The modern world is largely safe, basic needs have been met, but it is extremely repetitive and mundane. Work is often alienating. There is little possibility of adventure or serendipity. RPGs are great for providing a self-contained simulacrum of adventure.
14:50 " I find it very thrilling to...have to duck and run from some sort of opposition. I don't know why that it is..." -> 28:15 "" when I was 17 years old, I got arrested for stealing Magic: The Gathering Cards from Wallmart" also... RockClimbBuddy (at next gathering): So I am an NPC! Well Valiant Vermin, would you like to do a dex check on this course? Micah_Raygun_ : Yes and Yes. (he said Bluntly)
I also have a bit of roleplaying autism but mine is a little different. So the way I see roleplaying in videogames is also as a thirst for *stories*, and the beauty of the small things. I don't want to necessarily be the hero, I want only to live all sorts of lives in all sorts of worlds. Like Sylvia Plath said, “I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in my life. And I am horribly limited.” Videogames are, therefore, a way to impersonate and feel what it is to be someone else (and, in a way, I live this sense of multiplicity IRL too). I don't know why I have this fixation, but I literally randomize from a list of videogames that allow this, and then (more or less randomly) make up a character to play as in that videogame - this allows me to live as literally any type of person in so many different universes, and therefore I get a hugely wide possibility of stories to make up and lives to impersonate.
It's interesting that Sotha Sil said they vivec had that same - or at least a similar - kind of craving "He has a poets despair. Vivec craves radical freedom - the death of all limits and restrictions. He wishes to be all things at all times. Every race, every gender, every hero, both divine and finite... but in the end, he can only be Vivec." When I first heard that quote a little lightbulb went off in my head because that's almost how I feel when it comes to like.... Character creation analysis paralysis and character re rolling in RPGs.
@@MrTauren1996Wow, I had never seen that quote before, it's so beautiful... Thank you. Poetry is my very favorite thing in the world and Vivec is my favorite TES character so that quote really spoke to me
Your point about regressions leading to new forms of success was something I needed to hear right now. Thanks man. I'm homeless and it's a real struggle to make any real-life progress. That's why I play RPGs every night. The progress I make in a fantasy world feels more rewarding than the tiny steps forward I take in my daily life. But when those steps finally lead to something tangible, it'll feel a hell of a lot more rewarding than the numbers on a screen.
I get a sense of accomplishment/joy when I participate in roleplay with others, and my character is enmeshed and integrated with the fantasy setting that the story is taking place in. Like, I enjoy the part where I contribute to the wider verosimilitude or coherence of the setting through my character's presence, personality, etc. I'd like to think that in doing that I enhance the wider illusion that the world we're playing in is actually real and vibrant.
I believe that RPG games are a fantastic avenue for being able to mold and create a character to live through vicariously, and having a world with few boundaries leaves plenty of room for you to create your own limits if that's what you desire. That's what I think has me coming back to games repeatedly such as Daggerfall and Morrowind, or even more linear games that wouldn't even fall under the veil of an RPG game, like Thief II. They provide the opportunity to make decisions that feel meaningful in a minimally restrictive environment, and allow you to derive those childlike feelings of exploration and discovery under whatever guise you'd like. Videos that are stream of consciousness just like this end up being some of my favorite forms of content on this platform. Thanks for sharing.
Very thoughtful video dude. I think that you frame and answer the question you posed quite well, and in a way that likely speaks for many other people, myself included.
This is one if the best videos ive ever had the pleasure of viewing. I no longer feel like suppressing the RPG in real life way of thinking. It always helped me with many many things, but a part of me was embarrased and felt like it was probably wrong to keep dealing with life in the same way I may deal with a problem presented to me in a well done video game. My biggest take away from this though is to realize im just an NPC to other people. If i can convince myself of this, my social anxiety is put to ease. Im not the main character that everyone is looking to for answers and saving. No one is concerned with what an NPC is doing and thinking, unlike how i irrationally believe everyone is when im normally anxious. Huge load off. Appreciate you making this.
So glad to hear that this stuff resonated with you. We tend to put too much pressure on ourselves in social situations--as it turns out, taking it easy is a crucial survival skill!
