“The illiterate of the twenty-first century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.” Alvin Toffler
If I hadn't looked within myself and kept trying to heal I would be in a very dark place now. Thankfully I kept looking for answers. Thanks Daniel for reminding us all that we are all brave and courageous souls who follow this path.
Not looking within is dangerious. What we dont know about ourself does very much hurt us. Jung..."Those that look out dream, those that look within awaken" lt has saved my life.
I have started to understand why poeple don't look within. It is hell like you said. ONe of the best things i have done! It is painful and I love every moment of it. I know in the long run it is for the best
Thank you God for this caring soul. This is a blessing of a revelation. Sometimes we let the enemies win and discourage us. We shall speak our stories in healing
Being born in a toxic family means that you are taught to ignore their sickness and protect their pathologic lies. Telling the truth and revealing your pain to outsiders are considered a form of betrayal and as such , like in criminal gangs, the traitor must be rejected and punished in the most cruel way. That's the cause of our lifelong conflict: to tell the truth and be faithful to ourselves or to lose the love of the people who are an intrinsic, essential part of us, the people we desperately loved and needed most. I think regardless of which decision we take, the pain is immense, perhaps it will continue to stay within us forever. We live in a world where there is so much hypocrisy, family is still seen as a perfect institution and saying anything "bad", even if it is true, is considered a taboo by many. And one is then treated like a black sheep.
@Sil26439 We loved those people and needed them most but did not lose their love by telling the truth because they never loved us. The pain of truth telling is immense and probably forever but the pain of continuing to be surrounded by toxic people is worse and lasts longer.
The truths set me free by speaking what family members said and done. The demonic kingdom hates being exposed. My mind is at peace releasing deceptions of others.
@@BL-sd2qw What is referred to as «within», actually just means the truth. - looking at what we are. We are meant to just be that. Everything that’s left, when we take away this «within», is just our manifestations of our «need» to suppress it.
Something strange is happening for me - I'm owning my childhood abuse, finally at 51 stepping into my power that was taken from me and finally asking for the boundaries and respect I need and deserve. I'm finally being able to feel loved (and love others!) in a *true* way....but I had to (and still have to do) the really scary work of rejecting the old family style I was taught. It's terrible and uncomfortable, but for the first time I really feel like me. It's a very strange kind of magic. Thank you Daniel for your bravery. Your words are healing many.
Not following and doing negative religious and social media actions of family members separated me and my siblings. Plus not being and chasing material things allowed me to be free of material enslavement.
I'm a grown man and only a yesterday did I fully realize that my biggest bully in life has always been my own father. So crazy. Time for me to take care of me!
Similar. The worst part of being bullied at school was that I wouldn't be free of it going home. Others have shared their experiences as I've shared mine. It is horrible and freeing to look another man in the eye and see the tumult of emotions when they realize they have felt that depth of rage towards their father. We are not alone, even if our childhoods taught us otherwise. I found Complex PTSD by Pete Walker to be a great resource. May you go in peace, strength, and kindness, my brother in pain.
Yes yes yes. I’d recommend you watch the therapy session with Carl Rogers - I believe it’s something titled “Carl Roger’s counsels individual on hurt and anger” There are amazing insights.
I’m literally choking back tears… the things you are saying are exactly how I feel and I have never met someone who relates like this. I did not know that I needed to hear this from someone else.
You're the best therapist - that I don't need anymore! The revelatory moment really was the realization that I don't need permission to genuinely love myself. Doesn't matter what was done, or wasn't done to me as a child. Love myself as is, unconditionally.
Self-awareness simultaneously comes with other-awareness too, particularly how others treat you. With new awareness comes new boundaries and thus, the conflict begins…
Thank you so much Daniel. This is the video I needed. I’ve always been different from my toxic family because I don’t tolerate lies and hypocrisy and I can’t pretend I wasn’t abused by my parents and my brother. The hardest thing is that I can hardly talk about it with anyone, because even my friends don’t want to hear about bad and abusive parents. I keep looking inside because honesty towards myself is stronger and more important than acceptance from others. I recently bought your book "Breaking from your parents" and it is such a useful and important resource. I no longer feel so alone.
It seems like a voice from a dream when someone you never met describes how you feel better than yourself. How is this possible? This lonely inner journey is exhausting. Tiredness is sometimes worse than the pain... When you have seen, you cannot un-see, but sometimes you feel that you cannot continue. There was a lot of crying watching this.
Its a lonely rough road. That tiredness is so hard to push through. You do all these things and you think "once I get to this plateau I'll be able to fix myself, and then there's another. I hope that once I get to a place where I can start grieving that I can resolve enough traumas to at least get the consolation prize of having parts of my own joy/boundaries/spontaneity back. I hope everyone here can do that and our lives won't just be curled up in a ball in the corner of an apartment having nightmares and being anxious for the next 30 years.
I’ve been crying all day trying to literally not kill myself it’s that bad today has been sense this morning. Sorry you’re going thru it. Stick with the truth tellers and helpers ❤ I’m not gonna change for anyone else anymore
@@mariahconklin4150 I hope you're feeling better today and getting a break from the dark feelings. I can relate. I need you on Earth so pls stay. Sending love
@@mariahconklin4150 "You Won't Change Me" -1976 Black Sabbath (Ozzy Osbourne sang the song, but bassist Geezer Butler wrote those lyrics as he did with all their lyrics) I don't know if Black Sabbath is your type of music. Nevertheless it's the same attitude you or I have. If anything, sometimes I can occasionally be too accommodating! Yet I slap myself in the face when I find this happening and I stop it ASAP. Keep staying strong!
I can completely and wholeheartedly resonate with every single word you speak, and I absolutely LOVE Your Authenticity!! Peace, Love, And Light from My Heart To Yours!! 💖
Daniel: I needed an ally especially during the last year. I set aside all external distractions last April so I would be available to myself without distraction. Over 7 decades of unshed tears, unspoken heartache and locked down anger were what I was hoping to release. In that journey I've learned invaluable insights that I previously never came close to accessing despite decades and tens of thousands of $$ of personal work. A huge realization recently was that I am not the personality that I have honed since birth. I realize I had created that personality in my attempt to provide a substitute for non-negotionable human needs which weren't being met. Who I thought was me was only part me, the rest being adaptations I cobbled together to survive. It would be dishonest to say that isn't sobering and scary but onward and upward from here, the journey continues.
Coming to terms with the fact that the you you thought you were was not ever the real you, but a false self you created as a response to traumatic experiences and external factors that were likely beyond your control (certainly in childhood) is a truly terrifying thing and I think to varying degrees it happens to every human in the world. It certainly has been for me. But all of the terror is nothing compared to the gratitude and hope for the future when I get glimpses of the real me. My god it’s painful. So bloody painful, but so worth every single minute of heartache to get to the true you!
Daniel thank you for being an ally. I can always feel better knowing at least one other person out there thinks and feels the same as I do. Thanks for making this video even though you’re super tired, it is very relatable!!!
