Most people DON'T WANT RELATIONSHIPS: understanding the decline in romantic relationships
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- Опубліковано 2 лип 2023
- The rates of sex and marriage -- especially among young adults -- have fallen to historically unprecedented lows and show no signs of stopping. Why is this happening? My theory is that most people don't really want relationships. Rather: they want what relationships can get them. And if they can get those things more easily, more cheaply, and more safely in other places than relationships, they will do so. In this episode, I make a case that this is precisely what men and women are doing, albeit in different ways.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#relationship #psychology #dating
The rates of sex and marriage -- especially among young adults -- have fallen to historically unprecedented lows and show no signs of stopping. Why is this happening? My theory is that most people don't really want relationships. Rather: they want what relationships can get them. And if they can get those things more easily, more cheaply, and more safely in other places than relationships, they will do so. In this episode, I make a case that this is precisely what men and women are doing, albeit in different ways.
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LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/
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Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com
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Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com.
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Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com
Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#relationship #psychology #dating
Women still don't understand the biggest problem with sexualising yourself and/or doing Onlyfans. It destroys the vast majority of opportunities they will have for future relationships. Men will want them for sex, not for relationships and in particular, the men THEY want (High value) will never be interested in them. They trade short term money for any chance of relationship happiness.
You missed the legal issues.
I’m 52 and most of the 20 and 30 something year olds I know are experimenting with poly relationships. Eventually most realize the pitfalls and or the women want to have children and things get real.
I think your theory is correct.
It is a generalisation, of course, as all psychosocial realities are.
But certainly your theory explains much of the decline in marital relationships between men and women.
They don’t want to be adults except to indulge in the additional personal freedoms that we previously granted people at 21 because those same people picked up the heavy burdens of starting the 15-20 years long process to become the tribe elders. Relationships are just one of many adult things that many people in this group do not want to start for another five or six years. Though I think the smartest and most capable members of their cohort jumped into adulting at 21 and get what is likely an insurmountable lead on their former peers, I agree it is a waste of time to worry why many people are not stretching for the race when they prefer to party in the stands.
You summed-up in 9 minutes what all the talk shows, relationship channels and the government can’t figure out. There’s nothing of value for either party in relationships anymore. We are truly a broken society.
There's plenty of value in them, just not here. The Western setup - i.e. women who think they're independent but really aren't, and survive thanks to a system built and maintained by men, and largely work in government or government-regulated fields e.g. education and healthcare + anti-male marriage laws - is not beneficial to men.
Bullshit, maybe if women offered something more “in a relationship” instead of being a net suck on so much from one man, in exchange just for what she was born with for free?? Most *single* women are single because they are SELFISH
Government is part of the problem thinking they can replace the biological father.
Society is replacing family, with distractions. There are many more options for single people to stay occupied with
Sad but true.
I wont lie, i just love being single, its so peaceful
My house is a temple of peace and tranquility. No woman no cry.
Same.
Bob Marley originally wanted to cheer a crying woman up there. He meant it like „no woman don’t cry“
Me too. BUT I think this only works after you have already been in a relationship. There are men in their 30s that have never been in one and can't understand why some men prefer to be alone.
I’m sure it was peaceful for our grandparents too…..cuz they weren’t afraid to put women in their place 😂❤
Most people also don't really want friendships anymore. They want someone to entertain them when they have time.
Yes, well observed. Too many including this channels host are hyper focused on one aspect of how are society has changed. People are terrible at relationships with everyone now.
There are too many factors that have led us to our current destination to have fools try and reduce it to some BS pseudo science junk is sad.
Exactly 💯% spot on Its sad people don't even want genuine friendship my 3 sisters n a cousin have became my best friends because all of us are going through the same things so it's brought us closer
Ye well the Internet solves this
truth
Friendships are similarly costly and risky because people are psychologically damaged and untrustworthy. Groups of women often use scapegoating and reputational damage as a matter of course - and women set the cultural and political tone these days. There is always a psychopath loose among the sheep. And people easily unfriend and unperson their so-called friends for the meager reasons. So pretty costly and risky to invest much in friendships.
Once upon a time I dreamt of love, companionship, just really sharing a deep connection with that special someone...I totally gave up because of stupid mind games, hookup culture and insincerity....being single is so much more peaceful
recalling scent of those days in spring may evoke kinda phantom pain, at times.
@@VaronPlateando And the truth is that It's we men who had those romantic ideals - women never did.
Romantic people have those ideals...empty narcissists don't. Both come in both s e x e s.
@@westmorelandgreasy348Women are way more romantic than men.
@@westmorelandgreasy348 No women or most women?
Not just relationships but generally, I often find myself thinking “there’s nothing for me, here.”
i dont want to spoil the party so ill gooo
If it sucks... hit da bricks!!
Yes , yes, thank you. " There's nothing for me here " The only thing most modern women bring to the table are a long list of their issues and problems and a list of their demands ( must be 6 foot , 6 inches, 6 figures). I think I will put the money I save from not dating and use it for a trip to Europe;)
@@martinbrewi7323 or Thailand
@@martinbrewi7323666 those devil women
Absolutely spot on. I'd also add that instead of wanting a relationship, too many people nowadays just want their own personal validation provider.. They want all of the perks of having partner without any of the sacrifice, compromise, self-improvement, and understanding the other person's needs. Not enough people truly know how to GIVE anymore, it's all "me, me, me"
A lot of folks just don't have enough love or energy inside them to give in the first place... lots of broken people out here, man.
Correct, and these days women aren’t interested in working on their relationships because social media has made men so abundant and easily replaceable. Taylor the Fiend tells a story about how a phone dropped by one reasonably attractive girl, age 21 with an SMV of about a 7 and not by any means a supermodel, had about 1,800 unread direct messages from different men. Why should girls work on sacrifice, compromise and understanding when they can ditch that man and get a new one in a matter of hours?
All 3 of these comments describe my experiences dating but Post-social media. Before social media become popular, I had much better dating experiences, including the few women I did meet online (the early days of online dating)
@@mrredactedthey definitely have more choices but it’s hard to find a genuine alpha man who is loyal, likable and a mentally stable. They usually realize too late that they can’t find another guy like that easily and that’s usually when they come crawling back.
This is where Ai companions come in. It's already shown some market penetration, but the big wave will hit soon.
We crave human connection and relationships but not with toxic and abusive people
When I was young, high School, University, all my male friends wanted a long term relationship. It's both shocking and not shocking that relationships are now not a primary goal. Shocking that this pretty much is the death knell of Western Civilization and not shocking that it's such a hazard financially, emotionally, and legally for a man to be in a long term relationship, not just a marriage, they would be insane to pursue such a thing.
Problem is that most people are toxic especially with age. It should be opposite gaining experience and not repeating the same mistakes. But reality is that with bad experiences comes the frustration and building the wall up. Which makes us defensive and therefore toxic.
@@reekinronald6776if I had a son I would tell him, keep your relationships short, civil, and have a well planned exit strategy from the relationships. Is during the break up people tent to act the craziest.
@@markomeker7789 who is toxic exactly? are you talking about women? be clear.
@@chuckiegravesfield3170 It can be with both genders naturally. My experiences are with women mostly since I'm male heterosexual. But also have experiences with male family members.
I've been in relationships throughout my 20's and into my early 40's.
I looked back at how my happiest and most productive years were
when I was single. The longer I stayed single, the happier I was.
Now I'm 55 and my mortgage is paid off, I run my own successful
business, I'm healthy and fit and life is very good. I credit that to
staying single and avoiding the stress of living up to someone
else's expectations of me while being in a relationship that I get
absolutely nothing out of.
Life is only as good as your life choices.
What kind of business do you have?
Relationships are hard work in most cases. It takes both parties giving it 100%, but oftentimes one party is giving more than the other-and not the same one every time. The unrelenting drama can be debilitating.
