You could be the juiciest, ripest, sweetest, plumpest, most perfect tasting and looking peach in the world, and there will still be people out there who don't like peaches. Don't compare yourself to others!
Z because people are entitled to like or dislike whatever they want. Is there nothing in the world you don’t like? Someone else could be upset that you don’t like that thing. See how silly it is?
I have been modeling mostly in Asia and this is not exaggerated at all. I don't regret modeling but I would not let my daughter go abroad for modeling lol.
I modeled for ten years only just stopped in 2019 to start university. I didn't realized how much modeling stressed me out until I told my mother agency I pausing for a while to start school. The relief from not needing to meet someone else's standard was intense. I have spent a lot of time modeling throughout Asia so my work stories are quite similar to yours. Thanks for being real. I will be definitely sharing this video when people ask me about what modeling is really like.
hi i have a question, im 18 yo and 169 cm and i would love to be a model in asia (since im too short to be a model here) and i was wondering how can i apply for modeling in korea (for example) since im from balkan county and i don’t rlly know how to apply?
As a model struggling with their own self image and constantly comparing myself to others I come across in different jobs, thank you for this. I needed to hear this
I really really wanted to say that if you wanna be a model, make SURE that someone, not from your agency, that you trust 100% and feel safe with will stay with you during the shootings and auditions. If the photographer or casting director refuses ti have someone with you, then they're probably people you shouldn't trust or work with. As a model I've been sex harassed by a photographer I thought I trust cause I worked a lot with him, finally he did terrifying things to me, and today I am still fighting with my traumas. I think your gender doesn't really matter in this industry, I've heard many men has been harassed and many women has been harassing. So please please please be careful, even when you think you're strong enough to say no, sometimes the pressure you get is way more stronger than you.
I swear to god this woman is aging backwards. I found you when you were a jvlogger. I thought you were in your early twenties at most. I love how open you were about your struggles. You were open about wanting to look perfect. And the slow transition was a fresh air in the lifestyle/ beauty community in YT.
@@raygin6581 aren't you a fun one. I meant the slow transition, was the fresh air. In her older videos you can see her struggle between wanting to project a perfect image versus her real weird self.
"aging backwards". I completely disagree unless you're referring to to her baby transformation video. I think Taylor has progressed and grown wonderfully
@@radiogagaxx that's even worse. Taylor literally made a whole video about pressures on having to be and look young to be competitive and OP just ignored it, implying and affirming that youthful=beautiful. Surely, instead of saying "don't worry guurrlll, you still look young", you should be saying "I like this mature look/ there's charm in your style/ you're growing into your skin and I like it" or just not commenting at all. There's a lot of hidden effort to keep up appearances, and such comments (especially on this video) are just obnoxious and condescending. "Aging backwards" is completely unrealistic goal and nobody should feel like they have to uphold that, neither should anyone have to feel offended or defensive about aging. "Aging" is not an insult and defying it is not "perfection", aging is a part of life.
I can sense how difficult was for you to talk about this...but look how much have you grown in the last 10 years! You show a lot of maturity and Im glad you are talking to your younger followers so they can understand that success doesn't just "appear" out of nowhere. Life took you to the other side of the world and you found there your soulmate. Im sure healing is in process right now in your life and the best things are still to come to you. Keep going girl!
Great video. I am 33 and am just starting college to be an Engineer. Life happens, but that does not mean that a certain age or career has to define your whole life. Be open to change and cherish yourself because you will be with you way longer than any job or status will.
I think this just goes to show that what one sees on social media and in general is not what's really going on. Things can easily look picturesque but the reality is not what you may think! Thank you for being transparent about it
Nobody is really happy. Everything has ups and downs, negative and positive. Its better to be thankful either way because we can minimize our negative thoughts that way.
I remember you from my first modeling trip in HK in 2012! it is crazy, time flies. We where in the same agency, I remember you where sitting alone in a office, I was thinking such a pretty girl with sad eyes, but I didn’t had courage to say hi 😅
Taylor R So happy that you reply ! I’m in my country Lithuania. Also now I’m in another side of camera 😁 I’m fashion photographer now and also not doing modeling that much anymore because of the pretty much the same reasons that you mention in this video. I finished my university last year and my final project was about dark and true side of modeling ! I found your channel few years ago and I’m still watching because it seems like I know you but actually not hahah. Hong Kong was my favorite place I ever visited! I hope one day we can meet for coffee and talk 💌
hi i have a question, im 18 yo and 169 cm and i would love to be a model in asia (since im too short to be a model here) and i was wondering how can i apply for modeling in korea (for example) since im from balkan county and i don’t rlly know how to apply?
Modeling is a career, but like any other career it has its good employers and bad employers. Beyond social media and news outlets, I have no knowledge of that life. This video presented realities. While no one should be scared away from modeling, I am glad that this video emphasized that one should go into it prepared. As models do often begin their careers so young, ethical guardians are also essential. Thanks go to Taylor for being so honest and so open.
Yagmur Cabuk poprock saturday already said this but yeah they wrote it together. A few songs were written by Finneas only like When the Party’s Over. It seems from Billie’s history with depression, the song was more about her experience and how she felt about herself.
Billie needs to go speak to a Licensed therapist than let her brother exploit her cause seriously if her emotions are so hurt go work on yourself rather than trying to be a Hypocrite
James Provost She did go to a therapist. She talked about it in an interview and she’s much better now. Her growth from it is shown in the song “my future”
This is the most realistic heart felt conversation about modeling I’ve ever seen. I’m part of the giant population that’s only exposure to modeling is the shallow America’s Next Top Model. So seeing just a real life perspective is so refreshing. Like I immediately have so much more respect now knowing just what hard details of life they deal with. This might be my favorite video of yours now.
Anything in the beauty industry/visual industry. Modelling, acting, even hairdressing, fashion design, mua’s. Especially when you’re behind making the beauty you’re expected to look the part like it’s a full lifestyle. You need to have good hair too, make up on point, wearing the brands you make, look expensive to make it seem like you make money. You want to be so flexible to any job but still look somewhat like yourself. The bigger people can be mean and tear you down to “gain experience” and “get tough”. The beauty industry is wild and it finds your insecurities and brings them out.
I started crying when you said "You're not starting from nothing". It hit so hard. I'm not even a model but this feeling that in a new field you're nothing and you have nothing to show for. I feel it so strongly right now (I'm planning/having a major career change and get so disheartened sometimes). Oh, Man. Thank you, Taylor, thank you
Tay, you are a delightful person. I never ever get tired of listening to your stories and watching your vlogs. I'm here for at least four years and it's wonderful to see how you grow, how you change to a more happy and healthy self.
The accomodation point is so crazy? If the model apartments are just several girls sharing a dorm with bunkbeds and shared bathrooms, you could've just booked your own flight to the uk for £400, then paid £15 a night at a hostel. That's a total of £850 and you've been in Europe for a month... and not in debt to anyone. Crazy that the model agencies rob you like this.
yes the apartments probably belong to the agency, they just want that extra ££, most models are just young clueless girls, they will just do what they been told
In fact modeling's lifespan is just short. How many shows u could run, n how many new faces they need. It usually turn out some models being playmates with the rich ppl. As Taylor described, These ppl running this businness exactly same like prostitution ring. U get debts, then hopelessly need to sleep with some rich they introduce u.
鬼妹仔Dakota Yep, it’s trafficking with lots of false promises.Taylor shows signs of being from a connected family though. She serves the agenda, especially with that obligatory vax video.
I found you back in 2016 because I kept wondering, "Who's that weird-looking doll in my suggested videos?" but you won me over when you told a story about farting in front of Tom. 😂 It's been fun watching your metamorphosis.
@@KitchenWitchery No, but they'll usually get into debt that they need to pay off. Debt from traveling expenses and such, which are totally bogus, but still a debt the human traffickers refer to.
The model industry seems extremely hard. I can't imagine the amount of stress you have experienced. I feel that mental health is super important, especially these days with social media. Everyone shows their perfect self and shows their perfect life. For a while I was comparing myself with these people, it took me some time to realize that everyone is different and we all need to accept ourselves as we are.
Very good point. Living with social medias, weither you are a teen, a model or actress/actor, etc, you are putting yourself in front of others eyes, and they can send you back the good AND /OR the Bad and the UGLY. ! You need to build yourself , havve good self-esteem!!!👍😀
thank you for opening up like that, Taylor ❤️I think especially young people who wish to be models don't always have a full grasp on the realities and potential horrors that come with the job and you explained it so well with your own personal experiences. This was so much more than just the dangers of modelling, thank you for sharing this with us! ❤️❤️❤️
i'm working as an artist in animation, but I feel that this advice can apply to it as well. I'm also a perfectionist. Comparison and doubt are the destroyers of creativity and self fulfillment. We all try to achieve "happiness" in life, but that is not found by looking outwards for validation, and not by pursuing a fleeting idea of "success", since your bar for success is constantly raised as you go through life. There will be many disappointments and failures along the way, but it's learning to not take those personally. It's not who "you" are.
