Hey loves! If you're trying to figure our where to start so that it doesn't feel overwhelming, this video shares EXACTLY what I did: ua-cam.com/video/mFIqMyN6FHI/v-deo.htmlsi=EoiHxmFVe0JVnZer
As a guy i have a 6 months rule if i dont use a item or object in 6 months it goes if im not sure ill pack it in a cupboard for future removals but still usable when needed if i dont use that the next 6 months it goes to the bin. My problem is despite me not having anything or care to horde stuff the rest of the family will think hey i might use this one day and keeps everything. Even the clothes i have 7 identical pants and 7 similar tops it is less then a 1/4 of space hanging the rest is the wifes clotes and half of that she is too big for and keep saying it will fit if i lose weight... I did my part i can only bring a horse to water short from drowning it i cant make it drink.
To Kristi or any of her followers: If any of you know of a UA-camr that addresses the following, please let me know. I noticed almost all decluttering UA-camrs show how to get rid of stuff when it's attained through the same mindset: simply buying more than you get rid off. This video being a prime example. That's not the problem with members of my family. This is just my theory, but the mindset we're dealing with seems to come from (and been "handed down" from) the Great Depression Era. There's a sense of keeping anything that's not trash because it could be used for something else. Back in an era when most families did that because it wasn't a throw away economy and they also couldn't afford to just buy everything. One example being cleaning out and saving butter tubs because Tupperware was still expensive decades ago. Anyway, that mindset seems to have a rock solid hold, because the various households of my relatives can afford things just fine. I messaged a couple decluttering people, but with millions of followers, I've decided to start putting this comment on every UA-camr/Tiktoker, hoping one of them or a follower can direct me to the correct video/person. Thank you.
@@catapultedwizard4810 I can be an emotional/practical pack rat for sure. I'll spare the stories but it started when I realized I would be happier if I made a 1 item rule. I have 1 item and 1 photo of every loved one who has passed on. Then a couple years ago I oddly started keeping glass jars (?!) I told myself I can have 1 box of nice, clean jars in the garage and from time to time I do go out there and pull out one to use and then I replace it. I had to ask myself why would I need to hold on to more extras when I have never needed the whole box at once? Maybe that concept would help with the Tupperware issue? OR are they not using the "good" plastic ones because they don't want them to get stained and ugly? Are glass ones too heavy for arthritic hands? I mean, if you think about it cool whip containers are the perfect answer to both of those issues? NOW, could someone please tell me how to deal with the 40 LB MixMaster that gets used once a year to make the family's NY cheesecake recipe? A recipe that is neither good for my waistline nor my wallet but it's one of the last traditions I have kept - and memories DO tie us to happy times in the past. Not to mention there is such a feeling of accomplishment when I pull this creation out of the oven. Yup. In the pantry it stays. LOL.
@@catapultedwizard4810 I don't know a video about it, but I do know that everything comes with a mental load. The object has to justify not only the mental load but also any stress it might cause to your relationships. My husband's family has a belief that we can only have a finite number of relationships in our lifetime and relationships we have with objects are relationships we cannot have with people instead. Perhaps adopting this idea for a trial period might help? It worked well for me.
I started saving nice things "for the future" when I was about 25 years old. I'm now almost 70 and I haven't used that stuff! So I'm asking myself, how old do I think I have to be before it's ok to use the nice things?
I used to have that same issue. I wasted so much money and time shopping for things I never used. I now only buy things I plan on using in the present bc tomorrow isn’t promised.
My grandmother would buy nice things and put them away. She would buy sheets and towels and put them in a trunk never to be used. We always had the same sheets for months on our bed, of course, they were washed once a week, but she never used the new sheets or put out the good towels and face cloths. When she passed, all that stuff was so old that it almost disintegrated upon touching it. I found that I was doing the same thing until my husband pointed it out to me that I was buying nice dishes and towels and other things only not to be used. Now, I buy things for my house and myself and use it immediately. Life is short, what are you saving those things for? Someone to find after your departure only to either use it themselves or give it to the goodwill or someone else.
I’ve seen a few of these stories and it’s wild that we do that. It makes me sad to think we can go our whole lives never actually enjoying the moment bc we “save it for later”.
Really like the info this speaker is relaying. She doesn't ignore the psychological factor. Many decluttering speakers ive listened to don't address the psychological aspects beyond a tiny amount. It's important to include possible mental blocks we declutterer people often have. And then implement the ways we can effectively and sensitively work through them. I can think of several things right now, which Ive been unable to let go of until now. Successful reworking of outlook thanks to this speaker. I'm very grateful.
This mind set also comes from poverty, never having enough, or thought of it will keep you buying things just to say you can, and never use it 🙏🏾😢❤it was in my family too.
@@NoLaGurl18 My stockpiling really started during covid, being bored at home, shopping online and getting great deals. I thought everything would be a great gift at Christmas, but only gifted a small percentage, or had way more than needed. The bottom line for me is not to leave all this stuff for my kids to deal with, when they will already be dealing with so many other emotions; to not be a burden to my children. This mindset has really helped my perspective on so much stuff- keepsakes, family items and all.
COVID taught me to use my nice things, use my Christmas coffee cups year round, and wear my best clothes I save for special occasions without there being a special occasion. Life can be taken so quickly.
@@pruzzilla3771 Some people think it's weird to have nice things without an occasion or without "earning" them. You're right; surviving can be a feat that warrants celebrating. (Why else would we celebrate birthdays, anyway?)
My favorite question to ask is, "how would I feel if this spontaneously combusted?' If I wouldn't be sorry (or if I'd be secretly glad) then that item should probably go.
Similarly, when in doubt about a piece of clothing, I think: if I spotted a stain or a tiny hole in this, would I be relieved to have a reason to get rid of the object, or do I love it enough to keep wearing or try to repair it? On a gut level, you know what you really love.
I remember feeling relief when a dish smashed as I was sorting out the kitchen (getting ready to declutter). That made me realise how much I wanted to let stuff go and made it easier to get rid of things. I still need to make another pass over the contents of my kitchen cupboards, but I'm pleased with how much I've let go and donated to charity already.
I finally decluttered only to realize that my home was still a mess because I have too many friends who are hoarders and have gotten into the habit of storing their stuff at my place. Seriously, I have entire rooms I can't use, and people refuse to get their stuff for years while expecting me to store them for free. It's actually costing me a few hundred dollars a year to cope with not being able to use entire rooms of my house. This New Year's Day I let everyone storing their trash at my house have two months' notice that I'll be disposing of it. One person got mad at me for being petty since I have such a big house, so I explained that I wasn't going to start charging them a storage fee. Another told me to sell his stuff and give him the money, but I refused to take a volunteer position when my time is already spoken for...by me. I feel much better now, and although I'm sure I'm going to hear more about it I don't see that I have any legal obligation to care anymore when they can't be bothered to care either.
I have a similar situation. My garage and storage room are full of all of my grown children's stuff. I like the solution you've come up with and am going to present it to my kids (27-43 yrs old)
@@saundraandrade9019 It will make you unpopular for a little while, but it demonstrates the self-respect essential for respect for others. I can tell you from personal experience, though, that children sometimes don't realize how much we're imposing on our parents. My parents responded in kind by bringing a box of my baby clothes I didn't even know was stashed at their home and giving it to me as a birthday present. My husband was ticked, but it made me happy because I realized that they understood how ridiculous the situation is. I want to enjoy their company, not be a burden.
Yes to this. My mom’s friend left a couple of boxes of stuff at my mom’s house for a decade and I was like if she hasn’t needed it by now then she doesn’t need it and it got trashed when we moved my mom.
I firmly believe that while we help others, you also gotta do what works for you! Can't love others well if you aren't loving yourself- and getting your space functioning for you is a form of self-love.
I just turned 76, I decided to finally use all my finery I collected over 40 years from sets of 24k gold rim fine bone china from England to sterling silver picture frames, limited addition Lalique perfume bottles ( for my $30 perfumes from Target 😂, ) crystal vases for my handpicked flowers on my nature walk, 18 century silver handheld mirror to pluck my eyebrows, 1930 silver bridal flower basket for all my incoming mails & bills to be paid, antique Italian lace tablecloth etc. Those were some of my NICE THINGS passionate collectibles for years carefully wrapped in my cedar hope chest waiting for that someday, some special occasions, (in case the Pope or Queen Elizabeth 😂😂 happened to drop by my humble home for a visit) but today I finally decided that ‘my everyday’ is a special occasion, so I started to use them daily and it brought me so much JOY! One day I’ll sell them or gift them to people that deserve them. 🎉🎉 they’ll find other loving homes.
Lol I purchased a 24k hostess set for my mom and her two sisters- my mom always used hers during the holidays. Anyway my cousin was having a five year anniversary at her moms house and my mom asked my aunt (her sis) if she was going to use her hostess set and she said no 😢my aunt has since passed on, and nobody knows what happened to that set 🤔
Great tips about getting rid of deceased family members' things. The stuff makes me feel sad and that's a great reason to simply get rid of it. Thank you! And yes, they've been gone for 20+ years now. Again, thank you so much!
Bring the family to go through maybe? I know that I don’t need my mom to keep all my grandmothers things for me for the future- I can look through right now, and choose the heirlooms that call to me specifically. That way I have things hers that holds meaning for me as a person…and nothing more 💜
I’m just gonna say. Birthday cards is what I love I kept now. My grandparents died and that is mainly what I have left over from them talking to me directly their handwriting and words they actually chose for me as I can feel like I can read that and have them there with me for a moment. I’d think long and hard before throwing away letters from family and people you’ll always love and miss
Love this! Definitely don't think that things you still go back to are clutter- especially not hand written notes. Keep those memories!!! I was talking about the stuff that we have no attachment to and don't know why we're holding on to it. 💕
I totally get your thoughts! I took my grandmother cards and ones given to my mother and aunt by my grandmother cut the important words out and part of picture I liked and glued a collage onto an plain box from Hobby Lobby and gifted it back to them. They were amazed and grateful. Now the cards can be ‘seen’ and have a useful purpose. Cheers!
Girl, I just donated my dad's tuxedo a few weeks ago. He's been gone almost 25 years. I kept one of his sweaters and I use his old scissors and shears when I sew. Those things make me feel close to him. The rest didn't. My mom - I kept her nurse's cape and a housedress she used to love hanging out in. Those two things make me feel close to her, and celebrate who she was. But it takes time to realize what those few things are and pare down the rest.
THANK YOU GIRL hubby of 49+ years moved to Heaven 2 1/2 yrs ago. Moved from 2 bed/2 bathroom and large garage with his maintenance Shop with stacks of wood on his side/ my supplies for crafts/tutoring/drawing and chalk-acrylic At projects... Writing supplies/ Hosp Pro Med Caring Clown costumes and supplies Sewing supplies... Whew !!! Moved into Senior Housing security Hotel ONE BEDROOM...YEP... You get pic. Two seniors helping with move suggested "just renting smallest 5x5 TEMPOARILY"of boxes too tough to go thru "because might need some day". Well... When Good Lord asked a simple question, " how long been since you've looked here?) Over year. Justify ""But it's onlY $63" YES... COULDN'T THAT ANY N BE BETTER USED TO BUILD PERMANENT KINGDOM ABOVE? WHEN I'D FREALIZED ID SPENT CLOSE TO$1,000.00...I was sick to my stomach. Thanks for your kind questions and layered concept. Gratefully for your vulnerability!
@@lisapalmer4059 we did this also. There were 5 girls, we each got a different pattern. Plus with extra fabric we cut into hearts and put into a picture frame with our favorite picture. So each daughter got an apron, a wine bottle holder made from the sleeve & a picture.
This is me. By time I get a day off I attempt to start to declutter/organize. I stare-eat-walk dog-sleep. I get tired just by the thought of where to start.
Take one drawer in any room of the house. Pull up a garbage can and a chair. Open the drawer. Why is all of that trash in there. Throw out trash and reorganize. Move to the next little thing that won't take long to do. Proceed another small drawer. Repeat as often as you'd like.😊❤❤❤ And do NOT beat yourself up about anything. You'll feel so good from cleaning up one drawer that it gives you the momentum to continue. I'm in the middle of it right now, and I'm loving the lifting of heaviness that lifts more and more off of my shoulders with every single drawer/cabinet/closet I declutter and rearrange. May GOD continue to bless you, my friend.❤❤❤
This is absolutely me!😕 I told my family that I wasn’t going to travel this year, so I could get my houses in order, and it’s August, and it pretty much looks the same that it did back in November, when I said it!😢 I get tired and overwhelmed thinking about where to start. Then when I do, sometimes I think I make things worse…it’s depressing.😞🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
it doesn't matter where you start. You could literally flip a coin to decide where you start. also you can spend minimal time like 15 minutes a day. even 2 minutes a day!
I’ve been decluttering for well over 10years. Started as merging two households into one and then purging what we don’t need, etc. I started to hardcore declutter about 5years ago when I realized I still couldn’t keep up with the house work. I’ve had two key takeaways - first I needed to find my “clutter threshold” and second, I realized I was buying things to “temporarily fill a need” instead of just buying the better item up front. So I was never truly happy with what I owned. Now I buy with intention. If I have to wait a little longer, so be it.
I extend my most sincere condolences for the loss of your parents. Thank you for mentioning why you kept their belongings in storage. It has been three years since losing my mom in law. I had a very hard time parting with her things, and my late father in laws things as it was like losing them all over again or like disrespecting them by letting their belongings go. I realize it is okay to let someone else enjoy the pieces, whether furniture, knickknacks, or clothing. I also realize I have to have my own things around me, which align with who I am and not live "in someone else's house, living someone else's life." It has taken over three years to unload three storage units and to clear out my own house but I am 90 percent done and I am starting to feel like my old self again. The time it took to fuss with all the stuff was overwhelming, time consuming and depressing.
That’s a lot of loss. I lost my mother 10 years ago (I was 35 and her passing was unexpected). I found that it put things in perspective for me. If I can live without my own mother, I can live without mere possessions. It’s been a good reminder as my children get older as well, and the pull of their artwork and baby clothing feels overwhelming.
