Acquiring the MIndset for Re-Grounding and Happiness: Don't be the Victim
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- Опубліковано 12 січ 2020
- There is nothing more disempowering and less productive than thinking of yourself as the victim.
Unfortunately, when you experience chronic pain it is very difficult not to think in those terms. After all, you didn't ask for it to happen and you feel helpless to change the situation.
From my own personal experience, I know for a fact that to get ahead in life you simply must stop thinking of yourself as a victim and take positive action. You have no choice.
No one will come save you.
Only you can change the situation.
You must let go of old hurts and move forward. You must be proactive. This applies for both seeking the resolution of pain as well as discovering the happiness that is currently hidden from view.
Hey there, my name is Neal Hallinan.
The purpose of this channel is to help people understand and resolve chronic muscular and joint pain, primarily through the discipline of Postural Restoration.
As someone who lived with chronic pain for many years of my life, I know how debilitating and isolating it can be. But I also know it can be resolved.
I hold the following credentials:
Postural Restoration Trained (PRT)
Strength and Conditioning Coach (CSCS)
Licensed Massage Therapist (LMT)
Amateur Historian (AH, my own self-designation)
I live and work in the great state of New Jersey, USA.
I offer one-on-one training as well as online consultations via Skype. Feel free to e-mail me at Nealhallinan@gmail.com for more info.
/ neal_hallinan
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Subscribe to my channel here: / @nealhallinan
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For an example of typical exercises for a beginner program, you can look here:
pritrainer.com/pri-left-aic-r...
Please note, this is quite generic and not sufficient for everybody!
For further information about Postural Restoration defined patterns, check out these videos and blog posts.
pritrainer.com/left-aic-pattern/
• What is the Left AIC p...
• Introduction to the Ri...
pritrainer.com/right-bc-pattern/
• RTMCC Pattern Basics
pritrainer.com/right-tmcc-pat...
"Don't go searching for happiness, it's there you just aren't aware of it." Much like the ground I lost touch with.
Yes, exactly!
This video is what keeps me alive during worst days as Patho PEC. It was also great inspiration for me beggining my PRI experciences. Tears coming down my face. Became PEC because people were abusing me, making fun of, picked on, people laughed because they discovered I was a virgin. My whole sence of value and confidence went crashing down, couldn’t stand the pain, unbearable shame forced me to do creazy painfull things that almost killed myself in the proces. The biggest thing for me not making time for PRI is exacly feeling like a victim, showing off how i’m hurting day to day to make abusers see what they did... That is the biggest limiting factor I don’ know how to let go.
Focus on doing what’s best for yourself, otherwise you are putting them first, permanently.
It's funny that some people think being virgin is not good. Live your life to the fullest 😀
Your sincerity is appreciated ,Neal.
Never before have I cried while watching a UA-cam video. Thank you so much for sharing yourself.
I think for me a big part of the difficulty of dealing with chronic pain/dysfunction was the feeling of being let-down by the healthcare system…”no one can help me!” we cry. It’s hard to wean yourself off this mentality and to decide to try to tackle things yourself. Go out, do the research, try stuff out, ignore the nay-saying establishment and dubious diagnoses! Thank goodness for your website 👍
And it’s so true when you say “you have no choice” - get to it!!!
❤
thank you Neal for your strength and honesty.
You're quite welcome.
I like that you said how we are way more aware of our pain when things in our life arent going to plan. Great video!
Thanks. My high school football coach used to always say that your injuries don't hurt so much when you win, but hurt bad when you lose. It's true.
One of the most interesting lines in the I-Ching to me is 'Inhibition is the basis of human freedom.' Fits with its advice to make sure you're at rest before you begin to act. Feeling overwhelmed, unmotivated, disaffected etc. are not necessarily the issues our society makes them out to be. They may just mean, we need to rest and reflect. Seemingly pressing activity is not necessarily as urgent as it seems and may not even be right - and that may be one of the things we need to reflect about.
I agree wholeheartedly. Thanks for the comment.
@@NealHallinan A pleasure. Thanks for the videos.
I can feel your pain through your speech and I appreciate the story where the light is coming
It's never one large problem. It's usually many different small problems coming from different directions. It dilutes focus.
Coming up on middle age is a much more challenging than teenage angst. For some people, it is a whopper.
You dont like "healing" but your words felt like healing while i was watching. Thank you!
You're welcome Pablo. Thanks for the kind comment.
I've always had this idea that as children, before introduced to any type of emotional abuse or trauma, we were at our strongest mentally, armed with curiosity, questions, individuality, uninhibited self-expression and a strong desire to explore the world, and not yet weighed down by all the emotional trauma all these "responsible grown ass adults" just pass onto them because they were too weak to face their own issues, such as their ego, preventing them from actually seeking out information on what a healthy parental role model really is.
Shame, guilt, humiliation are used heavily to control children's behavior, instead of actually being a "parent" guiding and helping them understand their feelings and navigate the world.
