Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Serial monogamy is a dating strategy that so clearly favors women that I'm consistently surprised when men voluntarily assume it for themselves. The crux of the issue is that it is much easier for the average woman to enter into a new relationship after the end of the old one than it is for the average man. Over time, this leads to significant disparities in experience and opportunity that make it more likely that a woman will end up in a relationship that serves her needs than the other way around. I'll discuss the reasons for all of this in this episode. Social Media Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: ua-cam.com/channels/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw.htmljoin Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #dating #women #relationship
I think it wld be beneficial to start doing how to have a healthy relationship with yourself first, how to validate yourself etc. to recognize in our lives where we may not be healthy before running off into relationships. I will admit feminist have not helped us in the dating process, and marriage arena. There is distrust from men towards women. I don't blame them for it because it has swung so much in the opposite direction taking them to the cleaners. We, both sexes are just miserable now. (In a way, I think this was by design. Divide the males and females, divide families and have lil to hope for.)
I think you were trying to describe "monkeybranching." It's basically a "legal" way that women get away with cheating. That activity--cheating--really deserves to be in quotes, too, because humans are naturally a polygamous species.
You claim the average man will take any woman who will have him, which I assume means you're claiming the average woman is more particular. Has not been my experience at all. I am a non slutty serious female. I am sweet, level-headed, and not materialistic. Also good looking. I am the one who has been screwed over and left hanging the bag in my last few relationships. I woulkd have bene very satisfied to be married with a kid or two by now. Instead I find myself being more and more careful dating each time I'm burned. I don't feel bitter, just sad and confused. Perhaps I'm just running into men who think like women? Each of them either got a new girlfriend or starting dating exclusively while still dating me or within a few months of breaking up. Meanwhile I was still trying to process being blindsided months later. Also, I would think all bets are off still on HOW mating and dating is working after a 3 year Pandemic. It put a stop to many breakups and kept a lot of single pople from finding new mates. So yeah, as a woman, it would be personally beneficial if one could easily find a guy to move on with. But I'm not seeing the evidence out there whatsoever.
I have lost count of the times my mother has been married (I know it is double digits), but she always had a new guy lined up before she pulled the trigger on a divorce. That combined with the fact that she always came out of the marriage with more money than she went into it with convinced me that marriage was a an extremely bad idea for men.
With all due respect, the guys that married your mum were all stupid. I cannot fathom how any human being could even consider marrying someone how has been married multiple times before. Til death do us path clearly never meant anything to any of them. There’s a whole lot of people who have no business ever being allowed to marry who make marriage to look like a death sentence to regular, reasonable and probably decent people
Women tend to enter a new relationship BEFORE breaking it off with their SO. Monkey branching is how most women move from one partner to the next. Very rarely is a average to above average woman ever single. Just introduce yourself and she’ll decide whether she’s single or not.
@@caucasianafrican1435 depends on the woman. I know a woman now in her 50s who still has no trouble getting dates, even with young men. She's terrified of commitment, which probably is just fine for the younger men anyways who presumably just want a fling, but she's also always the one to break off the relationship (guess how I know...), and she does so as soon as someone else comes along who seems like a better prospect to her. I'd suggest her ability to judge men is very poor and the prospects more often than not worse than the guy she just left, but she just keeps jumping from guy to guy to guy. Into her 50s. As the original post suggests: she's always single for a sufficiently promising looking prospect.
Monkey branching is an interesting alternative to bed hopping, I, for one, wouldn't want to be compared to a monkey, bed hopping makes one sound like a slut. I have another name I like to call women who have a series of monogamous relationships with a string of boyfriends, I call that woman a breakup artist!
@@caucasianafrican1435 I know women who's stayed faithful their entire lives. They exist and are about 40% of all women. I think you can also train at least 20% more of them to stay, just by employing some simple methods.
@Quincy Just play it and let them play... serialized monogamy is in the best interests for women, not men; what I usually do is I tell them I am getting to know different women and then choose the one is the best for me... and in contrary in our belief... they play that game so joyfully because that is the game they play...
There's a fourth reason why women win at serial monogamy: The legal system is stacked in favour of women, and thus separation and divorce is potentially financially ruinous to men. Alimony and child support (something women never have to pay) reduce men to the state of serfdom, making them an unattractive prospect to a potential new partner. A man who's sleeping in his car because his ex wife stole his house, doesn't exactly have many options in the dating game.
Yes, this is usually the unseen part. A wrecked man is effectively taken out of the dating market, either directly or because he can't afford to date/invest in himself to raise his attractiveness.
@@sally.g. that's not enough you have to have a contingency plan because the balance of probabilities your going to have to use it. I would even go so far as to warn my future wife if she ever tries to take me to court and demand a payment that leaves me financially destitute I would gladly be a bum and be in and out of jail than live that subservient existence. If you not willing to go hard like this don't get married because you'll probably have to
I’m glad I’m too much of an asshole to get put in that position. I dominate my wife so fiercely that she would never mess with me and I always get my way.
That's why men in relationship must pay attention to their partner's behavior. When there is a break up a lot of men feel blindsided and think it came out of nowhere but in fact the girls had already broken up with them weeks ago, it's just that they hadn't told them. There are pretty clear signs when your girl is getting ready to leave the relationship when you know what to look for. Like I heard someone say : "A monkey doesn't let go of a branch if it doesn't have a new one to hold on to first."
Being in a relationship is a life of constantly being judged by someone while having to also be constantly vigilant against betrayal and disloyalty. The only men who bother dating are the ones who enjoy being miserable all the time...
But what if we made plans? She asked to go on a [insert the blank fun activity] and you were busy with your marketing campaign for your business, postponing all fun to later. Later you go to pick her up and she says don't call me anymore. But the plan was already made. You already have the perfume and the jewellery in a gift box to give her. What will you do now. You had a plan. Now I just don't care. i don't make plans, I don't think ahead, I forget a girl the day after I talk to her. Don't commit anything to memory.
A honest woman with integrity won't monkey branch ... she will still dump your butt if you are beta though lol. This guy and Coach Corey Wayne and his 3% alpha book go over attraction levels so you won't be blindsided. Women go cold slowly if are bf/gf before being out of love. There are stages and signs similiar to when you first meet her. She may text for example once a week like when you first met before the first date. If it goes BACK TO THIS it means her attraction level is at square 1 and in danger of hitting zero where she is confused and wants to friendzone. If she has a history of monkey branching DUMP HER BUTT as she will do the same to you next. Ask during dates? If she is into you she will hold your hand and show signs of affection and blow up your phone. Look for these men and if the signs of attraction are there you have nothing to worry about. If she is getting distant than go distant yourself and get busy and set dates just once a week similiar to your 1st date. Women will see what is going on and go oh shoot I don't want to lose him and she will bounce back. Women are emotional creatures and her emotions dictate what her attraction is. Not logic, reasoning, or what a great guy you are, or what you did in the past. Just how she feels NOW
This is one of the best videos I have ever watched as a 55 years old divorced man. I wish I had this knowledge of the sexual market as a young guy. It explains why my first love, could just move right on to another guy
I concur. In my teens and early 20s I knew a woman who could scarcely last a week as a single girl. She had many boyfriends. She was on a mission to land a husband. And her quest bore fruit. She married a guy I knew who became a doctor.
@@themarathoncontinues4211 I think so. She was not a 304 (with me). She could not stay single. I don't think she was a cheater. But she was always looking for a better deal. She & her hubby are the same age. They married quite young. They had a traditional marriage. They are still married, now 40+ yrs. So, it worked for both of them. They had 3 children. And now they are grand parents. Understand, this happened WAY before social media. Meeting people was done the old fashioned way- in real life.
I'm a serial monogamous guy. Dating multiple women is simply too much work without a big enough return. Would rather be alone. Quality over quantity. Yes, most women set up a life raft before jumping ship.
Same. I’m not going to play the dating multiple women pickup game. I simply don’t care. If I end up single for the rest of my life, that’s fine. Besides, I was married for 8 years and a lot of it wasn’t great anyway.
@@jayedwards7768 These guys still believe in practice and that coaching will get them the ladies. .1- Be tall. 2.- Have wealth or big prospects vs other men 3.- Good looking is a great plus 4.- If you lack in the three prior categories a)get more money if possible b) go to a smaller dating pool where competition might be lower or availability higher.
As a men you can avoid a lot suffering if you put yourself, your family and career and maybe even friends depending how good they are before any girl. If she left, then you lost the 5th most important thing in your life, not that big of a deal. However if you're married, things change. Now your family comes first, that includes your wife. I hope you chose well so she does the same.
Women postpone getting married and fewer and fewer are able to get married which is the whole point of dating for women. Being able to be part of many relationship is not what they truly want. So they do not win. They started losing against their own desires in the past few decades. Achieving their long term goals is the game they should be playing, not comparing themselves to men based on one dimension.
Agreed. PsychHack is entirely off base here. I don’t think anybody is winning in this ‘game’. Maybe just the top chads, but not crazy much. Even they are stuck in a paradox of choice.
Same, so I kicked her out. she said 'touch me i dare you' so i told her ok you want to play that 'i'm going to get my sisters and female cousins' and left, she was out of there so fast!! lol she's always been "concerned" about my sisters so i used that.
@@joaopaulodasilva4899 I tell them from the beginning, when they ask about family that i have 5 sisters and 12 female cousins. I always make SURE i bring that into the conversations. The way they talk to you is completely different than if you don't say anything.
I chatted to a girl about local city life every time I bought coffee and sweets in a bakery. She asked me out, wanted to be my girlfriend. We agreed that it's temporary, we just want to spend time together, and when she gets herself together we'll break up, in a about a year. 8 months later I said you're too emotional, we're breaking up now. She went psycho and threw my keys in the river.
I remember when my ex relationship was feeling uncertain...instead rushing to her for certainty i should've gone to the gym and improved my social life. I didnt do that until i was heartbroken.
Besides that learning of ones vulnerabilities and blind spots is a good idea. It's usually what gets us in trouble if we are unaligned with ourselves. It may even result in you leaving the relationship early, then she'll be after you, and you can use her as a back up shag between her breakups, if you allow her that close.
And this is why I live by the standard of Brefault's law. A woman often marries the lifestyle not the man which is why the man is replaceable never expect female loyalty to you but only to the incentive created by you in the relationship. Love and loyalty are male romantic constructs of the male blue pill mind.
You know whats sad about that? Men as well as women got manipulated from early age on but this whole blue beta pill mindset just hurts men. So basically what everyone is saying now, that man is the gender that can truly love, commit and be loyal but not woman. Even though men as women are both human beings it seems that just one gender is able to truly love. How fucked up is that? I was blue pilled basically 90% of my life and even though I know the truth now and see it, it still pisses me of. I know its because my expectations and the reality is not the same but whats the alternative? We breath the same air, we talk the same language, we eat the same stuff but nonetheless we arent the same. At some point I will have children, what should I teach my own son? Should I tell him "Son, you are the only gender that is capable of true love, women arent, so keep this in mind", its really sad
@@Nadox15 yup I was red-pilled as a teenager back in 2016 in the mgtow community by Turd Fling Monkey I remember he had a video called She Will Never Love You it was one of his most controversial videos. Where he gave real life examples and a few stats proving Brefault's Law and it was the hardest pill to swallow. Barbarrosa and Stardusk further reinforced it and ever since it's killed my romantic attraction to women anything left is just my 20s hormones and I know it. I remember Barbarossa quoted that book in his video the Rapacious Female Void and I'll paraphrase " Mankind will one day discover the truth so horrifying about ourselves and the universe that to conserve our own sanity we will crawl back into our holes and cling to the ignorance and bliss of a new dark age." I refused to be one of those guys I wish to boldly face the horror of the human condition and not cling to old debunked narratives for comfort. If I have a son I'll tell him to do the same if he wants love get a Dog and a brother to stand beside him. The way things are going it's clear women don't want most men and probably never will again without a societal collapse A.I. Robot girlfriends and artificial wombs are probably the future of men's romantic prospects.
This is 100% correct. A woman often creates an unrealistic (or perhaps delusional) lifestyle in her head and then gets extremely angry and frustrated at her husband if he doesn't live up to those expectations. Either way, it is a win-win for her. If she gets the lifestyle, then great, she's won. If she doesn't get the lifestyle, then she will divorce him and take his money, house and kids, which is another win for her.
Absolutely correct. They often marry the lifestyle and then play the game as if it was the man they married. Actually, this was always obvious but it is only now that this phenomenon is spoken out loudly.
Growing up with my dear sister I think it gave me some insight that women often have insecurities in themselves, but, they have the confidence they can change a ”bad” or malfunctioning guy, which makes me think women function in a radically different way in how we view the opposite sex. For me, I am never looking to change anything about anyone, if she fits for me, it is right, I do not look at others as projects at all.
What you're describing is women projecting their ability to change their feelings and thus their minds in what works. For women, if she feels a thing is right, then it's right. So feelings/what is right are fluid. They apply that to a guy. If he feels different, he can actually be different. All they have to do is make him feel different and ta-da, he's fixed. But men don't work that way. It's projection.
This is true but i don't think about fixing a 'bad boy', they're just attracted to someone who makes them feel some type of way, good or bad. That's what the nice guy doesn't understand. Women watch reality shows and crime dramas for a reason, to FEEL a rollercoaster of emotions, up and down, down and up. A nice guy provides stability, calmness, and peace. 20-29 YEAR old girls in the west do not have the MATURITY, emotional maturity for that life.
Bro many men have this too but is a bit different, it's the savior complex, and want to 'fix' a girl. They want to feel like the hero in her life. It's kinda similar to the 'beast tamer' complex women have.
What you're doing is overcomplicating something very simple. Your sister wants the guys that don't want her, but she justifies it by saying she is trying to "change" them. In reality she is just an option to them. Get her to lower her standards and I guarantee she won't need to "change" anybody because they will meet at the market equilibrium.
I agree with every thing said. I am in my sixties. I have had a number of relationships. Nearly every woman was more trouble then they were worth. Everyone moved on very very fast. A number of them reach out now to me. They are unhappy and would like for me to take them in., but i have zero interest in getting back with any of them. They had there fun, and took advantage of my feelings for them.