Thank you and condolences on your loss as well. 💜 The trauma of loss really does a number on our sense of reasoning. I have come to terms with that realization as well that letting their stuff go doesn't equate to letting them go. I think I always knew that mentally, but my heart/healing had to catch up with it. But it has been a weight and it's time to fully heal. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
@@katiejon17wow-this is a super powerful way of thinking about things. My mind is kind of blown because I’ve listened to SO many decluttering videos/podcasts/audiobooks etc, and not a single person has ever mentioned this, which is surprising. I’m sorry for your loss, but think it’s amazing that you were able to come to what I consider a pretty profound realization, that I want to thank you for sharing x100000. I’m lucky enough to still have my parents with me, but have been struggling with clutter/overwhelm for as long as I’ve lived on my own. I’m also very ADHD, which certainly doesn’t help things-but I spent SO much time just LOOKING for things….and now I’m thinking about my parents’ ages and how that wasted time looking for things-and honestly, the time spent wasted due to the overwhelm caused by clutter (which makes cleaning much harder and a longer process!). So you’ve kind of lit me up and inspired me to be ruthless in my decluttering-which luckily I’d already planned on doing for half of today! Thanks again for sharing your wisdom!
@@Hmy8799 I’m happy it helped! I shut down my YT channel a few years ago and I’m toying with getting it back up. There’s so much discussion for all of us to have. And certainly when we choose to live minimally, our finances also improve without even trying. ❤
Great advice. I have gone through layers of cleaning our over decades. I’m almost 60. Raised 6 children. Married 20 yrs. I like what you have to say here. One category I made up was “props.” This is the delusional category. Hahahaha Things we keep for a life we don’t actually have. I had some home bread making things. I was never going to use them, but I saw myself as a home made bread maker. Lol it was this weird glass tube for long, thin loaves and some other things. I do make home made bread occasionally. A regular bread pan is fine. I didn’t need all this extra things way back when our small house was over crowded. I don’t miss it at all.
I just found your channel today. I've already listened to this post twice, and I know I will be listening to it again. My best "Aha!" moment came when I listened to Dana K White's channel, and she explained her "container" definition. definition. Your house is a container. It has a limited size and volume. Then she breaks it down even further. Each room in your house is a container. Each closet, drawer, shoebox is a container. You can only fill each container with the amount of stuff that fills that space. Whatever does not fit must find another home, be donated, or trashed. I'm paraphrasing quite a bit, but once I got that I could not just keep stuffing my containers to overflowing, it became easier to pick out what was most important to me to keep in that container. Six trashbags of clothes were, quickly, donated. It's still a slow process for me, but it's getting better and easier. Good luck to everyone going through this process.
Yes!!!! My mom passed away in my late twenties. I felt like I was obligated to hold on to her things: 1- because mamaaaa!!! 😭and 2- as the only girl in the family I was expected to be the Chief Mama Memory Protector. 🙄 So it was really hard to declutter her things. ON TOP OF THE FACT that she was the family historian and the eldest daughter of the daughter! So she had her things, granny and pawpaws things, my brothers things, ALL THE THINGS! C L U T T E R - C I T Y It was hard but I made a lot of headway. Still a journey tho... Thank you so much for your videos!
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's a shared bond that none of us really want to have but helps us to understand what each other is going through. Wow!!! Yes, that's a lot. Being the one who feels duty-bound to manage all of the memories is quite a heavy load. So proud that you've made some headway!!!
Someone told me "other peoples stuff is not your burden"...it helped so much dealing with all my mums stuff after she passed. I still have a few things I need to let go...a few bits of antique furniture I have no space for. They will go, I'd rather someone else get use of them than they collect dust, take up space in my mind and home. ♥️
Whew thank you because I'm both you and your mama. My brothers didn't help with anything and they are 10+ years older than me. I started asking my family if they wanted certain memories and trinkets and now I'm trying to digitize things so that others have access to them and I don't leave my future children with the burden that was left on me.
I’m 60 and don’t want to leave a mess for my children, I’ve been widowed 4 years and have 2 special daughters who will be with me until I die. I not only want but need to de clutter! I feel like my stuff controls me! I am happy I found your page.
I'm so glad you're here. It can be really difficult to let stuff go, but we have to push ourselves to do it. Take small steps toward it if you need to. I just did this video as a follow up and I think it'll be helpful. ua-cam.com/video/Dyuy3vAbhlA/v-deo.html
I certainly hear what your saying, l don’t want to leave a bunch of stuff behind for my family, l have stuff packed in storage boxes,its memorabilia so they can keep what they want or get rid of it.
I started watching this on my tv but came to my phone to comment. I’m about 5 minutes into the video. When you said something about your marriage, I quickly thought “oh she’s married very young” nothing too deep, just a quick thought. Then you said you’re 43 and my mind is blown! Girl what?! You barely, barely look 25! 💕💕💕
Hi, I agree with you! I had a similar reaction to her and her appearance. I thought she MUST be very young. Then she told us her age, and I was astonished! She looks quite young and lovely. Her skin is great and her complexion is flawless. Her teeth are gorgeous, too. (I am quite jealous.)
My first reaction was wow, this woman has it together and how beautiful she is. Look at that smile, it’s perfect. And he skin! What a beautiful soul to get to the essence of a problem and give us a pathway to solve it.
It don't Crack! Lolol I'm 5'1, 116 lbs andmy 13 year old is more developed and taller than me (and I have 4 other children). When I tell them I'm in my 30s they're like, "Oh.." 😂😂 always thinking I'm 12 😭😭
I don’t know if they have done studies on this but I strongly suspect that grief or trauma may very well be the main cause for hoarding behaviour. I was never hoarder until certain things happened in my life and then I suddenly started hoarding and found it so hard to stop!
I recently lost 123lbs. I’m currently in the process of moving. I just rid of a construction size bag of clothes that I really loved or never got to wear. I kept them thinking that I can tailor them, but it would basically be reconstructing a whole new garment. I had to remind myself that I now have the opportunity to enjoy the clothes that actually fit me now.
I moved from size 1x, then 16, 14, now 10-12 These clothes are too good for Goodwill. Looked around at church, assistant yoyth pastor is a vit larger than I, so two shopping bags and handful of things on hangers, she'll save $$$ and I have space.
Something my DinL OFTEN says when she visits my house is, "your house is so peaceful." I believe what she's really noticing is the clean kitchen surfaces, the lack of clutter throughout & the calming effect created by having an easily maintained home. It pleases me, for her, that she has found a place of respite. ♡
Now THIS, right here, has inspired me. My grandsons come over, and they LOVE it here because our house is bigger, but also, comparatively clear and neat. However, 26 years has taken a toll, and I really MUST get RID of some of the accumulated stuff. I have my daughter's prom dress from when she was 16! (She's the one with the kids.) I have instruments and board games that will never be played, clothes that will never be worn, dishes that are "too nice" to use, art supplies that will never become anything more, and I'm really ready to divest myself of all of the mental "weight" of it.
I rent a bedroom from this lady I met on Craigslist. I tell people not to give me gifts because I have no space. I’ve had several people tell me I should get a storage room… so I would then be paying interest on items I bought that I’m saving to use? I tell people to give me portrait picture of them. Nobody does that anymore. But a photo to cherish when your old and people have moved on is priceless, and it fits nicely in an album.
It's really wise of you to prioritize space and focus on what truly matters, especially when living in a rented room. Photos can hold so much value, capturing memories and relationships without taking up much room. It’s a beautiful way to cherish the people in your life and create lasting memories. Sounds like you've found a meaningful way to live simply and thoughtfully!
#3 Layer is also a key to spending money wisely. Discovering how much you buy for your ideal or fantasy self but don’t actually use is a real eye opener.
Oh my goodness, yes- that is SUCH and eye-opener! Also made me realize I wasn't treating myself the way that I deserved. St. Louis is a fun, undercover gem!
I would love to visit sometime. But my driving abilities is limited, so am too skittish to get on the highway needed to get there, cannot afford to fly or Greyhound, as for the train, I would got to go 5 hours north then shoot hours back south. Maybe one day. Would love it if at least can go to the mall with my baby boy who can handle the highway driving.
THIS IS GOOD. ESPECIALLY THE QUESTIONS. I TELL PEOPLE THAT DECLUTTERING IS A PROCESS THAT MUST BE DONE IN BITE SIZE PIECES OR THEY WILL GET OVERWHELMED AND STOP ALTOGETHER. MANY FEEL BAD BECAUSE THEY KNOW IT NEEDS TO BE DONE BUT THEY DON’T HAVE THE ENERGY TO DO IT. ONE MUST HAVE A STRATEGY, A TIMELINE, AND EITHER AN AUDIOBOOK OR SOME GOOD MUSIC TO SET THE ATMOSPHERE SO THEY CAN GET THAT ONE CORNER OR THAT ONE BOX DONE TODAY. THANK YOU. 😊😊😊😊😊
My husband recently passed away. He bought our home when he was 19 yrs old. And he did not believe in throwing stuff away. It's was a nightmare for me to get rid of 45 yrs of stuff some which he hadn't used since the 70's. I found two denim bell bottom suits. Suits !! 😂😂. It's taken me months to delete it all. Don't leave stuff behind for your loved ones. It's hard enough to grieve and no one needs to be stuck with your mess. ❤❤
I’m so sorry for your loss. And wow, it’s seems you have a really healthy ability to detach the stuff from his memory. ❤️ Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom.
I’m so sorry for your loss. My husband passed away a few months ago also, and I need to get rid of most of his clothing, so I can have more closet space, which tells me that I definitely should go through my things too!
@@kristidoingthings I kept the most sentimental things for sure. The small things he used everyday. But I'm lucky I had no sentiment towards his clothes and tools and other things. But I had no choice. I couldn't keep the house and had to sell it quickly. And it sold the day it went in the market. I know how hard that is for so many spouses tho.
The taking a picture idea is a superwoman level solution. 💪 Take pictures and then print them on photo paper or regular printer paper. Put them in a photo album and write a little blurb or the story of the memory with the date of each experience. Then, you really can let go of the actual item. The memory is what is important. 🥰
This. The hardest thing for me to get rid of has been my son's stuff from when he was a kid. This is going to help me break through today. Thank You! 🙏🏽💙💙💙💙💜🌎🕊️
I have had the honor of cleaning out the homes of four loved ones who have passed away, I also helped my best friend clean out her mother's items. I've only kept some of my mom's items. Like the blazer she would wear. It's soothing for me. I walk into the closet, hug it, and tell her that I love and miss her. I have three pieces of furniture of hers in the garage. They have been there for four years. I wanted to reupholster two single chairs. They're about 45 yrs. old. If I'm completely honest with myself, I'm not going to do it. Besides my mother's items, I have so many things that I need to get rid of. Your video has helped me to begin the journey of decluttering. I know I will experience pain, joy, crying, laughing, headaches, and finally a great relief when it's all done. Thank you so much for this video. I stumbled upon it. I don't believe in coincidence. God brings things to our lives at the right time to make changes for the better. Blessings to you and yours.
Thank you for sharing your experience; it sounds both profound and emotional. It's beautiful that you’ve kept certain items from your mom as a way to feel connected to her. I do the same. Starting the decluttering process is a big step, and it’s great that you’re ready to embrace the mix of emotions that will come with it. It’s all part of honoring those memories while making space for new ones. I truly believe that finding your way to this video was meant to help you take that journey. Wishing you strength and peace as you move forward-blessings to you as well! 😘
This sounds like me. However, I turned 57 a month ago and promised my self this is the end of that tradition. I am going room by room and decluttering and going to enjoy the things I have. I look back at the living room furniture over the years that was never utilized, as well as the vehicles barely driven. I can’t believe I have accumulated so much stuff overtime. I am actually feeling overwhelmed, but I got this.🙏🏾🙏🏾
Yes, I have felt like a failure, can't get it together to sort out the mess for Years!! Some traumatic stuff with the family which led to this. I've been overwhelmed that it's just there, don't look, don't care but thinking I have to do something about it...all the time. For 3 years. Thanks for this video👍 🧡
Thank you so much for sharing this-it takes real courage to open up about feeling overwhelmed. First, let me say this loud and clear: You are not a failure. Life happens, and trauma, especially, can make it hard to face the “stuff” that piles up. It’s not just clutter-it’s the emotional weight attached to it, and that’s not something anyone should feel ashamed of. You’ve got this, and I’m cheering you on every step of the way! Thank you again for being here and for sharing your journey-you’re not alone in this. 🧡✨
I realized I had a clothes hoarding problem when I got a stain on something and I felt relieved that I could get rid of it. It was out of my control, and for some reason, I just sighed and it felt good. One less thing to worry about. It can be so hard to get rid of things. I felt that if I got rid of something, it would be my fault that I was sad or that I missed it, and I understood that my problem extended from abandonment trauma, an obscured sense of self, and when my home caved in and I lost so much. I got clothes to try and feel good about myself, but materialistic things don't heal. You need to rid of stuff that distracts you from your true purpose. You need time to do more things other than constantly decluttering. You will feel good once you open up your time to more fulfilling things, you can do it! ❤
Lao Tzu said, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” I say THANK GOD YOU MADE THIS VIDEO. I am sitting in the chaos of boxes trying to pack to move… then avoiding that task by watching some UA-cam. Suddenly, you appeared. I can’t tell you how much I needed to learn the practicality of this lesson. Thank you for the clarity of the questions, rather than just theory, so that I could IMPLEMENT this right now!!
I’ve been decluttering for about 2 years. It’s been getting so much easier now. I noticed that some things are harder than others to get rid of. My weak spot is all of my office/craft supplies
I thought I was going to need counseling to get rid of my craft supplies, but it turned out to be easier than I thought. I didn’t know about the layers then but looking back, I did go through the layers. I got rid of duplicates. I looked at what my current interest were, and got rid of items associated with crafts I no longer enjoyed or did. I got rid for old patterns with sizes that no longer fit & were outdated styles. For the sentimental stuff, I picked a spot and only allow myself to keep what would fit in the designated space. That made me decide what was really important to me. What made it easier was donating some supplies to teachers. Giving things to people that I knew would use and enjoy them. I sold some items, which put some money back in my pocket. When I start slipping, I remember my reason why, which was to make space for what I really enjoy. Now I’m realizing I need to watch the lack mentality-not wanting to throw things away because I could use it to make something. What can I say…I see treasures in trash. I own it. I just have to be mindful about that. If I’m not making anything with it…I don’t have a current project or use for it, I let it go so I don’t end up going down that rabbit hole.
