The _"I want a man with money" is the same sentiment as _"I want a woman with looks"_ because as soon as money runs out or looks fade away, then it's ok to dump either of your partners... and this is a horrible way to approach relationships
100%. People nowadays are too caught up in the pursuit of and desire to attain wealth and beauty, that they lose sight of what actually contributes to long-lasting relationships. Strong relationships aren't superficial or materialistic.
But women *do* want men who can provide, and men *do* want attractive wives. It's not so they can dump each other when those things are gone - it's so they have healthy children. Evolutionarily, that's why those desires exist.
Whi the f*ck is gonna date a woman with that kind of an attitude - I wouldn't want to feel sorry for any bloke who actually dates her because that would mean that they don't respect themselves. And this is coming from a SAHW whose husband pays the bills but doesn't have that kind of an entitled attitude.
Regarding the orange peel theory, I think people are missing a bigger point here. If you are “testing” your partner about ANYTHING, you do have a problem, and it’s not HIM. A real relationship doesn’t require tests.
Agreed. It is a shit test. That's it. The REAL telling part is the fact that if your girlfriend is filming it to share this nonsense, that is a serious red flag. Why does she need to do this? Is it too difficult to discuss a problem in the modern age? Or does she need validation of her concerns first from a bunch of meaningless random people on social media? Advice for the women: If there is an issue, don't do this crap. Talk to the guy. If he won't, then assess if he is right for you and if not, move on. You do deserve to know where you stand without being strung along. But so does he. Men hate these things, and no matter how many times it gets expressed, women still think it's clever. It isn't. It is more likely to blow up in your face. Remember ladies, no matter how many supporters you have for this, they only care until the next scroll. Then you are old news. But it is your life. Your happiness. Your relationship. Your future. Handle it as seriously as it deserves. Communicate.
That sounds good, but l don't know if you are conscious of the irony in that, you saying, "a real relationship doesn't require tests." is IN ITSELF a test (your test)😂😂😂... In other words, YOUR TEST and classification of a "real relationship" is a relationship absent of "tests" even though for you to deem it a real relationship it has to pass your test😂(see the irony?)... In short, you are contradicting yourself.
When I met my husband what drew me to him was his ability to solve any problem that same day… tire blew out in my car and my windshield was broken. He got me a tire and changed my windshield before I had to go home. That was impressive. He was actually working for my cousin at the time. I swooped him up and convinced him to start his own company. We have now been married 23 years! Sometimes the girl can help make the man , and sometimes the man can make a life. Now he knows u was with him before we had any money , that’s the true way to live a long happy life. Build wealth together.
That is awesome although different relationships work out differently. Building wealth together is great although some people might have concerns about if they can keep up with their particular wants and potential needs if they date someone with an income below theirs.
That's how I feel about my man too. No matter what we faced he's figured it out. He's problem solver and he's someone who I saw start at the bottom, say he wants to be better and actually do that right before my eyes. No amount of money could replace that kind of dedication to happiness.
I am late to the party, but my ex didn't exactly push me, but was reason why I started thinking more of a long-term and to achieve more in my career, to really push myself. Still an ex though, but you gain some, you lose some.
I would feel so uncomfortable asking a guy what's his money like in his bank account. You just getting to know someone. These women aren't your everyday women. Normal women do not ask these types of questions on a first date.
that's wild to me. it's no one's business!! and what...he's gonna have a bunch in his account and you're gonna swoon and marry him and then....heaven forbid he loses his job, his health, etc. and that money is no longer there. you just gonna up and leave? it's sick, honestly.
The type of man that could be comfortable with that question on a first date is probably looking for a transactional “relationship,” if you can call it that. He is probably not looking to build a life with that woman as a monogamous partner
All of this is so crazy. I am in an incredible relationship; when we met he drove a piece of shit car, had no money and now he makes 80,000 a year which affords me to stay home and raise our beautiful daughter. Beyond grateful for him and his daily hard work. I love to look back and remember how far we've come.
Your partner is a lucky man. Too many times I've had my partners leave because I've slipped on my way up. Im on equal footing with your gentleman now, and I often wonder how it'd be if one person said they'd believed 🤷♂️
Look at that, under 100K and you can afford to stay home with the kids, but some girls dating now think 100K is entry level income lol. God bless you both and best wishes to your family's continued success.
Same! My husband drove an old ragged ranger truck that was insanely loud because someone had stolen the catalytic converter. Fast forward 11 years, he bought me my dream home, the car I’ve always wanted, and I stay at home to raise our 2 kids and home school. He treats me like gold and he is very faithful. Good to see some of us aren’t so shallow!!
When I started dating my husband at 20 (he was 23) he was making half of what I was making. Less then 5 years later I was a married stay at home mom & my husband was making 10x I was. Correctly 14 years later we are very happily married, living in our dream home, & my husband is a doctor. Please don’t listen to these vapid woman, especially if he is ambitious and goal oriented. 💕💖
When I met my husband he was just getting his painting business off the ground and drove a old work van. He said he knew I was the one when I didn’t care (he’s half kidding of course) today we have two kids, a third on the way. I am a full time stay at home mom, raising and home educating our kids and last year he bought us our first home and we rennovated. He is a involved, wonderful and supportive father and partner. Thanks to any women that may have passed him up due to his van 😘
Healthy attitude! I'd much rather have a partner who I could renovate our home with, than someone who had money, but no real life skills. Money can go away, for a multitude of reasons, but skills are for life! Congratulations, you two. Seems like you've both won the love/life lottery. Great example for your kids, as well. Super WIN-WIN-WIN!! 👍
@williamezechel6023 Why do women think that's a brag. As Ric Flair once said, "I spend more on spilled liquor than you make in a year." Now that is how you brag about money, girls.😛
Makes you question how bad Generation X and Millennials as parents if their kids are looking for a parent in their partners. Men are looking for a Mother and Girls are looking for a Father.
As someone who is currently trying to help my partner build up his business, these women are missing out on so much. Participating in his journey, figuring out how to get himself up, and watching his self esteem go up along with his financial success is beautiful. Being able to hear him tell everyone that I have been his biggest supporter makes me feel whole. When you’re with a man through the good, bad, & the ugly, they’ll give you the world. I wish more women understood this.
When I met my husband, he was driving a moped. He was super self-conscious about it, but he lived a mile from everything he needed and was paying for school. It was the difference between $90 a year or $90 a month. So for me it was a huge green flag regarding financial responsibility and willingness to make sacrifices-- and both proved to be true. We joke how he must of had really good game if he won me over on a moped 🤣.
Regarding the first woman who wanted to see a guy's bank account before she would go on a date with him. Imagine if the roles were reversed, and the man said that he wants to see her naked first because he wants to make sure that she looks good naked and he doesn't want to waste his time if she doesn't look good naked.
A guy who drove a hot, new, fancy car was someone who didn't share my fairly conservative views about spending money unnecessarily and I usually would turn down a date from him. That was my attitude 40 years ago. Now I realize people can get good deals on a dream car and doing so may not be indicative of frivolous spending.
My husband and I JUST celebrated our 30 year anniversary. We met at 28 and married 3 yrs later. I was making more than he was, even though he had a 4 yr degree and I had a 2. He was pursuing music. As we talked abt settling down, I (who also have some health issues), told him that if we had kids, I can NOT be the breadwinner. He decided to quit his lower paying job and embarked on a career which has provided a really great living for our family. I worked full time for 5 years up till the kids came. I didn’t insist that he get a job that provided for our family, I just made my position plain. We have been very blessed. And, his job has provided opportunities for him to be creative with music now.
Y'all women LOVE bitching about equality but when it comes time for actually being equal, no support in sight. Women love earning more than men, but can't bring themselves to be providers. Ironic, don't you think?
@@thetjdman I have a health condition. No double standards. I am a more traditional person. He now has the income to pursue and record the music he loves, and has been able to enjoy fatherhood (none of his HS best friends have children). It has worked very well for us.
I am so confused on why her bills become his problem? wtf. When I think of a man providing for me to me means that I can count on him any time I fall. I don't think that means actually providing financially for my every whim
That second one... If I went on a date with a girl and she said I had to pay for everything and pay her bills that she got herself in to and pay for an uber, I'd just walk away. Because all she told me is she is self-centred, narcissistic and will be expecting me to do EVERYTHING and she'll contribute nothing to the relationship. A playboy would probably be ok with that if she was attractive and ditch her when bored with her or had his one night stand with her or whatever those guys are after. But she doesn't even bring attractive to the table.
As a woman, if a guy asked me out, I’d expect him to pay for the first date. But I wouldn’t expect him to take me to PF Changs and get me an Uber and pay all my bills and everything else. While I understand wanting a man who is going to provide and not just dump the financial burden onto the woman, I also agree that this woman took it way too far and was acting like she HAD to have some fancy, crazy expensive date. Like, newsflash to that girl: Ubers ain’t cheap. Guys ain’t money trees. Get a grip on reality please. 😂
Agreed. In all fairness though, women doing this is absolutely no different than a man “dating” a woman only for her looks. Both are exceptionally selfish and shallow. However at least these women are being HONEST about their intentions. Whereas most men usually just lie.
I’ve been with my husband for 4 years, we met when I was 20 (he was 24) and now I’m a stay at home mom to our kids while I’m in school. We do not make much, but it’s not important right now. What matters is that when my kids are in school I will go back to work and we will work together to provide for the household. We love each other and will do anything for one another. We love the family we have created, and I am very excited for our future.
My husband has always been a hard worker. When we got together, we had NOTHING! Now I’m a stay at home mom and he makes six figures. He didn’t even have a career.Now he gives me and our children the world. Women don’t want the process, they want the results. I hope young girls choose someone for who he is, because he’s a hard worker. I feel extremely lucky to have my husband and have grown together.
When my bf and I first started dating he was in his last year of college and working overnights at a gym. Once he graduated, he stopped working at the gym and became very lost in the world for a couple months. He wasn’t doing well so I decided he needed a kick in the butt to get going again. He started working at the fast food chain I was at for a bit before going to a higher paying hourly job. He went to a job fair his college offered and got an internship with his current job, where he is now a full time worker and recently received a bonus! And it’s beautiful to see him grow into it and know that I was there to push him when he needed to be pushed. And he’s pushed me when I’ve needed it. Sometimes it seems these women just want a financial caretaker, which is so weird, especially for the boss babe narrative
This is the unfortunate truth. The irony is that now having a partner for support and motivation is more important than ever, and yet dating and relationships are declining and at the worst they've been in decades. We're spiraling downwards.
Imagine being so shallow that your judging someone on the vehicle they drive. Tell me your materialistic without telling me your materialistic. 🤦🏾♂️ The fact that she made the conscious decision to post it and thought it was a good idea says it all.
Imagine being so shallow that you’re judging some based upon their physical appearance. Tell me you’re ignorant and shallow without telling me you’re ignorant and shallow… can not count the numbers of both men and women who satisfy BOTH.😂
Yeah, usually, asking about the other person job is fine. But if got asked to show my bank account, I would ask the same immediately of her as well as a condition.
I am just imagining how that car one would go. The guy pulls up and she tells him that she won't be going on the date. Guy "Oh, is everything alright?" Girl "Well... it's just... a Prius, really?" Guy "... You know... actually I think you're right and this date isn't the best idea."
Weird answer😂… playing ignorance 😉 My husband of 23 years would most likely just do it for me, should I ask. But aside from playing around I am simply not asking my husband some silly internet questions😂
When I met my husband he didn’t have a car. Now he has a 2024 mustang and a high paying job. I saw that he was willing to put in the effort and I wanted to support him. That’s what counts. We are growing together in that respect.
@@bentelbow2922what’s wrong with believing and trusting in someone? Even if he didn’t have a lot of money, I know he has a good heart. We take care of each other.
With the whole "pay for the date" thing, the extra stuff like Uber rides and stuff like that really throws me off because it's basically telling me "my time is worth more than yours, so pay me to even be here with you and grace you with my presence". The more "and thens" that are attached to a date, first or not, the less likely I am to desire to be with you.
that's exactly it!! they think they're gracing their dates with their presence and their dates should feel honored that they're even there and it's like that's NOT how that's supposed to work!
💯! I’d be like, it’s not a job-I’m not paying you mileage and a per diem to go out with you! I’m a happily married woman, but I can just imagine being a man in that situation. If someone needs that level of help to arrive at a local restaurant, I will assume they have problems to address before they get into a relationship
I think it's more that you're wasting their time because they don't want a guy who's not rich, which does suck if you put time and even money into them.