I just turned 60. I've been widowed for 12 years. I suspect there is going to be a lot of homeless women in the near future. Angry that nobody will date them. They were young and broke. Now they are old and broke. Even though I'm 60. I can't date women that look like my grandmother did.
so true! The majority of women in their fifties and sixties look like gramma but think they are hot, young ans sexy. It is disgusting. I had one so bad she came to the door in her bikini. I almost barfed in my mouth. Ladies act your age and admit you have hit the wall.
Nothing wrong with choosing the best option available at any age in life. You were simply not it then. In fact, there's a lot wrong in choosing anything else! Self-sacrificing for others is the essence of immorality practically - no matter what the bankrupt moral code of altruism, which rules the West, says. There's a lot wrong with you not choosing them now if they're the best option currently because of resentment over them (rightfully) not choosing you then. THAT's being self-sacrificing, self-defeating of you! Thus, you're being immoral.
Women win the dating game just like the example you gave of the employee. It's a means to an end for the employer because he loses little. He had lots of employees. The employee presumably only has that one job so it means much more. The key to winning any negotiation is caring less about the outcome than your counter party. The freedom to walk away is powerful.
If they really want to keep you around they'll come back with a serious offer . Which is often too late if you're good at what you do and are in demand.
There are TONS of parallels between dating and working, with employees generally in the position of the man dating, and employers as the women. Many of the strategies for being successful in one, will work for the other.
Women in anything involving commitment. Walking away for them is the easiest thing in the world since they have endless options and validation. They have all the power unless you are so highly competent in every area of life that no woman could ever acheive that in 10 lifetimes
Except that men were the employers in Orion's previous (not very good) analogy because they are the ones who establish the company and make the job offer for the woman to accept or reject.
I think the difference why women break up relationships so easy is HOW they perceive men. I think for most we are an emotional experience first, then a person second. In other words, the romantic feelings are more important than the person for whom they supposedly have those feelings. And once those feelings ebb, which they inadvertently must, then it's on to the next male who has no clue. Of course they run this game until the wheels fall of in their 30s, and even the 40s. Then it's game over. Think I'm wrong, just look back at a few of your relationships. Or better yet, just ask Pamela Anderson
💯 FACTS. They love the chase more than the guy. That’s why we as men need to make them invest more in the relationship and love us for us OR we need to start loving them conditionally as they do us. I make my gf take me on dates… make her invest money in you. I for one is doing that now. Am with them as long as their selfishness is in check and I make it clear that I love them as long as they acting right or stay the same as during the first 6 months. Once it spills over, am out. Women start being selfish with a guy when they start losing attraction for him. That’s my marker. Adios
You're definitely not wrong but the average joe won't see what you even mean. The avg guy right now out there dating, has ZERO clue what we're talking about here. heck i remember the first time i started listening to kevin samuels. I thought he hired those women lol then fresh and fit, i was like 'gtfo they've hired those ladies' lol That's how lost i was, and i was someone who got out, had friends, went to parties etc. imagine some dude with no friends who has no social circle.
@@neoreign I think the average joe experiences women who are fickle and flakey because they think their options and operate in an abundance mindset. I think it’s a self awareness and maturity thing to see what’s going on.
This became clear to me as a teenager in the early 1970s. I think psychologists, relationship counsellors, academics and many lay people knew this. But firstly, the lies, facades, pressure on males to succeed, false male pride and fake bravado, and to be seen to “be in control”, the yet to be used concept of “political correctness” to stifle conversations and the fear of the feminist discourses which victimised women as “the powerless”, meant that truthful discussion about gendered relationships didn’t and couldn’t occur.
It seems the two options available for man will increasingly be reduced to: 1) Becoming very successful and attractive for your own happiness and enjoying women that begin to reach you, but not committing or always being ready to walk away. or 2) Being intent in following monastic level celibacy. In both cases you would be following the principle that a women is not the main goal of your life. The alternatives to those would be the guy who is moderately successful with women to the point of, for example, getting married but then caring too much for her company and suffering after divorce etc, or the man who indulges in hedonistic pleasures, such as these AI girlfriends that are beginning to appear and so on. In brief, become a chad or a monk
The problem is that men make themselves too available to women. I think they are a bit like dogs chasing cars. And if women stopped this dumb idea that they have to "explore their sexuality" and have a 304 phase, much of the attention imbalance would be sorted out, and people would choose better partners and be more content with them.
I agree with this reasoning. I was married and then I dated some after the divorce, including a 2 year relationship many years after the divorce. I’m tired of it all and am working on improving my monk game because I can’t be a chad.
Option 3 replace them with technology. Womens evolution and end to their stagnation depends on it. They need real evolutionary pressure put on them. Since time immemorial just being born was enough to procreate no matter how trashy or degenerate.
It seems to me that we are going into a version of Neo-Feudalism. That is, our society is regressing to the medieval period. You can essentially boil down what you said to becoming a Chad (Knight or a successful merchant if you are a commoner) or a Monk (Priest, any role celibate in the Church). Medieval nobles essentially knew this and even as late as the 1700s the first son would be the heir and inherit the father's land. The second son would be a soldier in the army and if noble had the chance to be an officer and general eventually. The third son would be almost always encouraged or even forced to take vows and join the church to become a priest, monk, and work his way up in the church hierarchy as a (usually) celibate man. TBH the man who indulges in hedonistic pleasures but knows when to back off seems to be a wise fool, in the sense that seeking and maximizing joy over the long term in one's life is a sensible goal in a society that has lost all purpose and meaning. If you are happy with an AI girlfriend, what is wrong with that from a philosophical point of view?
I’ve always wondered why one of my high school classmates always managed to never stay single during her college years onwards. Yes, she was one of the pretty girls, so I thought that was the only factor, but ever since i’ve heard the term “monkey branching”, i’ve had a change in perspective. Just goes to show how much it sucks being a man. If you do what women do, it’s automatically viewed as cheating by society, but if you be an actual good man and stay faithfully loyal to the girl you’re seeing, it’s a losing game.
Lol. My ex ended up with a guy who was "like a brother" right after dating me. Granted, I broke up with her and she was an emotional vampire so he can have her. Poor bastard.
I see his point but disagree with it. With an abundance mindset, you notice the interest you get and you too can keep options "warm". My current gf knows that two of my five closest female friends want me (they told her flat out, "We're just waiting for you to f up" ) and due to timing (they were attached when I was single and now, the opposite is true), they're options sitting on top of Sterno. I think once men figure out that women tend to chase men who aren't chasing them, we'll all be better off.
@@Remianen What kind of social life leads to having five closest female friends when you're not chasing? I live in a new city every year, and that means picking up new girls every year. This time I'm in a city with only old people, and it's pretty lonely.
This is also something to consider when as a man you get into a relationship with a woman: She probably just broke up with her bf a week ago, or maybe she is in the process of doing that. I always found this weird. I've noticed many women didn't seem to care that they just ended a relationship, they can move one quickly and get into a new relationship a day after. I need many days even weeks to recover from a breakup. Maybe it is because I lack effortless options.
Isn't it said that you become desensitized after several (7 iirc) partners, or at least that women do? In other words, they are much less attached to their partners once they rack up their body count. Or they weren't in those relationships for love in the first place, so it doesn't matter to them.
The one who initiates the break up has prepared for it, and it is like a minimal surgery for them. The one who is left behind has a gaping wound and don't even know what happened at first.
Women have been watching their next mate beat their previous mate to death for thousands of years. Women do not care about men. They care in abstracts, or as a general goodwill toward others, but for their lovers women only consider themselves
@@PcCAvioN well no, this may be true in many cases, but not all. There are plenty of cases where women do stupid things in love's name. Wasn't there some girl who tried to help her Chad or Tyrone escape from prison for example xD I remember she got caught red-handed and sentenced. Not saying your words have no merit, but I think it's not right to go "wahmen bad," either. Well, I suppose someone can suspect women do those crazy things for love, not the men they love, and I am not sure how to counter that.
Breaking things down into what your win condition is pretty necessary. For example, a man's strengths lies in their ability to play the long game with discipline and ingenuity over a long period of time such as 20 years+. This is how investment portfolios, career networks, and life skills are built. At that point, you will live the life you want I assure you.
For me I knew I can get my business off the ground in China in 2014, it's do or bust, because new stifling regulations were coming. In the end a competitor called the police on me and I just gave up on business, tired from fighting the whole world. I always feel it's either crunch time where you must pull all nighters to succeed, or stagnation for many years.
The best thing a man can do is keeping every woman accountable for what she does, not what she says. We need to stay in this together boys! Until the majority of men up their relationship standards, women will get away with such kind of behaviour. And until then, men are better off alone.
I tell them I never listen to the words and from experience they talk allot of bullshit. Females also know they get judged for their past so carefull with their words. Dated enough girls and slept with enough to know the differences.
You're ridiculous. Plenty of women pay alimony. They just don't cry about it on the Internet and go on talk shows to tell their stories. Alimony is gender neutral. As is gold digging.
Divorce was a SIN! Forbidden! HELL awaits you! Human nature CONFLICTS with rules of society....... We must either forget all those old-school rules or try hard to regain/maintain them! Globalists already found a way: IMMIGRATION! Why do it yourself if other can do it for ya? OR artificial WOMBS, robot-workers or just. Less people. People are numbers, cattle, consumers, testing grounds.
You're saying men would never want to divorce? If women were not allowed to file for divorce, then no men would have any need for divorce? That says something about men then: treating women as interchangeable creatures. One way or the other, she just fills a role and it could be anyone. There must always be a mechanism for relationship termination in case the relationship is simply poor and the differences irreconcilable, regardless of whose "fault" it is.
@@roses6564 no, I'm saying back then people fixed their relationships instead of giving up on them. Now that divorce is a normal thing some people change spouses like their change clothes, plus how the judicial system works actively against men, we stand to gain nothing from marriage, only lose. And I say that as a married man and a lawyer who's seen how men get treated in a family court.
Well I’ve been divorced for well over 10yrs and my standards for a new relationship/dating are so high I haven’t met anyone who even comes close to 50% of my expectations. So I remain single and happy!
Smart man soy society no longer produces women with commitment value and even then there's no guarantee they will stay that way. The biggest kick in the balls is that a woman's obligations in a relationship are completely voluntary and can stop well before a divorce ever happens with no repercussions. Contrast that with a man who's obligations can continue well past the divorce and women feel entitled to this not one ounce of guilt over leaving men financially destitute and suicidal
I did some dating in my 20s, nothing lasted longer than a year or 2 max. Once I hit 30 as a single dude, I just assumed it wasn't in the cards for me and stopped caring. Given the state of the world, I cant imagine having kids anyway, so it's fine.
I have kids, and I am so grateful. That said. The dating scene now is a joke. The problem is, women believe that men be the same as 50 yrs ago, with the difference we should accept whatever rude behavior!? At the same time they should have the upper hand in everything, from mate selection, to your resources to your relationships. Fuck all that, get off the apps.
@@martinmartin9084 this even applies to the body positivity movement. Women's section- mannequins in all sizes, shapes, colors. Men's section- all with 6 packs
It is fine, but also sad... It could have been so great! Why can't we just get along? I also have big troubles in finding a nice female companion.. It almost seems impossible and it drives me MAD! I want KIDS! A sweet home! CATS! a dog! And a lovely wife! It is not too much to ask for.. right?
Every man today in the present state of affairs should remember the old saying......" ask not, for whom the bell tolls......it tolls for thee" The days of, till death marriages, are over...My parents were 50 yrs married, mom was a virgin when she met my dad. Keep in mind this generation of girls... a large portion... didn't grow up with their birth fathers in the home....revolving door mom BF's and step dads.....they point out the incarceration rates for males with just a mom raising them is astronomical but they dont expose the fact that girls without their real dads are lost.......They are scared and they use sex for its the only thing they believe in ( wrongly) that will get them what they want and need. Living life without dad at home 24/7 and just seeing dad on a few weekends to buy them gifts and take them to fun places imprints that men are there for giving gifts and fun times......not the dad that will tell you to clean up your room, be home at 10, get off your phone a do your homework, your not going out wearing those clothes......ect.
Wow ! I can totally relate to this 100%. This is so true. You’re describing my own experience and I’m sure the experiences of so many men out there! What a world we live in! I think this is much more common in the West due to feminism
You make the mistake by believing that women are not naturally like this, and that it's just feminism that did it but no actually feminism didn't impose this on women it just gave them the opportunity to express themselves naturally.
I think that graph might be true for men actually exposed to women who are appropriate for dating. I am flabbergasted at how challenging it has been in my life to be just meet real women who are appropriate for dating even though I am consistently putting myself in social environments and doing activities. So that 6 month gap ends up being a lot longer. People who are successful in dating are quite fortunate.
@@lillyCfields The other day I went to a rock climbing gym. It was quite crowded and seemed to me to be a modern mixer for fit people. I don't really know of too many mixers that exist nowadays. I go to social dances and hiking, and there are many elderly persons involved in these activities. Back in the day, dancing mattered. My mom tells me to go to church, but it seems like a lot of effort to find the one or two girls there in the right age range.
@@steveyv963 If you are looking for a wife, then church might be the place to be. But be cautious. I also heard it's a place where women go after they've 'had their fun,' and the wall is on the horizon.
Any woman that has a plan B belongs to the streets, man. That is an integrity issue. Women like that have never truly committed to the relationship in the first place. Also, it's extremely unhealthy for anyone to get into another relationship so quickly, so that particular woman that jumps from one to another is not ready for a healthy relationship. This is not all women, though. This goes for men as well. The solution is learning to properly vet your romantic interest. Men always have options, they just don't know it, because they don't understand the power they hold. Also, women are generally the ones being chosen and approached, so this makes it easy for them, whereas the men are doing the approaching. It takes more effort to do the initiating, and if they do nothing, nothing happens for them due to them being the leaders. Also, women leave most of the time due to a loss of attraction for an extended period of time. The man gets complacent, stops being his masculine self that she fell in love with, and she loses attraction because of it. Most people don't understand that actual love and loyalty transcends romantic attraction for men and women. Love isn't just the feelings. It includes loyalty. Love is the actions that are taken, EVEN when the feelings are not there in the moment. This is not an excuse to be complacent and let ourselves go. It just means that actual love cuts through those imperfections that we all have. Most are not taught this, so they don't understand it, and they don't have an example of it. We are taught to follow our hearts in this world, and that isn't good advice. Our heart gets us into trouble, and often has us regretting our decisions. It's like being feral without any guidance. At the end of the day, we are only human. Even when we know better, making the right choices can be hard, but that is where we decide on how much integrity we have.
