Wow! You made me remember my "awakening" moment! I was @32 (female) just home from long commute living in a rented room and I was about to go upstairs without dinner (as usual!). All of a sudden something changed in me! I turned on all the downstairs lights and cooked myself a three course meal and have never looked back! I was good enough to treat myself well!
My life has not turned out as expected, because the expectations I had for myself in childhood were so low. The people who surrounded me in my formative years were generally unthinking, unreflective, unambitious, cardboard cut-out humans with few aspirations and thoughts beyond the television schedule, the weather, local gossip, and the price of a pint of milk. They lived lives of excruciating tedium and manufactured drama to compensate for the vacuum of genuine fulfilment in their lives. It wasn't until I was 25 that I spread my wings and started to live my life on my terms - not seeking validation from others and not following any prescribed path. I left the toxic environment of my home town as soon as possible and life has been an adventure since then - ups, downs, but not dull.
I feel like Daniel is Russian because in Russia we do not see doctors, we just share our pain, our struggle with friends and relatives. We do not hide our feelings. One year that I spent in the USA was the most difficult year in my life, people are not humans there. The culture where you are always supposed to be ok otherwise you are regarded to be a looser is detrimental to the society. Americans are the most closed people in the world despite their shallow smiles.
@Lulu Lu Yes he is the most authentic person I’ve ever experienced I’m very much like Daniel also and he has really validated all that I’ve been doing to heal myself . I’ve been watching him from day one. We all SO NEED THIS INTUITIVE BRILLIANT AND EMPATHIC MAN IN OUR LIVES. He is so rare. God bless him. I observe the very same things as him and I relate to him in such a deep sense.
I grew up with spiritless parents and later got into relationships with people who were afraid to be alone. I was too and I held onto them, as painful as it was, emotionally and physically. Proud to be ‘different’ and not co-dependent on anybody else for happiness. Thank you!
i also had a realization like that recently, that i'm the only one that always understands me and is always on my side, and realizing that really does open you up to an amazing amount of self-love and a feeling of independence. i wont abandon myself emotionally anymore by saying and thinking negative things about myself. i love your videos, please keep uploading.
My family has mostly been very supportive of me. But I was always rejected by my peers as a child. So because of my family I always knew my own inherent worth, but because of my relationship with my peers I considered myself flawed and inadequate for life. I was only reminded of the idea of being my own ally VERY recently. It was when I was looking over some photos of myself as a child and it's like something just clicked in my head. It's so soothing to hear someone else talk about the same things.
When i First found your videos i was just a psychology student looking for more alternative approaches. But you really touched my heart. You speak what i have been thinking for years and that's so powerful. I sincerely hope you keep going. Love from austria
Psych student aswell here! Good to listen to someone who talks in such an authentic way. Being a bit tired of the countless theories/models/visions I get to learn and see every day at the university to be honest.
@@xldd79 I feel the exact same way. I HATE the way we are taught and don't want to conform to any outdated theories or prescribe to the current medical model. Ultimately, I would love to do my own holistic style of counseling that doesn't prescribe harmful drugs or diagnose people.
Peter Breggin is actually on this channel as well. He's in my film Take These Broken Wings. ua-cam.com/video/EPfKc-TknWU/v-deo.html&feature=emb_logo I think I also have some other clips from an interview I did with him on this channel.
Daniel you speak directly to my soul. I grew up in a very privileged environment. Everyone was so fake. I developed eating disorders, depression and addictions. I could never figure out what was wrong with me - I thought I was flawed when in fact I was like a fish out of water, in a pretend world of status symbols and make-believe. My parents thought I was crazy, when in fact I realise today that I was incredibly healthy. Today I live a simple life - totally different from the way I grew up. I taught my kids to love themselves and I hope I have given them something I never got. I also enjoy a relationship with myself and talk to myself every day - I thought I was kind of unique too in that respect but I found people along the way who did the same thing - and thought it was a positive trait, instead of putting it down to mental instability! Great video - please keep them going. All my love to you Dan.
Also I relate to the mirror moment. I looked into my eyes a lot as a child and that helped me stay sane. I also had a mirror moment when I was 23, I looked into myself into the mirror and saw my emaciated skeletal like body and something clicked only I could save myself. Thank you again Daniel. You speak the truth and are awesome!! ❤❤❤
I needed this today. I am just learning no one in my life can feel like I do. I don’t see it as superior, and maybe it’s just natural that most people aren’t like this. It’s certainly not easy. It does get lonely though, with no one to share all this with.
The more I heal, the more I realize that most everyone, most every culture has been "programmed" with varying degrees of bad relationship with the self. Lonely world when expanding consciousness threatens the dysfunctional, and exploitive systems we depend upon
I have always had this. It was so natural, that I didn't know and understand, that others didn't have it. I was always calm inside and happy. People called me different. It found it just soooo weired how they behaved and why they did nonsense stuff, that is not even good for them. I would now call it a higher self. It was really hard for me to understand. And I had lost this all during to very long narcissistic abuse. Thank you so much for this. That's all I need.
Thanks for this revealing heartfelt video. I had a similar experience a few months back. I'm 68 and I had gotten high (it became legal in my state) and went to the bathroom mirror to see if my eyes looked "stoned". They were. And I smiled. And then it happened -- I saw my reflection in the mirror differently than I'd ever seen before. It was somehow like I was seeing the "real" me, not the temporary me, for the first time. And I realized that that "me" had been with me my entire life, through everything, and that it/I was my best friend. It's hard to explain in words because it sounds so narcissistic...but it's like I saw my "eternal" self; the self that had guided me through all of the dangerous paths I'd chosen to take, like "Footprints In the Sand". But instead of it being some external "god", it was and had been inside me the whole time. It's helped me feel more settled now just being by myself/selves. LOL.