Another component to this is donation. Donate the items you really can’t use that you know someone else would really love, but donate to a cause that is close to your heart for me It was donating to a local, battered women shelter, and a domestic violence, safe house, because I went through domestic violence, this gave me a sense of purpose and love.❤
I LOVE your layers!!! GREAT explanations of each!!! For layer 4, I recommend if people have multiple items from a past away loved one(s) they are trying to declutter. Think of the memories the items bring up. Every life has its ups AND downs. So only keep a few of the items that bring up the VERY BEST memories of your loved one! The Minimal Mom had a vid on UA-cam where she explained how she had these dolls as a child and she loved keeping them in pristine condition. Whenever her younger cousins came over she got anxious about some of her dolls bc of how they played with their own dolls, and wanted to hide them. Then as an adult, her mother 1 day suddenly brought her the bin of all her childhood dolls for her own girls. She looked at them and the happy memories were there as well as the anxious feelings about her cousins ruining them. Instead of giving them to her girls, she decided that she didn't want to see them in her house and think of those anxiety thoughts all the time whenever she see she kids playing with them, so she donated them to charity! Much like my story of a person who broke into my house while I was sleeping...(long story cut out)... I never wanted to see that same bedroom again. I changed my entire bedroom from blue & green plaid to pink and white. I even got rid of my side table. And the old bed set? I brought it to an animal shelter in a different city than the one that I volunteered at (just to make sure that I would never see it again!)
You just said the number one thing that we have a huge problem with in our home and that is mail. I had to pause the video and go and find a shredder and order it because I had been saying that I was going to order one so now I officially have one on the way. WHEW!!!
I’m 82 and have largely gotten through the first layer. Plenty of the second too but you sure right about the layers. I’ve digitised some, more to go. Great self questions. Thanks for your help. Funnily enough I finally got rid of some really great 36 size pants because I hadn’t lost weight. Then I did keto 5 years ago and have been buying 36 waist pants! At my age I appreciate irony.
It’s wonderful to hear you’re making progress through those layers! Digitizing can be such a game-changer. So funny about the pants!!! Thank you for sharing your journey 😊
I totally relate to this I have moved between MA and SC twice in the last 5 years. I have two storage units in MA. I finally said enough is ENOUGH. I booked a flight and took off work so I can spend 2-3 days clearing out my storage and moving on. These are great tips to get me thru it. Thank you ❤
I'm 68, and 20 yrs ago I learned from my older sister to "lose the love"... and " if you haven't used it in a yr " we got tired of cleaning up after our older loved ones passed away... now at 68 I no longer own 3 houses, and now everything I own fits in my small bedroom in my single daughter's 2 bedroom house, which we are house-sitting. No longer have credit card bills, mortgages, car payments... I craft and sell at craft fairs... it's wonderful.. Thank you sis for teaching me this 20 yrs ago.. It feels so liberating and satisfying that I won't leave my daughter a big mess. Don't get me wrong, I still have a box of memories..even childhood elementary school mementos, photos of events throughout my life, favorite movies, favorite books, they're my babies, and alot of yarn and craft supplies that I will forever use, but my room can be emptied out in 2 hours. It took years, and heartache, but it is worth it... very satisfying..
What a powerful journey you've had! It’s inspiring to hear how you’ve embraced minimalism and found such freedom in simplifying your life. Learning to “lose the love” for things that no longer serve you is a profound lesson, and it sounds like your sister’s wisdom has made a lasting impact. Being able to fit everything you own into one room speaks volumes about your growth and commitment to living intentionally. It’s also wonderful that you’ve kept those treasured memories and creative supplies-those are meaningful parts of your life that can bring joy and inspiration. You're not only setting a great example for your daughter but also creates a legacy of clarity and purpose. Thank you for sharing your story; it’s a beautiful reminder of how letting go can lead to a more fulfilling and satisfying life. 🌼
I’ve been saving things since 2005. I started selling all those things on eBay and Mercari during the pandemic. 400 listings and 2 garage sales later I’ve finally decluttered my life.
I want to develop the bandwidth to sell on a platform. I just don’t feel right about donating anymore. I think I owe it time myself to try to recoup some money
When each of my parents (divorced) passed I found a folder of my letters, artwork, school report cards, hand made cards, tests with a gold star or high grade and newspapers of the day I was born and important events. My dad had a folder about him that my grandparents kept and the letters between them when my grandfather was a soldier in WWII. Going through this was heart warming during a time of great loss. The love I felt and the sense of the natural progression of life was much needed. I recommend not throwing them away.
What a beautiful treasure trove of love and history your parents and grandparents preserved for you! Those keepsakes are such powerful reminders of the connections we share across generations-thank you for sharing this heartfelt story and thoughtful advice. ❤️
Great video! If you need a little more incentive to declutter, calculate how much of your mortgage payment is spent each month for the space taken up by clutter. Say if you have a 1800 sq. ft. house and a $2000 mortgage you are paying $1.11 per month ($2000/1800) for each sq. ft. of your home. If you have a 12 x 12 ft. room full of clutter, that is 144 sq. ft. You are paying 144 x $1.11 = about $160 a month for that cluttered up space!
“I will make sure this doesn’t BECOME clutter by…” LOVE it I work from home now & now i have to actively wear my clothes & jewlry but also acknowledge some stuff i don’t need anymore
You are the 1st declutter to PRECISELY identify my struggle. I am a master organizer. I can enter any room, closet, or garage overflowing with disordered piles of things, literally floor to ceiling, and put it in orderly intuitively labeled organizers - but my OWN treasures? …they’ve been hanging around. You spoke to my needs. I subscribed!
Aww, so glad you’re here and that it helped! I truly believe we have to understand why we do things to get to the root of it. I was re-reading your comment and thought about how I am also a really good organizer. I had so much less perfectly tucked away, and home so clean, but I knew there was stuff that needed hanging and could feel the weight of it. Best of luck as you continue your journey!
Another idea is, if you have a large plastic storage tub, fill with water & just toss them in. In time, they become mush. Then drain & toss out. You can also use it for mulch in your garden. Saves time without shredding/tearing. More time to declutter...lol..
@@TheChickenn08 I do that too!!! Then hand shred😂.....well if I can still see what's on them. That paper get heavy! But I never thought about the mulch in garden🤔 thanks for that little life hack.
Terrific tips that are actionable TODAY! Thank you, I’m so glad I found you on UA-cam! I was having a hard time decluttering before a move and I can now see how subconsciously having to navigate these layers was killing progress. All that work underneath the surface really adds to the cognitive load of the task - but without realizing it. I was like, why am I so tired doing this? Now I pick a room or area of the house and start by sorting the clutter into these four layers, and then tackle layer by layer for that area. Game changer. Amazesome. Seriously. I’ll add one bonus question to Layer 3: Would I clean poop off of it? (Like if it fell in some dog s- or there was a freak toddler eruption in your house.) If the answer is no, you can let it go. For me this is the fastest way to sort out how I feel about something and whether it deserves to take up space in my life. Now I just need a similar question to sort out people in my life …
You hit the nail on the head when you said “you can be in multiple of these layers at the same time” and it’s which “layer the item falls into”, rather than which layer you are currently in. I’ve been decluttering for a few years now and I used to think I would get through the onion layers one at a time. It’s the object’s layer rather than the overall layer I think I’m in. Thank you for helping me to understand this more clearly ❤. Moving home is also a brilliant help to decluttering 😊
Moving definitely helps with declutterring- realizing you don’t want to take things into a new era of your life is so motivating. So happy it clarifies things for you ❤️
My husband passed in January. I’ve been trying to get myself through the decluttering process and I didn’t even realize I’m someone else now and that’s my block until your video. Thank you.
Aww, I'm so sorry for your loss. I imagine it feels a bit overwhelming at times. Show yourself grace and don't try to do it all at once. Sending you love and hugs. 💜
I realize that less is more and I’ve been working periodically on decluttering, everywhere l look in this house is stuff, 50 towels, dishes etc- I’ve gotten rid of some things and don’t miss them at all. Real good video
I could hear the emotion in your voice when you talked about losing your parents in your 20’s and saving their things and your memories. They must have been very beautiful people. It touched me.
i got so overwhelmed i got depressed and stopped my journey of decluttering which compounded it. Thanks for talking about the fourth layer , the heart. ,this explains why moving or geting rid of thing that were m y mom's was so very hard while onlookers kept saying you need ot get rid of all that. It felt like someone was ripping my heart out
This video is gold for me. Just got divorced, I have been living in this small 2-bedroom apartment and it is STACKED with pictures of all sizes, big and small, all occasions. Not to mention other handy items like the sewing machine and like you mentioned, there's games, kids' artwork, so aside from two fish tanks and that closet full of my clothes too, I got a whole bedroom that I cannot use because, memories.
You hit me in the heart at 4:32 because I can totally relate. I am doing that same thing!!! My mom passed away in 2008…I know I know. And I cannot bring myself to throw somd stuff away.
Hear you!! I’m literally watching these coz I need to start removing my beloved Mum’s things, lost her 2020, and it’s freaking me out and ripping me up!!! How is it not cruel to pull apart what she spent 45 years collecting 🥺😭😭
@@positivechic1463 yes!!!!!!! Same. I haven’t even touched her underwear drawers, clothes, have her handbag, office and art. Nearly everything where she left it. And now my Dad is very ill and I need to move home and I can’t fit unless I start sorting her things and I’m freaking out!! 🥺😭😭😭😭😭. Everything has its place and her colour coordination and setup - but it doesn’t fit my needs or suit my taste, but it feels like a hug from her when I’m around it. It’s sooooooooo hard!!!
Aww...yeah, it is SOOO hard. 💜 But we do have to eventually determine what to keep and what to realize doesn't actually move us in the direction we want to go. But that doesn't make it easy.
Thank you for saying with Layer 4 - there’s no set time to release items. It’s good to hear from the perspective of someone that understands that an emotional loss is the hardest to deal with when trying to declutter.
I personally tried to change my shopping habits by instead of buying everything that i am interested in, i would take a picture of it and if i keep going back to that picture or can't stop thinking about it then i might actually buy it but it often results in me not buying it and helps me to keep my space.
Thank you, you have explained something that I have been searching for an answer to for a long time. I have items I have kept from when I was unwell and unable to do much at all, the fear of ending back there, has kept me from tossing these out. I cant bring myself to use these items because they bring back a mindset of depression, overwhelm and dread, yet I have kept these because they were my only source of comfort during that horrible time. Even now knowing what I need to do, tears are in my eyes because they are old friends. I think I will donate these items so if I ever find myself missing them I can at least think of other people getting enjoyment from them. Again a massive thank you.
I’m so glad my message resonated with you! It’s completely understandable to feel a strong attachment to those items; they represent a difficult time, but also your resilience. Donating them is a beautiful way to honor that journey while also allowing yourself to move forward. It’s such a generous choice to think of others who might benefit from what you’ve held onto. Remember, it’s okay to feel emotional during this process-it’s a sign of your growth and healing. You’re doing an incredible job!
Thanks for the "questions" to ask ourselves. We are getting ready to move soon, ourselves. When my husband and I got married, I put a tub in our utility room. I told him it was there and if there was anything he didn't want, need, like, used, or couldn't wear to put it in the bin. Once it got full I would be taking it to Goodwill. This still gave us a chance to "go back and get it" if we needed to. After 16 years, there has only been 1 time that he/I went back to get something out. He repurposed said item and is still using it today. 🙂
i took a huge tub of photos, art work, certificates, documents and scanned them all and put them on an external hard drive. A lot of work, but well worth it.
The important thing is NOT to be alone in the process. Some folks don't have a support system n find themselves having to deal w/ the overwhelming mess on their own
Wow I needed to watch this because I have also been paying for a storage unit for going on over 6 years of stuff that was my dad's that passed away and holding on to it all because it's all I have left of him. I have been also hearing him and I's song lately and now seeing this after I was just thinking about what to do with all that stuff has just made me think it's ok to start not holding on to all that materialistic stuff and just keep the good memories and some small things to hold onto. Thank you ❤
I’m so glad this resonated with you-it sounds like such a deeply personal journey you’re on. It’s completely understandable to hold onto things that feel connected to your dad, especially since they’re a part of his memory for you. But it’s also beautiful that you’re realizing the memories and love you carry in your heart are what matter most. Starting small, like keeping a few meaningful items, can feel more manageable and still honor his legacy. Hearing your song and stumbling across this feels like such a gentle sign-you’re not alone in this. Sending you so much love as you take this step. ❤
I have a craft room that is taking over my life. I can’t get into it and when I do squeeze my way in there, I can’t create anything so after I heard your video, I took an Imaginary pencil and I split the room up into six imaginary parts and I’m going to start cleaning it as soon as I press the send button and thank you for sharing how to declutter. Pray for me I’m going in.😂😂😂 11:50
🤣🤣🤣🤣 yes I’m alive but I have to be honest. I cleaned one corner of the room and started a mess on the other corner of the room but I’m still alive. I’m so sad. It’s funny. I am so sad that I can’t get this room clean.🤣🤣🤣
@@robinrice1540I need to do this too. And wanted to share that I am going to divide the hours spent in the room to clean and on what days. Hope that will help you as well.
Your layers make so much sense, this is my first time seeing your channel. The beginning pan with you and your husband made me laugh. My current stage of dealing with layers is the 4th layer. My father passed away 2 years ago, we had an estate sale but there were many items that the 3 of us kids wanted to keep. Some items we had no room for, so I moved them down to my work warehouse (I own a small business). This has allowed me time to get over the sentimental aspect of all these items. I have some in my home and coming to realize that some of the items I don't want and neither do my siblings. I have plenty of other things bringing nice memories and I am incorporating them into my decor. But having the place to put things has allowed me to deal with the sentimental stuff. Thank you for your clarity and sharing your journey to help the rest of us, you are a beautiful lady!
Thank you so much!!! I appreciate your kind words. So sorry for your loss. It can be so hard to know exactly what to do with those belongings but it's good you're finding what you want and coming to terms with what you're willing to let go. 💛
When my mother passed away at 91, my brother and I gave away her furniture and clothing to neighbors and charity. She had a 45 year old plant that my brother replanted in 4 pots and gave to siblings and cousins. Her knitted throws and some articles of clothing I made small throw pillows for my brother and grandchildren.
I love the investigative questions, and giving deadlines to use the items. This helps me even more with my decluttering project. I am excited to jump back in. Thank you so much for this video!
Whew!! The first layer is ME with mail, but I honestly fit in layers 1 thru 3. I glad I've stumbled upon this video today because I've been thinking about decluttering for a while and this my PUSH to do so!!!!
THANK YOU for addressing the "stuff" we inherited from our parents or others in our family. When my mom passed and my brother moved out of state, everything we couldn't sell ended up in my tiny house. There is so much furniture that isn't mine jammed in here, but it's been hard to donate it. I don't want it to be thrown away. If it doesn't sell in a certain time, they will throw it out and that's just wasteful.
@@kristidoingthings Most places won't accept furniture donations around here. I'm not sure why, but the St Vincent de Paul, the Goodwill and the local veteran's group charity shop won't accept furniture donations. I thought about donating it to the local place that collects furniture for homeless people, but they want NEW furniture.