Before I had experienced my first crushing breakups, I instictively knew it was better to not fall in love and keep my options open. Thanks for the remimder
I do agree. Some women have had very little breaks between men. I dated a lady who admitted this - she took one self imposed 2yr break. I also know some high value women that have gone years with no activity due to circumstances. I appreciate your breakdown of the reasons.
@@Remianen “High Value Woman” 19-25, young, beautiful, submissive and moldable. Women are born with value, men must create it. That’s why they peak at 25, and us men peak much later in life when we’ve built our value.
Lol that 2 year break is not what a man's break is. IT means hookup and lot sof clubbing and sleeping around. She is talking about relationships. We are talking about s**. She ranked up the body count as now she is ready to be high value and she doesn't do that stuff anymore of course ... yeah right
I too prefer that as well. We as men should apply the same methodology as women. The only requirement for that is that you have to be the best version all out.
Been married 47+ years to the same woman. Last 15 years have been sexless and for 12 years before that only 6 to 8 times a year. At this point we are just roommates. Death can’t come to me soon enough. Hank
I don't want to make fun of you, but by definition your are an incel (and therefore a treat to all women, muhahaha ... if you want to believe the media). Your wife ended her sex life with you and therefore she also ended your sex life (I think without asking you). I doesn't make things better, but you know the many men are in exact the same position. You as a man have to provide for her until you die, but what she is willing to "bring to the table" is only optional. You get no guarantee.
Concise. However, you omitted to added that it is easier to detach if you're the one seeking satisfaction, as opposed to the one expected to be creating satisfaction
I can understand, when I think about men being in their purpose. While this may involve women to a certain degree, that's not always the true goal. This time alone gives men time to reflect on who they are as a person and in this life.💪🏾💯
My purpose has nothing to do with women. My purpose is about personal, professional and spiritual growth. Women are like desert, whether you think you're paying or not, remember one thing YOU are paying. Always!
I’ve observed all of this at 41 I’m out of the game, I’ll only try again when I’m in the best shape of my life. Desire is started with the physical we are all judged this way first. Being not desired sucks especially when you are married.
@@sfrealestatedealmaker6001 Only 100000% ? why not higher? Saying focusing on Self -Improvement is the MOST cliche thing going! Most guys know they have to since they were boys! What ELSE ya got, man?
That’s a great question to ask in the vetting of a woman. “How many of the relationships that youve been in, have been ended by you?” And “why did you end them?” If all her relationships have been ended by her and it wasn’t because of her cheated or was abusive, be skeptical moving forward. Not saying don’t date her, but definitely watch her behavior and actions more closely.
I was taught to marry once and it took me awhile to find someone who was of the same faith who wanted to commit to one person for a lifetime. We have had many bumps in the road, but we both know that we are better people because of our commitment. Marriage isn't a sprint, but rather, a marathon and we continue to choose one another despite the fact that culture comes up with many reasons to bail. I sort of wish that more people would refuse to date anyone who is married. When I was growing up my Mother told me that married women and men were off limits because God will never send someone else's husband or wife to anyone else. She told me that breaking up a family is a serious sin and what goes around comes around. Sometimes I wonder if we need a class on the bedrock of culture: Family.
The other side of the coin, women begin a relationship, find someone they think is better, dump the old boyfriend and go on to the new one. I know a girl like this, she is a single mother, she dumped the father of her children because she thought she saw someone better, and then she dumped that one too for yet another boyfriend and so on. I call her a breakup artist. Women tend to go for certain kinds of men, the men they go for often have multiple partners at the same time, so each man that women prefer is available to multiple women, because he will have sex with all of them every chance he gets, sometimes he leaves women pregnant, and the women think he is so great until they realize he is keeping other girlfriends on the side. My daughter is involved in a long distance relationship, she lives in North Carolina, and he lives in New Jersey. I really hope he is on the level and doesn't have other girlfriends he talks to and perhaps dates after his phone conversation with my daughter is over! I have no reason to be suspicious, but the possibility occurs to me. some people are great actors and can sound sincere when they want to. You have women who do serial monogamy, and men who cheat of their girlfriends, this is how women find it so much easier to get new relationships after they breakup, because the men they find are available to multiple women at the same time, kind of like Bill Clinton in otherwords, or Donald Trump! Rich highly successful men, often fail to be monogamous, they have mistresses, and the women who date them see only their wallet, their bank account, the expensive car they drive, or a yacht, they don't see the other women hiding in the closet!
@@thomaskalbfus2005 And this is why it is VERY important to do the homework! My husband isn't a cheater and neither am I. We were both brought up to believe that cheating is immoral and that it ruins the family. I have a relative who is in law enforcement and she has done backround checks. I never want to daye anyone who is married or sleeping with many different women and not all men will be honest. If men want to do this with women who want that type of relationship, that is their choice. However, I am never sharing my husband. Once the trust is broken there is very little chance of repairing the damage.
@@reginasemenenko148 Very true. I do think that young women do stand a much greater chance of dating a male celebrity than a young man does of dating a female celebrity. Lets say one is a rich man, a young version of Donald Trump, or if you prefer Bill Clinton when he was governor or president, these people had many opportunities to have sex with multiple women and they took it, that is why Donald Trump has been married three times. For a rich and famous male celebrity, there is little downside to having sex with a young woman, if the woman gets pregnant, well that's on her, she put herself out there, the guy figures, anyway he could claim that the child is not his. So the woman gets the baby, born out of wedlock, but she got to have sex with a celebrity and she had his child, if she can prove it, maybe some money will be coming her way. Now reverse the situation, you have a female pop star, lets say Taylor Swift, and an adoring male fan wants to see her in the dressing room. Taylor Swift screams, calls security, the male fan gets arrested for trespassing. Taylor Swift won't date anyone who is not famous or rich like she. She dated a Kennedy once and then he dumped him. Taylor Swift is not going to risk getting pregnant by a stranger who is not famous. The only way a man will have a chance with her is if he is handsome, and either rich or famous, that is the only way!
anecdote: my ex of 10 years was already with a guy before she moved out. Despite being awful to each other and the relationship already being shattered, that she was able to do this was nothing but earth shattering. i can't blame her, we both did some insidious things, but being so dishonest is something i can't relate to. all i got to say is looking back, i ignored many clear messages that it was happening. pay attention, don't let emotions curve your observations, and stay level. been single for over a decade, don't see myself returning. i'd rather make bank and get huge at the gym lol
The employer-employee analogy is excellent. Just as a company will keep you on while they headhunt your replacement and then unceremoniously are you, women do the same to men. Sometimes they even have you train your replacement.
In Affirmative Action promotions, it is the guy who should've gotten the promotion who then is forced to train the person who gets the promotion. People who have not experienced this humiliation have a distorted understanding of Affirmative Action. They think that this would never happen to them because they are good ... and therefore, if you get caught in the Affirmative Action trap, you must therefore be a bad employee, because otherwise it would've never happened to them. And despite the presumption of meeting qualifications, Affirmative Action promotes unqualified people more often than not. This can actually get people killed.
I heard from "somewhere" that oftentimes, when a woman leaves a man, she has an "exit-strategy" that she has been planning and working on (sometimes for YEARS!). 🤷♂️
We all as men seriously need to start talking more about solutions because this is seriously alarming and can lead to some serious consequences for men. We need to figure out a way to combat this and win at it because this is not fair and it’s going to create a lot more problems going into the future.
And saying becoming a Chad or a monk should not be the only answers. Some of us do not want to participate in this Babylon system nor completely opt out.
Men have been talking about solutions for literally decades. Until the LAWS change, the only REAL solution is for all men to go monk at once. But human nature will never allow that. So the LAWS are the only solution. Even with laws in place that don't screw over men unanimously in divorce, the culture will still never go back. No society in history has ever gone backwards to their previous culture and beliefs, and we're headed away from the traditional ways faster than any society in history. There is no turning this back. However, if the laws change, at least, average men will stop getting punished into poverty by choosing a woman who decided to cheat then leave
You can abbreviate this message by asking a basic, fundamental question. Q) Why are women so scathing of men and yet so keen/adept at getting into relationships with them? A) Irrespective of what they say, it simply MUST serve their interests do so so. On balance. Ie they derive a net benefit. And in that you also have the answer to the question, why, by comparison to women, many men eventually end up just walking away from relationships altogether.
Well put. Men are the primary movers of humanity. Men build everything. It's our role to provide. As sentient beings, women understand that unconsciously and do indeed resent that they are less vital to the day to day existence of humanity. Consciously, they take for granted that men need women. Until both are unfulfilled and men abandon what they want to do naturally, which is provide. It's a tragedy.
I will answer your post by reminding you men in their 30s and below are having the least amount of sex on record. Women are not interacting with them because men, on the whole, do not benefit women. Yes, sperm is needed for a family. Yes, a healthy man is required to raise healthy children. Other than that males have no specific use to women. People need people but women do not need men. Men are also starting to not need women as they fall deeper into their drugs, porn and video games.
@@steph6109 Men frequently have very little sex within marriages/LTR's, so sex is no metric. Women have far more wants/needs/demands of men than vice versa. They don't get everything they want (because its utterly unrealistic). This explains their frustration and scathing nature. But they do still derive net benefit by the association simply because they receive more than they offer. That's the only metric that matters. Your analysis is defective.
You forgot to mention that men can date for longer time. Women only have until 40's to look for partner, men can date into their 60's. My father married my mom in his late 50's and it was his second marriage and i believe his first wife, who he had 4 kids with (all around 20 year olds by the time of divorce), couldnt find another man, but he did find another woman. And this phenomenon is what pushes demand for women in their prime years, as men have more time. 20 - 40 year old women (but realistically just 20 - 35 year olds) have attention of 20 - 50/60 year old men. So even in serial monogamy some men have several wives during their lifetime and some men are left with nothing. It is what i believe is called sexual selection. World is cruel.
@@LisaCulton But it is still true that men all prefer the younger women. The advantage that women have in their 20, the period he was covering, is gone by the end of the 30s, and men in their 40s will have more options than women in that decade of life, I would say.
@@khanhcao3123 The point is that the men and women over 40, 50, and 60 already have created a legacy and had children and been married and are looking for other attributes in a partner besides reproduction. It's still rare for a woman or a man to still be never-married and childless at 45. Look around in your family, workplace and community.
@@markaurelius61 Women have already snagged their first husband when she's in her 20s and 30s and she is moving on in her late 30s to 50s. That's what this whole discussion is about.
This is all very fascinating. Thank you! I’m running the numbers in my head and something jumps out. Based on what you’re saying, it would seem overall that more women are in relationships than men. So, it would stand to reason that for these numbers to work out, there must be cases where multiple women are in a relationship with the same man. This would make sense as the dating app world exhibits the same behavior. That is, the upper percentile of high-value men date multiple women. I would think this situation would be rather frustrating and upsetting for women. I’m not sure what’s worse. Not being able to find a mate in the first place, or easily finding one but then having to deal with cheating. I think I might rather go with the former, truth be told. Thank you for an excellent video.
I'm coming to the conclusion that women are often arbitrary and capricious when it comes to ending relationships. Additionally, I am starting to believe that women are incapable of having power over other people without abusing it as they are less capable of operating in a honor or rules based system than men. Obviously there are exceptions (Gaussian distributions exist in many areas) but if the distribution here is Gaussian, I would suspect that the the Kurtosis is negative (i.e., thin tails and most observations clustered around the Mean) and that either the Mean is more toward the solipsistic (not sure if this is the right word) or the skew is tilted toward solipsism. Asking an average woman to operate in such a manner is like asking a Golder Retriever to explain differential equations. Sure the dog may catch a ball every now and then just like a woman may act honorably on occasion. But the dog couldn't explain to you why it was catching the ball and a woman will be at pains to explain why acting honorably is important when no-one is looking or when the woman has the power to have her way. Effectively, I would suspect that the average woman has a harder time in forecasting the longer term consequences of their actions than the average man, or it's that the average man is more adept at working in teams (cue your evo-psyche hunter gatherer explanations) where all team members must be considered and provided for. I wonder if there is any data on this or it is that my observational N is too small and my personal biases are too great. On breaking up, it's one thing when it's just you two in the relationship, but its another thing when there are kids involved. On a society wide basis, the only way you are going to cure this issue is to give men the presumption of custody in family law, but I don't see that happening any time soon. For wealthier men who want kids, they should seriously consider having kids through a egg donation / surrogacy where all female parties legally waive all rights to the kids. Once you have YOUR kids, you can (if you really want - nannies are cheap) invite a woman into your life who has no parental rights to the kids, or you could just date casually. For the love of God, don't get married, have kids (vasectomy?) with any woman or let any cohabitating partner adopt the kids and make sure to have a cohabitation agreement with any woman that covers the areas that may lead to the woman to be considered a common law wife (e.g., no joint tax returns, etc.) in your jurisdiction. On a tactical basis, if you sense any issues with a girl you're dating or a job that you have, you should assume that they are 10 times worse than you think. Women and employers that want to keep you around are unambiguous. If you sense an issue, you are probably already "done." The only way you have a hope in hell of saving the situation (again you probably don't) is to quickly assume that you are done and start preparing to move on. Employers and women will "chase" you hard and fast if you were wrong and if they don't, then you are done, but at least you have a head start for what's next. Additionally (and I hate to say it because it's F'd up), women love drama and if you are supplying the drama in the relationship with her constantly trying to chase you to keep you from leaving, you both may be happier. Just a few thoughts. Edit: Added the last sentence to Para 3 and fixed some typos and clunky phrasing.
@@L30B055 I'm going to tell you something that you are not going to want to hear. If I were you, I'd be spending the weekend getting names of lawyers from anyone you know and calling them all first thing Monday morning to see if they will represent you or could recommend someone who would be a good fit to represent you. I suspect you are already on your way to court and she may be playing nice with you now and giving you a passive aggressive heads up (remember - assume things are 10X worse than you think). Pro Tip: when you call the lawyers, tell them who your baby-momma is and ask them if there is a conflict of interest before you say anything substantive. For the record, I am NOT giving you legal advice here.
Thank you brother! I could’ve used your wisdom 30 years ago…but still valuable now. We’ve got to boost your channel up. This information is too valuable to too many people. Keep it up.
My dating "line" matches the men's, not the women's.. I probably have even more space between relationships than that. As an introvert, I need lots of time by myself to recharge.. can't relationship hop, that sounds exhausting.