The Marilyn Monroe movies is “ Gentleman prefer Blondes” it’s one of me and my daughters favorite movies! It also features the famous performance of Diamonds are a girls best friend!
When I met my husband, he had a 2004 dodge truck that he had fixed up himself, and it was paid off and LET ME TELL YOU that was the sexiest thing I had ever seen.
👍👍 agreed. As a 30 year old woman, a man who is responsible and leads is attractive. Single guys take note. My husband and I have been so poor we were digging for change and so well off we could afford two car payments. Money and looks can vary your entire life, so basing your relationship on such shallow things is just stupid. You aren’t setting yourself up for the future, you’re passing up good character for temporary features. 🤦♀️
To pay for an Uber just to get a girl to come to a restaurant, where I'm paying for dinner... Is INSANE! I'm not paying anyone to come and hang with me. Ever.
My bf is currently looking for jobs, and he's been applying like crazy. I'm super proud of him for that, and sticking to the grind even though it's tough not getting word back or being told no. I stand by him not because of his bank account, but because of the content of his character, and the fact that he can make me feel like a queen without spending a cent. I love him 3000 💚💜
@jfoot2732 Oh, I do! I always tell him to keep going, and remind him it's going to be worth it, and how he's doing a great job. I know it bums him out waiting for someone to get back to him, so I make sure to lift his spirits 💚
"make me feel like a queen without spending a cent." What a keeper, goddamn! I really hope to become such a man, and also, have an understanding girlfriend like you.
When I was a young boy, adult women would call me a man, have me open jars, kill spiders for them, and thank me for opening the door. The women in my life raised me to be the kind of man they expected a man to be. I had great male role models, who taught me to be self sufficient, how to fix things and solve problems, but I do think it was more the women who taught me how to act like a man and how to cherish women.
As a single mom of a son you're wrong. We women can't teach boys how to be men we don't know how. We can teach you to be a good person but we cannot teach you to be good men. You became a good man because of the good men in your life. Don't strip them of their credit for what they did for you. Yes the women in your life were wonderful and they helped you a lot. They made you a fantastic person. But it was the men in your life who made you a good man.
@@MamaMOB I agree. I love my mother dearly and she has always been fantastic to me, but my parents split when i was 13. It's kinda hard to describe what it's like to lose that male figure in your life. I think men and women largely need to find quite similar values and traits as they become adults, but we do it differently.
@@MamaMOBI feel like the “teaching someone to be a man/woman” is based on gender roles and fitting a certain mold. Nothing is wrong with gender roles of course, but not everyone is going to fit the same mold. IMO, it’s not about raising you to act like your gender- it’s about making you the person you are. Being turned into a man/woman, to me, is about maturity.
I got with my now husband when he lived out of someone else’s camper and basically just eating honey buns, I was living in my car during winter and he brought me a sleeping bag (which I found out was his only one) and did not expect anything in return or make any moves. He did something caring for me without expecting anything in return. That’s when I decided I really wanted him. We have now almost been together for a decade and married for about seven years. 😊 He now makes enough money to support our family and he can never question if I am with him for money, cause I got with him when he had nothing and was basically homeless
Dated 3.5 years, married at 22, going on 15 years. His car was a piece of crap, white Mazda with a crap black hood. He has always earned less than I do. But we chose to both work and homeschool our kids between us. He works his butt off and would rather be the breadwinner but we aren’t there yet. We sacrifice a lot of money to live our life this way and we are all the more happy because of it. Oh, and he always paid for the dates, and always picked me up. Never asked me for a dime. Bought my engagement ring cash after saving for a year, living off peanut butter sandwiches. He’s the best father and husband a woman could dream for. ❤
Weird how you still expect so much from him even though you could just step up and be the provider. If he quit his job to be a SAHD, would you still support him?
@@thetjdman😂😂 we have discussed that and he would be miserable. A man WANTS to work and provide. Kinda a natural drive…..I would question any male without it.
Im a man who just traded in my crappy white subaru with a black hood lol. Got a nice, safe car so that my lady doesn't have to worry if we're going to make it where we're going. This comment helped me relax a bit and feel better knowing I'm making the right moves. She told me the other night she feels safe with me and isn't worried about how our future might end up because she sees I'm not just another loser.
@@thetjdman what is with dudes like you stumbling across the traditional, “high value” women that the manosphere says don’t exist anymore, and immediately mocking and deriding them for not becoming everything that the man should be in a traditional relationship? By the standards and definitions set by the red pill guys, these same women would cease to be the high value women they currently are by becoming the breadwinners and having their men stay home. There’s nothing inherently wrong with that, if that’s the best situation for a certain couple, it’s all good. But most couples wouldn’t be happy with that, because most men wouldn’t be happy with that. They want to _work,_ it makes them feel fulfilled. Let women be women, and men be men.
My first thought with those tests is, if you're doing relationship tests on me and recording it and posting it on tiktok...I'm not going to be happy about that.
I recently got asked out on a date. First time in a long time. "I want to buy you dinner." Cool. I was happy to go out with him. He wanted to meet me after work. Ok. Then I think I want to change out of my work clothes, so I suggest we meet at the restaurant. To this he replies, why don't you pick me up on the way to the restaurant. Um, ok. Only then does it become clear that he has no car. I don't mind driving. What I mind is the lack of transparency. No "do you mind driving?" Nothing. No communication. After dinner he asks me to take him to the store so he can get his vape. Again, not a huge issue, I just don't like 11th hour drops. I will not be seeing him again simply because he didn't communicate with me, and I have a huge issue with feeling taken for granted.
Specifically "11th hour drops". I'm not really into rules of engagement, but reading your post did make me cringe regarding his behavior. It feels manipulative to put you on the spot at the moment of asking instead of telling you in advance. I'm not fond of that for friends I've known for decades, much less a first date. So yeah, I definitely agree with your take here.
as a guy without a car i do get the struggle. everytime i inform a dating prospect i don't have a car, she loses interest right away. thinking you are a bum or something else. without thinking about reasons why not to own a car, wich in my case is because my home to work transit is 10 minutes with the bike, and a big warehouse 2 minutes away by bike. and if i really need a car to pick more good/people i can use the vehicles from my work. but i'm also not the guy that lets his date drop him off, i'l manage to get home, on foot, bike, public transport or taxi don't mind any.
@@sarahalderman3126 some of these dudes really dgaf though… they are usually the ones who end up trying to borrow your car and never show the ability or desire to save up for one bc they got yours now 🙄. I did date a great guy who didn’t have a car for a while, but he was a lot different than the others I’ve met in similar situations! We lived like a mile from each other, he walked or Ubered most places including work. Was up front and never once asked to borrow my car and later got his own. I drove when we went on longer trips and was happy to (even though I don’t prefer it) because he was decent and communicative. And i knew he was working towards more. I have no issue with those type of guys, but not having a car does make me wary because it’s been fairly essential most places I’ve lived. So not having one usually indicates you have had driving issues or cannot afford to drive.
I was discussing this with one of my friends recently like, do you REALLY want a relationship or do you just want a sugar daddy that "solves all your problems"?
“Where are the men with initiative and drive?” In my experience with this whole conversation, men are not asking women on dates, but they are also super offended when I ask them out and have told me they feel emasculated. So there is no winning in this space. I don’t know what to do.
Because you tried like two times, have you tried a hundred, the amount many men have to do before they get a yes? Most guys would say yes, or at least the probability is ten times higher then woman. If you haven’t done it hundreds of times like how a lot of men need to do, I don’t wanna see you complaining.
Cold approaching is all about numbers. The dating gurus who act like they can get any woman's number actually only get 1/10 dates per approach at best. So you know how the average dude feels, talking to women and being told "screw off creep" over and over again.
@@darklordsauron3415 you talk like you know this lady. She’s her own person, quit acting so judgy. As for you, we can all tell why you might be struggling…I don’t know any guys in my person circle who have to try even just dozens of times to get a girl to respond, it seems to be just you and the circles you run in. That’s on you, bud.
I think the approach to “wanting a man with a big bank account” is wrong. You MUST look for a hardworking man. Someone who is not afraid of working and doing the best for his family. That is, not a lazy man. No matter how many he has. He can lose everything tomorrow. But his willingness to work and see for his family will not.
I still find it funny that aex workers think what they do is successful work or even a real job. Even being an internet influencer isnt a real job. If it doesnt actually contribute to society or the country its not a real job regardless of the pay.
Conversely, the man should just leave. The women has shown she is interested in your money first. Any relationship will be built on money, and if you encounter financial issues, the relationship is over. This is not a relationship you want to be in.
I agree with that, personally for me though when dating I look for a man who's generous, rather than rich. Because I feel like "I can't afford to take you out right now but when I get my paycheck I will" is very different than a guy who is really well off financially but still insists on splitting the bill every time
The "peeling the orange" test is so funny to me because every night before bed, I peel and halve 3 or 4 mini oranges for my husband's drive to work. I'll peel them for him when he's home and asks, too. It's never been an issue, it's how I show my love, and gratitude for him. 😂
The Marilyn monroe quote is "a man being rich is like a girl being pretty. You might not marry a woman just because she pretty, but my goodness doesnt it help? if you had a daughter, wouldn't you rather she didn't marry a poor man? You'd want her to have the most wonderful things in the world and to be very happy. Well, why is it wrong for me to want those things?"
For the car video, Im not going to lie if i met someone online and after a month wanted to met them in person and he drove up in a white van that radiated "I have candy inside." I might pass on that. Other than that and the trash, there's no reason to reject a guy because of his car.
Here’s the things my grandmother always told us to look for in a man. -Watch how he interacts with animals and children. -Car/license shows responsibility. -Can control his emotions. -makes sure you are on the correct side of the sidewalk/street while walking together. -career with opportunity or stability. -Makes you feel special. I think this is perfect, and those ladies are doomed to be alone forever.
Which is why it is so incredibly important that women develop the skills necessary to maintain their own independence. It is better to be single for your entire life then with someone who mistreats you.😉
@@sarahalderman3126 Absolutely, everyone male or female deserves a partner that treats them with respect and love. It’s never ok to compromise on that. But I don’t think being single forever is the best plan b. Keep searching for someone that will work with you to build a life.
@@BloodSweatandFears of course, however that can be done through fulfilling friendships and family as well, not necessarily just a marriage. Today it is becoming increasingly clear that men and women, generally, do not have the same goals or motivations in life. For women, again in general, we are motivated to find a committed partner with which to develop a loving and responsive partner to create a family with. However for many men today the goal is to garner as many attractive women as possible. Therefore a young woman must retain her independence and not invest herself into a partner that simply uses her assistance and labor in order to further his goal of acquiring the resources with which to attract a younger and more desirable girl. It simply is not of any benefit to a young girl as she will often expend her energy and life improving a man and is then often left alone in her later years. The number of women this is happening to is astronomical at this point. I seriously can not count the numbers of older women who have cautioned me about this.
I don't understand the rest of my generation. I wanted to grow with my partner. I didn't care how much he made, I just wanted someone to love and respect me and we can figure the rest out later. My partner was literally homeless and barely able to make the bills he had. Almost 4 years later we have two kids, I'm able to be a stay at home mom and he's got a job where he makes over 13k a month. I had his back when he was at his lowest and now he's taking care of our family while I raise the babies until they can go to school then I'll be back at work unless he wants me to home school and I'll gladly do that. Edit: also the orange peel test is absolutely ridiculous 🤦 my partner knows I'm more then capable of doing it. Ask him to fix a broken door or change your oil or check the fluids on your car, peeling an orange tho absolutely ridiculous 😒
Your partner knowing you are capable is the point. Doing something you are incapable of, that has to be done.. doesn't work. He has to do it. Peeling an orange is just a little kindness to show your partner. You don't have to but happily go about it, even doing more than she asks like sectioning it, grabbing a napkin, making a decoration on the plate, etc., because you love your partner.
@@CryHavocWarDogYeah I agree. Not that I believe in using it as a test… but I know that moments in life when a man did something small, sweet, and entirely unnecessary like that for me, it just really speaks volumes. Communicates a tenderness that is sorta priceless.
I'm really curious what your partner's job is so I can see if it's something I could get into, lol. Your story is amazing, and shows "if you want me at my best, love me at my worst".