Hey! Don’t forget sometimes we hang onto things for positive vibes as well! Some folks have tshirts, socks, hats, etc. that they use as memories of fun events or times where they did something memorable. BUT, they are taking up unnecessary space. 10 shirts from The Bahamas!!!! 30 pair of Christmas socks???? Come on now! Let it go. Keep 1 or 2!
Agreed! BTW…we need to get rid of some cards!!!!! And some doggone tshirts!!!!! Grrrr. Round 4 of decluttering in the Patterson household! Kristi let’s do some things!
I have a t-shirt that was bought on holiday 44 years ago. I could just about squeeze into it, but I would never wear it and haven't since I was a teenager. I think it's time it went to the great rag pile in the sky!
I can’t imagine the difficulty in trying to let go of your parents’ belongings. I’m so sorry you lost them at such a young age. Sending lots of love and hugs your way. Taking a picture is the main way I can get rid of tons of stuff. Great advice. I love this video. I will definitely subscribe. Love your sense of humor at the beginning too! ❤😊
Thank you for your kind words and for subscribing. It means a lot, and I’m glad the advice resonates with you. We have a good time over here! Sending love and gratitude your way! 😊❤
This is so true! For me it often helps to do several passes of decluttering, basically working myself through the layers. If I'm really struggling I will even start with layer 0: trash. It's amazing in a pretty awful way how much stuff is literal trash (empty envelopes, candy wrappers, tubes of cream that are practically empty). Weeding that out already creates some breathing space and motivation to get to your actual belongings.
I have a problem with mail too (everything, but mail seems like it should be the easiest to conquer). There are stacks of paper everywhere. I can’t figure out what to keep sometimes. These types of videos are always inspiring, so thank you!🙏
Hi Kristi. I just found your channel today. I've been on a decluttering journey for quite a few years and I think I am finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. The past two weeks I have been pulling tons of things out of closets and the attic and I am having a yard sale this weekend with my step-daughter. I am 54 and for the past 18 years I have been lugging around the country not only my things but my deceased parents belongings. Items that I used to consider as "treasures" while dealing with grief have now become a burden. I also live in a much smaller home and there just isn't room for a lot of these items and I am a completely different person than I was all those years ago. I felt a little stuck and emotional today and needed some fresh new inspiration. I searched for decluttering videos and found you. You hit on a lot of topics that really resonated with me. My little home is a disaster right now with all of the things my husband and I are hauling to the yard sale Saturday but I am seeing how it's going to be so much more spacious and clean. I could go on and on about this journey but I'll just say thank you for your video and I just subscribed!
Welcome! I am so glad that you finally found your way over here! 🤗 Decluttering can take SOOO long- girl, I really had no idea when I first started. So I have to ask, did you get your home to the spacious cleanliness that you want?!
@@kristidoingthings Hi and thank you for responding. It’s getting close, but the closer I get, the more I see that I’m ready to let go. But it’s definitely feeling/looking lighter and more spacious🥰
I've been loving this since I started my decluttering journey. I've donated and thrown away a big portion of my stuff, keeping only the things that spark joy. However, I've realized that I still have clutter because of these items. So, I now have a donation bag near my door, where I'll put things I haven't touched in weeks. Then, I'll see if I miss or remember having them. If not, they're going to be donated 😊❤😂
What a great strategy! Having a donation bag ready makes it so much easier to keep the momentum going in your decluttering journey. It’s amazing how we often forget about things we thought we needed. I love that you’re giving yourself the chance to see if you truly miss those items-such a great way to ensure you’re only keeping what truly brings you joy! Keep up the great work! 😊❤
SO GLAD I FOUND YOU!!! For such a time as THIS!!! These are great questions! Writing them down because I’m graciously navigating ALL FOUR layers: ready to be FREE!
As a rule, I really love to declutter. Even so, I get bogged down at times (okay, pretty often lol) and then search for a thought-provoking channel to refocus. There are some good videos out there, but yours is one of the BEST I’ve seen. Thank you for explaining your concept of declutterring layers. It’s an excellent way of understanding the process. I haven’t yet looked to see if you already have, but you should definitely write a book!
Oh my days, your manic laugh when you're panning around your place - I lost it! Laughed with you. Good on you for showing this and sharing your techniques.
Thank you so much you are encouraging...I am almost 64 and I currently have 3 storages taking up my money not to mention the garage and my advice is get on it sooner then later while you are strongband healthy and you have your husband while I still have my husband of 44 years praise God he is going truogj some health issues at the present and now it's oh no why didn't I do this sooner stop putting it off...I'm trying to save someone money here...om still trying to get to mine...I blew out my ankle in auto accident 20 years ago which gets in my way from time to.time especially in those times where I feel like ok let's do this...I a retired teacher. .and yes I still have my stuff...ugh....pray for me and I pray that God will keep giving you guidance and wisdom and strength
Thank you for sharing your journey! It’s inspiring to hear your determination, especially with everything you’re navigating. I completely understand how those storages can weigh on you both financially and mentally. Prayers sent and thank you for your prayers as well! I’m cheering you on as you make progress with your decluttering! You’ve got this! 🙏❤️
@@kristidoingthingsI have a storage unit also..with a piano from 1930s my great grandmother gave me and I used to play flawlessly. I haven't had a house yet to put it in and I'm almost 50. I love my piano..sadly it costs me $80 a month to keep it. I really don't want to let go of it. This is my hardest decision.
Love how realistic this advice is and how real you are in sharing it! Knowing that even people farther along in their decluttering journey still have things to work through is very comforting. Thank you for sharing. ❤
I love your energy and relatability! Keep it up gurl!❤. Ok hold up! I just got to the part about your parent’s stuff!! My mom passed when I was in my 20s, my dad in my 40s, my office is literally cluttered with ALL of their stuff?!!! IDK what to do with it!! I love it! Some of it is literal treasure!! I’m trying to clean up!! Thank you for this post! Very timely
I struggled with decluttering all my life. Nothing seemed to help. Until one day, when I just realized what I had was an unhealthy attachment to... useless stuff. To be honest, it was almost like a spiritual awakening. Why was I so attached to all that stuff? It was worthless and I always wasted energy trying to organize it, to find new ways of storing it. I was a slave to my own junk. Useless, insignificant objects that I couldn't throw away because I was too emotionally tied to. For example, I had so so many things from my grandparents who passed away. Why did I need so many of them? Were my memories of them depending on objects? Would giving up that stuff mean I would forget they ever existed? Obviously not. So I ended up only keeping my grandma's earrings and grandpa's mug. That's it. I had tons of newspapers and magazines that I kept with the intention of using in my DIY projects, but I never got the time to actually do those projects. I kept telling myself I HAVE to keep them and use them somehow because it's recycling and it's a good thing. It actually added a lot of pressure on me because every day I saw them was another day I would blame myself for not DIYing. Sooo toxic. Eventually I just gave them to a recycling company. It's still recycling, I don't have to do the entire process myself. It's honestly the best feeling ever. To finally understand that stuff is just stuff, unimportant, and I am above it. I am the one that matters.
How freeing to no longer be a slave to "stuff". It's amazing how when we finally let go, we realize how much these things that we thought were so vital were actually only serving to hold us back- plus we don't even miss them when they're gone. Yes, you are the one that matters! So happy for you!!!
Hi Kristi, ive seen so many decclutering videos. Im a level 3 and it gets harder and harder. I wish i would be strong enough to say enough is enough. It's that ive gone Marie Kondo style a lot of times that i get upset when i get rid of things i actually will want to use in the future. I do not like to waste money like that or any otherway. Another thing is the sentimental part of it. Most of the things i have are memories of when my children were babies, growing up like pictures and items they have made for me as gifts. They are grown and on their own so these items help me not feel lonely. Im a senior and seniors know what im talking about. That is why its so hard of getting rid of most of my things. However, the questions you have giving us for us to ask ourselves might help me to finally get rid of the rest of the things. Thank you and will keep you posted in my decclutering journey.
Please do! I have stopped looking at it as wasting money bc the money is already spent and it is no longer adding value to my life. I made a follow up video that I think will really speak to what it sounds like you’re dealing with. Watch it and let me know your thoughts. ua-cam.com/video/Dyuy3vAbhlA/v-deo.htmlsi=bwmlCtXLf7yA6OBH
Thank you for this. I’m definitely a stage two hoarder and working on clearing out my house. I actually now love throwing stuff away. I just have a whole lot of stuff so it takes time but I’m on my way.
Thanks for this. I have a storage unit too. I could have built a temperature controlled storage building in my mom’s backyard with the money I’ve spent on rent. When I moved in, my brothers and mom said she would only be around a couple more years and then I would need my stuff again. But apparently my mom isn’t going anywhere soon. She’s nearly 92 now. My brothers have both died and so now it’s just me and mom and a huge storage unit. And I’ve cluttered her house as well. Sheesh! Mail is a huge thing for me too. Good suggestion to start with that. Easy peasy…right? Jan
@@kristidoingthings that’s a problem. I see the whole pile and don’t know where to start, but since I can only do one thing at a time, that’s where I should start. 👍
Brilliant! 🌟 I've watched countless decluttering videos, none of which have touched the mental & emotional challenges (overwhelm, guilt, grief, etc) holding us back from a tidy life. Your process is 👏 brilliant: a navigation guide for balancing emotional attachment & logic. Decluttering truly starts within the mindspace. Thank you for that epiphany & for sharing your approach.
Aww, thanks so much!!! I haven't watched much (actually any) decluttering content but I knew how it felt for me. I am so happy that it resonated and has been helpful!
Hey loves! If you're trying to figure our where to start so that it doesn't feel overwhelming, this video shares EXACTLY what I did: ua-cam.com/video/mFIqMyN6FHI/v-deo.htmlsi=EoiHxmFVe0JVnZer
As a guy i have a 6 months rule if i dont use a item or object in 6 months it goes if im not sure ill pack it in a cupboard for future removals but still usable when needed if i dont use that the next 6 months it goes to the bin. My problem is despite me not having anything or care to horde stuff the rest of the family will think hey i might use this one day and keeps everything. Even the clothes i have 7 identical pants and 7 similar tops it is less then a 1/4 of space hanging the rest is the wifes clotes and half of that she is too big for and keep saying it will fit if i lose weight... I did my part i can only bring a horse to water short from drowning it i cant make it drink.
To Kristi or any of her followers: If any of you know of a UA-camr that addresses the following, please let me know. I noticed almost all decluttering UA-camrs show how to get rid of stuff when it's attained through the same mindset: simply buying more than you get rid off. This video being a prime example. That's not the problem with members of my family. This is just my theory, but the mindset we're dealing with seems to come from (and been "handed down" from) the Great Depression Era. There's a sense of keeping anything that's not trash because it could be used for something else. Back in an era when most families did that because it wasn't a throw away economy and they also couldn't afford to just buy everything. One example being cleaning out and saving butter tubs because Tupperware was still expensive decades ago. Anyway, that mindset seems to have a rock solid hold, because the various households of my relatives can afford things just fine. I messaged a couple decluttering people, but with millions of followers, I've decided to start putting this comment on every UA-camr/Tiktoker, hoping one of them or a follower can direct me to the correct video/person. Thank you.
@@catapultedwizard4810 I can be an emotional/practical pack rat for sure. I'll spare the stories but it started when I realized I would be happier if I made a 1 item rule. I have 1 item and 1 photo of every loved one who has passed on. Then a couple years ago I oddly started keeping glass jars (?!) I told myself I can have 1 box of nice, clean jars in the garage and from time to time I do go out there and pull out one to use and then I replace it. I had to ask myself why would I need to hold on to more extras when I have never needed the whole box at once? Maybe that concept would help with the Tupperware issue? OR are they not using the "good" plastic ones because they don't want them to get stained and ugly? Are glass ones too heavy for arthritic hands? I mean, if you think about it cool whip containers are the perfect answer to both of those issues?
NOW, could someone please tell me how to deal with the 40 LB MixMaster that gets used once a year to make the family's NY cheesecake recipe? A recipe that is neither good for my waistline nor my wallet but it's one of the last traditions I have kept - and memories DO tie us to happy times in the past. Not to mention there is such a feeling of accomplishment when I pull this creation out of the oven. Yup. In the pantry it stays. LOL.
@@catapultedwizard4810 I don't know a video about it, but I do know that everything comes with a mental load. The object has to justify not only the mental load but also any stress it might cause to your relationships.
My husband's family has a belief that we can only have a finite number of relationships in our lifetime and relationships we have with objects are relationships we cannot have with people instead. Perhaps adopting this idea for a trial period might help? It worked well for me.
I started saving nice things "for the future" when I was about 25 years old. I'm now almost 70 and I haven't used that stuff! So I'm asking myself, how old do I think I have to be before it's ok to use the nice things?
I would say it’s time to start using all your nice stuff!!! ❤️
Use it now. Get rid of your boring stuff.
Omg this is me too, I hear you. Looks like we are looking for a perfect version of ourselves. We need to enjoy our things, tomorrow is not assured❤
Use the stuff you love and give the stuff that no longer work for you for someone else will want and bring them joy❤
I used to have that same issue. I wasted so much money and time shopping for things I never used. I now only buy things I plan on using in the present bc tomorrow isn’t promised.
My grandmother would buy nice things and put them away. She would buy sheets and towels and put them in a trunk never to be used. We always had the same sheets for months on our bed, of course, they were washed once a week, but she never used the new sheets or put out the good towels and face cloths. When she passed, all that stuff was so old that it almost disintegrated upon touching it. I found that I was doing the same thing until my husband pointed it out to me that I was buying nice dishes and towels and other things only not to be used. Now, I buy things for my house and myself and use it immediately. Life is short, what are you saving those things for? Someone to find after your departure only to either use it themselves or give it to the goodwill or someone else.
I’ve seen a few of these stories and it’s wild that we do that. It makes me sad to think we can go our whole lives never actually enjoying the moment bc we “save it for later”.
This is me. I use some, but I have a LOT of unused/ muultiple items
Really like the info this speaker is relaying. She doesn't ignore the psychological factor. Many decluttering speakers ive listened to don't address the psychological aspects beyond a tiny amount. It's important to include possible mental blocks we declutterer people often have. And then implement the ways we can effectively and sensitively work through them. I can think of several things right now, which Ive been unable to let go of until now. Successful reworking of outlook thanks to this speaker. I'm very grateful.
This mind set also comes from poverty, never having enough, or thought of it will keep you buying things just to say you can, and never use it 🙏🏾😢❤it was in my family too.
