
Cut out gluten dairy and sugar. Will help tremendously with lupus
@@meghanshea7852 how sweet comment lovely soul my father had something like that on his skin and I love ❤️ him XoXo much and I always feel bad for him because he always felt ashamed from people and give to much of what people thought of his condition.
Unfortunately it sounds like she's given up and doesn't want to hear it. I think that she went to the wrong doctor and she found one that will medicate her hopefully one day she'll open her eyes and see that she can live without these pills
My dad's an addict; alcohol and pills. I always look for bits of him in these interviews. These videos help lots of people in lots of ways, but for me, I've been able to gather a bit of closure. Thanks.
I went through traumatic things as a kid. These videos help me piece together a problem I can't solve. For a moment I realize I'm not alone in struggle. Enjoy your day
Same.
I’m pretty angry with the medical professionals who told her lupus is terminal. Lupus doesn’t have to be terminal if it’s properly treated. It’s an auto immune disorder. How sad to have been written off at the age of 17 for something that really should have been addressed. I’m sorry this has happened to her. And I hope she finds people to take proper medical care of her.
Just horrible.
I find it hard to believe any "doctor" told her Lupus is "terminal". Or that she has no access to the internet to actually learn abut what Lupus is.
I have a friend who has the worse Lupus you can have....they cut her toes off. She has it really bad. Never told to her it was terminal and didn't treat her the proper way. Pain meds isn't the only thing they give you, there is other meds to treat Lupus. She needs to change Dr and get her life and kids back. She's in a really deep hole from all the shit she has been through. Prayers and best of luck . You can do this, don't make some Dr tell you your fate it life.
its pretty obvious whats going on here and for folk who suffer from Lupis its kind of a slap in the face,this wretched soul is an addict and once she looks in the mirror and realises shes the problem ,she is an addict and the substance has got a huge hold of her ,i can tell you straight from the heart that i would rather have Lupis than be in her shoes right now because she has a huge battle in front of her ,hopefully the money she gets wont end up on the streets,i pray for her
If she had insurance i bet they'd have helped. Big medical is despicable in the us
@@PETERNESS youd rather have lupus than have lupus and 2 crippling drug addictions? Weird
Don’t ever give up. I’ve been a yr without oxycodone. I was on them for 15 years. I didn’t think I’d ever get rid of that shit. Hugs 🤗 ❤️
Great Job. Keep Going You Got This I Promise 💯💯🧡🧡
That's what's up. I'm still struggling and I always feel like I'll never be able to kick them.. I want to be a free changed man rather than a shackled changed man because o feel like if I'm incarcerated, I won't get better mentally. I really feel that it'll actually make me worse. I be wanting to just die damn near every day
@@dregetemnospace6809 you can do it. I thought the same thing. I was on oxys for 10 years n then moved to fentanyl cause it was cheaper. I was so terrified of withdrawal. But I had enough and went to detox sept 13 and didn’t look back. I made the decision to be honest with my son about it and I think that’s a big reason why I don’t go back. Good luck! I promise if I can do it, anyone can. I was going through 60 15s in 2 days.
@@lindsaynoe1445
Thankyou for sharing your journey, it's real inspiring.
Mums and sons it's so beautiful, he is your Earth Angel
Love Australia
@@dregetemnospace6809 I'm in the same boat as you. You're not alone.
Someone needs to tell this gal that lupus isn't necessarily terminal, people can live with it for a long time. She needs help to find a good, compassionate doctor and social worker. It's not too late. Rehab first. Prayers are so important, too.
Her saying lupus is terminal is a excuse for her to continue her drug use. Lupus is not terminal. She is just lost in addiction.
She even says she can’t stop and won’t. She doesn’t want help. It seems like she just wants to keep taking pills until she dies. She has probably just accepted it.
People with lupus know their body and everyone’s experience with the illness is different. My sister passed away from lupus at 27 years old and even with access to great healthcare services in Canada her organs failed her and she said she could feel herself dying. It’s not too late for Heather, but I do believe she knows her experience with her illness better than anyone.
@@naila5900 sorry about your sister 💔
LUPUS IS NOT TERMINAL. THAT IS A LIE. It can kill you, yes but it is not certainly terminal. Bullllllll.
Daughter of a dilaudid addict here. I grew up seeing a lot of similar things as a lot of the people you feature in your videos. I went to school for psychology and sociology and I’m looking to help people in these situations. Your story is not unheard. You are not unheard. 🖤 thank you for the utmost bravery in telling your story. It helps more than you know.
I am literally ON MY KNEES praying for you, sweet girl. I also have multiple severe illnesses. I was addicted at age 8. I got sober from pills (at least 8, 30mg oxy’s a day, and a few OxyContins 40 mg a day once I turned 18. I got industrial amounts of IV Demerol as a small child for my illnesses) three years ago. Now, I am a severe alcoholic. I’ve been in hospital three times just this April. I’m very jaundice, sick liver, pancreas, muscles, and heart. Last week, my doctors looked me in my yellow eyes, and told me I am dying. I am desperate for help. I am fighting.
lol imagine quitting oxycodone. thats so cringe bruh. I've been popping percs since I was 16. its even more euphoric than DXM
@@based_mediumchungus1788 what’s dxm?
w are with u u are not alone u can stop bro u got to put u mind into it
@@OwenGilmoreOG dextromethorphan. it is a synthetic dissociative. same class of hallucinogens that ketamine, pcp, and nitrous oxide are a part of.
it is a vasoconstrictor though, which means it causes pee pee shrinkage.