9:25 insane!! We were broke AF when we got married! We BUILT this life. My husband careered up (licensed electrician) so I could tend the house and be the primary caregiver for our kids, ie be home to raise our sons. Traditional-like. And I’m so happy we started out with nothing. Make us appreciate the success that much more. 💕
I remember being in an office full of girls in Sydney, curious if I was single. When I said I was going out with a girl who's amazing, and I though the only quality I had that she might value was my loyalty. I was looking at seven faces with their jaw on the ground. I was surprised, I don't think any had realised their are a lot of guys that don't cheat.
Wait, what? A group of women asked if you were single, you said no, and the only reason she likes you is because you're loyal, and these ladies...that stunned them? Hm.
Women don’t understand that men without many options simply find it easier to be loyal than men with many options. They also don’t understand how hard it is for a guy below average to date at all.
"For better or worse." Where did that go? How shallow for people to choose their dates by car or bank account. These ladies will end up with wealthy creeps. I hope they're happy.
Given that the whole “for better or worse” only ever applied to women, it went out the window when women gained equal rights. This is all just men freaking out because they are finally on a level playing field and they don’t like it.
Uh, I don't know where you came up with that, "given." The man says the vows, too. ....and, who is more often the one cheating? You're acting like that phrase, and vows, in general, are a form of male oppression against women. When, in fact, it is a self-imposed, self-less act of oppression against your own selfishness. It says that I vow to love you even when I don't feel like it. Let's face it, do you even need a vow to stay together forever when you feel head over heels infatuation with someone? It's equally there for both parties. The man can't leave his wife for another woman. The woman can't leave her husband if he's not making enough money. Neither of them can leave if the other gets in an accident and becomes disabled or disfigured. It says that no matter what life throws our way, we'll be there for each other. It's placing the marriage above your own selfish ambitions. That is the strong foundation for family when kids come along. Selfishness is what's killing families and relationships. Our society is so extremely "me-driven" it's disastrous. People break their marriage vows so easily when anything that you'd consider a hardship comes along. "I didn't sign up for this or that." Actually, you did. And yes, I'm sorry, this goes equally both ways. Either side can be selfish in their own ways. People don't know what love is anymore. Love seeks what's best for the other person. It's not selfish. The key to a successful relationship is giving. Give the other person what they need. That requires knowing what they need. That requires communication. When both people do that, both get what they need. The moment either person becomes a taker and tries to get all they can out of the relationship with the focus of "what's in it for me?," that's when the relationship is doomed. Sometimes, both are takers. They may get along for a while, but it's not a healthy relationship. Eventually, someone will have had enough and find it's not worth it. Sorry for the long rant, but I'm passionate about the way I see society getting things wrong. People poo-poo traditional views, but I ask, "How's that working out for you?"
19:56: My friend is a fairly well off pharmaceutical researcher and drove a 1990 Toyota Corolla until around 5 years ago. My friends would joke around that when he went on first dates with women, he should pick them up in that car. That way he knew that she wasn't just dating him for his money.
Literally my husband and I started dating with literally 0 in our bank accounts. I didn't care he drove a Ford truck 😂 I drove a shitbox 2000 Toyota salara with rust on the hood. We are now married and I have a new car, we have a house, and we now have just started our careers. He's a fulltime firefighter and I'm an environmental consultant. I loved him regardless of the material things. I love the person not the things or the status. It's painful to see these men and woman say they would deny someone based on a car. How childish
Regarding the lady who complained about never being approached by men. She clearly doesn't understand the changing of the times at all. It's so hard for men these days. I asked out my man cause we worked together and even though it was absolutely clear that we were vibing, I knew that he would never ask me out fearing sexual harassment charges. I remember un the 00's I used to get asked our at bus stops....can you imagine that now days? That's creepy af? You can't have it both ways x
"You can't have it both ways x" That is where you would be very wrong (and also very right). And I don't say that with any confrontational or disrespectful intent. For all of the women who have bought into the ridiculousness that has been sold to them through TV, movies, magazines and social media they absolutely believe that they can in fact, have it both ways. Not only can they have it, they are also somehow entitled to it. Not only are they entitled to it, but somehow they all deserve it from top tier men who will sweep them off of their feet to pamper and worship them. The question the young lady asked may have been entirely legitimate though, so I'm willing to give her the benefit of doubt. Although it seems that she just doesn't want to acknowledge the answers that are right in front of her, that you also started to point out: 1) I don't want to say 'afraid' but men have become hyper cautious about approaching because if they're not "The Right" man they will be labeled a creepy stalker or seen as harassing. 2) A lot of men have been burned/shot down repeatedly by putting themselves out there. So eventually they just stop trying. 3) Women, possibly even her, have side lined and friend zoned men who would a) actually be a good match and b) treat them well, because they don't fit the delusional criteria/needs list that has been created. And of course the counter argument from that side is always "But, but... what about the way men... blah blah blah" Yes, there are certainly men who behave badly. There are men who have treated actual good and wonderful women very poorly or passed them over entirely. But unlike strong women such as yourself, the burden of pursuit or even just initial contact rarely falls on the women. And by the way, good on you for asking your man out. It takes guts and it probably made him feel awesome being pursued a little. I'd be willing to bet he really appreciated it and most certainly appreciates you for it. As to your comment about 'Creepy AF'... it's only creepy if it's coming from a man she doesn't want the attention from. Sadly, if a man meets all of the criteria and requirements i.e. height, looks, earnings and social status, these type of women seem to be willing entertain a lot of bad behavior or creepiness.
Such a good point. I’m sorry to say but I’m going to declare that if you’re a woman, and you want to go out with your male coworker, YOU have to ask him out. There’s no other way…
I loved this episode. Raising young men in todays day is not easy. They are expected to hold the door for a lady but not assume she can’t get the door for herself. They’re supposed to be emotional but not too emotional or they’re less of a man or called slurs. It’s tough as a parent, tougher as a young man.
I wish that people would focus on more how someone makes them feel and their character rather than their yearly income. Even me being 18 have heard girls my age say they want a rich guy. At this age most people are in school or working and are just trying to figure it out. It's okay to have standards of course and to each their own, but some of them are very extreme. Money isn't everything, but a genuine and loving connection is!!
To be honest, it's such a relief just hearing people such as yourselves expressing what I've been thinking myself for a while. I do feel so sorry for those who are still looking for a partner, it's a jungle out there!
Wow. “He has to be my level of success” Well. Not everyone wants to take their clothes off to make money At that young age as well MOST people that don’t do OF actually work their way up, get an education, establish a career and work their way up. My husband has worked his way up and now runs the entire company by himself, we own our 2 story house, 3 if you count the finished basement. Paid completely off after 10 years.
People that actually have money in the bank usually are smart with their money, so they use their phones and cars until they dont work even if they can afford newer. Usually people that are flashy also have a load of debt. So you cant judge a man by his car or phone lol
I love Amala’s “car dislexia” because I have the same!🤣 I couldn’t care less about cars, they all look the same!😂 And the are there for a purpose, if they can get you from A to B in a comfortable way, PERFECT CAR!🤣
Lol. I can't tell them apart either. I love pick up trucks though. Like, they look so useful. Vans too! Like in this economy if u lose ur home but still have an income those are cars u can live in and use creatively to stay warm and such. U can even get a kiddie pool snd collect rainwater for bathing and stuff. Like there are creative solutions and I too think of functionality.
Personally, I am a girl who has mild interest in cars, but I’m so helplessly cheap that I’d much prefer a guy be driving around some beat up old junk wagon from the 90’s because it still runs well, than see a young guy who almost definitely doesn’t have the funds blowing it all on some new snazzy car that people will think looks outdated in five years. (70’s muscle cars and some of those sick 90’s sports cars are where it’s at; modern lambos, BMWs, etc are lame)
Imagine pricing out a potential soul mate over an arbitrary bank balance. She's essentially reducing a human being to a financial investment. That's sad. Money, just like looks, will fade eventually, calibre of character is what stays the course.
Money doesn’t fade. What are you talking about? The more you have the more you can earn. When I was poor banks would charge me to hold my money. But when you have money banks pay *you*. Seriously, the more money you have the more it grows. This fade comment is ridiculous man
The upside of this is that people are learning all they need to know about people with these attitudes and demands about money, cars etc. if you don’t want to deal with that ick for the rest of your life… RUN!
WoW these folks aren't looking for a mate to spend their lives with.... they are looking for a no love sugar daddy 🤣😂🤣 I met my hubs over 44 years ago. He mowed lawns for a living at the time.... thank God I didn't care about how much he made. Today we are quite well off financially. BUT I have to say our starting years (the first 15 years) we were dirt poor.... and quite honestly the happiest, best times that served to make us stronger as a couple. I'm 60 he is 63 and we still hold hands while walking, at dinner and such. He is always watching for things that could hurt me.... I could not ask for a better man 🥰
I actually just turned a date down once she revealed she lived with 2 roomates, didn't work full time and her job was based on comission. She expected the meal, drinks, all of it to just be at her beckoning call for me to pay for. That was over before it started.
No because really, my dad didn’t know how to cut a tomato when he and my mom got married 💀🤚 the first dinner she makes for him in their new home, just after getting back from the honeymoon, he goes to the kitchen to ask how he can help (big ol sweetie that he is), so she asks him to please cut the tomato. He grabs a cutting board and a knife, waits a second, then turns and asks how to cut a tomato. This man had both his mom and his stepmom around, and neither bothered to teach him how to cut a tomato, he had to learn from his wife
I cannot scream this loud enough. When people decide to stay together forever its because they cant imagine life without the other. As a woman if you think you can meet a man after he's already gone through the struggle and is now able to relax a bit in life, and that he's not going to look at you the same way he looks at the other temporary luxuries he's now able to have fun with... I have a bridge to sell you. I think the biggest issue in the dating culture currently is that theres no rules or standards for women. These women, not all women, want to be a unique individual who cant be boxed into a defined role while men conform to the expectations from yesteryear. You cant even critique them because they can hop in and out of personas at will. For example: the reaction to that second tiktoker is "If you have that preference, I hope you have a good car too". If she does she'll say yes. If she doesnt, shell say thats for men. The third tiktoker wants a masculine man to approach her and yet if you scroll down her page I would bet she has trashed talked, doxxed, or called the authorities on men who've tried to approach her. At any given time these women can avoid critique and accountability by crying that the world itself hates women while also directly creating their own problems.
Absolutely nailed it. The BIZZARE expectation that a guy has to have his life 100% together and then he'll just.... pay you to scroll Tiktok and spend his money all day? I can hardly believe it's real.
I think it's ridiculous for you assume that all single successful men are just looking to use women for fun. As if you can just look at someone's bank account and know their morals and intentions...
Or take any of the responsibility men had. We still expect men to protect us we still expect men to pay most of the bills. All while taking from them. Because when we work a man doesn't. A man can't provide for his family even though his working wife expects him to.
@@MamaMOB: Truer words have never been said. I remember a girl online actually saying that she expects a man to provide for her, but she still wants to work so that she can still have her own money. Basically she expects him to share his earnings with her, but won't share her own earnings with him.
No one gives their partners any grace anymore, it’s really sad, we were all young and broke once and everyone around us was also young and broke, finding a partner should be about your willingness to stick with them and your shared values, yes money or status makes things easier, but having someone with a good core is far more important.
The orage peel theory/ testing partner: That's called "playing games" kids & SHOULD BE an instant deal breaker. I promise it won't be the last set of games they play!
You put it right when you said ‘a high values man’ and ‘being around to grow and build potential’ being invaluable and a life worth loving…if your focus is just money, you are discounting the humanity we live for and you devalue life, love, support, laughter, compassion, strength, compatibility etc. so question, what happens when he loses this money? Do you stick around? Or what if you lose your money, you preparing to be dumped? Because that is the only value worth considering (excuse the pun)
RE: Woman who wants an established man, it depends where you're at in life and having reasonable expectations. You can't be expecting that out of a low 20s male. But you can invest early in that man to where he's going to be in his life based on character, values and ambition.
I think part of the problem is that so many people (men and women both) have an expectation to have "made it" before they seriously date, get married, have kids. They have this laundry list of goals they have to accomplish before taking those next steps. It seems like with that attitude, you'll never reach the point of feeling ready because the goal post will always be moving. There's also something beautiful about growing with your spouse, not separately. My husband and I have grown together, achieved our goals together, and celebrate together. If I hadn't been with him during this growth, I might not have been able to accomplish everything I have and he could say the same thing.
And where are all the women that haven't been run through by half the college/university? That aren't out partying 5 days a week? Accountability is still a foreign concept to you. Sorry, but no real man is interested in a woman that half the town has had before. Get over it and stop blaming men.