@@NoLaGurl18 My stockpiling really started during covid, being bored at home, shopping online and getting great deals. I thought everything would be a great gift at Christmas, but only gifted a small percentage, or had way more than needed. The bottom line for me is not to leave all this stuff for my kids to deal with, when they will already be dealing with so many other emotions; to not be a burden to my children. This mindset has really helped my perspective on so much stuff- keepsakes, family items and all.
COVID taught me to use my nice things, use my Christmas coffee cups year round, and wear my best clothes I save for special occasions without there being a special occasion. Life can be taken so quickly.
This is good.
Amen sis
Every day is a special occasion!! It's the only day that matters. Good for you for making that change and enjoying your nice things whenever you want.
This is so true!
@@pruzzilla3771 Some people think it's weird to have nice things without an occasion or without "earning" them. You're right; surviving can be a feat that warrants celebrating. (Why else would we celebrate birthdays, anyway?)
The hoarder in me: "Maybe my house is just too small" 😂😂
Haha lol that's me too !!!😅
🤣🤣🤣 Um…no, lol
In all fairness, we are having that issue too.
This is Me! 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
Declutter book Declutter at the Speed of life talks about this and using the container concept
My favorite question to ask is, "how would I feel if this spontaneously combusted?' If I wouldn't be sorry (or if I'd be secretly glad) then that item should probably go.
Love this!!!!
Similarly, when in doubt about a piece of clothing, I think: if I spotted a stain or a tiny hole in this, would I be relieved to have a reason to get rid of the object, or do I love it enough to keep wearing or try to repair it? On a gut level, you know what you really love.
This is fantastic! Thank you!
I remember feeling relief when a dish smashed as I was sorting out the kitchen (getting ready to declutter). That made me realise how much I wanted to let stuff go and made it easier to get rid of things. I still need to make another pass over the contents of my kitchen cupboards, but I'm pleased with how much I've let go and donated to charity already.
I found myself envious of the people who lost their homes in the fire in a nearby town. Now what does that tell you?!
I finally decluttered only to realize that my home was still a mess because I have too many friends who are hoarders and have gotten into the habit of storing their stuff at my place. Seriously, I have entire rooms I can't use, and people refuse to get their stuff for years while expecting me to store them for free. It's actually costing me a few hundred dollars a year to cope with not being able to use entire rooms of my house.
This New Year's Day I let everyone storing their trash at my house have two months' notice that I'll be disposing of it. One person got mad at me for being petty since I have such a big house, so I explained that I wasn't going to start charging them a storage fee. Another told me to sell his stuff and give him the money, but I refused to take a volunteer position when my time is already spoken for...by me.
I feel much better now, and although I'm sure I'm going to hear more about it I don't see that I have any legal obligation to care anymore when they can't be bothered to care either.
I have a similar situation. My garage and storage room are full of all of my grown children's stuff. I like the solution you've come up with and am going to present it to my kids (27-43 yrs old)
@@saundraandrade9019 It will make you unpopular for a little while, but it demonstrates the self-respect essential for respect for others. I can tell you from personal experience, though, that children sometimes don't realize how much we're imposing on our parents. My parents responded in kind by bringing a box of my baby clothes I didn't even know was stashed at their home and giving it to me as a birthday present. My husband was ticked, but it made me happy because I realized that they understood how ridiculous the situation is. I want to enjoy their company, not be a burden.
Yes to this. My mom’s friend left a couple of boxes of stuff at my mom’s house for a decade and I was like if she hasn’t needed it by now then she doesn’t need it and it got trashed when we moved my mom.
I firmly believe that while we help others, you also gotta do what works for you! Can't love others well if you aren't loving yourself- and getting your space functioning for you is a form of self-love.
Sell my things and give me the money 😂😂😂😂😂 somebody went to Costco and bought the audacity in BULK
I just turned 76, I decided to finally use all my finery I collected over 40 years from sets of 24k gold rim fine bone china from England to sterling silver picture frames, limited addition Lalique perfume bottles ( for my $30 perfumes from Target 😂, ) crystal vases for my handpicked flowers on my nature walk, 18 century silver handheld mirror to pluck my eyebrows, 1930 silver bridal flower basket for all my incoming mails & bills to be paid, antique Italian lace tablecloth etc. Those were some of my NICE THINGS passionate collectibles for years carefully wrapped in my cedar hope chest waiting for that someday, some special occasions, (in case the Pope or Queen Elizabeth 😂😂 happened to drop by my humble home for a visit) but today I finally decided that ‘my everyday’ is a special occasion, so I started to use them daily and it brought me so much JOY! One day I’ll sell them or gift them to people that deserve them. 🎉🎉 they’ll find other loving homes.
Everyday is a special occasion!! Love this so much!
Lol I purchased a 24k hostess set for my mom and her two sisters- my mom always used hers during the holidays. Anyway my cousin was having a five year anniversary at her moms house and my mom asked my aunt (her sis) if she was going to use her hostess set and she said no 😢my aunt has since passed on, and nobody knows what happened to that set 🤔
It must be so cool to use all your special treasures every day!
What's your address? Just curious! Hahah jkjk
@@lotus_puppylol 😅 lets all have a civilized tea party in the midst of world chaos. Shoot, why not?! 😂
"No matter where we are in life, no matter our age, we are just in time to live the life of our dreams."
I LOVE this sentiment!
Thank you!!! It’s my life affirmation! 🤗
THIS!! Caused me to IMMEDIATELY subscribe and click on the notifications button!
I ❤that sentiment,too
YES!🩷
Same!!❤
Great tips about getting rid of deceased family members' things. The stuff makes me feel sad and that's a great reason to simply get rid of it. Thank you! And yes, they've been gone for 20+ years now. Again, thank you so much!
Aww, you're so welcome!
Bring the family to go through maybe? I know that I don’t need my mom to keep all my grandmothers things for me for the future- I can look through right now, and choose the heirlooms that call to me specifically. That way I have things hers that holds meaning for me as a person…and nothing more 💜
I’m just gonna say. Birthday cards is what I love I kept now. My grandparents died and that is mainly what I have left over from them talking to me directly their handwriting and words they actually chose for me as I can feel like I can read that and have them there with me for a moment. I’d think long and hard before throwing away letters from family and people you’ll always love and miss
Love this! Definitely don't think that things you still go back to are clutter- especially not hand written notes. Keep those memories!!! I was talking about the stuff that we have no attachment to and don't know why we're holding on to it. 💕
This is my weakness, I can’t get rid of cards, pictures or obituaries 😢
Those are the hardest to get rid of but the photo idea is a good one as paper and ink fade with time.
I wish I'd realized this... what a wonderful way to keep them close.
I totally get your thoughts! I took my grandmother cards and ones given to my mother and aunt by my grandmother cut the important words out and part of picture I liked and glued a collage onto an plain box from Hobby Lobby and gifted it back to them. They were amazed and grateful. Now the cards can be ‘seen’ and have a useful purpose. Cheers!
Girl, I just donated my dad's tuxedo a few weeks ago. He's been gone almost 25 years. I kept one of his sweaters and I use his old scissors and shears when I sew. Those things make me feel close to him. The rest didn't. My mom - I kept her nurse's cape and a housedress she used to love hanging out in. Those two things make me feel close to her, and celebrate who she was. But it takes time to realize what those few things are and pare down the rest.
Love this! It sometimes takes a while to figure out what is most valuable to us.
Same here, I kept three clothing items of my dad. I may add them to a quilt. I also saw someone make an apron out of her dads dress shirt.
THANK YOU GIRL
hubby of 49+ years moved to Heaven 2
1/2 yrs ago. Moved from 2 bed/2 bathroom and large garage with his maintenance Shop with stacks of wood on his side/ my supplies for crafts/tutoring/drawing and chalk-acrylic At projects... Writing supplies/ Hosp Pro Med Caring Clown costumes and supplies
Sewing supplies... Whew !!!
Moved into Senior Housing security Hotel ONE BEDROOM...YEP... You get pic.
Two seniors helping with move suggested "just renting smallest 5x5 TEMPOARILY"of boxes too tough to go thru "because might need some day".
Well... When Good Lord asked a simple question, " how long been since you've looked here?)
Over year. Justify
""But it's onlY $63"
YES... COULDN'T THAT ANY N BE BETTER USED TO BUILD PERMANENT KINGDOM ABOVE?
WHEN I'D FREALIZED ID SPENT CLOSE TO$1,000.00...I was sick to my stomach.
Thanks for your kind questions and layered concept.
Gratefully for your vulnerability!
@@lisapalmer4059 we did this also. There were 5 girls, we each got a different pattern. Plus with extra fabric we cut into hearts and put into a picture frame with our favorite picture. So each daughter got an apron, a wine bottle holder made from the sleeve & a picture.
This is me. By time I get a day off I attempt to start to declutter/organize. I stare-eat-walk dog-sleep. I get tired just by the thought of where to start.
Take one drawer in any room of the house. Pull up a garbage can and a chair. Open the drawer. Why is all of that trash in there. Throw out trash and reorganize. Move to the next little thing that won't take long to do. Proceed another small drawer. Repeat as often as you'd like.😊❤❤❤
And do NOT beat yourself up about anything. You'll feel so good from cleaning up one drawer that it gives you the momentum to continue.
I'm in the middle of it right now, and I'm loving the lifting of heaviness that lifts more and more off of my shoulders with every single drawer/cabinet/closet I declutter and rearrange.
May GOD continue to bless you, my friend.❤❤❤
This!!!
@reginagrayson2465 said exactly what I was going to say! You gotta start somewhere. Doesn’t need to be big but just “show up”. 🫶🏽
This is absolutely me!😕 I told my family that I wasn’t going to travel this year, so I could get my houses in order, and it’s August, and it pretty much looks the same that it did back in November, when I said it!😢 I get tired and overwhelmed thinking about where to start. Then when I do, sometimes I think I make things worse…it’s depressing.😞🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
it doesn't matter where you start. You could literally flip a coin to decide where you start. also you can spend minimal time like 15 minutes a day. even 2 minutes a day!
I’ve been decluttering for well over 10years. Started as merging two households into one and then purging what we don’t need, etc. I started to hardcore declutter about 5years ago when I realized I still couldn’t keep up with the house work. I’ve had two key takeaways - first I needed to find my “clutter threshold” and second, I realized I was buying things to “temporarily fill a need” instead of just buying the better item up front. So I was never truly happy with what I owned. Now I buy with intention. If I have to wait a little longer, so be it.
This is SOO good!
Yes!!!
I extend my most sincere condolences for the loss of your parents.
Thank you for mentioning why you kept their belongings in storage. It has been three years since losing my mom in law. I had a very hard time parting with her things, and my late father in laws things as it was like losing them all over again or like disrespecting them by letting their belongings go. I realize it is okay to let someone else enjoy the pieces, whether furniture, knickknacks, or clothing. I also realize I have to have my own things around me, which align with who I am and not live "in someone else's house, living someone else's life."
It has taken over three years to unload three storage units and to clear out my own house but I am 90 percent done and I am starting to feel like my old self again. The time it took to fuss with all the stuff was overwhelming, time consuming and depressing.
That’s a lot of loss. I lost my mother 10 years ago (I was 35 and her passing was unexpected). I found that it put things in perspective for me. If I can live without my own mother, I can live without mere possessions. It’s been a good reminder as my children get older as well, and the pull of their artwork and baby clothing feels overwhelming.
Thank you and condolences on your loss as well. 💜 The trauma of loss really does a number on our sense of reasoning.
I have come to terms with that realization as well that letting their stuff go doesn't equate to letting them go. I think I always knew that mentally, but my heart/healing had to catch up with it. But it has been a weight and it's time to fully heal. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
That's such a good and healthy way to look at it! It's always amazing to me to see how differently we all process grief. 💜
@@katiejon17wow-this is a super powerful way of thinking about things. My mind is kind of blown because I’ve listened to SO many decluttering videos/podcasts/audiobooks etc, and not a single person has ever mentioned this, which is surprising. I’m sorry for your loss, but think it’s amazing that you were able to come to what I consider a pretty profound realization, that I want to thank you for sharing x100000. I’m lucky enough to still have my parents with me, but have been struggling with clutter/overwhelm for as long as I’ve lived on my own. I’m also very ADHD, which certainly doesn’t help things-but I spent SO much time just LOOKING for things….and now I’m thinking about my parents’ ages and how that wasted time looking for things-and honestly, the time spent wasted due to the overwhelm caused by clutter (which makes cleaning much harder and a longer process!).
So you’ve kind of lit me up and inspired me to be ruthless in my decluttering-which luckily I’d already planned on doing for half of today!
Thanks again for sharing your wisdom!
@@Hmy8799 I’m happy it helped! I shut down my YT channel a few years ago and I’m toying with getting it back up. There’s so much discussion for all of us to have. And certainly when we choose to live minimally, our finances also improve without even trying. ❤
Great advice. I have gone through layers of cleaning our over decades. I’m almost 60. Raised 6 children. Married 20 yrs. I like what you have to say here. One category I made up was “props.” This is the delusional category. Hahahaha Things we keep for a life we don’t actually have. I had some home bread making things. I was never going to use them, but I saw myself as a home made bread maker. Lol it was this weird glass tube for long, thin loaves and some other things. I do make home made bread occasionally. A regular bread pan is fine. I didn’t need all this extra things way back when our small house was over crowded. I don’t miss it at all.
Sounds like you've made SOOO much progress! Congrats! 🤗
I just found your channel today. I've already listened to this post twice, and I know I will be listening to it again. My best "Aha!" moment came when I listened to Dana K White's channel, and she explained her "container" definition. definition. Your house is a container. It has a limited size and volume. Then she breaks it down even further. Each room in your house is a container. Each closet, drawer, shoebox is a container. You can only fill each container with the amount of stuff that fills that space. Whatever does not fit must find another home, be donated, or trashed. I'm paraphrasing quite a bit, but once I got that I could not just keep stuffing my containers to overflowing, it became easier to pick out what was most important to me to keep in that container. Six trashbags of clothes were, quickly, donated. It's still a slow process for me, but it's getting better and easier. Good luck to everyone going through this process.
That is a really brilliant strategy! Thank you so much for breaking it down. Glad you found the channel! 😉
Yes!!!! My mom passed away in my late twenties. I felt like I was obligated to hold on to her things: 1- because mamaaaa!!! 😭and 2- as the only girl in the family I was expected to be the Chief Mama Memory Protector. 🙄 So it was really hard to declutter her things. ON TOP OF THE FACT that she was the family historian and the eldest daughter of the daughter! So she had her things, granny and pawpaws things, my brothers things, ALL THE THINGS!
C L U T T E R - C I T Y
It was hard but I made a lot of headway. Still a journey tho... Thank you so much for your videos!
