Codependency and Addiction: Parents guide to healthier relationships

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  • Опубліковано 21 лис 2024
  • Our instincts as parents are to care for and protect our children, and that is a good thing. But sometimes, this instinct can become a destructive force. It can consume us mentally and emotionally and it can cloud our judgment. It can hurt us as parents, damage relationships and ultimately it can hurt the children we are trying to help.
    This is an educational video for parents that will cover codependency as an addiction with Tree House Recovery’s own Karen Willock who runs Tree House Recovery's National Family Progam and Vechi Mutum.
    00:01 - Introduction of Topics
    00:22 - and Background of Speakers
    00:57 - What Is Codependency
    02:00 - Similarities to Addiction
    02:35 - Symptoms Of Codependency
    03:00 - Listening Skills
    03:55 - Conditioning of Codependency
    04:21 - Triggers to Regression
    04:46 - What's happening in the Body and Brain,
    05:00 - How to stop trigger to regression
    06:30 - Early stage of recovery, What to watch out for
    07:40 - Couples with Codependency
    09:00 - How to Began Healing
    10:03 - Origins of Codependency
    11:12 - Developing Boundaries with Child
    11:58 - Women - Addressing Shame
    12:30 - Men - Addressing Shame
    13:00 - Changing Negative Thinking and Behaviors
    15:00 - Approaches to Recovery
    16:30 - Activation Signs to Watch and Avoid
    18:00 - Retraining the Brain and Healing YOURSELF
    21:00 - Exercises to Maintain Your Growth In Recovery
    Our goal is to help you understand what codependency is and the damage it can cause you and your child. This will help you know whether or not you may be codependent and give you strategies you can use to begin healing so you can begin rebuilding healthy relationships and ultimately live a better life.
    To Learn More About Codependency, Visit:
    treehouserecov...
    Codependency Quiz:
    treehouserecov...
    Call if you need help.

КОМЕНТАРІ • 114

  • @katherinequesada7382
    @katherinequesada7382 Рік тому +75

    Only a mother which gone through this can explain it like this woman can. I'm going through this. Nothing has been more painful than letting your adult addict go. Letting go snd letting God is not to be taken lightly.

  • @leopardchicken
    @leopardchicken 2 роки тому +16

    'The irresistible urge to solve a problem before they ask' brilliant

  • @carliebess1400
    @carliebess1400 3 місяці тому +9

    Being the mother of an addict is unexplainable grief, pain, fear… it’s so hard. The ups and downs.. been really trying to let go and give it to God.

  • @catherinecook9260
    @catherinecook9260 Рік тому +34

    Spot on, this is me.
    My heart is crushed for my son. I try to fix, help, feed, care for things before they evolve. Worry, worry, worry.
    I will now give him the dignity to solve his own challenges.

  • @katherinequesada7382
    @katherinequesada7382 Рік тому +14

    Yes ptsd that's exactly what I felt it took over my entire being changed my personality.

  • @pattymiracle6533
    @pattymiracle6533 5 місяців тому +11

    This is the best talk I ever heard for Mother’s of addicts. Bless you a million times for your work ❤

  • @anonymouspost9144
    @anonymouspost9144 Рік тому +18

    Until I got to the place where I could trust God with my adult son, I tried to help, manage and rescue him. The opposite of faith is fear.

  • @ladyday1972
    @ladyday1972 3 роки тому +16

    Karen Willock please make more videos they are getting me thru this 😢

  • @ladyday1972
    @ladyday1972 3 роки тому +40

    I watch this video at least once a week. My daughter is on the streets and every word of this applies to me and my situation. Thank you so much

    • @TreeHouseRecovery
      @TreeHouseRecovery  3 роки тому +1

      We are so happy to hear this is helping you.