@@the_eerie_faerie_tales same, I love my solitude. I’ve only been in 2 relationships, one lasted less than 3 months and the other less than a month, because I hated the fact that I had to constantly talk to them and give up my privacy.
@@LadyyM11 it's hard when you are the one being okay with peace and quiet and the other is... not. I love it when I can find someone I can just chill with (actual chill not "netfix n chill" lol).
@@the_eerie_faerie_tales yeah that’s why I haven’t dated anyone in yrs, people need constant attention in relationships but I don’t think I could do that 😆 I’d be okay with just sitting in silence with someone for a bit and then not having to talk to them for the rest of the week until I have to see them again, that’d be a perfect relationship for me :)
She kept begging you for marriage in order for you to give her the diamond ring, house and kids that she always wanted. And even if the marriage failed, she would be able to keep your money, house and kids through the divorce courts. Marriage (even a failed marriage) is a win-win situation for the wife.
Brother I’m going through this now she’s the most wonderful woman I’ve ever met but like life itself is just a red flag . And I honestly don’t wanna fuck 1 person foreve
This is gold. And this is also why I will never EVER get into a relationship again. I only want to be with women who are into me and sadly this means when they are cheating.
I'm 74 and widowed for about a year. 2 years before I became wodowed 2 married women approached me for a relationship knowing I was married. I declined. Recently I'm suspecting a different married woman is making a move. I'm declining. In the last several months I've discovered the term "modern women". Those women don't appeal to me. They give themselves away with their first few words within about 20 minutes. For me being alone (without someone) doesn't mean being lonely. Being alone in the presence of someone is highly lonely.
Watching stuff like this just fills me with dread. Recently got out of a 9 year relationship with a girl who monkeybranched from me and I’m not terribly optimistic about dating currently.
I think even if a woman didn't put herself in a position to meet someone new, they still have the upper hand because if she reallllly wanted to, she can break up on a Monday and if she's halfway attractive then she will have several suitors ready to take her serious by Wednesday. While men on the other hand, he gotta go through several rejections for weeks, months before finding someone "decent". Even if he meet someone immediately, its a good chance that he behind a long list of other friends that woman already has so now your gotta work yo way up or wait yo turn
This stuff never gets old. But I have gotten all i can… instead of sitting in the hurt of my reality I want to move forward , learn a new skill, foster self love. While I appreciate your perspective doctor, and really like your channel. I personally think I want to live my life freely outside of the constant expectation to perform and prove myself. Furthermore, it is worth noting that women while they have 70% more availability to find a partner, they often choose a small substrata of men. The 10% to 15%, this high demand and low supply create an “inflation “ in this context is mysandry or resentment towards men. Furthering the divide and the information supporting this data. Life is short my brothers. Your manhood is not defined by how much you get laid or attract a female. Indeed, outside of the pressures of gender, you are whole and complete. Do not let anybody, much less a women that sees you as an option prohibit your self love and growth. Walk with you head high and be proud you are breathing. Gracias!
And thats why you are here, to announce to us that you are leaving? LOL Thanks bud, mighty kind of you! I get it, though, i feel like im in a similar dilemma with the thotties! They are a huge amount of work for the little amount of joy they bring us. But NO need to be on the sites, trying to understand women if you made up your mind completely, am i right?
This was a very interesting and funny episode, Orian. I would make a part B describing what happens after the so called "first dating period", that is in the 20s. I am 53, single, no kids, just broke up from a 4 years relationship and the dating game looks so different now compared to my 20s and the 30s, when social interaction and women availability was so much more than nowadays. The Nr. 1 lesson I take from this video is "men take whatever is available". This has happened to me a few times, ie. starting a relationship not fully convinced that this is the right person or, worse, that I am really attracted to her. This leads to nothing good in the long term.
Solid content as usual. Would you consider doing a video about privilege? Specifically, I recently heard the expression that "privilege is invisible to those who have it" applied to beautiful women and handsome men being two of the most privileged types of people in modern day, with beautiful women being argued to be the most privileged people ever. I am curious to hear some of your thoughts on this idea as it seems to align with this video topic and others I have seen so far.
Handsome men are not the most privileged men in modern society, those who have most money and power are. They are the real alpha male of this society who dictate and change our value and desire, like the support to modern feminism to change the hypergamy structure to wield them more resource to them, and less competition with other male. The reason why beauty play a higher role especially for women is that it leads to more material consumption and benefits those big corporations the most, compare to for example a society which puts inner value or spirituality higher than beauty.
Beautiful women are also stalked more, harassed, assaulted, ignored, gamed etc more than a normal woman. ...it's harder to get married actually. Even if you don't have an OF it's still tougher
We should always work on our looks: physique, clothes, grooming all that . Marketing says that it's packaging, not the product itself that wins the market.
My husband and I find your videos to be quite accurate. We are very astute when it comes to male/female relationships, and the many human issues that build them up or tear them down. It is quite refreshing to find someone else who understands these issues thoroughly.
Another reason they move on so quickly is cuz their love is (conditional) based on THINGS a guy gives them (Time, energy, money etc). Guys love the women for who / how they are (ideally). It’s way easier to replace a supplier than a personality. That’s why guys need to develop a personality, charisma, emotional intelligence, control and masculine attractiveness beside having money.
You are one of the straightest shooters in the history of psychology. God bless you for that. This recent phenomenon of matriarchy being infinitely more important than patriarchy has led to an upsetting of the sociological petri dish in which we have to operate. Thank you for defining the new rules. I feel like we are born onto a football field, handed a catchers mitt, and attempting to navigate it with a tennis racket. The rules and the equipment never match the game or the playing field .
Here's a recommendation for you, don't pursue romantic relationships. Instead make friendships, lots of friendships. Yes, with the opposite gender, just friendships. Build yourself a social group of male friends first then consider a romantic relationship with.
It's so true that it hurts. I come from a religious family that absolutely set the game up against me with advice like be serial monogamous, and just focus on making her happy. Nothing bad ever happened to me, but nothing ever really happened to me. I was pummeled with guilt for the 2 physical relationships I had in my 20s and I had to do some serious soul searching to get out of that funk. Right now, I'm pursuing my life dream and almost ready to get back out there. Took 5 years to make that transition though.
Excellent analysis. If men as a collective, in the current environment, want to take back some control, we have to rethink relationships and tackle both the "serial" and the "monogamy" part. I know that conservative/traditional types will not like this but here it is: Do parallel relatinships, have multiple women, make it a condition that they have to share you. And - the hard pill to swallow for many - accept to share them with other men - otherwise the numbers will not work. Women's power comes from the fact that they play us against each other, this approach takes that power away.
I completely agree with you. And I would add that you MUST AVOID CRAZY LIKE THE PLAGUE. It only takes one crazy woman (and a corrupt legal system that seemingly always backs her) to dismantle a successful man.
I would say your advice is pretty bullshit. That will cause even more chaos and damage. As a woman, I think men absolutley need to raise their standards. Stop setteling. Stop dating women who are promiscuous, sl*ts and entiteled. Have standards for yourself as well. Women will then change in order to fit these standards. Unfortunatly, most men won't do that because they are too horny and they rather settle.
That’s no surprise because the man knows his next relationship might months if not years away. So unless the current relationship is really bad the man is really hesitant to breakup. Most men cannot hop from one relationship to another one. Most guys will go 6, 12,24, 36+ months in between relationships
A man's commitment and exclusivity are two of the most powerful tools a man has in his arsenal when dating. Making the aforementioned an EFFECTIVE tool means he has to have done the work to make himself the type of man lots of women seek to get commitment from. Then only give commitment and exclusivity to only the most deserving of your many possibilities. That is assuming you even want a serious relationship.
This dynamic probably changes as adults enter their 30s where men tend to get their stuff together and so become more attractive. Also, I the point of dating and relationships isn't to be the best 'serial dater'- for most people, we date to find a lifelong companion with whom to build a life and have children with. Date as many people as you want but in the end it you just need one committed, loyal , complementary compatible person
Saludos from sunny south FL! Doc, you have the expertise & I respect that, but the elephant in the room on this topic is that as women continue to "explore" options, they become far less desirable for the quality of man they really want. I say this with great respect. Please note, I specifically say & mean the quality of man/partner they really want & perhaps even deserve. A woman having a long history of past intimate partners is generally okay, but for less desirable men. Not so much for higher quality, desirable & men w/ impulse control. Ladies, we can tell, we just don't tell you things we know won't be "heard". Thankfully, those of you who choose to be accountable, you can simply face it, own it, heal, re-invent yourself & you're good. Takes time, time well worth the effort & time itself.
The core of a relationship for a man is to become powerful as hell so that the female you're in a relationship with will never ever want to break up or mess with you anyway possible. Any other ways of looking at relationships will devour a man and lead to mentally and financially costly breakups. So, be the center of your own world without allowing any woman to have the power to move you out of your ground.
The solution is singular, not statistical. It's for each individual to strive to be better and independent of their potential partner. The rest of men are not one man's problem to solve.
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Serial monogamy is a dating strategy that so clearly favors women that I'm consistently surprised when men voluntarily assume it for themselves. The crux of the issue is that it is much easier for the average woman to enter into a new relationship after the end of the old one than it is for the average man. Over time, this leads to significant disparities in experience and opportunity that make it more likely that a woman will end up in a relationship that serves her needs than the other way around. I'll discuss the reasons for all of this in this episode.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#dating #women #relationship
I think it wld be beneficial to start doing how to have a healthy relationship with yourself first, how to validate yourself etc. to recognize in our lives where we may not be healthy before running off into relationships. I will admit feminist have not helped us in the dating process, and marriage arena. There is distrust from men towards women. I don't blame them for it because it has swung so much in the opposite direction taking them to the cleaners. We, both sexes are just miserable now. (In a way, I think this was by design. Divide the males and females, divide families and have lil to hope for.)
I think you were trying to describe "monkeybranching." It's basically a "legal" way that women get away with cheating. That activity--cheating--really deserves to be in quotes, too, because humans are naturally a polygamous species.
MGTOW
You claim the average man will take any woman who will have him, which I assume means you're claiming the average woman is more particular. Has not been my experience at all. I am a non slutty serious female. I am sweet, level-headed, and not materialistic. Also good looking. I am the one who has been screwed over and left hanging the bag in my last few relationships. I woulkd have bene very satisfied to be married with a kid or two by now. Instead I find myself being more and more careful dating each time I'm burned. I don't feel bitter, just sad and confused.
Perhaps I'm just running into men who think like women? Each of them either got a new girlfriend or starting dating exclusively while still dating me or within a few months of breaking up. Meanwhile I was still trying to process being blindsided months later. Also, I would think all bets are off still on HOW mating and dating is working after a 3 year Pandemic. It put a stop to many breakups and kept a lot of single pople from finding new mates. So yeah, as a woman, it would be personally beneficial if one could easily find a guy to move on with. But I'm not seeing the evidence out there whatsoever.
Guys usually like catch and release.
I have lost count of the times my mother has been married (I know it is double digits), but she always had a new guy lined up before she pulled the trigger on a divorce. That combined with the fact that she always came out of the marriage with more money than she went into it with convinced me that marriage was a an extremely bad idea for men.
Now that’s an amazing lesson from a parent. 😂
Im truly sorry you had to endure that
Your mother has issues. There must be a lot of guys who are masochists. After maybe 3 men she is advertising her toxicity.
With all due respect, the guys that married your mum were all stupid. I cannot fathom how any human being could even consider marrying someone how has been married multiple times before. Til death do us path clearly never meant anything to any of them.
There’s a whole lot of people who have no business ever being allowed to marry who make marriage to look like a death sentence to regular, reasonable and probably decent people
@@seraphina2293 No disagreement here. It was like a watching baby seals jump into the water with a great white shark.
Women tend to enter a new relationship BEFORE breaking it off with their SO. Monkey branching is how most women move from one partner to the next. Very rarely is a average to above average woman ever single. Just introduce yourself and she’ll decide whether she’s single or not.
lol
Until she gets into her 40s
@@caucasianafrican1435 depends on the woman. I know a woman now in her 50s who still has no trouble getting dates, even with young men. She's terrified of commitment, which probably is just fine for the younger men anyways who presumably just want a fling, but she's also always the one to break off the relationship (guess how I know...), and she does so as soon as someone else comes along who seems like a better prospect to her. I'd suggest her ability to judge men is very poor and the prospects more often than not worse than the guy she just left, but she just keeps jumping from guy to guy to guy. Into her 50s. As the original post suggests: she's always single for a sufficiently promising looking prospect.
Monkey branching is an interesting alternative to bed hopping, I, for one, wouldn't want to be compared to a monkey, bed hopping makes one sound like a slut. I have another name I like to call women who have a series of monogamous relationships with a string of boyfriends, I call that woman a breakup artist!
@@caucasianafrican1435 I know women who's stayed faithful their entire lives. They exist and are about 40% of all women. I think you can also train at least 20% more of them to stay, just by employing some simple methods.
He literally showed us a graph proving" she's not yours, it's just your turn" this man is doing God's work. Thank you
The game is literally rigged. Don't play this game. MGTOW is really the way
Your way of thinking is so wrong...
@@exnihilonihilfit6316 it's accurate
@@exnihilonihilfit6316 no it is not wrong it is true
God never created women to be used by men.
Takeaway: If you notice your wife or defacto suddenly working on her looks more, start protecting your assets.
Truth
Why wait?
Yes prepare!
😂😂😂
Dude, do so from square one!
But if the men says something he gets labeled as insecure and controlling. Who on their right mind would play this disgusting game
Whatever the man does can be shamed.
@@serge6598 then just do it as women does it; just do it and be quiet... that is what I do and is just amazingly better than other way around
@@IVAN15961 same to you , take care brother
@Quincy Just play it and let them play... serialized monogamy is in the best interests for women, not men; what I usually do is I tell them I am getting to know different women and then choose the one is the best for me... and in contrary in our belief... they play that game so joyfully because that is the game they play...
They should just get sugar babies or prostitutes.
There's a fourth reason why women win at serial monogamy: The legal system is stacked in favour of women, and thus separation and divorce is potentially financially ruinous to men. Alimony and child support (something women never have to pay) reduce men to the state of serfdom, making them an unattractive prospect to a potential new partner.
A man who's sleeping in his car because his ex wife stole his house, doesn't exactly have many options in the dating game.
Population reduction. All part of the plan.