@@mothbreeder641 Yeah see, alot of us have just removed ourselves from the dating pool and are just investing in our education and attending church. This way we can contribute to the world even if we cannot find our happy ending. Alot of women who have saved themselves have been called prudes and are ostracized. Your best option is to maybe take a dance class or do a church/volunteering activity where you have more statistical chance of finding your choice in partner.
Been dating my bf for 5 years . He's an engineer and 6 years older than me while I am student. He makes 2000 euro/month and with only one salary we are great, we have fun and enjoy life. Neither of us want a lavish luxurious life.
I think the young lady who won't date a person in one of those perfectly good (and, in the case of the Jeep, awesome) vehicles is really saving those preemptively dumped individuals a massive amount of drama, annoyance, and pain were they to stick around. So good on her, I guess.
I have been getting into your videos more and more, and I really enjoy hearing your perspective on these topics of debate. Overall, your points are very logical and it is very refreshing to always hear a new perspective on topics from a calm, logical point of view. Regarding relationship dynamics between men/women, I like how you highlighted the changing role of women in an economic sense. I grew up in a household where my mother was always the main provider, and I consider myself to be a very independent and self-confident woman. I don't care if a guy opens the door for me or pays for the meal, etc etc. But I have dated some men that try to emasculate themselves by trying to taking on more traditional roles (which I don't fault them for), but I've run into issues with this "balancing act" many times. Idk. I'm rambling a bit, and it's hard to express my thoughts here, but I always appreciate your views and how it gets me thinking
lol Taylor I feel you! My first car at 18 (ten years ago, wow) was a 1998 Plymouth Breeze!😂 People never heard of that. In my whole life I’ve only seen one other one out on the streets.
Watching this I think I’m gonna be writing down what I want and my values for a man, and then write down what I bring to the table. If I want a high value man I need to be a high value woman, so I’ll be back after I’m done doing that
Ok so I think I’ve got fair standards For what I want, roughly my height, is dating for marriage and possible kids in future, we share at least one hobby preferably two so we can spend time together, same religion, makes roughly what I make money wise so there’s not really a power imbalance and finally does not mind going Dutch on a date. What I bring to the table, I pay my own bills, I can pay for my half of the date, I’m great with kids and animals, I’m a great cook, but unfortunately I’m not the best house keeper I keep things sanitary and dishes done up but there is always some kind of art supplies on any available surface so while clean, I am not tidy so I guess I should add doesn’t mind a messy home. I know that most likely no one’s gonna read this but it was a good exercise to see if my own standards were too high or if I needed to bring more to the table
She keeps saying "I'm sorry." Ma'am, I don't think that phrase means what you think it means. I also had to laugh at "If ya'll drive these cars, you need to reevaluate yourselves because... Anyway, here's another example." xD
When my wife and I got together, I was earning 4x what she was...and also had a house. After our kids came along my wife had issues where she couldn't drive due to medication. She then started to work on her career and I became the Uber Dad for all the to and from school and all the other activities. We are no longer financially care free but we provide everything that our kids need but we are happy. What I am trying to say is that life happens and changes the dynamics and it is better to know the person and grow with them than look for things like bank accounts and who peels oranges
Asking a man about his bank account is similar to asking a woman about her body count. The difference is that men understand and accept the callous of women. Women, on the other hand, scoff at the idea of accountability.
@@ems3991 not true. The body count is an accurate predictor of whether or not the woman will value the marriage enough not to abandon or betray it when times get tough or when she catches feedings for someone else.
@ems3991 Accountability matters when raising children. If you are an individual who cannot accept your fucked up, you won’t realize your kids are assholes because you as the parent is an asshole. When my child acts out in anger, I have to remind myself that it was I who first acted out in anger and must remember that I set the example. Accountability is incredibly important in all aspects in life, it is how you avoid being an entitled piece of shit.
They're similar in that they're not questions you're asking straight out of the gate. "Hey! Nice to meet you! Open your banking app and show your bank account" is not a good ice breaker, the same goes for "Hi, how are you, how many men have you had funsies with?" If you value this, it's something you should eventually bring up, but not in the first 5 minutes sheesh.
@@GearForTheYear And you know that how exactly, besides just deciding that its true? People who are in their first relationship cheat, people in a 30 yr marriage cheat
These young girls these days are so concerned with men paying for all of their bills when they forget that a relationship is supposed to be 50-50 and you’re supposed to share your lives equally. When I go on a first date, I always bring money with me just in case, if he wants to be a man and take up the tab that’s perfectly fine but if he wants to split, I’m not gonna complain about that either I’m not gonna expect somebody to pay my way
Never trust a single woman giving dating advice. You want good, honest, solid advice, find a woman who's been married for at least 10 years and then go talk to her husband. Gotta get both sides of the story.
Being married for 10 years does it mean you're in a happy marriage or that you'll give good dating advice. What you should do is ask advice from someone who's happily married. That's what I learned from my first divorce
I expect to pay for my own side of a date for 2 main reasons: 1) We have equality, I work a job, and I make my own income. There is no practical reason why anyone should have to pay for my part of a date. 2) I have a tendency to feel indebted to someone who does something nice for me, and don't want to be in a situation where I stick around despite alarm bells or red flags solely because he paid for me (I don't mean ditching on a date that is simply boring, or anything like that). Depending on the situation, this isn't necessarily something I'll stick to 100% of the time. It can change depending on the circumstances. I totally understand a guy wanting to be traditional; I just want him to understand why I may be hesitant and where I'm coming from, is all.
I married my husband when he was a warehouse worker for a school district. He later became a cafeteria manager of a school, and later of 2 schools. We do not make much money at all. My salary is donations because I'm a pro-life activist. We have a very fulfilling life. He has a daughter from a previous marriage, we have a bio daughter, and we have 2 sons we adopted from foster care. If I'd chosen not to give him a chance because he wasn't rich, I would have missed out on so much. My 1st husband was a custodian, and later a school bus mechanic. I can't imagine caring so much about being rich. I have nothing against rich people at all. I just can't understand caring that much about money.
It's a red flag if someone asks for your bank info, if they make you pay for everything and they don't have their affairs in order themselves. I can see people exchanging that info before getting married to make sure they're not stuck with debt that don't belong to them or to get their finances in order when planning for the future.
Maybe not right before getting married. I personally think those conversations can be had when the relationship is more solid and you know you both want the same thing out of life/in a partner. Finance should be discussed WAY before walking down the aisle but not on the first date. There’s a time and place for that.
Thank you for exposing shallowness, blatant hypocrisy, & insanity in your videos. These are among the many reasons why I left dating behind in my late 30's. This was starting to happen heavily in the 90's. Also, when women date "Bad Boys" it messes up the dating scene & sends mixed messages to normal/mainstream men. We may never get out of this abyss when it comes to dating. Great video.
Okay, but if the woman is providing "beauty" and the man is providing "income" then what is he getting for the other things he provides? Is she saying she'll date an ugly dude who provides income? She'll lose her beauty with age while his income will probably increase, along with their savings - now what? Also, Amala hits an important point on the head: Many men only start settling down to achieve great things once they have a mate there to push them to settle down and achieve - the woman adds to the partnership in how she motivates her husband as well.
She absolutely nailed that point, and it seems so completely lost on 90% of people somehow. How on earth do you expect someone who has their life together to settle for you?
I must not be a high value woman 😂🤣. I always asked before my first dates whether or not we were going to split the date. That way I knew if I could go a specific time. Didn’t have to split with any of them, but I always wanted to make sure. Plus, my boyfriend for almost 4 years now paid for everything on our first date. Pulled up in a car that wasn’t perfect, but I didn’t care. He is amazing! Loves me, loves my kids like he loves his own. He still opens my doors, made my trust issues practically disappear. Makes me laugh all the time, holds me when I cry. Talks with me about any issues we have, instead of shutting down, which sucks when people do that. Doesn’t make a shit ton of money, but we have what we need. We struggle a little, of course, with this economy who isn’t. I wasn’t looking at his paycheck to make sure he could take care of me financially. That isn’t what I was looking for. He provides for me in the most important ways. We take care of each other. We work together. What a relationship should be.
If she's worried about your bank account, then she'll have a moment and then the look for another bank account. She's not looking atv the man! She's looking at her wardrobe and the car she wants you to buy her, basically spend her money and spend yours!
My priority lies with loyalty. My man was working at a post delivery service for 9 years by then and I love his loyalty and karakter. And we went for our first date to grab an ice cream. Still married for 7 years.
The _"I want a man with money" is the same sentiment as _"I want a woman with looks"_ because as soon as money runs out or looks fade away, then it's ok to dump either of your partners... and this is a horrible way to approach relationships
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100%. People nowadays are too caught up in the pursuit of and desire to attain wealth and beauty, that they lose sight of what actually contributes to long-lasting relationships. Strong relationships aren't superficial or materialistic.
But women *do* want men who can provide, and men *do* want attractive wives. It's not so they can dump each other when those things are gone - it's so they have healthy children. Evolutionarily, that's why those desires exist.
Both are very important but within reason. That's why upper class marry within. Looks fade but still significant to even start a relationship.
Welcome to modern society.
"You cannot afford my bills" - We'll they are your bills and therefore your responsibility to pay off.
Whi the f*ck is gonna date a woman with that kind of an attitude - I wouldn't want to feel sorry for any bloke who actually dates her because that would mean that they don't respect themselves. And this is coming from a SAHW whose husband pays the bills but doesn't have that kind of an entitled attitude.
and that is YOUR eggplant and therefore your responsibility to F off
I caught that too.
The audacity to expect someone else to pay your bills
@@likhayadiko6045especially with how they look
Regarding the orange peel theory, I think people are missing a bigger point here. If you are “testing” your partner about ANYTHING, you do have a problem, and it’s not HIM. A real relationship doesn’t require tests.
I don't mind if she's going to test me as long as she gives me study materials ahead of time so that I do better. But no essays... 🙂
Agreed. It is a shit test. That's it. The REAL telling part is the fact that if your girlfriend is filming it to share this nonsense, that is a serious red flag. Why does she need to do this? Is it too difficult to discuss a problem in the modern age? Or does she need validation of her concerns first from a bunch of meaningless random people on social media? Advice for the women: If there is an issue, don't do this crap. Talk to the guy. If he won't, then assess if he is right for you and if not, move on. You do deserve to know where you stand without being strung along. But so does he. Men hate these things, and no matter how many times it gets expressed, women still think it's clever. It isn't. It is more likely to blow up in your face. Remember ladies, no matter how many supporters you have for this, they only care until the next scroll. Then you are old news. But it is your life. Your happiness. Your relationship. Your future. Handle it as seriously as it deserves. Communicate.
@@azmike3572lol, when she hits you with the "would you love me if I were a paperclip" you want to have multiple choice to fall back on, huh?
I 💯 agree and I always thought it was called "playing games" & SHOULD BE an instant deal breaker, as it won't be the last set of games they play!
That sounds good, but l don't know if you are conscious of the irony in that, you saying, "a real relationship doesn't require tests." is IN ITSELF a test (your test)😂😂😂...
In other words, YOUR TEST and classification of a "real relationship" is a relationship absent of "tests" even though for you to deem it a real relationship it has to pass your test😂(see the irony?)... In short, you are contradicting yourself.
When I met my husband what drew me to him was his ability to solve any problem that same day… tire blew out in my car and my windshield was broken. He got me a tire and changed my windshield before I had to go home. That was impressive. He was actually working for my cousin at the time. I swooped him up and convinced him to start his own company. We have now been married 23 years! Sometimes the girl can help make the man , and sometimes the man can make a life. Now he knows u was with him before we had any money , that’s the true way to live a long happy life. Build wealth together.
The dating market has changed. Women don't want that now.
That is awesome although different relationships work out differently.
Building wealth together is great although some people might have concerns about if they can keep up with their particular wants and potential needs if they date someone with an income below theirs.
That's how I feel about my man too. No matter what we faced he's figured it out. He's problem solver and he's someone who I saw start at the bottom, say he wants to be better and actually do that right before my eyes. No amount of money could replace that kind of dedication to happiness.
I am late to the party, but my ex didn't exactly push me, but was reason why I started thinking more of a long-term and to achieve more in my career, to really push myself. Still an ex though, but you gain some, you lose some.
Yeah now women don’t build anything they just sit at the finish line and fvck the winner.
I would feel so uncomfortable asking a guy what's his money like in his bank account. You just getting to know someone. These women aren't your everyday women. Normal women do not ask these types of questions on a first date.