    • @michelangelope830
      @michelangelope830 2 роки тому

      How much parents love their children and children love their parents? Have you watched the film “Lorenzo’s oil” starring Nick Nolte and Susan Sarandon as the parents of a child sick with a rare incurable brain disease who research and work incessantly to find a cure to save their son’s life? That never happened with addiction, the so called “family disease”. Not only parents and children of addicts, likewise psychologists, psychiatrists and rest of humanity, didn’t research the affliction, when just reading the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous (which the mainstream of addiction recovery programs are based on) and being honest to want to understand is enough to understand that addiction is the psychology of a liar, but silence the truth that would save their so called “loved ones”. Are you queuing in the crowded comforting lies or alone in the unpleasant truths? Do you believe addiction is an incurable brain disease that affects young healthy criminals that has never been found or detected by any biological or other means? The only common denominator between all addicts from any social background or distinction is that they are notorious liars. Humanity are dying deceived deceiving living a lie because parents don’t teach their children to be honest because are not honest themselves. The truth is addiction is the tormented psychology of an unforgiving liar, drugs don’t cause addiction and only liars get hooked and only honesty gets freedom. The tragedy of addiction is children who revenge a childhood hurt, or trauma, against their parents learning from example becoming victims of themselves so as to conceal the hatred to hurt others, advertising themselves as victims stealing attention. In life like in psychology events and behaviours happen for a reason. Addiction runs in families because psychologies, behaviours, beliefs and else are transmitted from parents to children, like father like son, because humanity don’t think for oneself, otherwise there would be agreement on the truth. Hate, lie, hurt, ignorance comes from hate, lie, hurt, ignorance and addiction appears in bad families of parents who hurt their children. I am a recovering addict, a fool who knows that is a fool, a wise man. I don’t know much but i know what i know. The truth is stagnated among liars and when the unpublishable truth is published mortality rates would collapse provoking humanity’s addiction recovery, a burst of psychology, guilt, shame that was bottled up, desensitised, ignored in active addiction. The war, nightmare of living a lie would end because would be proven that you are like i impossibility possible miracle God.

    • @carolburnette2019
      @carolburnette2019 Рік тому +1

      How are you and your daughter? 🙏

    • @jonash226
      @jonash226 Рік тому +2

      I’m so sorry to hear this I hope you’re looking after you’re self xx

  • @kathrynswihart4445
    @kathrynswihart4445 3 роки тому +32

    I spent years thinking I was helping my child, only to learn I was enabling him. This video provides such practical and heartfelt advice on how to do the thing you don't know how to do - help YOURSELF.

    • @michelangelope830
      @michelangelope830 2 роки тому

      How much parents love their children and children love their parents? Have you watched the film “Lorenzo’s oil” starring Nick Nolte and Susan Sarandon as the parents of a child sick with a rare incurable brain disease who research and work incessantly to find a cure to save their son’s life? That never happened with addiction, the so called “family disease”. Not only parents and children of addicts, likewise psychologists, psychiatrists and rest of humanity, didn’t research the affliction, when just reading the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous (which the mainstream of addiction recovery programs are based on) and being honest to want to understand is enough to understand that addiction is the psychology of a liar, but silence the truth that would save their so called “loved ones”. Are you queuing in the crowded comforting lies or alone in the unpleasant truths? Do you believe addiction is an incurable brain disease that affects young healthy criminals that has never been found or detected by any biological or other means? The only common denominator between all addicts from any social background or distinction is that they are notorious liars. Humanity are dying deceived deceiving living a lie because parents don’t teach their children to be honest because are not honest themselves. The truth is addiction is the tormented psychology of an unforgiving liar, drugs don’t cause addiction and only liars get hooked and only honesty gets freedom. The tragedy of addiction is children who revenge a childhood hurt, or trauma, against their parents learning from example becoming victims of themselves so as to conceal the hatred to hurt others, advertising themselves as victims stealing attention. In life like in psychology events and behaviours happen for a reason. Addiction runs in families because psychologies, behaviours, beliefs and else are transmitted from parents to children, like father like son, because humanity don’t think for oneself, otherwise there would be agreement on the truth. Hate, lie, hurt, ignorance comes from hate, lie, hurt, ignorance and addiction appears in bad families of parents who hurt their children. I am a recovering addict, a fool who knows that is a fool, a wise man. I don’t know much but i know what i know. The truth is stagnated among liars and when the unpublishable truth is published mortality rates would collapse provoking humanity’s addiction recovery, a burst of psychology, guilt, shame that was bottled up, desensitised, ignored in active addiction. The war, nightmare of living a lie would end because would be proven that you are like i impossibility possible miracle God.

  • @carylrosenph.d.3878
    @carylrosenph.d.3878 3 роки тому +21

    Oh wow! This is spot on. Learn to '"detach with love". The hardest thing I've ever done.

  • @zakiajohnson7187
    @zakiajohnson7187 7 місяців тому +3

    Thank you so much I’m going through this with my son who is 27 and my emotions are all over the place but with prayer and God leading me to people like you I’m learning how to deal with all the manipulation trying not to be an enabler

    • @KarenFlynn-k4p
      @KarenFlynn-k4p 7 місяців тому +1

      I feel for you, I have been walking in my son's addiction for 20 years. I hit rock bottom myself may years ago, my heath was not good, couldn't sleep, depressed you name it. What helped me was stopping the money and went to counseling on my own and also group counseling. You realize you are not alone, it really helped me. All the best, and take care of YOU.❤

  • @deanihendry7967
    @deanihendry7967 4 місяці тому +4

    I’m happy to have found your videos . I had 2 kids both addicts , my daughter died of an overdose at 28 , my son is in early forties now and has been in and out of treatment most of his life . I need to get healthy now ❤

    • @michellecox5543
      @michellecox5543 Місяць тому +1

      Same here. My youngest son died at age 20, fourteen years ago. My oldest son has been in and out of treatment centers and prison. It's been super-tough and heartbreaking. I have taken up meditation. If I could only express how much this has helped me, everyone would do it. You get a different perspective on it all. Best wishes!

