Це відео не доступне.
Перепрошуємо.
DATING is an extended HIRING PROCESS: how to be more confident in the courtship process
Вставка
- Опубліковано 16 лип 2023
- Buy my book, "The Value of Others"
Ebook: amzn.to/460uGrA
Audiobook: amzn.to/3YfFwbx
Paperback: amzn.to/3xQuIFK
In no culture that I'm aware of does the woman propose to the man. What this means is that, ultimately, it is the man who invites the woman into his life -- not the other way around. Appreciation of this fact reframes dating as an extended hiring process, in which the man attempts to determine whether the woman possesses the traits, skills, and attributes necessary to discharge the responsibilities associated with the position he has created in his life for her.
Social Media
Facebook: p...
LinkedIn: / orion-taraban-070b45168
Instagram: / psyc.hacks
Twitter: / oriontaraban
Website: oriontarabanps...
Orion's Theme: • Enrico Deiana - Orion'...
Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com.
Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tap....
GRE Bites: / @grebites4993
Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community:
/ @psychacks
Book a paid consultation:
oriontarabanps...
Sponsor an episode:
oriontarabanps...
Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com
Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #dating #relationship
In no culture that I'm aware of does the woman propose to the man. What this means is that, ultimately, it is the man who invites the woman into his life -- not the other way around. Appreciation of this fact reframes dating as an extended hiring process, in which the man attempts to determine whether the woman possesses the traits, skills, and attributes necessary to discharge the responsibilities associated with the position he has created in his life for her.
Social Media
Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/
Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks
Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban
Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com
Orion's Theme: ua-cam.com/video/WrXBzQ2HDEQ/v-deo.html
Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com.
Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com.
GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993
Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community:
ua-cam.com/channels/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw.htmljoin
Book a paid consultation:
oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations
Sponsor an episode:
oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode
Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com
Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #dating #relationship
The moment a an get married he is no longer the C.E.O. but the janitor.
One of the main problems with dating is a woman's delusion that she is a 21 year-old free agent Goddess who will only age like fine wine and every "team" is willing to give up all their first round draft picks to get her when she is, in fact, a post-wall 49er. Thinks she's a "9" when she her kids, mileage and lack of "job skills" for being a real wife make her a "4."
The other main problem is that too many men believe in the soul mate myth, in oneitis and the unicorn that is the only one for them. If they studied this video, they would understand, that most women have - to some degree, some more, some less - of the qualifications that the responsibilities that are required of a wife and/or mother of his children.
There was no culture where either party proposes, because it was done by the parents a hundred years ago
There was no "sexual marketplace" where the man went and competed. Dating and all that modern Western Hollywood nonsense didn't exist. People who think dating is a good idea are retarded Western people who can't point to any long term successes from it.
Quaint… 😂🤣😂
Women are the gatekeepers of sex. In the old days, men had to WORK and EARN a woman's sexual favors. Not anymore. They spread super-easy for "hot" guys.
Men are the gatekeepers of a relationship/marriage. They only proposed to women who were "worthy" of bearing his children. Not anymore. They're getting the milk without paying for the cow.
"A lot of you out there acting like bosses while looking for a job." That's a spot on for modern,independent women!
A woman's reply will be "CEO is a job" 😂
@@g550driver13 Every CEO has to be hired by the company where they want to be CEO. They still have to have the talent, experience, and skills to run a profitable company. But, if they don't act like a CEO in the interview, it's not likely that they will be hired because the people interviewing them will pick up on that.
Facts
Men are employers who can't demand the employee to fulfill her role, will be forced to pay as much as the employee asks for and if the employee unilaterally decides to quit, he may be forced to pay her salary for years.
TO be fair, you only feel this way if you view yourself as unattractive. The relationships I had when i looked my best in my 20's never felt like I was paying to be with the woman.. Now as I am 35 with my hairline receding and not getting any results from dating apps despite listing myself as 6'2 and making 115k a year, it feels like any relationship I will be in the future will be transactional
@@michaelangst6078yes that’s the perks of dating young, when your young it’s all about attraction when your old it’s about transaction
@@michaelangst6078 If you view yourself as attractive, you instantly get immunity from divorce laws. Got it.
@@michaelangst6078 don't test results from apps or think it is a true reflection of your value. gotta get out there and approach women IRL for actual results.
The best employers don't have the problems you describe.
Finally! Someone who understands the game of life and dating and how to play it to win.
Thanks for your support, Dhane.
@@psychacks The world may call me a loser, but i can't give up being nice, kind and respectful.
Of course it hurts a lot inside to be alone, but it's just how i am.
And watching adult videos every now and then helps.
I do have a massive fear of rejection and being humiliated, therefore i just stick to myself.
@@baazinews1027no, you don't just keep it to yourself. You are here looking for dating advice. Keep learning, keep improving!
@@baazinews1027respectfully, I think you may have the wrong idea of what the words nice, kind and respectful mean in the context of dating.
@@jamesholster5323 In My Country women look down upon nice, kind and respectful men.
They prefer sharks who oppress others or insult others.
If you are nice then the woman and her family will see you as a weak link.
I know its sad here ... but that's just how some of the Non-Western Countries are.
I have a new look on dating. Dating is getting to know someone to potentially establish a relationship. You dont need to go on dates to get to know people.
Just talk to people whenever you see them and get to know them and allow them to get to know you more.
Keep this in mind. Just because you do this, does not mean it has to last forever. You never know, you might become infatuated with someone you thought you wouldnt just based on looks alone.
'Just talk to people whenever you see them and get to know them and allow them to get to know you more.' - I've been doing this for a VERY long time for dozens upon dozens of women. That's how I sniff out their NPD among other traits, and it's during this period that I test women for their attitudes, reactions, emotional stability, and so on. None of them pass.
@@EE12CSVTyou’re on to something.
@@elchucapablas Great minds think alike 👍🏻
@@michaelhowington4205 Kid there's no such thing as a friend zone
Relations-, few want 'the ship' that goes with them.