My inner child is so scared and needs lots of reassurance. It's hard work to process our pain and doing it bit by bit so he doesn't get overwhelmed and go back down, which he does anyway just to get restbite. Hoping he can stay with me more and more as i heal him
When I started working as a therapist 5 or 6 years ago, your channel used to make me feel so guilty for participating in the field. Now I spend a lot of time at home after a best friend passed away. I visited other therapists and realize that your videos are not about therapy exclusively, but how unhealthy our society truly is. I was mocked by some for being a "radical" and shrug off by both therapists and psychiatrists for thinking too much about "normal things in society" according to them. When I brought these issues up while I was working at the time, people in the field either become defensive or label me as a radical. Now I looked back at your videos and see that I don't need to feel guilty that much since I already did all I could for clients. I was depressed after I quit and old clients called me to invite me to run workshops for them. I cried and thank them to reaffirm me that I didn't hurt them through the process. I have this excessive guilt eating me inside when I was a therapist. I would be afraid to hurt clients the same way the mental health field has hurt them in the past. Those phonecalls from old clients made me realize that they truly appreciate me as a person, not as a therapist. I'm now diagnosed with multiple neurological conditions (probably was there at birth), and need to rethink a lot about life. I tried both religions and different forms of therapy and they didn't work for me. Then I rewatched your channel based on suggestions from people on Reddit, and boy, I feel so validated by you.
Its not the technique that matters ... its the character of the therapist. Most therapists i saw started to project onto me after a while....i cant do the work in the presence of someone that is judgmental and can't understand what i'm telling them. Personally i think you need to believe in yourself...the guilt merely sounds like a schema....as a hypnotherapist I'd go straight for that feeling. If you are more mainstream in your beliefs then Jeffrey Young's Schema Therapy should clear this. Brief and effective therapy is possible but it helps as a therapist to know your own character intimately ... try the YSQ L3 (it's free) to see if the guilt is merely a predisposition caused by a schema. Dont assume it's a true reflection of reality (your badness) ...because you sound very different to the vast majority of therapists who are incapable of helping people along the path.
I used psychedelics to find who i am, took multiple years and dozens of trips, but i finally figured it out. Everything made sense. My childhood, my impulses, my tendencies, my doubts and fears, my anger. I found myself in this existence we call life. If you are curious, then do what i did and dive into the void. But I have to warn you, you will experience both sides. Eventually, you will have to face your "demons". I'd recommend starting small and with a trusted friend. Its not a race, so be kind to yourself and take it easy. Build up to the bigger trips. Good luck.
Also during the trip listen to the Butthole Surfers album Psychic, Powerless, Another Man's Sack, Gingerbread Man by The Residents, any album by Caroliner Rainbow, Trout Mask Replica by Captain Beefheart, and Free Jazz by Ornette Coleman. Anybody who takes this advice can thank me later.
@willymwambaru-ez9ic Same here and agree re finding comfort within yourself. Branding us crazy is a manipulation technique that not only discredits us but also shifts blame onto us. As Javier Milei says, "Long live freedom, damn it!" - in our case, from their lies!
I decided to look within and what I found was somewhat surprising. I found those big life changing moments that usually included an element of suffering had a purpose. For me the most profound moment in my life was when I had heart break in my early 20's. I was shown internally the reason that heart break was so gut wrenching was because I experienced myself as pure love and then the loss of that person leaving (me leaving myself again). Here the whole time I was focused on the female but was shown she was only a vehicle used to open a window so I could actually experience myself in physical form. We agree to forget ourself in order to experience ourself and then to remember ourself.
Growing up I was always called an awful, vicious, evil and mentally ill person who doesn't ''let bygones be bygones''' every time I would bring up any incident from my horrific childhood, who had my narcissistic mother as a perpetrator. People said that I should go see a psychiatrist because something is wrong with me. I chose one to go to at 22 and he said that he cannot diagnose people he hasn't met, but my mother ticks every box for malignant narcissism and he suggested total no contact and gray rocking. It's much easier to harass the victim into silence, rather than acknowledge that the abuser is at fault and face their wrath and the people who do that are self centered cowards. Of course they will use every weapon they can find to prevent you from looking back and looking within.
Yeah, I assert few simple boundaries in my life towards family, and they act out instantly. It took them few moments to readjust, but it also made me realize, they don't see the real me, they see what they want. I no longer fit into their box, nor ever did, but the way to deal with that is too keep as far as away as possible, or not invest into those relations. They are dead ends.
I have been shaking my head “yes” this entire video. Thank you for confirming so much of what I have suspected was true. We are no where near the level of emotional maturity required to accept, let alone embrace what it takes to go to the bottom on purpose in order to reach our potential of living our best life. People in the spotlight who share with the world that they are doing serious work get laughed at or spoken of negatively. I guess the idea is to normalize first, our unaddressed early childhood trauma and the reality that everyone would do better to do the hard work. Maybe someday but not today.
Great video, you are very courageous as a man. Vulnerability is not easy for a man. What I see as a problem in all of us is this goes back many generations. Everything was swept under the carpet. Learning to work and make a life and have children were all you needed. I didn't have children because I didn't want them living in a world of dysfunctional delusion and struggles. I'm 70 and find it unreal to how children were treated even after everyone came out about our parents. Thank you for your outspoken video.
Some days I don’t want to look within. Sometimes I wonder how it’s like to be unconscious of everything. How do people live without being awake to their deepest truths and the effects of their childhood on them. But I remember how I felt when I couldn’t see myself or wasn’t allowed to be awake because it means betrayal of my family and being alone in the world… I was miserable, angry and confused. And perhaps that’s how most of the world lives. They may be unconscious and loyal to their ancestors pain, but they would never be able to see the light in them and in the world… Daniel, I’m 30 years younger than you but, maybe we were born to look within, we were just chosen to live this life. And I’m happy to have you as an ally!
Understandably so if they've observed others going through it. Not an easy path. When someone is playing life on beginner mode, seeing hard mode looks crazy.
Exactly! I’ve been a therapist for 20-years and you are the first person I’ve found who’s been in the field who’s had the courage to make these discoveries. Anyone who gets there has had to walk the loneliness, most terrifying path anyone could ever walk, and likely, had to overcome not only the screwed up messaging in their family and the larger community, but probably had been misled by a handful of therapists too. It’s truly amazing that any of us make it through that gauntlet, and it explains why there are so few of us. Thank you for being courageous enough to put this out there… I’m still working up the courage to start a similar channel myself!
I am very tired too Daniel, emotionally consumed, you are not alone and thank you for being fully yourself 🙏 ...and likewise, I've traveled to the 4 corners of the world, have a double nationalty, lived and worked in 6 countries, fluent in 5 languages...all this geographic restlessness without even being financially free, just stalking life, opening up, searching, looking inside and asking those impossible questions and their dangerous answers... ...finding out that those who were supposed to protected you not only failed to do so, but let you down along the way.... Good night from a cold France (in more ways than one!)
Very impressive to travel like this. I too travel but it brings up SO a much of that childhood insecurity and l seem to fail miserably at looking after myself, old wounds prevail .
Daniel, I'm interested on your take on when, of ever, individual/societal violence is necessary vs. perpetrating a cycle of abuse. I don't think ethical decisions are so clear cut as some like to make them out when you look at world history.
I felt compelled to start journaling recently. I just felt I needed it. I asked for a nice, leather-bound journal for Christmas, and started in January. It's helping me find that freedom and clarity that I forgot I needed.