  • @moniquedemoura2341
    @moniquedemoura2341 2 місяці тому +2

    Karen is amazing! Everything she spoke of was so in depth & brilliant. Some things she spoke of I never knew or thought of before. Karen, please make more videos or where can we see you more?

  • @grantsanders4211
    @grantsanders4211 Рік тому +7

    This video is pure gold. I work in the field, and in my opinion, addiction is most certainly a family illness. The family needs to also look at and deal with their issues. Unfortunately, in many cases, there is a lot of ambivalence or denial around the family getting help. Nothing changes if nothing changes! Great video!

  • @victoriaoshea4865
    @victoriaoshea4865 Рік тому +8

    ... "When I solve a problem for someone that they are able to solve for themselves that is ENABLING "

  • @staceycole2199
    @staceycole2199 Рік тому +4

    Phenomenal video - thank you!

  • @judithpanoch4861
    @judithpanoch4861 3 роки тому +8

    Easy to understand, firm, practical, and non-threatening for codependents to start the change. Many applicable examples of the cycle of codependency.

  • @anbh08
    @anbh08 11 місяців тому +4

    True, I want my 27 year old daughter to come clean of her alcohol abuse and drug abuse. It’s heartbreaking to see her spiralling down year after year. Tried the open communication route, tough love route, only to learn the games she plays, lies etc. my question is, how long do I wait for her to recognise there is a problem before it’s too late. It’s unbearable.

    • @michellecox5543
      @michellecox5543 Місяць тому

      She knows she has the problem. There is lots of shame attached to addiction. It's a rough road for all involved. So many of us have gone through this. You are not alone. Maybe give the rest of the program a try if you have not already. Best wishes.

  • @jenniferbeaman4290
    @jenniferbeaman4290 8 місяців тому +1

    I am working on this myself, and the gentleman's story hit home for me and for the this lady, help me so much, and I felt wow - it is ok to say No, but I love that No is a full sentence!

  • @JJSolitude
    @JJSolitude Місяць тому

    I became aware as I was obsessing over their healing or wellness, that I had hardly any memory of the rest of the weeks while I was stressed. Finally let go and so much healthier and feeling balanced. We are ultimately not responsible for our adult child's journey.

  • @rolandaschmidt2997
    @rolandaschmidt2997 4 роки тому +13

    I must need Treehouse. Everything that I just listened to was explained in a way I never fully understood. A coach told me I was feeling Adrenaline when his number came up but boy ...I jump and act and can I multi-task with his issues but now through growth and mind training and wanting to experience joy again I’m able to stop compulsive thinking and my thoughts and anxiety to keep from looping...thank you both!

    • @michelangelope830
      @michelangelope830 2 роки тому

      How much parents love their children and children love their parents? Have you watched the film “Lorenzo’s oil” starring Nick Nolte and Susan Sarandon as the parents of a child sick with a rare incurable brain disease who research and work incessantly to find a cure to save their son’s life? That never happened with addiction, the so called “family disease”. Not only parents and children of addicts, likewise psychologists, psychiatrists and rest of humanity, didn’t research the affliction, when just reading the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous (which the mainstream of addiction recovery programs are based on) and being honest to want to understand is enough to understand that addiction is the psychology of a liar, but silence the truth that would save their so called “loved ones”. Are you queuing in the crowded comforting lies or alone in the unpleasant truths? Do you believe addiction is an incurable brain disease that affects young healthy criminals that has never been found or detected by any biological or other means? The only common denominator between all addicts from any social background or distinction is that they are notorious liars. Humanity are dying deceived deceiving living a lie because parents don’t teach their children to be honest because are not honest themselves. The truth is addiction is the tormented psychology of an unforgiving liar, drugs don’t cause addiction and only liars get hooked and only honesty gets freedom. The tragedy of addiction is children who revenge a childhood hurt, or trauma, against their parents learning from example becoming victims of themselves so as to conceal the hatred to hurt others, advertising themselves as victims stealing attention. In life like in psychology events and behaviours happen for a reason. Addiction runs in families because psychologies, behaviours, beliefs and else are transmitted from parents to children, like father like son, because humanity don’t think for oneself, otherwise there would be agreement on the truth. Hate, lie, hurt, ignorance comes from hate, lie, hurt, ignorance and addiction appears in bad families of parents who hurt their children. I am a recovering addict, a fool who knows that is a fool, a wise man. I don’t know much but i know what i know. The truth is stagnated among liars and when the unpublishable truth is published mortality rates would collapse provoking humanity’s addiction recovery, a burst of psychology, guilt, shame that was bottled up, desensitised, ignored in active addiction. The war, nightmare of living a lie would end because would be proven that you are like i impossibility possible miracle God.