A relationship is best when both people believe they are getting the better deal, whether jobs, friends, married, etc. if they are hard work you are in the wrong relationship because you are not naturally doing things that provide value to the other person (and vice versa).
Most people don't wanna work for something of value these days. Everybody wants cheap thrills, cheap rewards and stuff.
@@dasfx2895It's not that most don't wanna work for it. It's that most don't see the point in pursuing something where the risks are the same or higher than the reward. Especially when that reward can be gotten or simulated in a safer and easier way.
Why would I go drive for an hour or hour and a half, wasting gas and risking my life a bit to get 2 or 3 items when I can just go on Amazon and have it delivered tomorrow?
One is bound by law and finance to keep it.....and one is bound by law and finance to break it.
@@toddjohnson271facts!
I don't watch porn and do not consider myself MGTOW or 'pilled' or whatever other trend. I am just tired of all these games people play in dating and relationships.
I offer my 6Fs (fit, friendly, financially stable, faithful, fertile, family-oriented) and expect the same in return.
Take it or leave it.
They only care about 1,5 of your Fs. Financially stable and fit(IF you look good as a result).
Assuming you are male, maybe she will take it for now. You get married, buy her a house, and have kids, and then she takes it all in divorce. OF and PHub and other online offerings have now over taken real life. Sad but true.
You don't watch porn...right. You don't masterbate either, right?
@@sxed4vid Doesn't change my approach.
Those are good qualities if the woman likes you for who you are. They generally dont fall in love because a guy is loyal.
Women want everything, but they dont fall specifically because you are loyal or family-oriented. A sad truth hard to swallow
People carry a lot of unresolved traumas that makes it difficult to build healthy connections, bonds, and a sense of trust.
Finally someone that is talking truths!!
I wish he would stop talking about all women as we are all after money. 😂😂🤦♀️🤦♀️. These UA-camrs are hillaious and they make people miserable because they’re too narcissistic to see that society needs healed not people breaking them even further down and how are men going to have a good perspective and outlook on life or how are they supposed to even grow with content like this?
This. I'm one of those people. When you've faced something traumatizing, you may not be able to trust anymore.
po lil fellas. They'd wilt like morning glories under the sort of stress that people had in the depression and WW2.
I have never wanted romantic partnership, I never had the desire for marriage either.
I really think they been pushing that narrative for way to long
I felt that way since middle school, but to be fair I think I have a little autism and was never super interested in relationships in general with other people for a good portion of my life
@@nightfighter7452 Same
Wow, the first time I can hear a real explanation of how social media is a horrible trap for so many women. And for us all...
Thank you !
first time? have you been living under a rock?
Crazy part is it’s still there to exist while we all know it’s destroying society
@@firestick4991 well, at least you're trying to learn to read, gotta start somewhere.
social media is designed around this fact: women make up 80% of the consumer base in this country (75% of the personal debt).
social media is pushed to women to generate business... to get women to buy! that's why there are sooo many ads on social media platforms and it's also why if you (man or woman) say ANYTHING critical of women, you're banned on most platforms. iow, women HAVE TO REMAIN in a positive environment online.
a negative or critical environment, where women face life's realities, where female nature is on full display, etc., will run women away... and the $$$ will go with them.
FB, IG, and dating apps have always been about $$$... nothing more, nothing less.
I would be careful about misinterpreting his use of the word "trap." I don't think he's implying that the "simulated" transaction is inherently less valuable, since the overall value of a thing is a calculation based on both reward and RISK. When he says it's "enough", I don't think he means it's "less". He means it's sufficient to render the reduction in risk to be an overall better transaction.
Online is over taking real life. Hence Amazon (rather than stores), Google (rather than libraries), OF (rather than divorce), work from home (rather than offices). Kids who have seen their moms struggle as single moms and/or dad getting financially destroyed in divorce/ child support/ custody, are growing up and opting out of this BS.
*Arthur Schopenhauer intensifies*
Lol that username though
what is OF=?
@@eladbari Onlyfans
@@eladbari OnlyFans (self-made p0rn)
I'm a loner and I love being single. From what I've seen and experienced, the majority of Men and Women seem to be good at betraying and deceiving each other. I'd rather be alone then go through that.
Yeah I’m experiencing that right now. I’m with a man who deceives and lies constantly and I’ve had it, I want out. I’m giving everything to be with this guy and if I pull back and give what he does, he just disappears. I want out of it now. I keep praying for a God-fearing man but it doesnt happen because there aren’t many men who lead a life of faith. I’m ready to just throw in the towel and enjoy the quietness of being single and just serving the Lord.
I like the peace and freedom of Not having a serious relationship
Every day I wake up, I regret social media, the internet and all of the mechanisms that facilitate this paradigm.
How YOU regret them? YOU didn't invent them...
I can do without sex. I just want to find someone who will stick around in my life this time. I just can't stand the process of meeting new girls, getting to know each other, sometimes falling in love, and then poof, they are gone again. I want someone to hug and to get the inside jokes and to be able to rely on.
Be a man and stop wanting these things. Women can sense how thirsty you are for affection. Just be cool and let things happen naturally
@@pantsonfire2216he can want them, he just can’t be controlled by those desires ❤
@@pantsonfire2216I swear dude sounds like a woman. You gotta find your purpose in life then you’ll stop desiring these things
Basic human needs. Hard to find.
Western Women are not attracted to men who rely on them, they consider that to be needy
Everyone's bemoaning this state of affairs as if relationships always used to be great and we're just too lazy to bother these days. I remember seeing my grandparents relationship and finding it depressing even as a small child. My parents spent a lot of time shouting at each other, even though we had some good times too, but in the end my dad left for someone else and has had a completely miserable relationship for the last 30 years. My own limited experience has been extremely lacklustre. People are doing what's rational, the same people that maintained what I'm sure were often very unhealthy relationships in the past would act precisely the same as the people rejecting relationships today given the same circumstances. People are just people. If people are rejecting relationships it's very likely because in fact most relationships suck and it's a good thing there are less of them.
Someone who speaks truth. People mostly hate one another and stayed together in the past because they had to. Good relationships have always been rare but today's fools like to pretend there was some golden era, there never was.
If we want a better world there has to be better people full stop.
My grandparents don't even love or like each other they are just in a legal marriage that's lasted over 25 years
Yeah, no. Healthy children require stable families. This entire "umm actually relationships were also bad" is cringe nihilism. When birth rates in developed nations are looking like our entire species is headed for extinction after first ballooning to billions then clearly something has changed rather recently.
"Take my wife... please, take her." That was 50 years ago.
100 years ago, women's role was so different in a relationship it bears absolutely zero resemblance to today's "fulfill me completely daddy" passenger princess fantasy. Women provided value in relationships, and men provided survival. Both sexes were more valuable to each other then, and yet both expected less. The Hollywood "best friend and lover" standard raised people's expectations to insane places. In the early 1900's, men and women were happy just to survive and have a few kids. So relationships DIDN'T suck as much as now, but only because we didn't expect too much of them. In other words, they also kind of did suck, but only because today's standards are a terrible way to judge them
@@tomryan9827 very well put. I concur completely. We just don't really need each other any more, technology does most of the work, so there's less room for satisfaction or gratitude, and yet we expect more than ever. Gotta keep reminding myself that now I find myself drawn back to my simping ways with a particularly hot chick I've got dominating my mind.
I think this is true. Online dating is also making it easier to have quick gratification without a relationship
It's only true to an extent, for certain people and at certain times. Otherwise its excessively reductive and mechanistic. Ultimately, humans seek holistic intimacy, mutual support and family building. If you have difficulty finding good women within your social environment, you might try looking outside of it to more-Conservative groups at home or abroad.