I get the loneliness long time ago from your childhood and experience. Especially when there was no Internet and everything 20 years ago. It was super lonely when you will feel smthing is really wrong yet you find nobody to be beside u. It's like all words and opinions are bottled up, because they were meant to be told, yet telling doesn't work anymore because the feedback was hurtful. Yet we still have to save ourselves. Because there were no choice and we're so awake living in this world. You're really telling the truth, we were our own ally. I'm proud of u!X) I am proud of me too!.
I don’t even think you can prepare. Looking within caused the absolute dissolution and upheaval of almost every relationship and certainly every meaningful relationship in my life. As well as the dissolution of who you thought you were. There’s no preparing for any of that
People who are ready will find channels such as yours, Daniel. I agree that the masses arent quite yet ready to really hear your message but I believe and hope someday soon humanity will. The 21st century is for sure about looking inward, about introspection and healing our traumas we have experienced in our families, our cultures, our collective past, ect.
When you meet someone in life, an encounter with a single individual who talks to you in the spirit of openness without hiding judgement behind their eyes, it is a wonderful gift. We look for these encounters, though they are few and far in between. We are lost and broken together, but we look out if only for a moment at each other and experience a sense of joy. I like the phrase, "I try to be an ally," Daniel. For those that can forgive themselves, and it may be a lifetime of work, we strive to stand in openness.
Daniel, the resonance is just so exhilarating! We don't receive that mirroring from others andthat is what we as humans crave. To rise above or dig below that need and resist the temptation to conform to at least get some mirroring even if false is a TRULY courageous act . Thanks for being a mirror for myself and likely most of your viewers. INdeed that probably is why we feel compelled to continue to tune in. I feel inspired by your tenacity.
THANK YOU FOR SAYING THIS. Everyone wants to talk to each other about respect or whatever but secretly every single person absolutely hates it when they get trauma dumped on. especially the people that you love. Never say things because you will always regret it.
Very grateful to you Daniel. I continued along in my life in the absence of like minded souls doing this looking and notice that l become slowly over time more like them, suppressing and rigid and restricting my true expression for fear of ridicule. These videos are invaluable
Please 🙏 do not stop sharing!!!! Your video popped up this morning and I AM one that is looking within 😮have NOW for a solid 8 years since 5-10-2015 when I stopped drinking alcohol!!!!! Coming up on 9 years sobriety on 5-10-2024 ❤I appreciate to have found your video. New Subscriber 😊
I've never seen a video like this or spoken to anyone else who thinks this way. The conflict within started for me in my later teens. I didn't understand at the time the conflict i was experiencing was between being honest and basically doing what was expected, those two things did not align. It's been some difficult years as you've stated and now at 61 years old that process seems to be just getting started. Those "close" to me have switched from passive aggressive to outright aggression trying to get me in line. I've chosen to live far away from people in a tiny community. Funny thing is i have "strangers" who love and respect me so it's better this way. Thanks for making this video, it's my first time seeing you. It was nice looking in the mirror and seeing someone other than myself. I subscribed to your channel but other than this comment I'll keep it to myself.
When I was 6yo ,already I felt no real kinship with anyone in my family. I had two brothers,both parents and my aunt. They all felt like strangers to me and I was in the way, a nuisance. After finding out about unwed mothers giving up babies for adoption I was amazed because this meant that not all babies were planned or even wanted. This was a revelation to me and my family started to make sense. So I asked my mom if I was born by mistake. The ensuing firestorm told me I was not wrong. I guessed it was possible to not be a welcome addition to a family.
Thanks for what you do Daniel, much appreciated ❤❤ I can still remember finding your blog many years ago and being astounded at the candid insight of your posts. Also having a strong feeling I had found something somehow illicit or verboten. You are breaking the code of silence our narcissistic overlords demand. I have lived most of my life alone because I spoke against my parents and siblings and the rejection I felt near completely hobbled my ability to connect with other people. Nevermind that the people pleaser training my narcissistic family gave me meant that I attracted more narcissistically abusive people into my life as I got older which further alienated me from people 😂😂. I am getting better though, sucks that it’s only happening in my late 40’s but I’m still very grateful that I will have a chance to have normal loving supportive relationships with other human beings 🙌🤛
Truth was your first ally and their first enemy....it can take years to understand that but when it is understood it helps....there will always be bittersweet resignations in life. 🙏🏾
thank you for sharing this, i really needed to hear this. coming from family with rough past, I am the only one undergoing therapy and healing, daring to look within. and their reaction varies from saying I'm immature and weak to making me feel shame for not pushing it down. it was really hard at first but gradually i was able to stand behind my decision and now I realise, it is exactly the opposite. it is very mature to try to heal and it takes enormous courage. and when they attack me now, i treat them like a kind parent would treat a child having a tantrum. not to be patronizing, simply because going through the past I was able to detect how they got molded into this and I have understanding for them. but it is unbelievably exhausting.
Daniel, Thank You. You have succeeded in your intention. You remind me I am not alone, that I am not wrong, that I’m not mad. And I know, you know, how exquisitely valuable that is. I came on here seeking your channel today feeling the isolation and pain of the journey and your message has brought relief. Your allyship is so gratefully felt.
Thank you for making this video. What you are saying resonates. It’s not for everyone but it’s very important to those who are looking within. It is no easy, it is dark, and often there is no real support. So thank you for sharing your experience and offering alliance.
I've dared to look within since my pre teens after an altercation that changed the way i saw the world around me. I was maybe 12 at the time. Already, I was in for a hell of a ride: My mother was a very strict, yelling type that cared way to much about appearances. She stressed me out alot. My dad was a mostly positive influence, but he was also very stuck in his ways, glorifying a way of life that had long since past. Looking back at it now, I remember how harsh the world feels when you look inside and start asking the right questions. Funny enough, I wasn't wrong in asking them in hind sight. These people, amongst many others, were incredibly toxic. Silently watching for many years taught me many things. Sometimes Is surprise myself just how much i know about people, how they feel, how they act or even what their going to do. It definitely not a fun ride, but it be one I'd do again, just so that I can have the experience and the knowledge to tackle what was ahead. I'm 31 now, going on 32 this year. I have alot to figure out, but if theres something I don't have to find.. It's myself. Looking within gave me purpose. It gave me a set of Values that I hold dear. I wished that more people would stop and think about things more. Or maybe that's why life's events made me the way I am. Who knows. ( Love your videos. They always pop up when I need them most. Thank you. Didn't think I was going to ramble, but I'll keep it here regardless.)
Thanks for being an ally. Because of your sharing on this platform I was able to write a letter to my dad and finally BE HEARD. And to send the guilt back to its rightful owners. Setting firm boundaries. If you want to project guilt onto me I will never speak to you again. Simple.
Good morning Daniel, and thank you for this video. It has been a lonely journey, looking within. But it has been worth it, staying on the path without the distractions of people who doubt me or don't show support ❤. 10Feb24
Daniel, you are as far away from crazy, wrong, bad, and/or unethical as it gets. What you are doing is not only right but also most important. To me, honesty (truth) is all. To manipulators and parasites, truth is the beginning of the end and that is why it can not be spoken. Those who claim/should "love us the most" (parents, children, partners) are in the best position to hurt us the most (and sometimes do). It took me decades to understand what they have done and who they therefore really are. You breaking your family's secrets helped me figure it out. Thank you for being one of my allies so I do not feel alone while going through hell and torture as you did. Plenty of alone, hell, and torture remains even with allies but it may have been impossible to understand the world without them. I have learned so much from you and you have helped me more than I can explain. Thank you. Do not ever feel alone - I am grateful for you and for what you do every day.