  • @54celestial
    @54celestial 3 роки тому +6

    This is so me. I’ve been an enabler and co dependent for years. Thank you for this. I need so much help with this

    • @michelangelope830
      @michelangelope830 2 роки тому

      How much parents love their children and children love their parents? Have you watched the film “Lorenzo’s oil” starring Nick Nolte and Susan Sarandon as the parents of a child sick with a rare incurable brain disease who research and work incessantly to find a cure to save their son’s life? That never happened with addiction, the so called “family disease”. Not only parents and children of addicts, likewise psychologists, psychiatrists and rest of humanity, didn’t research the affliction, when just reading the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous (which the mainstream of addiction recovery programs are based on) and being honest to want to understand is enough to understand that addiction is the psychology of a liar, but silence the truth that would save their so called “loved ones”. Are you queuing in the crowded comforting lies or alone in the unpleasant truths? Do you believe addiction is an incurable brain disease that affects young healthy criminals that has never been found or detected by any biological or other means? The only common denominator between all addicts from any social background or distinction is that they are notorious liars. Humanity are dying deceived deceiving living a lie because parents don’t teach their children to be honest because are not honest themselves. The truth is addiction is the tormented psychology of an unforgiving liar, drugs don’t cause addiction and only liars get hooked and only honesty gets freedom. The tragedy of addiction is children who revenge a childhood hurt, or trauma, against their parents learning from example becoming victims of themselves so as to conceal the hatred to hurt others, advertising themselves as victims stealing attention. In life like in psychology events and behaviours happen for a reason. Addiction runs in families because psychologies, behaviours, beliefs and else are transmitted from parents to children, like father like son, because humanity don’t think for oneself, otherwise there would be agreement on the truth. Hate, lie, hurt, ignorance comes from hate, lie, hurt, ignorance and addiction appears in bad families of parents who hurt their children. I am a recovering addict, a fool who knows that is a fool, a wise man. I don’t know much but i know what i know. The truth is stagnated among liars and when the unpublishable truth is published mortality rates would collapse provoking humanity’s addiction recovery, a burst of psychology, guilt, shame that was bottled up, desensitised, ignored in active addiction. The war, nightmare of living a lie would end because would be proven that you are like i impossibility possible miracle God.

  • @victoriaoshea4865
    @victoriaoshea4865 Рік тому +8

    I'm taking the parent's/loved ones' class at Tree House with Karen.
    It has been very helpful, educational and supportive as I'm a parent of a 22 YO son who is an addict.

    • @TreeHouseRecovery
      @TreeHouseRecovery  Рік тому

      Thank you for your comment. We are very happy to hear that our family program is helping you and your family heal.

    • @michellecox5543
      @michellecox5543 Місяць тому

      Awesome! I'm happy for you. Keep going because you are worth it. Best wishes.

  • @whoooami2090
    @whoooami2090 3 роки тому +4

    Very helpful, thank you! I have to ask myself how the child would deal with the crisis when I’m dead? That helps me to not rush to the rescue.

  • @thelindasunshine
    @thelindasunshine Рік тому +5

    Omg shes speking from my soul

  • @marcysikes
    @marcysikes Рік тому +1

    I am glad for all avenues to get recovery out there to everyone affected by someone else’s addiction.

  • @victoriaoshea4865
    @victoriaoshea4865 Рік тому +5

    5:32 The parent creates their own problem.
    I think I've done this .
    I want to unpack this.

  • @rebeccastover2256
    @rebeccastover2256 2 роки тому +3

    Well said everything you have said is exactly what I’m living in this has been a every day battle within I do want to recover myself. I want that peace thankyou for this advice needed to get good understanding what to do the fear is real taking a breath is really what I need to do this is difficult your amazing

    • @TreeHouseRecovery
      @TreeHouseRecovery  2 роки тому

      Hey Rebecca, I understand you may be looking for some additional information and your loved one may still be struggling, you can reachout to jacob.e@treehouserecovery.com and he can see if there is a way to help you further in addition to the information you found helpful in this video.