Hearing you talking about sacrificing yourself for others, I really felt that. I’m glad you’re your real self now, Taylor. I’ve been watching you for YEARS, I’m a lot younger than you but I always looked up to you, and I especially admire you now. I’m so happy for you and your growth
I'm so glad you became real Taylor with us and most importantly with yourself. (To be honest I'm kind of scared of your dolly look. But that's just me being scared of unnatural things) It's so nice seeing you happy and true
So glad you shared your story. "Average" people are often considered lacking compared to models. We often forget that models are human too. Great models have the ability to become an amazing canvas for runways, ads, etc. This doesn't mean they don't have flaws or struggles nor does it mean they don't have to work hard. I'm glad modeling is no longer your career. You have so much more to offer than just a face or a walk and I'm glad you made the move to UA-cam. I wonder if you realize how much you've impacted the people around you and your subscribers throughout the years. The latest TayTay version is my favorite cause it's the most down to earth, silliest, creative and just very kind.
As a 21 year old fashion photographer going into studying my masters, I saw the attitudes from my BA lecturer asking why I was shooting with women of all shapes and sizes rather than someone thinner which really upset me since I was styling and being my own hair and mua, being a curvier gal myself it's hard to see them want to see thinner models despite my emphases on wanting to show people as they are much like companies like SavageXFenty. It's hard to make a dent on the industry standards but with time creatives hopefully will.
Commenting for the first time here.. just had to especially the part where you said ‘how one can look so confident on the outside and yet be so incredibly insecure on the inside AT THE SAME TIME’ this stirred something in me so much so I started tearing 😭😢 appreciate how real you are with us Taylor ❤️
Ive followed your online presence from the beginning and Ive changed just as much as you. sometime I forget that we don’t actually know each other. I often think of you as a really close friend; sometimes an imaginary friend I made up in my head, having the complete opposite, glamorous life as me. then I remember you’re real, and it’s a one sided admiration. But you, unknowingly, got me through a lot. No matter what was going on in my life I could tune out and tune in to yours. The good and the bad. Thank you for sharing a tiny part of your life. Your words are powerful. I’m excited for the future no matter what’s around the corner, for both of us. Thank you Taylor.
I love how so many of your points apply to regular life in general, not just to modeling. Living a life so obsessed with your outer, physical appearance and how it lives up to other's standards is absolutely detrimental in every way. Thank you for sharing not only the overall dangers, but your personal struggles. I think it will help a lot of people!
Just wanted to share my experience of modeling in asia. To preface, youll meet great people along the way and will probs have a great time. But if you're modeling in Asia be prepared to be exploited and expected to work long hours. In modeling world, contracts are designed to benefit the agency not you. And even they don't completely oblige by it, so the whole industry kinda just runs over you. When it comes to pay, it's almost non existent. Imagine working and not getting a paycheck for 2-3 months, and u having to be the one to chase it up bc ur agency would not bother to pay u if u don't . the agency advances payments to some models but if u chose to come on ur own accord (bc it works out to be cheaper bc u can fly budget airlines, find cheaper accommodation, etc) then u might find urself living like a broke college student, budgeting every meal. Even when u work almost everyday you'll find that you will starve. The industry really isn't glamorous and what u see online is usually for the top 1% supermodels. In reality, models don't make much despite working a lot. That said it is a good experience if u wanna travel, it is a bit of a flex to show that u fly for work (but that's the reality, it's just a flex. It really isn't that career building. You will need to branch out and do other things if u model. It's hard to just model full time)
@@alisaalisa2060 it's from either the allowances they give you or your own savings. The agencies don't normally care about your finances (and mine even stole from me) so you have to just bite the bullet and keep pestering them for the money they quote you. Hope that gave context.
Can totally relate. The whole thing is so unfair, not me but another model I knew was working every day but sadly only doing editorial (they don't pay much). She spent 3 months working all the time (in addition to castings which we don't get paid for) and got home with no money. She broke even and that was it. I felt so bad for her. And from the outside, I was low key envious, cause all I knew was, "she works every day "...
Modeling contracts sounds a lot like Idol slave contracts 😬 The entertainment companies “invest” in the Idol’s training and then the idol has to pay them back 😬😬 Great video 👍 It was interesting to hear about your experience 😁
I always wanted to try modeling. I was scouted a lot as a kid. But my mom never did because she knew it would mess me up mentally. I know that agencies pick young model purposely because they know they’re easier to control and manipulate. Now I’m more mature and want to try it, but I’ve probably aged out.
Although I've never been interested in modelling this video was incredibly interesting and honest and full of lessons which imo can be applied anywhere. You are like one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen and thinking you have been that insecure is crazy. You are so strong for talking about all of this and being vulnerable! I'm sure you're helping a lot of girls, not only aspiring models.
I’ve been watching your videos since I was 25. Hard to imagine it’s been this long. But at 31 I appreciate this kind of content. This reflection on your past makes me realize how much I’ve been through and how much I’ve grown. Something just kind of fell into place at 30 and it just felt easier to be myself. Flaws and all. ♥️♥️ I feel like I’ve grown with you!
As someone who has been following you since your dolly days, it's so refreshing to see you talk about putting on a certain persona on UA-cam and your insecurity that you carried over from your modeling days. I do regret thinking poorly of you 4-5 years ago, but watching this video, I see such a different person than the person I was initially keeping up with in 2015/2016. Your thirties look good on you Taylor!
I couldn't agree more... The model work got to me and I was so self-conscious by the end of it.. So now I'm a musician at a bar 🤣 life works in funny ways🤔 thank you so much for sharing 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞
In terms of a body image video, something I've found interesting is the concept of body neutrality, instead of body positivity. So, like, the idea that not every body needs to be beautiful and that we don't need to only value ourselves for our appearance. Bodies can be strong, resilient, dependable. They help us achieve things in life. Idk if I'm articulating this very well, but if you look up "body neutrality" you can find better explanations. 💕
“ You’re not starting over, you’re starting from your experiences. “ That is so well said and I thank you for sharing as it applies to many aspects & facets of our lives. Many a time the externally imposed timelines for success are determined by individuals with a narrow scope of what material success is. In my mid thirties I’ve come to realise success is already within, and that money isn’t the only currency ~ more so it’s the intangibles like love, loyalty, integrity and strength of character through setbacks that are the real achievements. I also see why having a family is important to you and hubby at this stage and wish you both the best in health and wholeness. #BeBlessed.💛
I had no idea the debt burden in the modeling industry was so predatory! That's crazy that they make you pay back living expenses. It should just be considered a business expense to them. It honestly sounds a lot like an internship (not actually getting paid for your work, and your essentially paying money out of your own pocket for "work experience").
Thank you for talking about these things Models often talk about how to get in and how to get jobs and everything, and yeah they talk about body issues, but the pressure is definitely beyond that
I remember back in time my model agent told me that i needed to lose weight that i should be embarrassed of looking like this at my age (17) and now then years later i look at my pictures and i was very skinny and all this time i thought i was too chubby. They honestly screwed with my mind..
Omg. The exact same thing happened to me. I am 174 and weighed 54 kilogram and people told me I was fat and I believed them. I truly thought I was obese
My sister did modeling about 10 years ago and I will never forget her going to Hong Kong.. she Skyped us only crying, I think the first night she arrived her wallet got stolen (which was very expensive gift from her husband) in a shop and her friends bag too. Then she told us that people who lived in a model apartment were very dirty, always stole their food etc. I felt so bad for her, that she went all exited, but ended up crying almost every night. If she wasn’t crying - she was partying. I remember her telling about these jobs like you said, when they would have to be standing on a event all pretty and it’s so sketchy. After she quit modeling and did only local jobs here and there. Now I’m photographer and seeing her like that made me super anxious for my models, I always ask them billions of times about everything, if they’re comfortable, ask to tell me if something isn’t okay and to make sure to show them I care about them as people. Coz for many models are just “hangers”.
Taylor R try my best! And thank YOU for actually speaking about this side of modeling. I know it’s challenging for many coz people take it as being not thankful for the “amazing” life of a model. It makes me feel better that younger people and their parents can find this and be more careful if they think of modeling career. Also for us, who work with models, it’s very important to see honesty and how models feel.
