Before you start dating DUTCH MEN
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- Опубліковано 5 сер 2024
- If you've been dating in the Netherlands but no luck and you are asking yourself this question thining “Why isn’t it working out with Dutch men?”, this video is for you!
In this video, I will discuss how dating in the Netherlands usually goes. So you will understand Dutch dating culture and know what to expect from Dutch men and when. I’ll also include some tips and things you should consider so let’s have a little girls’ chat.
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Content of the video:
00:00 Intro
00:26 Disclaimer
00:46 Stages of dating
09:57 Serious intention?
10:36 Ontro
#expats #movingabroad #datingadvice #datingtips #thenetherlands
👉 Watch my other videos:
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Moving to the Netherlands in 2024: ua-cam.com/video/AdaPSeD7EMI/v-deo.html
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my bf is Dutch and im American, he is brutally honest and abrasive at times but he values honesty and he truly cares. he is very logical and practical, im very sensitive and intuitive. it does seem to take a long time for them to take the relationship seriously but they usually commit once they are sure about things.
Thank you for sharing your experience! I can imagine that it might not be easy to navigate his logical side while you are yourself being intuitive but it sounds like you are doing well 💙
We Dutch men have heard of this word 'romance' but we are still trying to figure out what it means...
its because we're efficient. romance is the opposite. so we can't compute
Ill give you a hint Peter. Is the way you act when you really like something.
@@mevr.valladares You mean jumping up and down while yelling 'I want her, I want her!'
that is just terrible. and a huge turn-off.
Lol, you are correct, my sir.
I’m a Dutch guy and the idea of seeing someone “once in a blue moon” during the first six months sounds totally weird to me.
Thank you for sharing your perspective. How often would it be for you if you had to quantify it?
@@theselfishcodependent As often as possible. For example, I’ve been seeing a woman for around four months now(we live a 20mins walk from each other) and we see each other four or five times a week. Sometimes she stays for the night, other times we’ll just go for a walk with my dog. We both enjoy spending time alone too and we give each other that space.
Hmm, i am a Dutch single.
First stage is a bit of texting, but i do prefer videocalls or, just meeting with each other.
I want to see what kind of person you are, and generally see are you a good person.
But also are you interested in my life too.
I would like to see she makes an effort too!
I do not mind being a gentleman and pay the time we spend together.
2nd stage in my point of views. We regularly meet each other romanticly.. see were we align with each other.
And also in this stage i ask her that we can be exclusively with each other.
Also in this stage i ask her te be my girlfriend.
3rd stage. This is really just how we align with eachother.
We could be moving in from 3-6 months up to several years.
In this stage before moving in with each other.. we really really want to commit with each other.
Because we have to make some big changes in our lives to combine our lives together.
Work, house etcetera,
4th stage after some time when you moved in, you ask her if you want to be engaged with each other.
Then after a year or 2, you go for a marriage.
Thank you for watching the video and sharing your approach!
I’m on the same page with you
Appreciated the detailed re romance ❤
I know like an instance one Dutch family. They are together around 20 years, have two kids but they still don't married. For me it's TOO strange they are live together so many years and called each other "partner "
Thnx for the disclaimer 😊
Of course:) I know that not everyone is like this. 🤗
I am Brazilian-italian , I have never asked a girl to go out for a date (not saying because I am proud of it but it has just never happened, I am kinda slow , that’s why I have always been anticipated by girls in asking that question) so it might be the perfect country from me lol 😂 . I guess it also happened because I am very choosy so it is very hard for me to ask for a date before having really realized that the girl Is good for me and I am good for her above all. But in general I don’t really like dates “the ones when you go out with a person you don’t know yet ”. I only like to date someone who I already know, usually it started more like a friendship and it later developed
As a Dutch person I don't see a difference between exclusive and a relationship, Maybe I'm just old.
Thank you for sharing! It's also fair.
I had the same but after living several years in other countries I do understand it more now
I guess most of your video made sense until you mentioned friendgroups being seperate. Personaly I've always introduced people I was dating to my friends & family pretty early on, and most of my friends did the same. In fact I've been told by people of various different backgrounds that it was surprising how much friends are a part of the dating process. It's even been mentioned on several similar video's as this one... perhaps it's different when dating within or around the expat community or some other type of bubble.
Also dating various peope at the same time is not really a regular thing either, if it is it at least has to be mentioned, but unless it's only been one date it's not at al normal to be dating other people, let alone sleeping with others.
Thanks for watching and sharing your experience. If your or your friends' experience is different from what I described in the video, it only helps see how different people are. And it's so beautiful. :) As I said in the video: I only talk about my experience and what I've heard from others. There is no absolute truth, not in what I've said but also not in what you've shared.
I love the videos you make about dating in the Netherlands! I am only a month here, but I would love to explore the Dutchies in love! ❤❤❤️
Very happy to hear that my videos could help a little! :)
I have been a single/divorced male since 1992, had 2 kids both are married with kids (yep am a grandfather) from the USA Oklahoma and if in Netherlands my perfect date would be bike riding, stop for coffee tea something sweet to eat. More bike riding and if both agree, then make another bike riding date. How is that for you Dutch men?? As a date suggestion? FYI February 2024 I will be a happy healthy 70 years young/old. NOT KIDDING...go bike riding Dutch men with a woman...
Absolutely love this! Thank you for watching and sharing. :)
Where did the days go that you were taken home after a date because that would make you feel safe instead of the other way around…
Just think of us Dutch men als the “Vulcans” of Europe. Honest to the bone and logical but kind 😊
Dutch are not romantic hmm ?
Romantic for me is a picknick in the park.
That wasn't 'expensive' enough to some ladies and they dropped me on the spot.
Their loss, I married the next girl who did like it.