@@based_mediumchungus1788 lol 😆 I had no idea that pcp and nitrous were related, interesting
When she says that she hasn’t learned the most important lesson in her life yet... So insightful, I hope she finds peace someday.
Don't worry she'll find peace when she od's
i hope she finds peace as well
I wish she would learn the most important lesson of all. She is worthy of love. Don’t give up.
@@tokin4207 stop being a freak
I have lupus since I’ve been 23 years old I’m 44 now she’s saying the truth in pain 24/7 all day everyday all the doctors 🥼 do is make me comfortable I’ve been a recovering addict for over 20 years I’m a drug counselor I refuse to get hooked on ANYTHING again so NO I don’t abuse no pain pills 💊 even though the doctors 🥼 give me I absolutely can relate to what she’s saying💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
❤❤❤❤❤❤
For people that don't know 'sherm' is slang for joints/cigs or any sort of rollie that has been dipped in PCP, Angle dust(Phencyclidine) and then dried and then smoked.
Thank you! I had no idea what it was 👏🏻
Thank you. I had no idea
Thank u was wondering, had to Google it
I was looking for this comment. Jesus, I cannot imagine.
WTF.......!? God love her....&.....help her.
This woman has a beautiful heart and you can see that she wants better for herself. Unfortunately everyone down to "medical professionals" have let her down and dismissed her as a human being. If she can somehow find self love and able to get real treatment for Lupus and addiction she will surely surpass 45. Also, please help get this woman out of California and to the other side of the country... Maybe the south were kindness exists. I am sending her love and healing energy. Please help her and update us soon.
Shut up. How do u know. U believe everything u see lol. Grow up
Beautiful heart?? U have 4 kids bring them across the country from everything they know then give them to foster care??? Ok. Good heart
Ain’t no love in the south. I’m from Cali and currently living in the south. I have never been in the presence of such abusive people in my life. The only redeeming factor in this place is that at least everyone here wears their real racist, sexist and homophobic faces in public and private. Here I have been accosted for nothing more than existing. Please deliver this woman into a place that is safe and healthy. Not the south as opposed to California. Good grief the way people think and then put in writing for others to see is sickening. Matter of fact @organic80 let the world be removed of thought processes that provoke the type of shaming you do.
@@annaxefta587 It’s true, so selfish
I can picture her in recovery. People like her are special, and don’t realize how special they really are and how many people are like them.
I would like to give whomever is videoing,
Interviewing , and posting these interviews props...
This needs to be seen by as many people possible...
We as a society need to truly help people who have real trauma in their lives...
Skid row exists because many turn a blind eye to those in need..
Thank you for the revealing work.
The planet needs more people like yourself.
People think that being an addict means your a weak person. I see this woman as an INCREDIBLY strong person with what she’s been through. I hope heather comes to realize her own strength. I admire her very much. I’ve been addicted to pills and overcome it, but having a terminal illness on top of that I couldn’t imagine. Heather you are so strong.
Sending you a warm hug Heather. You’ve been through so much. Also sending love to your children; it’s never a child’s fault. I had parents who were destructive as well. Take comfort in knowing it’s still possible for your children to have wonderful and fulfilled lives.
💖
Hang in there Heather a friend of mine got that same diagnosis around your age. She is 82 now. Don’t get discouraged, stay strong!
I don’t know what stage of lupus she has, but I have a few friends who have lupus and have been living with it a very long time. This woman needs a social worker.
I’m a social worker but besides a social worker def a doctor and good clinic
Yes, and one that cares and will give her hope
I have lupus. Its sad that her Doctor gave her pain pills to cope. I'm now 40 and haven't been given hydrocodone Percocet Vicodin nothing like that ever. I have been given steroids ibuprofen and a few other medication but never just straight pain meds
It breaks my heart
She seems like she has Sjogren's too, and I'm wondering if she has other autoimmune issues. 1 in 4 ppl have them, and sometimes pain management is all you have.
in short: a messed up childhood leads to a life of misery, for most. the lack of parental love, the lack of feeling unwanted/unloved at such a young age just gets embedded into their psyche. it literally feels like a throw-away society. messed up kids growing up, raising the next generation of messes up kds, and so the cycle continues. their kids put in foster care. and now we know what happens in a lot of foster homes.. so, in turn, the next generation of messed up adults are being raised... on and on it goes. verrrry saddddddd
Very true. I will be the last of the messed up generation and one day when I have kids, I will totally break that cycle and give them better and not have them experience that pain I did or my parents did.
@@Bdot888 Good on you man. That's the problem. Everyone thinks well that's how I was raised but you don't have to follow in their footsteps. I have an 8 year old that'll know she's loved and worth every breath she takes.