Yeah, that's super rude. Any normal guy would run after that kind of question
I can't even imagine. That is engagement info only.
@@jjj4n4any normal person, man or woman would be like wtf? 😂
that's wild to me. it's no one's business!! and what...he's gonna have a bunch in his account and you're gonna swoon and marry him and then....heaven forbid he loses his job, his health, etc. and that money is no longer there. you just gonna up and leave? it's sick, honestly.
The type of man that could be comfortable with that question on a first date is probably looking for a transactional “relationship,” if you can call it that. He is probably not looking to build a life with that woman as a monogamous partner
I love this guy, taylor . He's such a sweet heart. The world needs more calm, friendly people with a good world view.
All of this is so crazy. I am in an incredible relationship; when we met he drove a piece of shit car, had no money and now he makes 80,000 a year which affords me to stay home and raise our beautiful daughter. Beyond grateful for him and his daily hard work. I love to look back and remember how far we've come.
Your partner is a lucky man. Too many times I've had my partners leave because I've slipped on my way up. Im on equal footing with your gentleman now, and I often wonder how it'd be if one person said they'd believed 🤷♂️
Look at that, under 100K and you can afford to stay home with the kids, but some girls dating now think 100K is entry level income lol. God bless you both and best wishes to your family's continued success.
Mine was a PFC and didn't have a car. We are now solid, 26 yrs...
Same! My husband drove an old ragged ranger truck that was insanely loud because someone had stolen the catalytic converter. Fast forward 11 years, he bought me my dream home, the car I’ve always wanted, and I stay at home to raise our 2 kids and home school. He treats me like gold and he is very faithful.
Good to see some of us aren’t so shallow!!
how tf are you all living on 80k a year…..
When I started dating my husband at 20 (he was 23) he was making half of what I was making. Less then 5 years later I was a married stay at home mom & my husband was making 10x I was. Correctly 14 years later we are very happily married, living in our dream home, & my husband is a doctor. Please don’t listen to these vapid woman, especially if he is ambitious and goal oriented. 💕💖
When I met my husband he was just getting his painting business off the ground and drove a old work van. He said he knew I was the one when I didn’t care (he’s half kidding of course) today we have two kids, a third on the way. I am a full time stay at home mom, raising and home educating our kids and last year he bought us our first home and we rennovated. He is a involved, wonderful and supportive father and partner. Thanks to any women that may have passed him up due to his van 😘
That is sincerely so lovely to hear!🥰 Congratulations on your first home, as well!
Healthy attitude! I'd much rather have a partner who I could renovate our home with, than someone who had money, but no real life skills. Money can go away, for a multitude of reasons, but skills are for life! Congratulations, you two. Seems like you've both won the love/life lottery. Great example for your kids, as well. Super WIN-WIN-WIN!! 👍
👏🎉❤
Congrats!! That’s awesome :))
Giving me hope lol.
The second woman said " you can't afford my bills". Is that what she's bringing to the table? Your bills.
You forgot her attitude. Quite the catch now!
@williamezechel6023 Why do women think that's a brag. As Ric Flair once said, "I spend more on spilled liquor than you make in a year." Now that is how you brag about money, girls.😛
Considering she ate everything else on the table....
My parents used to peel my oranges for me and pay all my bills. These children masquerading as women want a parent, not a partner.
What about the men that want a slave that works full time outside and in the house? 🤡
The irony is that the same women say the same thing about men wanting a "mommy", not a wife.
A-fuckin-men!
Makes you question how bad Generation X and Millennials as parents if their kids are looking for a parent in their partners. Men are looking for a Mother and Girls are looking for a Father.
I have never in my life peeled an orange.... like i have a mandarin but do people actually peel oranges?
As someone who is currently trying to help my partner build up his business, these women are missing out on so much. Participating in his journey, figuring out how to get himself up, and watching his self esteem go up along with his financial success is beautiful. Being able to hear him tell everyone that I have been his biggest supporter makes me feel whole. When you’re with a man through the good, bad, & the ugly, they’ll give you the world. I wish more women understood this.
When I met my husband, he was driving a moped. He was super self-conscious about it, but he lived a mile from everything he needed and was paying for school. It was the difference between $90 a year or $90 a month. So for me it was a huge green flag regarding financial responsibility and willingness to make sacrifices-- and both proved to be true.
We joke how he must of had really good game if he won me over on a moped 🤣.
Did he at least offer a ride on the moped
Humility is a must in a partner! So awesome you found that ❤
@@vollyballgirl257 Why do most women have no logic though?
Seeing the bank account before a first date is like saying "step on this scale and then I'll tell you where we are eating tonight"
Regarding the first woman who wanted to see a guy's bank account before she would go on a date with him. Imagine if the roles were reversed, and the man said that he wants to see her naked first because he wants to make sure that she looks good naked and he doesn't want to waste his time if she doesn't look good naked.
Literally had the exact same thought 😂
Or, if a man said he wants to see her bank account before going on a date with her.
Except men dont care about a womans bank account or social status so that doesnt ring the same way asking a woman for her bank account info.
Body count is a better question. In either case, for every woman there is a man willing to settle.
Nothing wrong with having preferences, but nobody wants to be interrogated on the first couple of dates.
A guy who drove a hot, new, fancy car was someone who didn't share my fairly conservative views about spending money unnecessarily and I usually would turn down a date from him. That was my attitude 40 years ago. Now I realize people can get good deals on a dream car and doing so may not be indicative of frivolous spending.
My husband and I JUST celebrated our 30 year anniversary. We met at 28 and married 3 yrs later. I was making more than he was, even though he had a 4 yr degree and I had a 2. He was pursuing music. As we talked abt settling down, I (who also have some health issues), told him that if we had kids, I can NOT be the breadwinner. He decided to quit his lower paying job and embarked on a career which has provided a really great living for our family. I worked full time for 5 years up till the kids came. I didn’t insist that he get a job that provided for our family, I just made my position plain. We have been very blessed. And, his job has provided opportunities for him to be creative with music now.
That's awesome!
Goos stuff. Communicate -> Act accordingly.
Why couldn't you be the breadwinner and let him be a SAHD? Why the double standards?
Y'all women LOVE bitching about equality but when it comes time for actually being equal, no support in sight. Women love earning more than men, but can't bring themselves to be providers. Ironic, don't you think?
@@thetjdman I have a health condition. No double standards. I am a more traditional person. He now has the income to pursue and record the music he loves, and has been able to enjoy fatherhood (none of his HS best friends have children). It has worked very well for us.
I am so confused on why her bills become his problem? wtf. When I think of a man providing for me to me means that I can count on him any time I fall. I don't think that means actually providing financially for my every whim
That second one... If I went on a date with a girl and she said I had to pay for everything and pay her bills that she got herself in to and pay for an uber, I'd just walk away. Because all she told me is she is self-centred, narcissistic and will be expecting me to do EVERYTHING and she'll contribute nothing to the relationship. A playboy would probably be ok with that if she was attractive and ditch her when bored with her or had his one night stand with her or whatever those guys are after. But she doesn't even bring attractive to the table.
As a woman, if a guy asked me out, I’d expect him to pay for the first date. But I wouldn’t expect him to take me to PF Changs and get me an Uber and pay all my bills and everything else.
While I understand wanting a man who is going to provide and not just dump the financial burden onto the woman, I also agree that this woman took it way too far and was acting like she HAD to have some fancy, crazy expensive date.
Like, newsflash to that girl:
Ubers ain’t cheap. Guys ain’t money trees. Get a grip on reality please.
😂
Agreed. In all fairness though, women doing this is absolutely no different than a man “dating” a woman only for her looks. Both are exceptionally selfish and shallow. However at least these women are being HONEST about their intentions. Whereas most men usually just lie.
I’ve been with my husband for 4 years, we met when I was 20 (he was 24) and now I’m a stay at home mom to our kids while I’m in school. We do not make much, but it’s not important right now. What matters is that when my kids are in school I will go back to work and we will work together to provide for the household. We love each other and will do anything for one another. We love the family we have created, and I am very excited for our future.
My husband has always been a hard worker. When we got together, we had NOTHING! Now I’m a stay at home mom and he makes six figures. He didn’t even have a career.Now he gives me and our children the world. Women don’t want the process, they want the results. I hope young girls choose someone for who he is, because he’s a hard worker. I feel extremely lucky to have my husband and have grown together.
When my bf and I first started dating he was in his last year of college and working overnights at a gym. Once he graduated, he stopped working at the gym and became very lost in the world for a couple months. He wasn’t doing well so I decided he needed a kick in the butt to get going again. He started working at the fast food chain I was at for a bit before going to a higher paying hourly job. He went to a job fair his college offered and got an internship with his current job, where he is now a full time worker and recently received a bonus! And it’s beautiful to see him grow into it and know that I was there to push him when he needed to be pushed. And he’s pushed me when I’ve needed it. Sometimes it seems these women just want a financial caretaker, which is so weird, especially for the boss babe narrative
This. You have to build it together.
what’s his career if you don’t mind me asking?
This is the unfortunate truth.
The irony is that now having a partner for support and motivation is more important than ever, and yet dating and relationships are declining and at the worst they've been in decades.
We're spiraling downwards.
“Women don’t want the process they want the results” -THIS.
Imagine being so shallow that your judging someone on the vehicle they drive. Tell me your materialistic without telling me your materialistic. 🤦🏾♂️ The fact that she made the conscious decision to post it and thought it was a good idea says it all.
Imagine being so shallow that you’re judging some based upon their physical appearance. Tell me you’re ignorant and shallow without telling me you’re ignorant and shallow… can not count the numbers of both men and women who satisfy BOTH.😂
If her first interest is in his bank account I would think you can see her as just a gold-digger
I’ll just leave this here…. 🎶 “I ain’t saying she a gold digger, but she ain’t messing with no broke [dudes]” 🎶
Yeah, usually, asking about the other person job is fine.
But if got asked to show my bank account, I would ask the same immediately of her as well as a condition.
I am just imagining how that car one would go. The guy pulls up and she tells him that she won't be going on the date.
Guy "Oh, is everything alright?"
Girl "Well... it's just... a Prius, really?"
Guy "... You know... actually I think you're right and this date isn't the best idea."
I have been married over 40 years. When I asked my husband about peeling an orange for me, he said he didn’t know how.🤣🤣🤣
😂😂Good answer!
Does the man not have fingernails?? Gah-lee...
Weird answer😂… playing ignorance 😉 My husband of 23 years would most likely just do it for me, should I ask. But aside from playing around I am simply not asking my husband some silly internet questions😂
@@sarahalderman3126weird brag
When I met my husband he didn’t have a car. Now he has a 2024 mustang and a high paying job. I saw that he was willing to put in the effort and I wanted to support him. That’s what counts. We are growing together in that respect.
In other words, you concerned yourself with his "things" and capacity to earn, to consider a future with him. Do you have your own shovel?
@@bentelbow2922what’s wrong with believing and trusting in someone? Even if he didn’t have a lot of money, I know he has a good heart. We take care of each other.
With the whole "pay for the date" thing, the extra stuff like Uber rides and stuff like that really throws me off because it's basically telling me "my time is worth more than yours, so pay me to even be here with you and grace you with my presence". The more "and thens" that are attached to a date, first or not, the less likely I am to desire to be with you.
that's exactly it!! they think they're gracing their dates with their presence and their dates should feel honored that they're even there and it's like that's NOT how that's supposed to work!
💯! I’d be like, it’s not a job-I’m not paying you mileage and a per diem to go out with you! I’m a happily married woman, but I can just imagine being a man in that situation. If someone needs that level of help to arrive at a local restaurant, I will assume they have problems to address before they get into a relationship
I think it's more that you're wasting their time because they don't want a guy who's not rich, which does suck if you put time and even money into them.
That makes perfect sense. Just keep looking for that person that shares your values and that's it.
Some women would make better “professionals” . But since that’s illegal they invade the dating market
The Marilyn Monroe movies is “ Gentleman prefer Blondes” it’s one of me and my daughters favorite movies! It also features the famous performance of Diamonds are a girls best friend!
When I met my husband, he had a 2004 dodge truck that he had fixed up himself, and it was paid off and LET ME TELL YOU that was the sexiest thing I had ever seen.
True.