Yes, this is usually the unseen part. A wrecked man is effectively taken out of the dating market, either directly or because he can't afford to date/invest in himself to raise his attractiveness.
Sadly, you are right. One more reason why you should choose VERY cerfully who you end up marrying.
@@sally.g. that's not enough you have to have a contingency plan because the balance of probabilities your going to have to use it. I would even go so far as to warn my future wife if she ever tries to take me to court and demand a payment that leaves me financially destitute I would gladly be a bum and be in and out of jail than live that subservient existence. If you not willing to go hard like this don't get married because you'll probably have to
I’m glad I’m too much of an asshole to get put in that position. I dominate my wife so fiercely that she would never mess with me and I always get my way.
That's why men in relationship must pay attention to their partner's behavior. When there is a break up a lot of men feel blindsided and think it came out of nowhere but in fact the girls had already broken up with them weeks ago, it's just that they hadn't told them. There are pretty clear signs when your girl is getting ready to leave the relationship when you know what to look for. Like I heard someone say : "A monkey doesn't let go of a branch if it doesn't have a new one to hold on to first."
uh,,,, that's why in the RP community, it's called "Monkey Branching". : )
@@neoreign have you ever met a woman that was a good decision maker?
Being in a relationship is a life of constantly being judged by someone while having to also be constantly vigilant against betrayal and disloyalty.
The only men who bother dating are the ones who enjoy being miserable all the time...
But what if we made plans? She asked to go on a [insert the blank fun activity] and you were busy with your marketing campaign for your business, postponing all fun to later. Later you go to pick her up and she says don't call me anymore. But the plan was already made. You already have the perfume and the jewellery in a gift box to give her. What will you do now. You had a plan. Now I just don't care. i don't make plans, I don't think ahead, I forget a girl the day after I talk to her. Don't commit anything to memory.
A honest woman with integrity won't monkey branch ... she will still dump your butt if you are beta though lol. This guy and Coach Corey Wayne and his 3% alpha book go over attraction levels so you won't be blindsided. Women go cold slowly if are bf/gf before being out of love. There are stages and signs similiar to when you first meet her. She may text for example once a week like when you first met before the first date. If it goes BACK TO THIS it means her attraction level is at square 1 and in danger of hitting zero where she is confused and wants to friendzone. If she has a history of monkey branching DUMP HER BUTT as she will do the same to you next. Ask during dates? If she is into you she will hold your hand and show signs of affection and blow up your phone.
Look for these men and if the signs of attraction are there you have nothing to worry about. If she is getting distant than go distant yourself and get busy and set dates just once a week similiar to your 1st date. Women will see what is going on and go oh shoot I don't want to lose him and she will bounce back. Women are emotional creatures and her emotions dictate what her attraction is. Not logic, reasoning, or what a great guy you are, or what you did in the past. Just how she feels NOW
This is one of the best videos I have ever watched as a 55 years old divorced man. I wish I had this knowledge of the sexual market as a young guy. It explains why my first love, could just move right on to another guy
I concur. In my teens and early 20s I knew a woman who could scarcely last a week as a single girl. She had many boyfriends. She was on a mission to land a husband. And her quest bore fruit. She married a guy I knew who became a doctor.
@@Ace.0.0.0. does that doc know of her “past”?
@@themarathoncontinues4211 I think so. She was not a 304 (with me). She could not stay single. I don't think she was a cheater. But she was always looking for a better deal. She & her hubby are the same age. They married quite young. They had a traditional marriage. They are still married, now 40+ yrs. So, it worked for both of them. They had 3 children. And now they are grand parents. Understand, this happened WAY before social media. Meeting people was done the old fashioned way- in real life.
@@Ace.0.0.0. Aahh fair enough. I had a different perception initially of what u meant
Ditto, on all of it.
I'm a serial monogamous guy. Dating multiple women is simply too much work without a big enough return. Would rather be alone. Quality over quantity.
Yes, most women set up a life raft before jumping ship.
you sound like a blue pilled beta male. We're trying to teach you what you crave doesn't exist. If you want that life, go out east.
Here the female version
Same. I’m not going to play the dating multiple women pickup game. I simply don’t care. If I end up single for the rest of my life, that’s fine. Besides, I was married for 8 years and a lot of it wasn’t great anyway.
@@timgibney5590 Practice? I'm 66 and have already had more than my fair share of hot women. just sayin
@@jayedwards7768 These guys still believe in practice and that coaching will get them the ladies. .1- Be tall. 2.- Have wealth or big prospects vs other men 3.- Good looking is a great plus 4.- If you lack in the three prior categories a)get more money if possible b) go to a smaller dating pool where competition might be lower or availability higher.
As a men you can avoid a lot suffering if you put yourself, your family and career and maybe even friends depending how good they are before any girl. If she left, then you lost the 5th most important thing in your life, not that big of a deal. However if you're married, things change. Now your family comes first, that includes your wife. I hope you chose well so she does the same.
As one wise wizard once said:
"Bro's before hoes"
It's hard to choose well when they hide a lot of shit until you're into the marriage
Just don’t sign the paperwork and you won’t suffer the consequences
The 6th if you count the pets.
Women postpone getting married and fewer and fewer are able to get married which is the whole point of dating for women. Being able to be part of many relationship is not what they truly want. So they do not win. They started losing against their own desires in the past few decades. Achieving their long term goals is the game they should be playing, not comparing themselves to men based on one dimension.
True my friend.
But there is always a simp somewhere to save a 304 and give them a relationship
Agreed. PsychHack is entirely off base here. I don’t think anybody is winning in this ‘game’. Maybe just the top chads, but not crazy much. Even they are stuck in a paradox of choice.
@@j.k5654 good point. In other words, women get a Pyrrhic victory.
Yes, but his point is a woman has more chance to find a partner for a long term relationship.
@@RafitoOoO It's more important for them genetically and socially. If they are not coupled most of them feel like failures.
Oh yeah, that absolutely makes sense. The trick is to value yourself and act in a way you’re proud of as opposed to allowing a woman to define you.
Don’t apologize for the clickbait title. Your short-form videos are well worth my time.
I had a GF straight up tell me she planned to leave once she got herself together.
Same, so I kicked her out. she said 'touch me i dare you' so i told her ok you want to play that 'i'm going to get my sisters and female cousins' and left, she was out of there so fast!! lol she's always been "concerned" about my sisters so i used that.
I'm shocked, SHOCKED!
@@neoreign Smart play. Thank you for sharing.
@@joaopaulodasilva4899 I tell them from the beginning, when they ask about family that i have 5 sisters and 12 female cousins. I always make SURE i bring that into the conversations.
The way they talk to you is completely different than if you don't say anything.
I chatted to a girl about local city life every time I bought coffee and sweets in a bakery. She asked me out, wanted to be my girlfriend. We agreed that it's temporary, we just want to spend time together, and when she gets herself together we'll break up, in a about a year. 8 months later I said you're too emotional, we're breaking up now. She went psycho and threw my keys in the river.
This modern world is driving me crazy.
Has always been this way, in the good ole times solomon fucked about 100 of the finest women of that time
Do not let it. You now have information and solid advice. Knowing is your best friend. Go and be strong and informed.
I'm sorry and understand. Take good care of yourself and focus on getting enough you time.
This is what happens when we lose religion. We are now living it
@JC-gw3yo I didn't
I remember when my ex relationship was feeling uncertain...instead rushing to her for certainty i should've gone to the gym and improved my social life. I didnt do that until i was heartbroken.
Besides that learning of ones vulnerabilities and blind spots is a good idea. It's usually what gets us in trouble if we are unaligned with ourselves. It may even result in you leaving the relationship early, then she'll be after you, and you can use her as a back up shag between her breakups, if you allow her that close.
Yep... always _just_ increase your sexual market value.
And this is why I live by the standard of Brefault's law. A woman often marries the lifestyle not the man which is why the man is replaceable never expect female loyalty to you but only to the incentive created by you in the relationship. Love and loyalty are male romantic constructs of the male blue pill mind.
You know whats sad about that? Men as well as women got manipulated from early age on but this whole blue beta pill mindset just hurts men. So basically what everyone is saying now, that man is the gender that can truly love, commit and be loyal but not woman. Even though men as women are both human beings it seems that just one gender is able to truly love. How fucked up is that?
I was blue pilled basically 90% of my life and even though I know the truth now and see it, it still pisses me of. I know its because my expectations and the reality is not the same but whats the alternative? We breath the same air, we talk the same language, we eat the same stuff but nonetheless we arent the same. At some point I will have children, what should I teach my own son? Should I tell him "Son, you are the only gender that is capable of true love, women arent, so keep this in mind", its really sad
@@Nadox15 yup I was red-pilled as a teenager back in 2016 in the mgtow community by Turd Fling Monkey I remember he had a video called She Will Never Love You it was one of his most controversial videos. Where he gave real life examples and a few stats proving Brefault's Law and it was the hardest pill to swallow. Barbarrosa and Stardusk further reinforced it and ever since it's killed my romantic attraction to women anything left is just my 20s hormones and I know it. I remember Barbarossa quoted that book in his video the Rapacious Female Void and I'll paraphrase " Mankind will one day discover the truth so horrifying about ourselves and the universe that to conserve our own sanity we will crawl back into our holes and cling to the ignorance and bliss of a new dark age." I refused to be one of those guys I wish to boldly face the horror of the human condition and not cling to old debunked narratives for comfort. If I have a son I'll tell him to do the same if he wants love get a Dog and a brother to stand beside him. The way things are going it's clear women don't want most men and probably never will again without a societal collapse A.I. Robot girlfriends and artificial wombs are probably the future of men's romantic prospects.
This is 100% correct. A woman often creates an unrealistic (or perhaps delusional) lifestyle in her head and then gets extremely angry and frustrated at her husband if he doesn't live up to those expectations. Either way, it is a win-win for her. If she gets the lifestyle, then great, she's won. If she doesn't get the lifestyle, then she will divorce him and take his money, house and kids, which is another win for her.
@@wingsoffreedom3589You seem very wise for your age. Unfortunately a bit too wise as knowledge can rob your joy.
Absolutely correct. They often marry the lifestyle and then play the game as if it was the man they married. Actually, this was always obvious but it is only now that this phenomenon is spoken out loudly.
Growing up with my dear sister I think it gave me some insight that women often have insecurities in themselves, but, they have the confidence they can change a ”bad” or malfunctioning guy, which makes me think women function in a radically different way in how we view the opposite sex. For me, I am never looking to change anything about anyone, if she fits for me, it is right, I do not look at others as projects at all.
What you're describing is women projecting their ability to change their feelings and thus their minds in what works. For women, if she feels a thing is right, then it's right. So feelings/what is right are fluid. They apply that to a guy. If he feels different, he can actually be different. All they have to do is make him feel different and ta-da, he's fixed. But men don't work that way. It's projection.
This is true but i don't think about fixing a 'bad boy', they're just attracted to someone who makes them feel some type of way, good or bad. That's what the nice guy doesn't understand. Women watch reality shows and crime dramas for a reason, to FEEL a rollercoaster of emotions, up and down, down and up. A nice guy provides stability, calmness, and peace. 20-29 YEAR old girls in the west do not have the MATURITY, emotional maturity for that life.
Bro many men have this too but is a bit different, it's the savior complex, and want to 'fix' a girl. They want to feel like the hero in her life. It's kinda similar to the 'beast tamer' complex women have.
You know what happens when a guy change. I've seen it many times happen.
What you're doing is overcomplicating something very simple. Your sister wants the guys that don't want her, but she justifies it by saying she is trying to "change" them. In reality she is just an option to them. Get her to lower her standards and I guarantee she won't need to "change" anybody because they will meet at the market equilibrium.
I agree with every thing said. I am in my sixties. I have had a number of relationships. Nearly every woman was more trouble then they were worth. Everyone moved on very very fast. A number of them reach out now to me. They are unhappy and would like for me to take them in., but i have zero interest in getting back with any of them. They had there fun, and took advantage of my feelings for them.
Good work.
When you see the foul and the gross flaws, no reason to want to take them back. You know they are awful.
I just turned 60. I've been widowed for 12 years. I suspect there is going to be a lot of homeless women in the near future. Angry that nobody will date them. They were young and broke. Now they are old and broke. Even though I'm 60. I can't date women that look like my grandmother did.
so true! The majority of women in their fifties and sixties look like gramma but think they are hot, young ans sexy. It is disgusting. I had one so bad she came to the door in her bikini. I almost barfed in my mouth. Ladies act your age and admit you have hit the wall.
Nothing wrong with choosing the best option available at any age in life.
You were simply not it then.
In fact, there's a lot wrong in choosing anything else! Self-sacrificing for others is the essence of immorality practically - no matter what the bankrupt moral code of altruism, which rules the West, says.
There's a lot wrong with you not choosing them now if they're the best option currently because of resentment over them (rightfully) not choosing you then. THAT's being self-sacrificing, self-defeating of you! Thus, you're being immoral.
@@exnihilonihilfit6316 They are old and played now. I don't want them anymore.
Women win the dating game just like the example you gave of the employee. It's a means to an end for the employer because he loses little. He had lots of employees. The employee presumably only has that one job so it means much more.
The key to winning any negotiation is caring less about the outcome than your counter party. The freedom to walk away is powerful.
If they really want to keep you around they'll come back with a serious offer . Which is often too late if you're good at what you do and are in demand.
There are TONS of parallels between dating and working, with employees generally in the position of the man dating, and employers as the women. Many of the strategies for being successful in one, will work for the other.
Women in anything involving commitment. Walking away for them is the easiest thing in the world since they have endless options and validation. They have all the power unless you are so highly competent in every area of life that no woman could ever acheive that in 10 lifetimes
Except that men were the employers in Orion's previous (not very good) analogy because they are the ones who establish the company and make the job offer for the woman to accept or reject.
I think the difference why women break up relationships so easy is HOW they perceive men. I think for most we are an emotional experience first, then a person second. In other words, the romantic feelings are more important than the person for whom they supposedly have those feelings. And once those feelings ebb, which they inadvertently must, then it's on to the next male who has no clue.
Of course they run this game until the wheels fall of in their 30s, and even the 40s. Then it's game over.
Think I'm wrong, just look back at a few of your relationships. Or better yet, just ask Pamela Anderson
💯 FACTS.
They love the chase more than the guy.