@@Bdot888 i'm rooting for you, my dear ❤️❤️❤️. try, try, try your best. as best you can. it takes a lot to break the cycle. you have to consciously unlearn a lot of habits/coping mechanisms. but always remember, if you do fail, it's not the end of the world, just puck yourself up, dust yourself off and try again. don't ever stop trying. and most importantly, watch your kids like a hawke. don't trust anyone around your kids (ie paedophiles - they come disguised as teachers/priests/lawyers/neighbours and friends.
I had a Xanax addiction at 17 scary time for me. Glad I left using although I continued using other substances nothing hard though. I empathize with addicts as I realize they are humans and i can be in the same position. We are no one to judge. Wish this women the best
It’s a tough addiction to kick. Withdrawing from Benzos can also cause seizures. It’s very scary. Very glad to hear of your sobriety. Keep it up! 😊💖🎉
@@SPIRIT-IN-THE-SKY extremely addictive. I am a 5 year sober heroin addict, who now struggles with Xanax and klonipin addiction. Like stated above you can and will gointo seizures and just feel nuts coming off benzos. It's not as uncomfortable as opiate withdrawal but it feels much harder on ur body.
@@SPIRIT-IN-THE-SKY God yes. I was taking 10-12 mg per day and I had seizures and all kinda problems benzo withdrawal is absolutely terrible
@@SPIRIT-IN-THE-SKY ...benzodiazepines are very very addictive, and it’s shocking and wrong that doctors/ your doctor doesn’t clearly outline the dangers and risks associated with daily use. Now the pros and cons of using them needs to be weighed, but the patient should still have all the knowledge available to them...
Cause there may come a day when they won’t prescribe them to you anymore, then you will quickly find out how addicting they are, both mentally and physically
Same.
Thank god for the USMC. ❤️
All of these are sad but this is one of the interviews that hit different 🥺
She needs to get on suboxone therapy ASAP. The cycle of taking opiates, withdrawing, using PCP for relief from W/Ds then getting more opiates is going to kill her. Not to mention the hydrocodone is so hepatotoxic.
Yea, it’s hard with real pain. Methadone is great for pain, but.... then you’re addicted to methadone
@@royalt3690 Sounds much more stable than opiates, it saved my life legit
@@royalt3690 since long term opiates dosage increases very quickly. Methadone or suboxone long ter long ter, like years, or life time treatment will safe her and she can give her life back in track. And the sometime, later can be a very slow tapering plan only the way she can handle. It is a desease and can not be quickly tapered and just a simply consulting therapy will help. no it won't, like a high blood pressure or diabetes can not be cured with words. I am on Methadone for 4 years now 40-55 mg and it a lifesaver. It is free, as Suboxone and there is no pressure on me to stop or taper it.
@@taylorprocker Believe me nobody cares if you so called get used to Methadone. it is very effective and it is unbelievable and unbearable to live with chronic pain, it kills you and eats you from inside
KRATOM works for opiate withdrawals. You CAN do it!!
You are worth so much more, Heather. I suffered with pill addiction for 5 years. The two week withdraw period was probably the worst I've felt in my life. But it was so worth it because now I am 7 years clean and a mother of 3 beautiful daughters. You can heal. It is possible. I promise.
When she said that she’s using because she’s has had enough pain, (mental, emotional) her body has betrayed her, and doesn’t want to live in constant pain, and she’s alone...I understand exactly what she meant. My RSD has me in the same head space but I can’t take pain meds, can’t drink, etc. it’s impossible for anyone to relate unless you live with chronic pain. It’s no way to live, I hope and pray for her.
I am in chronic pain. I understand completely
Hey, just wanted to say i care. I have a really great friend who has debilitating chronic pain. I wish I could borrow her pain for the weekend to give her a break, I'd do it if I could. It is absolutely heart breaking to me. She's a great person and suffers so much.
I know it doesn't make a difference, just wanted to show Little support.
@@Victoria-uq8mf your reply is so sweet and your friend is fortunate to have such an understanding and compassionate friend. Peace and love to you both.
I appreciate Heather for sharing about her life with us. In my profession, I see these types of cases a lot and it is never easy watching someone struggle. It's very painful. She mentioned we have choices that we have to life with. Actions always come with consequences. We may not be able to go back and fix our mistakes, but we can certainly learn from them and educate others. Life is a constant process of learning from our actions.
She swapped her mam's abuse for the husband's abuse at 17. God love this poor woman☘💚🙏
Amen.❤
True
mam's? what is mam?
@@101curlywurly
they mean “mom”
It wasn’t her choice is the fucked up part. Her mom just changed her daughters abuser from herself to the husband
"A patient cured is a customer lost"
Thank you for the interview Heather and SWU
One of the best interviews I've watched. I really like this lady and her complete honesty. My heart hurts for you. You are beautiful. I so hope and pray there is a light to the end of your struggles and that you will be heard and understood about your condition by doctors etc. ❤
The American medical system has let her down Lupus isn’t a terminal disease, there is no cure but the side effects can be managed and most people (90%) can live a normal life. 😕🇬🇧
@@giovannipiacen85 what did she say to make you not?
I seriously doubt the Dr said you have a terminal illness we're going to make you as comfortable as possible. It wasn't the Lupus that affected her kidneys it was the Lortab abuse.
@@chesspiece81 -- That was my first thought.