👍👍 agreed. As a 30 year old woman, a man who is responsible and leads is attractive. Single guys take note. My husband and I have been so poor we were digging for change and so well off we could afford two car payments. Money and looks can vary your entire life, so basing your relationship on such shallow things is just stupid. You aren’t setting yourself up for the future, you’re passing up good character for temporary features. 🤦♀️
Sounds like a blue collar boy, the best boys 😍
To pay for an Uber just to get a girl to come to a restaurant, where I'm paying for dinner... Is INSANE! I'm not paying anyone to come and hang with me. Ever.
She should tone down the attitude. However, she doesn't know him well and always safety first.
My bf is currently looking for jobs, and he's been applying like crazy. I'm super proud of him for that, and sticking to the grind even though it's tough not getting word back or being told no. I stand by him not because of his bank account, but because of the content of his character, and the fact that he can make me feel like a queen without spending a cent. I love him 3000 💚💜
I hope you let him know irl what you just said. It would make his world.
@jfoot2732 Oh, I do! I always tell him to keep going, and remind him it's going to be worth it, and how he's doing a great job. I know it bums him out waiting for someone to get back to him, so I make sure to lift his spirits 💚
"make me feel like a queen without spending a cent." What a keeper, goddamn! I really hope to become such a man, and also, have an understanding girlfriend like you.
@laxminarayanbhandari855 I have no doubts, my guy! I'm sure you'll find yours when you're not even looking 💚 that's how I found mine 😉
Tell him to search on UA-cam for help writing his resume. You have to game the ATS otherwise your resume won't even make it to a real person.
That second woman really rolled out of bed with the crust still in her eyes to hop onto TikTok and demand a man with money 😂😂😂
😂😂😂
Yep 😂
When I was a young boy, adult women would call me a man, have me open jars, kill spiders for them, and thank me for opening the door. The women in my life raised me to be the kind of man they expected a man to be. I had great male role models, who taught me to be self sufficient, how to fix things and solve problems, but I do think it was more the women who taught me how to act like a man and how to cherish women.
As a single mom of a son you're wrong. We women can't teach boys how to be men we don't know how. We can teach you to be a good person but we cannot teach you to be good men. You became a good man because of the good men in your life. Don't strip them of their credit for what they did for you. Yes the women in your life were wonderful and they helped you a lot. They made you a fantastic person. But it was the men in your life who made you a good man.
@@MamaMOB I agree. I love my mother dearly and she has always been fantastic to me, but my parents split when i was 13. It's kinda hard to describe what it's like to lose that male figure in your life.
I think men and women largely need to find quite similar values and traits as they become adults, but we do it differently.
@@MamaMOBI feel like the “teaching someone to be a man/woman” is based on gender roles and fitting a certain mold. Nothing is wrong with gender roles of course, but not everyone is going to fit the same mold. IMO, it’s not about raising you to act like your gender- it’s about making you the person you are. Being turned into a man/woman, to me, is about maturity.
@@MamaMOB "Your experience is wrong even though its Your life. My idea of how things Should work is the only correct way." He said what he said.
@@MamaMOB Don't project just cause u can't do shit for ur sons
I got with my now husband when he lived out of someone else’s camper and basically just eating honey buns, I was living in my car during winter and he brought me a sleeping bag (which I found out was his only one) and did not expect anything in return or make any moves. He did something caring for me without expecting anything in return. That’s when I decided I really wanted him. We have now almost been together for a decade and married for about seven years. 😊 He now makes enough money to support our family and he can never question if I am with him for money, cause I got with him when he had nothing and was basically homeless
Bro, what I wouldn't do to find a woman like you. I'm happy for the both of you
Dated 3.5 years, married at 22, going on 15 years. His car was a piece of crap, white Mazda with a crap black hood. He has always earned less than I do. But we chose to both work and homeschool our kids between us. He works his butt off and would rather be the breadwinner but we aren’t there yet. We sacrifice a lot of money to live our life this way and we are all the more happy because of it. Oh, and he always paid for the dates, and always picked me up. Never asked me for a dime. Bought my engagement ring cash after saving for a year, living off peanut butter sandwiches.
He’s the best father and husband a woman could dream for. ❤
❤❤❤
Weird how you still expect so much from him even though you could just step up and be the provider. If he quit his job to be a SAHD, would you still support him?
@@thetjdman😂😂 we have discussed that and he would be miserable. A man WANTS to work and provide. Kinda a natural drive…..I would question any male without it.
Im a man who just traded in my crappy white subaru with a black hood lol. Got a nice, safe car so that my lady doesn't have to worry if we're going to make it where we're going. This comment helped me relax a bit and feel better knowing I'm making the right moves. She told me the other night she feels safe with me and isn't worried about how our future might end up because she sees I'm not just another loser.
@@thetjdman what is with dudes like you stumbling across the traditional, “high value” women that the manosphere says don’t exist anymore, and immediately mocking and deriding them for not becoming everything that the man should be in a traditional relationship? By the standards and definitions set by the red pill guys, these same women would cease to be the high value women they currently are by becoming the breadwinners and having their men stay home. There’s nothing inherently wrong with that, if that’s the best situation for a certain couple, it’s all good. But most couples wouldn’t be happy with that, because most men wouldn’t be happy with that. They want to _work,_ it makes them feel fulfilled. Let women be women, and men be men.
My first thought with those tests is, if you're doing relationship tests on me and recording it and posting it on tiktok...I'm not going to be happy about that.
I recently got asked out on a date. First time in a long time. "I want to buy you dinner." Cool. I was happy to go out with him. He wanted to meet me after work. Ok. Then I think I want to change out of my work clothes, so I suggest we meet at the restaurant. To this he replies, why don't you pick me up on the way to the restaurant. Um, ok. Only then does it become clear that he has no car. I don't mind driving. What I mind is the lack of transparency. No "do you mind driving?" Nothing. No communication. After dinner he asks me to take him to the store so he can get his vape. Again, not a huge issue, I just don't like 11th hour drops. I will not be seeing him again simply because he didn't communicate with me, and I have a huge issue with feeling taken for granted.
Specifically "11th hour drops". I'm not really into rules of engagement, but reading your post did make me cringe regarding his behavior. It feels manipulative to put you on the spot at the moment of asking instead of telling you in advance. I'm not fond of that for friends I've known for decades, much less a first date. So yeah, I definitely agree with your take here.
I wouldn’t see that man again either.
as a guy without a car i do get the struggle. everytime i inform a dating prospect i don't have a car, she loses interest right away. thinking you are a bum or something else. without thinking about reasons why not to own a car, wich in my case is because my home to work transit is 10 minutes with the bike, and a big warehouse 2 minutes away by bike. and if i really need a car to pick more good/people i can use the vehicles from my work.
but i'm also not the guy that lets his date drop him off, i'l manage to get home, on foot, bike, public transport or taxi don't mind any.
He was probably just embarrassed or insecure about not having a car. I mean where I live that would be a HUGE problem…
@@sarahalderman3126 some of these dudes really dgaf though… they are usually the ones who end up trying to borrow your car and never show the ability or desire to save up for one bc they got yours now 🙄.
I did date a great guy who didn’t have a car for a while, but he was a lot different than the others I’ve met in similar situations! We lived like a mile from each other, he walked or Ubered most places including work. Was up front and never once asked to borrow my car and later got his own. I drove when we went on longer trips and was happy to (even though I don’t prefer it) because he was decent and communicative. And i knew he was working towards more.
I have no issue with those type of guys, but not having a car does make me wary because it’s been fairly essential most places I’ve lived. So not having one usually indicates you have had driving issues or cannot afford to drive.
I was discussing this with one of my friends recently like, do you
REALLY want a relationship or do you just want a sugar daddy that "solves all your problems"?
"cause I've got bills to pay"
Well pay 'em hun, I barely know you and I'm out 😅
“Where are the men with initiative and drive?” In my experience with this whole conversation, men are not asking women on dates, but they are also super offended when I ask them out and have told me they feel emasculated. So there is no winning in this space. I don’t know what to do.
Because you tried like two times, have you tried a hundred, the amount many men have to do before they get a yes? Most guys would say yes, or at least the probability is ten times higher then woman. If you haven’t done it hundreds of times like how a lot of men need to do, I don’t wanna see you complaining.
Keep asking. Intraverts will jump for it. As for drive, lazy is hard to hide.
Cold approaching is all about numbers. The dating gurus who act like they can get any woman's number actually only get 1/10 dates per approach at best.
So you know how the average dude feels, talking to women and being told "screw off creep" over and over again.
@@darklordsauron3415 you talk like you know this lady. She’s her own person, quit acting so judgy. As for you, we can all tell why you might be struggling…I don’t know any guys in my person circle who have to try even just dozens of times to get a girl to respond, it seems to be just you and the circles you run in. That’s on you, bud.
I think the approach to “wanting a man with a big bank account” is wrong. You MUST look for a hardworking man. Someone who is not afraid of working and doing the best for his family. That is, not a lazy man.
No matter how many he has. He can lose everything tomorrow. But his willingness to work and see for his family will not.
As a lazy man, I 100% agree for the sake of building a relationship.
👏👏👏👏👏 EXACTLY
I still find it funny that aex workers think what they do is successful work or even a real job. Even being an internet influencer isnt a real job. If it doesnt actually contribute to society or the country its not a real job regardless of the pay.
Conversely, the man should just leave. The women has shown she is interested in your money first. Any relationship will be built on money, and if you encounter financial issues, the relationship is over. This is not a relationship you want to be in.
I agree with that, personally for me though when dating I look for a man who's generous, rather than rich. Because I feel like "I can't afford to take you out right now but when I get my paycheck I will" is very different than a guy who is really well off financially but still insists on splitting the bill every time
The "peeling the orange" test is so funny to me because every night before bed, I peel and halve 3 or 4 mini oranges for my husband's drive to work. I'll peel them for him when he's home and asks, too. It's never been an issue, it's how I show my love, and gratitude for him. 😂
People in love do things for each other.
I don't understand why some woman don't think they have to bring something to the table too 😅
Men are more than ATMs with two legs
@maibrown2755 They have the loudest present online. Most people are not that shallow.
After thinking long and hard about it I think I know why. It’s because they are a**holes.
They're like the Barbies of the Barbie movie
If you look remotely masculine to them then your not even human to them
Agreed but it goes for some guys, too!
The Marilyn monroe quote is "a man being rich is like a girl being pretty. You might not marry a woman just because she pretty, but my goodness doesnt it help? if you had a daughter, wouldn't you rather she didn't marry a poor man? You'd want her to have the most wonderful things in the world and to be very happy. Well, why is it wrong for me to want those things?"
👏👏👏
The girl in the 2nd clip should be happy to have a date in the first place 😂
So true.
She be the one that has to have money to get a date. Seriously.
Oh damn
Amala again with the even handed energy. You are the goat
My first car was a 1999 Nissan Pathfinder. I had it for a few years, only stopped driving it 6 months ago because it broke down.
We May not agree on everything and that is okay, but you are turning into my favorite UA-camr lately
For the car video, Im not going to lie if i met someone online and after a month wanted to met them in person and he drove up in a white van that radiated "I have candy inside." I might pass on that. Other than that and the trash, there's no reason to reject a guy because of his car.
Here’s the things my grandmother always told us to look for in a man.
-Watch how he interacts with animals and children.
-Car/license shows responsibility.
-Can control his emotions.
-makes sure you are on the correct side of the sidewalk/street while walking together.
-career with opportunity or stability.
-Makes you feel special.
I think this is perfect, and those ladies are doomed to be alone forever.
Which is why it is so incredibly important that women develop the skills necessary to maintain their own independence. It is better to be single for your entire life then with someone who mistreats you.😉
@@sarahalderman3126 Absolutely, everyone male or female deserves a partner that treats them with respect and love. It’s never ok to compromise on that. But I don’t think being single forever is the best plan b. Keep searching for someone that will work with you to build a life.
@@BloodSweatandFears of course, however that can be done through fulfilling friendships and family as well, not necessarily just a marriage. Today it is becoming increasingly clear that men and women, generally, do not have the same goals or motivations in life. For women, again in general, we are motivated to find a committed partner with which to develop a loving and responsive partner to create a family with. However for many men today the goal is to garner as many attractive women as possible. Therefore a young woman must retain her independence and not invest herself into a partner that simply uses her assistance and labor in order to further his goal of acquiring the resources with which to attract a younger and more desirable girl. It simply is not of any benefit to a young girl as she will often expend her energy and life improving a man and is then often left alone in her later years. The number of women this is happening to is astronomical at this point. I seriously can not count the numbers of older women who have cautioned me about this.