When I started thinking of dating as a sales process, prospecting, qualifying, and pipeline, it started to make sense. Now I need to figure out what the actual product is 🙂
The product you're selling is a place in your life. OR in the context of how doc framed it (i.e - hiring someone to fit in your life that will contribute towards the creation of a "product"). That product is for you to define: the goals, pursuits, meaning, type of life you want to manifest, the value you want to put into the world and those around you, what you build together with a potential partner, etc. would be the "product"
Hopefully it ain't all that transactional and robotic
You are the product that you are selling to women. If you are successful in making the sale you will receive payment (i.e. physical intimacy). If you are unsuccessful in selling yourself, you need to apply for another job elsewhere. Women, like employers, have their inbox flooded with potential candidates though. Women, like employers, can fire their employees too (divorce).
Sorrow.
Sex is the product: you pay, you receive sex.
My whole life I've understood dating to be a hiring process and had people trying to convince me I was wrong.
Same. And potential interested partners are resumes (numbers on your phone)
Whole life?
I am dating a woman now who didn't care about how much I made. Only dude's who have to rely on being in a transactional relationships or go sexless think like you
Not joining his life. They a r evstarting new lifestyle.
Mother means fe l eaten to her child, her life
@@michaelangst6078Good on you, may your experience remain like that for for. But note that your experience doesn’t negate the broader observations that have been with us across time and cultures. Majority of them care about your money, so what is your point, that is rather in the minority?
Women need to understand if he's showing interest in her, he's offering you a place in his life. He's not looking to be employed by her, at all. He wants someone to complement his life, to become a good wife and mother. Feminism has destroyed that.
i found the top comment here!!!!
Because we’ve offered power without responsibility. Freedom without risk or consequence.
Excellent summary
@@kellygreenii and without accountability
The problem here is that women (the employer) are inundated with thousands of job applications from men/employees. As women are in the position of power and have executive control over the selection process, they will reject 99.9% of job applications. I think men (excluding Chad and Tyrone) are delusional if they think they have any kind of leverage or power in the modern dating marketplace.
Your insights into dating have struck me as the most precise and cogent I've ever encountered, offering a fair and veracious view for all parties involved. Your knack for conveying such profound truths with exceptional clarity, precision, and efficacy is genuinely commendable. Further, the depth of your knowledge and the impact of your content never cease to impress me. Your contributions continually evoke thought, inspire change, and stimulate meaningful conversations. I'm grateful for the passion and wisdom you infuse into your work. Please continue to make such an extraordinary difference with your remarkable content. Your efforts are truly transformative!
Thanks for the kind words, Ken. I'm honored
10:09 this is precisely the problem. Women to be the ones hiring and in control of the process without being responsible. You see it in dating when women say "taking applications". Their strong and independent attitudes are destroying their prospects.
… these attitudes are solipsisticaöly narcissistically deluded, in all inherently xx.ine toxicity, of course, just to point out. no gent does actually need all that in his life. let go of f.o.m.o., gents. refrain from even ideating ‚in-wasting‘ (y)our m.e.a.t. to ‚beauty-foolish‘ walking detriment. life is | will have been too short.
yes, this is the message. the women will be all picky, entitled, even abusive ..if you let them. always be in a position to do the hiring. then once hired, maintain the position to do a firing too when performance is not as agreed to. allow leverage over you and it will **always** be used against you. being in charge is not being mean or abusive. it's a necessary element of a lasting relationship for all participants 😎
@@mobilemcsmarty1466 exactly. and one dispositional option for gents is certainly to be responsibly not hiring at all. like staying sober, per deliberation.
@@VaronPlateando oh yeah, I forgot to emphasize the perfectly fine option of being a solo free agent. now should you wish to hire I highly recommend having more than one employee. the implied competition makes for good company. two is a sweet spot for me ..when I feel like more than zero. go for more if you have the management energy. three was nice for a while. be with a one and only and then you're the employee 😎
You are a teacher sir... All the way from Nigeria
The last 3 minutes sum up all the relationship process excellently. Men are employers, women are employees. Men must behave as employers, not employees. Thank you Dr. Taraban.
The thing is, if you're on a date with a woman who thinks she's there to interview you for a position, it's doomed from the start. That boss babe attitude won't ever leave, and really should've been sniffed out by the man before asking her out. At the first sign of it, run.
This is also the reason why things like "coffee dates" and such are becoming more of the norm in spite of women being upset by them. It's far more efficient for a man to get to know someone with a more casual meetup to talk before you even begin to invest in them (time or money) in any meaningful way, let alone actually invite them on a real date.
@@Shifft-This Yep, the first date should never be anything like lunch or a meal, a 'proper date' that many women seem to think they deserve. The first lengthy interaction between a man and a woman - and indeed man/man and woman/woman - should be simple, inexpensive, casual and low-pressure to examine each other's personality and that either can make a rapid escape if they need to. You probably discover 90% of what they're like in that first chat.
@@Shifft-Thislooking at it through the lens of this video, a coffee date just became the ultimate filter.
If she is offended at the idea, she's not dateable. "Where on Earth does this one go where she expects a paycheck just for showing up to the first job interview??!!"
You are the voice of reason. At the end of the day, women, like employers, have their inbox flooded with a bunch of potential candidates. Women, like employers, may try out a man but will let him go (divorce) if he is not doing his job. If the man/employee does his job, he will receive payment (physical intimacy). Women will always be the employer (unless you are a Chad or Tyrone who is capable of receiving job applications).
… these attitudes are solipsisticaöly narcissistically deluded, in all inherently xx.ine toxicity, of course, just to point out. no gent does actually need all that in his life. let go of f.o.m.o., gents. refrain from even ideating ‚in-wasting‘ (y)our m.e.a.t. to ‚beauty-foolish‘ walking detriment. life is | will have been too short.