@@colleendekoning3926 Any Dr worth their license should take her off acetaminophen based pain meds. I was on prescribed 12 10mg Lortabs a day until we found something that worked for me that didn't have acetaminophen in it. And I'm sorry but withdrawals from Lortab is a walk in the park. I was able to go in and work for 8-10 hours a day when coming off hydrocodone. It's not as bad as she makes it sound.
@@chesspiece81 -- I don't believe she's under any doctor care. I have multiple autoimmune diseases and was on Fentanyl with oxy for breakthrough plus Gabapentin and I went cold turkey during my divorce when my ex tried to claim I was a drug addict even though all my meds were RX and monitored. You'd be surprised what people can do when they really WANT to keep custody of their children. It wasn't pleasant, like you said, but nothing like what she is claiming. I've been dealing with constant pain every day for almost 15 years now. Not fun, but I still have both my kidneys. ;) And my kids.
I LOVE THIS CHANNEL!!!
Mark, thank you for all your time invested in this work. 🙏🏻
I follow mark from the start I never comment but I fell I have to comment on this in case she read my comment I have lupus as well and in pain everyday and lupus attack the body but I don’t give up there so much more medication u can have for lupus to help u body fight it don’t give up pleases don’t
"What's the most important thing you've learned in your life?
I haven't learned it yet."
One of the few that is still self-aware
She married her mother and the rest is history.
Lord, bless this soul.
Hang tough beautiful. Doctors are so overwhelmed and regulated don’t take their decisions as not caring. I’ve been there. I care, your children care that’s why they are hurt and push you away. DON`T let the depression and drugs win. There IS coming back from it and YOU need to stay around so you can SHOW your children who you are...hurt but still love them. You are worthy of a better life, please don’t give up. XO
This one brought me to tears. She just needs someone to care. God bless her.
My heart cries for her. This is by far the most touching, emotional episode I have seen.
Heather needs a second medical opinion on her Lupus
condition...a current Review.
I pray to God she finds her way! Am I crazy for thinking there's hope for everybody? The addiction, the abuse... I pray God deliver her from that pain!
I think there’s especially hope for her.
She’s not too far gone to turn things around but she needs a caring mental health doctor and a caring doctor for her physical health but she probably can’t afford either 😢
Not crazy at all. I was so addicted to heroin and meth. Lost my kids. Lost my life, but i was given another chance. Here i am. 5 years clean and all my kids home with me. And everyone is happy
@@candi4202 God bless you! Idk you, but I'm glad you're alive and well
@@syrritajones2538 thank you so much! Been a long road but happy I'm here
Ur crazy to keep talking about this delusion ur praying to
Another remarkably stunning portrait, Mark. Very well done.
I've known Heather for decades I grew up with her and her sisters. They are beautiful misunderstood souls. I love you so much Heather!! You are so strong thank you for being here for me and the kids. 🥰😘😍
Sending you much love, as long as you're alive there is hope Heather. You are not alone, I am rooting for you. Hang in there love xo
This is the definition for Lupus: With close follow-up and treatment, 80-90% of people with lupus can expect to live a normal life span. It is true that medical science has not yet developed a method for curing lupus, and some people do die from the disease. However, for the majority of people living with the disease today, it will not be fatal.
I have lupus and the pain is indescribable,. Part of what she’s saying is true.. the doctors do tell you things like your lifespan will be shorter however with new medicines the disease is somewhat tolerable.. however it’s dreadful. Every single day is dreadful
A plant based diet helps immensely.
Building up a resistance to pills is a hell of a thing. I was on prescription pills for a while, and I kept adapting to the dosage, so the doctor kept increasing the dose until I was at six times what I started off at.
When THAT stopped being effective I got scared that a higher dose might be dangerous, so I quit cold turkey (very bad idea, but I wasn’t exactly thinking straight at the time)
I didn’t sleep for three days after, and I freak a bit, but now I don’t take anything stronger than aspirin
I quit hydrocodone after 5 yrs, cold turkey. I use Ibuprofen, pot, and a drink at night. Bad Car accident. That lupus isnt killing her, its her depression.
She's justifying her addiction
@@vonderloo3184 Investigate lupus.
@@chesspiece81 Investigate lupus.
Heather im with u. i know what i feels to be in constant pain and ppl dont undestand what it feels like. also they think we "fake" our pain. hope u will be better soon!
💯💯💯💯
I never really understood how people say getting pills is so easy. I tried so hard when I was in active addiction to get opiates and Benzos from so many doctors and they always said no, thank god
I ❤❤❤ your comment. "Thank God"! I thank God for you too. 💜
It helps when you have an chronic illness on record and don’t show any signs of addiction. Doctors can tell an addict from a regular patient they have to take classes on this type of thing in medical school. Hence why most of the opitates on the street aren’t even manufactured in the U.S and are brought from Mexico or India. I don’t have an addiction but I do have an illness that is chronic and the amount of pills I’ve had shoved down my throat is ridiculous. You may not know this but doctors receive financial kickbacks from Pharmaceutical companies for prescribing certain drugs (including opiates). Luckily you came across a lot of doctors with good ethics but for a lot of physicians it’s about money they will gladly give you whatever bc they get paid regardless in their eyes if you get addicted it was your own fault.