  • @shell88ish
    @shell88ish Рік тому +2

    Great video that explains the problems we have with our loved ones who misuse substances. I’m not fond of the term co dependency though as there’s too much stigma attached. The centre for motivation and change have incredible programs for family and friends of excessive substance users. We need to work on creating a strong connection with our loved ones with our boundaries firmly in place. I have found it is far better to focus on the behaviour not the substance use.

  • @PurpleReels
    @PurpleReels 6 місяців тому +1

    I am speaking from a spouse's point of view and I have experienced this "punishment" recently because I decided to say no. Mainly because my spouse is not even in a place where he can even cover any of my bills or help with rent at all. I had to let him know I don't have anymore money to be paying for beer. I have bills and rent to pay. Then I said that it feels like you're not satisfied with my company unless I am helping pay for beer to which of course there has been no response. Punishment is a very real way that they try to manipulate and it sickening!!!

  • @vintage_violet
    @vintage_violet 3 роки тому +5

    Wonderful insights, recovering codependent here. I'd like a video about being a "too helpful child of an addicted parent." My father has relapsed but is elderly (with mild dementia) and it's so hard not to want to help a feeble old man (even though he's back on heroin).😕

    • @michelangelope830
      @michelangelope830 2 роки тому

      How much parents love their children and children love their parents? Have you watched the film “Lorenzo’s oil” starring Nick Nolte and Susan Sarandon as the parents of a child sick with a rare incurable brain disease who research and work incessantly to find a cure to save their son’s life? That never happened with addiction, the so called “family disease”. Not only parents and children of addicts, likewise psychologists, psychiatrists and rest of humanity, didn’t research the affliction, when just reading the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous (which the mainstream of addiction recovery programs are based on) and being honest to want to understand is enough to understand that addiction is the psychology of a liar, but silence the truth that would save their so called “loved ones”. Are you queuing in the crowded comforting lies or alone in the unpleasant truths? Do you believe addiction is an incurable brain disease that affects young healthy criminals that has never been found or detected by any biological or other means? The only common denominator between all addicts from any social background or distinction is that they are notorious liars. Humanity are dying deceived deceiving living a lie because parents don’t teach their children to be honest because are not honest themselves. The truth is addiction is the tormented psychology of an unforgiving liar, drugs don’t cause addiction and only liars get hooked and only honesty gets freedom. The tragedy of addiction is children who revenge a childhood hurt, or trauma, against their parents learning from example becoming victims of themselves so as to conceal the hatred to hurt others, advertising themselves as victims stealing attention. In life like in psychology events and behaviours happen for a reason. Addiction runs in families because psychologies, behaviours, beliefs and else are transmitted from parents to children, like father like son, because humanity don’t think for oneself, otherwise there would be agreement on the truth. Hate, lie, hurt, ignorance comes from hate, lie, hurt, ignorance and addiction appears in bad families of parents who hurt their children. I am a recovering addict, a fool who knows that is a fool, a wise man. I don’t know much but i know what i know. The truth is stagnated among liars and when the unpublishable truth is published mortality rates would collapse provoking humanity’s addiction recovery, a burst of psychology, guilt, shame that was bottled up, desensitised, ignored in active addiction. The war, nightmare of living a lie would end because would be proven that you are like i impossibility possible miracle God.

  • @maryalldredge19
    @maryalldredge19 2 роки тому +4

    Thank you Vechi and Karen. This is so helpful.

  • @janicehart6118
    @janicehart6118 2 роки тому +13

    Just finished watching this video. I wish I would have had this information before, perhaps it would have saved me so many heartaches n sleepless nights. This mom is awesome, so enlightening, so vulnerable n so unselfish in her sharing. I would love to have the opportunity to chat with her. 🙏🏽💪🏾💜

  • @ruthsmith1694
    @ruthsmith1694 3 роки тому +2

    Thank you. Very informative and helpful. So much truthful and helpful advise for those over anxious parents who are over protective of their adult children.

  • @Michelle-by9fp
    @Michelle-by9fp Рік тому +2

    I am an adult daughter to a mom addicted to alcohol and mental health issues. I feel you. My mom puts the requests and pressure on me to help, and I cave

  • @kathleensmith8854
    @kathleensmith8854 3 роки тому +5

    The universe put this wonderful message in my mail on the very morning my adult son left another plea for help from a new, unblocked number.
    Thank you for this survival tool. I will continue to read and listen!