Mr. Mackler, your insight into parents that are fake is the truth ... fake love ... fake honesty. If a child thinks is parents love him but they really hate him the can lead him to hell on earth and he wouldn't even know it. Your truth is a blessing in my life. Finally, someone is telling the truth and not siding with the parents that have the money and social influence to get away with child abuse.
I had a painful childhood like yours - raised by toxic parents.. etc. so I can relate to everything you said. I have never heard of anyone mentioning that “looking In the mirror staring at myself” moment feeling some type of way, but I too, I experienced that in my young adult year! I remember looking at myself and wondering - who is this person? Why do I look like this way? This is the beginning moment of my conscious awakening. The separation of my spirit and superficial forms.
Awareness can be painful but is always well worth it. Finding out we’re different from “the herd” is always a surprise, but in a good way. Finding out that we’re not powerless in spite of our abusive caregivers surrounding us is a gift from above. Your brain IS different Daniel. People who are gifted don’t always realize it’s not about IQ, it’s a way of relating to the world. Check out giftedness and how kids with a high IQ View the world in a way that’s different from others. I can tell from watching your videos that you have an IQ in the gifted range. Not freakishly high, but high. Check it out. It fits with everything you’re presenting in your videos. Do others have this insight? Yeah. Any IQ can have awareness. But not everyone will get this way of being in the world or thinking internally on another level.
I have tears coming down my face listening to this. I can relate so deeply to everything you are saying. Thank you so much for your authenticity and vulnerability. Beautiful articulation. Inspiring,
Jung said somewhere (my terrible paraphrase of something read several decades ago!) that it was impossible to transcend the self without having a reference greater than/outside of the self.
Wow! Someone who has experienced this and explained my mind to a T! Shortly after this SELF knowledge and love I dove head first into Carl Jung!!! And the hitch hiking. Lmao I began hitch hiking from truck stop to truck stop for a few years. This is beautiful! Thank you for sharing!
Your bicycle adventure sharing reminded me of mine. I was also around 20 years old at that time, and I remember that one day, I thought to myself that perhaps I should go for a long bicycle ride so to challenge my mind and body, and I went for one on the following day. It wasn't a long overnight trip, but a short one day trip. But perhaps one thing which set that trip apart from my other trips is that I went to the wrong path and had to carry my bicycle by my hands across tall hills, until I reached to the village at the other end of those hills. I planned to cycle across those hills at the beginning, there were a few staircases at the beginning of the paths, and I thought there aren't actually much and that I can handle the terrain when concrete pavements are shortly following. However, as I kept moving on, I realised that actually there are only slopped mud road and more staircases behind. I wanted to return back as I was exhausted, but then I realised that the returning path can be as long as the remaining path at that moment. I then decided to carry on to move upwards and hang on to the pain and exhaustion. I remember that I actually felt quite proud of myself when I finally made it to the top. I still remember the beautiful scenery, the steep cliffs, the blue sea, and the baking sun. I remember that I managed to finally ride on my bicycle on some downward going sections of the path, and they were such a great relief and comfort. I remember that when I finally arrive to that checkpoint, that fishing village, it felt like I have experienced something difficult with my friends and we managed to help each other out together. Although the reminding bike ride still had some difficult sections, but I felt most fulfilled at that beginning hill walk part of the whole journey.
I can so relate to you even as a child I said im adopted. Mum said if you were adopted I wud have giving u back. Its only when I found out about codepency and narcissist abuse. Everything made sense. I'm not meant to fit in I'm born to stand out. Im here to rock the boat.
Not sure about that. In fact I really wish Daniel make a video about spiritual enlightenment. But his views are psychological, not spiritual. I mean his goal is to have a better and loving relationship with "self" while in Buddhism and other eastern spiritual teachings, "waking up" means understanding that basically "self" is an illusion and doesn't exist. I think there's a fundamental difference here.
Actually its his first experience to finding a loving God. That relationship between him and the one that created him and loves him. In buddhism (after personally studying for nearly 10 years) you find out that there was no love. Instead,all you do is throw out your emotions and your ability to connect with other. Buddhism is. A false teaching from the darkness of this world. Jesus loves you, reject him or not, but follow his gospels of love and truth.
@@ctwofirst6635 I prefer truth and not fantasy, but everyone chooses their fate in the end. too much evidence exists for the Bible to exist than a buddhist fantasy. I started off as Buddhist and can say never again will I go back to that demonic oppressed life. Jesus sets you free
Hey Daniel, I completely understand, i too had this realisation at 10, which has led me to Coaching. My opinion is that it’s my deepest authenticity away from all conditioning and yes, most are still stuck there meeting conditioned needs...i too had parents like yours (so it seems from this communication) ...i woke very early....i only fully realised this last year... the moment we fully connect with ourselves and God/Universe/Nirvana/Equilibrium..etc...i find quieting my mind through meditation i can link into this state....the only state....back “home” 👍🏻🙏🏻
Though I didn't know it at the time, journalling probably helped save my life when I was a teenager. My parents were also disinterested and crushing. As a mother who loves her child intensely, I'm still saddened that I wasn't loved, cherished and encouraged. I love your realness, Daniel. How you explain your growth through doing fear making things makes total sense. Best wishes to you 🌺
I have just dropped out of college for a second time... I was so convinced there was something wrong with me my whole life... I really am starting to think and see how much of a narcissist my father is, constantly calling his mother one and even though she is one, he takes no action to do better and learn, thats the biggest issue. His self-hatred and my grandmothers self hatred spread onto me at 20 but I'm taking the neccessary steps to heal. Its time to figure out a way to distance myself, go back to college, and live MY life. I really think my dad hates me in some way. He dropped out of college; He always says he wants to impart lessons on to me that he learned so I dont make the same mistakes but he never once sat down with me and helped me plan for college. Im starting to see the hypocrisy. Im just at a loss.