That’s why we as men need to make them invest more in the relationship and love us for us OR we need to start loving them conditionally as they do us. I make my gf take me on dates… make her invest money in you.
I for one is doing that now. Am with them as long as their selfishness is in check and I make it clear that I love them as long as they acting right or stay the same as during the first 6 months. Once it spills over, am out.
Women start being selfish with a guy when they start losing attraction for him. That’s my marker.
Adios
You're definitely not wrong but the average joe won't see what you even mean. The avg guy right now out there dating, has ZERO clue what we're talking about here. heck i remember the first time i started listening to kevin samuels. I thought he hired those women lol then fresh and fit, i was like 'gtfo they've hired those ladies' lol
That's how lost i was, and i was someone who got out, had friends, went to parties etc. imagine some dude with no friends who has no social circle.
Dude that recent Pamela Anderson was the nail on the head of exactly what you said
@@neoreign I think the average joe experiences women who are fickle and flakey because they think their options and operate in an abundance mindset. I think it’s a self awareness and maturity thing to see what’s going on.
Youve explained it better than any of these red pill gurus ever could
This became clear to me as a teenager in the early 1970s. I think psychologists, relationship counsellors, academics and many lay people knew this. But firstly, the lies, facades, pressure on males to succeed, false male pride and fake bravado, and to be seen to “be in control”, the yet to be used concept of “political correctness” to stifle conversations and the fear of the feminist discourses which victimised women as “the powerless”, meant that truthful discussion about gendered relationships didn’t and couldn’t occur.
It seems the two options available for man will increasingly be reduced to:
1) Becoming very successful and attractive for your own happiness and enjoying women that begin to reach you, but not committing or always being ready to walk away.
or
2) Being intent in following monastic level celibacy. In both cases you would be following the principle that a women is not the main goal of your life.
The alternatives to those would be the guy who is moderately successful with women to the point of, for example, getting married but then caring too much for her company and suffering after divorce etc, or the man who indulges in hedonistic pleasures, such as these AI girlfriends that are beginning to appear and so on.
In brief, become a chad or a monk
The problem is that men make themselves too available to women. I think they are a bit like dogs chasing cars. And if women stopped this dumb idea that they have to "explore their sexuality" and have a 304 phase, much of the attention imbalance would be sorted out, and people would choose better partners and be more content with them.
I agree with this reasoning. I was married and then I dated some after the divorce, including a 2 year relationship many years after the divorce. I’m tired of it all and am working on improving my monk game because I can’t be a chad.
Both you mofos know exactly what you have to do. You just don't want to
Option 3 replace them with technology. Womens evolution and end to their stagnation depends on it. They need real evolutionary pressure put on them. Since time immemorial just being born was enough to procreate no matter how trashy or degenerate.
It seems to me that we are going into a version of Neo-Feudalism. That is, our society is regressing to the medieval period. You can essentially boil down what you said to becoming a Chad (Knight or a successful merchant if you are a commoner) or a Monk (Priest, any role celibate in the Church). Medieval nobles essentially knew this and even as late as the 1700s the first son would be the heir and inherit the father's land. The second son would be a soldier in the army and if noble had the chance to be an officer and general eventually. The third son would be almost always encouraged or even forced to take vows and join the church to become a priest, monk, and work his way up in the church hierarchy as a (usually) celibate man.
TBH the man who indulges in hedonistic pleasures but knows when to back off seems to be a wise fool, in the sense that seeking and maximizing joy over the long term in one's life is a sensible goal in a society that has lost all purpose and meaning. If you are happy with an AI girlfriend, what is wrong with that from a philosophical point of view?
I’ve always wondered why one of my high school classmates always managed to never stay single during her college years onwards. Yes, she was one of the pretty girls, so I thought that was the only factor, but ever since i’ve heard the term “monkey branching”, i’ve had a change in perspective.
Just goes to show how much it sucks being a man. If you do what women do, it’s automatically viewed as cheating by society, but if you be an actual good man and stay faithfully loyal to the girl you’re seeing, it’s a losing game.
4:35: “A women can keep options warm that can potentially be acted on in the future.” (He’s like a brother to me. 😂😂😂)
Lol. My ex ended up with a guy who was "like a brother" right after dating me. Granted, I broke up with her and she was an emotional vampire so he can have her. Poor bastard.
But only if guys allow it.
There are no victims, just volunteers. - Paul Elam
I see his point but disagree with it. With an abundance mindset, you notice the interest you get and you too can keep options "warm". My current gf knows that two of my five closest female friends want me (they told her flat out, "We're just waiting for you to f up" ) and due to timing (they were attached when I was single and now, the opposite is true), they're options sitting on top of Sterno. I think once men figure out that women tend to chase men who aren't chasing them, we'll all be better off.
@@Remianen Agreed. It's a problem with allot of men in that they have small social groups. (Or what's very common now, no social group.)
@@Remianen What kind of social life leads to having five closest female friends when you're not chasing? I live in a new city every year, and that means picking up new girls every year. This time I'm in a city with only old people, and it's pretty lonely.
This is also something to consider when as a man you get into a relationship with a woman: She probably just broke up with her bf a week ago, or maybe she is in the process of doing that. I always found this weird. I've noticed many women didn't seem to care that they just ended a relationship, they can move one quickly and get into a new relationship a day after. I need many days even weeks to recover from a breakup. Maybe it is because I lack effortless options.
Isn't it said that you become desensitized after several (7 iirc) partners, or at least that women do? In other words, they are much less attached to their partners once they rack up their body count. Or they weren't in those relationships for love in the first place, so it doesn't matter to them.
The one who initiates the break up has prepared for it, and it is like a minimal surgery for them. The one who is left behind has a gaping wound and don't even know what happened at first.
W0men don't love like men do. Hence, they "move on" *much* more quickly.
Women have been watching their next mate beat their previous mate to death for thousands of years. Women do not care about men. They care in abstracts, or as a general goodwill toward others, but for their lovers women only consider themselves
@@PcCAvioN well no, this may be true in many cases, but not all. There are plenty of cases where women do stupid things in love's name. Wasn't there some girl who tried to help her Chad or Tyrone escape from prison for example xD I remember she got caught red-handed and sentenced.
Not saying your words have no merit, but I think it's not right to go "wahmen bad," either. Well, I suppose someone can suspect women do those crazy things for love, not the men they love, and I am not sure how to counter that.
Breaking things down into what your win condition is pretty necessary. For example, a man's strengths lies in their ability to play the long game with discipline and ingenuity over a long period of time such as 20 years+. This is how investment portfolios, career networks, and life skills are built. At that point, you will live the life you want I assure you.
Men definitely have a much more long term
Mindset women think about the moment
For me I knew I can get my business off the ground in China in 2014, it's do or bust, because new stifling regulations were coming. In the end a competitor called the police on me and I just gave up on business, tired from fighting the whole world. I always feel it's either crunch time where you must pull all nighters to succeed, or stagnation for many years.
Agreed. I remember grinding in my 20s and 30s thinking, when will I get to chill on that beach, man it was tough. But know at 50+ it’s all up side.
The best thing a man can do is keeping every woman accountable for what she does, not what she says. We need to stay in this together boys! Until the majority of men up their relationship standards, women will get away with such kind of behaviour. And until then, men are better off alone.
I tell them I never listen to the words and from experience they talk allot of bullshit. Females also know they get judged for their past so carefull with their words. Dated enough girls and slept with enough to know the differences.
Easy to say, as we are drawn to them
When divorce was normalized by society all the onus of a marriage are on men, women have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
You're ridiculous. Plenty of women pay alimony. They just don't cry about it on the Internet and go on talk shows to tell their stories.
Alimony is gender neutral. As is gold digging.
Divorce was a SIN! Forbidden! HELL awaits you! Human nature CONFLICTS with rules of society....... We must either forget all those old-school rules or try hard to regain/maintain them! Globalists already found a way: IMMIGRATION! Why do it yourself if other can do it for ya?
OR artificial WOMBS, robot-workers or just. Less people. People are numbers, cattle, consumers, testing grounds.
Unfortunately someone invented alamony.
You're saying men would never want to divorce? If women were not allowed to file for divorce, then no men would have any need for divorce? That says something about men then: treating women as interchangeable creatures. One way or the other, she just fills a role and it could be anyone.
There must always be a mechanism for relationship termination in case the relationship is simply poor and the differences irreconcilable, regardless of whose "fault" it is.
@@roses6564 no, I'm saying back then people fixed their relationships instead of giving up on them. Now that divorce is a normal thing some people change spouses like their change clothes, plus how the judicial system works actively against men, we stand to gain nothing from marriage, only lose. And I say that as a married man and a lawyer who's seen how men get treated in a family court.
Well I’ve been divorced for well over 10yrs and my standards for a new relationship/dating are so high I haven’t met anyone who even comes close to 50% of my expectations. So I remain single and happy!
Agreed. I haven't had more than two dates with the same w0man since 11/2016.
Yep my capabilities and expectations no longer meet.
My solution to that is a one way ticket to Thailand in July.
Smart man soy society no longer produces women with commitment value and even then there's no guarantee they will stay that way. The biggest kick in the balls is that a woman's obligations in a relationship are completely voluntary and can stop well before a divorce ever happens with no repercussions. Contrast that with a man who's obligations can continue well past the divorce and women feel entitled to this not one ounce of guilt over leaving men financially destitute and suicidal
@@adamrandall5163 555
What are your standards?
I did some dating in my 20s, nothing lasted longer than a year or 2 max. Once I hit 30 as a single dude, I just assumed it wasn't in the cards for me and stopped caring. Given the state of the world, I cant imagine having kids anyway, so it's fine.
I have kids, and I am so grateful.
That said.
The dating scene now is a joke.
The problem is, women believe that men be the same as 50 yrs ago, with the difference we should accept whatever rude behavior!?
At the same time they should have the upper hand in everything, from mate selection, to your resources to your relationships.
Fuck all that, get off the apps.
World is in a better state than ever before
@@martinmartin9084 this even applies to the body positivity movement. Women's section- mannequins in all sizes, shapes, colors. Men's section- all with 6 packs
@@sonicjetson6253 think you missed the /s
It is fine, but also sad... It could have been so great! Why can't we just get along?
I also have big troubles in finding a nice female companion.. It almost seems impossible and it drives me MAD!
I want KIDS! A sweet home! CATS! a dog! And a lovely wife! It is not too much to ask for.. right?
Every man today in the present state of affairs should remember the old saying......" ask not, for whom the bell tolls......it tolls for thee" The days of, till death marriages, are over...My parents were 50 yrs married, mom was a virgin when she met my dad. Keep in mind this generation of girls... a large portion... didn't grow up with their birth fathers in the home....revolving door mom BF's and step dads.....they point out the incarceration rates for males with just a mom raising them is astronomical but they dont expose the fact that girls without their real dads are lost.......They are scared and they use sex for its the only thing they believe in ( wrongly) that will get them what they want and need. Living life without dad at home 24/7 and just seeing dad on a few weekends to buy them gifts and take them to fun places imprints that men are there for giving gifts and fun times......not the dad that will tell you to clean up your room, be home at 10, get off your phone a do your homework, your not going out wearing those clothes......ect.
This is known as monkey branching. She doesn't let go of the current branch until after she grabs the next one. Then she lets go and swings away.
To be fair, men do that too
@@AxemanMessiah not really, we don't let go, the branch breaks.
@@NamelessKing1597 I know tons of men who leave thier girl for another one that is significantly younger and youthful.
@@AxemanMessiah Of COURSE you do! And I know a stock tip that beats the market and makes me a $100,00/month! Would you like to hear it? LMAO
@@AxemanMessiah youre right, but that only goes for the men that are able to do so. 80%+ of men cant just randomly monkey branch
Wow ! I can totally relate to this 100%. This is so true. You’re describing my own experience and I’m sure the experiences of so many men out there! What a world we live in! I think this is much more common in the West due to feminism
You make the mistake by believing that women are not naturally like this, and that it's just feminism that did it but no actually feminism didn't impose this on women it just gave them the opportunity to express themselves naturally.
I think that graph might be true for men actually exposed to women who are appropriate for dating. I am flabbergasted at how challenging it has been in my life to be just meet real women who are appropriate for dating even though I am consistently putting myself in social environments and doing activities. So that 6 month gap ends up being a lot longer. People who are successful in dating are quite fortunate.
I feel the same way except the other way around.
@@lillyCfields The other day I went to a rock climbing gym. It was quite crowded and seemed to me to be a modern mixer for fit people. I don't really know of too many mixers that exist nowadays. I go to social dances and hiking, and there are many elderly persons involved in these activities. Back in the day, dancing mattered. My mom tells me to go to church, but it seems like a lot of effort to find the one or two girls there in the right age range.
Look overseas. That's how I found my wife.
@@steveyv963 If you are looking for a wife, then church might be the place to be. But be cautious. I also heard it's a place where women go after they've 'had their fun,' and the wall is on the horizon.
@@brendangolledge8312 where did you find her?
Any woman that has a plan B belongs to the streets, man. That is an integrity issue. Women like that have never truly committed to the relationship in the first place. Also, it's extremely unhealthy for anyone to get into another relationship so quickly, so that particular woman that jumps from one to another is not ready for a healthy relationship. This is not all women, though. This goes for men as well. The solution is learning to properly vet your romantic interest.
Men always have options, they just don't know it, because they don't understand the power they hold.
Also, women are generally the ones being chosen and approached, so this makes it easy for them, whereas the men are doing the approaching. It takes more effort to do the initiating, and if they do nothing, nothing happens for them due to them being the leaders.
Also, women leave most of the time due to a loss of attraction for an extended period of time. The man gets complacent, stops being his masculine self that she fell in love with, and she loses attraction because of it. Most people don't understand that actual love and loyalty transcends romantic attraction for men and women. Love isn't just the feelings. It includes loyalty. Love is the actions that are taken, EVEN when the feelings are not there in the moment. This is not an excuse to be complacent and let ourselves go. It just means that actual love cuts through those imperfections that we all have. Most are not taught this, so they don't understand it, and they don't have an example of it. We are taught to follow our hearts in this world, and that isn't good advice. Our heart gets us into trouble, and often has us regretting our decisions. It's like being feral without any guidance. At the end of the day, we are only human. Even when we know better, making the right choices can be hard, but that is where we decide on how much integrity we have.