I remember reading something like, "There's a world of security and contentment for a woman in the words 'my husband'," and I think that's true. Some women aren't applying so much for a position as for bragging rights to other women. Men need to be aware of this if she starts hinting that she expects a proposal, a ring, a "commitment" and that stuff. Rest assured she can't wait to call her mom, her bestie, and her prospective bridesmaids to spill the news. You may be just an accoutrement to her game plan.
Wow I lived this one.....i was part of the Disney fantasy until I had opinions and friends
She values you for everything you provide her, material and intangible. You as a human being are irrelevant.
You just gave all men the hack to be more confident... it's time to be the employer, hire women for the positions we need to make our life better/easier.
+ Hire slow fire fast 👍🏻
Husbands, love your wife as Christ loved the Church and gave himself for it. That he might sanctify and cleanse it by the washing of water by the Word...
@@samuelmorse784 lmao!!!! You guys have jokes!!!
Girls be all about their business to screw you be focused on yours.
@@samuelmorse784 to hell with christ
@samuelmorse784 She has to earn the title of "wife" and work consistently to maintain it like any other vocation in life. You don't just hand it over to any broad, especially the ones of today that are being brought up from a degenerate society. That's the problem with you modern christians. All you do is utter catchphrases and to think that's supposed to absolve you having to do any heavy lifting in the process. The word was made flesh for a reason. So that it rationalize along with us. Not just utter catchphrases.
Very well-said. I remember back in my dating days I never looked at a date like it was me trying to prove myself to the woman. By all means you were nice, you maybe brought her a flower, etc. to show you were a quality guy who would appreciate her if things worked out, but once getting into the date, I treated it very much like a job interview. You start off on the first date with basic questions about her hobbies, family life, etc. but when you get into the nitty gritty by date 2 or 3 about her past, etc. that's when you're getting into the types of items that will "prevent a hiring" from occurring - has she been with too many men? Still friends with her ex boyfriend? Have any kids? Does she vote for Democrats? Those kinds of things lead right to the "well thanks for applying, we'll be in touch" speech, lol.
I see she dodged a bullet there haha
@@AlfaGiuliaQV I definitely avoided some duds. Process worked quite well, ended up with a good one by end of the "interview period" and been with her for going on 19 years now. No kids, low body count, conservative, doesn't vote for left wing lunatics, cleans, does laundry, and is an excellent cook. Worked out well for me. Would encourage all men to make sure they set standards and stick to them.
@@brandongray1059 Wasn´t talking about you dude.
@@AlfaGiuliaQV Oh I know what you were doing. And I was making my point. Glad we got that settled.
As a man, I've been proposed to twice. On both occasions I said No.
I'm not inviting the government into my bed.
Thrice here. Avoided the insinuation entirely.
You got a marriage proposal from a government agency?
@andrasbiro3007 A marriage is not between two people. The government dictates the terms & conditions of marriage via the leagal system. I don't agree with being screwed over by family law if the marriage heads south.
@@SunRise-ul7ko
But did you say no to the entire relationship, or just the concept of marriage? That's a big difference.
Also just living together gives the other party may rights that marriage does.
@andrasbiro3007 I said NO to marriage & NO to cohabitation to both.
The first one whined so much that I eventually ended it.
The second one, I'm dating casually with no commitment. I may end that one soon as well.
This paradigm shift that you’re describing is what has made one of the biggest differences personally, which has led into changes in all other areas of my life. Thank you, Mr. Tariban
"a lot of you are acting like bosses while looking for a job." Best quote this year. Mic drop...
This is exactly the kind of content I have been wanting to see from someone with your understanding of relationship dynamics. Some positive actions I can take to navigate the dating marketplace as opposed to assessments of the risks (which are valuable too, but leave me with little to do about it). Thank you very much.
Instead of bathrobe Chad who is only interested in obtaining women but non maintaining being with them
NGL. I completely disagree with this video. In the vast majority of situations. Average guys are asking women for dates and box. Expecting women to start cold approaching, running game and paying for dates with men is delusional. Only Chad and Tyrone can manage this level of treatment. Most men will always be employees, i.e. they will need to beg the women/employer for box/money.
@@marriagecausesdivorce7540 It's counter intuitive but it's true confidence smells good and is attractive. Simping leads to creeping concessions, which leads to resentment, which leads to the darkside, sorry 🙂 , I mean termination of the relationship. Simping ultimately is a failed strategy.
@@marriagecausesdivorce7540 I think you misunderstood the video entirely. Maybe watch it again.
@@marriagecausesdivorce7540men are considered the prize in most of the world.
Once you start travelling you’ll see it’s the opposite everywhere else but western countries
The term "prized employee" comes to mind. The employer refers to the best employee with respect and awe and doesnt want them to leave. The employee refers to "dream job" etc.
The timing for this video is impeccable. I, being a 21 year old male would enjoy to spend time with anything that has two legs; I am realizing that isn’t a plausible way about vetting a proper woman for me. I love your videos man, thank you deeply.
A guy's .. "unit" has no conscience!
@@M0viLoveralthough I feel as if it’s the only one talking lol
The zoo (and the museum) has some "anything"-s with two legs. ☺ Enjoy! 🦩🦘🦖
Young King, use your 20s to build that compelling lifestyle and when you get to your high 20s/low 30s. If you do that right at that time you will have a lot more options dating women from mid to lower 20s.
Boy is that the truth bare and understandable …… kind of makes me want to turn back time ….. and redo things…. Orion you have a seriously great ability
Most of the time, average men are applying to work at "Physical Intimacy Inc" where the women is the CEO. Men are generally applying to just be the plumber because they want to lay pipe. The women will always be the CEO as she has IG, she has lots of DM's and options, and the family courts will give her the money, house and kids on divorce.
That's why modern women are undatable and not wife material
When the woman feels a tingling sensation between her legs during a live date (not watching ig pics or facetime), the man becomes the CEO and is hiring and bargaining.
