Guys get the ridge, they support us! www.ridge.com/tim to get 10% off a ridge wallet. And support our other sponsor omaxhealth.com/ use code TIM for 20% off sitewide Bonus Episodes: www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow
@_Hedura_ I did unintentionally. Moved to another country for a short job which went on for 20yrs and continues. They're all nice enough people, but out of a huge family there's only one i miss, kind of, but not really. I'm thankful not to be involved in all the family squabbles i hear about in their occasional emails.
I hadn't heard the term "garlic knot" used as a descriptor for meathead guidos before. I live in the forgotten wastelands of upstate New York, so I'm rarely behind the epithet curve. Thanks for keeping me current, Tim. (Hi, Ben.)
I live in NY as well it's so great to hear the epithets from regionlized areas in NY and NJ . Garlic Knot must be Long Island lol - Personally "Sauce Monkey " is the best . I am Italian myself and think its hilarious.
Thank god i was bout to slit my wrists in my tub before I got the notification for this episode, now I’m laughing and drinking myself into oblivion. Thank you Tim
Remember to not cut too deep, you don't want to cut too deep and fuck the nerves that go to you hand, if additional cuts are needed your hands will be useless.
What’s fucking hilarious is that pretty much 2 days after Chris made that insane rant video about getting motivated and beating the beast, he made another video about how important it is to just lay down and rest lmao.
1 year later I’m listening to this Easter Sunday podcast and it still holds true, Tim Dillon is the perfect mixture of hilarious and earth shatteringly real, he speaks the truth and needs to be protected at all costs
You know when you bump into someone making tons of content, and when you get to know them there's this whole fucking big archive of stuff they already made you can check out? Like some content treasure or whatever. Yeah i just bumped into Tim Dillon for the first time... and i got that feeling. Feels good, thank you Tim
“If you want Big Gains you have to take Big Risks. Get comfortable with Death. Murder. Extortion. Blackmail. Violence. Corruption. Betrayal. These are things you’ll need to get very comfortable with to succeed in America”. - Tim Dillon
What Tim Dillon says at the end about people living in their own realities devoid of objective facts is so true. It is already happening. People already just ignore and pretend certain facts don't exist when those facts don't fit in with their politics, religion, or world view.
THANK YOU!!! Your podcast has been an amazing break from these times. You have a gift of gab that is unmatched. You have helped create a lot of positive vibes in central Pa. So I've "lived a colorful life". Your war stories are so well put and your stance on pretty much everything is really appreciated. During the last month your content is completely spot on. Rock on.
Same here I got deathly ill in late November early December and it lasted weeks (2019-2020) damn near went into January, lung issues couldn’t catch my breath they couldn’t pinpoint what it was they thought It was pneumonia and bronchitis at the same time and I almost never get sick, I was on antibiotics steroids and using a nebulizer 3-4 times a day I thought I was going to die and then boom, a pandemic and I didn’t connect the 2 until months later, and when he brought it up I was like “oh I’m one of those people” lol, I’ve never had the antibodies test but I’ve been tested for Covid and it was negative but that was far after I was sick with the lung issues among other symptoms
First heard of Tom Dillon yesterday on J. Rogan. Once Tom Dillon started destroying the cruise ship people I had to subscribe. Relentless. I’m 38 and I haven’t laughed tears like this in a long time. Much appreciate right now during this shit show situation.
my favorite type of conservative talk. lmaoo tim u need a deep dive show with alex jones and rogan where you all entertain all possible realities for 5 hours
59:20 "When did the sign language people start losing their minds?" lmfao... A month ago at one of the corona press conferences I noticed that the Ohio governor's sign language lady's facial expressions and gesticulations looked certifiably insane.
Congrats You are now the funniest comic in the world. I was laughing at this podcast more than I have laughed in a while. So I hope you enjoy your title.
"You know, this Quanretine really makes you think; It really makes you realize, that the most important thing in the world... is to have a lot of money. Lots and lots and lots of money. Love is meaningless. And your family and your friends (in many cases) are obstacles to... to *truly* what you can do. You have to throw those people away. As quickly as possible. Push them in front of trains." -Tim Dillon
Guys get the ridge, they support us! www.ridge.com/tim to get 10% off a ridge wallet.
And support our other sponsor omaxhealth.com/ use code TIM for 20% off sitewide
Bonus Episodes: www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow
The Ridge Wallet©
Be the most streamlined hipster piled up in the refrigerated trailer.
Please have sam tripoli on. Thank you.
RR yummmm...
Is China insisting on countries adoption of Huawei 5G in return for medical relief packages a real thing?