I don't understand the rest of my generation. I wanted to grow with my partner. I didn't care how much he made, I just wanted someone to love and respect me and we can figure the rest out later. My partner was literally homeless and barely able to make the bills he had. Almost 4 years later we have two kids, I'm able to be a stay at home mom and he's got a job where he makes over 13k a month. I had his back when he was at his lowest and now he's taking care of our family while I raise the babies until they can go to school then I'll be back at work unless he wants me to home school and I'll gladly do that.
Edit: also the orange peel test is absolutely ridiculous 🤦 my partner knows I'm more then capable of doing it. Ask him to fix a broken door or change your oil or check the fluids on your car, peeling an orange tho absolutely ridiculous 😒
Exactly
Your partner knowing you are capable is the point. Doing something you are incapable of, that has to be done.. doesn't work. He has to do it. Peeling an orange is just a little kindness to show your partner. You don't have to but happily go about it, even doing more than she asks like sectioning it, grabbing a napkin, making a decoration on the plate, etc., because you love your partner.
@@CryHavocWarDogYeah I agree. Not that I believe in using it as a test… but I know that moments in life when a man did something small, sweet, and entirely unnecessary like that for me, it just really speaks volumes. Communicates a tenderness that is sorta priceless.
I'm really curious what your partner's job is so I can see if it's something I could get into, lol. Your story is amazing, and shows "if you want me at my best, love me at my worst".
Let's be honest for a second here, he was one of the few lucky ones.
9:25 insane!! We were broke AF when we got married! We BUILT this life. My husband careered up (licensed electrician) so I could tend the house and be the primary caregiver for our kids, ie be home to raise our sons. Traditional-like. And I’m so happy we started out with nothing. Make us appreciate the success that much more. 💕
I remember being in an office full of girls in Sydney, curious if I was single. When I said I was going out with a girl who's amazing, and I though the only quality I had that she might value was my loyalty. I was looking at seven faces with their jaw on the ground. I was surprised, I don't think any had realised their are a lot of guys that don't cheat.
Wait, what? A group of women asked if you were single, you said no, and the only reason she likes you is because you're loyal, and these ladies...that stunned them? Hm.
Or it could be they wanted to date you and thought you had more qualities than just being loyal!
@@caseyjc5 JUST being loyal? If I'm honest, loyalty is one of the first and primary qualities I look for in a partner.
Women don’t understand that men without many options simply find it easier to be loyal than men with many options. They also don’t understand how hard it is for a guy below average to date at all.
"For better or worse." Where did that go? How shallow for people to choose their dates by car or bank account. These ladies will end up with wealthy creeps. I hope they're happy.
Given that the whole “for better or worse” only ever applied to women, it went out the window when women gained equal rights. This is all just men freaking out because they are finally on a level playing field and they don’t like it.
Uh, I don't know where you came up with that, "given." The man says the vows, too. ....and, who is more often the one cheating?
You're acting like that phrase, and vows, in general, are a form of male oppression against women. When, in fact, it is a self-imposed, self-less act of oppression against your own selfishness. It says that I vow to love you even when I don't feel like it. Let's face it, do you even need a vow to stay together forever when you feel head over heels infatuation with someone?
It's equally there for both parties. The man can't leave his wife for another woman. The woman can't leave her husband if he's not making enough money. Neither of them can leave if the other gets in an accident and becomes disabled or disfigured. It says that no matter what life throws our way, we'll be there for each other. It's placing the marriage above your own selfish ambitions. That is the strong foundation for family when kids come along.
Selfishness is what's killing families and relationships. Our society is so extremely "me-driven" it's disastrous. People break their marriage vows so easily when anything that you'd consider a hardship comes along. "I didn't sign up for this or that." Actually, you did. And yes, I'm sorry, this goes equally both ways. Either side can be selfish in their own ways. People don't know what love is anymore. Love seeks what's best for the other person. It's not selfish.
The key to a successful relationship is giving. Give the other person what they need. That requires knowing what they need. That requires communication. When both people do that, both get what they need. The moment either person becomes a taker and tries to get all they can out of the relationship with the focus of "what's in it for me?," that's when the relationship is doomed. Sometimes, both are takers. They may get along for a while, but it's not a healthy relationship. Eventually, someone will have had enough and find it's not worth it.
Sorry for the long rant, but I'm passionate about the way I see society getting things wrong. People poo-poo traditional views, but I ask, "How's that working out for you?"
19:56: My friend is a fairly well off pharmaceutical researcher and drove a 1990 Toyota Corolla until around 5 years ago. My friends would joke around that when he went on first dates with women, he should pick them up in that car. That way he knew that she wasn't just dating him for his money.
All the male accounting profs I know drive old cars. They make over 200k. 😂 Their wives drive the nicer cars because that is how it goes.
Literally my husband and I started dating with literally 0 in our bank accounts. I didn't care he drove a Ford truck 😂 I drove a shitbox 2000 Toyota salara with rust on the hood. We are now married and I have a new car, we have a house, and we now have just started our careers. He's a fulltime firefighter and I'm an environmental consultant. I loved him regardless of the material things. I love the person not the things or the status. It's painful to see these men and woman say they would deny someone based on a car. How childish
Regarding the lady who complained about never being approached by men. She clearly doesn't understand the changing of the times at all. It's so hard for men these days. I asked out my man cause we worked together and even though it was absolutely clear that we were vibing, I knew that he would never ask me out fearing sexual harassment charges. I remember un the 00's I used to get asked our at bus stops....can you imagine that now days? That's creepy af? You can't have it both ways x
"You can't have it both ways x"
That is where you would be very wrong (and also very right). And I don't say that with any confrontational or disrespectful intent. For all of the women who have bought into the ridiculousness that has been sold to them through TV, movies, magazines and social media they absolutely believe that they can in fact, have it both ways. Not only can they have it, they are also somehow entitled to it. Not only are they entitled to it, but somehow they all deserve it from top tier men who will sweep them off of their feet to pamper and worship them.
The question the young lady asked may have been entirely legitimate though, so I'm willing to give her the benefit of doubt. Although it seems that she just doesn't want to acknowledge the answers that are right in front of her, that you also started to point out:
1) I don't want to say 'afraid' but men have become hyper cautious about approaching because if they're not "The Right" man they will be labeled a creepy stalker or seen as harassing.
2) A lot of men have been burned/shot down repeatedly by putting themselves out there. So eventually they just stop trying.
3) Women, possibly even her, have side lined and friend zoned men who would a) actually be a good match and b) treat them well, because they don't fit the delusional criteria/needs list that has been created.
And of course the counter argument from that side is always "But, but... what about the way men... blah blah blah" Yes, there are certainly men who behave badly. There are men who have treated actual good and wonderful women very poorly or passed them over entirely. But unlike strong women such as yourself, the burden of pursuit or even just initial contact rarely falls on the women. And by the way, good on you for asking your man out. It takes guts and it probably made him feel awesome being pursued a little. I'd be willing to bet he really appreciated it and most certainly appreciates you for it.
As to your comment about 'Creepy AF'... it's only creepy if it's coming from a man she doesn't want the attention from. Sadly, if a man meets all of the criteria and requirements i.e. height, looks, earnings and social status, these type of women seem to be willing entertain a lot of bad behavior or creepiness.
Such a good point. I’m sorry to say but I’m going to declare that if you’re a woman, and you want to go out with your male coworker, YOU have to ask him out. There’s no other way…
I loved this episode. Raising young men in todays day is not easy. They are expected to hold the door for a lady but not assume she can’t get the door for herself. They’re supposed to be emotional but not too emotional or they’re less of a man or called slurs. It’s tough as a parent, tougher as a young man.
I wish that people would focus on more how someone makes them feel and their character rather than their yearly income. Even me being 18 have heard girls my age say they want a rich guy. At this age most people are in school or working and are just trying to figure it out. It's okay to have standards of course and to each their own, but some of them are very extreme. Money isn't everything, but a genuine and loving connection is!!
You are both wise beyond your years. Thank you for sharing your morals and values in a time when we really need them.
Amala, has your boyfriend seen the Scientology and LAPD Audits in L.A.? It's blowing up!
I'm of the mindset that if she feels the need to test me I'm going to fail purposely.
Testing someone’s affection with silly stunts like this is a good way to lose a partner
To be honest, it's such a relief just hearing people such as yourselves expressing what I've been thinking myself for a while. I do feel so sorry for those who are still looking for a partner, it's a jungle out there!
I think that a major problem was identified by Amala. And that is, as she said, *"tiktok brain"!*
Wow. “He has to be my level of success”
Well. Not everyone wants to take their clothes off to make money
At that young age as well
MOST people that don’t do OF actually work their way up, get an education, establish a career and work their way up.
My husband has worked his way up and now runs the entire company by himself, we own our 2 story house, 3 if you count the finished basement.
Paid completely off after 10 years.
People that actually have money in the bank usually are smart with their money, so they use their phones and cars until they dont work even if they can afford newer. Usually people that are flashy also have a load of debt. So you cant judge a man by his car or phone lol
I love Amala’s “car dislexia” because I have the same!🤣 I couldn’t care less about cars, they all look the same!😂 And the are there for a purpose, if they can get you from A to B in a comfortable way, PERFECT CAR!🤣
Lol. I can't tell them apart either. I love pick up trucks though. Like, they look so useful. Vans too! Like in this economy if u lose ur home but still have an income those are cars u can live in and use creatively to stay warm and such. U can even get a kiddie pool snd collect rainwater for bathing and stuff. Like there are creative solutions and I too think of functionality.
Personally, I am a girl who has mild interest in cars, but I’m so helplessly cheap that I’d much prefer a guy be driving around some beat up old junk wagon from the 90’s because it still runs well, than see a young guy who almost definitely doesn’t have the funds blowing it all on some new snazzy car that people will think looks outdated in five years.
(70’s muscle cars and some of those sick 90’s sports cars are where it’s at; modern lambos, BMWs, etc are lame)
Imagine pricing out a potential soul mate over an arbitrary bank balance. She's essentially reducing a human being to a financial investment. That's sad. Money, just like looks, will fade eventually, calibre of character is what stays the course.
That’s what I tell my kids now. They’re too young to completely grasp the concept, but I tell them that when the time comes they’ll understand.
Money doesn’t fade. What are you talking about? The more you have the more you can earn. When I was poor banks would charge me to hold my money. But when you have money banks pay *you*. Seriously, the more money you have the more it grows. This fade comment is ridiculous man
Except if all you are is an ATM then what good are you as a partner?
If you want a man so you can spend his money it makes perfect sense though.
The upside of this is that people are learning all they need to know about people with these attitudes and demands about money, cars etc. if you don’t want to deal with that ick for the rest of your life… RUN!
WoW these folks aren't looking for a mate to spend their lives with.... they are looking for a no love sugar daddy 🤣😂🤣
I met my hubs over 44 years ago.
He mowed lawns for a living at the time.... thank God I didn't care about how much he made.
Today we are quite well off financially.
BUT I have to say our starting years (the first 15 years) we were dirt poor.... and quite honestly the happiest, best times that served to make us stronger as a couple.
I'm 60 he is 63 and we still hold hands while walking, at dinner and such.
He is always watching for things that could hurt me....
I could not ask for a better man 🥰
This is so cute and wholesome. ❤❤
I actually just turned a date down once she revealed she lived with 2 roomates, didn't work full time and her job was based on comission. She expected the meal, drinks, all of it to just be at her beckoning call for me to pay for. That was over before it started.
I also had Prius 2007 until 2020! Wonderful car! Great mileage, drive so smooth, and huge cargo and storage spacr
The true test is asking your husband to cut up the onion for you as you’re making dinner. 😂
No because really, my dad didn’t know how to cut a tomato when he and my mom got married 💀🤚 the first dinner she makes for him in their new home, just after getting back from the honeymoon, he goes to the kitchen to ask how he can help (big ol sweetie that he is), so she asks him to please cut the tomato. He grabs a cutting board and a knife, waits a second, then turns and asks how to cut a tomato. This man had both his mom and his stepmom around, and neither bothered to teach him how to cut a tomato, he had to learn from his wife
I cannot scream this loud enough. When people decide to stay together forever its because they cant imagine life without the other. As a woman if you think you can meet a man after he's already gone through the struggle and is now able to relax a bit in life, and that he's not going to look at you the same way he looks at the other temporary luxuries he's now able to have fun with... I have a bridge to sell you.