@@tomaszsosnowski9279 Yes. Absolutely. Completely agree. My original comment was just in relation to the average guy. If Chad or Tyrone pulls up, they have all the leverage, and it is a completely different game (as described by Dr Taraban). However, Chadrone is the exception, rather than the rule.
The biggest difference between the average guys and the f-boys is mostly psychological. F-boys approach dating like the Doctor suggests (i.e. "You'd be lucky to work for me") because they have an understanding that most women don't have anything going on and that the male attractiveness bar is much lower than advertised. Average guys, on the other hand, pedalstilize women, even if he has money, largely due to his ignorance of the dating market and his own bargaining power within it.
Agree that not every guy is a Chad. Similarly, not every woman is an insta queen.
I am awestruck!!! WTF! My life has changed because of this channel. Thank you PROFESSOR!
I'm very happy being self employed.
Nice cope. I make 115k a year and am 6'2 and I still feel like offing myself from time to time due to my lack of success with women now in my late 30's.. You probably are way worse off than me, yet say you're happy and witching this video.. Lulz..Keep lying to yourself and Cope some more
Me too
For now. And by the time you change your mind, it will be too late.
The fact you’re watching this type of content says otherwise
@@Avogadros_number Nope. Understanding and rationalising what is happening in culture increases my happiness. I feel very lucky to live in a time in which the MSM can no longer gatekeep knowledge and information.
One of the most important videos I've ever watched on this website. THANK YOU!
this man is elite when it comes to dating dynamics. incredible. this video perfectly explains why boss babe attitudes are actually destroying a woman's relationship opportunities
As the easygoing independent playmate type of woman, I've found I have to be sure to stay in my own lane and play the position so to speak. If the man seems to be veering toward installing me as the happy housewife with the all responsibilities that entails, I have to set him straight that I am for fun and cuddles and conversation... and not for washing the dishes and shlepping the kids to band practice. So the woman has to be hyper aware of what she's applying for and check if the position being offered is one that she seeks.
Much respect to you for not pretending to offer more than you are willing to give. A lot of women will pretend to agree to more in fear of losing the current arrangement, and that never ends well. As you said, stay in your lane. Not everyone wants to be a housewife or a mother, and theres nothing wrong with saying "No" to a promotion which requires more responsibilities. This applies to men too. Don't offer more than you are willing to give out of fear for losing the current arrangement.
I'm aware of my role in the hiring process the only problem is I don't get that many applicants to the position.
This is the best comment. Men in general don't receive any job applications because we are not the employers. It's the women's inbox and DM's that are flooded with application. Women, like employers, are the selectors and have the power because they take the greater risks in pregnancy.
A role that requires a PhD and 10 years of experience that pays minimum wage isn't going to get many applicants.
@batisseur3360 Why do I have to own a company, why can't I genuinely just euthenize? Why are any of us forced to play a game we don't want to.
@@GeeBeanie Well then, let me go the way of the dodo. Let me drop out of the evolutionary competition that has no reward. There should be no societal pressure against suicide or euthenasia.
@GeeBeanie The "touch grass" like I have a hammock I spend time in and read, I drive my convertible around and my motorcycle, like grass is great, it's not a reason to live. Grass doesn't need someone to enjoy it to exist. If I have to keep this machine alive there needs to be some fulfillment that is presented. And none of it is fulfilling due to temporal limitations and how little control or influence you can develop towards anything in reality. I do touch grass and it definitly doesn't make me want to live.
Great Analysis.
My son will be watching this very soon 👍🏾
This is your best one yet. I've been doing this for years. Never understood why it worked. 😂
Amen to that. You are changing lives, Sir.
This might be meta, but really analyzing relationships for what they are and truly identifying the inherently transactional nature of them just makes me less interested in being in one. I'm not saying the information is false or inaccurate; it's just once you come to realize and internalize all of this information you understand the following phrase much better - 'you can either love women or you can understand them, never both'.
Does anyone else here feel the same way?
I would agree, to an extent. This lens, this angle, though it gives great perspective and insight into the matter of things, could constrain your vision and hinder the possibilities of what a fulfilling engagement with an “employee” with the right skills and aptitude could bring to one’s company. Otherwise, I agree with you whole heartedly. We, the employers, just have to understand what we’d have to provide an employee, how to incentivize them, and what purpose or role do they serve in our business. I’ll be honest, thus far in my life as a young man, I’m just looking for entry-level, seasonal temp work. A wife or girlfriend would bankrupt me and I can’t afford it
To me it’s just another life challenge that can be contended with and enjoyed to some degree. Quitting doesn’t seem to be the best alternative because it might lead to some from of nihilism unless it’s done for religious purposes.
Yes. Its like friendships. People will stop being your friend if you are constantly negative and never add anything.
Personally, even if I have a family member like that I try to be around them as little as possible.
Of course. It makes complete sense that you feel that way. That's how you know the information doesn't make any sense, and it is, in fact, inaccurate. The actual truth does not discourage.
Truly understanding women enables you to love them, and it makes things easier. The people that say different are looking for validation for their limiting beliefs and cause discouragement as a result.
@@Leoo117 So what do you disagree with what Dr. Taraban stated?
Many women today have an over inflated ego accompanied by a dire sense of entilement. This is why its difficult to have a conversation with a woman that has 20 other other guys in her DM. typically employees compete for jobs but today the reverse has become the case as employers have to compete for employees. In the real world employers only compete for high skilled employees but in modern dating even the low skilled, ticking time bombs, liability "employees " have tons of employers competing to offer them employment .One of the biggest obstacles men encounter today in the realm of dating is simps masquerading as men, offering the world to women who wouldn't look twice in their direction.
Many? Try nearly all. And it extends up until 60 or so. It's so bad that even women in their 50s with multiple children from multiple baby daddies consider themselves and act like they have a higher SMV than a very pretty, slim 22 y/o netball player in the late 90s. Yet so many man feed their delusion.