I've cried so hard watching this, I didn't know whether or not I could make it through the whole video in one sitting. Thank you so much for your hard work and your vulnerability. Your viewers know how hard it is to put yourself out there when one was raised by people who have no issue attacking the weaker link and we appreciate it and you! so much :)
Dare to look in .... I have been looking within for a while. Since having a child, my mind can't stop thinking of how I was raised. It's painful, but I've never had so much compassion for myself. I'm finally understanding what I went through and why. I think intregrating our wounded child into our adult body and soul is very important. I now live in the present moment and awakened from my narc conditioning. I never rec'd positive feedback, no positive mirroring, etc. Feels so good just to be me.
AMEN... Thank you..I heard you and I needed this video and your other ones-I am part of your 5% and the 95% who needed it. Light, Love, Peace in Christ, Daniel.
Daniel thank you so much for putting your thoughts and ideas out there. As a young woman in this world that has looked, and was in some ways forced to look at the truth of my family system and self, seeing someone else, on the other side of the world sharing my thoughts and opinions has truly solidified my confidence that im doing the right thing by looking within.
Looking within requires you have a sense of the spirit within you, a desire to connect with it and nurture it, and to nurture the connection. This by itself goes against what my family cult stands for and believes is okay, especially for me. Maybe it would be okay for certain others to do that, but not me. You see, my family is like Orwell's Animal Farm: "All the animals on the farm are equal, but some are more equal than others." They believe I should read their minds and tailor my speech to their needs and wishes. I was literally told this. So, I had to accept this is where things are. I finally understood the assignment, and I walked away.
Most grateful Daniel, for your therapeutic words of wisdom. As you continue to heal and share, we the audience are your recipients who relate and are nurtured and supported on our journey of healing from past psychological disturbances. Thank you 💙
I looked within because it’s was less of a hell than continually trauma bonding with people. That’s sheer hell on earth. Silence and solitude any day now please. I can now function so much better in the world now and it’s easier to spot who I need to stay away from 🙅🏻♀️
@@GLOWORMFORLIFE I know and I understand. As empaths, it's natural for us to feel distracted and like we always want to help everyone. Make sure you get enough sleep, avoid too much processed or sugary foods/drinks. Any time you feel distracted, think of something that brings you comfort, or even a past memory that made you laugh or smile. Use it to center yourself again. Music can also help you to relax. As well as scented candles and prayer. I hope this brings you some relief.
Thank you very much for sharing your wisdom / experience once again. I'm so happy I found this channel, your work is outstandingly good. Wish you all the best!!!!!! Greetings from Germany
Your videos ARE an ally to me, Daniel. After decades of therapy and circling around and around and getting worse all the while, I've finally begun the process of truly looking within to see, accept, and learn from the nightmares and angels I carry. I've been watching a lot of your videos for inspiration to carry on and to speak more openly about it all, and when I came across this video I felt compelled to share a poem with you I wrote a few days ago that resonates with what you say in this particular video: Little Peter writes in bed All the dread things in his head And if his Pa should steal his book He'd open it up and take a look And it would scare him to his core So he'd slam it shut and see no more And when Peter wakes for morning school His Papa's prancing like a fool Thank you for your support in my journey to self-actualize all the dark and the light into a creative self.
I’ve never felt such a sensation like defending my sense of self. It was so different then anything else in my 20 years of life! When that self identity vanished , I am now able to see the contrast in sensation. Knowing you are someone and something vs not being anything is so different
There is nothing you can do to prepare yourself to the discomfort and change that comes from looking within. It is a purging process. To let go of what was once your conceptual sense of self and allow the new to arise. It is the false sense of self that is created within us that causes all if not most of humanity’s sufferings amongst themselves and one another
ever since i forced myself to be honest with myself and others, it showed me who truly cared about me. and not many people at that. i have a huge endless family so the ratio is insane. i knew i always felt alone despite being surrounded by shallow people. i have extreme social anxiety and always isolated myself and i was made to feel broken for not never talking to people. on top of that i was sheltered so it enabled my need to isolate even worse. considering my dark family history, i always pushed people away for a good reason, even i wasnt consciously aware of why at the time. including my overprotective narcissist mother. miraculously enough, at least in the short term on those rare times where i attempted to help myself wihout being reckless due to neglect. i learned at an early age to keep my circles small and im okay with that.
Discovered you today, and I’m loving it. Video three! I am on my healing journey. I’ve been sober from alcohol for 1.7 years now and I now recognize how much I need to heal and work on.
“The illiterate of the twenty-first century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.” Alvin Toffler
Nice one
Heavy.
love this, so true
🎯
Wonderful comment
If I hadn't looked within myself and kept trying to heal I would be in a very dark place now. Thankfully I kept looking for answers. Thanks Daniel for reminding us all that we are all brave and courageous souls who follow this path.
❤❤❤
Same ❤️
Couldn't agree more
How did you manage to look into yourself
Would you mind explaining what exactly you did and how you achieved this? Please.
Not looking within is dangerious. What we dont know about ourself does very much hurt us. Jung..."Those that look out dream, those that look within awaken" lt has saved my life.
I have started to understand why poeple don't look within. It is hell like you said. ONe of the best things i have done! It is painful and I love every moment of it. I know in the long run it is for the best
Wish I could like your message more than once
@@robot15551 Once Is great! I Keep somewhat avoiding one part I know Is going to be a lot. I have been taking it bit by bit
Thank you God for this caring soul. This is a blessing of a revelation. Sometimes we let the enemies win and discourage us. We shall speak our stories in healing
Being born in a toxic family means that you are taught to ignore their sickness and protect their pathologic lies. Telling the truth and revealing your pain to outsiders are considered a form of betrayal and as such , like in criminal gangs, the traitor must be rejected and punished in the most cruel way. That's the cause of our lifelong conflict: to tell the truth and be faithful to ourselves or to lose the love of the people who are an intrinsic, essential part of us, the people we desperately loved and needed most. I think regardless of which decision we take, the pain is immense, perhaps it will continue to stay within us forever. We live in a world where there is so much hypocrisy, family is still seen as a perfect institution and saying anything "bad", even if it is true, is considered a taboo by many. And one is then treated like a black sheep.
@Sil26439 We loved those people and needed them most but did not lose their love by telling the truth because they never loved us. The pain of truth telling is immense and probably forever but the pain of continuing to be surrounded by toxic people is worse and lasts longer.
I was repeatedly lied to and betrayed by my ex and he always treated me like I was betraying him if I talked to anyone about
The truths set me free by speaking what family members said and done. The demonic kingdom hates being exposed. My mind is at peace releasing deceptions of others.
"If the world were healthier, it wouldn't be dangerous to look within" THANK YOU FOR SAYING THIS!!! ❤ YES!!! 100%!!!
I believe if the world was truly healthy, the concept of «within» wouldn’t even be that necessary.
@@MT-om3uz Yes. It would be just to look, something to be done all the time, like a constant pattern, mentality or way of being/living.
@@BL-sd2qw What is referred to as «within», actually just means the truth. - looking at what we are. We are meant to just be that. Everything that’s left, when we take away this «within», is just our manifestations of our «need» to suppress it.