I can't imagine how deeply 3 is ingrained especially in the modeling industry, but I resonate with 3 so much. I HAD TO wait to do anything I wanted to do, simply because of cost and the way systems are set up here in 'Murica. Even before I've accomplished anything at all, I already feel like I've failed just because of how old I am.
When I was 15 I got casted by an agency, they wanted me to loose weight (I was quite shocked bc I considered myself thin my entire life) and I did loose the weight. But that wasn’t enough and my mental health went down the drain, I developed an eating disorder etc.. Now 5 years later I’m doing a lot better and I’m kind of gratefull I didn’t end up modelling, the industry would have destroyed me
Love the honesty of this video and you giving us another side of an occupation that many think is so glamorous. It’s such an invaluable service you are providing to the younger generation.
I'm just glad that you are where you are right now, the mentality you have now, thank you for sharing, I'm pretty sure you can help a lot a people by your testimony.
Everytime you just talk to the camera and open up I feel so grateful I met you. This was so brave, Tay. Losing yourself that much sounds so scary, but you made it till now. You did so good. While are you becoming every day more a role model for me and other young people, I always think about how my life changed since I discovered your channel. How I changed? What have I achieved? How I see myself now? Am I happier? Am I wiser? Everytime feels like you are a long time friend you meet again after few years or months and you make me realise a bit more who I am and where all started. Thank you, Tay. I send you a lot of love as always 💕
I followed you since your “doll days” and I’m glad you’ve grown a lot. Not saying that that it was bad, but your image of a living doll really did affect me and many others young girls as well, for sure. You fitted well for Asian beauty standards, so I thought if I could be just like you, people would love me more. But then you confessed yourself and that made me realise we all struggle with our image, and trying to fit into certain standards will not make us happy. Thank you for telling the truth, it means a lot.
Easily one of my favorite videos pf yours. Your honesty, humility, and genuine heart is so precious and a gift you so willingly share. These are such brilliant lessons for all walks of life. Thank you for all you do.
I first saw your channel when I was living in Japan then I moved HK and continued to follow your channel and even saw you in my office building. What a transformation and journey of growth.. thank you for putting your authentic self to the world.
This is such a brave video and it couldn't have been easy to open up about all this. So massive kudos to you. You are who you are now because of everything you've experienced. Just wanted to tell you that yes you're gorgeous but what's even more gorgeous is your kind, calm and goofy personality. You matter and you make a difference. 10/10 would recommend the book 12 Rules of life by Jordan Peterson. He's one of the most famous psychologists in the world and gives such a unique perspective on life in his book. Massive hugs and all the love for you.
Taylor, I discovered you/your channel when you were in Japan! I used to be a huge weeb and would watch YT vids of foreigners who lived there haha :) If you ever feel like making a video specifically about that time in your life, I know I wouldn’t be the only one interested in hearing about it! It sounds like that was a very unique time in your life and would make for a good video on its own. But that’s for you to decide if course :) I’m 27, also beyond the age of modeling so this video’s info doesn’t pertain to me but I still really enjoyed watching and learning :)
That was very interesting - just as a woman who is much older (just turned 40) who is pretty comfortable in themselves, but still sometimes struggles with appearance, confidence - its really great to have young women talk about their experiences, the good, the bad and the ugly. My point is you are never to young or old to learn from someone and i think as women we need to talk to each other and listen to each other’s experiences without judgment. Anyway, thank you for shining a light on something I’ve never really thought about, but found fascinating.
This describes perfectly the arts and entertainment industries particularly Japan. When I see this I cannot avoid thinking of Haruma Miura... and what he must have been going through to commit suicide like that. Thank you Taylor... for posting this and take your time to talk about topics that are a bit bumpier for you we will be ready when you are :) Hugs from Vancouver.
Yes. I actually have had the privilege of working with him before (about 10 years ago) and he was such a kind, hard-working person. The drama he was in about ALS “The Hours of My Life” is one of my favourites. Incredibly talented actor with a heart-breaking story. May he rest in peace
I really wish I had a way to connect and give you personal information outside of a public comment. I think it is absolutely wonderful that you are spreading awareness. As someone who has suffered from body dysmorphia and other similar issues I would love to give you some insights on what I know, what I’ve learned, through medical professionals and my own experiences. As it is though I can only say thank you. Thank you for your empathy, for your care and thank you for useing your platforms for what matters and not just the fun fluff we all need from time to time.
I've been watching you for yeeeaaars (pretty much since the beginning) & I'm proud of your mental growth! stay true to your personality, stay healthy, be happy
I’ve always wanted to be a model, it was kind of a dream of mine so you could imagine how happy I was when one day an agent from Wilhelmina and another one from IMG messaged me on Instagram... I was freaking out, I sent them polaroids and measurements, everything they asked for. But they’ve never answered back and I’ve felt heartbroken ever since, because I know it was my last and only chance. Maybe it was my height (5’6) or my age (i was 23 at that time) idk, but it still hurts deep inside that for some reason I wasn’t good enough for them. Videos like these really help me accept that maybe it happened like this for the better. This industry is so toxic and it would have definitely caused me some life-long trauma. So thanks for making this video, it’s really helped me change my mindset 🙏
I think it’s really valuable to speak on this Taylor. I think the industry can be really damaging and dangerous. Some of the most stunning models in the world are the most insecure women as the industry rips them apart. It can really hurt young people. You are such a beautiful person inside and out and I’m glad you shared your story
This is so interesting. I had an agency in Toronto for about a year when I was in my teens and they kept trying to send me to japan because I’m also “short” (5’7”); I wonder if it’s the same. I had to say no because of school. It’s funny to think of how life might have been different 😅💛
I wanted to hug you so bad while watching this! You went through a lot when you were still quite young, even a bit younger than me and I can't imagine how much stress you must've been in. I'm so glad that you seem to be in a much healthier place now. I found your channel a few years back and still remember your transition you've had and how much you struggled with it. Getting rid of your contact lenses etc. I'm really truly proud of you. Please stay happy and healthy! 🥺
I started watching your videos many many years ago when you had that cute style. I really liked you then and I really like you now :) I could see you were suffering and I’m very happy to hear your story now, it’s very inspiring. I’m a singer and I struggle with similar things sometimes so I was really happy to hear your advice. Thank you Taylor💕💕 I hope you keep growing! 🌈
If you like this video, and want another person’s experience - Cruel World Happy Mind also speaks about this. Not a model but I found both videos incredibly eye opening
I’ve been watching you for about 3-4 years and I usually never comment. But I just want to say thank you so much for sharing your story and struggles. It really helps us to put things into perspective in our own lives and so glad to be able to see you grow so much over the years , appreciate your videos always ❤️
Taylor this is such an emotional video to watch. To see you open up about these things that are so obviously personal and emotional for you as well. Thank you for sharing yourself with us and putting yourself out there and being vulnerable for your followers to know your past and experiences. I’ve never really felt this level of connection to someone’s UA-cam videos before. ♥️
Taylor, I really admire that you've made this video. It's a quit difficult topic to talk about, and I respect the way you talked about it and your honesty. I think you're a great role model! And I hope your mental health (and overal health) will stay good. Thank you Taylor! Love from the Netherlands
As long as you're comfortable with it, I know I for one would love if you dived more into the details of your modeling career and all the specifics associated with it. ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for keeping it real, Taylor. You help more people than you realize to be a better version of themselves. Not only do we need to not compare ourselves to others, we need to not compare ourselves to who we think we should be at this point in time. Just started listening to the book Girl Wash Your Face, and I am liking what I’ve heard so far.
Oof. I remember watching a documentary about South Korean models a while back. It was honestly really scary. These women (and/mostly girls) are thrown into almost complete isolation with zero financial control over their lives. The amount of stress and sadness these women experienced was heartbreaking. But, when you see these beautiful people on billboards - that aspect never even enters your mind. You’re so entranced with these beautiful people, that it’s hard to imagine them not living wealthy care-free lives.
you are such an inspiration! I've been watching your channel since early days and to hear you out in this video made me feel human. for the first time in my life i feel so lost that to hear your journey and all the ups and downs made me feel like i want to take a jorney myself. thank you taylor
It's funny how I relate to you a lot when you talk about these things, but not because I got into modelling. I was a late bloomer, had low self-esteem growing up and I was bullied in school because I looked like an easy target who couldn't stand up for herself. In a way it made me develop certain unhealthy belief systems, like being so hung up on other people's opinion of me (Until now I still struggle with it tbh but I'm honest to god working hard to change it) and being anxious about how I look. As a young adult now, I still get surprised when people compliment me because of how I look thinking they don't really mean it. No one never really knew this because I learned how to appear confident on the outside when I was still struggling to manifest that fake confidence inside. I believe in the saying "fake it till you make it" tbh. I'm so glad when you mentioned this in the video bec I've never met someone who was in that weird paradox too. Thank you for making this video, Taylor. It made me feel less alone and oddly, in a way, kind of understood. It's okay if you take your time in making a video about body dysmorphia and your relationship w food, it's great that you'd rather be educated about it first. Take care always Taylor! ♡
Your beautiful, I’m sorry you went through so much:( me too tbh, but through ur comment I can see ur a brave girl, keep eating healthy and loving yourself! We can get there where we are happy with our body and our relationship with food xxx
So many important messages and good advice, even for people who don't model or are related to the industry. I'm so glad you are the genuine person you are now!