You’re helping me so much uncover the parts of myself where I have kept lying to myself. I know that what you say is true because I have lived it. I have healed from many diagnosed mental illness by being honest and raw with myself. Now that I’m more “normal” I have gone back to the lying and not about the things I had already healed but just other layers. Or more like i didn’t go back I just noticed the layers I haven’t healed. When I was struggling for survival there were things I didn’t even think about like money and dating. I was so mentally ill I was dying from an eating disorder and was completely broken in every single way possible by being honest with me I healed so much and I’m so proud of what I have accomplished. I’m ready to continue. Thank you for your bravery. ❤❤❤
This connection with your being when you looked at the mirror. That's exactly what I 've felt after all these years of living on this earth for 28 years. My prior years were filled with conditioning from family and society. and I was split from my core and living untrue to myself. But this time, I was seeing myself and accepting my being when I looked at the mirror. This was my first time I asked myself '''How can I be more of myself?'' as before I would ask myself ''Who am I gonna be?''.
I started following you because I thought I wanted to be a therapist. Then the idea scared me. I resonated when you said “I wanted to be a different therapist” I’m 29 years old and I’m in my first college course in my life. Basically I want to be a part of change. Change the way people are thinking about themselves as well. In my 20s being a new mom and trying to find myself brought me to nearly losing myself. But I made a choice to do things that bring me joy and get me closer to my purpose. I’m feeling with you on wanting to help people find their inner voice. ❤️
Another great video Daniel - thank you! I have a comment re: your journaling being a conversation with your self: It sounds like you were having a conversation with what the Internal/Integrated Family Systems (IFS therapy) folks call the "true self". According to IFS, we are comprised of many different aspects (that they call "subselves") - some are children selves frozen in time, some are protectors, and some are managers (like your "true self"). So here is my comment: you can have a conversation with other parts of yourself if you like (I often "talk" to my shamed child self) while journaling. Basically, I write a comment or question to her, and then she writes back (albeit this looks like it is only me writing in the journal). I highly recommend it if you would like to get in touch with more aspects of yourself through journaling. Again, thank you for your wonderful honesty of being in these videos.
@Stardigrade P I can see your point, that they are the same greater self! Yes, they are the same "self" at the 50,000' viewpoint. But if you are zeroing in on the different aspects that make up the larger composite whole, then it is useful to speak directly to that individual aspect of the larger self. IFS therapy suggests that by speaking to these separate aspects/subselves and addressing that part's specific concerns, it allows us to understand and heal our larger selves in a much more effective manner than if we approached the internal dialogue from a composite-self perspective. I have found this to be true for me. Also, the idea that there are "parts" of me who can be calm and courageous, even when other parts are causing me to experience crippling fear, is very comforting. I no longer see myself as all-good or all-bad, since I am a whole of many different aspects who can feel (and behave) differently at the same time. So, in a nutshell my reply is... yes and no. I don't intend to be enigmatic! I hope that explanation helps ❤
Hey Daniel. 👋 I recently found your videos and it really helped me to make sense of my life and what I've been going through. I had a great mother who showed me lots of love and gave me the freedom to be myself but I had a really critical father who always put me down. Bcs I was rejected I was seeking the validation in school and I became really popular in elementary and in high school. After I graduated I was kind of lost, now I "needed" to work and the rules of what society deemed at as cool changed. I overworked myself to a point of a burnout and later experienced psychosis which has really helped me slow down and live a happier life. I'm a couple of years in on my persobal growth journey and overcoming things. Your videos are such s great help so thank you for putting them out there and for being you. Love, Jean ❤
Amazing, you put into words something I have experienced too, but could never really figure out why I was enjoying myself so much while not fitting into the norm. My life has been quite unusual, it’s been a roller coaster. Had some extremely tough lessons to learn and many moments of sheer bliss. I’m alone a lot of the time, especially after removing several key people from my life who, as you described, did not seem to love, respect or want the best for me, and feel very happy alone. I still love meeting people, going out dancing or for dinner, but don’t need it to be happy. A tutoring student this week announced that everyone is lonely, and I told her I wasn’t! I do think we are fed this story that being alone is a negative, but wonder what insights I would have missed if I didn’t spend so much time just contemplating the nature of existence 🥰 we’re the same age Daniel. I really appreciate your work 🙏
I resonated so much with this. That unexplainable feeling of perspective, reflection and (in my opinion) faith too. Confidence in yourself that goes beyond your external abilities- but is in tune with a deeper part of you that always seems to know the answer. Using intuition and self trust from a young age I decided the people I should be around and the internal mindset I should have. This wasn’t 100% conscious at the time but looking back I see the authentic self leading me to these decisions. I have consistently positively reinforced this process of listen to intuition, trust in it, act (maybe take a risk, or maybe to act is actually non-action), reflect of the highs and lows of the action and repeat. It’s certainly not comfortable because it doesn’t always tell me what I want to hear- but it’s authentic.
Love the hobbies and people and interests you love. It doesn't matter if you love yourself or not, just discover what you love on the outside, and become good at something. The self-love will come with mastery of something. Become great at something and you'll become proud of yourself... Even if it's something simple like keeping a tidy home or being good at drawing or cooking.
Dr Gabor Mate said something in one of his talks (might be 'When the body says "no"), he explained that self love isn't what we might typically think it is. He said to the audience something like "just the fact that you are here today, attending this talk, is evidence that you love yourself." So maybe consider, the very fact that you watched this video, is proof that you are looking out for yourself, you do care. I hope that helps ☺️
Look up "self compassion"... It's changed my life for the better in so many ways! :) You'll get there, I still keep reminding myself that I'm "practicing" self compassion... It's silly, but I'll get off track and good myself yelling at myself that I've failed at self compassion, haha... But you only fail if you stop trying ;) It's so worth it. Hang in there. You're worth it.