Because doctors that don't care do exist. They'd rather write a script because they make money from it then save someone from the addiction.
🤷♀️
Ne too - its really hard in Australia ~ they have a data bank for Doctor shoppers xx
I'm on benzos, narcs & adderall rn. Super easy to get.
An abusive cowardly Alcoholic parent self centered to the core i feel for you Heather take care
I honestly feel for this lady. Im 39 too, my father came from close to Italy. Ive been addictied to opiates for nearly 20 years too and my family gave up on me. Difference is I dont have kids but honeslty hate this addiction. Ive been opiate free for 2 weeks and each day is a strugggle and pain. I can really relate to her, If you can read this Heather pls get in touch with me Im in Manchester in England. Would be nice to speak to you sometime. I hope you can get though this Im here for you.
David
Yeah man it's super hard I been on Percocet for 4 years it's so hard to get off
Heather, you’re super brave and have a beautiful spirit. By the time your kids are mature enough to understand, they should be very proud of you. Thank you for sharing your story. Hopefully, it will make a difference. Stay strong. Peace and God bless.💪🏽❤️👑
Heather , I’m so sorry that you go thru this pain everyday 😔. Thinking of you 🙏☮️💓
Wow you can tell she really needed to express those feelings. Crying is sometimes very beneficial and I think she needed to do that. She is beautiful and I wish I knew her so I could talk to her and try to help
So many emotions suppressed for so long.. You’re worthy of love and healthy relationships and a healthy lifestyle. Never give up on yourself, beautiful woman. ❤️ brighter days to come. Sending love and prayers your way.
Im surprised no ones told her about tapering. It sounds like she didn't want to be off them because the sickness goes away. If she did a looong taper the sickness can be greatly avoided and she won't die from opiate withdrawals so I say just do it
The Tylenol might worse for her than the entire Hydrocodone. :/
I don't think she is ready to come off, especially with her pain level, she needs something.
But a slow taper, or a longer-acting pain med, or MMT could really turn her life around...
She has Chronic pain due to a Terminal illness.
@@roxannerodriguez7075 you are 100% right and most commentors dont get that part. i think 12 norcos is just about near acetaminophen poisoning and shes at 8 a day. she def needs a different pain killer like 10mg oxy with no APAP in my opinion.
@@marylougeorge9890 -- Lupus is not a "terminal illness".
@@peachmint1837 One of my buddies is on suboxone for chronic pain, they should see how she tolerates that, will keep her from abusing other opiates too, somewhat.
Heather, please don't give up. You have so much to offer this world and your children. I hope you find a Dr. that can give you a second opinion about the lupus and put you on a drug free treatment. You are precious.
Prayers, sweet girl. I pray you find peace on this earth and relief. Stay strong.
I love her honesty. Wishing you the best life can offer. Don’t give up, there’s still time to fix things! Prayers 🙏🏻
Best interview so far for me. I feel her pain. You had to grow up way to fast. You are a wonderful human being. I wish you were my daughter. I would all ways be there for you. Wishing you happiness and comfort. Don't give up. You need to find different Dr.s. don't give up. There is help out there. By far the most honest and responsible young lady I have seen so far from Marks interviews. Hang tough the streets are no place for someone like you. You are much to beautiful to live life this way.
She is not honest at all. Lupus is not a "terminal illness" and no actual medical professional would be prescribing what she claims to be taking unless they wanted to be arrested.
Maybe she had quacks for Dr.s I don't know who to believe on these interviews anymore. I usually can tell when they are lying but addicts are so good at lying and manipulation and these are people that have those faults mastered for sure. Thank you for your reply. I know now I am not a good judge of character.
I feel for Heather. I wonder if suboxone or methadone could help. Chronic pain and illness can easily cause addiction and dependency.
It does all she needs is some methadone or subaxone i wonder why it’s not talked about more in thankful cause I got shot and that hydro is very addictive
She needs to get on one of those and therapy
Yeah clearly she needs to be on either one of those. Def doesn’t need hydro’s!
Yes, similar to mental pain and illness causing addiction and dependency, if doctors won't treat your symptoms, you will treat them yourself. Methadone and Suboxone are both actually very good for dealing with long term chronic pain management, I agree with you, toss in some therapy, and a reliable psych doctor as well.
I hope she can get off drugs and begin to repair her life. Life can get better.
I was addicted to Percocet for years. Just like you, and anyone, I got sick when I didn’t have them, however, you won’t die from the sickness with withdrawal. You will feel like you’re going to die, but you won’t! Please, just quit, I promise you won’t regret it. There are many lupus meds out there to help you. Change your doctor
Can you assist me with morphine withdrawal I'm on a somewhat low dose finally now, it was originally caused by oxy contin prescription when I had oral surgery for my jaw.