    • @michelangelope830
      @michelangelope830 2 роки тому

      How much parents love their children and children love their parents? Have you watched the film “Lorenzo’s oil” starring Nick Nolte and Susan Sarandon as the parents of a child sick with a rare incurable brain disease who research and work incessantly to find a cure to save their son’s life? That never happened with addiction, the so called “family disease”. Not only parents and children of addicts, likewise psychologists, psychiatrists and rest of humanity, didn’t research the affliction, when just reading the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous (which the mainstream of addiction recovery programs are based on) and being honest to want to understand is enough to understand that addiction is the psychology of a liar, but silence the truth that would save their so called “loved ones”. Are you queuing in the crowded comforting lies or alone in the unpleasant truths? Do you believe addiction is an incurable brain disease that affects young healthy criminals that has never been found or detected by any biological or other means? The only common denominator between all addicts from any social background or distinction is that they are notorious liars. Humanity are dying deceived deceiving living a lie because parents don’t teach their children to be honest because are not honest themselves. The truth is addiction is the tormented psychology of an unforgiving liar, drugs don’t cause addiction and only liars get hooked and only honesty gets freedom. The tragedy of addiction is children who revenge a childhood hurt, or trauma, against their parents learning from example becoming victims of themselves so as to conceal the hatred to hurt others, advertising themselves as victims stealing attention. In life like in psychology events and behaviours happen for a reason. Addiction runs in families because psychologies, behaviours, beliefs and else are transmitted from parents to children, like father like son, because humanity don’t think for oneself, otherwise there would be agreement on the truth. Hate, lie, hurt, ignorance comes from hate, lie, hurt, ignorance and addiction appears in bad families of parents who hurt their children. I am a recovering addict, a fool who knows that is a fool, a wise man. I don’t know much but i know what i know. The truth is stagnated among liars and when the unpublishable truth is published mortality rates would collapse provoking humanity’s addiction recovery, a burst of psychology, guilt, shame that was bottled up, desensitised, ignored in active addiction. The war, nightmare of living a lie would end because would be proven that you are like i impossibility possible miracle God.

  • @glennisjones1745
    @glennisjones1745 Рік тому +6

    Thank You Holyspirit for leading meto this video

  • @CMN0825
    @CMN0825 3 роки тому +5

    Thank you for this video. Super powerful and useful. Just good stuff!

  • @christophergreenshields5311
    @christophergreenshields5311 4 роки тому +5

    Such an important video to watch for any parent with a child struggling with addiction. Very informative and very interesting!

  • @user-qk3ie5tb7p
    @user-qk3ie5tb7p 4 роки тому +5

    Thank you! Valuable information for parents.

    • @TreeHouseRecovery
      @TreeHouseRecovery  4 роки тому

      Thank you for watching! Let us know if there are any other topics you would like us to cover. It's our goal to help parents affected by addiction any way we can.

  • @a..r.9341
    @a..r.9341 2 роки тому +3

    I followed your advice and went to see this video. Thank you. Even though there are many good explanantions, I feel stupid and guilty now, and unable to go on.
    It sounds a lot like motherblaming to me. Maybe I still have got a big unsolved problem with being blamed in general for everything.
    Many of us had traumas as littlel girls, went through abuse outsIde the family, which were never our fault/mistake or sin, we survived abuse and/or heavy bullying because of our own strengh (and maybe there was some luck or Gods will), than latter on, we had to fight through life suffering more stuff, like bad working conditions and in many other ways, being confronted with other bad people, and working a lot in order to provide,and we took care of our children, sacrifying sleep, hobbies thingd and so on. But now, I get the message that we esponsable for not having educated our children properly, not having given them skills to be normal survivers of their own traumas, so that they had to choose drugs.
    Now, I am told: You still have to work. You canno lean back finally and enjoy yourr life. You have to work throug codependency, spend years in groups, spend more money and time in therapy.
    I did a lot of work on me, when I was young, avoiding compeletly alcohol, drougs and partylife, stayed away from trouble and did almost never bother my parents, respected them, took care of them, paid for my own therapy.
    What about the addicted grown up son? Why does he not do what he has to do? Why does he not suffer through his traumas/bad stuff (which he does not name nor maybe know) as I did without taking stupied drougs and alcohol? Furthermore, I really beliefed that I showed him by my example that we have to take into consideration our family members too. That when we take decisiones we must avoid to be selfish and not harm our loving beings by makeing wrong decisions. To take drougs and drink massively is a wrong decision, that is known bey everybody and I told him often enough. My higher power, which is the Christian God clearly says: You shall honour your parents ... To honour your parents means not harming them, taking care of them when they get old and ill and.
    I am still confused about this idea of having to go on with more work and more work and cure my codependency ... I am so tired, and confused.
    Nevertehless, I will listen to this video, several times and hope to understand it better.
    Thanks for the work you do, and the treatment home/ project sounds good to me.