This is a very long way to say what I determined a long time ago. Currently, men and women don’t NEED each other. They may want each other sometimes, but without need, it does not seem to work.
Exactly. Want works for a minority of people. Turns out the majority of those happy couples of prior generations were based on need.
Not only is there not the NEED there used to be (male breadwinner needs female housekeeper - the now seemingly archaic gender roles, at least in Western culture), but there is also now not the societal pressure/coersion for marriage or even just being in a relationship that there used to be. No need and no pressure. Well, a bit of pressure, perhaps, in working class circles, which still breed like rabbits but thats a different subject. Sorry to bring class into it, anyone who is working class.
We still do need each other, and we always will. There is an inherent and irreplaceable value in organic human connection and it’s fulfilling in a way that these new technological imitations can’t replicate. It’s like taking a placebo instead of the real medicine or eating junk food instead of your fruits and veg - it might feel better than the real thing in the short run but make no mistake, it will kill you.
That's too broad of a generalisation. If you look within the correct milieu you will find men and women who still value traditional family and relationships. You need to seek out Conservative individuals who are more likely to place a higher value on traditional relationships than their more "liberal" counterparts. You could even look abroad.
@@emotown1so working class people shouldn’t have kids ?
I just want love, man. I don't need sex or a meaningless relationship status to be happy, I never have. Even after all this time I've avoided both, because emotional closeness and genuine love is all I really need from a woman, and after all this time I still haven't found what I'm looking for.
You can call it high standards, but if I honestly can remain happy throughout my life without it, as I have been so far, why settle?
I'd look towards finding a partner you can trust, rely on and who is a genuinely good natured person and then learning to love her, rather than looking for something magical that may never come around. Ultimately we have a finite amount of time to reproduce and if we spend too much time looking for an ideal instead of something almost as good we may find we have missed an opportunity for happiness and fulfilment. Don't make the good the enemy of the perfect. Look for good, humble, trustworthy women.
Focus on verifiable actionables - care, reciprocate, be responsible and not hurt, with basics of trust and loyalty = and if both are normal people and not a fraudster or one with an agenda, they will settle into each other and "grow to love each other".
Do not focus solely on emotional "i love you" which is easy to throw around, requires no effort, is always indirect and verifiable only by "entering your heart or mind". Do not buy into what romantic literature or movies try to sell
good luck convincing a woman of that
Women don't love men they love children. You are better off trying to find the type of love your talking about from male friends, men love that way and women don't unless its there child.
@@treeforged9097 somebody pin this comment to youtube headquarters
Nowadays, a "relationship" is nothing but a business partnership.
Always has been.
@@godnyx117This!
The fact that we've reduced our relationships, and not just our romantic, to "transaction opportunities" is, in itself, rather the problem.
But they are, whether you call it that or not. Unless you do one night stands.
@@user-d8yj0 So what is a relationship? Why do two people get together?
Exactly, sex is not about getting my jollies in return for paying her groceries it was about a deeper connection with someone I love , that's what made the sex so good, sadly she's passed away so I've been single ever since.
@@user-9pyk-uktcv Relationships actually ARE transactional. And this doesn’t have to be regarded in a negative aspect. No matter what it the context of the relationship is; platonic, romantic, sexual, or business, without an exchange of even simply the care, desire/willingness to connect, their wouldn’t be a relationship. A conversation is made because people exchange words and perspectives. A romantic relationship is made because people are attracted to one another and in that exchange of attraction, they exchange being attracted to someone with feeling attracted by the other!! Through this exchange of attraction, a bond of togetherness develops, and so does the willingness to have and hold strong feelings for each other. We both get to feel loved in exchange for loving each other. You get to feel loved for loving me, and I get to feel loved for loving you. And love is most measured by how we treat each other through our actions. To treat someone well is to act in their best interests and increase the likelihood of them to act in your best interests which increases the likelihood of a positive and healthy relationship. Relationships thrive or simply fail due to one way or another the TRANSACTIONS (actions/treatment) either reflecting a good measure of you acting in alignment with my best interests and me acting in alignment with yours best interests and ultimately both of our needs and desires are being satiated.
Romance isn’t real. It was invented by poor men in the 18th century in France as a strategy to acquire the attention of women. It hasn’t ever really worked. Women always go where the most resources are available.
"It would never leave him, and it would never hurt him, never shout at him, or get drunk and hit him, or say it was too busy to spend time with him. It would always be there. In an insane world, it was the sanest choice." Sarah Connor
Robot dads for women and sexbots for men.
Great use of this quote. Sarah was thinking of her son, of course, but for herself... well, probably not enough bad-boy drama and emotional spikes. ;)
So prophetic 🦾🤖
AI girlfriends will soon offer men this. AI boyfriends for women will not work since they dont provide women with money, a servant, or someone to protect her and make her feeeeeel safe. Men dont need that stuff!
@@whenpigsfly8178gross
You will never convince me that porn is the reason men are less willing to pursue relationships. Men have seen what women have to offer in the modern days and it is severely lacking and not worth the effort that is demanded of them.
Spot on, porn isnt the cause its the symptom. Most modern women want a man at the finish line and anything less deserves her scorn and abandonment when a better deal walks in her life. Its sad because loyalty and provisions from men is earned not GIVEN. Women need to earn this by being with a man when he is of lower value, otherwise if the man can become a higher value man in his 30s hes far to cynical to even try let alone give them loyalty and provisions.
Ive seen this in myself, women in my early 20s cheated for the better deal monkey branched to a new guy with something better than i. So what did i do i decided to cut off dating and gained a high paying career with stable growth. Now that i am in my early 30s I have less desire to deal with womens bullshit and i am less willing to give them time and attention.
I agree with you. I think one clear effect corn has on men is that it makes men more distrusting of women. Now that so many women are willing to do that on screen, men are worried if their partner has done that in the past, whether she's promiscuous of not, whether she's capable of being loyal.
Men are being Divorce Raped in the family courts. Social media is educating young men on this. MGTOW and Red Pill web sites are encouraging men to avoid relationships with women. Men are learning to focus on themselves and women are panicking.
Agreed but porn is a great cope we did not have before.
@@josephang9927 we also didn't have as many other dating problems as before
Accepting I'll probably never get married, never have children, be alone for decades and die alone rotten in an appartment was the hardest and still is... but I had to accept it to continue my life. Cope only stays if you still have hope.
yikes
Have you tried taking real steps to meet someone? Assuming that is what you want
Things could be worse.
@@rpmx9699it's a very tough market out there when 90% of the time the females swipe left.
Sure, there are some people who have the gift of gab and get what they want but the vast majority have neither the talent nor the training or guidance and aren't getting anywhere
@@rpmx9699 No he didn't. The first step is to understand that you don't "have" to live a specific way but you can choose how you want to live. OP has to understand that first.
You hit the nail on the head when you talked about jobs--that is exactly what is happening right now in the workplace. People are finding alternate ways of making money. And you are right about most people not really wanting relationships--because they can get what they want in other ways. This creates a BIG problem for those of us who do want relationships and marriage, one that is not being addressed. I hear all the time about how marriage is good for you and that it is the path to success, but not one word about how to go about finding that quality person who has the character and values to make a good spouse, when said persons are in very short supply. So those of us who do believe in marriage and are looking for a partner who feels the same way are in a sense being set up for failure. If people aren't interested in relationships, you can't wave a magic wand and make them interested. And the ones who do want relationships may have to learn to do without--or change their values. Just like in the workforce--if nobody is interested in doing a particular job, it just doesn't get done and society will have to learn to do with less or do without entirely.
Yup, there’s no reason to do anything, really. If we can’t even simply meet/talk to/date anyone (decent) from the opposite gender, what’s the point of anything?! I’m moving to another country to find someone I can rely on for a long term relationship - that is absolutely pathetic.. but it’s my last resort unfortunately.