@@MT-om3uz YES! It's just people being repressed instead of seeing what they need (being honest).
Something strange is happening for me - I'm owning my childhood abuse, finally at 51 stepping into my power that was taken from me and finally asking for the boundaries and respect I need and deserve. I'm finally being able to feel loved (and love others!) in a *true* way....but I had to (and still have to do) the really scary work of rejecting the old family style I was taught. It's terrible and uncomfortable, but for the first time I really feel like me. It's a very strange kind of magic. Thank you Daniel for your bravery. Your words are healing many.
It is indeed a magical journey to the self…
Keep going ❤
Not following and doing negative religious and social media actions of family members separated me and my siblings. Plus not being and chasing material things allowed me to be free of material enslavement.
I cannot THANK YOU enough for being an ally like no other ❤❤❤
I'm a grown man and only a yesterday did I fully realize that my biggest bully in life has always been my own father. So crazy. Time for me to take care of me!
Similar. The worst part of being bullied at school was that I wouldn't be free of it going home. Others have shared their experiences as I've shared mine. It is horrible and freeing to look another man in the eye and see the tumult of emotions when they realize they have felt that depth of rage towards their father. We are not alone, even if our childhoods taught us otherwise. I found Complex PTSD by Pete Walker to be a great resource. May you go in peace, strength, and kindness, my brother in pain.
Me to and I have also been that bully it sucks
What does one do when one realizes that the biggest bully of their life has been themself?
@@NobodyNowhere888change
@@NobodyNowhere888Then change yourselves. That's a chance to wake up and change how you think 🎉
For years I’ve been on this path.
Every so often I really start to FEEL what’s inside and it’s always so much harder than I thought
Yes yes yes. I’d recommend you watch the therapy session with Carl Rogers - I believe it’s something titled “Carl Roger’s counsels individual on hurt and anger” There are amazing insights.
I’m literally choking back tears… the things you are saying are exactly how I feel and I have never met someone who relates like this. I did not know that I needed to hear this from someone else.
Isn't it beautiful.
You're the best therapist - that I don't need anymore!
The revelatory moment really was the realization that I don't need permission to genuinely love myself. Doesn't matter what was done, or wasn't done to me as a child. Love myself as is, unconditionally.
Self-awareness simultaneously comes with other-awareness too, particularly how others treat you. With new awareness comes new boundaries and thus, the conflict begins…
Thank you so much Daniel. This is the video I needed. I’ve always been different from my toxic family because I don’t tolerate lies and hypocrisy and I can’t pretend I wasn’t abused by my parents and my brother. The hardest thing is that I can hardly talk about it with anyone, because even my friends don’t want to hear about bad and abusive parents. I keep looking inside because honesty towards myself is stronger and more important than acceptance from others. I recently bought your book "Breaking from your parents" and it is such a useful and important resource. I no longer feel so alone.
It seems like a voice from a dream when someone you never met describes how you feel better than yourself. How is this possible? This lonely inner journey is exhausting. Tiredness is sometimes worse than the pain... When you have seen, you cannot un-see, but sometimes you feel that you cannot continue. There was a lot of crying watching this.
Its a lonely rough road. That tiredness is so hard to push through. You do all these things and you think "once I get to this plateau I'll be able to fix myself, and then there's another.
I hope that once I get to a place where I can start grieving that I can resolve enough traumas to at least get the consolation prize of having parts of my own joy/boundaries/spontaneity back. I hope everyone here can do that and our lives won't just be curled up in a ball in the corner of an apartment having nightmares and being anxious for the next 30 years.
Lots of tears for me too! It feels almost endless at times
I’ve been crying all day trying to literally not kill myself it’s that bad today has been sense this morning. Sorry you’re going thru it. Stick with the truth tellers and helpers ❤ I’m not gonna change for anyone else anymore
@@mariahconklin4150 I hope you're feeling better today and getting a break from the dark feelings. I can relate. I need you on Earth so pls stay. Sending love
@@mariahconklin4150 "You Won't Change Me" -1976 Black Sabbath (Ozzy Osbourne sang the song, but bassist Geezer Butler wrote those lyrics as he did with all their lyrics)
I don't know if Black Sabbath is your type of music. Nevertheless it's the same attitude you or I have.
If anything, sometimes I can occasionally be too accommodating! Yet I slap myself in the face when I find this happening and I stop it ASAP. Keep staying strong!
I can completely and wholeheartedly resonate with every single word you speak, and I absolutely LOVE Your Authenticity!! Peace, Love, And Light from My Heart To Yours!! 💖
Daniel: I needed an ally especially during the last year. I set aside all external distractions last April so I would be available to myself without distraction. Over 7 decades of unshed tears, unspoken heartache and locked down anger were what I was hoping to release. In that journey I've learned invaluable insights that I previously never came close to accessing despite decades and tens of thousands of $$ of personal work. A huge realization recently was that I am not the personality that I have honed since birth. I realize I had created that personality in my attempt to provide a substitute for non-negotionable human needs which weren't being met. Who I thought was me was only part me, the rest being adaptations I cobbled together to survive. It would be dishonest to say that isn't sobering and scary but onward and upward from here, the journey continues.
Coming to terms with the fact that the you you thought you were was not ever the real you, but a false self you created as a response to traumatic experiences and external factors that were likely beyond your control (certainly in childhood) is a truly terrifying thing and I think to varying degrees it happens to every human in the world. It certainly has been for me. But all of the terror is nothing compared to the gratitude and hope for the future when I get glimpses of the real me. My god it’s painful. So bloody painful, but so worth every single minute of heartache to get to the true you!
I understand.
@@rubberbiscuit99 Innerstand.😉
perfectly said... so worth it..we must all grow and move forward..that is where hope lies.@@legendgamer676
How did you do it?
Daniel thank you for being an ally. I can always feel better knowing at least one other person out there thinks and feels the same as I do. Thanks for making this video even though you’re super tired, it is very relatable!!!
More than one other person out there thinks and feels like you 🫶🙋🏻♀️
@@giolan5412yes! We are lucky to have this’community’ though l dislike that term, sounds too much like family and associated awfulness
My inner child is so scared and needs lots of reassurance. It's hard work to process our pain and doing it bit by bit so he doesn't get overwhelmed and go back down, which he does anyway just to get restbite. Hoping he can stay with me more and more as i heal him
Take care
When I started working as a therapist 5 or 6 years ago, your channel used to make me feel so guilty for participating in the field.
Now I spend a lot of time at home after a best friend passed away. I visited other therapists and realize that your videos are not about therapy exclusively, but how unhealthy our society truly is. I was mocked by some for being a "radical" and shrug off by both therapists and psychiatrists for thinking too much about "normal things in society" according to them.
When I brought these issues up while I was working at the time, people in the field either become defensive or label me as a radical.
Now I looked back at your videos and see that I don't need to feel guilty that much since I already did all I could for clients.
I was depressed after I quit and old clients called me to invite me to run workshops for them. I cried and thank them to reaffirm me that I didn't hurt them through the process.
I have this excessive guilt eating me inside when I was a therapist. I would be afraid to hurt clients the same way the mental health field has hurt them in the past.
Those phonecalls from old clients made me realize that they truly appreciate me as a person, not as a therapist.