    • @TreeHouseRecovery
      @TreeHouseRecovery  2 роки тому

      Thank you for you comment. Don’t give up. Keep going with the therapy. It’s hard work, but you’re worth it. Often times the best thing we can do for our family is work on our own health. You can call us anytime. You can have your son call us anytime. We are here to help.

    • @a..r.9341
      @a..r.9341 2 роки тому

      @@TreeHouseRecovery Thank you so much for your kind words. And they resonate with me. We live in Europe, so your treatment center is not a possible chooce for our son, unfortunatelly. I scan youtube and google for channels anf info like yours in the languages i know. We have AA, NA and AlAnon or similiar programs here also, thank God, and well, my son and I have to find each one our groups and treatments/places ... I hope my son will soon be willing to go to a treatment/detox, I know that he has to really want it himself. I am already going to a family group, but I want to try an AlAnon or similar group in addition.
      Many thanks again for answering and have a good weekend.

    • @TreeHouseRecovery
      @TreeHouseRecovery  2 роки тому

      @@a..r.9341 Im happy to hear that you are looking into ALAnon. Keep going on that front.
      As for your son, we treat international patients from all over the world, so your son coming to Tree House is definitely a possibility worth looking into. If you would like to coordinate a call, you can email me anytime. brandonm@treehouserecovery.com
      Have a good weekend and stay strong.

  • @weezgaga
    @weezgaga 3 роки тому +4

    Thank you!

  • @alecianewman4226
    @alecianewman4226 20 годин тому

    I’ve been looking for you. Thank you

  • @Faith-ko5eg
    @Faith-ko5eg 4 місяці тому

    I find it most interesting that the feelings, fears and reactions are very much like those in a relationship of any kind with a narcissist.

  • @BoomerMulligan
    @BoomerMulligan 11 місяців тому +1

    Wow 😳😲 Hank you ,!!!??😂 it starting to make sense thanks 👍 so much

  • @GamingFC24
    @GamingFC24 9 місяців тому +3

    This is me and it’s exhausting 😢

  • @kimperfect2295
    @kimperfect2295 7 місяців тому +1

    Thank you. I really needed this!

  • @lindsaywebb7899
    @lindsaywebb7899 6 місяців тому +1

    This is amazing! Thank you so much for sharing.

  • @rosesarahlago2020
    @rosesarahlago2020 3 роки тому +3

    this speaks about my mother 😔

    • @michelangelope830
      @michelangelope830 2 роки тому

      How much parents love their children and children love their parents? Have you watched the film “Lorenzo’s oil” starring Nick Nolte and Susan Sarandon as the parents of a child sick with a rare incurable brain disease who research and work incessantly to find a cure to save their son’s life? That never happened with addiction, the so called “family disease”. Not only parents and children of addicts, likewise psychologists, psychiatrists and rest of humanity, didn’t research the affliction, when just reading the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous (which the mainstream of addiction recovery programs are based on) and being honest to want to understand is enough to understand that addiction is the psychology of a liar, but silence the truth that would save their so called “loved ones”. Are you queuing in the crowded comforting lies or alone in the unpleasant truths? Do you believe addiction is an incurable brain disease that affects young healthy criminals that has never been found or detected by any biological or other means? The only common denominator between all addicts from any social background or distinction is that they are notorious liars. Humanity are dying deceived deceiving living a lie because parents don’t teach their children to be honest because are not honest themselves. The truth is addiction is the tormented psychology of an unforgiving liar, drugs don’t cause addiction and only liars get hooked and only honesty gets freedom. The tragedy of addiction is children who revenge a childhood hurt, or trauma, against their parents learning from example becoming victims of themselves so as to conceal the hatred to hurt others, advertising themselves as victims stealing attention. In life like in psychology events and behaviours happen for a reason. Addiction runs in families because psychologies, behaviours, beliefs and else are transmitted from parents to children, like father like son, because humanity don’t think for oneself, otherwise there would be agreement on the truth. Hate, lie, hurt, ignorance comes from hate, lie, hurt, ignorance and addiction appears in bad families of parents who hurt their children. I am a recovering addict, a fool who knows that is a fool, a wise man. I don’t know much but i know what i know. The truth is stagnated among liars and when the unpublishable truth is published mortality rates would collapse provoking humanity’s addiction recovery, a burst of psychology, guilt, shame that was bottled up, desensitised, ignored in active addiction. The war, nightmare of living a lie would end because would be proven that you are like i impossibility possible miracle God.

  • @lindalapierre2344
    @lindalapierre2344 Рік тому +1

    I sent this video to my mother, but she’s so depressed that she might not get through this. I feel I can’t help her understand 😢 shuts down, and is negative 🫤 thinks she’s well. Instead shes sad, anxious and depressed.
    I’m frustrated and sad to see the outcome.