I like my job, I get to feel productive and competent, I push myself to learn new things, I'm challenged and feel useful. His advice is really bad, being lazy will lead you to being depressed.
I don't believe that unless for some very stubborn and stupid people who are probably afraid, there are people who don't want a relationship. And I don't believe that people are in short supply. It's just that there is less socialization so we think that there are fewer people, but if anything, there are 7 billion people around the world. There are millions in your country and thousands in your city. Even if you don't want to go and meet people outside your city, you have a lot of people to meet.
The problem for most of us (including myself) is becoming social and learning how to talk to stranger. Once you learn how to talk with strangers and how to try to ask people out, you'll be able to always have friends/partners.
@@bu5761 It's not pathetic, it's stupid! The "grass is not greener in the other side" is one of the truest and important proverbs out there!
Even if you find it, it isn't anything you wouldn't have found in your country.
@@cevanille1104 Who's advice? I'm sorry but I don't understand..
Relationships aren't really for men or women, they're for children. And since children are disproportionately burdensome on women, women have typically sought to secure a man's resources (time, attention, energy, money). So as more women have jumped on the childfree train, delayed motherhood, or prepared for the chance of single motherhood, fewer have relied on hetero relationships to secure those resources.
This thought process makes sense but at the same time is very toxic for society. Humans by nature are not meant to be without a partner. We can see this in the skyrocketing depression rates and suicide rates. Overall I don't think that people want to be alone. I also think that women would prefer not to work and prefer to be cared for and provided for. Yes, people don't need each other now, but as people stay apart in their late 20s and 30s they realize solitude is not ideal.
Interesting We all notice how women replace kids with endless pillows, hollow trends, cats and so on ha ha. But it maybe that they also deal with men in the sane way because of that.
As far as being child free is concerned, women are at liberty to do whatever they want in my view. As soon as they have a child however, they should be held to a higher standard. The indirect misuse of men to pay the tax burden of single motherhood is scandalous. And the denial of a full time father figure to a child is an outrage. Frankly it's abuse.
@@sammyb1651 indeed. Great post. Even a good chunk of women agree with this. Yet laws and "family courts" continue the downfall of our civilization. They have made it stupid for men to marry and have families. WTH. What can be done to change this?
😒 great more people to be jealous of relationships and trying to spoil it
This is a good video especially when you talk about how men are afraid of the risk. I hope women understand that if a man is hesitant in investing financially into a woman (whether it's paying for dates, dinners, marriage, etc.), it's not necessarily because he's cheap or stingy but because of the financial risk that's involved. In an alternate universe where I am offered an absolute guarantee that the love of my life will stay with me forever but this guarantee costs me more than half my net worth, I will take this offer without hesitation and without skipping a beat . But since in our reality, the risk is too high, which forces me to be more prudent with my finances, I am accused of being cheap and stingy by women. I also hope women understand that if they want men to spend money on them then they need to find ways to make a man feel secure about his finances and this could mean making the man feel like you're not a leech.
💯
As a woman I appreciate that you're seeking the love of your life, you're a breath of fresh air. i wish you to find her.
Well said
They'll never get this because wont appreciate something they dont need to sacrifice for, or recieve for granted
Thing is, Chad didn't even have to take her out on a date to get some pussy lol
Wow. You made me figure out the true nature of my parents’ marriage. On the other side you nailed it when you say: “no one really wants a job. They want a job because of what a job can give them, namely money. They don’t really want the job, they want the money”. In some romance languages like French and Spanish the word to designate a job has its etymology on the latin word “tripalium”, an instrument of torture the Romans used with slaves. There’s no more to be said.
Tripalium?
Trabajo?
In Hellenic, the term Job is "Δουλειά" which is literally the SAME EXACT word for slavery with the tone in the previous syllable ("Δουλεία").
Like you said, no need for more words...
@@godnyx117 Thanks a lot! I didn't know that - my Greek is limited to ancient philosophical concepts due to my studies - and I love classical etymologies.
@@elsaaforges I'm glad you enjoyed it! It's my pleasure to share knowledge! Have a lovely day!
I’m too tired. I’m 55, raised my kids, and I’ve tried dating. No thank you. I have grandbabies on the way. Saving my energy for them. I’m grateful my sons have married well. I’m praying for my daughter. I’m worried for what she will have to face.
What a sad world we live in. We (most people) usually understand these new technologies too late I'd say... myself included.
@@michaelhowington4205the essence of being a human is slowly being lost bit by bit just because of technological advancements.
Techonology doesnt encourage us to go outside our comfort zone which inherently leads to such cases being a thing these days. Birth rates are already the lowest they've ever been, so such news only make the situation worse. There are so many factors that have led to lower birth rates and this one is a big one
@@michaelhowington4205 because humans have existed for millions of years, onlyfans and facebook have only been around for a brief moment in comparison. To think humans can change biological drives due to a glowing screen pressed on their faces is delusional at best
The world is changing at a much faster rate than the human mind / body can fathom. It's an important skill to learn to reflect on the changes happening and their consequences, and make deliberate adjustments in lifestyle to ensure sustainability.
The government in tandem with leading feminists and schools havw spent decades convincing young women that they can only find meaning in careers. Serving corporations, paying taxes to the government and becoming good little consumers. All this with additional, distinctly anti-male messaging. Should women only focus on being wives/mothers? Of course not, but convincing them that a meaningful life only comes from a career is a terrible, terrible lie. Careers are rarely meaningful, and employees are easily replaced. I've seen people pour 30+ years into organizations, not have families, not take vacations, etc. They retire, are replaced within a week and never mentioned again, haha. Such a rewarding, meaningful life...creating wealth and trading labor to people who could care less about you.
Yep. And you delete social media (like me) and get judged for it.
I think this depends on what stage you are it in your life. As a divorced man in my 50’s with 2 adult children, I value connection, partnership and intimacy more than just sex itself. I think women who are in a similar life stage probably feel the same.
He is projecting a flawed theory onto a complex set of symptoms without understanding the underlying causes.
Yep that’s true, I’m about to turn 50, divorced coparenting a 15 year old son..he gets to see his dad and I have a great time as friends who love him. I think that’ll help him. As for me I’m an environmentalist so this talk of resource extraction sounds like the fractional reserve system we live in (why I live in the jungles of Maui) 🥴
@@UnMoored_ What are the underlying causes ?
@@SarcasticSplendor How does a child raise itself if the family it is born into is illprepared, stressed, immature, and defended against their own pain so that they are desensitized to the child’s experience when required? I am not referring to any horrific situation, which would eventually end up on the news, just people who are compromised and struggle to respond naturally to their child’s needs. It is not about evil, or bad people, and they don’t necessarily need to be poor either.
EDIT: I just remembered a young female mother, I was aware of in the French part of Switzerland, who spent quite a bit of time going out on social evenings, due to depression, and her child would stand up in his crib with his arms open towards her when she would leave, and indicate that he wanted to be close to her. She did have a babysitter to physically care for the child, but she would still leave, and he would be lonely for her love and attention. This compromised his growing up years but it was not abusive, nor traumatizing as we would normally think.
💯 agree, it depends on the stage ur at in life. I’m 37 & find that I’m more compatible with men in their 50’s. They usually been there done that & now at a more mature stage in life, where they value the women as a whole (& not just sex).
This was my paradigm toward relationships until I got a little older and wanted to raise a family. Once that becomes your focus, the calculus changes dramatically. Once you have a mutual set of biological investments who profoundly benefit from your monogamous relationship, it becomes more win win.
Except divorce rates are also at over 60 percent I believe.
Yeah good luck finding a woman who has any capacity for pair bonding left.
Divorce rates 60%, 80% of which initiated by wahman
Ultimately, both men and women want holistic intimacy, mutual support and a suitable reproductive partner. Family is the ultimate goal of sex and "sexual opportunity" is much better expressed as reproductive opportunity. The guy in this video is taking an excessively reductive and mechanistic approach that ignores far too much.