@@m0tionblur48 You can find the same quality off brand wallets on AliExpress
The best thing about Tim is that when you get him talking long enough he'll inevitably tell you to leave your family
This made me lol 😂
@_Hedura_ I did unintentionally. Moved to another country for a short job which went on for 20yrs and continues. They're all nice enough people, but out of a huge family there's only one i miss, kind of, but not really. I'm thankful not to be involved in all the family squabbles i hear about in their occasional emails.
@@morningstar9233 you sound crazy
@@jcmtaz4 i wish them well
He probably has some experience regarding this. A sad truth made into a joke.
Been snorting blue chews al night waiting for this. LIFE IN THE BIG CITY
You can snort them?
@@Trent_Moorman you can snort anything.
Its a knife fight out there... Hope you keep tocking the fake business world buddy!
I’m snorting blues too (perc 30s)
This is still one of my favorites
Tim Dillon is my favorite thing about Saturday nights now.
Tommy Vaughn Life in the big city
Tommy Vaughn Cancel Your Family is another good episode. It’s from the porch era of the show
@Tommy Vaughn Put It On The Ham is a funny one
3am episode, and eat the rich are 2 of my favorites..and rudy guiliani and the river of gold 😂😂😂 audio only, but worth it
This episode is truly perfect start to finish and has aged perfectly.
It's hard to find a miss
I hadn't heard the term "garlic knot" used as a descriptor for meathead guidos before. I live in the forgotten wastelands of upstate New York, so I'm rarely behind the epithet curve. Thanks for keeping me current, Tim. (Hi, Ben.)
I live in NY as well it's so great to hear the epithets from regionlized areas in NY and NJ . Garlic Knot must be Long Island lol - Personally "Sauce Monkey " is the best . I am Italian myself and think its hilarious.
Red Palace Ikr?? I'm in love with this phrase now lmao
Tim Dillon: Best Buy employee of month.
The only Best Buy employee to sell jewels that came from him selling them a sub prime mortgage in the car speaker section. Legendary man. Yes or yes?
Looking back, this is probably Tim's best ever episode. Just line after line of hilarity
Golden era of podcast for sure
I seriously think that after every episode. Best ever! 😂
This truly might be the greatest podcast ever created.
IDK what Ridge is paying Tim for the sponsorship but he deserves more. That was BY FAR the best sales pitch I've ever heard.
Jewels By Tim Dillon 2021 Sales Convention on the Diamond Princess.
I’ll book a port side suite and attend all presentations via zoom in my cabin
And not a single jewel will be present on the entire ship. Anyone who asks about the lack of jewels will be called a loser and thrown overboard.
@@environmentart life in the big city
Thank god i was bout to slit my wrists in my tub before I got the notification for this episode, now I’m laughing and drinking myself into oblivion. Thank you Tim
Could I interest you in some jewels by podcaster Tim Dillon
This kid is wild!
Remember to not cut too deep, you don't want to cut too deep and fuck the nerves that go to you hand, if additional cuts are needed your hands will be useless.
Lol...you sounded like those commercials on san andreas gta radio.
Lucky that that weekend wasn't a late release
first time listener here. I decided to finally check this out and the way tim's mind works when hes ranting is interesting and hilarious
Welcome! The porch episodes are a great place to start
What’s fucking hilarious is that pretty much 2 days after Chris made that insane rant video about getting motivated and beating the beast, he made another video about how important it is to just lay down and rest lmao.
This is my favorite quarantine pod
I love how his producer helplessly keeps laughing involuntarily.
Tim Dillon gives me the courage to get and stay sober
Hope you are cool
@@iducatifan1 i miss being cool.😢
Do drugs. Drink booze. Live happy.
You should do heroin
Better than any Easter egg surprise: waking up to see The Tim Dillon Show has a new episode!
1 year later I’m listening to this Easter Sunday podcast and it still holds true, Tim Dillon is the perfect mixture of hilarious and earth shatteringly real, he speaks the truth and needs to be protected at all costs
@@dakotadad8835 😂same
@@dakotadad8835 Just recently became a fan, and this is easily the most accurate description of Tim’s comedy that I’ve seen so far.
You know when you bump into someone making tons of content, and when you get to know them there's this whole fucking big archive of stuff they already made you can check out? Like some content treasure or whatever.
Yeah i just bumped into Tim Dillon for the first time... and i got that feeling. Feels good, thank you Tim
I’ve never laughed harder in the first minute of a podcast in my life.