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's a shared bond that none of us really want to have but helps us to understand what each other is going through.
Wow!!! Yes, that's a lot. Being the one who feels duty-bound to manage all of the memories is quite a heavy load. So proud that you've made some headway!!!
Someone told me "other peoples stuff is not your burden"...it helped so much dealing with all my mums stuff after she passed. I still have a few things I need to let go...a few bits of antique furniture I have no space for. They will go, I'd rather someone else get use of them than they collect dust, take up space in my mind and home. ♥️
Whew thank you because I'm both you and your mama. My brothers didn't help with anything and they are 10+ years older than me. I started asking my family if they wanted certain memories and trinkets and now I'm trying to digitize things so that others have access to them and I don't leave my future children with the burden that was left on me.
That’s a lot of responsibility. I hope you can delegate some to brothers if you still have too much
I’m 60 and don’t want to leave a mess for my children, I’ve been widowed 4 years and have 2 special daughters who will be with me until I die. I not only want but need to de clutter! I feel like my stuff controls me! I am happy I found your page.
I'm so glad you're here. It can be really difficult to let stuff go, but we have to push ourselves to do it. Take small steps toward it if you need to. I just did this video as a follow up and I think it'll be helpful. ua-cam.com/video/Dyuy3vAbhlA/v-deo.html
@@kristidoingthings
I certainly hear what your saying, l don’t want to leave a bunch of stuff behind for my family, l have stuff packed in storage boxes,its memorabilia so they can keep what they want or get rid of it.
I started watching this on my tv but came to my phone to comment. I’m about 5 minutes into the video. When you said something about your marriage, I quickly thought “oh she’s married very young” nothing too deep, just a quick thought. Then you said you’re 43 and my mind is blown! Girl what?! You barely, barely look 25! 💕💕💕
🥹This is too sweet, thank you so much! Yes, girl- I am grown, grown!!! 😂
Hi, I agree with you! I had a similar reaction to her and her appearance. I thought she MUST be very young. Then she told us her age, and I was astonished! She looks quite young and lovely. Her skin is great and her complexion is flawless. Her teeth are gorgeous, too. (I am quite jealous.)
My first reaction was wow, this woman has it together and how beautiful she is. Look at that smile, it’s perfect. And he skin! What a beautiful soul to get to the essence of a problem and give us a pathway to solve it.
It don't Crack! Lolol I'm 5'1, 116 lbs andmy 13 year old is more developed and taller than me (and I have 4 other children). When I tell them I'm in my 30s they're like, "Oh.." 😂😂 always thinking I'm 12 😭😭
Incredible looking woman, agreed!!
I don’t know if they have done studies on this but I strongly suspect that grief or trauma may very well be the main cause for hoarding behaviour. I was never hoarder until certain things happened in my life and then I suddenly started hoarding and found it so hard to stop!
I'm not sure either, but I suspect you're right. Hmmm...now you're gonna lead me down a research rabbit hole, lol!
I watch the show hoarders. And this revelation is true for many of the hoarders on the show .
Losing everything in a fire: Being without anything and starting from scratch could turn anyone into, at least, a little bit of a hoarder.
I recently lost 123lbs. I’m currently in the process of moving. I just rid of a construction size bag of clothes that I really loved or never got to wear. I kept them thinking that I can tailor them, but it would basically be reconstructing a whole new garment. I had to remind myself that I now have the opportunity to enjoy the clothes that actually fit me now.
I moved from size 1x, then 16, 14, now 10-12
These clothes are too good for Goodwill. Looked around at church, assistant yoyth pastor is a vit larger than I, so two shopping bags and handful of things on hangers, she'll save $$$ and I have space.
Congratulations
Congratulations!!! That's so inspiring! Sounds like you are enjoying a whole new life!💜
I’m proud of you! I know your health is better because of what you’ve accomplished (physical and emotional).
Congratulations
Something my DinL OFTEN says when she visits my house is, "your house is so peaceful." I believe what she's really noticing is the clean kitchen surfaces, the lack of clutter throughout & the calming effect created by having an easily maintained home. It pleases me, for her, that she has found a place of respite. ♡
Clean is so peaceful!
Now THIS, right here, has inspired me. My grandsons come over, and they LOVE it here because our house is bigger, but also, comparatively clear and neat.
However, 26 years has taken a toll, and I really MUST get RID of some of the accumulated stuff. I have my daughter's prom dress from when she was 16! (She's the one with the kids.) I have instruments and board games that will never be played, clothes that will never be worn, dishes that are "too nice" to use, art supplies that will never become anything more, and I'm really ready to divest myself of all of the mental "weight" of it.
Doing this for my mother. She has been doing this for other people and family. She deserves an uncluttered safe space.
Awww, I love this! 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽
Very hard to do it for your parents, unless they are ready to make a change. Though, most elders don’t think clutter is not healthy 😕
I rent a bedroom from this lady I met on Craigslist. I tell people not to give me gifts because I have no space. I’ve had several people tell me I should get a storage room… so I would then be paying interest on items I bought that I’m saving to use? I tell people to give me portrait picture of them. Nobody does that anymore. But a photo to cherish when your old and people have moved on is priceless, and it fits nicely in an album.
It's really wise of you to prioritize space and focus on what truly matters, especially when living in a rented room. Photos can hold so much value, capturing memories and relationships without taking up much room. It’s a beautiful way to cherish the people in your life and create lasting memories. Sounds like you've found a meaningful way to live simply and thoughtfully!
#3 Layer is also a key to spending money wisely. Discovering how much you buy for your ideal or fantasy self but don’t actually use is a real eye opener.
I lived in St. Louis. Loved it!
Oh my goodness, yes- that is SUCH and eye-opener! Also made me realize I wasn't treating myself the way that I deserved.
St. Louis is a fun, undercover gem!
I would love to visit sometime. But my driving abilities is limited, so am too skittish to get on the highway needed to get there, cannot afford to fly or Greyhound, as for the train, I would got to go 5 hours north then shoot hours back south.
Maybe one day. Would love it if at least can go to the mall with my baby boy who can handle the highway driving.
THIS IS GOOD. ESPECIALLY THE QUESTIONS. I TELL PEOPLE THAT DECLUTTERING IS A PROCESS THAT MUST BE DONE IN BITE SIZE PIECES OR THEY WILL GET OVERWHELMED AND STOP ALTOGETHER. MANY FEEL BAD BECAUSE THEY KNOW IT NEEDS TO BE DONE BUT THEY DON’T HAVE THE ENERGY TO DO IT. ONE MUST HAVE A STRATEGY, A TIMELINE, AND EITHER AN AUDIOBOOK OR SOME GOOD MUSIC TO SET THE ATMOSPHERE SO THEY CAN GET THAT ONE CORNER OR THAT ONE BOX DONE TODAY. THANK YOU. 😊😊😊😊😊
Yes!!! A little bit at a time works wonders!
My husband recently passed away. He bought our home when he was 19 yrs old. And he did not believe in throwing stuff away. It's was a nightmare for me to get rid of 45 yrs of stuff some which he hadn't used since the 70's. I found two denim bell bottom suits. Suits !! 😂😂. It's taken me months to delete it all. Don't leave stuff behind for your loved ones. It's hard enough to grieve and no one needs to be stuck with your mess. ❤❤
I’m so sorry for your loss. And wow, it’s seems you have a really healthy ability to detach the stuff from his memory. ❤️ Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom.
I’m so sorry for your loss. My husband passed away a few months ago also, and I need to get rid of most of his clothing, so I can have more closet space, which tells me that I definitely should go through my things too!
@@marthasousa2001 awww. Thanks. You as well. Bless. Yeah. It's a good time as you move forward to clear the nest.
@@kristidoingthings I kept the most sentimental things for sure. The small things he used everyday. But I'm lucky I had no sentiment towards his clothes and tools and other things. But I had no choice. I couldn't keep the house and had to sell it quickly. And it sold the day it went in the market. I know how hard that is for so many spouses tho.
....this!!!
Thank you for your authenticity in sharing your home and talking about your parents’ things.
💜
The taking a picture idea is a superwoman level solution. 💪
Take pictures and then print them on photo paper or regular printer paper. Put them in a photo album and write a little blurb or the story of the memory with the date of each experience.
Then, you really can let go of the actual item. The memory is what is important. 🥰
♥️ ♥️ ♥️
Love this!
This. The hardest thing for me to get rid of has been my son's stuff from when he was a kid. This is going to help me break through today. Thank You! 🙏🏽💙💙💙💙💜🌎🕊️
Also take before and after photo of each area as you are working on declutter.
I'm so pleased you told us that the background was staged and showed us the moving imperfection. Love it! So much more relatable.
I'm so glad that it was helpful to you! ♥️
I have had the honor of cleaning out the homes of four loved ones who have passed away, I also helped my best friend clean out her mother's items. I've only kept some of my mom's items. Like the blazer she would wear. It's soothing for me. I walk into the closet, hug it, and tell her that I love and miss her. I have three pieces of furniture of hers in the garage. They have been there for four years. I wanted to reupholster two single chairs. They're about 45 yrs. old. If I'm completely honest with myself, I'm not going to do it. Besides my mother's items, I have so many things that I need to get rid of. Your video has helped me to begin the journey of decluttering. I know I will experience pain, joy, crying, laughing, headaches, and finally a great relief when it's all done. Thank you so much for this video. I stumbled upon it. I don't believe in coincidence. God brings things to our lives at the right time to make changes for the better. Blessings to you and yours.
Thank you for sharing your experience; it sounds both profound and emotional. It's beautiful that you’ve kept certain items from your mom as a way to feel connected to her. I do the same. Starting the decluttering process is a big step, and it’s great that you’re ready to embrace the mix of emotions that will come with it. It’s all part of honoring those memories while making space for new ones. I truly believe that finding your way to this video was meant to help you take that journey. Wishing you strength and peace as you move forward-blessings to you as well! 😘
"WE ARE JUST IN TIME FOR OUR DREAMS" wow first time watcher and already in love!
🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽 Thank you!!!
This sounds like me. However, I turned 57 a month ago and promised my self this is the end of that tradition. I am going room by room and decluttering and going to enjoy the things I have. I look back at the living room furniture over the years that was never utilized, as well as the vehicles barely driven. I can’t believe I have accumulated so much stuff overtime. I am actually feeling overwhelmed, but I got this.🙏🏾🙏🏾
Yes, you've got this! I'm seeing you posted this comment a few weeks ago, so I have to ask- how's it going?!?!
“Where I am in my life, would I buy this? I LOVE that!! I’m in the process of moving and needed this.
So happy that it helped! ❤️
Yes, I have felt like a failure, can't get it together to sort out the mess for Years!! Some traumatic stuff with the family which led to this. I've been overwhelmed that it's just there, don't look, don't care but thinking I have to do something about it...all the time. For 3 years. Thanks for this video👍 🧡
Thank you so much for sharing this-it takes real courage to open up about feeling overwhelmed. First, let me say this loud and clear: You are not a failure. Life happens, and trauma, especially, can make it hard to face the “stuff” that piles up. It’s not just clutter-it’s the emotional weight attached to it, and that’s not something anyone should feel ashamed of. You’ve got this, and I’m cheering you on every step of the way! Thank you again for being here and for sharing your journey-you’re not alone in this. 🧡✨
"I will make sure this is not clutter by ____"
is so helpful and makes you really think about it!
Right?! I love asking myself this.
I realized I had a clothes hoarding problem when I got a stain on something and I felt relieved that I could get rid of it. It was out of my control, and for some reason, I just sighed and it felt good. One less thing to worry about. It can be so hard to get rid of things. I felt that if I got rid of something, it would be my fault that I was sad or that I missed it, and I understood that my problem extended from abandonment trauma, an obscured sense of self, and when my home caved in and I lost so much. I got clothes to try and feel good about myself, but materialistic things don't heal. You need to rid of stuff that distracts you from your true purpose. You need time to do more things other than constantly decluttering. You will feel good once you open up your time to more fulfilling things, you can do it! ❤
THIS!!!
Thank you for showing your real home in its real state.
🤣🤣🤣 Yes, it gets messy! That’s part of life.
Lao Tzu said, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” I say THANK GOD YOU MADE THIS VIDEO.
I am sitting in the chaos of boxes trying to pack to move… then avoiding that task by watching some UA-cam. Suddenly, you appeared.
I can’t tell you how much I needed to learn the practicality of this lesson. Thank you for the clarity of the questions, rather than just theory, so that I could IMPLEMENT this right now!!
Aww, thank you so much. I am so happy that it resonated with you. You found it when you were supposed to. I love when that happens!!!🤗
Girl, your decluttering system with layers and questions is 🔥! I haven't heard anyone else have a process like this. Looove it!
Thank you so much!!! I think a lot about the why of things and finally realized what had been holding me back.
I’ve been decluttering for about 2 years. It’s been getting so much easier now. I noticed that some things are harder than others to get rid of. My weak spot is all of my office/craft supplies
I hear you on the craft supplies! I’m a serious crafter! Have an entire room dedicated to the hobby. Nope not gonna do it! Lol
Lol, we can never have enough craft supplies...that we never use🫣😂😂
I, too, have a weakness for office supplies/stationary/crafts. 😂
Same! The main improvement I've made is to stop looking at stationary and crafting supplies, even when there's a sale :)
I thought I was going to need counseling to get rid of my craft supplies, but it turned out to be easier than I thought. I didn’t know about the layers then but looking back, I did go through the layers. I got rid of duplicates. I looked at what my current interest were, and got rid of items associated with crafts I no longer enjoyed or did. I got rid for old patterns with sizes that no longer fit & were outdated styles. For the sentimental stuff, I picked a spot and only allow myself to keep what would fit in the designated space. That made me decide what was really important to me. What made it easier was donating some supplies to teachers. Giving things to people that I knew would use and enjoy them. I sold some items, which put some money back in my pocket. When I start slipping, I remember my reason why, which was to make space for what I really enjoy. Now I’m realizing I need to watch the lack mentality-not wanting to throw things away because I could use it to make something. What can I say…I see treasures in trash. I own it. I just have to be mindful about that. If I’m not making anything with it…I don’t have a current project or use for it, I let it go so I don’t end up going down that rabbit hole.
Another component to this is donation. Donate the items you really can’t use that you know someone else would really love, but donate to a cause that is close to your heart for me It was donating to a local, battered women shelter, and a domestic violence, safe house, because I went through domestic violence, this gave me a sense of purpose and love.❤
So true. I really love this component of donating to places that mean something to you- makes it a lot easier 💜
Scout troop or small private preschool would be so happy with craft supplies.