If the primary reason you are staying with a partner is for kids, the relationship is doomed. Having kids, moreover, usually puts enormous strain on a relationship. The mother of my children became a different person when we had kids, much harder to deal with. Kids, God bless them, are usually the primary reasons why divorce occurs, though it is taboo to say so for obvious reasons
As a 53 y/o recently divorced man after 30 years, things have changed a lot. I’m a professor of Microbiology and appreciate the analyses. Thank you for shining a light on things today
You're method of breaking down the motivation behind cultural shifts that are usually so emotionally charged is uniquely valuable.
What would an emotionally charged explanation be- for lack of relationships, then?
@@eladbari most people who talk about it come from a place of assigning blame to specific groups, like "there aren't enough real men" or "most women are gold diggers".
Social media: what a gift.
Gifted to us by socially awkward nerds ❤
@@Macheako Gifted to humanity by rich socially awkward nerds with a strong skill in solving human problems.
Obviously, we are unfit to deal with it.
UA-cam is social media as well, so yes, it is a gift
I have to agree most people are more and more impatient nowadays and are so quick to walk away.
"how hollow is the sound of victory without someone to share it with. Honor gives little comfort to a man alone in his home... and in his heart."
Fewer young MEN have sex or relationships. Women are having plenty with the same few men.
I think your analysis is spot-on and very honest. As well as pointing in the right direction without misleading jargon.
I think you're one of the only channels actually diving deep enough into this to get real & true information.
Spot on. For me the resources I have to expend on just trying to get into a relationship are prohibitive. I have been single for three and a half years and I simply don't want the hassle anymore.
Getting into the relationship is the easy bit. Maintaining the relationship over a 5, 10, 15 year period is the difficult bit. As Orion says, online is beginning to overtake "in real life" as the easier/stress-free/happier option.
Same. Moving out of the US just to find a long term relationship - it’s sad.
@@bu5761 finding a women in another country is very popular, I know several men that I work with, guys with very good careers and incomes doing it. I have seen men's channels on UA-cam advocating it. It is one area where the balance of power is in the man's favor. Ameican males earn more, are taller, and are higher status than other men in most of the world. Go south of the boarder, most of Latin America, most Asian counties,just think out of the box.
@@tomgrove7212 yes sir. Been planning for a couple years, intending on moving before the end of the year. One of my rental properties on the market now, the others I’ll keep as passive income. Can’t wait to get the hell out of this crazy place. And fellas I’m 6’4” - the height doesn’t make a difference - they only care about your car, watch, clothes, bs stories about how rich you are and where you can take them on vacation. No thanks! I’ll find a great woman who’ll actually stick around and appreciate me at a much better discount ✌️ and I’ll be happy to spoil her bc she won’t constantly be on the lookout for a ‘better deal’
@@bu5761 Combative western women tire western men.
It's true for me. I'm 49 and I gave up on sex and relationships very early on, probably ~30 years ago. I had porn as an outlet, so never bothered putting energy into the risky business of appealing to women. This impacted on my drive to seek work, because I just needed enough to maintain myself. In ''another life'', I probably could have found a woman if I'd put in the effort. I'm average looking, but large framed and 6'4" and reasonably intelligent. I'm socially awkward in the realm of dating, but have no desire to improve myself. But my situation beats marrying a woman who needs a financial cushion and is only marginally into me.
Cope
There is not much reason to improve ourselves except ego.
Honestly they made the right decision not choosing you. Ultimately it was your own choice to lay down and not improve yourself in any meaningful way.
Your behavior is unattractive not your appearance. Stop avoiding women and tension and escapism. Set goals on approaching women and overcoming your fears. Numbers will follow, then dates, then relationship.
@samuelmorse784 It's not unattractive to avoid women , it's wise. I pretty much avoid women too. I'm having a very fulfilling, drama free life 💪
Someone that knows exactly whats going on. Breath of freshair. Very well articulated Sir!
The way around it for men, is to travel to places where you're appreciated physically (Philippines, Vietnam, Guatemala, Mexico). The way around it for women, is to refuse to give up any form of nookie or nudity until you're inside the committed relationship
Stop idealizing asian women, it's a big big mistake, believe me. Someone I know from the phillipines was just telling me today how their son was framed by his gf with a fake accusation to try to get money from his family. All of them filipinos. The women in Asia are going exactly in the same direction as western women, albeit just with a bit of delay.
@@king-manu2758 you’ll be surprised to learn the Guatemala and Mexico are not in Asia.
@@Fullyautomagic it's the same. Going to third world countries only means you'll find women who want a transactional relationship.
I had one boyfriend before I met my husband. The first boyfriend I had sex with, to discover after a few weeks he was addicted to porn, and brutal, and would not learn any different (I was the problem according to his porn brain). Women should be able to leave a relationship is the guy is sexually dysfunctionnal and won't progress. You can't know that before you had sex with them. It's not all about reproduction, women want good lovers too.
@@cevanille1104 i think that's fine. I believe this incel obsession with women being virgins is a total autistic sperg out. As long as you're not a total perv who's used to getting railed by an entire football team (that's as bad for men as the porn brain guy is for women) then it shouldn't be an issue if you tried relationships before and they didn't work.
You forgot to mention the court system has reduced men to a sperm donor with a paycheck. Lol.
I agree with you, but there's another part of the puzzle that I hope you can discuss another time, which is the time, energy, and money that different institutions and businesses demand from people once they start a relationship. When you think about it, society is demanding a lot from a couple that's just trying to focus on their relationship. Society demands a lot more time at work, a lot more financial resources to keep up with the cost of living, and a lot more energy is needed just to keep up with those things. Furthermore, if a couple has a child, from the moment the child is born to college graduation, it's potentially hundreds of thousands or, in some cases, millions of dollars for one child over at least two decades. That's a lot of financial pressure to put on a couple. The couple won't likely have the time to focus on their relationship if they're focused on making money and finding the energy to maintain a life. It's understandable why romantic relationships are on the decline.
Spot on, buddy. Exactly. It's basically slavery. Yet, I wonder if a couple who have awareness could bypass those traps?
I mean, if a layday always tries to keep with the jonses, and want bigger, better house- then slavery we go. But, if you realize that everything's buIIshit, that you don't have to buy so much, no need for your kid to go to college anymore in 2023, but rather find education someplace else, then...maybe there's a change?
But, yeah, for 95% of cases it feels like this lifestyle just could consume you alive that people give up on themselves, just to make it another day financially.
I struggled to understand the comparison you were making here?
You say that society demands more from couples. And my thinking was, "more than it demands from individuals?" But I *think* your intention was to say that more is demanded THAN IN THE PAST. Which...is just a convoluted way of saying that life is more expensive: fair enough.
Generally, however, societies incentivize marriage. e.g. Most individuals cannot afford a home on their own. However (a) two incomes can swing it, (b) you get tax breaks and equity from the property, and (c) there are additional tax breaks for being married.
So: I disagree. While inflating expenses ARE awful...their full impact is only seen in a culture of individuals that fail to grow together into families who share the burden. Our disillusionment with relationships came before things got too expensive.
@@everObvious I do think that individual extremism is one of the reasons why some people fail to grow together. But growing together as a couple also requires time and energy. It just feels like society and its growing demands are taking that away from people. Statistically, this can be seen. Fewer people are getting married, and more people are getting divorced. If what you are saying is fully true, more people would do it. If society expects people to participate in a particular way, where is the support for that outside of tax breaks, etc.?
Speaking from my position as a single man with experience with relationships, I don't think I would be able to keep up. And yes, I am speaking financially, but only partly. The time and energy needed for a relationship seem to be sparse. There needs to be some balance with life and work. This is my perspective, not the perspective.