Great video Taylor! I’m glad that you’re bringing these issues to light. I think most people have a mindset that modeling is a dream job- with traveling, fancy clothes, fancy food, foreign countries, makeup, etc with all expenses paid and making bank to fly around the world and look beautiful while people photograph you. I’m proud that you’ve opened up and shared the real deal of what goes on. Bravo! 💕
I have been watching your videos for years now, I remember when i started, you were still in the doll personna and i was very intrigued by you... I could feel that you were more than this doll like naïve and sweet figure and i think that is why i watched you. I remember when you began to change your ways, i was quite happy for you, it felt like you were happier and more yourself (I always like your videos with Sharla because of this, you seemed more relaxed with her) . It's kind of crazy to see you now, almost a different person, you seem more fulfilled than ever and it's really nice to see that ! I can imagine that you're still struggling with your image but i'm sure it will get better as you learn to know and appreciate yourself for what you really are. And now you have a beautiful family to think about, so much happiness to come !
I've been working with image for almost 3 years. Never planned really to do that, everything was very crazy when i started, and everything you said is real. I´ve done some commercials and stuff, nothing really into fashion because my measurements never were fully accepted . And the hate and abuse (mental, physical, and FINANCIAL) you received for working with those things can really be damaging. I believe that one day models are really going to be protected from this violences, but until it start to happen we need to expose the reality and search/fight for healthy work conditions
I know how hard it can be to speak up but try your best when things aren’t right. Continue to work on the relationship with yourself and get in a good place in terms of self love, that’s so important.
Thank you for your endnotes on there being no expiry date on your goals / dreams.. I am 29 and sometimes I wonder that I'm turning 30 next year and I still have no idea what the hell I'm doing. We looked at houses this year too and everything felt too expensive as well and put me in to a spiral on top of all of the COVID mess. Deep breaths.. no expiry.
About 10 years ago I ran a service on a university campus (USA), and hired an undergrad as my assistant. The best applicant was a very beautiful young woman, tall, poised, and put together. And intelligent -- a marketing major. Over time, as we worked together, she shared about how, during high school, she trained to be a model, was in a state-level beauty pageant, took classes on posture, walking, etc. I asked her why she didn't become a model, since so many girls would want to do that (including me, in younger days). She said after all that training, an agency told her needed to lose weight to be competitive -- and believe me, she was slender as it was. She said the agencies pick you apart, criticize every little thing, and insist that girls be emaciated. She just refused to be treated that way. So she earned her B.A. in marketing, and after school got hired to be on the management track at first one, then another department store (she wanted to work her way up to be a fashion buyer). She was on her way. After about three years, she met a guy and decided to get married and have a family. She now has two beautiful young children, lives in a gorgeous suburban home (in the U.S.), and works as a personnel manager for a non-profit org in her city that helps people in need. I admire her so much for having her head on straight, and for avoiding the pitfalls of the modeling/beauty world. Nothing against girls who follow the modeling dream; if I'd been born with her physical assets, I doubt I'd have been as wise as she was about it. @Taylor R, I hope your message about the realities of modeling helps unsuspecting girls protect themselves from the industry's pitfalls. PS, my friend is still beautiful. She never let herself go, always looks immaculate and maintains a healthy weight. You don't have to be a model to look like a healthy version of one IRL.
I see how unhealfy modeling could : basing everything on mesurements and weight at a time where you don't really know who you are and you're still forming a sense of self-estreem cand be very detrimental in the future. As teenager, you're becoming your very own person and you need time and space to figure out who you are and who you want to be. Thank you Taylor for this open heart conversation! I followed you since Miku hatsune dance cover (Oh boi- that' was years ago) and I'm glad to seen you're becoming more fulfilled and happy every single year of your life. I'm pretty sure you'll become the happiest granny ever ... that'd be cute and fun!
Thank you for sharing your experiences! It's kind of sad to see that everyone is just trying to survive in their own way and what they're able to do. Some are more accepted than others. In the end, you can only accept your self and your limits to survive.
I love how you have modeled all over the world. Modeling in Los Angeles had its own experiences... I jumped into Aerobic/Fitness Teachers..but most people only know how it is now. For 10 years I had to audition to teach just like modeling. I decided to grow in this field and felt healtier. I am 5'7 and was 110 but because muscle it made me look 99 lbs. This is where I had to leave Veganism till I gain weight. Doctor made me. People do not know I taught 3-6 classes per day because someone did not show up so you had to do theirs. I did modern dance since I was 12 and some ofter school gymnastics (too tall)... I speed skated also but moved from Pennsylvania to California at 19. So bye to RollerDerby. I went to Modeling School and Managed a gym. Yes... You are right...YOU are not always right for that product. I got hit on and jumped on at a shoot and still have the clothes I left with. I never ever had sex with anyone and refused. I got offers to work at strip clubs to make money.. I refused. I gained to 122 and dated a photographer but he told me to loose 10lbs.. So I stop seeing him. I rented my own house because girls stole alot of my things...a top here, sunglasses... Jewelry. I am neat and did not miss place my things. I worked with Billy Blanks in his 2nd round of TaeBo... Now Im a Trainer.. I teach everything. Yoga and Pilates saved me from the body issues. ((Never go away tho)) Now I sing in choir and cantor in catholic church. I work in ministry. I got 8 core college classes through Christian Institute. But all in all Im with my Scott. He is like Tom seeing you through very stable. He is Japanese..and I found you 4-5 years ago on UA-cam. Thank you for being authentic and transparent. Love you 💎💎💎💎💎💎
I always wondered why you were going through that Doll phase, I started following you right when it was ending. It seemed so artificial and I knew you are not really it. I love your transformations and I see you transforming again. 😊💕
When she said “it’s weird how you can be so confident, but so insecure at the same time”, I got the chills. It hits so close to home.
You could be the juiciest, ripest, sweetest, plumpest, most perfect tasting and looking peach in the world, and there will still be people out there who don't like peaches. Don't compare yourself to others!
Dita Von teese quote! Lovely way of wording things!
🥺🥺🥺
Who doesn't like peaches tho? What's wrong with those people xD
Z because people are entitled to like or dislike whatever they want. Is there nothing in the world you don’t like? Someone else could be upset that you don’t like that thing. See how silly it is?
dita von teese T^T
27:00 "Never be afraid of starting over, because you are not starting from nothing. You are starting from your experience"
I have been modeling mostly in Asia and this is not exaggerated at all. I don't regret modeling but I would not let my daughter go abroad for modeling lol.
I hope you never get children's lol
Violet Venalley wow rude
@@violetvenalley Wtf
@@violetvenalley Wtf
@@violetvenalley she just said she had a daughter, and you say never get children? Common sense..
Good that you bring these things to light so youngsters dont get fooled❤
Just wanted to tell you that whatever you are doing, eating or using (skincare) you just keep looking more and more BEAUTIFUL!
It would be fascinating to hear you one day go in real depth into that doll period. The sacrifices, the madness, the modifications. No judgment.
Same.
I modeled for ten years only just stopped in 2019 to start university. I didn't realized how much modeling stressed me out until I told my mother agency I pausing for a while to start school. The relief from not needing to meet someone else's standard was intense. I have spent a lot of time modeling throughout Asia so my work stories are quite similar to yours. Thanks for being real. I will be definitely sharing this video when people ask me about what modeling is really like.
Ahhh enjoy school!! It’s not an easy choice to make to go back. Good luck in the future 🍀❤️
hi i have a question, im 18 yo and 169 cm and i would love to be a model in asia (since im too short to be a model here) and i was wondering how can i apply for modeling in korea (for example) since im from balkan county and i don’t rlly know how to apply?
As a model struggling with their own self image and constantly comparing myself to others I come across in different jobs, thank you for this. I needed to hear this
Sending you love ❤️❤️
u chose that life urself, lemme remind u
I really really wanted to say that if you wanna be a model, make SURE that someone, not from your agency, that you trust 100% and feel safe with will stay with you during the shootings and auditions. If the photographer or casting director refuses ti have someone with you, then they're probably people you shouldn't trust or work with.