Was listening to a CS Lewis lecture and this pops up, you're in good company! Im so happy for you and your channel Micah! So many thoughts on this topic as you know. One of the allures of RPG progression and achievement over its real life counterparts is that in life its not as clear. Being a good father and provider is not reached at a certain number where you get a satisfying level up sound. Just imagine how good we would be if we saw our skills and level ups (or downs...) in a beautiful rpg style menu with trophies etc. I saw that you had begun making videos a couple of days ago and havn't had time to write you. It's doing amazingly well for such a new channel! I really really hope you keep doing good and for that I think you should stick to this type of content (also the "Rant about x"), it really suits you. Let's Plays will probably feel fun at first but they tank views and subs wich might not seem important but its part of the motivation over the long run, and each will LP lock you in for a long time and when you are 1/3 way through you might want to do something else but you feel obligated to finish it etc etc. Best wishes!
Yo hey there Art! So good to see you here. Yes our irl progression is much more abstract and can be hard to detect and quantify. I think having these kinds of discussions in your streams helped me get interested in making these videos. This channel's success is largely due to your inspiration and the community's love for your channel, so I'm very thankful for your contributions! Regarding the content, yeah I'm aware that LP's aren't good for viewership or subs, but it's so satisfying to be able to share my adventures with people. There are some folks out there who enjoy the content, but I also want to beat Daggerfall's main quest ironman on camera! I recently finished a run but wasn't recording it. My concern is that if I make only discussion type videos I'll run out of content too fast, so posting the LPs gives me time to allow inspiration to find me. Thanks again for watching bud! Hope you've been doing well.
Really enjoying your discussion videos. Have you ever played Terraria? It’s one of the few games (Morrowind is on that list also) that have truly made me feel like an adventurer. This will probably make me sound clinically insane, but exploring that game’s depths and solving its mysteries gave me the same feeling backpacking used to give me. It may even feel better. There’s a large portion of the game where you’re still weak enough that enemies/traps need to be respected and your options for mobility and storage space are very limited so you have to carefully traverse every area you explore. To this day I don’t think I’ve played a game that does that gameplay loop as consistently well as Terraria did. It’s a magical experience.
You adventure because there is a positive reinforcement doing it. It might be escapism, some trascendental exploration of meaning and other abstract concepts... or maybe you just get into a state of focus similar to meditation, even if you do not intend to "escape" from anywhere. There are absolutely skills and knowledge to get from a game, also, especially more complex games, like hardcore RPGs, grand strategy or simulations. Regarding the three motivations described, I have had all of them playing a part in the games. You can play Overlord 1 simply because it is hilarious, regardless of how you feel or what you look for; you can play Victoria II and get so focused on the political machinations of slavery and elections that you lose track of time; or you can play Disco Elysium and have some very nutritious food for thought every 30 seconds or so of gameplay.
I grew up exploring woods, abandoned buildings, random junk and all that kind of stuff, drew maps of places too, so I love adventure games to recapture that feeling. Even growing up the games gave me inspiration to do stuff outside, i'd play some Zelda then go outside and start cutting down bushes haha.
The idea of the "mirror" that you talked about definitely explains why we play video games (especially RPGs)... Just like the reason why people consume fiction in general. I mean, fantasy worlds offer us an analogy to our real world... being a metaphorical reflection rather than a direct one of our reality, it allows us to observe this reflection from a more distant perspective (and therefore, with a lighter heart). In the end, when we exit these fictions, I feel like we carry some of that philosophical distance and lightness of heart to confront the real world. Even though, when we enter these fantasies, we feel like we're just escaping from it. So: Your analyses are really good. It reminded me of guys like Noah Caldwell-Gervais, Thor High Heels, or Lorerunner. Guys who go beyond a simple comment on "the overall state of gaming" and provide a more elaborate analysis of the experience that video games offer. Congratulations.
Really cool video my guy, I won't be lying when I tell you that not two days after you post a video I start purpousely checking my youtube notifications to see if you have posted anything else! I agree with a lot of what you are saying. I got into rpgs and videogames in general because when I was a kid I figured out quickly, and I am not proud of it either, that I enjoyed lying and pretending a little bit too much. For me video games became a place to do that, my first gaming experiences were like loading into my older brother's saves and running around just looking at a single cave or some shit. So I kept coming up with why this character is here, where all this stuff in their inventory came from etc., and somehow I got more pleasure from it when I knew that my stories are not true neither in the context of my brother's playthrough nor in the game in general. Nowadays I really enjoy randomising a character whenever possible, in dnd or videogames, and then trying to embody or fill them with the stuff that seems like it would come from them I guees. So roleplay for the sake of playing some role, doesn't matter which, and various levels of difinedness of the role are really welcome (for the opportunity to improvise).
one of the reasons i love RPGs is i enjoying getting to explore new worlds and getting to do and see things that could never happen in real life its really fun to dive into a dungeon or somehow beat a boss or high leveled enemy that you managed to win against despite still being low leveled heck even the experience of running away from a group of enemies you can not beat is its own kind of fun there are just so many encounters you can have in these kind of games that you really cant get anywhere else
I got into climbing, sold all my stuff, moved into my car, and headed tf out of Toledo in my early 20's. Why? I blame (in a good way) the fantasy novels, RPGs, and other media that I obsessively consumed throughout my entire childhood, as well as my inability to form my own personality and only adopting a persona by Frankensteining the traits of all the heroes in my novels, manga, and games. I've seen and done a lot of dope and crazy things since then and I 100% attribute it to adventure-heavy games, high fantasy novels, and superhero comics and manga.