@@Ayosubzero It seems I missed your initial point, my bad. I still don't understand you, then.
I'm biased by a western mindset: society here is something that you can opt out of. It has its influence. But you can become a nomad or move away from your birth family without overwhelming stigma. So when you mention society REQUIRING anything (time and energy, you say)...that all seems optional. The people you know might pressure you. But those people aren't Society, with a capital S.
You (kind of) say that less marriage is evidence of this societal pressure? No...less marriage is evidence of fewer men proposing. Divorce laws disproportionately favor women. Everyone could still (theoretically) desire relationships...just not the government intervention part. (Theoretically. We know this isn't true, because stats indicate that more people identify as being "single.")
I gave taxes as AN example of society's support/presumption of relationships...specifically, nuclear families. Our laws echo our taxes (like with inheritance and power of attorney passing to your spouse, by default): there's another example. My intent wasn't to be comprehensive, but to poke holes in the notion that society is anti-relationship.
I mean...maybe you are defining "society" differently than I would?
VERY well said, sir. And I agree. I think this has to do with the constant need for increases in production which stems from constant inflation. Companies need to constantly increase profits to keep up with inflation. This is passed on to their workers. In my adult working life expectations from employers have exponentially increased as well as the skills I need to constantly improve or new ones to learn. It ends up eating more into my personal life and the energy I have leftover after a day of work. You are correct. Great observation.
Is everything a commodity nowadays? What is wrong with people? Noone needs connection and intimacy? This video just confirms how people think about relationships and it's truly sad.
Yeah it's pretty disgusting how people treat each other as disposable
For so long ive wanted someone to fall asleep next to. Time and time again ive been made a fool and felt unappreciated it has frustrated me to isolation. Its so draining to keep trying and my heart hurts everytime. Transactional relationships everywhere and no love to be found.
@@earthboundmisfit7654 > For so long ive wanted someone to fall asleep next to
Extremely relatable
Your insight is incredible! The videos are super helpful. Keep up the fantastic work.
Women do not want relationships, just an ATM and likes.
And can you blame them? No .
@@SmoothCode The do not ask for help to normal guys after being run off by thugs, hun.
Marriage, sex and childbirth rates are at all time lows.
@@nosotrosloslobosestamosreg4115 According to Orion, men are by their very nature incapable of loyalty. That being the case, why would any woman value a man for anything but his money and his looks?
I think the ripple effects of these substitute online relationships can’t be overstated. Lots of men don’t learn how to talk to broader groups of people beyond their close associates, and lots of women lose any sense of reality with the market they eventually wind up dating in. In both cases, it just makes it harder to find a relationship when/if they decide they want one IRL.
Looks like men and women are happy with online rather than IRL. Hence the declining marriage and birth rates. It makes sense when you think about it. Women probably don't want to be single moms. And men don't want to lose custody and pay child support. Online seems to be the better and safer system.
@@marriagecausesdivorce7540 I never made the connection between the single mom thing for women and divorce r@pe for men. That makes so much sense lol. Its still heavily skewed against men though
@@marriagecausesdivorce7540
If they were happy, depression and suicide wouldn't be at an all time high.
Most really aren't happy, but then happiness was never a mandatory feat for society to be upheld.
Holy smokes, doc - you absolutely killed it with this one. That all made perfect sense
I am so glad I found this this channel. Learning so much.
This is pretty much how i have been living the last 6-8 years. My past relationships and observing women and how they react to me now that i am older and uglier. I've just been trying less and less. since i hit 23 its a repeat of never enough, not fit enough, not enough wealth not enough masculine tendencies, too much wealth too much muscle etc.
Now that i am 30 and i am in the to 10% of income, there's still better men out me who will snatch her away from my arms. So why bother tbh? i dont mind transactional relationships, its the way humans are but the way things are now is insane.
I'm now concentrating on living a good life alone, I likely wont be a family man nor will I likely ever marry. Its sad but "it is what it is", i never asked for this. I wanted to provide and care for a woman who provides so much less then me, I tolerated insane bullshit from women in the past. It was just never enough and there always was a better deal around the corner, so fuck it tbh. I give up
change your social circle or environment if women really are like that around you.. or look at yourself and ask what you can change about yourself as well
Why were you tolerating bullshit for one? Dude you are the guy you gota act like it once you realize what peacec of shit women are in general you will be able to treat them in a way that works but you’re right it isn’t actually worth it. If I were you, I would consider getting a wife from Thailand or something. But you gota stay over there are western women are beyond saving corrupt through and through
A great satisfaction I have as an older man, is that the women who once rejected me, now want who I am, not me. Women never want the man, they want what he represents
@@polpol1005 honestly that whole change yourself thing is getting fucking old. Its almost as tiring as the "just beeee yourself" or the "follow your heart" bullshit. Do everyone a favor keep your hot advice to yourself.
Everyone who followed that advice got royally fucked, especially those whose passions were in art.
@@rogerm3708 Yeah, this is why i am slowly giving up. There is no love there just objectification, which i would be okay with to some degree but ill be honest its not something i am willing to commit to or build a family with.
Thanks for your efforts for providing us great educational contents❤
Keep in mind that all education is best understood through the lens of critical scrutiny. Not everything expressed with confidence is correct or honest.
Thanks! This puts everything that's happening in our modern digital culture into perspective.
This is so right! Congratulations for clearly stating what everyone could confusely feel was going on.
Fascinating, Orion. You have a great skill of explaining complicated topics in simple terms, and I agree with your assessment with regards to why men don’t get into relationships. I haven’t met many women that provide enough value for me to stay in a relationship with them. Having them simply show up without providing any traditional efforts whatsoever is no way to keep a man around. Gents, if you don’t have a girl putting effort in then she doesn’t like you like that. My mistake was experiencing a relationship where we both put in effort to the point that it turned into a positive feedback loop and we both ended up making each other very happy. That broke down due to religious differences, but that’s the dynamic I believe every man should aim for. Edit: by mistake I mean experiencing such a high-quality relationship will make it difficult for any woman coming after her.
I wish every man / woman has this mindset. It'll make the relationship and the world a better place. Also, as a man, I feel it's very hard to find women with this mindset.
Interesting take. I do believe in order for realionship to work both members have to put in the work.
except that the underlying reasoning of his argument is false lol
@@youtubesucks2755 what do you exactly mean ?
@@AR-182 that men want sex and women want money. If that was the case no one would have a crush on anyone in high schools. Places where prostitution is legal, men wouldn't even bother talking to women. Women who earn money wouldn't even date anyone.
We are screwed man…. I am so sad to live in this time
Wow wow wow!!! Binge watching a lot of your vids and making notes. Absolutely fantastic stuff. Thanks for sharing ❤
This is a truly fascinating and eye opening take on the state of affairs with relationships!
As soon a woman gets offered a commitment, she doesn't want it anymore, BUT is offended, if the man doesn't offer that said commitment.
Because commitment isn’t something that the man should angle for. That is the job of the woman. When a man openly offers commitment, it signals to the woman that he is “desperate” to tie her down because he is “afraid” to lose her. It doesn’t matter if that isn’t actually the case, but this is how she feels. That is her perception of the situation and in turn she gets turned off.
Women are more attracted to men that don’t need them, men that live life with or without the woman by his side. This signals to the woman that he is so confident in himself that he could replace her at any time if need be, and isn’t desperate to have her in his life.
Woman are most attracted to the man that COULD cheat on her but doesn’t, that WANTS her but doesn’t NEED her, the guy that has half a dozen options but picks HER.
If she gets picked out of a half a dozen options, to her it means that she won because she is “BETTER” than all the rest and that is why she got chosen. Again it doesn’t matter if that isn’t actually the case, but that’s the way she feels!