Thank you. I needed this. I’ve been feeling very disconnected from myself and my true nature. I’ve been shopping a lot.... looking for external things... and hating myself. This came right on time.
Honestly, as long as I have a good relationship with myself, I am fine. Not being narcissistic here but the only one you're gonna have for a lifetime is you. You're born alone, you die alone. All other relationships are just extra. I see so many people putting their lives into someone elses hands. And what happens when their relationship ends? They suffer. They become mean. And angry. I think it's a very courageous thing to get to know yourself and to prioritize the relationship with yourself.
I love everything that you said… everything. It is scary being authentic and true to who you are but at the end of the day it’s better to love yourself and get rejected by others then to be loved by others by being fake because your not being true to yourself… because you end up hating yourself. Like you said when you looked in the mirror when you were 10 ( which was my big take away) you saw that you did have someone there for you. Yourself. That’s huge. It makes me cry. I was a kid who dissociated most of my childhood. So I didn’t get that moment of consciousness that anything was messed up until I was an adult with my own kid going through her own trauma and it hit me like a ton of bricks. My trauma and childhood and all the feelings. I got us both into therapy and have been for years now slowly trying to work through profound neglect. Anyway I’m going to share this with my 13 year old and see if this helps her work through some of her thought processes. She’s been struggling with seeking love outside of herself and I keep telling her she needs to focus on her. Maybe it’s me that’s not giving her enough love but she pushes me away so I don’t know what to do either. So maybe your words of wisdom will help.
Love it Daniel… So much of what you say I can 100% connect with and feel exactly the same...you have a way of articulating it that really resonates with me and I wish that I was able to realize these things long ago. I am 40 now and have been blessed with many talents that have gone unfulfilled do too me not taking the reigns...feeling that inner fear that I never truly faced has been a detriment and now I have grown in this comfortable setting that leads to some sort of resentment for the people that have never given me the confidence I needed to take the next step. This video really sheds light on that... I see that it is not anybody else’s problem and that I need to look within rather than holding onto those feelings of resentment (which I mostly have let go anyways but sometimes I still don’t know how to take the reigns because I have never honed that skill). I am now going to try to connect with my inner self...thank you.
Dear Dave, please check out Alba Weinman Hypnotherapy on UA-cam. I ressonate with your words and maybe those videos help you as much as they helped me.
I really enjoy your videos Daniel and I always take the time to listen to them and sometimes I look back at your old videos as a reflection and reference to my own life experiences and they’re quite similar thank you for being real because they really have help me continue to help me and I’m sure others as well thank you.
I throughly enjoyed this video,its almost like your sitting in the opposite chair from me in the same room.i can relate to so many things you mention.The mirror experience you explain is like an epiphany,i too have experienced that feeling.Thankyou x
I love you so much daniel. You put words to parts of my experience that i havent articulated yet. Ive often spoken with myself of my spark. Keep warm :)
You being real IS helping people
tim 666 more than he realizes.
@War Stories & Life Changing Advice not my intention, happy to change it, wishing you well
A lot!
I agree absolutely!
Maybe, maybe not.
Wow! You made me remember my "awakening" moment! I was @32 (female) just home from long commute living in a rented room and I was about to go upstairs without dinner (as usual!). All of a sudden something changed in me! I turned on all the downstairs lights and cooked myself a three course meal and have never looked back! I was good enough to treat myself well!
Dude, please continue. You're awesome, Don't leave UA-cam.
And he never did 😂
👍👍👍👍👍💚
My life has not turned out as expected, because the expectations I had for myself in childhood were so low.
The people who surrounded me in my formative years were generally unthinking, unreflective, unambitious, cardboard cut-out humans with few aspirations and thoughts beyond the television schedule, the weather, local gossip, and the price of a pint of milk. They lived lives of excruciating tedium and manufactured drama to compensate for the vacuum of genuine fulfilment in their lives.
It wasn't until I was 25 that I spread my wings and started to live my life on my terms - not seeking validation from others and not following any prescribed path. I left the toxic environment of my home town as soon as possible and life has been an adventure since then - ups, downs, but not dull.
I love that :) I'm 24 and trying to do the same now.
@@b.peikert2391 The destination for all of us is the same, so enjoy the ride!
Adventure. Right. 👍
Adventure, adventure, adventure. Love it. 👍💪
For me it's the exact opposite. I thought when i was a 8-14 years that i was/could be exceptional, but i'm not, i'm just an average Joe.
I feel like Daniel is Russian because in Russia we do not see doctors, we just share our pain, our struggle with friends and relatives. We do not hide our feelings. One year that I spent in the USA was the most difficult year in my life, people are not humans there. The culture where you are always supposed to be ok otherwise you are regarded to be a looser is detrimental to the society. Americans are the most closed people in the world despite their shallow smiles.
What if I tell you l can relate to everything he told?Btw,l'm from China.
@@Rikachen-zd7jpsame from Africa 😂
Ah, the Russians. That famously well-adjusted populace.
Dan is the most authentic person I ever seen ..love Daniel so much and you are never alone :3 :)
I concur
@Lulu Lu Yes he is the most authentic person I’ve ever experienced I’m very much like Daniel also and he has really validated all that I’ve been doing to heal myself . I’ve been watching him from day one. We all SO NEED THIS INTUITIVE BRILLIANT AND EMPATHIC MAN IN OUR LIVES. He is so rare. God bless him. I observe the very same things as him and I relate to him in such a deep sense.
Lara O'neal yes! He is so empathetic, loving, caring, honest, courage and real!
Yes! I agree Daniel is very Authentic. It's crazy how much I relate to almost all of his videos. They're are helping me heal
I admire his courage.