I'm currently down to around 8-16mgs of hydromorphone per day right now however recently some days I've gotten by with just 4 MGS and was very proud but it's so difficult took 10mgs now as I'm extremely sick
@@mitchcapps4878 i recommend doing your research throughly for a legitimate Suboxone prescriber. One that will only have you on it for a short period of time, to help with withdrawal. In the process, do 90 meetings in 90 days, get a sponsor, and know that there is no shame in asking for help. I’ll be praying for you
@@kasidavis7433 thank you so much,means alot ☺️
@@mitchcapps4878 you are very welcome! I promise it’s possible, I know it doesn’t seem like it, and the thought of withdrawal always kept me using, but the Suboxone really helped that! I’m so much happier and healthier now! I know you can do it, I believe in you
Hi Heather, I'm filled with empathy for you & cannot help but relate. Going from an abusive home to abusive husband/relationships, children being taken away, & dealing with a severe chronic medical condition which leads right to pain med issues... Yep. You are not alone! Some comments here offer good information, which can at least help you get some of the first steps started. It can be a long road, untangling some of the issues you're currently dealing with, but not impossible. You need some real help & I'm hoping your video with Mark will lead to just that🙂
Heather you seem like a very kind person. I hope you get better and get your life together. Please get better and be the best mom you can be for your kids. They need you.
I can easily identify with Heather. It is no fun to have an incurable illness and to be in constant pain. I lived that for many years and, I still live it. I understand that she feels that the doctors do not care. If I could speak to her, I would suggest a 2nd or even 3rd opinion on the treatment of her illness. I am glad that she was able to speak to Mark, (have someone to truly listen without judgment). Abuse is very damaging, any of it. It is sad to hear that Heather has just kind of given up. I see past all of that. I see a young woman with a lot of potential, who could do whatever she wished to do. If you ever read this Heather, know that you are worthy. I wish that I could talk to you because I have been there. I am 54 years old now and doing okay. Please, never give up on yourself.
I have chronic pain as well so I feel this young ladies pain. Don’t give up! You can find a doctor who cares, keep seeking one. Prayers for you. You are a beautiful soul.
I get the feeling she has a good heart so this is sad to see her w/so much pain both physical & emotionally. Sending healing, positive, loving thoughts her way..💚🧡
This poor woman is soooooooo weak! She's got zero fight left in her. It's so sad. All she believes is that she is going to die.
Exactly my thoughts. I feel so bad for her.
I know I wish I could hold her and tell her it’s going to be ok
all she wants is to have another fix and it must be awful to live like that ,so damm sad on so many levels
Wow, she is lying to herself. Family member has lupus and she is 65 yrs old. Never heard her say its killing her.
Ive known a few people with that also ..was not deadly. Shes got excuses for her drug use
I'm not an expert on lupus but couldn't there be varying degrees of the disease and if she's not caring for it it can be out of control. I have an autoimmune disease and stress makes it a lot worse
Yeah I don’t get why she’s even prescribed hydro’s at all.
Lupus is manageable in most cases but there are a lot of people that die at a young age from it. Not everyone is the same. All of our bodies react differently to things. Just like any disease there's different levels.....
I've know a few people with lupus. Some you would never know it. Others are debilitated by it. Never judge someone else, especially if you've never had their affliction.
I have chronic pain from multiple fractures after a car accident. I have a pain management dr. He gives me 4 percocets a day. This has been the dosage for seven years now, along with injections. No more or no less. I've been lucky to have a dr. who knows about addiction...
I feel so hard for her! She’s basically me if I got addicted to the hydrocodone. I got sick at 17 and they gave me hydrocodone for nerve pain. My doctor made it very clear what would happen if I took more than he prescribed and he wouldn’t give me more and although I was in a ton of pain, it looks like not taking more was way better. Several years later I found a chiropractor who did an outdated method of aligning the neck and was able to relieve my pain and I’ve been off since because I have auto immune issues too and I’m feeling a lot better being off of it. I’m so sorry your doctors failed you so bad 😢
I have lupus too. I feel her pain. I was addicted to hydrocodone and still currently taking it, and other drugs, for pain control. Health care usually dismisses us as drug addicts regardless of if we are or not. Having lupus, some doctors just give give give to comfort us but it's a crutch. When doctors give up on you, you feel hopeless. You feel alone. You are not alone hunny. I wish that I could speak with her and help her in any way I can. I'm praying for you luv
Lupus isn't terminal, it's only terminal when YOU TREAT your body like crap. I'd love to hear her kids version of this story.
She should've just stayed with the hydrocodone don't see the need to use PCP when she already got that bad of health issues I see you're point. But at the same time she said everyone gave up on her.
WHY? Why would you feel the need to question her kids? That's just plucked up. That's just a dumb thing to say when someone's in so much pain that's a judge mental asshole thing to say
@@colleenmarie7977 If they won't have anything to do with her there is another side to the story that is probably just as, if not more, painful. She's been on drugs for 22 years and has 4 kids who ended up in the system because of her drug use. If you enjoy this channel think of some of the stories from the perspective of those now adult kids who ended up in care with destroyed lives because of their mother's preference for drugs to numb their pain.
@@mitchcapps4878 she still uses the hydrocodone she runs out quicker then she used to.