Women are slaves to their emotions, their feelings are their “reality”. If reality doesn’t align with their feelings, often times reality will then be ignored.
Women want marriage, but they also want divorce. Make it, make sense.
@@jermaineayivoh8263 Hit the nail right on the head. Men’s issue is that they keep trying to deal with women they same way we deal with other men. We expect other men to behave rationally, and not emotionally, as emotions are unstable. We try to do the same with women, when in reality women fundamentally CANT move like this. As you said, their emotions is their reality, men NEED to understand this. Until then, they’ll keep getting disappointed, expecting women to be as rational as we are.💯
@@jermaineayivoh8263I'm so attractive I tell all women to kick rocks so I can fap. They chase me in decades....balance.
@@jermaineayivoh8263if you are a really high value man in her eyes you don’t need to worry about asking for commitment. Women only lose interest if she wasn’t completely into the guy. If a woman is really into you and you delay too much commitment she’s going to lose interest eventually as well
I’ve fixed both, money and relationships are not a problem anymore.
ok
Nice, how did you do it?
Thank you, my brother. Everyone on earth should watch this video.
Blessings.
More like this please. Best video I’ve seen on this in a while
What value or benefits do men get out of relationships?? More men are waking up to female nature and walking away from the plantation.
hhhhhhh
It's sad to see that men have come to this specific idea. It's no wonder relationships are declining with men thinking this way
Ya, this is a good point as well - men get very little out of relationships nowadays in western culture - that's why marriage became a thing many years ago - women got smart and began withholding "bedroom fun" until they were married to secure the resources and the man secured a virgin to be his wife and he'd have exclusive bedroom access to...since the invention of birth control & no-fault divorce / alimony there are literally zero benefits for a man to get married today - better off avoiding women altogether with the way the court system works.
@@Johnny-CageFoolish comment. Numbers do not lie.
@@tyronevonchadley look, just because you suck at finding a woman who can provide value in a relationship doesn't mean that women can't provide value in a relationship 🤷🏽♂️
I disagree with "men don't want to put in the work for relationship /sex because they find pron easier." GenZ men WANT relationships, but women just don't allow it because they are looking for the better deal, fall for the illusion on social media or are dating older guys. I read somewhere that females always dictate the rules of the sexual market place.
Bro most GenZ men are gonna get swept under the rug. They are so disconnected from really, are so sensitive, unfunny and uncool that no girl wants anything to do with them unless they have tons of cash to make up for how insecure and unbearable they are. GenZ has no culture
They do. The data shows it. However, it’s young women from age 18-25 that have the most power to shape the rules, and with feminism, they are shaping the rules and they’re like spoiled children that have no idea what they’re doing.
In the past, her father would make the wise decision of who to marry her off to, but that’s now seen as sexist, so we are letting the 18yr old shape society and look at where we are now in this dystopian sexual marketplace.
sexual marketplace but not commitment marketplace.
This younger females unfortunately do not understand.
yeah the better deal thing really fucking gets me, honestly it makes me feel nothing when they come crying about being used after treating men like trash for years.
Men and woman aren't looking for the same things in relationships. As a man it seems to me that the only time I'm "Wanted" By woman is when I'm Needed for something/ Useful.
If I chose to be useless I would also be choosing to be alone.
Woman can choose to be useful or not. It's the same It's always been. My role is rigid and static,uncaring and non-negotiable.Yours is fluid and flexible, it has to be right for you, and most importantly, the quality of the relationship is dictated by me and my Interactions. You can act however you want to and justify it by saying I made you feel a certain way, And I'm forced to conform to a stale tired existence of Perpetual work. Endlessly cow towing for the Possibility of sex that will most certainly be less and less frequent AND less and less satisfying over time as your relationship withers on the vine.......
Hard to believe why relationships are failing Amiright?!
Such a solid explanation , you will go far dude seriously
soooo true.. your grasp on reality and articulation is on point.
Porn is not trapping men. It's a solution to a problem because women are so difficult today. So men are being logical. Women don't want man? Man still has needs. Never met a man who chose porn over a woman. The problems start with women changing, continue with men not being able to support a household and end with hypergamy and the women choosing the top males. Leaving more than half the single males ignored. So as a man you can work 10, 20, 30 years for a woman to finally see you only because you have things or money or you can just check out because the juice isn't worth the squeeze. Your character and who you are as a person doesn't get women interested.
💯
I chose porn over a woman, mainly because, despite a strong sex drive, I wished to explore Nature and read interesting books. I had no interest in social status as it was so species-specific and a limited view of things. I figured that no woman would go for that way of thinking! I wish they would stop saying sex for men is a need. It is a strong want only, and is a horrible way to make a woman feel guilty if she does not provide. No matter how much "love" a relationship may offer, the couple uses each other big time. I am not against others having relationships, but let's stop the glorification of them.
@@stephenjones5304 your logic checks out.
No my dear friend. Porn is not a solution to a problem that women have caused. Stop blaming women for everything. Women will always choose men with good characters.
@@lydia_d505 Soime women do choose wisely. Many do not, and go with the exciting yet irresponsible bad boy and pay the price. Check all the online stories. Thanks.
If I ever get the urge to get married, I'll just find a woman I like and buy her a house.
don’t like
That's transactional mindset. You have a target on your back, exposed to predatory (i.e. opportunist) women.
😂
@@mbg9650 He was being sarcastic
😂
This is extremely fascinating! Always fun to take a back seat approach to learn what’s really going on 👏
your tv reflection perfectly completes the bookshelf
as a man i don't want a relationship because it's simply not worth it in any way. keeping things casual is the best option.
Traditional societal values and stigmas around marriage, infidelity and divorce takes most of the risk right out of relationships. They serve as guardrails. Combined with restrictions of sex outside wedlock, and attention and resources outside marriage, it makes marriage look much more palatable.
This is a great breakdown of what's happening today.
Thank you for all your hard work. We've learned a lot from you.
Even if porn was illegal I still wouldn't approach women. It's not worth the rejection, ghosting, and mind games.
Get some self esteem and just hard next a chick if she disrespects you. NEXT NEXT NEXT. Rejection is fine, who cares. NEXT
and false accusations
You don't just cold approach women. They will make it known they're interested first so then you can approach.
you have to remember that even if you do manage to pull a woman, she can use you till something better comes along. I am happy being single, i can't stand drama.
@@jayc342009Exactly. A woman has to to have a high-level of attraction towards you in order for the possibility of monkey branching to decrease. Any even then, you never really know. There's ALWAYS a "better" option for her, in her mind.
This is why prostitution is illegal. Women would be out of business.
No - it is illegal since some immoral men would pimp women for money and let those women only keep a small percentage of her exploitation.
@dmoneydmoney6050, Wrong. Throughout history it’s only a very small minority of women that become prostitutes. I lived in a country that had generally available prostitution. It skewed the sexual power dynamic in favor of men.
@@brawndothethirstmutilator9848 which country?
It is still very easy to get an escort these days despite it being illegal. Honestly, it's a far better option and cheaper in the long run. Modern women just aren't worth the investment.
The world is bigger than the US. In most countries, prostitution is not illegal
Very thorough and accurate explanation. Great video.
Dude, great explanation. You hit the nail on the head with this.
Stop looking for validation, don’t validate, just don’t give a F***
You spoke so much truth, men also seek sexual satisfaction on women they are not that attracted to, ones they have no intentions on taking serious, or “dates” as an alternative rather than risk wasting time and money to often times be rejected. Women usually have male friends that provide them the boyfriend experience without receiving “benefits” where they leverage the possibility of sex for as long as they can. It’s a sad world we live in as I am well aware of these dynamics. Where both parties outweigh risk vs reward and conclude that a relationship that requires work and investment, potentially provide a long term bond and satisfaction does not come out victor. Ig convenience will always sell.