:3 indeed
I grew up with spiritless parents and later got into relationships with people who were afraid to be alone. I was too and I held onto them, as painful as it was, emotionally and physically. Proud to be ‘different’ and not co-dependent on anybody else for happiness. Thank you!
i also had a realization like that recently, that i'm the only one that always understands me and is always on my side, and realizing that really does open you up to an amazing amount of self-love and a feeling of independence. i wont abandon myself emotionally anymore by saying and thinking negative things about myself. i love your videos, please keep uploading.
My family has mostly been very supportive of me. But I was always rejected by my peers as a child. So because of my family I always knew my own inherent worth, but because of my relationship with my peers I considered myself flawed and inadequate for life. I was only reminded of the idea of being my own ally VERY recently. It was when I was looking over some photos of myself as a child and it's like something just clicked in my head. It's so soothing to hear someone else talk about the same things.
When i First found your videos i was just a psychology student looking for more alternative approaches. But you really touched my heart. You speak what i have been thinking for years and that's so powerful. I sincerely hope you keep going. Love from austria
Psych student aswell here! Good to listen to someone who talks in such an authentic way. Being a bit tired of the countless theories/models/visions I get to learn and see every day at the university to be honest.
Another psych student! I guess he just knows communicate things we all feel but don’t know how to
@@xldd79 I feel the exact same way. I HATE the way we are taught and don't want to conform to any outdated theories or prescribe to the current medical model. Ultimately, I would love to do my own holistic style of counseling that doesn't prescribe harmful drugs or diagnose people.
@@maricamaas2326 No I have never heard of him.
Peter Breggin is actually on this channel as well. He's in my film Take These Broken Wings. ua-cam.com/video/EPfKc-TknWU/v-deo.html&feature=emb_logo I think I also have some other clips from an interview I did with him on this channel.
Im 55 and struggle everyday to get out of the Funk .........Glad i found your channel !!!
Binge watching Daniel Mackler's videos and now I know why. Omg I'm not alone. Someone whose finally not fake.
Daniel you speak directly to my soul. I grew up in a very privileged environment. Everyone was so fake. I developed eating disorders, depression and addictions. I could never figure out what was wrong with me - I thought I was flawed when in fact I was like a fish out of water, in a pretend world of status symbols and make-believe. My parents thought I was crazy, when in fact I realise today that I was incredibly healthy. Today I live a simple life - totally different from the way I grew up. I taught my kids to love themselves and I hope I have given them something I never got. I also enjoy a relationship with myself and talk to myself every day - I thought I was kind of unique too in that respect but I found people along the way who did the same thing - and thought it was a positive trait, instead of putting it down to mental instability! Great video - please keep them going. All my love to you Dan.
I learned not to trust adults when I was growing up.
It's hard to get over.
Why would you want to? It's a completely rational perspective.
2nd grade, my first year in public school. betrayed.
To this day i trust no one. Any time I've tried, I've only gotten burned. And I've never placed really high expectations, either.
My man it is 2019- who is rejecting you? You've helped me and I'm sure thousands of others, keep on keeping on.
Conscious insights are solidified by language. You are great, Daniel!
Also I relate to the mirror moment. I looked into my eyes a lot as a child and that helped me stay sane. I also had a mirror moment when I was 23, I looked into myself into the mirror and saw my emaciated skeletal like body and something clicked only I could save myself. Thank you again Daniel. You speak the truth and are awesome!! ❤❤❤
I needed this today. I am just learning no one in my life can feel like I do. I don’t see it as superior, and maybe it’s just natural that most people aren’t like this. It’s certainly not easy. It does get lonely though, with no one to share all this with.
Cymric I feel the same way
The more I heal, the more I realize that most everyone, most every culture has been "programmed" with varying degrees of bad relationship with the self. Lonely world when expanding consciousness threatens the dysfunctional, and exploitive systems we depend upon
I have always had this.
It was so natural, that I didn't know and understand, that others didn't have it.
I was always calm inside and happy.
People called me different.
It found it just soooo weired how they behaved and why they did nonsense stuff, that is not even good for them.
I would now call it a higher self.
It was really hard for me to understand.
And I had lost this all during to very long narcissistic abuse.
Thank you so much for this.
That's all I need.
Thanks for this revealing heartfelt video. I had a similar experience a few months back. I'm 68 and I had gotten high (it became legal in my state) and went to the bathroom mirror to see if my eyes looked "stoned". They were. And I smiled. And then it happened -- I saw my reflection in the mirror differently than I'd ever seen before. It was somehow like I was seeing the "real" me, not the temporary me, for the first time.
And I realized that that "me" had been with me my entire life, through everything, and that it/I was my best friend. It's hard to explain in words because it sounds so narcissistic...but it's like I saw my "eternal" self; the self that had guided me through all of the dangerous paths I'd chosen to take, like "Footprints In the Sand". But instead of it being some external "god", it was and had been inside me the whole time. It's helped me feel more settled now just being by myself/selves. LOL.
Mr. Mackler, your insight into parents that are fake is the truth ... fake love ... fake honesty. If a child thinks is parents love him but they really hate him the can lead him to hell on earth and he wouldn't even know it. Your truth is a blessing in my life. Finally, someone is telling the truth and not siding with the parents that have the money and social influence to get away with child abuse.
I love listening to you. It makes me feel better.
I'm so thankful for your existence and courage.
I like you. Keep it real brother!
I had a painful childhood like yours - raised by toxic parents.. etc. so I can relate to everything you said. I have never heard of anyone mentioning that “looking In the mirror staring at myself” moment feeling some type of way, but I too, I experienced that in my young adult year! I remember looking at myself and wondering - who is this person? Why do I look like this way? This is the beginning moment of my conscious awakening. The separation of my spirit and superficial forms.