I think you are trying to take over the docs job, and failing. These women are just bad
Before I had experienced my first crushing breakups, I instictively knew it was better to not fall in love and keep my options open. Thanks for the remimder
I do agree. Some women have had very little breaks between men. I dated a lady who admitted this - she took one self imposed 2yr break. I also know some high value women that have gone years with no activity due to circumstances. I appreciate your breakdown of the reasons.
Just one question. What exactly is a "high value woman"? I'm unfamiliar with the concept. (Not being snarky or sarcastic, I'm genuinely curious)
@@Remianen “High Value Woman” 19-25, young, beautiful, submissive and moldable.
Women are born with value, men must create it. That’s why they peak at 25, and us men peak much later in life when we’ve built our value.
Lol that 2 year break is not what a man's break is. IT means hookup and lot sof clubbing and sleeping around. She is talking about relationships. We are talking about s**. She ranked up the body count as now she is ready to be high value and she doesn't do that stuff anymore of course ... yeah right
"On the other hand the guy is just left there holding hizdik." That was incredible.
This would be mean that dating multiple women for an extended period of time, then choosing the best option is the way to go
I too prefer that as well. We as men should apply the same methodology as women. The only requirement for that is that you have to be the best version all out.
Been married 47+ years to the same woman. Last 15 years have been sexless and for 12 years before that only 6 to 8 times a year. At this point we are just roommates. Death can’t come to me soon enough. Hank
"See" other waman in secret.
Its not immoral in your situation
@@josmith1815 I live my life with honor and by a code which will not have me behaving in that way.
Sorry brother, hope something improves.
Sorry Hank. Sometimes I wish people came with a "sexometer" or sexual desire barometer.
I don't want to make fun of you, but by definition your are an incel (and therefore a treat to all women, muhahaha ... if you want to believe the media). Your wife ended her sex life with you and therefore she also ended your sex life (I think without asking you).
I doesn't make things better, but you know the many men are in exact the same position. You as a man have to provide for her until you die, but what she is willing to "bring to the table" is only optional. You get no guarantee.
57 years old. You have put my thoughts into words. Thank you my friend. I have given up on love long ago and am happy.
1) Never marry a woman ... 2) Never tell women on dates that you will never get married or even shack up.
Concise. However, you omitted to added that it is easier to detach if you're the one seeking satisfaction, as opposed to the one expected to be creating satisfaction
Thanks!
I can understand, when I think about men being in their purpose. While this may involve women to a certain degree, that's not always the true goal. This time alone gives men time to reflect on who they are as a person and in this life.💪🏾💯
My purpose has nothing to do with women. My purpose is about personal, professional and spiritual growth. Women are like desert, whether you think you're paying or not, remember one thing YOU are paying. Always!
Man you continuously have been on key with your talks. Thanks for the insight.
I’ve observed all of this at 41 I’m out of the game, I’ll only try again when I’m in the best shape of my life. Desire is started with the physical we are all judged this way first. Being not desired sucks especially when you are married.
I spent way too many years with a woman who needed someone, but never needed me...she just settled for me.
Focus on self improvement 100000%
@@sfrealestatedealmaker6001 Only 100000% ? why not higher? Saying focusing on Self -Improvement is the MOST cliche thing going! Most guys know they have to since they were boys! What ELSE ya got, man?
Dr. Von's: because they get bored! she already conquered you, and now she pines for the NEXT conquest! hypergamy is NEVER satisfied.
That’s a great question to ask in the vetting of a woman. “How many of the relationships that youve been in, have been ended by you?” And “why did you end them?” If all her relationships have been ended by her and it wasn’t because of her cheated or was abusive, be skeptical moving forward. Not saying don’t date her, but definitely watch her behavior and actions more closely.
I was taught to marry once and it took me awhile to find someone who was of the same faith who wanted to commit to one person for a lifetime. We have had many bumps in the road, but we both know that we are better people because of our commitment. Marriage isn't a sprint, but rather, a marathon and we continue to choose one another despite the fact that culture comes up with many reasons to bail. I sort of wish that more people would refuse to date anyone who is married. When I was growing up my Mother told me that married women and men were off limits because God will never send someone else's husband or wife to anyone else. She told me that breaking up a family is a serious sin and what goes around comes around. Sometimes I wonder if we need a class on the bedrock of culture: Family.
The other side of the coin, women begin a relationship, find someone they think is better, dump the old boyfriend and go on to the new one. I know a girl like this, she is a single mother, she dumped the father of her children because she thought she saw someone better, and then she dumped that one too for yet another boyfriend and so on. I call her a breakup artist. Women tend to go for certain kinds of men, the men they go for often have multiple partners at the same time, so each man that women prefer is available to multiple women, because he will have sex with all of them every chance he gets, sometimes he leaves women pregnant, and the women think he is so great until they realize he is keeping other girlfriends on the side.
My daughter is involved in a long distance relationship, she lives in North Carolina, and he lives in New Jersey. I really hope he is on the level and doesn't have other girlfriends he talks to and perhaps dates after his phone conversation with my daughter is over! I have no reason to be suspicious, but the possibility occurs to me. some people are great actors and can sound sincere when they want to. You have women who do serial monogamy, and men who cheat of their girlfriends, this is how women find it so much easier to get new relationships after they breakup, because the men they find are available to multiple women at the same time, kind of like Bill Clinton in otherwords, or Donald Trump! Rich highly successful men, often fail to be monogamous, they have mistresses, and the women who date them see only their wallet, their bank account, the expensive car they drive, or a yacht, they don't see the other women hiding in the closet!
@@thomaskalbfus2005 And this is why it is VERY important to do the homework! My husband isn't a cheater and neither am I. We were both brought up to believe that cheating is immoral and that it ruins the family. I have a relative who is in law enforcement and she has done backround checks. I never want to daye anyone who is married or sleeping with many different women and not all men will be honest. If men want to do this with women who want that type of relationship, that is their choice. However, I am never sharing my husband. Once the trust is broken there is very little chance of repairing the damage.
@@reginasemenenko148 Very true. I do think that young women do stand a much greater chance of dating a male celebrity than a young man does of dating a female celebrity. Lets say one is a rich man, a young version of Donald Trump, or if you prefer Bill Clinton when he was governor or president, these people had many opportunities to have sex with multiple women and they took it, that is why Donald Trump has been married three times. For a rich and famous male celebrity, there is little downside to having sex with a young woman, if the woman gets pregnant, well that's on her, she put herself out there, the guy figures, anyway he could claim that the child is not his. So the woman gets the baby, born out of wedlock, but she got to have sex with a celebrity and she had his child, if she can prove it, maybe some money will be coming her way.
Now reverse the situation, you have a female pop star, lets say Taylor Swift, and an adoring male fan wants to see her in the dressing room. Taylor Swift screams, calls security, the male fan gets arrested for trespassing. Taylor Swift won't date anyone who is not famous or rich like she. She dated a Kennedy once and then he dumped him. Taylor Swift is not going to risk getting pregnant by a stranger who is not famous. The only way a man will have a chance with her is if he is handsome, and either rich or famous, that is the only way!
@@reginasemenenko148 i wonder how many women are like you and how to spot them.
there is a lot of ego in males even married ones
Social media has completely changed the game, in favour of women.
They would say it favors alpha males.
If you see her constanly on her phone, look out !!
anecdote:
my ex of 10 years was already with a guy before she moved out.
Despite being awful to each other and the relationship already being shattered, that she was able to do this was nothing but earth shattering.
i can't blame her, we both did some insidious things, but being so dishonest is something i can't relate to.
all i got to say is looking back, i ignored many clear messages that it was happening.
pay attention, don't let emotions curve your observations, and stay level.
been single for over a decade, don't see myself returning. i'd rather make bank and get huge at the gym lol
Same playbook monkey branch.
The employer-employee analogy is excellent. Just as a company will keep you on while they headhunt your replacement and then unceremoniously are you, women do the same to men. Sometimes they even have you train your replacement.
In Affirmative Action promotions, it is the guy who should've gotten the promotion who then is forced to train the person who gets the promotion. People who have not experienced this humiliation have a distorted understanding of Affirmative Action. They think that this would never happen to them because they are good ... and therefore, if you get caught in the Affirmative Action trap, you must therefore be a bad employee, because otherwise it would've never happened to them. And despite the presumption of meeting qualifications, Affirmative Action promotes unqualified people more often than not. This can actually get people killed.
Brilliant channel. I broke up with my ex and boom she’s in a new relationship 2 weeks later. 3 months later she’s in a serious relationship.
Ya , serious, for how long on the next victim
I heard from "somewhere" that oftentimes, when a woman leaves a man, she has an "exit-strategy" that she has been planning and working on (sometimes for YEARS!).
🤷♂️
We all as men seriously need to start talking more about solutions because this is seriously alarming and can lead to some serious consequences for men. We need to figure out a way to combat this and win at it because this is not fair and it’s going to create a lot more problems going into the future.
And saying becoming a Chad or a monk should not be the only answers. Some of us do not want to participate in this Babylon system nor completely opt out.
The solutions are found in most of the planets countries it's called arranged marriage
@@Genevasplaytime yo facts
Do Not Marry
Do Not Cohabitate
Do Not Give Them Children
Never text. Tell her you are an in person, or phone convo person, but not an app
Men have been talking about solutions for literally decades. Until the LAWS change, the only REAL solution is for all men to go monk at once. But human nature will never allow that. So the LAWS are the only solution. Even with laws in place that don't screw over men unanimously in divorce, the culture will still never go back. No society in history has ever gone backwards to their previous culture and beliefs, and we're headed away from the traditional ways faster than any society in history. There is no turning this back. However, if the laws change, at least, average men will stop getting punished into poverty by choosing a woman who decided to cheat then leave
You can abbreviate this message by asking a basic, fundamental question.
Q) Why are women so scathing of men and yet so keen/adept at getting into relationships with them?
A) Irrespective of what they say, it simply MUST serve their interests do so so. On balance. Ie they derive a net benefit.
And in that you also have the answer to the question, why, by comparison to women, many men eventually end up just walking away from relationships altogether.
Well put. Men are the primary movers of humanity. Men build everything. It's our role to provide. As sentient beings, women understand that unconsciously and do indeed resent that they are less vital to the day to day existence of humanity. Consciously, they take for granted that men need women. Until both are unfulfilled and men abandon what they want to do naturally, which is provide. It's a tragedy.
@@Tormalima don't know about the "less vital" part. I'd say it's just society induced narcissism.
I will answer your post by reminding you men in their 30s and below are having the least amount of sex on record. Women are not interacting with them because men, on the whole, do not benefit women.
Yes, sperm is needed for a family. Yes, a healthy man is required to raise healthy children.
Other than that males have no specific use to women. People need people but women do not need men.
Men are also starting to not need women as they fall deeper into their drugs, porn and video games.
@@steph6109 Men frequently have very little sex within marriages/LTR's, so sex is no metric.
Women have far more wants/needs/demands of men than vice versa.
They don't get everything they want (because its utterly unrealistic). This explains their frustration and scathing nature. But they do still derive net benefit by the association simply because they receive more than they offer.
That's the only metric that matters.
Your analysis is defective.
You forgot to mention that men can date for longer time. Women only have until 40's to look for partner, men can date into their 60's. My father married my mom in his late 50's and it was his second marriage and i believe his first wife, who he had 4 kids with (all around 20 year olds by the time of divorce), couldnt find another man, but he did find another woman. And this phenomenon is what pushes demand for women in their prime years, as men have more time. 20 - 40 year old women (but realistically just 20 - 35 year olds) have attention of 20 - 50/60 year old men. So even in serial monogamy some men have several wives during their lifetime and some men are left with nothing. It is what i believe is called sexual selection. World is cruel.
Women can date and marry over and over past their 50s and 60s and beyond. Don't be fooled.
@@LisaCulton But it is still true that men all prefer the younger women. The advantage that women have in their 20, the period he was covering, is gone by the end of the 30s, and men in their 40s will have more options than women in that decade of life, I would say.
@@LisaCulton hmmm no. Women over 40 can't give a man a legacy and have too much emotional damage.
@@khanhcao3123 The point is that the men and women over 40, 50, and 60 already have created a legacy and had children and been married and are looking for other attributes in a partner besides reproduction. It's still rare for a woman or a man to still be never-married and childless at 45. Look around in your family, workplace and community.
@@markaurelius61 Women have already snagged their first husband when she's in her 20s and 30s and she is moving on in her late 30s to 50s. That's what this whole discussion is about.
This is all very fascinating. Thank you!
I’m running the numbers in my head and something jumps out.
Based on what you’re saying, it would seem overall that more women are in relationships than men.
So, it would stand to reason that for these numbers to work out, there must be cases where multiple women are in a relationship with the same man.
This would make sense as the dating app world exhibits the same behavior.
That is, the upper percentile of high-value men date multiple women.
I would think this situation would be rather frustrating and upsetting for women.
I’m not sure what’s worse. Not being able to find a mate in the first place, or easily finding one but then having to deal with cheating. I think I might rather go with the former, truth be told.
Thank you for an excellent video.
That's why humanity never thrived for millions of years.
To the men they're sleeping with, they aren't in a relationship at all. They're either side-piece or main-chick. Only deluded XXs believe otherwise.
I'm coming to the conclusion that women are often arbitrary and capricious when it comes to ending relationships. Additionally, I am starting to believe that women are incapable of having power over other people without abusing it as they are less capable of operating in a honor or rules based system than men. Obviously there are exceptions (Gaussian distributions exist in many areas) but if the distribution here is Gaussian, I would suspect that the the Kurtosis is negative (i.e., thin tails and most observations clustered around the Mean) and that either the Mean is more toward the solipsistic (not sure if this is the right word) or the skew is tilted toward solipsism. Asking an average woman to operate in such a manner is like asking a Golder Retriever to explain differential equations. Sure the dog may catch a ball every now and then just like a woman may act honorably on occasion. But the dog couldn't explain to you why it was catching the ball and a woman will be at pains to explain why acting honorably is important when no-one is looking or when the woman has the power to have her way. Effectively, I would suspect that the average woman has a harder time in forecasting the longer term consequences of their actions than the average man, or it's that the average man is more adept at working in teams (cue your evo-psyche hunter gatherer explanations) where all team members must be considered and provided for. I wonder if there is any data on this or it is that my observational N is too small and my personal biases are too great.