"boyfriend experience". I'm definitely stealing that quote. It is brilliant. Too many SIMPs in the friendzone providing the BFE.
@@marriagecausesdivorce7540 Guy friends and male orbiters
Best comment in this video! You added an amazing point in the already amazing point Dr. Taraban made
@@marriagecausesdivorce7540 Yep! Then those SIMPs cry and blame ALL women for their inability to move on and sick what they want.
PATHETIC!
Brilliant and eloquent as usual. Thanks so much
Wow 100% on point. Summed it up beautifully.
i've been saying this for year... noticed it yrs ago when i'd go out with my lady. we would go to restaurants, and the wait staff was surprised at us NOT using our phones, TALKING to each other in a real conversation, and enjoying each other's company. the manager at one restaurant even gave us a FREE dessert because we, "were old school."
young women today: put on make-up, get dressed (or undressed) to STAY at home and post pictures online for TAR (time + attention + resources) from men. women do NOT have to meet men in-person, hold conversations, be interesting, and eventually GIVE UP SEX in order to keep a man's attention.
young men today: smoke weed, play video games online, and watch porn... crank off and ignore actually TRYING to get with a real woman. men do NOT have to approach, meet, hold conversations, be masculine/dominant and eventually GIVE UP RESOURCES in order to keep a woman's attention.
result: dating is dead, relationships are useless, and marriage is on life support. instead, people simply meet (online), hook-up, and go about their business. in this scenario, men are winning... as very little effort is required to get sex. the value of vagina is at an all-time low thanks to feminism, 'empowerment,' and social media.
Balance 🤗
There is just no incentive to date as a man, young women today are promiscuous more than ever. I will not have kids or marry a hoe, no fucking way.
Men don't win we all lose. Women have access to any men they want so can demand only the best. Men are out there paying thousands for pics only
So depressing as a woman I might just become a cat lady I really can’t be bothered with it because then if I do have a happy marriage when I have kids they are going to grow up in this stupid society 🤦🏼♀️ ide feel to guilty to put them through that
@@r.1.336
We only have an evil society because women have been unconstitutionally in charge for a century and anthropologically speaking, matriarchal societies are necessarily primitive. This means that women, the useless voting majority, could turn us on a dime, end the war and fix everything just by pitching a fit, as with unconstitutional feminism a century ago. I mean, the prohibition era was all them and they're still whining about it without demanding change through the proper channels. News flash: you straight up can't get married or pregnant unless you want to be a single mother because desirable men have options and know things. Women file 80% of divorces. Single mothers, who are half of mothers, raise 80% of inmates, 85% of children with behavioral disorders and all the low self esteem girls we run through for fun. Women lose 90% of their eggs by age thirty and you're about that age so stop acting like it's a benevolent choice and not a grim default.
Dr. Taraban it seems as the world has changed a lot and sadly we keep using the measuring stick from decades or event past centuries ago and that perspective does not apply nowadays. Thank you for all the great content you make for us all Sir!
I'm afraid I have to beg to differ on one thing. There's no equivalence between porn for men and social media for women. Men don't prefer porn, men retreat to porn. You're not going to find many men who would choose to jerk their chicken instead of having sex and a living relationship with a woman who is attracted to them if that option were available.
Onlyfans money isn't virtual, it's real money and many women would rather risk being one of many OF 'creators' who make peanuts or who end up stalked by fans than date an average guy.
Women left men enmasse and men left alone, are now blamed for how they choose to soothe their loneliness as though they chose to be lonely. The loneliness came first and women can end it anytime they decide they want to date and raise families with the ordinary men they think they're too good for in a world built on the toil of ordinary men
The internet has ruined our species. Our need for socialization and community has been replaced with an online surrogate that has removed any need to physically interact.
At nearly 30 I'm one of the rare few that was able to comprehend life before widespread internet take over, as well as mature into adulthood with it as a prominent part of life. I firmly believe my generations obsession with nostalgia is based on a instinctual urge to return to that pre internet time.
Great video; as always, you've displayed great skill at explaining the baffling and at the same time, hit a raw nerve. Thanks
Well this one particular video just explained the dire situation relationships have been heading towards in the last 10 years because of social media and pornography incredibly well. I honestly recommend we share this as much as possible cause apparently it hasn't fully caught on yet. It also seems to be taboo because it points out how women no longer need to engage in traditional relationships to get what they want and i'm sure that will be misconstrued as misogyny.
Everything that doesn’t paint women as angels is considered misogyny
@@IAmTheEggMan111 yep, I guess that’s why whatever we do we’re screwed. No accountability.
Ya I just mentioned in my comment that it'd be nice to see some suggested solutions. Problem though is that women usually don't learn their lesson until they hit the wall / run up their body count to the point no man wants to date them, and men on the flipside are burning their dopamine receptors out on pr0n forcing them to have to go through a reboot process that can take quite a bit of time to reverse the damage on. Western culture is in a terrible place.
I think after they'd done making millions off of onIyfans- they can't really get a baby from those platforms. So, maybe they don't have it all. (And biology screams at them to do so).
Yet, it's still much more accessible to them (just grabbing some sprm), compared to men.
One major factor i have to put in is from the previous generational family destruction, there is always the threath that it could happen to you, you maybe want a family as a man but current laws are putted in place to destroy that and live of your back (labour market )and your hard earned resources are shared for you're woman those are just basically hers and all for free if you have children if she decides to split up even if you previously owned all those shared resources so why wouldn't she go to court? ,before you would even think about a relationship all you're wife has to do is to go to the court and goodbye family where's that equality? They just push for 304society because of the major money supply that benefits walled woman and the ones in power, just imagine the amount of wealth 304 business, labour market combined with the divorce business what amount of money it could bring and where it would flow to.
There was a time in my life when I truly wanted to believe that relationships actually involve love and mutual desire for one another. But an unrelenting slew of arguments like yours coupled with the fact that every relationship I’ve ever been in, has been a cataclysmic disaster that left me with horrible emotional scars has convinced me that this is the reality of the situation. So excepting that is the case, why then, would you want people to return to being in relationships? Why would you want people to be in a fundamentally dishonest pairing where they cynically extract sec and resources from one another when they could be honest about what they want and just pay each other openly for it?
This guy has perfect speech. Not one stutter and everything sound like a polished script without it being one.
This is extremely upsetting, I see no way to change this paradigm.
Dystopia is what I think. As a married man, I can’t say how this relationship in and of itself brings me so much joy (as hard as it is, but anything worth having is worth working for). Sad that so many others can’t find it.
There’s literally only so many women in the world. You can’t GAURANTEE everyone will find somebody ❤
How long ago did you marry? I'm old enough to recall pre social media days ha ha. My then partner and eventual mother of my kids didn't even use (by her choice) a personal email or cellphone. When she did... soon after the end was in sight. It's a bit like us men, it's easy enough to resist temptations when it's not in your face, but be around women, and wow now it's hard. Well, women can get attention, validation and be flirted with anytime they choose to, with just a few click - or even if they simply have a web presence. Too much temptations for them now, and a seemingly endless supply of men (illusion as most don't want anything but a hookup). Add the current no accountability "no fault" culture for women and we get the current disaster.
For now
@Macheako Standard fallacy. There's enough women out there, globally. Don't resign yourself to taking the black pill. Level up
I was married for 35 years. Don't assume you will remain married...most things in life and life itself, has a beginning and an end.
This is a really brilliant and easy to understand analysis of what is happening.
I see 2 tendencies in humanity:
- Some learn to deal with this new technology trends, integrate them into a healthy lifestyle and help other people to do the same.
- Some resist everything which is not artificial until they notice that the systems needed to maintain all these artificial occurrences entirely corrupted our whole biosphere (reminds me of the music video: "Noise" from Nightwish, which is basically a warning for us).
I hate dealing with a needy person, and people that require too much attention