The majority of "employers" competing for women are the ones they don't want to work for so we shouldn't be concerned about those. If you're Google or Facebook however, a low-value woman's job application doesn't even make it through the filter and gets auto-rejected, effectively making themselves invisible to you.
The only problem is most women do not bring anything to the table. They claim to be the table lol.
Most cannot fit the housewife role because they cannot cook and clean, cannot fit the playmate role because they lack the playfulness and banter skills, cannot fit the companion role because they mostly do not hold conversations well except gossiping, cannot fit even the friend role because most of them have attitude problems......
Instead they bring debt, kids from another man, negative energy, bad habits (smoking, drinking, social media addiction), lots of complains and shouting matches into the family. SMH how much women have fallen
If you're around a lot women, listen to what they talk about: gossip, gossip, gossip, TV, Netflix, TV, famerlee, gossip, and that's it. At my old place it was like that. I swear I used to lose brain cells listening to the verbal diarrhoea. I'm grateful that my outlet from that was my elderly female boss, as well as various visitors of both sexes, so we'd sit down and have good conversations about all sorts of topics. I used to be able to take that for granted in women I'd date or have an affair with. I've found that women generally over 60 have an ability for these conversation skills, but for the vast majority of women under that age, it's that list. And they expect you to talk to them in that manner. The last time I dated a woman around my age with whom I could have a decent conversation was back in 2008. There have been a few others since, but two turned out to be boss babes and marginally on the NPD scale, with the other two being full-out narcissists. A pity, as their conversational skills and intellect was superb. But in women, that seems to coincide with narcissistic personality disorder. It's a very pleasant experience to have a good conversation with a woman who knows how to hold a conversation, even if she's not your lover, and they don' t need to be academic, either. One of the best conversationalists I know left school at 16 with few qualifications, became a housewife soon after, has had no further education but likes to read. She's also a quick learner and will debate things with me intelligently and without resorting to a tantrum if her assumptions get challenged. Sadly, she's an exceptional rarity these days.
One woman I know used to stalk me for a long time and had an infatuation. On getting to know her, she admitted that she'd never read a book in her life, nor saw the need to. As you can guess, she's glued to her phone and forever taking selfies to stick on IG as thirst traps. I used to be able to take for granted in the 90s that I could meet and date/have an affair with a polished, well-behaved woman who knew to have a good conversation with me and others, who never complained, and didn't have an attitude. Women like that were the norm. I now struggle to find them. It's sad.
Use them for their holes? They give it away without marriage you know.
Thank you, thank you Dr. Orion!!!
As a woman in dating process, I don't like being bossy or feeling so vague while getting to know a stranger who's trying to find his compatible partner.
This content is helpful in Western dating scene (it's reversed in other part of the world that I've experienced).
And I'm going to send your video to the men I'm going on dates with, hopefully they'd meditate on this concept and refine the job/lifestyle requirements they want to share with a partner. The concept of a man inviting a woman into his life is empowering for that man and taking off pressure for the woman!!!
2nd thought, I'm still not sure if most men know who/what they're looking for same same as women 🤦♀
We are trying to get some of that good good
That’s if she’s applying to only one position. Usually it’s not. In that case, she will get many offers and the power dynamic switches again in her favor. There will be more competition, creating the offerers to provide more money, benefits, etc. Women are playing the long game too 😊
Many, but not all, companies will not hire you if they find out that you are simultaneously interviewing for a competitor. It's probably not rational but it happens and it does make sense for the top companies.
I agree-if the employee is very desirable, then it makes sense for multiple employers to chase her down with offers, as well. But still in that case, the employers are hopefully doing so with a full awareness of what traits and skills they are looking for, and they have confirmed that this applicant has what they're looking for-so it's not just chasing after a random pretty girl-it's still more of an informed and selective hiring process.
@@SmileyEmoji42 none of their business
@@pedridemperi9872 If they ask and you say "none of your business" that will not go well. That just leaves you with either telling the truth or trying to keep a straight face whilst lying (and obviously, if they think you are lying or even just being evasive, that wont go well either)
@@SmileyEmoji42 true but my underlying position is....if they have the sheer audacity to ask then find a different company. It's nosy controlling and over-reaching.
If it's a woman asking you about your financial affairs early on.....find another.
It's not true that the employer always has a higher ground than an employee. If an employee is high in demand and has 20 other job offers on a table, it is arguably the employee who has more leverage.
An employee with 20 offers is still looking for a job. By this very process, she admits that she can't give herself what she wants. On the other hand, a company in high demand receives thousands of applicants. One job makes more of a difference in the life of one employee than one employee makes for the life of one job.
But that's only because of desperate men who'll simp after any woman with a pulse.
@psychacks I get the point that you are making. It is probably true for most people seeking employment.
But there are a lot of cases with different power dynamics.
I think it is important to point it out because those cases extend into romantic relationships as well.
First obvious thing to point out, not all men are like "high demand job". Quite a lot of them are like part time job at McDonald's. Desperately need to fill vacancies by anyone who is not a drug addict visibly.
@@Bogdanko93 You're giving women WAY too much power. 90 percent of women do not have anywhere near the amount of options you're speaking of. I've met far more sexually frustrated women who went years without a date and are yearning for male companionship than woman who have 20 different men trying to take them out.
What's the over/under on the amount of months before Orion has 1 million subscribers?? With content this informative, grounded in reality, and actionable, my guess is 5-6 months. This man must be protected at all costs! We love ya Orion, keep doing God's work brotha!!
Well he’s already been on a couple of other podcasts so far and he seems to be getting about 3,000-5,000 new subs every several days. A few more podcast and he will get that million subscribers by Christmas.
He deserves more than a million. One of a kind brilliant.
You used this employer/employee analogy before. I like it. the analogy works.
It's also a good remainder on how woman views a relationship. Quiet quitting and monkey branching is part of the corporate world so you would be more active watching out for that within your employee then. 😁
Thank you for this presentation, Sir. This perspective has brought more clarity on my goals regarding mate choice. Continue sharing your knowledge with the world. You’re changing lives one click at a time.