I'm now diagnosed with multiple neurological conditions (probably was there at birth), and need to rethink a lot about life.
I tried both religions and different forms of therapy and they didn't work for me.
Then I rewatched your channel based on suggestions from people on Reddit, and boy, I feel so validated by you.
Thank you for sharing this. I appreciate it. Daniel
Its not the technique that matters ... its the character of the therapist. Most therapists i saw started to project onto me after a while....i cant do the work in the presence of someone that is judgmental and can't understand what i'm telling them. Personally i think you need to believe in yourself...the guilt merely sounds like a schema....as a hypnotherapist I'd go straight for that feeling. If you are more mainstream in your beliefs then Jeffrey Young's Schema Therapy should clear this. Brief and effective therapy is possible but it helps as a therapist to know your own character intimately ... try the YSQ L3 (it's free) to see if the guilt is merely a predisposition caused by a schema. Dont assume it's a true reflection of reality (your badness) ...because you sound very different to the vast majority of therapists who are incapable of helping people along the path.
I used psychedelics to find who i am, took multiple years and dozens of trips, but i finally figured it out. Everything made sense. My childhood, my impulses, my tendencies, my doubts and fears, my anger. I found myself in this existence we call life. If you are curious, then do what i did and dive into the void. But I have to warn you, you will experience both sides. Eventually, you will have to face your "demons". I'd recommend starting small and with a trusted friend. Its not a race, so be kind to yourself and take it easy. Build up to the bigger trips.
Good luck.
Also during the trip listen to the Butthole Surfers album Psychic, Powerless, Another Man's Sack, Gingerbread Man by The Residents, any album by Caroliner Rainbow, Trout Mask Replica by Captain Beefheart, and Free Jazz by Ornette Coleman. Anybody who takes this advice can thank me later.
Almost forgot Pop Tatari by The Boredoms. Definitely use headphones for that one.
They branded me as "crazy" you have to find comfort within yourself
@willymwambaru-ez9ic Same here and agree re finding comfort within yourself. Branding us crazy is a manipulation technique that not only discredits us but also shifts blame onto us. As Javier Milei says, "Long live freedom, damn it!" - in our case, from their lies!
uli do nini bruh😂😂
I decided to look within and what I found was somewhat surprising. I found those big life changing moments that usually included an element of suffering had a purpose. For me the most profound moment in my life was when I had heart break in my early 20's. I was shown internally the reason that heart break was so gut wrenching was because I experienced myself as pure love and then the loss of that person leaving (me leaving myself again). Here the whole time I was focused on the female but was shown she was only a vehicle used to open a window so I could actually experience myself in physical form. We agree to forget ourself in order to experience ourself and then to remember ourself.
Growing up I was always called an awful, vicious, evil and mentally ill person who doesn't ''let bygones be bygones''' every time I would bring up any incident from my horrific childhood, who had my narcissistic mother as a perpetrator. People said that I should go see a psychiatrist because something is wrong with me. I chose one to go to at 22 and he said that he cannot diagnose people he hasn't met, but my mother ticks every box for malignant narcissism and he suggested total no contact and gray rocking. It's much easier to harass the victim into silence, rather than acknowledge that the abuser is at fault and face their wrath and the people who do that are self centered cowards. Of course they will use every weapon they can find to prevent you from looking back and looking within.
Wow, so powerful, harass the victim into silence ! Thanks for sharing
Yeah, I assert few simple boundaries in my life towards family, and they act out instantly. It took them few moments to readjust, but it also made me realize, they don't see the real me, they see what they want. I no longer fit into their box, nor ever did, but the way to deal with that is too keep as far as away as possible, or not invest into those relations. They are dead ends.
@@ThunderSenAmen. Dead ends. I tried to negotiate and make bargains around this, to justify keeping my father in my life. The cost is too high.
I have been shaking my head “yes” this entire video. Thank you for confirming so much of what I have suspected was true. We are no where near the level of emotional maturity required to accept, let alone embrace what it takes to go to the bottom on purpose in order to reach our potential of living our best life. People in the spotlight who share with the world that they are doing serious work get laughed at or spoken of negatively. I guess the idea is to normalize first, our unaddressed early childhood trauma and the reality that everyone would do better to do the hard work. Maybe someday but not today.
Great video, you are very courageous as a man. Vulnerability is not easy for a man. What I see as a problem in all of us is this goes back many generations. Everything was swept under the carpet. Learning to work and make a life and have children were all you needed. I didn't have children because I didn't want them living in a world of dysfunctional delusion and struggles. I'm 70 and find it unreal to how children were treated even after everyone came out about our parents. Thank you for your outspoken video.
Some days I don’t want to look within. Sometimes I wonder how it’s like to be unconscious of everything. How do people live without being awake to their deepest truths and the effects of their childhood on them. But I remember how I felt when I couldn’t see myself or wasn’t allowed to be awake because it means betrayal of my family and being alone in the world… I was miserable, angry and confused. And perhaps that’s how most of the world lives. They may be unconscious and loyal to their ancestors pain, but they would never be able to see the light in them and in the world… Daniel, I’m 30 years younger than you but, maybe we were born to look within, we were just chosen to live this life. And I’m happy to have you as an ally!
Many people look afraid to look within
Understandably so if they've observed others going through it. Not an easy path. When someone is playing life on beginner mode, seeing hard mode looks crazy.
Exactly! I’ve been a therapist for 20-years and you are the first person I’ve found who’s been in the field who’s had the courage to make these discoveries. Anyone who gets there has had to walk the loneliness, most terrifying path anyone could ever walk, and likely, had to overcome not only the screwed up messaging in their family and the larger community, but probably had been misled by a handful of therapists too. It’s truly amazing that any of us make it through that gauntlet, and it explains why there are so few of us.
Thank you for being courageous enough to put this out there… I’m still working up the courage to start a similar channel myself!
I am very tired too Daniel, emotionally consumed, you are not alone and thank you for being fully yourself 🙏 ...and likewise, I've traveled to the 4 corners of the world, have a double nationalty, lived and worked in 6 countries, fluent in 5 languages...all this geographic restlessness without even being financially free, just stalking life, opening up, searching, looking inside and asking those impossible questions and their dangerous answers...
...finding out that those who were supposed to protected you not only failed to do so, but let you down along the way....
Good night from a cold France (in more ways than one!)
Very impressive to travel like this. I too travel but it brings up SO a much of that childhood insecurity and l seem to fail miserably at looking after myself, old wounds prevail .
There's a lot of helpful wisdom in your talks
And how grateful i am to have this ally i cannot express enough❤
Daniel, I'm interested on your take on when, of ever, individual/societal violence is necessary vs. perpetrating a cycle of abuse. I don't think ethical decisions are so clear cut as some like to make them out when you look at world history.
I felt compelled to start journaling recently. I just felt I needed it. I asked for a nice, leather-bound journal for Christmas, and started in January. It's helping me find that freedom and clarity that I forgot I needed.
What technique do you use?
Daniel, I understand you and feel you deeply. Really, really, deeply... Breaking the illusion in an insane world causes agony. Tremendous pain.