The most important relationship is the relationship with ourselves
Preach!!!! It’s healing to hear you speak.
This should have a million views. This really helped me out tonight. Thank you ❤
Daniel, your contribution is beautiful. Please keep posting. The world needs your insight and honesty. Thank you for your work.
Awareness can be painful but is always well worth it. Finding out we’re different from “the herd” is always a surprise, but in a good way. Finding out that we’re not powerless in spite of our abusive caregivers surrounding us is a gift from above. Your brain IS different Daniel. People who are gifted don’t always realize it’s not about IQ, it’s a way of relating to the world. Check out giftedness and how kids with a high IQ View the world in a way that’s different from others. I can tell from watching your videos that you have an IQ in the gifted range. Not freakishly high, but high. Check it out. It fits with everything you’re presenting in your videos. Do others have this insight? Yeah. Any IQ can have awareness. But not everyone will get this way of being in the world or thinking internally on another level.
I love how you get right to the point
Thank you for sharing your experiences
I have tears coming down my face listening to this. I can relate so deeply to everything you are saying. Thank you so much for your authenticity and vulnerability. Beautiful articulation. Inspiring,
Jung said somewhere (my terrible paraphrase of something read several decades ago!) that it was impossible to transcend the self without having a reference greater than/outside of the self.
I love Jung. I lot of what he said resonates with me.
Wow! Someone who has experienced this and explained my mind to a T! Shortly after this SELF knowledge and love I dove head first into Carl Jung!!! And the hitch hiking. Lmao I began hitch hiking from truck stop to truck stop for a few years. This is beautiful! Thank you for sharing!
Your bicycle adventure sharing reminded me of mine. I was also around 20 years old at that time, and I remember that one day, I thought to myself that perhaps I should go for a long bicycle ride so to challenge my mind and body, and I went for one on the following day.
It wasn't a long overnight trip, but a short one day trip. But perhaps one thing which set that trip apart from my other trips is that I went to the wrong path and had to carry my bicycle by my hands across tall hills, until I reached to the village at the other end of those hills. I planned to cycle across those hills at the beginning, there were a few staircases at the beginning of the paths, and I thought there aren't actually much and that I can handle the terrain when concrete pavements are shortly following. However, as I kept moving on, I realised that actually there are only slopped mud road and more staircases behind. I wanted to return back as I was exhausted, but then I realised that the returning path can be as long as the remaining path at that moment. I then decided to carry on to move upwards and hang on to the pain and exhaustion.
I remember that I actually felt quite proud of myself when I finally made it to the top. I still remember the beautiful scenery, the steep cliffs, the blue sea, and the baking sun. I remember that I managed to finally ride on my bicycle on some downward going sections of the path, and they were such a great relief and comfort. I remember that when I finally arrive to that checkpoint, that fishing village, it felt like I have experienced something difficult with my friends and we managed to help each other out together. Although the reminding bike ride still had some difficult sections, but I felt most fulfilled at that beginning hill walk part of the whole journey.
I can so relate to you even as a child I said im adopted. Mum said if you were adopted I wud have giving u back. Its only when I found out about codepency and narcissist abuse. Everything made sense. I'm not meant to fit in I'm born to stand out. Im here to rock the boat.
Yes, you inspire many of us Daniel!
You inspire me, brother
This is how I have always felt, hearing this from someone else, exposed with such eloquence, is very validating.
In Buddhism, this is referred to as waking up.
danny had a spiritual awakening
Not sure about that. In fact I really wish Daniel make a video about spiritual enlightenment. But his views are psychological, not spiritual. I mean his goal is to have a better and loving relationship with "self" while in Buddhism and other eastern spiritual teachings, "waking up" means understanding that basically "self" is an illusion and doesn't exist.
I think there's a fundamental difference here.
Actually its his first experience to finding a loving God. That relationship between him and the one that created him and loves him. In buddhism (after personally studying for nearly 10 years) you find out that there was no love. Instead,all you do is throw out your emotions and your ability to connect with other. Buddhism is. A false teaching from the darkness of this world. Jesus loves you, reject him or not, but follow his gospels of love and truth.
I prefer reality to the God fantasy.
@@ctwofirst6635 I prefer truth and not fantasy, but everyone chooses their fate in the end. too much evidence exists for the Bible to exist than a buddhist fantasy. I started off as Buddhist and can say never again will I go back to that demonic oppressed life. Jesus sets you free
Hey Daniel, I completely understand, i too had this realisation at 10, which has led me to Coaching.
My opinion is that it’s my deepest authenticity away from all conditioning and yes, most are still stuck there meeting conditioned needs...i too had parents like yours (so it seems from this communication) ...i woke very early....i only fully realised this last year... the moment we fully connect with ourselves and God/Universe/Nirvana/Equilibrium..etc...i find quieting my mind through meditation i can link into this state....the only state....back “home” 👍🏻🙏🏻
Check out Alba Weinman Hypnotherapy on UA-cam.
I needed to hear this🌸
Though I didn't know it at the time, journalling probably helped save my life when I was a teenager.
My parents were also disinterested and crushing. As a mother who loves her child intensely, I'm still saddened that I wasn't loved, cherished and encouraged.
I love your realness, Daniel. How you explain your growth through doing fear making things makes total sense. Best wishes to you 🌺
I have just dropped out of college for a second time... I was so convinced there was something wrong with me my whole life... I really am starting to think and see how much of a narcissist my father is, constantly calling his mother one and even though she is one, he takes no action to do better and learn, thats the biggest issue. His self-hatred and my grandmothers self hatred spread onto me at 20 but I'm taking the neccessary steps to heal. Its time to figure out a way to distance myself, go back to college, and live MY life. I really think my dad hates me in some way. He dropped out of college; He always says he wants to impart lessons on to me that he learned so I dont make the same mistakes but he never once sat down with me and helped me plan for college. Im starting to see the hypocrisy. Im just at a loss.