As a model I've been sex harassed by a photographer I thought I trust cause I worked a lot with him, finally he did terrifying things to me, and today I am still fighting with my traumas. I think your gender doesn't really matter in this industry, I've heard many men has been harassed and many women has been harassing.
So please please please be careful, even when you think you're strong enough to say no, sometimes the pressure you get is way more stronger than you.
I’m so sorry you went through that ❤️ I hope you’re in a better place now. Thank you for sharing your story. Sending love
I swear to god this woman is aging backwards. I found you when you were a jvlogger. I thought you were in your early twenties at most. I love how open you were about your struggles. You were open about wanting to look perfect. And the slow transition was a fresh air in the lifestyle/ beauty community in YT.
Not really fresh air imo. She was trying to be perfect when that was the trend and started being more real and relateable when that got popular
@@raygin6581 aren't you a fun one. I meant the slow transition, was the fresh air. In her older videos you can see her struggle between wanting to project a perfect image versus her real weird self.
"aging backwards". I completely disagree unless you're referring to to her baby transformation video. I think Taylor has progressed and grown wonderfully
@@kpopsynced1919 I think the original poster was referring to Taylor's appearance when they said that she was "aging backwards". She is very youthful!
@@radiogagaxx that's even worse. Taylor literally made a whole video about pressures on having to be and look young to be competitive and OP just ignored it, implying and affirming that youthful=beautiful. Surely, instead of saying "don't worry guurrlll, you still look young", you should be saying "I like this mature look/ there's charm in your style/ you're growing into your skin and I like it" or just not commenting at all. There's a lot of hidden effort to keep up appearances, and such comments (especially on this video) are just obnoxious and condescending. "Aging backwards" is completely unrealistic goal and nobody should feel like they have to uphold that, neither should anyone have to feel offended or defensive about aging. "Aging" is not an insult and defying it is not "perfection", aging is a part of life.
I can sense how difficult was for you to talk about this...but look how much have you grown in the last 10 years! You show a lot of maturity and Im glad you are talking to your younger followers so they can understand that success doesn't just "appear" out of nowhere. Life took you to the other side of the world and you found there your soulmate. Im sure healing is in process right now in your life and the best things are still to come to you. Keep going girl!
Great video. I am 33 and am just starting college to be an Engineer. Life happens, but that does not mean that a certain age or career has to define your whole life. Be open to change and cherish yourself because you will be with you way longer than any job or status will.
I think this just goes to show that what one sees on social media and in general is not what's really going on. Things can easily look picturesque but the reality is not what you may think! Thank you for being transparent about it
Nobody is really happy. Everything has ups and downs, negative and positive. Its better to be thankful either way because we can minimize our negative thoughts that way.
Yup, it depends on what mindset you want to cultivate. Just take care of yourself, no matter what decisions you make in life.
I remember you from my first modeling trip in HK in 2012! it is crazy, time flies. We where in the same agency, I remember you where sitting alone in a office, I was thinking such a pretty girl with sad eyes, but I didn’t had courage to say hi 😅
Hi 8 years later 😅❤️ how did things go? Where in the world are you now? 😊
Taylor R So happy that you reply ! I’m in my country Lithuania. Also now I’m in another side of camera 😁 I’m fashion photographer now and also not doing modeling that much anymore because of the pretty much the same reasons that you mention in this video. I finished my university last year and my final project was about dark and true side of modeling ! I found your channel few years ago and I’m still watching because it seems like I know you but actually not hahah. Hong Kong was my favorite place I ever visited! I hope one day we can meet for coffee and talk 💌
hi i have a question, im 18 yo and 169 cm and i would love to be a model in asia (since im too short to be a model here) and i was wondering how can i apply for modeling in korea (for example) since im from balkan county and i don’t rlly know how to apply?
Modeling is a career, but like any other career it has its good employers and bad employers. Beyond social media and news outlets, I have no knowledge of that life. This video presented realities. While no one should be scared away from modeling, I am glad that this video emphasized that one should go into it prepared. As models do often begin their careers so young, ethical guardians are also essential. Thanks go to Taylor for being so honest and so open.
As Billie Eilish herself wrote "if teardrops could be bottled there'd be swimming pools filled by models"
Didn’t Finneas wrote the lyrics with Billie to idontwannabeyouanymore ,just saying bc i got a bit confused😅
@@yagmurcabuk8427 Finneas and Billie wrote it together, so they worked together on it.
Yagmur Cabuk poprock saturday already said this but yeah they wrote it together. A few songs were written by Finneas only like When the Party’s Over. It seems from Billie’s history with depression, the song was more about her experience and how she felt about herself.
Billie needs to go speak to a Licensed therapist than let her brother exploit her cause seriously if her emotions are so hurt go work on yourself rather than trying to be a Hypocrite
James Provost She did go to a therapist. She talked about it in an interview and she’s much better now. Her growth from it is shown in the song “my future”
This is the most realistic heart felt conversation about modeling I’ve ever seen. I’m part of the giant population that’s only exposure to modeling is the shallow America’s Next Top Model. So seeing just a real life perspective is so refreshing. Like I immediately have so much more respect now knowing just what hard details of life they deal with. This might be my favorite video of yours now.
I think modeling can break even the most secure people
Anything in the beauty industry/visual industry. Modelling, acting, even hairdressing, fashion design, mua’s. Especially when you’re behind making the beauty you’re expected to look the part like it’s a full lifestyle. You need to have good hair too, make up on point, wearing the brands you make, look expensive to make it seem like you make money. You want to be so flexible to any job but still look somewhat like yourself. The bigger people can be mean and tear you down to “gain experience” and “get tough”. The beauty industry is wild and it finds your insecurities and brings them out.
I started crying when you said "You're not starting from nothing". It hit so hard. I'm not even a model but this feeling that in a new field you're nothing and you have nothing to show for. I feel it so strongly right now (I'm planning/having a major career change and get so disheartened sometimes). Oh, Man. Thank you, Taylor, thank you
Tay, you are a delightful person. I never ever get tired of listening to your stories and watching your vlogs. I'm here for at least four years and it's wonderful to see how you grow, how you change to a more happy and healthy self.
I appreciated how you speak of perfection, appearing confident and yet so insecure. Thank you for sharing these pieces of you and your experiences.
The accomodation point is so crazy? If the model apartments are just several girls sharing a dorm with bunkbeds and shared bathrooms, you could've just booked your own flight to the uk for £400, then paid £15 a night at a hostel. That's a total of £850 and you've been in Europe for a month... and not in debt to anyone. Crazy that the model agencies rob you like this.
yes the apartments probably belong to the agency, they just want that extra ££, most models are just young clueless girls, they will just do what they been told
In fact modeling's lifespan is just short. How many shows u could run, n how many new faces they need. It usually turn out some models being playmates with the rich ppl. As Taylor described, These ppl running this businness exactly same like prostitution ring. U get debts, then hopelessly need to sleep with some rich they introduce u.
鬼妹仔Dakota Yep, it’s trafficking with lots of false promises.Taylor shows signs of being from a connected family though. She serves the agenda, especially with that obligatory vax video.
I found you back in 2016 because I kept wondering, "Who's that weird-looking doll in my suggested videos?" but you won me over when you told a story about farting in front of Tom. 😂 It's been fun watching your metamorphosis.
Lmao I love that that is what reeled you in 😂❤️ thanks for sticking around!
I appreciate how you show your vulnerability in front of the camera and I see how much you have grown throughout the years!
The debt-thing makes this sound almost like human trafficking (or what human traffickers do).
@@KitchenWitchery No, but they'll usually get into debt that they need to pay off. Debt from traveling expenses and such, which are totally bogus, but still a debt the human traffickers refer to.
The model industry seems extremely hard. I can't imagine the amount of stress you have experienced. I feel that mental health is super important, especially these days with social media. Everyone shows their perfect self and shows their perfect life. For a while I was comparing myself with these people, it took me some time to realize that everyone is different and we all need to accept ourselves as we are.
Very good point. Living with social medias, weither you are a teen, a model or actress/actor, etc, you are putting yourself in front of others eyes, and they can send you back the good AND /OR the Bad and the UGLY. ! You need to build yourself , havve good self-esteem!!!👍😀
Fun fact, I've never seen an ugly person in my life, maybe because most people have a very bright inner light that shines through the physical.
thank you for opening up like that, Taylor ❤️I think especially young people who wish to be models don't always have a full grasp on the realities and potential horrors that come with the job and you explained it so well with your own personal experiences. This was so much more than just the dangers of modelling, thank you for sharing this with us! ❤️❤️❤️
Tay be like "I was 20"
Me: she looks 18 now !! XD
i'm working as an artist in animation, but I feel that this advice can apply to it as well. I'm also a perfectionist. Comparison and doubt are the destroyers of creativity and self fulfillment. We all try to achieve "happiness" in life, but that is not found by looking outwards for validation, and not by pursuing a fleeting idea of "success", since your bar for success is constantly raised as you go through life. There will be many disappointments and failures along the way, but it's learning to not take those personally. It's not who "you" are.