I used to date a guy who used to sing that song to me all the time. I laughed soooo hard too. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Those of us in rehab appreciate you, Tim.
Have you heard of Jordan Peterson?
Lol jk
You're allowed to have your phone in there?
Yo remember how good drugs feel mmmm tasty
Imagine going to rehab lmao
@@dankestranch8738 bet you do meth head
“If you want Big Gains you have to take Big Risks. Get comfortable with Death. Murder. Extortion. Blackmail. Violence. Corruption. Betrayal. These are things you’ll need to get very comfortable with to succeed in America”. - Tim Dillon
Sauce monkey is now my new favorite derogatory term. Thank you tim 😥
Nobidy is sick apparently ir has horror stories..Just Tim is great. Lol...stupidity if these people. Keep sending manioulators.
"The deaf are an issue" - Timmy D
Best ad reads in the whole god damned game.
Ikr? I always forward through podcast ads, but I listen to all of Tim's.
“Family; friends; accomplishments - I know a lot of people with those - and I gotta be honest with ya’: meh.”
😂 💯
This is one of the best episodes hands down. Tim was on it that day
Agreed.
Life in the big city
Beasts of suburban
Happy Easter Dennis,
"Life in the Big City"
Great stuff Timbo Slice! I think you are the funniest in the game.
Timbo Slice; I see what you did there. (tip of the hat) 👍
I always read the comments but somehow missed Timbo Slice, lol. It’s a Knife Fight out there.
How do you feel about xrp?
Timothy mcdillon
Most consistently funny podcast I've found so far. The first 30 seconds had me laughing.
Tim has the best quarantine content of anyone out there. His takes on things are absolute fire.
Golden era of podcast
This was the one Tim. Looking forward to future content. Thanks man
This is the funniest podcast out there by a landslide. Thank you Tim and Harry Potter producer
What Tim Dillon says at the end about people living in their own realities devoid of objective facts is so true. It is already happening. People already just ignore and pretend certain facts don't exist when those facts don't fit in with their politics, religion, or world view.
Tim I’m an internal medicine physician and those symptoms are from diabetes not covid-19.
Every weekend I get tanked in the bath listening to Tim Dillon. My life and mental health have honestly never been better.
Highly reccomend.
The reality is... that’s the reality
Tim's alcoholism stories are the best.
First 30 seconds are gold already haha
Tim looks like a blueberry muffin and his twink looks like a grape
Ya hungry m8?
So cute
@@jamesmurphy8530 hes dating Megan Mccain
@@nonofyourbusiness7631 meghan mccain ONLY dates FATHER
i love yr comment ab tim being a muffin
Best ridge wallet ad i've ever seen. And i've seen plenty
Tim: "Let's continue with Chris Cummo, who doesn't have Coronavirus." Cummo: "I know..."
Chris cummo
🤣🤣🤣
Oh god I needed this so bad
how are you not more famous? you're the funniest guy i've heard in a while
This show has me in tears constantly hats off man
Even though tim is obviously in a deep dark spiral, still the best ad reads in existence
I ♡ Tim Dillon and everything he represents.
Except being gay
@@deven9565 especially being gay
THANK YOU!!! Your podcast has been an amazing break from these times. You have a gift of gab that is unmatched. You have helped create a lot of positive vibes in central Pa. So I've "lived a colorful life". Your war stories are so well put and your stance on pretty much everything is really appreciated. During the last month your content is completely spot on.
Rock on.
“IM A FOCKIN GORLIC KNOT.” HAHAHAAAAAAA
I mean honestly the way Tim views his addiction now seems pretty healthy, proud of him
I fell asleep 5 minutes before my only stability in this worlds weekly drop. ty Tim for the angry center in these crazy times.
“Whatever boot is on your neck is the one I support!” 🤣 prophetic tho lol
Fantastic! Thank you Tim and Ben for the high quality entertainment during these shitty times! Great episode!
I just made up a story so I could leave the house and drive around listening to this.😂😂
stoned to da gills lets get iiiiiit!!
Popped a blue chew, worked on some fake business. It’s the best way to prep for listening to the pod. Yes or yes?
"This guy is a tough guy, he couldnt handle the word frato." Funny as hell the whole intro amazing
Fredo
Tim is going to become the greatest broadcaster of this generation and networks will be fighting over him in 5 years or less.
2 more years..