    • @TreeHouseRecovery
      @TreeHouseRecovery  Рік тому

      We can set her up with a call with Karen. We are here to help. Call us anytime

  • @tictactoedias1908
    @tictactoedias1908 Рік тому +2

    Omg this lady is me 😢❤

  • @raek8940
    @raek8940 Рік тому +2

    I was unable to find the links he mentioned on co-dependency help. Any suggestions?

  • @pattyregister1353
    @pattyregister1353 5 місяців тому

    Thank you for practical help

  • @janiceclark-espinoza1706
    @janiceclark-espinoza1706 4 місяці тому

    Do you do private counseling ? Everything your talking about is exactly what Im going through with my 32 year old son who is addicted to alcohol, meth and weed. In 2019 he jumped off the Coronado Bridge in San Diego CA. He survived but ended up with a severe spinal cord injury and a crushed hand. After 4 months in the trauma unit he was released. I brought him home. And my life has been a living hell ever since. Countless rehabs where he just walks away. Numerous apartments left in shambles or calls from management not wanting him there anymore. We have sent him on so many fresh starts out of state out of pure desperation of wanting peace. Every single time within a couple weeks or maybe a month and then the cycle begins again. He uses my fear of him killing himself as a weapon to manipulate me. That part you said about when your phone rings is a trigger is so true for me too, but you gave me a few ideas about how to handle those situations that Im going to try. You gave me a different way to think about it like Im not giving him the opportunity to experience the consequences of his actions and grow. I like that. Any other advice I will surely appreciate. Thanks for giving me a place to vent. Best regards Janice

  • @rubixd9v2
    @rubixd9v2 4 роки тому +3

    What an interesting video..!

  • @loulouober62
    @loulouober62 26 днів тому

    thank you -- the phone --yes !

  • @barbaracolwell2000
    @barbaracolwell2000 3 роки тому +1

    could I please get that link for the group you guys do, online maybe? They comment was left for me and I cannot find it. Either way I appreciate these videos so much, they help me more than I can say.

    • @TreeHouseRecovery
      @TreeHouseRecovery  3 роки тому

      if you would like some information on the group you can message admissions@treehouserecovery.com

  • @doreen1289
    @doreen1289 Рік тому +3

    Losing yourself

  • @carolburnette2019
    @carolburnette2019 Рік тому +4

    Does this apply to mental illness? My 44 yr old son has schizoaffective.

  • @AnissaMadjer2359
    @AnissaMadjer2359 3 роки тому +4

    And video games addiction as well similar to Alcohol or drugs it is now affecting millions of children around the globe😱😱😱

  • @kelliestrickland8914
    @kelliestrickland8914 10 місяців тому

    ❤so good!!!!

  • @CarolReilly-tw6oo
    @CarolReilly-tw6oo 4 місяці тому

    I have hit rock bottom ! My 40 yr old daughter is addicted to drugs she has 2 young children and is a complete mess ! She has 4 cats that keep having kittens. The house is a mess she's always asking for money! I'm done ! But she badgers me constantly.😥

  • @dianelang7923
    @dianelang7923 6 місяців тому

    My son jumped off a building and now is recovering at home. What can I do?

  • @glennisjones1745
    @glennisjones1745 Рік тому +1

    This is so me

  • @jtsays429
    @jtsays429 Рік тому +3

    You never do anything for me me! ughh

  • @karenhovatter6131
    @karenhovatter6131 3 роки тому +2

    sounds like me

  • @doreen1289
    @doreen1289 Рік тому +1

    I buried one child and one is drinking is out of control.

  • @donnaturpin5995
    @donnaturpin5995 9 місяців тому

    Thats hard to do when the son has a 2 year old that he is raising alone.

  • @kristenmarie9248
    @kristenmarie9248 2 місяці тому

    10:42

  • @calthixton7550
    @calthixton7550 Місяць тому

    Please post your mailing address so I can box up my 45yo kid and mail him to you to see if you can fix him. I promise not to send COD. His abusive bipolar wife of 20yrs finally pushed him over the edge and drunk and now he is turning abusive with me. Two of their young teenage daughters moved in with me last year to get away from mom and her knuckles, now he is back as well. Woke me up at 2am last night to argue about something, pretty irrational, but spent awhile talking. His mom is of little help and warranty repair seems to have expired, so looking for other options since eviction may be my only and last hope. Can do UPS if you prefer.

    • @TreeHouseRecovery
      @TreeHouseRecovery  Місяць тому

      Please give us a call at 855-202-2138 and we'd be happy to help navigate this situation with you