I get the loneliness long time ago from your childhood and experience. Especially when there was no Internet and everything 20 years ago. It was super lonely when you will feel smthing is really wrong yet you find nobody to be beside u. It's like all words and opinions are bottled up, because they were meant to be told, yet telling doesn't work anymore because the feedback was hurtful. Yet we still have to save ourselves. Because there were no choice and we're so awake living in this world. You're really telling the truth, we were our own ally. I'm proud of u!X) I am proud of me too!.
Thank you Daniel for being an ally. I really appreciate what you're doing. Thank you. Thank you!
I don’t even think you can prepare. Looking within caused the absolute dissolution and upheaval of almost every relationship and certainly every meaningful relationship in my life. As well as the dissolution of who you thought you were. There’s no preparing for any of that
I wish there was a warning on the label.
😂😂😂@@pod9363
People who are ready will find channels such as yours, Daniel. I agree that the masses arent quite yet ready to really hear your message but I believe and hope someday soon humanity will. The 21st century is for sure about looking inward, about introspection and healing our traumas we have experienced in our families, our cultures, our collective past, ect.
When you meet someone in life, an encounter with a single individual who talks to you in the spirit of openness without hiding judgement behind their eyes, it is a wonderful gift.
We look for these encounters, though they are few and far in between.
We are lost and broken together, but we look out if only for a moment at each other and experience a sense of joy.
I like the phrase, "I try to be an ally," Daniel. For those that can forgive themselves, and it may be a lifetime of work, we strive to stand in openness.
I needed to see this-the unpolished unscripted truth. You had a self to defend, what a concept to stumble upon!
Daniel, the resonance is just so exhilarating! We don't receive that mirroring from others andthat is what we as humans crave. To rise above or dig below that need and resist the temptation to conform to at least get some mirroring even if false is a TRULY courageous act . Thanks for being a mirror for myself and likely most of your viewers. INdeed that probably is why we feel compelled to continue to tune in. I feel inspired by your tenacity.
The Egyptian Book of the Dead was actually called The Scroll of Coming Forth By Day.
One that dares die willingly will not die eternally.
I really needed to hear this tonight. SO much rejection from family and others, not willing to be open to exploring themselves.
Beautiful Daniel! Big hug to you and you’re not alone! ❤️
You're not alone ❤, me neither! Thank you for your insights
Be very careful who you open up to. The closer they are to you, the MORE careful you have to be, not less.
THANK YOU FOR SAYING THIS. Everyone wants to talk to each other about respect or whatever but secretly every single person absolutely hates it when they get trauma dumped on. especially the people that you love. Never say things because you will always regret it.
What do you exactly mean?
I learned this hard way
Yes. Really good advice.
This is true, they'll use what they know about you against you.
You are absolutely not alone, and I am so grateful to find out neither am I! 🙏🏻🥰
Well, thank you for your messages. Your real family receives them loud and clear.
Very grateful to you Daniel. I continued along in my life in the absence of like minded souls doing this looking and notice that l become slowly over time more like them, suppressing and rigid and restricting my true expression for fear of ridicule. These videos are invaluable
Please 🙏 do not stop sharing!!!!
Your video popped up this morning and I AM one that is looking within 😮have NOW for a solid 8 years since 5-10-2015 when I stopped drinking alcohol!!!!! Coming up on 9 years sobriety on 5-10-2024 ❤I appreciate to have found your video. New Subscriber 😊
I've never seen a video like this or spoken to anyone else who thinks this way.
The conflict within started for me in my later teens. I didn't understand at the time the conflict i was experiencing was between being honest and basically doing what was expected, those two things did not align.
It's been some difficult years as you've stated and now at 61 years old that process seems to be just getting started. Those "close" to me have switched from passive aggressive to outright aggression trying to get me in line.
I've chosen to live far away from people in a tiny community.
Funny thing is i have "strangers" who love and respect me so it's better this way.
Thanks for making this video, it's my first time seeing you. It was nice looking in the mirror and seeing someone other than myself.
I subscribed to your channel but other than this comment I'll keep it to myself.
When I was 6yo ,already I felt no real kinship with anyone in my family. I had two brothers,both parents and my aunt. They all felt like strangers to me and I was in the way, a nuisance.
After finding out about unwed mothers giving up babies for adoption I was amazed because this meant that not all babies were planned or even wanted. This was a revelation to me and my family started to make sense. So I asked my mom if I was born by mistake.
The ensuing firestorm told me I was not wrong. I guessed it was possible to not be a welcome addition to a family.
Thanks for what you do Daniel, much appreciated ❤❤
I can still remember finding your blog many years ago and being astounded at the candid insight of your posts. Also having a strong feeling I had found something somehow illicit or verboten. You are breaking the code of silence our narcissistic overlords demand. I have lived most of my life alone because I spoke against my parents and siblings and the rejection I felt near completely hobbled my ability to connect with other people. Nevermind that the people pleaser training my narcissistic family gave me meant that I attracted more narcissistically abusive people into my life as I got older which further alienated me from people 😂😂. I am getting better though, sucks that it’s only happening in my late 40’s but I’m still very grateful that I will have a chance to have normal loving supportive relationships with other human beings 🙌🤛
Truth was your first ally and their first enemy....it can take years to understand that but when it is understood it helps....there will always be bittersweet resignations in life. 🙏🏾
thank you for sharing this, i really needed to hear this. coming from family with rough past, I am the only one undergoing therapy and healing, daring to look within. and their reaction varies from saying I'm immature and weak to making me feel shame for not pushing it down. it was really hard at first but gradually i was able to stand behind my decision and now I realise, it is exactly the opposite. it is very mature to try to heal and it takes enormous courage. and when they attack me now, i treat them like a kind parent would treat a child having a tantrum. not to be patronizing, simply because going through the past I was able to detect how they got molded into this and I have understanding for them. but it is unbelievably exhausting.
This work....is not for the faint hearted. It is deep Spirtual work home to my autentic repressed self. Wholeness.
Daniel, Thank You. You have succeeded in your intention. You remind me I am not alone, that I am not wrong, that I’m not mad. And I know, you know, how exquisitely valuable that is. I came on here seeking your channel today feeling the isolation and pain of the journey and your message has brought relief. Your allyship is so gratefully felt.
I was in a similar head and heart funk today, on the brink of internal chaos take care, jo
Thank you for making this video. What you are saying resonates. It’s not for everyone but it’s very important to those who are looking within. It is no easy, it is dark, and often there is no real support. So thank you for sharing your experience and offering alliance.
Preach it dude 🙌
Ride on
I've dared to look within since my pre teens after an altercation that changed the way i saw the world around me. I was maybe 12 at the time.
Already, I was in for a hell of a ride: My mother was a very strict, yelling type that cared way to much about appearances. She stressed me out alot.
My dad was a mostly positive influence, but he was also very stuck in his ways, glorifying a way of life that had long since past.
Looking back at it now, I remember how harsh the world feels when you look inside and start asking the right questions. Funny enough, I wasn't wrong in asking them in hind sight.
These people, amongst many others, were incredibly toxic. Silently watching for many years taught me many things. Sometimes Is surprise myself just how much i know about people, how they feel, how they act or even what their going to do.
It definitely not a fun ride, but it be one I'd do again, just so that I can have the experience and the knowledge to tackle what was ahead.
I'm 31 now, going on 32 this year. I have alot to figure out, but if theres something I don't have to find.. It's myself. Looking within gave me purpose. It gave me a set of Values that I hold dear.