We donate to a store whose profits go to our homeless shelter. 😊
I LOVE your layers!!! GREAT explanations of each!!!
For layer 4, I recommend if people have multiple items from a past away loved one(s) they are trying to declutter. Think of the memories the items bring up. Every life has its ups AND downs. So only keep a few of the items that bring up the VERY BEST memories of your loved one!
The Minimal Mom had a vid on UA-cam where she explained how she had these dolls as a child and she loved keeping them in pristine condition. Whenever her younger cousins came over she got anxious about some of her dolls bc of how they played with their own dolls, and wanted to hide them.
Then as an adult, her mother 1 day suddenly brought her the bin of all her childhood dolls for her own girls.
She looked at them and the happy memories were there as well as the anxious feelings about her cousins ruining them. Instead of giving them to her girls, she decided that she didn't want to see them in her house and think of those anxiety thoughts all the time whenever she see she kids playing with them, so she donated them to charity!
Much like my story of a person who broke into my house while I was sleeping...(long story cut out)... I never wanted to see that same bedroom again. I changed my entire bedroom from blue & green plaid to pink and white. I even got rid of my side table.
And the old bed set? I brought it to an animal shelter in a different city than the one that I volunteered at (just to make sure that I would never see it again!)
I love that! Keeping the very best memories!!! So often we only remember the good things and don't realize why we have mixed feelings about an item.
You just said the number one thing that we have a huge problem with in our home and that is mail. I had to pause the video and go and find a shredder and order it because I had been saying that I was going to order one so now I officially have one on the way. WHEW!!!
I’m 82 and have largely gotten through the first layer. Plenty of the second too but you sure right about the layers. I’ve digitised some, more to go. Great self questions. Thanks for your help. Funnily enough I finally got rid of some really great 36 size pants because I hadn’t lost weight. Then I did keto 5 years ago and have been buying 36 waist pants! At my age I appreciate irony.
It’s wonderful to hear you’re making progress through those layers! Digitizing can be such a game-changer. So funny about the pants!!! Thank you for sharing your journey 😊
I totally relate to this I have moved between MA and SC twice in the last 5 years. I have two storage units in MA. I finally said enough is ENOUGH. I booked a flight and took off work so I can spend 2-3 days clearing out my storage and moving on. These are great tips to get me thru it. Thank you ❤
Get it, girl!!! Love this!
I'm 68, and 20 yrs ago I learned from my older sister to "lose the love"... and " if you haven't used it in a yr " we got tired of cleaning up after our older loved ones passed away... now at 68 I no longer own 3 houses, and now everything I own fits in my small bedroom in my single daughter's 2 bedroom house, which we are house-sitting. No longer have credit card bills, mortgages, car payments... I craft and sell at craft fairs... it's wonderful.. Thank you sis for teaching me this 20 yrs ago.. It feels so liberating and satisfying that I won't leave my daughter a big mess. Don't get me wrong, I still have a box of memories..even childhood elementary school mementos, photos of events throughout my life, favorite movies, favorite books, they're my babies, and alot of yarn and craft supplies that I will forever use, but my room can be emptied out in 2 hours. It took years, and heartache, but it is worth it... very satisfying..
What a powerful journey you've had! It’s inspiring to hear how you’ve embraced minimalism and found such freedom in simplifying your life. Learning to “lose the love” for things that no longer serve you is a profound lesson, and it sounds like your sister’s wisdom has made a lasting impact. Being able to fit everything you own into one room speaks volumes about your growth and commitment to living intentionally. It’s also wonderful that you’ve kept those treasured memories and creative supplies-those are meaningful parts of your life that can bring joy and inspiration. You're not only setting a great example for your daughter but also creates a legacy of clarity and purpose. Thank you for sharing your story; it’s a beautiful reminder of how letting go can lead to a more fulfilling and satisfying life. 🌼
I'm at the "can I find it the next time I need it" stage. Everything needs its place.
Love this!
I’ve been saving things since 2005. I started selling all those things on eBay and Mercari during the pandemic. 400 listings and 2 garage sales later I’ve finally decluttered my life.
Woohoo!!! Congratulations!!! I imagine it feels SOOO good and freeing!
I sell on all the platforms and it’s taking awhile. I decided not to go back to my bargain stores.
You inspire me
I want to develop the bandwidth to sell on a platform. I just don’t feel right about donating anymore. I think I owe it time myself to try to recoup some money
@@marshahill3473 mercari, depop, ebay - great platforms!
When each of my parents (divorced) passed I found a folder of my letters, artwork, school report cards, hand made cards, tests with a gold star or high grade and newspapers of the day I was born and important events. My dad had a folder about him that my grandparents kept and the letters between them when my grandfather was a soldier in WWII. Going through this was heart warming during a time of great loss. The love I felt and the sense of the natural progression of life was much needed. I recommend not throwing them away.
What a beautiful treasure trove of love and history your parents and grandparents preserved for you! Those keepsakes are such powerful reminders of the connections we share across generations-thank you for sharing this heartfelt story and thoughtful advice. ❤️
Great video! If you need a little more incentive to declutter, calculate how much of your mortgage payment is spent each month for the space taken up by clutter. Say if you have a 1800 sq. ft. house and a $2000 mortgage you are paying $1.11 per month ($2000/1800) for each sq. ft. of your home. If you have a 12 x 12 ft. room full of clutter, that is 144 sq. ft. You are paying 144 x $1.11 = about $160 a month for that cluttered up space!
It’s too early in the morning for that much math 😂😂
Oooh, I love this!!! Really puts it in perspective...and, ouch!
😂😅
OMG I’m thinking you must be an engineer! LOL
@sharondalynnewton7562 Ha Ha! You caught me!
“I will make sure this doesn’t BECOME clutter by…” LOVE it
I work from home now & now i have to actively wear my clothes & jewlry but also acknowledge some stuff i don’t need anymore
It’s so easy to have the same outfits on rotation when we work from home!
Thanks for the advice. I am on a working on leveling up in life and I truly feel that my clutter is distracting and weighing me down. (Crazy but True)
Actually, it’s not crazy at all! I actually have another few videos talking about exactly that! Best wishes as you work to get rid of the clutter!
Not crazy at all!
Not crazy at all. I'm currently feeling the same way.
Same!! It can feel suffocating and causes me anxiety which is my motivation to go through the tough process.
You are the 1st declutter to PRECISELY identify my struggle. I am a master organizer. I can enter any room, closet, or garage overflowing with disordered piles of things, literally floor to ceiling, and put it in orderly intuitively labeled organizers - but my OWN treasures? …they’ve been hanging around.
You spoke to my needs. I subscribed!
Aww, so glad you’re here and that it helped! I truly believe we have to understand why we do things to get to the root of it.
I was re-reading your comment and thought about how I am also a really good organizer. I had so much less perfectly tucked away, and home so clean, but I knew there was stuff that needed hanging and could feel the weight of it. Best of luck as you continue your journey!
I feel so happy to know I'm not the only person sitting around trying to hand shred mail😂
😂
I use the garbage disposer. Get it super wet. Works like a charm
@@lindsaywells5225 very interesting 🤔 never thought about that
Another idea is, if you have a large plastic storage tub, fill with water & just toss them in. In time, they become mush. Then drain & toss out. You can also use it for mulch in your garden. Saves time without shredding/tearing. More time to declutter...lol..
@@TheChickenn08 I do that too!!! Then hand shred😂.....well if I can still see what's on them. That paper get heavy! But I never thought about the mulch in garden🤔 thanks for that little life hack.
Terrific tips that are actionable TODAY! Thank you, I’m so glad I found you on UA-cam!
I was having a hard time decluttering before a move and I can now see how subconsciously having to navigate these layers was killing progress. All that work underneath the surface really adds to the cognitive load of the task - but without realizing it. I was like, why am I so tired doing this?
Now I pick a room or area of the house and start by sorting the clutter into these four layers, and then tackle layer by layer for that area. Game changer.
Amazesome. Seriously.
I’ll add one bonus question to Layer 3: Would I clean poop off of it?
(Like if it fell in some dog s- or there was a freak toddler eruption in your house.)
If the answer is no, you can let it go. For me this is the fastest way to sort out how I feel about something and whether it deserves to take up space in my life. Now I just need a similar question to sort out people in my life …
Aww, so glad you're here! Getting to the root of it is SO important.
You hit the nail on the head when you said “you can be in multiple of these layers at the same time” and it’s which “layer the item falls into”, rather than which layer you are currently in. I’ve been decluttering for a few years now and I used to think I would get through the onion layers one at a time. It’s the object’s layer rather than the overall layer I think I’m in. Thank you for helping me to understand this more clearly ❤. Moving home is also a brilliant help to decluttering 😊
Moving definitely helps with declutterring- realizing you don’t want to take things into a new era of your life is so motivating. So happy it clarifies things for you ❤️
omg I love how fast you talk in this video. kept my adhd brain in attention mode! no faffing straight to the point thankyou
Hahaha!!! Thanks!
My husband passed in January. I’ve been trying to get myself through the decluttering process and I didn’t even realize I’m someone else now and that’s my block until your video. Thank you.
#Condolences
#1Thessalonians 4 13-18
Aww, I'm so sorry for your loss. I imagine it feels a bit overwhelming at times. Show yourself grace and don't try to do it all at once. Sending you love and hugs. 💜
I realize that less is more and I’ve been working periodically on decluttering, everywhere l look in this house is stuff, 50 towels, dishes etc- I’ve gotten rid of some things and don’t miss them at all. Real good video
Thanks for sharing!! It's wild when we realize how much stuff we've kept. So glad that it resonated with you. 😊
I could hear the emotion in your voice when you talked about losing your parents in your 20’s and saving their things and your memories. They must have been very beautiful people. It touched me.
i got so overwhelmed i got depressed and stopped my journey of decluttering which compounded it. Thanks for talking about the fourth layer , the heart. ,this explains why moving or geting rid of thing that were m y mom's was so very hard while onlookers kept saying you need ot get rid of all that. It felt like someone was ripping my heart out
Aww, I completely understand. It's incredibly painful when it feels like that is all we have left of our loved one. You'll know when it's time. 💜
This video is gold for me. Just got divorced, I have been living in this small 2-bedroom apartment and it is STACKED with pictures of all sizes, big and small, all occasions. Not to mention other handy items like the sewing machine and like you mentioned, there's games, kids' artwork, so aside from two fish tanks and that closet full of my clothes too, I got a whole bedroom that I cannot use because, memories.
Wow, sounds like you have just a few things to sort through. Don't overwhelm yourself. It's a fresh start to make things what you want them to be.
You hit me in the heart at 4:32 because I can totally relate. I am doing that same thing!!! My mom passed away in 2008…I know I know. And I cannot bring myself to throw somd stuff away.
Hear you!! I’m literally watching these coz I need to start removing my beloved Mum’s things, lost her 2020, and it’s freaking me out and ripping me up!!! How is it not cruel to pull apart what she spent 45 years collecting 🥺😭😭
@@krystalTiger I hear ya!!! My mom’s purse still in my closet. I can’t bring myself to throw it away….i feel like I’m throwing her away😩😩😩
@@positivechic1463 yes!!!!!!! Same. I haven’t even touched her underwear drawers, clothes, have her handbag, office and art. Nearly everything where she left it. And now my Dad is very ill and I need to move home and I can’t fit unless I start sorting her things and I’m freaking out!! 🥺😭😭😭😭😭. Everything has its place and her colour coordination and setup - but it doesn’t fit my needs or suit my taste, but it feels like a hug from her when I’m around it. It’s sooooooooo hard!!!
Aww...yeah, it is SOOO hard. 💜 But we do have to eventually determine what to keep and what to realize doesn't actually move us in the direction we want to go. But that doesn't make it easy.
Awww, I definitely feel you! Your loss is still so fresh. I'm sorry for your loss and for the pain you're feeling. Sending you so much love! 💜💜💜
Thank you for saying with Layer 4 - there’s no set time to release items. It’s good to hear from the perspective of someone that understands that an emotional loss is the hardest to deal with when trying to declutter.
❤️❤️❤️
I personally tried to change my shopping habits by instead of buying everything that i am interested in, i would take a picture of it and if i keep going back to that picture or can't stop thinking about it then i might actually buy it but it often results in me not buying it and helps me to keep my space.
Love this so much!!! Great idea!
Thank you, you have explained something that I have been searching for an answer to for a long time. I have items I have kept from when I was unwell and unable to do much at all, the fear of ending back there, has kept me from tossing these out. I cant bring myself to use these items because they bring back a mindset of depression, overwhelm and dread, yet I have kept these because they were my only source of comfort during that horrible time. Even now knowing what I need to do, tears are in my eyes because they are old friends. I think I will donate these items so if I ever find myself missing them I can at least think of other people getting enjoyment from them.
Again a massive thank you.
I’m so glad my message resonated with you! It’s completely understandable to feel a strong attachment to those items; they represent a difficult time, but also your resilience. Donating them is a beautiful way to honor that journey while also allowing yourself to move forward. It’s such a generous choice to think of others who might benefit from what you’ve held onto. Remember, it’s okay to feel emotional during this process-it’s a sign of your growth and healing. You’re doing an incredible job!
Thanks for the "questions" to ask ourselves. We are getting ready to move soon, ourselves.
When my husband and I got married, I put a tub in our utility room. I told him it was there and if there was anything he didn't want, need, like, used, or couldn't wear to put it in the bin. Once it got full I would be taking it to Goodwill. This still gave us a chance to "go back and get it" if we needed to. After 16 years, there has only been 1 time that he/I went back to get something out. He repurposed said item and is still using it today. 🙂
I REALLY like this idea!!! Thanks so much for sharing! Good luck on your move 😊
@@kristidoingthings Thanks! Hope you get settled in soon to your new place.🙂
I absolutely love this idea! Thank you so much for sharing it. ❤️😊
i took a huge tub of photos, art work, certificates, documents and scanned them all and put them on an external hard drive. A lot of work, but well worth it.
I need to do this too!!!
Me too, what a relief!!!!🤗
Same
The important thing is NOT to be alone in the process. Some folks don't have a support system n find themselves having to deal w/ the overwhelming mess on their own
Yes, free shredding days!! We have these every now and again, they are so helpful! Free!
Great video!
The best thing ever!!! Thank you much. 😊
“This is what we’re actually working with “ 😂😂😂thank your for showing what moving really looks like !! For being real !❤. Great video !!
🤣🤣🤣 Thank you!!!! Moving is UGLY!