Hearing you talking about sacrificing yourself for others, I really felt that. I’m glad you’re your real self now, Taylor. I’ve been watching you for YEARS, I’m a lot younger than you but I always looked up to you, and I especially admire you now. I’m so happy for you and your growth
Omg!Do you guys know that she is 32 y.o. right now? I thought Taylor was in her early 20's!She looks so young and beutiful 😍
Well, 32 is not old..
@@Motherofpearl_ To teens, that's ancient.
Thirties? We might as well start stocking up on compression socks and get our walking sticks bedazzled.
@@nothankyouthanksforasking Teens are so immature because of that lmao 😂
Not having to manicure yourself constantly feels so freeing!
I'm so glad you became real Taylor with us and most importantly with yourself. (To be honest I'm kind of scared of your dolly look. But that's just me being scared of unnatural things) It's so nice seeing you happy and true
So glad you shared your story. "Average" people are often considered lacking compared to models. We often forget that models are human too. Great models have the ability to become an amazing canvas for runways, ads, etc. This doesn't mean they don't have flaws or struggles nor does it mean they don't have to work hard. I'm glad modeling is no longer your career. You have so much more to offer than just a face or a walk and I'm glad you made the move to UA-cam. I wonder if you realize how much you've impacted the people around you and your subscribers throughout the years. The latest TayTay version is my favorite cause it's the most down to earth, silliest, creative and just very kind.
As a 21 year old fashion photographer going into studying my masters, I saw the attitudes from my BA lecturer asking why I was shooting with women of all shapes and sizes rather than someone thinner which really upset me since I was styling and being my own hair and mua, being a curvier gal myself it's hard to see them want to see thinner models despite my emphases on wanting to show people as they are much like companies like SavageXFenty. It's hard to make a dent on the industry standards but with time creatives hopefully will.
Commenting for the first time here.. just had to especially the part where you said ‘how one can look so confident on the outside and yet be so incredibly insecure on the inside AT THE SAME TIME’ this stirred something in me so much so I started tearing 😭😢 appreciate how real you are with us Taylor ❤️
Same!
Ive followed your online presence from the beginning and Ive changed just as much as you. sometime I forget that we don’t actually know each other. I often think of you as a really close friend; sometimes an imaginary friend I made up in my head, having the complete opposite, glamorous life as me. then I remember you’re real, and it’s a one sided admiration. But you, unknowingly, got me through a lot. No matter what was going on in my life I could tune out and tune in to yours. The good and the bad. Thank you for sharing a tiny part of your life. Your words are powerful. I’m excited for the future no matter what’s around the corner, for both of us. Thank you Taylor.
I love how so many of your points apply to regular life in general, not just to modeling. Living a life so obsessed with your outer, physical appearance and how it lives up to other's standards is absolutely detrimental in every way. Thank you for sharing not only the overall dangers, but your personal struggles. I think it will help a lot of people!
Just wanted to share my experience of modeling in asia. To preface, youll meet great people along the way and will probs have a great time. But if you're modeling in Asia be prepared to be exploited and expected to work long hours. In modeling world, contracts are designed to benefit the agency not you. And even they don't completely oblige by it, so the whole industry kinda just runs over you. When it comes to pay, it's almost non existent. Imagine working and not getting a paycheck for 2-3 months, and u having to be the one to chase it up bc ur agency would not bother to pay u if u don't . the agency advances payments to some models but if u chose to come on ur own accord (bc it works out to be cheaper bc u can fly budget airlines, find cheaper accommodation, etc) then u might find urself living like a broke college student, budgeting every meal. Even when u work almost everyday you'll find that you will starve. The industry really isn't glamorous and what u see online is usually for the top 1% supermodels. In reality, models don't make much despite working a lot. That said it is a good experience if u wanna travel, it is a bit of a flex to show that u fly for work (but that's the reality, it's just a flex. It really isn't that career building. You will need to branch out and do other things if u model. It's hard to just model full time)
And if they don't pay you for 3 months how can you pay the rent ?
@@alisaalisa2060 it's from either the allowances they give you or your own savings. The agencies don't normally care about your finances (and mine even stole from me) so you have to just bite the bullet and keep pestering them for the money they quote you. Hope that gave context.
@@quirkygal5575 sad to hear abt your unpleasant experience
@Lily Valac modeling is a real job 🙃 I also have a 'real' 9-5 job before and after modeling if that's what you're referring to lol
Can totally relate. The whole thing is so unfair, not me but another model I knew was working every day but sadly only doing editorial (they don't pay much). She spent 3 months working all the time (in addition to castings which we don't get paid for) and got home with no money. She broke even and that was it. I felt so bad for her.
And from the outside, I was low key envious, cause all I knew was, "she works every day "...
Modeling contracts sounds a lot like Idol slave contracts 😬 The entertainment companies “invest” in the Idol’s training and then the idol has to pay them back 😬😬 Great video 👍 It was interesting to hear about your experience 😁
I need to hug you, you made me cry 🥺😭 I love how you have grown so much and you have more self esteem ❤
I always wanted to try modeling. I was scouted a lot as a kid. But my mom never did because she knew it would mess me up mentally. I know that agencies pick young model purposely because they know they’re easier to control and manipulate. Now I’m more mature and want to try it, but I’ve probably aged out.
I've watched sooo many documentaries about Marilyn Monroe lately. So tragic
Although I've never been interested in modelling this video was incredibly interesting and honest and full of lessons which imo can be applied anywhere. You are like one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen and thinking you have been that insecure is crazy. You are so strong for talking about all of this and being vulnerable! I'm sure you're helping a lot of girls, not only aspiring models.
I’ve been watching your videos since I was 25. Hard to imagine it’s been this long. But at 31 I appreciate this kind of content. This reflection on your past makes me realize how much I’ve been through and how much I’ve grown. Something just kind of fell into place at 30 and it just felt easier to be myself. Flaws and all. ♥️♥️ I feel like I’ve grown with you!
As someone who has been following you since your dolly days, it's so refreshing to see you talk about putting on a certain persona on UA-cam and your insecurity that you carried over from your modeling days. I do regret thinking poorly of you 4-5 years ago, but watching this video, I see such a different person than the person I was initially keeping up with in 2015/2016. Your thirties look good on you Taylor!
Everyone should watch this and be grateful that someone’s kind enough to share this. Thanks Taylor 👍🏻
I couldn't agree more... The model work got to me and I was so self-conscious by the end of it.. So now I'm a musician at a bar 🤣 life works in funny ways🤔 thank you so much for sharing 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞
In terms of a body image video, something I've found interesting is the concept of body neutrality, instead of body positivity. So, like, the idea that not every body needs to be beautiful and that we don't need to only value ourselves for our appearance. Bodies can be strong, resilient, dependable. They help us achieve things in life. Idk if I'm articulating this very well, but if you look up "body neutrality" you can find better explanations. 💕
“ You’re not starting over, you’re starting from your experiences. “
That is so well said and I thank you for sharing as it applies to many aspects & facets of our lives. Many a time the externally imposed timelines for success are determined by individuals with a narrow scope of what material success is. In my mid thirties I’ve come to realise success is already within, and that money isn’t the only currency ~ more so it’s the intangibles like love, loyalty, integrity and strength of character through setbacks that are the real achievements. I also see why having a family is important to you and hubby at this stage and wish you both the best in health and wholeness. #BeBlessed.💛
Putting out some incredible content lately tay!!
I had no idea the debt burden in the modeling industry was so predatory! That's crazy that they make you pay back living expenses. It should just be considered a business expense to them. It honestly sounds a lot like an internship (not actually getting paid for your work, and your essentially paying money out of your own pocket for "work experience").
Sounds like human trafficking to me
Thank you for talking about these things
Models often talk about how to get in and how to get jobs and everything, and yeah they talk about body issues, but the pressure is definitely beyond that
I remember back in time my model agent told me that i needed to lose weight that i should be embarrassed of looking like this at my age (17) and now then years later i look at my pictures and i was very skinny and all this time i thought i was too chubby. They honestly screwed with my mind..