Sounds fun, and I'm glad to hear you found a person who likes the same things as you do. ;)
I think we are to be honest, but it depends on how you/other woman react. Don’t want to waste time over nothing. So maybe a tip if u date a Dutch guy, show you mean it and want it. And then go to Efteling together! 🙂
We are not romantic but practical.
In most often the case, we wouldn´t want to date foreigners at all because our way of thinking will clash and therefore not wanting to waste any time to make it work.
Dating within the Dutch culture is lets just say very formally average.
And do not forget that Dutch people are very individualistic thinking too, as we love our own free time..
It's doesn't matter which culture. I am not Dutch but I also love my free time too!!!!
Seems to me people are overthinking the whole relationthing nowadays.
Charming Lady 🙂
I’m dating a Dutch man.. He is truly amazing.. ❤️🦄🦖❤️
If he looks like me: of course
Dinner or movie first
Now i understand more about girls from my country who are in the relatioships with the Dutch men. They usually have big problems with these guys because they don't understand the expectations and the norms.
I observe relationships of other foreignes and the Dutch girls. If the guy moved from his country to Netherlands for a girl then the relatioship will go down in flames within a few years at best.
I think that most succesful relatioships i saw here were between Dutch men and Dutch women.
Thank you for watching the video and for your comment!
I feel like you think in a very realistic way, which is refreshing. Is it a Russian thing to be very realistic (not so moralistic)? I guess it could be looking at Russian history.
Dutch women are like that too. I agree with everything she says and i'm dutch. Dutch men must grow the hell up, make up their minds, grow balls and really go for a woman if she's worth it.
in the 90's maybe !
I think a Dutch guy has feelings for me, but he never told me anything. If he feels it, I'll never know, because I'm a shy person.
Sending love!
@@theselfishcodependent No way 🫣🤭
Sounds like n=1 anecdotal evidence. Or did you actually date more than 1 Dutch guy?
i'm dutch, 45. She is right.
The dutch men are playing the "not needy" part. Looks like he is not intrested. It is caused by dutch women. He must be able to control himself.
In meanwhile they are needy as hell, wanting to leave all options open; no balls, no honor, as if they are not even worth real women. Good luck with your futures guys.
@@branding01 You're a ball of fun aren't you. Seen your other comments as well and the frustration is palpable 😅
This sounds... really boring. I mean for me it sounds like dating a robot, and personally, i would probably not think he's interested in me at all, if he behaved like this and it would take 6 MONTHS!!! to actually get together.
I understand what you mean. I guess you come from a culture where men tend to be more proactive?
@@theselfishcodependent I'm from germany, so not really. But they can be creative and are definitly more spontaneous when it comes to dating.
well indeed. that's how it really is. And if they don't change, these...boys..they'll stay alone and this seems to become reality.
@@QuinnQuell-yt3zm "But they can be creative and are definitly more spontaneous when it comes to dating". To me this sounds like a communication issue. If either one of you wants to see the other more you should be able to say it and with some luck they will feel the same way and things will progress faster. Just expecting more spontaneity from the guy without having mentioned it before (and I mean mentioning it, not vaguely hinting, we Dutch like the directness) will only end in disappointment.
I like how it was mentioned in the video that most of these things that are precieved as 'different' are mainly based on equality and respect for the woman. Self reliance is a very big thing for many Dutch women and a decent man will respect that. Or so I've learned... 😊
@@shoelacedonkey i understand what you mean, but for me this is also a question of character. I mean it is okay, if you think that way, and i understand why, but for me that wouldn't be a match 🤷🏽♀️
And i don't want to form another person to my liking and complain that they are not spontaneous. If they are not, thats how it is. If everything else is fitting however, i might not mind.
In the end just put some effort in the thing, where is the fun if you don't? (Ofc that also applies to the girls)
gettin half your car is the law ya it is
This thing you said about South Americans ,25 being serious.
Not in Brazil. We dont grow up fast. In fact it is the opposite.
Interesting! Thank you for sharing your experience!
vrouw en man zijn equal her !!
milly cyrus is dutch the drama
At least youre not an expat man trying to date Dutch women...its basically impossible
I am planning to make a video about that as well! Hopefully it will help a bit :)
Most of this video is nonsence.
From the moment I make a date, I am careful about some details.
An average young woman spends the night twice a month with a date minimum.
So, now suppose she lives in Nijmegen and she studied there as well: means that she was there at least 5 years.
When she selects a bar, you can be sure that you will see there many men with whom she
had coffee early in the morning.
So: big risk to be exchanged; known is safer than unknown.
Better go to a different city; there are plenty in NL.
Then: when she does not spend the first date night, I drop her, as she made up her mind not to spend any night with me. It happens--happily not too much.
When sex is nice, and she is not a golddigger--as so many are-- I continue; but for what and how, depends on her, circumstances and so.
Clear she is living in 18th century....
Dating here is boring. Especially Dutch girls :)
Where is dating less boring then?
dutch men are the most handsome men in the world,tall and handsome...and they know it
Lies
@@wagwangal79 not lies,and dutch woman are used to it ,good luck dating a dutch woman they are used to tall handsome dutch men.
YOU ARE NOT EMANCIPATED ENOUGH. MAYBE.
Glad she isn't. Because as a dutch women, i can say that dutch men, are not men anymore but boys. With exeptions there ofcourse. Real men are across the border in all other cultures. And they know how to be one. Neoliberal society fucked it all up here, it seems.
jij ben nogal ouderwets
Daarom moeten Nederlandse meisjes-vrouwen met een Latino daten... Helemaal anders! 🙈
Helemaal mee eens het schip zinkt
American here, this is why I chose to date a Latino or Southern from the states. They are very romantic and assertive, more traditional... depending on where in the south with moderate views.