I find that the more I prioritize myself and restore my desire to be curious, questioning, express myself, define my own values and just learn about the world, the more I start to feel whole again, like I'm no longer wearing a mask.
I also no longer put others on pedestals nor allow them to project their bs problems they don't want to face, onto me, and people start to see how "weak" some of these so called "tough" people really are, when their own bullshit gets thrown back at them and they're exposed, not being able to handle what they dish out.
Good observations. Shame, guilt, and humiliation are devastating for the developing mind to experience (or anyone for that matter).
I never put anyone else on a pedestal anymore. I'll respect people, but I don't hero-worship or think anyone is "above" me in any way. That wasn't always the case.
Have you read Joseph Campbell's books?
I understand man, my pain is all the imbalance that I sense.
I am very happy you sharing your wisdom. I had never have an authority in my life,now i have thank you
Very difficult story really it was like a gift from God to search and get the answer for ur self and helping all people over d world
Thnx alot
You are a true blessing ! Many thanks for your time... sharing your knowledge and experiences 👏👏👏👏could listen to u 24/7
Thank you, Bianca.
Super video
Neal you know what. My brother doesn't believe that i am suffering from left AIC right bc pattern thing...he makes fun of me when i put paper towel in both my foot arches. Well of it what i am doing is helping me and i am not worried about what he says....thanks to you Neal
I went through a lot of ups and downs with depression with my pain. the one thing I never did was give up. I am glad I did not because I think I found the answer here on youtube of all places. Thank got for artificial intelligence and data analytics. Somehow it brought me here from all the related videos I scoured youtube looking for answers.
Sometimes technology has its benefits!
A beautiful video Neal. Thank you.
AMAZING!!! The connections you made and how you articulated this really helped me. Nice work, appreciate the content
You're welcome, Colin.
❤
Thanks for sharing Neal!
Thanks, Cindy!
Thank you 💖
Best video on pri so far 💯
Excellent video! I can relate with what you said like a lot!
Thanks, Christian.
Hi Neal, i think you should read the work of Ray Peat and his bioenergetic theory, it appears to me that he has the other piece to this puzzle which is having the energy required to fully meet life's demands and to relax with the understanding that compensatory mechanisms are deployed by the body when not entirely energised. Love your work and thank you.
Thank you for posting this. It makes me think of the neurologist Antonio Damasio for some reason, I wonder if you’ve ever read his work (his latest book The Strange Order Of Things proposed some amazing concepts, although it’s quite dense to read). Also Carl Jung. The human brain is so fascinating.
I've certainly heard of both. I haven't read Damsio's book but I'll check it out. Thanks for the tip!
Absolutely love your work! Looking forward to having the opportunity to do some online work with you when the financial situation allows it!
Thank you Zero Point Athletics.
Recent post on my FB feed someone made a list of 30+ mental health diseases they recently self diagnosed themselves with. I've noticed in recent years social media (particularly FB, less IG) is turning more into a competition of how bad you have it rather than how good.
That's an interesting observation. It seems to me that IG is still more of "look how hot, rich, happy I am". FB does seem to be a lot more negativity, particularly anger at the "others", both politically and socially. As Yoda said "fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to the dark side". It's true.
Stop making excuses. Stop being a victim. Take personal responsibility. Life is one big tug of war between mediocrity and trying to find your best self. Life is a battle between trying to find more of yourself knowing that the real you is afraid, likes comfort, likes to be patted on the back, and doing what you need to do to get better. this is my new me ...
There is a lot of truth to your words, Adrian.
Thanks for the video.
May I ask a question out of theme?
In one of your videos you said that TMCC pattern affects left eye causing astigmatism.
Could you advise is there an exercise shown on the channel which is helpful to keep the vision of the left eye? thanks
TMCC can affect your vision, yes. Ron calls an astigmatism "scoliosis of the eyeball". I can't say there is any one exercise that helps. Getting out of extension is what helps vision.
Thanks for the answer.
Thank you for the beautiful video.
Iam going through the same and it's very painful and depressed 💔
what is different between chiropractic *TREATMENT* and PRI?
I don't touch anyone except for testing. Only your brain can "de-pattern" a pattern.
Is it possible to be stuck in such a pattern that you describe in your videos while having a hip hike on the left side? QL (low back area, not entirely sure if QL) always feels turned on and tight on the left, adductors feel tight on the right; pulling pelvis down almost? Some stuff in your vids seems to hold true while others don’t to my specific case
Yes. The underlying patterns are the same regardless of which side of the pelvis is higher.
Neal Hallinan thanks for the reply. Given this info, the QL on the left side is stiff, overactive due to the hip being hiked. Doesn’t it make sense to do 90/90 with right hip shift given these circumstance s
@@PittieTictures I know it is confusing, but the answer is no. This is because in the left AIC pattern, the lumbar spine is rotated to the right and the pelvis goes with it.
If you did a right hip shift, you would simply be reinforcing the pattern.
The left QLs tension is more of a sagittal and probably transverse plane issue, because the left lower spine is over-arched (sagittal) and being pulled to the right (transverse) , while the right side QL is more of a frontal plane issue: it's stuck in a sidebending position. So they can both be agitated, but for different reason.