Firstly, I have long seen the parallels between job interviews and dating. In fact, from the point of view of analysing how to do well in job interviews, I have uncomfortably discovered how all too similar that tricks in dating apply just as much to job interviews. 😐🧐
Secondly, you are absolutely right, Orion, in the fact men should (despite rarely actually doing) be thinking about what role(s) they want their potential woman to fill in their lives at the very beginning. 👏✌ And, if they considered the implied requirements of these roles with any solid thinking, they would be systematically making better choices with whom they date. The distinction you make between being a good mother and a good playmate is precisely a major confusion point for most unreflective men: As much as a sex siren is a luring fantasy, they don't make effective, long term, mothers or co-payers of a home mortgage. ☝🧐
Orion. Excellent video! You have a big future ahead of you.
@Te-legrem-on-PsycHacks1 what is it?!
Super great insight into how wrong most men has viewed the relationship dynamics. Unbelievable how the society has shaped men and women to act the way they do. Thanks Orion!!
Awesome channel, such a complete and analytical breakdown of dating dynamics in excellent analogies and well spoken eloquent dialogue. Well done
The trouble with the breakdown is that it is completely wrong. Men always have and always will need to apply to a women for a job. If the women accepts the man's proposal, she will pay him (give him physical intimacy). When the men/employee does not do his job, she will let him go (divorce). Women, like employers, have their inbox flooded with potential candidates. Only Chad and Tyrone have the ability to be employers and choose from a bunch of women.
Anyone else just tired of dating? I officially quit in 2023. I watch this stuff for entertainment. Stay single is best I believe.
Thank you, Orion. As a woman who desires a permanent position, this is a great reminder.
Wow, you drew several *wonderful* contrasts in this one! I loved them! Also, your Barbie/Ken model is SUPERB! Thank you!
This man is my favorite person on UA-cam! He speaks my truth and reality!
The key is to make yourself an attractive employer. Google gets hundreds of thousands of applicants every year while your local restaurant struggles to get staff, they’re practically “walk in and start working” establishments.
That's right--an attractive employer gets the highest quality applicants. I worked for a small high tech startup in Marina del Rey (nice part of L.A.) They got tons of resumes from Ivy League grads and took only the top tier. It was amazing to work with that level of employee. As one of my older co-workers put it, "You tell these kids once to do something--and it's done!"
"Just become a Chad, lol".
Wow, a paradigm shift to dating. Never look at it this way. A really unique POV.
You probably never looked at it this way because this POV is not real. In reality, men are not going to be receive job applications from women in their DM's. How many job applications have you ever received from women? Women are generally not going to apply to be with a man (unless he is Chad or Tyrone). This is basic evolutionary biology. As women take greater pregnancy risks, they need to carefully vet, interview and select their man, just like an employer would. If the employee (i.e. man) passes the interview (i.e. the dates), he will receive a salary (i.e. physical intimacy). This video will just cause more people to be single because now both parties are being picky (not just the women).
That's how I lately started approaching dating and results are much better
So true. I was about to marry a lovely woman in Bali and we started to have issues and I went to Bali because she told me she was quitting her job and would have time to reconcile. She didn't quit and actually took another job and I spent two months seeing her once a week for a night. Even for my birthday, she told me she had to check with her new boss to see if she could get off. I told her to just marry him and left and now live in Thailand. Happy without the drama.
I watch alot of redpill shit but your perspective is so unique, i appreciate your content!
The practical advice and explanations on this channel are leagues above any redpill manosphere dating advice I've seen.
This might be your best analysis and one that every man should listen too. Accurate and real perspective for all men. Bravo 👏
Dating and much more so marriage increasingly seem like a job that costs more than it pays.
Such a great comment because its so true. I left my UK marriage with much less than what I started with and put in. My wife got 70% of all the money and assets, the house and custody of our son. I just got 30% and visitation.
The juice isn't worth the squeeze. Plain and simple
Dating is not that expensive. Ever gone on a picnic?
@@-whackd yes and no, that depends on the girl and local conditions. Living in Toronto, one of the most expensive cities in North America the expectations might be higher but maybe not. She'd probably want to go to fancy expensive resos
@@-whackd Monetary expenses are only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the costs of dealing with modern women. The costs in time, intellect, and psyche often greatly outweigh the cash a man spends.
This is the most powerful video you have done so far. The whole dating game is female centric. The statistics confirm ‘the tail wags the dog’ ie women hold unbelievable power over desperate simping men. And we all know what power does to people, it does nt make them very nice. It's so true women offer very little beyond sex, which, when ultimately withdrawn, means they become a liability, or a ‘ball and chain’! or 'trouble & strife' as they say in East London.
It's been over 20 years since I met a woman who I felt could improve my life, and if I met someone like her today I'd again feel she could improve my life. All the rest have only had one thing they could offer to improve it, and a whole lot of liabilities that came with it. I value women as I did back in the 90s, which means I refuse to entertain their delusions of the SMV they think they have. I just shake my head. Because I refuse to go along with their delusions and refuse to simp, they quickly go off me and they switch to one of the many men who orbit them and willingly simp. These women look at me as if I'm odd because I don't recognise this woman for the Goddess she thinks she is.
Bro, this is probably the worst video. Men are not going to be receiving job applications from women in their DM's. How many job applications have you ever received from women? Women are generally not going to apply to be with a man (unless he is Chad or Tyrone). This is basic evolutionary biology. As women take greater pregnancy risks, they need to carefully vet, interview and select their man, just like an employer would. If the employee (i.e. man) passes the interview (i.e. the dates), he will receive a salary (i.e. physical intimacy). This video will just cause more people to be single because now both parties are being picky (not just the women).