I am sorry you have experienced so many hurtful things Heather. You deserve a safe and happy life. ❤️
I was on 30 hydro tens a day for many many years I knew the talk to get them from script doctors
I too have lupus. I withdrew many times so I know it's painful I wouldn't suggest anybody do that on their own at home. it's setting yourself up for failure .if you could get to a suboxone Clinic that would mean a world of difference to you they can eventually wean you off of it you won't get the same high but you won't be dope sick and you'll be more clear-headed have a better sense of a energy in your life I hope the best for you girl
I want to reach out and hug this girl and tell her everything is going to be OK
Me too. I feel for her so much
Me too! I am dying for her to know she is not going to die from Lupus! It is not fatal and they have a new drug that is working brilliantly Benlysta. She was given terrible advice. The interviewees don’t always see the messages. I sure pray Mark tells her!!!
I truly hope she gets better and finds the positive light. Doctors aren’t always right you know. You could still easily live til you’re 90 with Lupis
Thank you for sharing the story. You’ve taught me how to be a better parent.
I wish that you never had to go through all of that.
Aww, she needs a hug this breaks my heart to see things like this happen to good people
My cousin is 60? Still working full time and lives with lupus. He’s as healthy as anyone. Seems like he’ll live to very old age. I wish for her to get the therapy she needs.
Every case is different with lupus. My sister has it and is alive. My best friend had it and she passed in 2018 at 45 yrs old
this broke my heart, she genuinely seems so sweet
First interview to make me cry. And there's been some heavy ones!! I have a chronic illness and just your story relates to me insanely. I really pray you find happiness and some peace! 💛
Face your pain and you will be able to free yourself and be an example for your kids. I'm so sorry about your lupus. Is there a group you can join who can teach you how to live with lupus successfully? There must be
.
You try facing her chronic pain.
Yes, there are Lupus groups. It is not a terminal illness, and most people with Lupus are not addicted to opiates.
@@colleendekoning3926 You're a liar. The definition of "Terminal Illness" is a disease that cannot be adequately treated or cured. Lupus is incurable and it's a disease that causes your own immune system to kill your body.
@@colleendekoning3926 You can look this up within five seconds. Stop trying to misinform people about these things just because you have a problem with people who use substances.
@Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ for Eternal Life 😂😂😂 You surely show that God is love and it's His kindness that brings us to Repentance.
I see my daughter in pain Every day for the past 28 years. Some days you can't even touch her. Look up fibromyalgia. So I Do have an idea about chronic pain. She also has RA and Rynald's and probably at least 1 other painful condition.
This world can be so cruel and painful, what a nice lady, sending you a big warm hug xxx
What a sweetheart - heart of gold. I hope you find happiness Heather 🙏🏻❤️🥰
Oh sweetie, you and me are twins. Diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and pain meds were their cure all. 20 years later and I'm a scared to death full blown addict eating them like skittles!! I know EXACTLY what you mean about you "have to have them." Praying for you doll...I KNOW this struggle is real and hard! withdrawal scares the shit out of me! I wish we could go through this together.
When she said “I haven’t learned it yet”, I felt that
This is terribly sad, a beautiful lady with a extremely sad past! Lupus is horrid but so is the other immune & disorders you can get! I’m in my 30th year of fibromyalgia which has a severe family connection to multiple sclerosis. My family are four generations of fibromyalgia & multiple sclerosis & it’s painful & is crippling. But none of us have died because we are strong, yes three generations are gone. I’m the fourth but one auntie still struggles but she makes me stronger & I thank her, so blessings to my auntie, her brother my daddy died 💜.........I’ve had a amazing life, not perfect but I feel blessed & I really do think this makes a difference when we have a wonderful family & good friends. I send her love from France/Uk & I’ll pray for her in my travels 💜
Here I am sometimes forgetting to take my multivitamins, and she couldn't go a certain amount of hours without taking these substances. My prayers go out to her and anyone going through this. ❤️🙏🏿
Heather I feel for you! you are never alone, as a addict myself at such a young age (15 yrs old) its horrible and its extremely hard, especially its hard to escape that hell. I send out my prayers to you, my support, and my love. I wish I could give you the biggest hug and say its okay and im here for you, even if you dont know me because the pain in your eyes hurts me so deeply it really does. No one deserves this type of pain you have on you, please do not give up hope so soon! I believe in you Heather, I'm not gonna give up on you, there's brighter days at the end of the tunnel love. I love you babe!
I feel this story personally I was also abused it takes a lot to have a normal life after abuse it’s truly saddening seeing this
Pill addiction and chronic illness go hand in hand.. lost my aunt last year from it. She also had lupus as well as a few other medical conditions, that wasn’t what killed her. She’d been given such high dosages of pain meds and anxiety medication that over the span of 20 years, they took her before her illness. It’s been proven time and time again that addiction doesn’t discriminate..
I hear a lot of excuses and "I can't" !! Our self talk completely changes how we see the world, change starts with the literal words we tell ourselves! Hope this woman seeks the help she needs.
Thats right, absolutely 💯
I was thinking the same thing...when she said the doctors have given up on her, & thus she's given up on herself...so sad. Like Henry Ford once said, "Whether you believe you can or you can't...you're right." I'm praying she'll have a wake-up moment and get some fight back in her somehow.
Those can be amazing tools. If you do it right and stick with it...follow the program, work on developing your own recovery, get therapy...eventually every thing starts to change. It gets good really fast too. Hard in the beginning but gets easier. Some people have to stay on it forever, but lots of people know when they are ready to taper down and eventually do. Lots of people are completely off of everything now thanks to MAT. It’s ALWAYS worth a try (and try again). I think of it like a bridge.