You’re helping me so much uncover the parts of myself where I have kept lying to myself. I know that what you say is true because I have lived it. I have healed from many diagnosed mental illness by being honest and raw with myself. Now that I’m more “normal” I have gone back to the lying and not about the things I had already healed but just other layers. Or more like i didn’t go back I just noticed the layers I haven’t healed. When I was struggling for survival there were things I didn’t even think about like money and dating. I was so mentally ill I was dying from an eating disorder and was completely broken in every single way possible by being honest with me I healed so much and I’m so proud of what I have accomplished. I’m ready to continue. Thank you for your bravery. ❤❤❤
This connection with your being when you looked at the mirror. That's exactly what I 've felt after all these years of living on this earth for 28 years. My prior years were filled with conditioning from family and society. and I was split from my core and living untrue to myself. But this time, I was seeing myself and accepting my being when I looked at the mirror. This was my first time I asked myself '''How can I be more of myself?'' as before I would ask myself ''Who am I gonna be?''.
It took me waaaayyy longer to realize I existed! Jeez! Better late than never, I guess.
Your explanation on self realisation was "wow"! As if you explained my own experience.
Awesome!
I started following you because I thought I wanted to be a therapist. Then the idea scared me. I resonated when you said “I wanted to be a different therapist” I’m 29 years old and I’m in my first college course in my life. Basically I want to be a part of change. Change the way people are thinking about themselves as well. In my 20s being a new mom and trying to find myself brought me to nearly losing myself. But I made a choice to do things that bring me joy and get me closer to my purpose. I’m feeling with you on wanting to help people find their inner voice. ❤️
Another great video Daniel - thank you! I have a comment re: your journaling being a conversation with your self: It sounds like you were having a conversation with what the Internal/Integrated Family Systems (IFS therapy) folks call the "true self". According to IFS, we are comprised of many different aspects (that they call "subselves") - some are children selves frozen in time, some are protectors, and some are managers (like your "true self"). So here is my comment: you can have a conversation with other parts of yourself if you like (I often "talk" to my shamed child self) while journaling. Basically, I write a comment or question to her, and then she writes back (albeit this looks like it is only me writing in the journal). I highly recommend it if you would like to get in touch with more aspects of yourself through journaling. Again, thank you for your wonderful honesty of being in these videos.
@Stardigrade P I can see your point, that they are the same greater self! Yes, they are the same "self" at the 50,000' viewpoint. But if you are zeroing in on the different aspects that make up the larger composite whole, then it is useful to speak directly to that individual aspect of the larger self. IFS therapy suggests that by speaking to these separate aspects/subselves and addressing that part's specific concerns, it allows us to understand and heal our larger selves in a much more effective manner than if we approached the internal dialogue from a composite-self perspective. I have found this to be true for me.
Also, the idea that there are "parts" of me who can be calm and courageous, even when other parts are causing me to experience crippling fear, is very comforting. I no longer see myself as all-good or all-bad, since I am a whole of many different aspects who can feel (and behave) differently at the same time.
So, in a nutshell my reply is... yes and no. I don't intend to be enigmatic! I hope that explanation helps ❤
Hey Daniel. 👋 I recently found your videos and it really helped me to make sense of my life and what I've been going through. I had a great mother who showed me lots of love and gave me the freedom to be myself but I had a really critical father who always put me down. Bcs I was rejected I was seeking the validation in school and I became really popular in elementary and in high school. After I graduated I was kind of lost, now I "needed" to work and the rules of what society deemed at as cool changed. I overworked myself to a point of a burnout and later experienced psychosis which has really helped me slow down and live a happier life. I'm a couple of years in on my persobal growth journey and overcoming things. Your videos are such s great help so thank you for putting them out there and for being you. Love, Jean ❤
Thank you, Daniel. You embody and express an invitation to live and BE in a beautiful and generous way.
Hi Dan, beautiful messages ☀️🧘🏻♀️🎯
Amazing, you put into words something I have experienced too, but could never really figure out why I was enjoying myself so much while not fitting into the norm.
My life has been quite unusual, it’s been a roller coaster. Had some extremely tough lessons to learn and many moments of sheer bliss.
I’m alone a lot of the time, especially after removing several key people from my life who, as you described, did not seem to love, respect or want the best for me, and feel very happy alone.
I still love meeting people, going out dancing or for dinner, but don’t need it to be happy. A tutoring student this week announced that everyone is lonely, and I told her I wasn’t! I do think we are fed this story that being alone is a negative, but wonder what insights I would have missed if I didn’t spend so much time just contemplating the nature of existence 🥰 we’re the same age Daniel. I really appreciate your work 🙏
I’ve been seeing for these truths. Thank you so much. Only just beginning at age 45 ❤❤
I resonated so much with this. That unexplainable feeling of perspective, reflection and (in my opinion) faith too. Confidence in yourself that goes beyond your external abilities- but is in tune with a deeper part of you that always seems to know the answer. Using intuition and self trust from a young age I decided the people I should be around and the internal mindset I should have. This wasn’t 100% conscious at the time but looking back I see the authentic self leading me to these decisions. I have consistently positively reinforced this process of listen to intuition, trust in it, act (maybe take a risk, or maybe to act is actually non-action), reflect of the highs and lows of the action and repeat. It’s certainly not comfortable because it doesn’t always tell me what I want to hear- but it’s authentic.
18:00 totally agree with you. Keep postings Daniel!
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
I wish I felt that way towards myself, too. To love myself despite everything.
Keren Duchan I think you work at it over time; in my opinion it feels more like self acceptance than self love.