Simply uncanny that you wrote your first comment before getting to the rock climbing story lol. Outdoor climbing brings out the adventurer in all of us!
@@micah_raygun_ it really does! I got into the habit of trying to classify which RPG archetype each party member best fit. Depending on the makeup of our 2-4 person parties that my main group usually went on trips as, we would tend to play different roles -different areas of expertise and style based on the terrain and whatnot. And each style offered a different kind of adventure. 72-hour alpine ridge traverses were wars of attrition against a titanic beast. Fast-and-light runs up 2100ft Lady Wilson in Red Rock were like pilgrimages to our local deity. When I was soloing it felt like I was sneaking into the den of the gods to steal a piece of their secret fire and take it home with me until it burnt out... And honestly more than anything I realized that it wasn't "as if I was going on these adventures"... Those were quite literally the adventures I was going on. Mt Wilson *was* my local deity, ridges *are* giant dead but slightly living beasts who will unknowingly swat you off their backs to your death as they yawn in their sleep. I *was* making a trip to the void when I soloed, bringing a piece of it back with me. Some days I was a paladin, pushing forward to fulfill my self-reflective oath, other days I was a druid, just giving myself to the oneness of everything. Magic is real, adventure is real, and they are not hidden things.
I attribute Oblivion to my love of RPG's and of literature. Was the first open world fantasy game I ever played and it blew my mind as a kid. Not to mention what it did for me. My parents and teachers noted my vocabulary getting bigger and bigger the more RPGs I played because they exposed me to so many words. I didn't just copy the one's in the games it sorta drove me to try using bigger and more descriptive words in my day to day which attributes a lot to my writing now. I have family and turbo virgin RPG love to thank for my capabilities to write c:
I really like your analysis on players mirroring characters in fantasy games to be a form of the idealized self. I know not everyone does this, but since fantasy games are definitely a form of escapism for me. I do tend to create characters that are meant to be my idealized self. Which is usually a mage and more specifically, illusion/mysticism/alteration mages (destruction is cool, but I find it kind of boring. Same with conjuration). I think this stems from how these types of mages tend to try to exert control through magic over there world. That appeals to me because there are many things in my life that I'd want to exert control over but cant. This ranges from simple everyday things like being able to control the flow of traffic (I'd kill to have the ability to just teleport vehicles out of my way during a commute). But seeking control also extends to higher functions like how I feel about society or the nature of man. I always play mages/wizards in fantasy games because it lets me play out my own control fantasies.
Hey, Micah! Wanted to add to your rant a bit with something short. I adventure, at least in RPGs, because of the joy of finding myself in situations I don't typically find myself in during day-to-day life. The knights of the old republic series has always been one of my favorite RPGs simply because of the dialogue options and ways you can go about navigating them. You can act overtly aggressive, or unbelievably kind. Most times, especially on my first playthrough, I choose dialogue options based on how I'd actually respond. I used to do this when I was a lot younger and I remember just how real it felt when the way I verbally approached a situation ended in such drastic consequences for someone or myself. It's had an impact on the way I speak to people in the real world. Anyways, loved this video! You're a great speaker and I'll check out your blog soon
Dude I get it. I play Morrowind and Daggerfall now and then, STALKER all the time, and recently I've been obsessed with DCS. I love to explore these worlds that are created with love and passion. STALKER has an atmosphere and a feeling of sublime nostalgia that reminds me of hanging out with an old friend. It's comforting but it engages me in a way that sitting down with my favorite food and a movie does. It's more akin to going on a hike or a wilderness walk. There's so much to take in at all times from our senses. It does more for our dopamine, especially us ADHDers, than a cluttered and colorful UI and loot boxes. I've always wanted to try tabletop gaming but nobody has been able to schedule a game that works with my schedules. It sucks.