I think the biggest issue in the dating culture currently is that theres no rules or standards for women. These women, not all women, want to be a unique individual who cant be boxed into a defined role while men conform to the expectations from yesteryear. You cant even critique them because they can hop in and out of personas at will. For example: the reaction to that second tiktoker is "If you have that preference, I hope you have a good car too". If she does she'll say yes. If she doesnt, shell say thats for men. The third tiktoker wants a masculine man to approach her and yet if you scroll down her page I would bet she has trashed talked, doxxed, or called the authorities on men who've tried to approach her. At any given time these women can avoid critique and accountability by crying that the world itself hates women while also directly creating their own problems.
Someone called it schrodingers feminism. lol
It’s my favourite term
Ohh my word, this is the first time I've heard that one 🤣 🤣 🤣 I love it 😅@@Nylon_riot
Absolutely nailed it.
The BIZZARE expectation that a guy has to have his life 100% together and then he'll just.... pay you to scroll Tiktok and spend his money all day?
I can hardly believe it's real.
I think it's ridiculous for you assume that all single successful men are just looking to use women for fun. As if you can just look at someone's bank account and know their morals and intentions...
my dad always taught me to pay for myself on the first couple dates that way if it doesn’t work out, nobody feels like one party owes them anything!
One major issue is that women want to have all the privileges that men had, but refuse to give up any privileges that they had.
Or take any of the responsibility men had. We still expect men to protect us we still expect men to pay most of the bills. All while taking from them. Because when we work a man doesn't. A man can't provide for his family even though his working wife expects him to.
@@MamaMOB: Truer words have never been said. I remember a girl online actually saying that she expects a man to provide for her, but she still wants to work so that she can still have her own money. Basically she expects him to share his earnings with her, but won't share her own earnings with him.
No one gives their partners any grace anymore, it’s really sad, we were all young and broke once and everyone around us was also young and broke, finding a partner should be about your willingness to stick with them and your shared values, yes money or status makes things easier, but having someone with a good core is far more important.
The orage peel theory/ testing partner: That's called "playing games" kids & SHOULD BE an instant deal breaker. I promise it won't be the last set of games they play!
You put it right when you said ‘a high values man’ and ‘being around to grow and build potential’ being invaluable and a life worth loving…if your focus is just money, you are discounting the humanity we live for and you devalue life, love, support, laughter, compassion, strength, compatibility etc. so question, what happens when he loses this money? Do you stick around? Or what if you lose your money, you preparing to be dumped? Because that is the only value worth considering (excuse the pun)
RE: Woman who wants an established man, it depends where you're at in life and having reasonable expectations. You can't be expecting that out of a low 20s male. But you can invest early in that man to where he's going to be in his life based on character, values and ambition.
I think part of the problem is that so many people (men and women both) have an expectation to have "made it" before they seriously date, get married, have kids. They have this laundry list of goals they have to accomplish before taking those next steps. It seems like with that attitude, you'll never reach the point of feeling ready because the goal post will always be moving. There's also something beautiful about growing with your spouse, not separately. My husband and I have grown together, achieved our goals together, and celebrate together. If I hadn't been with him during this growth, I might not have been able to accomplish everything I have and he could say the same thing.
It is not just masculinity it is also being a gentleman. Chivalry is a lost art, in my opinion.
I absolutely agree, i think this is what the ladies are trying to test for - but in all the wrong ways.
Chivalry can’t coexist with feminism.
Modern women do everything in the wrong ways. Traditional knowledge is mocked.
And where are all the women that haven't been run through by half the college/university? That aren't out partying 5 days a week?
Accountability is still a foreign concept to you. Sorry, but no real man is interested in a woman that half the town has had before. Get over it and stop blaming men.
@@mothbreeder641 Yeah see, alot of us have just removed ourselves from the dating pool and are just investing in our education and attending church. This way we can contribute to the world even if we cannot find our happy ending. Alot of women who have saved themselves have been called prudes and are ostracized. Your best option is to maybe take a dance class or do a church/volunteering activity where you have more statistical chance of finding your choice in partner.
Been dating my bf for 5 years . He's an engineer and 6 years older than me while I am student. He makes 2000 euro/month and with only one salary we are great, we have fun and enjoy life. Neither of us want a lavish luxurious life.
Sounds great, ty for sharing.
I think the young lady who won't date a person in one of those perfectly good (and, in the case of the Jeep, awesome) vehicles is really saving those preemptively dumped individuals a massive amount of drama, annoyance, and pain were they to stick around. So good on her, I guess.
I have been getting into your videos more and more, and I really enjoy hearing your perspective on these topics of debate. Overall, your points are very logical and it is very refreshing to always hear a new perspective on topics from a calm, logical point of view.
Regarding relationship dynamics between men/women, I like how you highlighted the changing role of women in an economic sense. I grew up in a household where my mother was always the main provider, and I consider myself to be a very independent and self-confident woman. I don't care if a guy opens the door for me or pays for the meal, etc etc. But I have dated some men that try to emasculate themselves by trying to taking on more traditional roles (which I don't fault them for), but I've run into issues with this "balancing act" many times. Idk. I'm rambling a bit, and it's hard to express my thoughts here, but I always appreciate your views and how it gets me thinking
lol Taylor I feel you! My first car at 18 (ten years ago, wow) was a 1998 Plymouth Breeze!😂 People never heard of that. In my whole life I’ve only seen one other one out on the streets.
I have never heard of (and maybe never seen) this car, and I was a junior/senior in high school then 😂😂😂
Watching this I think I’m gonna be writing down what I want and my values for a man, and then write down what I bring to the table. If I want a high value man I need to be a high value woman, so I’ll be back after I’m done doing that
Ok so I think I’ve got fair standards
For what I want, roughly my height, is dating for marriage and possible kids in future, we share at least one hobby preferably two so we can spend time together, same religion, makes roughly what I make money wise so there’s not really a power imbalance and finally does not mind going Dutch on a date.
What I bring to the table, I pay my own bills, I can pay for my half of the date, I’m great with kids and animals, I’m a great cook, but unfortunately I’m not the best house keeper I keep things sanitary and dishes done up but there is always some kind of art supplies on any available surface so while clean, I am not tidy so I guess I should add doesn’t mind a messy home. I know that most likely no one’s gonna read this but it was a good exercise to see if my own standards were too high or if I needed to bring more to the table
That's a great exercise!
She keeps saying "I'm sorry." Ma'am, I don't think that phrase means what you think it means.
I also had to laugh at "If ya'll drive these cars, you need to reevaluate yourselves because... Anyway, here's another example." xD
When my wife and I got together, I was earning 4x what she was...and also had a house. After our kids came along my wife had issues where she couldn't drive due to medication. She then started to work on her career and I became the Uber Dad for all the to and from school and all the other activities. We are no longer financially care free but we provide everything that our kids need but we are happy. What I am trying to say is that life happens and changes the dynamics and it is better to know the person and grow with them than look for things like bank accounts and who peels oranges
Asking a man about his bank account is similar to asking a woman about her body count. The difference is that men understand and accept the callous of women. Women, on the other hand, scoff at the idea of accountability.
Except only one of those things (money) is relevant to the future and raising children.
@@ems3991 not true. The body count is an accurate predictor of whether or not the woman will value the marriage enough not to abandon or betray it when times get tough or when she catches feedings for someone else.
@ems3991
Accountability matters when raising children. If you are an individual who cannot accept your fucked up, you won’t realize your kids are assholes because you as the parent is an asshole. When my child acts out in anger, I have to remind myself that it was I who first acted out in anger and must remember that I set the example. Accountability is incredibly important in all aspects in life, it is how you avoid being an entitled piece of shit.
They're similar in that they're not questions you're asking straight out of the gate. "Hey! Nice to meet you! Open your banking app and show your bank account" is not a good ice breaker, the same goes for "Hi, how are you, how many men have you had funsies with?" If you value this, it's something you should eventually bring up, but not in the first 5 minutes sheesh.
@@GearForTheYear And you know that how exactly, besides just deciding that its true? People who are in their first relationship cheat, people in a 30 yr marriage cheat
These young girls these days are so concerned with men paying for all of their bills when they forget that a relationship is supposed to be 50-50 and you’re supposed to share your lives equally. When I go on a first date, I always bring money with me just in case, if he wants to be a man and take up the tab that’s perfectly fine but if he wants to split, I’m not gonna complain about that either I’m not gonna expect somebody to pay my way
Never trust a single woman giving dating advice. You want good, honest, solid advice, find a woman who's been married for at least 10 years and then go talk to her husband. Gotta get both sides of the story.
Being married for 10 years does it mean you're in a happy marriage or that you'll give good dating advice. What you should do is ask advice from someone who's happily married. That's what I learned from my first divorce
Yes, Amala! I love your statement, "How do you if he's going to be a man, if you don't allow him the opportunity to be a man."
I expect to pay for my own side of a date for 2 main reasons:
1) We have equality, I work a job, and I make my own income. There is no practical reason why anyone should have to pay for my part of a date.
2) I have a tendency to feel indebted to someone who does something nice for me, and don't want to be in a situation where I stick around despite alarm bells or red flags solely because he paid for me (I don't mean ditching on a date that is simply boring, or anything like that).
Depending on the situation, this isn't necessarily something I'll stick to 100% of the time. It can change depending on the circumstances. I totally understand a guy wanting to be traditional; I just want him to understand why I may be hesitant and where I'm coming from, is all.
I married my husband when he was a warehouse worker for a school district. He later became a cafeteria manager of a school, and later of 2 schools. We do not make much money at all. My salary is donations because I'm a pro-life activist. We have a very fulfilling life. He has a daughter from a previous marriage, we have a bio daughter, and we have 2 sons we adopted from foster care. If I'd chosen not to give him a chance because he wasn't rich, I would have missed out on so much. My 1st husband was a custodian, and later a school bus mechanic. I can't imagine caring so much about being rich. I have nothing against rich people at all. I just can't understand caring that much about money.
It's a red flag if someone asks for your bank info, if they make you pay for everything and they don't have their affairs in order themselves. I can see people exchanging that info before getting married to make sure they're not stuck with debt that don't belong to them or to get their finances in order when planning for the future.
My first thought would be if they’re going to scam me later or something.
Maybe not right before getting married. I personally think those conversations can be had when the relationship is more solid and you know you both want the same thing out of life/in a partner. Finance should be discussed WAY before walking down the aisle but not on the first date. There’s a time and place for that.
@@chazzitz-wh4ly well that's true if you think funding her lavish lifestyle until she gets bored and then giving her half your money is being scammed.
Thank you for exposing shallowness, blatant hypocrisy, & insanity in your videos. These are among the many reasons why I left dating behind in my late 30's. This was starting to happen heavily in the 90's. Also, when women date "Bad Boys" it messes up the dating scene & sends mixed messages to normal/mainstream men. We may never get out of this abyss when it comes to dating. Great video.
Okay, but if the woman is providing "beauty" and the man is providing "income" then what is he getting for the other things he provides? Is she saying she'll date an ugly dude who provides income? She'll lose her beauty with age while his income will probably increase, along with their savings - now what?
Also, Amala hits an important point on the head: Many men only start settling down to achieve great things once they have a mate there to push them to settle down and achieve - the woman adds to the partnership in how she motivates her husband as well.
She absolutely nailed that point, and it seems so completely lost on 90% of people somehow.
How on earth do you expect someone who has their life together to settle for you?
I must not be a high value woman 😂🤣. I always asked before my first dates whether or not we were going to split the date. That way I knew if I could go a specific time. Didn’t have to split with any of them, but I always wanted to make sure. Plus, my boyfriend for almost 4 years now paid for everything on our first date. Pulled up in a car that wasn’t perfect, but I didn’t care. He is amazing! Loves me, loves my kids like he loves his own. He still opens my doors, made my trust issues practically disappear. Makes me laugh all the time, holds me when I cry. Talks with me about any issues we have, instead of shutting down, which sucks when people do that. Doesn’t make a shit ton of money, but we have what we need. We struggle a little, of course, with this economy who isn’t. I wasn’t looking at his paycheck to make sure he could take care of me financially. That isn’t what I was looking for. He provides for me in the most important ways. We take care of each other. We work together. What a relationship should be.
If she's worried about your bank account, then she'll have a moment and then the look for another bank account. She's not looking atv the man! She's looking at her wardrobe and the car she wants you to buy her, basically spend her money and spend yours!
My priority lies with loyalty. My man was working at a post delivery service for 9 years by then and I love his loyalty and karakter. And we went for our first date to grab an ice cream. Still married for 7 years.
Good for both of y'all!