Wow I needed to watch this because I have also been paying for a storage unit for going on over 6 years of stuff that was my dad's that passed away and holding on to it all because it's all I have left of him. I have been also hearing him and I's song lately and now seeing this after I was just thinking about what to do with all that stuff has just made me think it's ok to start not holding on to all that materialistic stuff and just keep the good memories and some small things to hold onto. Thank you ❤
I’m so glad this resonated with you-it sounds like such a deeply personal journey you’re on. It’s completely understandable to hold onto things that feel connected to your dad, especially since they’re a part of his memory for you. But it’s also beautiful that you’re realizing the memories and love you carry in your heart are what matter most. Starting small, like keeping a few meaningful items, can feel more manageable and still honor his legacy. Hearing your song and stumbling across this feels like such a gentle sign-you’re not alone in this. Sending you so much love as you take this step. ❤
I have a craft room that is taking over my life. I can’t get into it and when I do squeeze my way in there, I can’t create anything so after I heard your video, I took an Imaginary pencil and I split the room up into six imaginary parts and I’m going to start cleaning it as soon as I press the send button and thank you for sharing how to declutter. Pray for me I’m going in.😂😂😂 11:50
Hi? Are you still alive?
Yes, we all want to know how you made it out?!?!😂
What a brilliant way to divide up your space and start getting it in order.
🤣🤣🤣🤣 yes I’m alive but I have to be honest. I cleaned one corner of the room and started a mess on the other corner of the room but I’m still alive. I’m so sad. It’s funny. I am so sad that I can’t get this room clean.🤣🤣🤣
@@robinrice1540 😂😂
@@robinrice1540I need to do this too. And wanted to share that I am going to divide the hours spent in the room to clean and on what days. Hope that will help you as well.
Your layers make so much sense, this is my first time seeing your channel. The beginning pan with you and your husband made me laugh. My current stage of dealing with layers is the 4th layer. My father passed away 2 years ago, we had an estate sale but there were many items that the 3 of us kids wanted to keep. Some items we had no room for, so I moved them down to my work warehouse (I own a small business). This has allowed me time to get over the sentimental aspect of all these items. I have some in my home and coming to realize that some of the items I don't want and neither do my siblings. I have plenty of other things bringing nice memories and I am incorporating them into my decor. But having the place to put things has allowed me to deal with the sentimental stuff. Thank you for your clarity and sharing your journey to help the rest of us, you are a beautiful lady!
Thank you so much!!! I appreciate your kind words.
So sorry for your loss. It can be so hard to know exactly what to do with those belongings but it's good you're finding what you want and coming to terms with what you're willing to let go. 💛
Same, I love the truth shot. ❤ and you’re such a cute couple.
When my mother passed away at 91, my brother and I gave away her furniture and clothing to neighbors and charity. She had a 45 year old plant that my brother replanted in 4 pots and gave to siblings and cousins. Her knitted throws and some articles of clothing I made small throw pillows for my brother and grandchildren.
What a sweet video, so practical, too. Beautiful attitude. Well done.
I love the investigative questions, and giving deadlines to use the items. This helps me even more with my decluttering project. I am excited to jump back in. Thank you so much for this video!
🤗 Yay! I am so, so glad that you found it helpful!
Whew!! The first layer is ME with mail, but I honestly fit in layers 1 thru 3. I glad I've stumbled upon this video today because I've been thinking about decluttering for a while and this my PUSH to do so!!!!
Woohoo!!! You got this!!
I’m in love with your whole vibe, attitude, look, voice and presentation. You’ve found your best self and I’m here for it.
Aww, thank you so much!!! I appreciate this 😊
THANK YOU for addressing the "stuff" we inherited from our parents or others in our family. When my mom passed and my brother moved out of state, everything we couldn't sell ended up in my tiny house. There is so much furniture that isn't mine jammed in here, but it's been hard to donate it. I don't want it to be thrown away. If it doesn't sell in a certain time, they will throw it out and that's just wasteful.
Maybe post them on free cycle or craigslist for free.
What makes it hard to donate it?
@@kristidoingthings Most places won't accept furniture donations around here. I'm not sure why, but the St Vincent de Paul, the Goodwill and the local veteran's group charity shop won't accept furniture donations.
I thought about donating it to the local place that collects furniture for homeless people, but they want NEW furniture.
Hey! Don’t forget sometimes we hang onto things for positive vibes as well! Some folks have tshirts, socks, hats, etc. that they use as memories of fun events or times where they did something memorable. BUT, they are taking up unnecessary space. 10 shirts from The Bahamas!!!! 30 pair of Christmas socks???? Come on now! Let it go. Keep 1 or 2!
Very true!!!! Thanks for that reminder. I think that could fit in happy memories (layer 2). Hmmm…thoughts?
Agreed! BTW…we need to get rid of some cards!!!!! And some doggone tshirts!!!!! Grrrr. Round 4 of decluttering in the Patterson household! Kristi let’s do some things!
I have a t-shirt that was bought on holiday 44 years ago. I could just about squeeze into it, but I would never wear it and haven't since I was a teenager. I think it's time it went to the great rag pile in the sky!
I can’t imagine the difficulty in trying to let go of your parents’ belongings. I’m so sorry you lost them at such a young age. Sending lots of love and hugs your way.
Taking a picture is the main way I can get rid of tons of stuff. Great advice.
I love this video. I will definitely subscribe. Love your sense of humor at the beginning too! ❤😊
Thank you for your kind words and for subscribing. It means a lot, and I’m glad the advice resonates with you. We have a good time over here! Sending love and gratitude your way! 😊❤
This is so true! For me it often helps to do several passes of decluttering, basically working myself through the layers. If I'm really struggling I will even start with layer 0: trash. It's amazing in a pretty awful way how much stuff is literal trash (empty envelopes, candy wrappers, tubes of cream that are practically empty). Weeding that out already creates some breathing space and motivation to get to your actual belongings.
Soo, gotta ask- How's it going?! Have you gotten rid of the trash?
I have a problem with mail too (everything, but mail seems like it should be the easiest to conquer). There are stacks of paper everywhere. I can’t figure out what to keep sometimes. These types of videos are always inspiring, so thank you!🙏
You're so welcome! I now let my hubby manage the mail because we've both accepted that it's not my strength.
Hi Kristi. I just found your channel today. I've been on a decluttering journey for quite a few years and I think I am finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. The past two weeks I have been pulling tons of things out of closets and the attic and I am having a yard sale this weekend with my step-daughter. I am 54 and for the past 18 years I have been lugging around the country not only my things but my deceased parents belongings. Items that I used to consider as "treasures" while dealing with grief have now become a burden. I also live in a much smaller home and there just isn't room for a lot of these items and I am a completely different person than I was all those years ago. I felt a little stuck and emotional today and needed some fresh new inspiration. I searched for decluttering videos and found you. You hit on a lot of topics that really resonated with me. My little home is a disaster right now with all of the things my husband and I are hauling to the yard sale Saturday but I am seeing how it's going to be so much more spacious and clean. I could go on and on about this journey but I'll just say thank you for your video and I just subscribed!
Welcome! I am so glad that you finally found your way over here! 🤗 Decluttering can take SOOO long- girl, I really had no idea when I first started. So I have to ask, did you get your home to the spacious cleanliness that you want?!
@@kristidoingthings Hi and thank you for responding. It’s getting close, but the closer I get, the more I see that I’m ready to let go. But it’s definitely feeling/looking lighter and more spacious🥰
I've been loving this since I started my decluttering journey. I've donated and thrown away a big portion of my stuff, keeping only the things that spark joy. However, I've realized that I still have clutter because of these items. So, I now have a donation bag near my door, where I'll put things I haven't touched in weeks. Then, I'll see if I miss or remember having them. If not, they're going to be donated 😊❤😂
What a great strategy! Having a donation bag ready makes it so much easier to keep the momentum going in your decluttering journey. It’s amazing how we often forget about things we thought we needed. I love that you’re giving yourself the chance to see if you truly miss those items-such a great way to ensure you’re only keeping what truly brings you joy! Keep up the great work! 😊❤
I'm 61. Both my parents are gone and everything nice I inherited, I use everyday!!
3:40 made me got whoa!! I'm a relatively new widow and that's a whole nother place. Very well done Thank you
Aww, I am so sorry for your loss. I hope it gave you a little bit of encouragement.
SO GLAD I FOUND YOU!!! For such a time as THIS!!! These are great questions! Writing them down because I’m graciously navigating ALL FOUR layers: ready to be FREE!
You've got this!! I'm rooting you on. 😉
As a rule, I really love to declutter. Even so, I get bogged down at times (okay, pretty often lol) and then search for a thought-provoking channel to refocus. There are some good videos out there, but yours is one of the BEST I’ve seen. Thank you for explaining your concept of declutterring layers. It’s an excellent way of understanding the process. I haven’t yet looked to see if you already have, but you should definitely write a book!
Aww, thank you so much! I haven’t, but I’m loving the idea!
Oh my days, your manic laugh when you're panning around your place - I lost it! Laughed with you. Good on you for showing this and sharing your techniques.
😂😂😂 So happy to hear that you enjoyed it!
Thank you so much you are encouraging...I am almost 64 and I currently have 3 storages taking up my money not to mention the garage and my advice is get on it sooner then later while you are strongband healthy and you have your husband while I still have my husband of 44 years praise God he is going truogj some health issues at the present and now it's oh no why didn't I do this sooner stop putting it off...I'm trying to save someone money here...om still trying to get to mine...I blew out my ankle in auto accident 20 years ago which gets in my way from time to.time especially in those times where I feel like ok let's do this...I a retired teacher.
.and yes I still have my stuff...ugh....pray for me and I pray that God will keep giving you guidance and wisdom and strength
Thank you for sharing your journey! It’s inspiring to hear your determination, especially with everything you’re navigating. I completely understand how those storages can weigh on you both financially and mentally. Prayers sent and thank you for your prayers as well! I’m cheering you on as you make progress with your decluttering! You’ve got this! 🙏❤️
Wow! The layers are a perfect way to describe my clutter traumas. Thank you!
💛
@@kristidoingthingsI have a storage unit also..with a piano from 1930s my great grandmother gave me and I used to play flawlessly. I haven't had a house yet to put it in and I'm almost 50. I love my piano..sadly it costs me $80 a month to keep it. I really don't want to let go of it.
This is my hardest decision.
Love how realistic this advice is and how real you are in sharing it! Knowing that even people farther along in their decluttering journey still have things to work through is very comforting. Thank you for sharing. ❤
❤️❤️❤️ You’re so welcome!
I love your energy and relatability! Keep it up gurl!❤. Ok hold up! I just got to the part about your parent’s stuff!! My mom passed when I was in my 20s, my dad in my 40s, my office is literally cluttered with ALL of their stuff?!!! IDK what to do with it!! I love it! Some of it is literal treasure!! I’m trying to clean up!! Thank you for this post! Very timely
Thank you so much!! 😊
I struggled with decluttering all my life. Nothing seemed to help. Until one day, when I just realized what I had was an unhealthy attachment to... useless stuff. To be honest, it was almost like a spiritual awakening. Why was I so attached to all that stuff? It was worthless and I always wasted energy trying to organize it, to find new ways of storing it. I was a slave to my own junk. Useless, insignificant objects that I couldn't throw away because I was too emotionally tied to. For example, I had so so many things from my grandparents who passed away. Why did I need so many of them? Were my memories of them depending on objects? Would giving up that stuff mean I would forget they ever existed? Obviously not. So I ended up only keeping my grandma's earrings and grandpa's mug. That's it. I had tons of newspapers and magazines that I kept with the intention of using in my DIY projects, but I never got the time to actually do those projects. I kept telling myself I HAVE to keep them and use them somehow because it's recycling and it's a good thing. It actually added a lot of pressure on me because every day I saw them was another day I would blame myself for not DIYing. Sooo toxic. Eventually I just gave them to a recycling company. It's still recycling, I don't have to do the entire process myself. It's honestly the best feeling ever. To finally understand that stuff is just stuff, unimportant, and I am above it. I am the one that matters.
So helpful tome, thank you.
How freeing to no longer be a slave to "stuff". It's amazing how when we finally let go, we realize how much these things that we thought were so vital were actually only serving to hold us back- plus we don't even miss them when they're gone. Yes, you are the one that matters! So happy for you!!!
To me too!
Hi Kristi, ive seen so many decclutering videos. Im a level 3 and it gets harder and harder. I wish i would be strong enough to say enough is enough. It's that ive gone Marie Kondo style a lot of times that i get upset when i get rid of things i actually will want to use in the future. I do not like to waste money like that or any otherway. Another thing is the sentimental part of it. Most of the things i have are memories of when my children were babies, growing up like pictures and items they have made for me as gifts. They are grown and on their own so these items help me not feel lonely. Im a senior and seniors know what im talking about. That is why its so hard of getting rid of most of my things. However, the questions you have giving us for us to ask ourselves might help me to finally get rid of the rest of the things. Thank you and will keep you posted in my decclutering journey.
Please do! I have stopped looking at it as wasting money bc the money is already spent and it is no longer adding value to my life. I made a follow up video that I think will really speak to what it sounds like you’re dealing with. Watch it and let me know your thoughts. ua-cam.com/video/Dyuy3vAbhlA/v-deo.htmlsi=bwmlCtXLf7yA6OBH
Thank you for this. I’m definitely a stage two hoarder and working on clearing out my house. I actually now love throwing stuff away. I just have a whole lot of stuff so it takes time but I’m on my way.
Proud of you!!!! Starting is the hardest part.
Thanks for this.
I have a storage unit too. I could have built a temperature controlled storage building in my mom’s backyard with the money I’ve spent on rent.
When I moved in, my brothers and mom said she would only be around a couple more years and then I would need my stuff again. But apparently my mom isn’t going anywhere soon. She’s nearly 92 now. My brothers have both died and so now it’s just me and mom and a huge storage unit. And I’ve cluttered her house as well. Sheesh!
Mail is a huge thing for me too. Good suggestion to start with that. Easy peasy…right?
Jan
Sending you all the good vibes as you work to tackle this. Don’t overwhelm yourself ❤️
@@kristidoingthings that’s a problem. I see the whole pile and don’t know where to start, but since I can only do one thing at a time, that’s where I should start. 👍
Brilliant! 🌟 I've watched countless decluttering videos, none of which have touched the mental & emotional challenges (overwhelm, guilt, grief, etc) holding us back from a tidy life. Your process is 👏 brilliant: a navigation guide for balancing emotional attachment & logic. Decluttering truly starts within the mindspace. Thank you for that epiphany & for sharing your approach.
Aww, thanks so much!!! I haven't watched much (actually any) decluttering content but I knew how it felt for me. I am so happy that it resonated and has been helpful!