I wished that more people would stop and think about things more. Or maybe that's why life's events made me the way I am. Who knows.
( Love your videos. They always pop up when I need them most. Thank you. Didn't think I was going to ramble, but I'll keep it here regardless.)
Thanks for sharing 😀
You are awesome, people like you are so rare. Thank you for being real! :)
Thanks for being an ally. Because of your sharing on this platform I was able to write a letter to my dad and finally BE HEARD. And to send the guilt back to its rightful owners. Setting firm boundaries. If you want to project guilt onto me I will never speak to you again. Simple.
Iv been doing this for over 2 years. Its been a humblinh experience.
Socrates great quote - Know thyself.
Good morning Daniel, and thank you for this video. It has been a lonely journey, looking within. But it has been worth it, staying on the path without the distractions of people who doubt me or don't show support ❤.
10Feb24
Thank you Daniel. Love you for your honesty & authenticity.
Daniel, I sent you an email time ago (from Italy) and I’m on this journey and yes, you’re right, this is hell ❤
Thank you 😊
@@dmackler58 ❤️
Omg this is truth! Sometimes I felt like Im a terrible person
Daniel, you are as far away from crazy, wrong, bad, and/or unethical as it gets. What you are doing is not only right but also most important. To me, honesty (truth) is all. To manipulators and parasites, truth is the beginning of the end and that is why it can not be spoken. Those who claim/should "love us the most" (parents, children, partners) are in the best position to hurt us the most (and sometimes do). It took me decades to understand what they have done and who they therefore really are. You breaking your family's secrets helped me figure it out. Thank you for being one of my allies so I do not feel alone while going through hell and torture as you did. Plenty of alone, hell, and torture remains even with allies but it may have been impossible to understand the world without them. I have learned so much from you and you have helped me more than I can explain. Thank you. Do not ever feel alone - I am grateful for you and for what you do every day.
Thank you for sharing your perspective and in doing so helping us all. God bless you my friend ❤️🙏🏼
I've cried so hard watching this, I didn't know whether or not I could make it through the whole video in one sitting. Thank you so much for your hard work and your vulnerability. Your viewers know how hard it is to put yourself out there when one was raised by people who have no issue attacking the weaker link and we appreciate it and you! so much :)
Well said ; thank you ❤
Thanks man, I know what its like to look within and then be outcast for it. It was worth it tho.
Dare to look in .... I have been looking within for a while. Since having a child, my mind can't stop thinking of how I was raised. It's painful, but I've never had so much compassion for myself. I'm finally understanding what I went through and why. I think intregrating our wounded child into our adult body and soul is very important. I now live in the present moment and awakened from my narc conditioning. I never rec'd positive feedback, no positive mirroring, etc. Feels so good just to be me.
Yes Daniel, you are my ally, my companion. Thanks. Love from Amsterdam, Holland
I Appreciate You and Your Sacred Work.
Peace be with You, Radiant Brother.
AMEN... Thank you..I heard you and I needed this video and your other ones-I am part of your 5% and the 95% who needed it. Light, Love, Peace in Christ, Daniel.
Daniel thank you so much for putting your thoughts and ideas out there. As a young woman in this world that has looked, and was in some ways forced to look at the truth of my family system and self, seeing someone else, on the other side of the world sharing my thoughts and opinions has truly solidified my confidence that im doing the right thing by looking within.
Looking within requires you have a sense of the spirit within you, a desire to connect with it and nurture it, and to nurture the connection.
This by itself goes against what my family cult stands for and believes is okay, especially for me. Maybe it would be okay for certain others to do that, but not me. You see, my family is like Orwell's Animal Farm: "All the animals on the farm are equal, but some are more equal than others." They believe I should read their minds and tailor my speech to their needs and wishes. I was literally told this. So, I had to accept this is where things are. I finally understood the assignment, and I walked away.
Most grateful Daniel, for your therapeutic words of wisdom. As you continue to heal and share, we the audience are your recipients who relate and are nurtured and supported on our journey of healing from past psychological disturbances. Thank you 💙
Thank you, Mr Mackler.😊
imo breaking delusions is always good
Thanks 🙏🏻
I looked within because it’s was less of a hell than continually trauma bonding with people. That’s sheer hell on earth. Silence and solitude any day now please. I can now function so much better in the world now and it’s easier to spot who I need to stay away from 🙅🏻♀️
Self reflection is very important. The most important relationship we have in this life, other than with God, is with ourselves.
How though when my mind constantly keeps being diverted to outside its so frustrating 😢
@@GLOWORMFORLIFE I know and I understand. As empaths, it's natural for us to feel distracted and like we always want to help everyone. Make sure you get enough sleep, avoid too much processed or sugary foods/drinks. Any time you feel distracted, think of something that brings you comfort, or even a past memory that made you laugh or smile. Use it to center yourself again. Music can also help you to relax. As well as scented candles and prayer. I hope this brings you some relief.
Thank you very much for sharing your wisdom / experience once again.
I'm so happy I found this channel, your work is outstandingly good.
Wish you all the best!!!!!!
Greetings from Germany
Thanks, ally, I appreciate you ❤
Thank you sir
Thank YOU 🙏🏼 for existing Daniel ♥️
Your videos ARE an ally to me, Daniel. After decades of therapy and circling around and around and getting worse all the while, I've finally begun the process of truly looking within to see, accept, and learn from the nightmares and angels I carry. I've been watching a lot of your videos for inspiration to carry on and to speak more openly about it all, and when I came across this video I felt compelled to share a poem with you I wrote a few days ago that resonates with what you say in this particular video:
Little Peter writes in bed
All the dread things in his head
And if his Pa should steal his book
He'd open it up and take a look
And it would scare him to his core
So he'd slam it shut and see no more
And when Peter wakes for morning school
His Papa's prancing like a fool
Thank you for your support in my journey to self-actualize all the dark and the light into a creative self.
I’ve never felt such a sensation like defending my sense of self. It was so different then anything else in my 20 years of life! When that self identity vanished , I am now able to see the contrast in sensation. Knowing you are someone and something vs not being anything is so different
There is nothing you can do to prepare yourself to the discomfort and change that comes from looking within. It is a purging process. To let go of what was once your conceptual sense of self and allow the new to arise. It is the false sense of self that is created within us that causes all if not most of humanity’s sufferings amongst themselves and one another
This video is right on time
I love you daniel. Thank you for NOT being in denial.
ever since i forced myself to be honest with myself and others, it showed me who truly cared about me. and not many people at that. i have a huge endless family so the ratio is insane. i knew i always felt alone despite being surrounded by shallow people. i have extreme social anxiety and always isolated myself and i was made to feel broken for not never talking to people. on top of that i was sheltered so it enabled my need to isolate even worse. considering my dark family history, i always pushed people away for a good reason, even i wasnt consciously aware of why at the time. including my overprotective narcissist mother. miraculously enough, at least in the short term on those rare times where i attempted to help myself wihout being reckless due to neglect. i learned at an early age to keep my circles small and im okay with that.
This is a fantastic video. You are sharing a model, and you're a model by sharing!
Discovered you today, and I’m loving it. Video three!
I am on my healing journey. I’ve been sober from alcohol for 1.7 years now and I now recognize how much I need to heal and work on.
Deep in the valley. Truth is killing me.
Thanks denial .i can feel your pain 😭