😣❤️ I’m so sorry that happened to you, that’s such a horrible thing to say to someone
@@Taylor_R Thank you Taylor, your words and this video meant a lot to me x
Omg. The exact same thing happened to me. I am 174 and weighed 54 kilogram and people told me I was fat and I believed them. I truly thought I was obese
My sister did modeling about 10 years ago and I will never forget her going to Hong Kong.. she Skyped us only crying, I think the first night she arrived her wallet got stolen (which was very expensive gift from her husband) in a shop and her friends bag too. Then she told us that people who lived in a model apartment were very dirty, always stole their food etc. I felt so bad for her, that she went all exited, but ended up crying almost every night. If she wasn’t crying - she was partying. I remember her telling about these jobs like you said, when they would have to be standing on a event all pretty and it’s so sketchy.
After she quit modeling and did only local jobs here and there.
Now I’m photographer and seeing her like that made me super anxious for my models, I always ask them billions of times about everything, if they’re comfortable, ask to tell me if something isn’t okay and to make sure to show them I care about them as people. Coz for many models are just “hangers”.
I’m glad she’s in a better place and thank you for taking the extra effort to make sure models are comfortable, that’s really kind of you ❤️
Taylor R try my best! And thank YOU for actually speaking about this side of modeling. I know it’s challenging for many coz people take it as being not thankful for the “amazing” life of a model. It makes me feel better that younger people and their parents can find this and be more careful if they think of modeling career. Also for us, who work with models, it’s very important to see honesty and how models feel.
I really appreciated your frank and sincere appraisal of your modeling career. I think you have gleaned so much wisdom over your life.
I can't imagine how deeply 3 is ingrained especially in the modeling industry, but I resonate with 3 so much. I HAD TO wait to do anything I wanted to do, simply because of cost and the way systems are set up here in 'Murica. Even before I've accomplished anything at all, I already feel like I've failed just because of how old I am.
When I was 15 I got casted by an agency, they wanted me to loose weight (I was quite shocked bc I considered myself thin my entire life) and I did loose the weight. But that wasn’t enough and my mental health went down the drain, I developed an eating disorder etc.. Now 5 years later I’m doing a lot better and I’m kind of gratefull I didn’t end up modelling, the industry would have destroyed me
Love the honesty of this video and you giving us another side of an occupation that many think is so glamorous. It’s such an invaluable service you are providing to the younger generation.
I'm just glad that you are where you are right now, the mentality you have now, thank you for sharing, I'm pretty sure you can help a lot a people by your testimony.
Everytime you just talk to the camera and open up I feel so grateful I met you. This was so brave, Tay. Losing yourself that much sounds so scary, but you made it till now. You did so good. While are you becoming every day more a role model for me and other young people, I always think about how my life changed since I discovered your channel. How I changed? What have I achieved? How I see myself now? Am I happier? Am I wiser? Everytime feels like you are a long time friend you meet again after few years or months and you make me realise a bit more who I am and where all started. Thank you, Tay. I send you a lot of love as always 💕
I love your point on how she became our role model than a traditional model❤️
I followed you since your “doll days” and I’m glad you’ve grown a lot. Not saying that that it was bad, but your image of a living doll really did affect me and many others young girls as well, for sure.
You fitted well for Asian beauty standards, so I thought if I could be just like you, people would love me more. But then you confessed yourself and that made me realise we all struggle with our image, and trying to fit into certain standards will not make us happy.
Thank you for telling the truth, it means a lot.
Easily one of my favorite videos pf yours. Your honesty, humility, and genuine heart is so precious and a gift you so willingly share. These are such brilliant lessons for all walks of life. Thank you for all you do.
I first saw your channel when I was living in Japan then I moved HK and continued to follow your channel and even saw you in my office building. What a transformation and journey of growth.. thank you for putting your authentic self to the world.
This is such a brave video and it couldn't have been easy to open up about all this. So massive kudos to you. You are who you are now because of everything you've experienced. Just wanted to tell you that yes you're gorgeous but what's even more gorgeous is your kind, calm and goofy personality. You matter and you make a difference. 10/10 would recommend the book 12 Rules of life by Jordan Peterson. He's one of the most famous psychologists in the world and gives such a unique perspective on life in his book. Massive hugs and all the love for you.
Taylor, I discovered you/your channel when you were in Japan! I used to be a huge weeb and would watch YT vids of foreigners who lived there haha :) If you ever feel like making a video specifically about that time in your life, I know I wouldn’t be the only one interested in hearing about it! It sounds like that was a very unique time in your life and would make for a good video on its own. But that’s for you to decide if course :) I’m 27, also beyond the age of modeling so this video’s info doesn’t pertain to me but I still really enjoyed watching and learning :)
That was very interesting - just as a woman who is much older (just turned 40) who is pretty comfortable in themselves, but still sometimes struggles with appearance, confidence - its really great to have young women talk about their experiences, the good, the bad and the ugly.
My point is you are never to young or old to learn from someone and i think as women we need to talk to each other and listen to each other’s experiences without judgment. Anyway, thank you for shining a light on something I’ve never really thought about, but found fascinating.
Sophia miles you are not much older than her though, tbh! She’s in her 30s .
You are lovely and loved just by being yourself. Following your channel for years now and I can see how much you have evolved.
I started watching you when you wore circle lenses...I like you SO MUCH MORE now 😊 you seem happier
Very smart
Ur comment has so much beautiful wisdom in it!!! Wow. Thank you love. Ur very wise
This describes perfectly the arts and entertainment industries particularly Japan. When I see this I cannot avoid thinking of Haruma Miura... and what he must have been going through to commit suicide like that. Thank you Taylor... for posting this and take your time to talk about topics that are a bit bumpier for you we will be ready when you are :) Hugs from Vancouver.
Yes. I actually have had the privilege of working with him before (about 10 years ago) and he was such a kind, hard-working person. The drama he was in about ALS “The Hours of My Life” is one of my favourites. Incredibly talented actor with a heart-breaking story. May he rest in peace
I really wish I had a way to connect and give you personal information outside of a public comment. I think it is absolutely wonderful that you are spreading awareness. As someone who has suffered from body dysmorphia and other similar issues I would love to give you some insights on what I know, what I’ve learned, through medical professionals and my own experiences. As it is though I can only say thank you. Thank you for your empathy, for your care and thank you for useing your platforms for what matters and not just the fun fluff we all need from time to time.
I've been watching you for yeeeaaars (pretty much since the beginning) & I'm proud of your mental growth! stay true to your personality, stay healthy, be happy
I’ve always wanted to be a model, it was kind of a dream of mine so you could imagine how happy I was when one day an agent from Wilhelmina and another one from IMG messaged me on Instagram... I was freaking out, I sent them polaroids and measurements, everything they asked for. But they’ve never answered back and I’ve felt heartbroken ever since, because I know it was my last and only chance. Maybe it was my height (5’6) or my age (i was 23 at that time) idk, but it still hurts deep inside that for some reason I wasn’t good enough for them. Videos like these really help me accept that maybe it happened like this for the better. This industry is so toxic and it would have definitely caused me some life-long trauma. So thanks for making this video, it’s really helped me change my mindset 🙏
I think it’s really valuable to speak on this Taylor. I think the industry can be really damaging and dangerous. Some of the most stunning models in the world are the most insecure women as the industry rips them apart. It can really hurt young people. You are such a beautiful person inside and out and I’m glad you shared your story
This is so interesting. I had an agency in Toronto for about a year when I was in my teens and they kept trying to send me to japan because I’m also “short” (5’7”); I wonder if it’s the same. I had to say no because of school. It’s funny to think of how life might have been different 😅💛
I wanted to hug you so bad while watching this! You went through a lot when you were still quite young, even a bit younger than me and I can't imagine how much stress you must've been in. I'm so glad that you seem to be in a much healthier place now. I found your channel a few years back and still remember your transition you've had and how much you struggled with it. Getting rid of your contact lenses etc.
I'm really truly proud of you. Please stay happy and healthy! 🥺
You’re a really kind person for this comment, wishing you all the best in health and prosperity 😊
@@elli_bellie oh, wow, thank you 😊 I'm also wishing you all the best!!
Watching this in bed while recovering from a cold 💕 not looking forward to work tomorrow! Can’t wait to watch the video! Stay safe and happy xxxx
I started watching your videos many many years ago when you had that cute style. I really liked you then and I really like you now :)
I could see you were suffering and I’m very happy to hear your story now, it’s very inspiring.
I’m a singer and I struggle with similar things sometimes so I was really happy to hear your advice.