And I'm actually rooting for this to come true
I was that guy who was telling ppl I was sick in early January lmaoo I feel attacked Tim
Same here I got deathly ill in late November early December and it lasted weeks (2019-2020) damn near went into January, lung issues couldn’t catch my breath they couldn’t pinpoint what it was they thought It was pneumonia and bronchitis at the same time and I almost never get sick, I was on antibiotics steroids and using a nebulizer 3-4 times a day I thought I was going to die and then boom, a pandemic and I didn’t connect the 2 until months later, and when he brought it up I was like “oh I’m one of those people” lol, I’ve never had the antibodies test but I’ve been tested for Covid and it was negative but that was far after I was sick with the lung issues among other symptoms
Holy cow that Ridge Wallet ad read was probably the funniest shit I’ve heard on a podcast in years! Was laughing my ass off at convenience store Lol
Tim "whatever boot is on your neck is the one that I support" Dillon
This masterpiece of a podcast made me laugh so hard on the street that some lady looked at me very concerned
Love it! First timer after seeing you on Rogan. This Neanderthal is still watching snow melt near Lake Superior. Thanks for the entertainment!
i've never seen a show where the ads are as good as the content if not better
It’s rare that the ad’s are some of the funniest moments, only seen two of these shows and I’m lovin it!
First heard of Tom Dillon yesterday on J. Rogan. Once Tom Dillon started destroying the cruise ship people I had to subscribe. Relentless. I’m 38 and I haven’t laughed tears like this in a long time. Much appreciate right now during this shit show situation.
My Dillon enlightenment happened a few weeks ago. God damn am I laughing my ass off at work people probably are like wtf
"we're the same species and you're treating me like this".
God that is sad. So simple and sad.
Ben: Lite Beer
Tim: How can you even be proud of that lmao
One of Tim's best episodes....I'm going into the Patreon archives to find the Nick Bryant podcasts
Fredo on a headfull of Blue Chews diggin in that Ridge Wallet!
my favorite type of conservative talk. lmaoo tim u need a deep dive show with alex jones and rogan where you all entertain all possible realities for 5 hours
I just sanitized my ridge wallet. Now I'm ready for the show.
I love you Tim, truly.
Probably the funniest end of a podcast I’ve heard in a while Keep it up big fan
You were awesome on JRE.
Open-minded and kept all ideas on the table. Plus comedy.
My wife just told me couple days ago: “Unfortunately beauty will not save the world.” She is unemployed make up artist now.
Human demise would restore this world's beauty.
The last 90 seconds of this clip are just..... WOW!
Tim Dillon Show is the only podcast that matters right now
Tim Dillon and Covid20 are going on tour in July.
Tim made me want to drink.. and its 7 in the morning!
I miss getting drunk at 7 am
FINALLY TIM YOU HAVE TO MAKE MORE THAN ONE PER WEEK FFS HELPPP
Get the patreon. Its 5 bucks a month
Mike he makes more on Patreon ya cheapskate
He makes 19767$ a month on patreon
Tim called it again! He never misses!
'We're the same species and you still treat me like this!?' 43:20 I think he was particularly hilarious in this ep
The Chris Cuomo rant almost gave me asthma attack
That's Corona
"Are you a fanook?" 💀
59:20 "When did the sign language people start losing their minds?"
lmfao... A month ago at one of the corona press conferences I noticed that the Ohio governor's sign language lady's facial expressions and gesticulations looked certifiably insane.
the rant that starts at 23:35 really feels like some rick and morty shit
Tim Dillon begins to preach the real dark arts at 1:05:43 Scary stuff.
Another fun thing for Easter is quiche
Congrats You are now the funniest comic in the world. I was laughing at this podcast more than I have laughed in a while. So I hope you enjoy your title.
how does tim get fatter through this whole ordeal?
3:02
''what ever boot is on your neck, thats the one im going to support''
Been looking forward to this all week!
I wonder what Ken Bone is thinking during this trying time
Ray Kump>Ken Bone
Thinking about how to keep selling jewels by podcaster Tim Dillon during the quarantine
You got me crying of laughter, love you and keep the healing comedy coming!!
just started watching tim dillon's podcast. This is literally the funniest podcast ever oh my fucking lord
Very refreshing to have found a comedian that just doesnt give a f**k. Like the good ole days.
HAHAHAHAHHA I LOVE OYOUBF SO MUCH IM TRIOPPING BALLS AND DANCIN SROUND WHILE THE WORLD IS ENDING
I need that intro as a jingle for my alarm
"You know, this Quanretine really makes you think; It really makes you realize, that the most important thing in the world... is to have a lot of money. Lots and lots and lots of money. Love is meaningless. And your family and your friends (in many cases) are obstacles to... to *truly* what you can do. You have to throw those people away. As quickly as possible. Push them in front of trains." -Tim Dillon