On breaking up, it's one thing when it's just you two in the relationship, but its another thing when there are kids involved. On a society wide basis, the only way you are going to cure this issue is to give men the presumption of custody in family law, but I don't see that happening any time soon. For wealthier men who want kids, they should seriously consider having kids through a egg donation / surrogacy where all female parties legally waive all rights to the kids. Once you have YOUR kids, you can (if you really want - nannies are cheap) invite a woman into your life who has no parental rights to the kids, or you could just date casually. For the love of God, don't get married, have kids (vasectomy?) with any woman or let any cohabitating partner adopt the kids and make sure to have a cohabitation agreement with any woman that covers the areas that may lead to the woman to be considered a common law wife (e.g., no joint tax returns, etc.) in your jurisdiction.
On a tactical basis, if you sense any issues with a girl you're dating or a job that you have, you should assume that they are 10 times worse than you think. Women and employers that want to keep you around are unambiguous. If you sense an issue, you are probably already "done." The only way you have a hope in hell of saving the situation (again you probably don't) is to quickly assume that you are done and start preparing to move on. Employers and women will "chase" you hard and fast if you were wrong and if they don't, then you are done, but at least you have a head start for what's next. Additionally (and I hate to say it because it's F'd up), women love drama and if you are supplying the drama in the relationship with her constantly trying to chase you to keep you from leaving, you both may be happier.
Just a few thoughts.
Edit: Added the last sentence to Para 3 and fixed some typos and clunky phrasing.
@@L30B055 I'm going to tell you something that you are not going to want to hear. If I were you, I'd be spending the weekend getting names of lawyers from anyone you know and calling them all first thing Monday morning to see if they will represent you or could recommend someone who would be a good fit to represent you. I suspect you are already on your way to court and she may be playing nice with you now and giving you a passive aggressive heads up (remember - assume things are 10X worse than you think). Pro Tip: when you call the lawyers, tell them who your baby-momma is and ask them if there is a conflict of interest before you say anything substantive. For the record, I am NOT giving you legal advice here.
It also costs a lot less for women financially too to meet a new guy
Good point and correct. Time for them to pay for the room. They all have credit cards
One of the best channel ever
Thank you brother! I could’ve used your wisdom 30 years ago…but still valuable now. We’ve got to boost your channel up. This information is too valuable to too many people. Keep it up.
My dating "line" matches the men's, not the women's.. I probably have even more space between relationships than that. As an introvert, I need lots of time by myself to recharge.. can't relationship hop, that sounds exhausting.
so you feel ok, even 'safe' being single for a bit?, I ask because I feel many women can't be without a relationship
@@seribelz oh yes most women are not good with it but I am.. maybe too good.. guess I have the opposite problem.
@@the_eerie_faerie_tales same, I love my solitude. I’ve only been in 2 relationships, one lasted less than 3 months and the other less than a month, because I hated the fact that I had to constantly talk to them and give up my privacy.
@@LadyyM11 it's hard when you are the one being okay with peace and quiet and the other is... not. I love it when I can find someone I can just chill with (actual chill not "netfix n chill" lol).
@@the_eerie_faerie_tales yeah that’s why I haven’t dated anyone in yrs, people need constant attention in relationships but I don’t think I could do that 😆 I’d be okay with just sitting in silence with someone for a bit and then not having to talk to them for the rest of the week until I have to see them again, that’d be a perfect relationship for me :)
I'm so glad I didn't marry my ex even though she kept begging me to. 💪🏼
Dodged the proverbial bullet.
She kept begging you for marriage in order for you to give her the diamond ring, house and kids that she always wanted. And even if the marriage failed, she would be able to keep your money, house and kids through the divorce courts. Marriage (even a failed marriage) is a win-win situation for the wife.
Brother I’m going through this now she’s the most wonderful woman I’ve ever met but like life itself is just a red flag . And I honestly don’t wanna fuck 1 person foreve
Very Clear Thinking about a complicated & important topic... Yes that fits with my view of our society. 😊 👍 -70SomethingGuy
This is gold. And this is also why I will never EVER get into a relationship again. I only want to be with women who are into me and sadly this means when they are cheating.
I say treat them the way they treat you.
I'm 74 and widowed for about a year. 2 years before I became wodowed 2 married women approached me for a relationship knowing I was married. I declined. Recently I'm suspecting a different married woman is making a move. I'm declining.
In the last several months I've discovered the term "modern women". Those women don't appeal to me. They give themselves away with their first few words within about 20 minutes.
For me being alone (without someone) doesn't mean being lonely. Being alone in the presence of someone is highly lonely.
If your health is ok, visit the Philippines.
@@GUITARTIME2024Thank you. No. I'm happy here.
and the bible says, better to live on the roof, than be with an angry woman
No one wins, they just get a head start. everyone ends up bitter and alone now.
That is what I am seeing too. I use to feel for Eve in the garden.. She was just BAD
This one’s so eye opening and true based on my 40+ years of life and divorces. I’ve been a serial monogamist and all it’s done is hurt me.
At last i have found balance and reciprocity, nothing in exchange for nothing.
Watching stuff like this just fills me with dread. Recently got out of a 9 year relationship with a girl who monkeybranched from me and I’m not terribly optimistic about dating currently.
listen to all this content you can. I believe your only chance is a God feariing woman. And just because she goes to church, doesn't qualify anything
I think even if a woman didn't put herself in a position to meet someone new, they still have the upper hand because if she reallllly wanted to, she can break up on a Monday and if she's halfway attractive then she will have several suitors ready to take her serious by Wednesday. While men on the other hand, he gotta go through several rejections for weeks, months before finding someone "decent". Even if he meet someone immediately, its a good chance that he behind a long list of other friends that woman already has so now your gotta work yo way up or wait yo turn
Totally agree with our host 100%. I will say all relationships I've had the women asked me out first, and all but one 40 years ago I ended first.
This stuff never gets old. But I have gotten all i can… instead of sitting in the hurt of my reality I want to move forward , learn a new skill, foster self love.
While I appreciate your perspective doctor, and really like your channel. I personally think I want to live my life freely outside of the constant expectation to perform and prove myself. Furthermore, it is worth noting that women while they have 70% more availability to find a partner, they often choose a small substrata of men. The 10% to 15%, this high demand and low supply create an “inflation “ in this context is mysandry or resentment towards men. Furthering the divide and the information supporting this data.
Life is short my brothers. Your manhood is not defined by how much you get laid or attract a female. Indeed, outside of the pressures of gender, you are whole and complete. Do not let anybody, much less a women that sees you as an option prohibit your self love and growth. Walk with you head high and be proud you are breathing. Gracias!
And thats why you are here, to announce to us that you are leaving? LOL Thanks bud, mighty kind of you! I get it, though, i feel like im in a similar dilemma with the thotties! They are a huge amount of work for the little amount of joy they bring us. But NO need to be on the sites, trying to understand women if you made up your mind completely, am i right?
Thank you, well put!
All facts.
Excellent post, thank you for taking the time to write it out!
Brilliant facts there
This was a very interesting and funny episode, Orian. I would make a part B describing what happens after the so called "first dating period", that is in the 20s. I am 53, single, no kids, just broke up from a 4 years relationship and the dating game looks so different now compared to my 20s and the 30s, when social interaction and women availability was so much more than nowadays. The Nr. 1 lesson I take from this video is "men take whatever is available". This has happened to me a few times, ie. starting a relationship not fully convinced that this is the right person or, worse, that I am really attracted to her. This leads to nothing good in the long term.
Solid content as usual. Would you consider doing a video about privilege? Specifically, I recently heard the expression that "privilege is invisible to those who have it" applied to beautiful women and handsome men being two of the most privileged types of people in modern day, with beautiful women being argued to be the most privileged people ever. I am curious to hear some of your thoughts on this idea as it seems to align with this video topic and others I have seen so far.
Handsome men are not the most privileged men in modern society, those who have most money and power are. They are the real alpha male of this society who dictate and change our value and desire, like the support to modern feminism to change the hypergamy structure to wield them more resource to them, and less competition with other male. The reason why beauty play a higher role especially for women is that it leads to more material consumption and benefits those big corporations the most, compare to for example a society which puts inner value or spirituality higher than beauty.
Beautiful women are also stalked more, harassed, assaulted, ignored, gamed etc more than a normal woman. ...it's harder to get married actually. Even if you don't have an OF it's still tougher
We should always work on our looks: physique, clothes, grooming all that . Marketing says that it's packaging, not the product itself that wins the market.
@@hspinnovators5516agreed except I would say they do not get ignored more. In fact the attention can be suffocating
Very insightful analysis, I've never thought it under this perspective but it's actually totally correct.
My husband and I find your videos to be quite accurate. We are very astute when it comes to male/female relationships, and the many human issues that build them up or tear them down. It is quite refreshing to find someone else who understands these issues thoroughly.
woman are no good
I already noticed this but am very glad to see you bring it up. Cheers.
Be careful how you get em most likely that's how you'll lose em.
Absolutely true Dr. I was trapped and cheated, lied and betrayed, I am healing, Thank you.
Another reason they move on so quickly is cuz their love is (conditional) based on THINGS a guy gives them (Time, energy, money etc).
Guys love the women for who / how they are (ideally).
It’s way easier to replace a supplier than a personality.
That’s why guys need to develop a personality, charisma, emotional intelligence, control and masculine attractiveness beside having money.
no, it is why we need to shun narcissistic behaviour which promotes man being suppliers of attention for women.
Except men who do develop a personality are not primary targets for women.
@@Specoups
FACTS man.
And they leave them for those without a personality 🤣🤣🤣
@@j.k5654why would you want those women anyway? Honest question. Let them go with someone else.
@@Tormalima
🤣🤣🤣🤣
I know right.
You are one of the straightest shooters in the history of psychology.
God bless you for that.
This recent phenomenon of matriarchy being infinitely more important than patriarchy has led to an upsetting of the sociological petri dish in which we have to operate.
Thank you for defining the new rules.
I feel like we are born onto a football field, handed a catchers mitt, and attempting to navigate it with a tennis racket.
The rules and the equipment never match the game or the playing field .
Pretty depressing. And I'm 31 and never been in a relationship.
Don't be. Focus on enjoying life and leaving your contribution.
Don't tell a lady that when you get into one, they will use it against you. That's your own private info.
Don't worry, they are pretty much 💩. A waste of time & money & increased stress in my opinion (as an average guy).
Get into one and figure it out yourself. Why listen to anybody?
Here's a recommendation for you, don't pursue romantic relationships. Instead make friendships, lots of friendships. Yes, with the opposite gender, just friendships. Build yourself a social group of male friends first then consider a romantic relationship with.
This is why it's always good to Spin plates no matter what
It's so true that it hurts. I come from a religious family that absolutely set the game up against me with advice like be serial monogamous, and just focus on making her happy. Nothing bad ever happened to me, but nothing ever really happened to me. I was pummeled with guilt for the 2 physical relationships I had in my 20s and I had to do some serious soul searching to get out of that funk. Right now, I'm pursuing my life dream and almost ready to get back out there. Took 5 years to make that transition though.
Dating landscape is crap. Do NOT date blindly.
Excellent analysis. If men as a collective, in the current environment, want to take back some control, we have to rethink relationships and tackle both the "serial" and the "monogamy" part. I know that conservative/traditional types will not like this but here it is: Do parallel relatinships, have multiple women, make it a condition that they have to share you. And - the hard pill to swallow for many - accept to share them with other men - otherwise the numbers will not work. Women's power comes from the fact that they play us against each other, this approach takes that power away.
I completely agree with you. And I would add that you MUST AVOID CRAZY LIKE THE PLAGUE.
It only takes one crazy woman (and a corrupt legal system that seemingly always backs her) to dismantle a successful man.
I would say your advice is pretty bullshit. That will cause even more chaos and damage. As a woman, I think men absolutley need to raise their standards. Stop setteling. Stop dating women who are promiscuous, sl*ts and entiteled. Have standards for yourself as well. Women will then change in order to fit these standards.
Unfortunatly, most men won't do that because they are too horny and they rather settle.
That’s no surprise because the man knows his next relationship might months if not years away. So unless the current relationship is really bad the man is really hesitant to breakup. Most men cannot hop from one relationship to another one. Most guys will go 6, 12,24, 36+ months in between relationships
It is time men wised up. If she is not super woman, keep a wandering eye
Yes it fits perfectly with my experience. I won't make the same mistake again, my time is better served working on myself.
A man's commitment and exclusivity are two of the most powerful tools a man has in his arsenal when dating. Making the aforementioned an EFFECTIVE tool means he has to have done the work to make himself the type of man lots of women seek to get commitment from. Then only give commitment and exclusivity to only the most deserving of your many possibilities. That is assuming you even want a serious relationship.
This Was PHENOMENAL
This dynamic probably changes as adults enter their 30s where men tend to get their stuff together and so become more attractive. Also, I the point of dating and relationships isn't to be the best 'serial dater'- for most people, we date to find a lifelong companion with whom to build a life and have children with. Date as many people as you want but in the end it you just need one committed, loyal , complementary compatible person
I love how much your channel has grown! I have been watching since close to the start. Appreciate the insight
I love this, I realized this is college. A girl would date a guy, dump him then date another within months. That's when I became Red Pilled
Saludos from sunny south FL!
Doc, you have the expertise & I respect that, but the elephant in the room on this topic is that as women continue to "explore" options, they become far less desirable for the quality of man they really want. I say this with great respect. Please note, I specifically say & mean the quality of man/partner they really want & perhaps even deserve.
A woman having a long history of past intimate partners is generally okay, but for less desirable men. Not so much for higher quality, desirable & men w/ impulse control.
Ladies, we can tell, we just don't tell you things we know won't be "heard".
Thankfully, those of you who choose to be accountable, you can simply face it, own it, heal, re-invent yourself & you're good. Takes time, time well worth the effort & time itself.
The core of a relationship for a man is to become powerful as hell so that the female you're in a relationship with will never ever want to break up or mess with you anyway possible. Any other ways of looking at relationships will devour a man and lead to mentally and financially costly breakups. So, be the center of your own world without allowing any woman to have the power to move you out of your ground.
Facts!
Sad that we have to look at relationships as a power dynamic, but "c'est la vie"🤷🏿♂️
Ask Tom brady
I'm clicking because of you
Not the title ❤
I see the problem you describe but what I really would like to see is a solution.
The solution is singular, not statistical. It's for each individual to strive to be better and independent of their potential partner. The rest of men are not one man's problem to solve.
Love your work man, it's brilliant