If the 90/90 isn't working, I'd then suggest the All Fours Left ZOA exercise on my website.
Neal Hallinan awesome Neal. That definitely answers my question. Cheers brother.
Hard for you ,hard for me living in pain
Mister Hallinan I have tight left paravertebral muscles and tight left ql, it can prevent to get left ZOA and left posterior mediastinum expansion?
I doubt it. It means something is preventing you from getting a left ZOA.
@@NealHallinan in Pri exercise i find paraspinal inhibition technique, we do it to inhibit left paraspinal only? Or left ql too?
@@NealHallinan I want to understand why in PRI they paraspinal inhibition technique, it for what side, and why they do it
@@khachaturdavtyan5144 it's done to obtain a left ZOA and left AF/IR. You can look at every single PRI exercise and call it a left ZOA exercise. Or you could call it a left paravertebral inhibition technique. It's the same thing. You can't get a left ZOA if you can't inhibit the left paravertebrals. You can't inhibit the paravertebrals if you can't get a left ZOA. They go together. It just depends on how you look at it.
@@NealHallinan thank you Mister Hallinan for answer
I can probably share something that has helped me to some degree deal with the combination of pain and victim mentality. I am not the type of person who thinks of himself as a victim, if something in life didn't happen the way I wanted it to happen. Well, first, life, second, I just wasn't skilled enough to influence the reality in a way that suits my needs.
Then again, pain is just so annoying and sometimes you break, when you know in order to get some water from the sink, you have to get up, get through the pain of getting up straight, get through the pain of standing up straight, then getting through the pain of walking and finally getting through the pain of sitting down again and getting accustomed to the sitting position, which, unfortunately is just more pain, you start to not want to drink water that much.
When the difference in difficulty between a person with no pain getting water and you, with all this stuff getting water is so big, you kind of think that life is unfair, and that is the EXACT moment you get into victim mentality. One time is okay, the problem is that it is just so easy to think this way and it becomes recurring and as Neal said, we become reactive rather than proactive, which is bad, you have to actively search for the cure in order to get cured. Otherwise it's just dumb luck, on which you cannot lean, at least I can't.
So how did I deal with that victim mentality? Simple idea - change the perspective on pain.
What is my goal? Get rid of pain and life a fulfilling, pain-free life.
So then I started journaling and started watching myself, the pain, the feelings, the thoughts and I just poured everything into the journal, I became an observer.
So then, what is meaning of pain? Well, I want to be pain-free and getting information about what makes me feel pain, what pain, how does that change my emotional state and all that stuff is helpful, because I can use the information to be pain-free in the future.
So then, there's this mantra - In order to feel less pain overall, you have to feel more pain now. And of course, write that stuff down, move it away from your head, it is really helpful and also you're documenting your journey. That's some Neal level helpful stuff if you share it someday :).
(Update: I use this mantra when I start falling into victim mentality, of course it is not a great idea to think that you should feel more pain all the time in order to deal with it in the future, it works as an anchor to the right mentality in hard times).
Ah, the downside to that is when you feel less pain you kind of stop writing, but until that time comes, the journal would've evolved into something entirely different probably, which will be useful for life, at least that's my experience with only 5 months of journaling.
A very good idea is to just explain how you feel on regular basis, not only when you're in much pain, like 2 times a week, alarm schedule, so you have unbiased information after a few months and you can track progress. There's much more stuff but this is getting too long, so journal the pain away :)
👏Sir u r a great health professional. I see myself in each one of your vídeos, I live in Miami n I need PR treatment. Can U help me or guide me? 🙏Namaskaram
Clearly you are in spectrum of ASD. It's okay I have it too. Being low on spoons is hard
This video is the current me 18-21 years old wasted in pain
Have you sought help via a PRI therapist?
Neal Hallinan got a dns therapist but not sure it’s going to help
@@LiMitZplus I don't know much about DNS. Where do you live?
Neal Hallinan Manitoba Canada . She knows some pri but prefers dns. My thing with pri is it perfectly explains my unilateral right sided symptoms. That being said it seems dns has a more well rounded/funded scientific basis coming out of the Prague school
@@LiMitZplus How is it more well-rounded? I don't know anything about it.
Don’t go searching for happiness. It’s there - you just aren’t aware of it.
Hmm, interesting.
Yeah, you're right. Having a victim mentality doesn't help you at all. Nevertheless It's hard to stay focused and take constant action to the right direction when at first you don't see any results or so little that you think they don't matter anyway. But if you push trough this there is a reasonable probability that over time it changes for the good and in the end It's the only thing you can do anyway. Great topic.
Thanks for the comment. Agreed, it can be very difficult. But even if you have just a little success, you may see that there is the possibility of resolution and that by itself can help someone's tension decrease.
In regards to PRI, I have to assume that an individual is working with a competent professional. Trying to figure this out by oneself probably won't work. It's too complicated.
And you are correct, pushing forward is the only option.