Due to her chronic pain, she might have to be on something life long. Whatever it takes, man.
Heather, your story touched me. Please get help, life is beautiful and so are you.
I need an update! I relate to Heather so much, and my heart breaks for her. I need to know she is sober!
I’m her sister and she is not sober just yet but she is doing okay
Me too. What a higher vibrational spiritual Gangster she is. Bless
It’s validating to hear the chronic pain stories. This really does happen. My ex-husband beat me and f*cked me up (skull fractures, osteomyelitis that most people don’t live through, etc). and had a chronic pain and multiple illnesses (I was sickly, as my grandmother says). I ran away and went back to the street life I was turned out to at 14, and hid behind one abusive man cause I was sure the other one would kill me. The second guy wouldn’t let me use the car to go to the doctor or the phone to cancel and I got kicked out of the pain clinic for missing a gynecologist appointment in the same provider network (they never told me that could happened at all). I was on 120 mg of morphine & hydrocodone (90 & 30) a day, and started buying meds on the streets to treat my pain. I had no clue a lot of them were really made at pill mills with the same stamp & were fentanyl. It’s hard to get pills so dealers offer you samples of every other thing as painkillers. I never would have taken any of those things but if you’re sick & have a degenerative, painful condition you will do it. Anyone with at that point; I don’t care. That’s when your problems with the law and social services start, just like she said. All of a sudden they label you an addict instead of a patient. A lot of people would say she could just kick in 3 days, but it’s different when you’re seriously ill and in pain, it really is. And these welfare doctors only get paid not to care, because Medicaid is so paltry that tests are discouraged. Once most doctors put you on an addict list, they just invalidate any and every concern. I am prescribed medications that ruin your kidneys (not opiates anymore). I was just told that instead of monthly kidney function tests, I have been cut to yearly, due to insurance changes. A year is a very long time for diseased kidneys to progress. I wonder if she could get Suboxone. Depending on her state she would either have to say that she is a pain patient or that she’s an addict because some doctors won’t treat one or the other and there are rules for different states. It’s very helpful if you can be honest if it’s a pain because otherwise they might try to wean you but I would just take what you can get in as far as doctors and then look for a better one. If I had had that suggestion right away I would never have ended up on her drugs in and out of jail and would’ve skipped the street drug route entirely. All I wanted was really for my pain and I can tell she’s the same way. She can’t go backwards but she can look for an alternative. There is hope from here, if you’re reading this. Also if you possibly have money it’s good to buy Kratom. That worked better than the Suboxone for me, with fewer side effects. It is at the moment still legal in most states although they keep fighting it even though it has helped so many people get off heroin and fentanyl and pills, and you can’t overdose on it by itself in fact I doubt if it tips the balance in any overdoses it’s very similar to marijuana in strength of toxicity, as it’s a natural plant. She wouldn’t have to hide that she use that although you should use discretion because there are some alarmist articles going around, like ending it to other painkillers but the thing is that if nobody dies and you can function, that’s a huge deal. If she took the Suboxone that would really help with not having to have the highs and lows of the pills, because there’s not that peak concentration time and then getting sick. It is a partial opiates so it’s not gonna cause a high for people who are used to opiates but it does provide me pain relief. It’s really not as much as I need but I’m leery of going on methadone. I would rather switch to more Kratom when I can afford it. Right now I am in the process of weaning off the Suboxone as long as possible so that it will be more effective for pain. My doctors supervise it’s used for pain so it’s not some thing you necessarily have to sneak around and do, if you find a Doctor who does work with pain patients. Because Kratom is milder than pills a lot of people have a similar experience with that, they are more stable. I wouldn’t do it as a first step from Percocet but if that really wasn’t enough they will prescribe methadone for pain and at least there are so many highs and lows and you are covered and not having to go to street dealers. Sometimes that’s a good option for people who have really serious pain because her pain is not being appropriately treated by her doctors at all. Lupus is not like take a few Percocet a month kind of pain. Or a referral to real pain specialist about some thing like OxyContin. I know that’s not a great way to go for a lot of people but she does have a grave and painful illness, and should not have to be vulnerable and broke, on Sherm and going through sickness all the time. Undertreating pain is as likely to cause illegal/illicit drug use as overtreating pain, maybe more so because people have to do something. I wonder if there is a harm reduction clinic in that area that could better advise her about her options. She is not someone who should be half a**treated by a primary doc for pain or told just to go to treatment. That’s not gonna work with lupus.
The pain in her voice is heartbreaking :( may god ease her pain
Heather you may or may not see this... but I was where you are 2 years ago. I too suffer from chronic pain to the point where drugs like oxymorphone aren't even effective. I got put on suboxone 2 years ago and it has completely saved my life. You are loved and you deserve happiness and comfort. I love you dear... stay strong.
There are very few interviews on this channel that don't break my heart.
Girl hope you find the strength to pull out of this and live life. Sometimes just packing up and moving away from the shit around you is the answer. Get that stimulus check and move the hell away from those people and drugs around you.