@@marriagecausesdivorce7540 you agree men need more power in the relationship surely?? Power corrupts it makes women choose only the Chad and Tyrone’s leaving the rest of us grovelling for scraps from the table and giving us poor quality women who mentally abuse us. Anything which addresses this gross imbalance is my friend
@@andrewcolleypropertiesreal1941 this video doesn't give men more power. it is just telling men to be more picky and selective and strict. it will only serve to ensure more people are single as both sides become picky and selective (rather than just women).
@@marriagecausesdivorce7540 Then your strategy is to be weak, accept women who are abusive and controlling, fat and ugly? Yes that's EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE SAYING! Maybe being subserviant to women is your strategy but believe me if you treat them as a superstar they will treat you as a fan.
It is two way street and not one is employer and the other is employee. Both sexes are interviewer and interviewer. Set your criteria and find someone competent to yours - that is the key.
Very interesting and real video. This is exactly how I view dating as. It’s crazy how many parallels there are between dating and the job market. My current SO has many qualities that I am looking for (kind, nurturing, good relationship with parents, takes care of herself). So I decided to get into a relationship with her (hire her). However I’ve also gotten other girls numbers (resumes imo) if she ever slips up, but so far it’s been great. I always choose from a position of power. If she keeps up the great work, I might even promote her and have children with her lol
This is the right attitude!
@@sparshrastogi2646 🙏🙏🙏
It does make sense. Although I would point out that the type of dating depends on age. The youngest men 17-23 are getting the best women despite the fact that they may not even have a job.
Some gem of advice again, Thank you
fascinating explanation Dr Orion. thank you
There is no escaping the reality that, in dating as in applying for work, the party with more bargaining power can effectively dictate terms. That could be the man or the woman in any particular case -- and the clip is valuable here for reminding timid men that there is no a priori reason to assume the woman is the more powerful one -- but to claim that women "should not" act like the boss is to misrepresent reality in a way that will ultimately disappoint men who buy into it. After all, what will actually happen if a woman who many men find highly desirable "acts like a boss" on a date towards a man who few women find desirable? If he objects, she will likely find another man soon who won't -- and unless you think that people should be compelled to date people against their will, this is as it should be. (The same is true with any combination of sexes of the two people involved.)
9:20 The applicant does not dictate get to create her role and set her compensation’ best advice ever.
Gentlemen, go to the gym, read books, get the best job you can, and build a life. Then find a woman who compliments it.
Dr Orion is right. Whenever I had any interactions with men (not necessarily romantic ones), I always have this aftertaste of confusion when talking to men who don’t know what they want. Whether in a partner or in life in general. There is nothing better than a man who knows himself and what he needs. These men always impress me even if our values and looks on life are different. They have this air of confidence around them that make me feel safe even though we just met and it’s not a date or a relationship.
As a future wife, I want these exact qualities in my husband. I want HIM to know HE needs a wife like me. I want to choose a husband from the men who already chosen me. I don’t want to waste time talking to men who are not sure what to do with their lives no matter how good they are. A man might have a wonderful personality but before he finds out who he is and what are his goals in life it’s better not even THINK about marriage.
'There is nothing better than a man who knows himself and what he needs' - yes, I know what you mean. There are also few things more distasteful when I meet men who have no principles, or who vary them according to who they're talking to, in an effort to not be ostracised by anyone they know. I used to see it all the time when I socialised. I held a respect for the men who were different from me politically, as long as they had that integrity of their beliefs and didn't vary them according to who he was around. A lot of men don't know what opinions they should hold, or even have no opinions at all, and don't know what values they have. That then leaks out into the rest of their lives. I get a bad taste in my mouth when I've been around them.
'fluentinoverthinking' yes, quite, can relate
If he is on the right track, make sure you get on board with his vision/direction for the relationship. Try not to let whatever needs or emotions you have (however legitimate) knock him off course and ruin the relationship. 👍
@@timothyrday1390 that’s right! Women should also know themselves and what they want, but not in a way “you are supposed to give me that”, but rather “I see this man’s life and goals are aligned with my values and vision, so I will follow him and we’ll share it”.
Men might own the recruitment process but they are more like small businesses trying to hire in a depleted market where the average candidates have an overly high esteem of themselves and compete to work for fancy giants like Google and manage to collect small part time jobs there which reinforce their sensation of being important and sought after
Best video I've watched in so 🙌 made so much sense and I agree 100 per cent. All your videos are great. But this one made is gold.
Bro, this is probably the worst video. Men are not going to be receiving job applications from women in their DM's. How many job applications have you ever received from women? Women are generally not going to apply to be with a man (unless he is Chad or Tyrone). This is basic evolutionary biology. As women take greater pregnancy risks, they need to carefully vet, interview and select their man, just like an employer would. If the employee (i.e. man) passes the interview (i.e. the dates), he will receive a salary (i.e. physical intimacy). This video will just cause more people to be single because now both parties are being picky (not just the women).
Dr BoA is always preaching dealing with women from the boss position. Climb that mountain from which she will look up and feel nervous and uncertain about her prospects.
My Man ! ✊🏾
Genius reframe from the commonsense nonsense to the critical counterintuitive as always.
Very VERY important video to watch and understand! It’s beneficial for men and women to understand the dynamics of the dating game, this video helps men understand that they need solid ground and NETWORTH to attract women CONFIDENTLY, and help women how to market and represent themselves for a position of their choice.
"A lot of you are acting like bosses while looking for a job, and it's not a good look." 🤯
I would say, this IS one of the best videos of ALL TIME 🙂
I always thought of this idea...for politicians...who should i vote for? Whats their CV like etc...but for dating...thats such a great idea. Easily can implement this idea for my life. Thank you so much, Good Sir.
Problem is that if say a construction contractor hires a carpenter and then is not satisfied with work. The contractor is only obligated to pay the carpenter for the hours that he was on the job. The state does not get to come in and take half of the company and give it to the carpenter, plus permanent wage support.
BRAVO !!! Super analogy !!! 🎯🏆
Interesting perspectives on dating and another great video! Thank you!