Thank you Taylor💕💕
I hope you keep growing! 🌈
If you like this video, and want another person’s experience - Cruel World Happy Mind also speaks about this. Not a model but I found both videos incredibly eye opening
same
I’ve been watching you for about 3-4 years and I usually never comment. But I just want to say thank you so much for sharing your story and struggles. It really helps us to put things into perspective in our own lives and so glad to be able to see you grow so much over the years , appreciate your videos always ❤️
Taylor this is such an emotional video to watch. To see you open up about these things that are so obviously personal and emotional for you as well. Thank you for sharing yourself with us and putting yourself out there and being vulnerable for your followers to know your past and experiences. I’ve never really felt this level of connection to someone’s UA-cam videos before. ♥️
Taylor, I really admire that you've made this video. It's a quit difficult topic to talk about, and I respect the way you talked about it and your honesty. I think you're a great role model! And I hope your mental health (and overal health) will stay good. Thank you Taylor! Love from the Netherlands
As long as you're comfortable with it, I know I for one would love if you dived more into the details of your modeling career and all the specifics associated with it. ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for keeping it real, Taylor. You help more people than you realize to be a better version of themselves. Not only do we need to not compare ourselves to others, we need to not compare ourselves to who we think we should be at this point in time. Just started listening to the book Girl Wash Your Face, and I am liking what I’ve heard so far.
Oof. I remember watching a documentary about South Korean models a while back. It was honestly really scary. These women (and/mostly girls) are thrown into almost complete isolation with zero financial control over their lives. The amount of stress and sadness these women experienced was heartbreaking. But, when you see these beautiful people on billboards - that aspect never even enters your mind. You’re so entranced with these beautiful people, that it’s hard to imagine them not living wealthy care-free lives.
Do you know what it was called?
you are such an inspiration! I've been watching your channel since early days and to hear you out in this video made me feel human.
for the first time in my life i feel so lost that to hear your journey and all the ups and downs made me feel like i want to take a jorney myself.
thank you taylor
and OMG your hair is STUNNING
It's funny how I relate to you a lot when you talk about these things, but not because I got into modelling. I was a late bloomer, had low self-esteem growing up and I was bullied in school because I looked like an easy target who couldn't stand up for herself. In a way it made me develop certain unhealthy belief systems, like being so hung up on other people's opinion of me (Until now I still struggle with it tbh but I'm honest to god working hard to change it) and being anxious about how I look. As a young adult now, I still get surprised when people compliment me because of how I look thinking they don't really mean it. No one never really knew this because I learned how to appear confident on the outside when I was still struggling to manifest that fake confidence inside. I believe in the saying "fake it till you make it" tbh. I'm so glad when you mentioned this in the video bec I've never met someone who was in that weird paradox too. Thank you for making this video, Taylor. It made me feel less alone and oddly, in a way, kind of understood. It's okay if you take your time in making a video about body dysmorphia and your relationship w food, it's great that you'd rather be educated about it first. Take care always Taylor! ♡
Your beautiful, I’m sorry you went through so much:( me too tbh, but through ur comment I can see ur a brave girl, keep eating healthy and loving yourself! We can get there where we are happy with our body and our relationship with food xxx
So many important messages and good advice, even for people who don't model or are related to the industry. I'm so glad you are the genuine person you are now!
I'm not a model nor am I into modeling but from a person still in her early twenties, I really needed to hear this. Thank you Taylor
Great video Taylor! I’m glad that you’re bringing these issues to light. I think most people have a mindset that modeling is a dream job- with traveling, fancy clothes, fancy food, foreign countries, makeup, etc with all expenses paid and making bank to fly around the world and look beautiful while people photograph you. I’m proud that you’ve opened up and shared the real deal of what goes on. Bravo! 💕
I have been watching your videos for years now, I remember when i started, you were still in the doll personna and i was very intrigued by you... I could feel that you were more than this doll like naïve and sweet figure and i think that is why i watched you. I remember when you began to change your ways, i was quite happy for you, it felt like you were happier and more yourself (I always like your videos with Sharla because of this, you seemed more relaxed with her) . It's kind of crazy to see you now, almost a different person, you seem more fulfilled than ever and it's really nice to see that ! I can imagine that you're still struggling with your image but i'm sure it will get better as you learn to know and appreciate yourself for what you really are. And now you have a beautiful family to think about, so much happiness to come !
I've been working with image for almost 3 years. Never planned really to do that, everything was very crazy when i started, and everything you said is real. I´ve done some commercials and stuff, nothing really into fashion because my measurements never were fully accepted . And the hate and abuse (mental, physical, and FINANCIAL) you received for working with those things can really be damaging. I believe that one day models are really going to be protected from this violences, but until it start to happen we need to expose the reality and search/fight for healthy work conditions
I know how hard it can be to speak up but try your best when things aren’t right. Continue to work on the relationship with yourself and get in a good place in terms of self love, that’s so important.
Thank you for your endnotes on there being no expiry date on your goals / dreams.. I am 29 and sometimes I wonder that I'm turning 30 next year and I still have no idea what the hell I'm doing. We looked at houses this year too and everything felt too expensive as well and put me in to a spiral on top of all of the COVID mess. Deep breaths.. no expiry.
Stay positive. You are still young and you can do it. Best wishes I hope things start going better soon ❤️.
About 10 years ago I ran a service on a university campus (USA), and hired an undergrad as my assistant. The best applicant was a very beautiful young woman, tall, poised, and put together. And intelligent -- a marketing major. Over time, as we worked together, she shared about how, during high school, she trained to be a model, was in a state-level beauty pageant, took classes on posture, walking, etc. I asked her why she didn't become a model, since so many girls would want to do that (including me, in younger days). She said after all that training, an agency told her needed to lose weight to be competitive -- and believe me, she was slender as it was. She said the agencies pick you apart, criticize every little thing, and insist that girls be emaciated. She just refused to be treated that way. So she earned her B.A. in marketing, and after school got hired to be on the management track at first one, then another department store (she wanted to work her way up to be a fashion buyer). She was on her way.
After about three years, she met a guy and decided to get married and have a family. She now has two beautiful young children, lives in a gorgeous suburban home (in the U.S.), and works as a personnel manager for a non-profit org in her city that helps people in need. I admire her so much for having her head on straight, and for avoiding the pitfalls of the modeling/beauty world. Nothing against girls who follow the modeling dream; if I'd been born with her physical assets, I doubt I'd have been as wise as she was about it. @Taylor R, I hope your message about the realities of modeling helps unsuspecting girls protect themselves from the industry's pitfalls. PS, my friend is still beautiful. She never let herself go, always looks immaculate and maintains a healthy weight. You don't have to be a model to look like a healthy version of one IRL.
I see how unhealfy modeling could : basing everything on mesurements and weight at a time where you don't really know who you are and you're still forming a sense of self-estreem cand be very detrimental in the future. As teenager, you're becoming your very own person and you need time and space to figure out who you are and who you want to be.
Thank you Taylor for this open heart conversation! I followed you since Miku hatsune dance cover (Oh boi- that' was years ago) and I'm glad to seen you're becoming more fulfilled and happy every single year of your life. I'm pretty sure you'll become the happiest granny ever ... that'd be cute and fun!
Thank you for sharing your experiences! It's kind of sad to see that everyone is just trying to survive in their own way and what they're able to do. Some are more accepted than others. In the end, you can only accept your self and your limits to survive.
I love how you have modeled all over the world.
Modeling in Los Angeles had its own experiences...
I jumped into Aerobic/Fitness Teachers..but most people only know how it is now. For 10 years I had to audition to teach just like modeling. I decided to grow in this field and felt healtier. I am 5'7 and was 110 but because muscle it made me look 99 lbs. This is where I had to leave Veganism till I gain weight. Doctor made me. People do not know I taught 3-6 classes per day because someone did not show up so you had to do theirs. I did modern dance since I was 12 and some ofter school gymnastics (too tall)... I speed skated also but moved from Pennsylvania to California at 19. So bye to RollerDerby. I went to Modeling School and Managed a gym. Yes... You are right...YOU are not always right for that product. I got hit on and jumped on at a shoot and still have the clothes I left with. I never ever had sex with anyone and refused. I got offers to work at strip clubs to make money.. I refused. I gained to 122 and dated a photographer but he told me to loose 10lbs.. So I stop seeing him. I rented my own house because girls stole alot of my things...a top here, sunglasses... Jewelry. I am neat and did not miss place my things. I worked with Billy Blanks in his 2nd round of TaeBo...
Now Im a Trainer.. I teach everything. Yoga and Pilates saved me from the body issues. ((Never go away tho))
Now I sing in choir and cantor in catholic church. I work in ministry. I got 8 core college classes through Christian Institute. But all in all Im with my Scott. He is like Tom seeing you through very stable. He is Japanese..and I found you 4-5 years ago on UA-cam.
Thank you for being authentic and transparent.
Love you
💎💎💎💎💎💎
I always wondered why you were going through that Doll phase, I started following you right when it was ending. It seemed so artificial and I knew you are not really it. I love your transformations and I see you transforming again. 😊💕