Love the hobbies and people and interests you love. It doesn't matter if you love yourself or not, just discover what you love on the outside, and become good at something. The self-love will come with mastery of something. Become great at something and you'll become proud of yourself... Even if it's something simple like keeping a tidy home or being good at drawing or cooking.
Dr Gabor Mate said something in one of his talks (might be 'When the body says "no"), he explained that self love isn't what we might typically think it is. He said to the audience something like "just the fact that you are here today, attending this talk, is evidence that you love yourself."
So maybe consider, the very fact that you watched this video, is proof that you are looking out for yourself, you do care. I hope that helps ☺️
Look up "self compassion"... It's changed my life for the better in so many ways! :)
You'll get there, I still keep reminding myself that I'm "practicing" self compassion... It's silly, but I'll get off track and good myself yelling at myself that I've failed at self compassion, haha... But you only fail if you stop trying ;)
It's so worth it. Hang in there. You're worth it.
Thank you 🙏🏽 so much 🙏🏽
Just wanted to add another thank you and let you know how valuable your content is to one more viewer
Namaste Daniel. Thank you for wonderful post! Yes you are inspiring us!!!
How fortunate for you that you had that awakening moment at a young age. It changed your life then and there.
I've had that same experience and I've never heard someone explain it like you Daniel.
Great video, thanks for sharing.
You're such an awesome soul! Thanks Daniel!
Thank you for being you.
Thank you. I needed this. I’ve been feeling very disconnected from myself and my true nature. I’ve been shopping a lot.... looking for external things... and hating myself. This came right on time.
I LOVE YOU, being hated by my family showed me how to love everything about myself and others
This is HUGE! 👏👏👏
I’m pretty sure this is a game changer!
I’m very grateful for your sharing, Daniel!
You are emotionally very brave. You have incredible resilience and self-awareness. And you are blessed that you discovered it so young.
Honestly, as long as I have a good relationship with myself, I am fine. Not being narcissistic here but the only one you're gonna have for a lifetime is you. You're born alone, you die alone. All other relationships are just extra. I see so many people putting their lives into someone elses hands. And what happens when their relationship ends? They suffer. They become mean. And angry. I think it's a very courageous thing to get to know yourself and to prioritize the relationship with yourself.
I love your videos. Such an inspiring soul
Yes, you do inspires Us!
SO great this one. Thanks for sharing.
Thankyou for being you
You're amazingly insightful. Thnx👍👏🌻❤
I love everything that you said… everything. It is scary being authentic and true to who you are but at the end of the day it’s better to love yourself and get rejected by others then to be loved by others by being fake because your not being true to yourself… because you end up hating yourself. Like you said when you looked in the mirror when you were 10 ( which was my big take away) you saw that you did have someone there for you. Yourself. That’s huge. It makes me cry.
I was a kid who dissociated most of my childhood. So I didn’t get that moment of consciousness that anything was messed up until I was an adult with my own kid going through her own trauma and it hit me like a ton of bricks. My trauma and childhood and all the feelings. I got us both into therapy and have been for years now slowly trying to work through profound neglect.
Anyway I’m going to share this with my 13 year old and see if this helps her work through some of her thought processes. She’s been struggling with seeking love outside of herself and I keep telling her she needs to focus on her. Maybe it’s me that’s not giving her enough love but she pushes me away so I don’t know what to do either. So maybe your words of wisdom will help.
you are so wise, love your videos
Love it Daniel… So much of what you say I can 100% connect with and feel exactly the same...you have a way of articulating it that really resonates with me and I wish that I was able to realize these things long ago.
I am 40 now and have been blessed with many talents that have gone unfulfilled do too me not taking the reigns...feeling that inner fear that I never truly faced has been a detriment and now I have grown in this comfortable setting that leads to some sort of resentment for the people that have never given me the confidence I needed to take the next step.
This video really sheds light on that... I see that it is not anybody else’s problem and that I need to look within rather than holding onto those feelings of resentment (which I mostly have let go anyways but sometimes I still don’t know how to take the reigns because I have never honed that skill).
I am now going to try to connect with my inner self...thank you.
elsa Grace You really misread the sentiment of what I was saying...I don’t blame anybody......... that being said I appreciate the advice
Dear Dave, please check out Alba Weinman Hypnotherapy on UA-cam. I ressonate with your words and maybe those videos help you as much as they helped me.
Thomas Müller Great thank you for that! Is there a specific video from hers in particular that you feel I should watch?
I'd rather recommend you choose intuitively and to just be open for the experience.
Thomas Müller Sounds good… Thanks again for the suggestion
Thank you, I like this.
I really enjoy your videos Daniel and I always take the time to listen to them and sometimes I look back at your old videos as a reflection and reference to my own life experiences and they’re quite similar thank you for being real because they really have help me continue to help me and I’m sure others as well thank you.
Really like your openness and honesty
I really enjoy listening to your take on life and personal development. Thank you for these videos.
I throughly enjoyed this video,its almost like your sitting in the opposite chair from me in the same room.i can relate to so many things you mention.The mirror experience you explain is like an epiphany,i too have experienced that feeling.Thankyou x
Thank you
Thank you Daniel
I... IMMENSELY relate!!! Thanks a lot for putting it in words like this.
This is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you so much, Daniel
Amazing! Very helpful!
Thank you Daniel :) You are a brave sweet soul ♥
this is one of your best videos. thanks for sharing :)
Just incredibly helpful .thanks
I love you so much daniel. You put words to parts of my experience that i havent articulated yet. Ive often spoken with myself of my spark. Keep warm :)
Thank you. Your words are touching deep wounds inside of me. This helps realizing it's not only me. It helps me, getting my feet on the ground.
It's a pleasure being real with you! Your videos definitely spark some good thoughts on my end. Keep it up!
Thank you. Just thank you.