Now I'm waiting for the video that compares male mate poaching to recruiting an employee from another company! 🤔
how beutifully you articulated this whole thing
I think this is very interesting but as a guy supreme confidence is needed to view this as being the interviewer. This conversation did make me think and relate to past experiences but again if a guy you are not confident on your "company" its difficult to "hire' people.
Fortune 500s and Mcdonalds both hire but the quality of the female applicant will be grossly different.
Cool video. I like the overarching ‘workplace’ analogies in all your content. As for the topic, modern men are overpaying under qualified women.
Wow this has changed my perspective on relationship
When I was in the dating scene back in the 1970's, I initially viewed dating as "entertainment". Going out to dinner with a female, go to a movie, etc stated out as simply entertainment, and I was in no way a "player". I was not looking for a wife or a full time live in companion or even interested in having children, marriage was not what I was looking for and was not looking for a commitment. Then it evolved to where I married a girl I found that I loved and we have been together for almost 48 years. I probably would have lasted being single much longer but she put her foot down and said if this relationship was not going anywhere she was going to date others. I suppose it was a "negotiation" of equals making accommodations toward each other:-) Well what I viewed as a search for "entertainment" I suppose subconsciously evolved as a "hiring search" or perhaps even a trial apprentice term where she was my apprentice, and I her apprentice.
Bravo and thank you, Orion! InteIIigent, strong and weII agrumented voice for the men to be strong men again, men in controI for their perosnaI Iife and their destiny.
Supply and demand. Workers that have rare skills can be petulant or demanding in the hiring process. Top women have the same power over most men.
A date is the only job interview, where the employer applies and the employee hires.
Except even with an actual job, you should be vetting the employer, not just automatically taking any job offered to you.
The entire point of this video is rhat your need to flip the script.
I mean, I view the first dates as recruiters reaching out on linkedin. Give some compliments, make them feel good, figure out if it's a good fit, etc.
Agree!! It must and should always be the men to propse.
While i understand this position that could bring more confidence to men in how they approach women, i don't think it is that realistic in this society because we all know an employer is the one that gives one precious thing (money - sex) for the work that encompass way more things that have to be done in order to receive that. So, generally speaking men are focused on the sex which for women is cheap to offer in the sense there is no effort in doing so, it has to just accept that it has to happen, while the work to get that for men includes a list of more or less infinite things to be done now, in the present, but also in the medium and long term future. So, the imbalance of effort is clearly towards men to be hired in a long-term job while they will be remunerated with sex. The flipped version was when women really needed man for their survival, like 99% of the rest of our history, but you can't go back to that precise power dynamic because women do not have any worry of their tomorrow existence like it was and unless we really fuck up this planet, we will never go back to that times(fortunately). Either way, to my opinion women right now are in the position of the employer like they have never been, and that because men decided to do so, as in the natural order of things, women could never have took this power from men for the obvious differences between genders. In closure, i would say Nice Try, Orion to put men into a position of power, because at the end of the day both genders need something from the other and men should have this in mind, but at the end of the day women are definitely the employer that may and will change their employees with ease, as statistics already are saying it.
I only hire Temps 😅
Dude I have been trying to explain this to my friends... I call it self worth... It's not competition
You are right on time with how your content aligns with my life 3/3 on the last 3 videos.
The problem is that the women actually act like they're the ones hiring, and that's because in 2023 they currently are in a market position where there are (speaking by analogy) on one end a few top companies that can offer great salary packages and hire many employees at will and at the other end there are many many companies that can't offer the same benefits the top companies offer. So the employees all want to work in the same few top companies and they can choose to do so. Bottom line: you gotta become a big company that is able to stand out if you want to choose who you hire.
Excellent paradigm. Keep up the great work, Dr!
Alright, you earned my subscription with this one. All facts, great reframe.
What a lot of wisdom and common sense in just 10 minutes!
This is a helpful perspective to look at things through, its very easy to get caught up in the negativity and the ‘numbers are stacked against you’ but grounding yourself in this view would be good I reckon
Its not really helpful though is it. In reality, men are not going to be receive job applications from women in their DM's. How many job applications have you ever received from women? Women are generally not going to apply to be with a man (unless he is Chad or Tyrone). This is basic evolutionary biology. As women take greater pregnancy risks, they need to carefully vet, interview and select their man, just like an employer would. If the employee (i.e. man) passes the interview, he will receive a salary (physical intimacy from the women). This video will just cause more people to be single because now both parties are being picky (not just the women).
I'd like to hear more about "building a lifestyle."
Thanks, doc. It's a nice reminder.
This is why dating kills romance and love. Love is like being hit by a force. It is not a reflective process for the man especially. There is no way to reason yourself into love. Dating prevents the natural process of a man falling in love with a woman based on his intuition, his sixth sense, from leading him to pursue the woman with whom he instinctively feels is his mate. Men's intuitions on who is a kindred spirit are almost always correct.
Women's natural draw to men does require stopping and reflecting since women invariably are drawn to the wrong men. Women should not go by their feelings entirely as the man should since they are viscerally drawn to men who are very different biologically. The biological differences also are reflected in very different temperaments, which are inborn. This makes for healthy children and a more evenly balanced population but as Arthur Schopenhauer correctly observed, "What makes for healthy children also makes for unhappy parents." This is so because similarity and compatibly are more likely to breed contented relationships than diversity and too much complementarity. While there are exceptions, opposites attracting is more likely to lead to a lack of understanding, cooperation and caring for each other over time. In contrast, men are more likely to go for highly assortative mating. Since the increase in highly assortative mating, the divorce rate has dropped.
Women are also drawn to men who are either mean or troubled. See studies where men and women pick out photos of models with varying facial expressions. Men select happy, smiling women. Women reject happy, smiling men. This is a disaster waiting to happen.
For these reasons, it is best for men to do the selecting, not women. And usually men are the ones to fall first and then go for the girl and then the girl responds to the man's overtures.
Great advice! I have had my BEST results when I used this mindset!