For me, there is an element of craving stories, and being a part of that story is quite appealing. But alongside that, (and this is going to sound stupid obvious), I think people crave the opportunity for success. These games can be moments where we achieve victory in a way that real life doesn't create very often. Was I "successful" today at work? Nothing bad happened, but nothing meaningfully good happened either. There isn't really anything I could have improved. People want purpose and goals, but those things are big and complicated and risky, and I think that sometimes people need to feel like they have goals without having to actually take those risks.
45:25 I ended up studying other subjects, but I always wanted to do an anthropological paper trying to delve more into what makes gamers - and so, people in general - fall into these roles of 'leader' and 'sidekick', or into the typical 'tank/DPS/healer' roles. What makes some of us want to be the big bad monster-killer main character? What makes some of us more inclined to be happy buffing our friends and watching **them** kick butt? Why would I rather keep a bunch of helpful little utility support magics instead of just Fireballing everything to death with damage spells? D&D's a great go-to example, since I've DM'd for **so** many players/friends over the years, and you really see mixes where some people just want to improv and hat shop for hours, while others (equally validly) just want to whomp things and see their numbers go up. Anyhoo. It's niche, but I find it fascinating to wonder about. Always love to hear you ramble, you have a great outlook and I like your stories (AND you got me into Daggerfall Unity).
The great thing about this line of inquiry is that it doesn't have to be academic, it can just be internal and experiential as time goes on and you meet new people that gravitate to those roles. For what it's worth, I usually bounce between thief and fighter archetypes, though I often play the role of "the face" regardless of class choice.
I’ve never experienced someone just be so real. I’m a new father as well and being a great provider is a goal for me too. Idk what to say, I’m too busy and mentally labored to think of anything intelligent to say, but I appreciate this video as well as I have appreciated all the other videos on your channel. Thanks for being so real man
Great video Micah, and the format is great too. Keep it up. I think I have become misaligned with videos games in general, assuming that they're always for escape or always a strict waste of time. But then if you asked me if instead I'd be willing to "unplay" a great game like Morrowind, of course I'd say no. To the degree that games (RPGs especially) are "living stories", I think they're valuable. Perhaps I'm just scarred from the years of youth that I now consider "ill spent" in playing them. I would like to repair this relationship, and perhaps I can do so with Daggerfall soon.
I still can’t believe you started posting only a few months ago. I saw one of your first vids and thought you’d been posting for years, but that wasn’t the case apparently. Keep up the commentary I find it pretty relatable and I’m sure some will find your word choice intriguing
I don't entirely agree that role playing is about embodying characters that have traits that we admire, I'd argue that one reason to roleplay a certain character is that it's narratively satisfying. These two things are correlated, because we often enjoy narratives about characters who we find virtuous in various ways. One of my personal favorite computer role playing experiences though was playing VtM:B with a Patrick Bateman-esque character (I also had the clan quest mod which allows you to commit diablerie and join the Sabbat, which my character did after descending far enough into madness). This was a character very unlike me, who was monstrous and didn't have a particularly sympathetic fall from grace, although I'll have to admit that there where parts of playing that character that where transgressive in a way that I don't typically allow myself to be, which is maybe something I can admire in a way. I think an important reason why I thought that playing the character was fun was because becoming a twisted monstrous version of what my character started out as felt resonant with the themes of Vampire the Masquerade, and being pushed around to do dirty work for the elders felt like a good in-character reason to get desensitized from violence and hungry for a quickfix to power.
In my opinion... why we like adventure ? Simple as ... what is in our DNA ? Adventure ! Yeah simple ... we are built to adventure and hunt so we can feed ours and us ... locate better places to live and etc etc ... thats why we like adventure...
Great video. You are very smart and articulate your thoughts really well and without a lot of pausing and cutting. Please keep it up, looking forward to more.
Adventure games and Tabletop RPGs always scratch my human itch for exploration--not just the exploratioon of the fantasy world, but the exploration of our deeper selves. Love how much research you pulled from, and your observation of the etymology of "monster"! My ego can't help but hear maybe a little bit of inspiration from some Sonic the Hedgehog videos that I watched recently 😉 and while maybe I'm grasping for straws there, the fact that your videos helped inspire those in the first place really makes me believe in this platform as a place of self-expression like never before. Each of us building off of and inspiring each other instead of competing for views. I have an incredible amount of respect for your work already, and that was only deepened by the personal background you shared, and your recognition of your videos as a legacy you leave for your son, no matter the impact of that legacy. I hope your videos and your work take you to wonderful places, like fantasy games have!
Thanks so much Neat! I agree that it's awesome being able to inspire one another and feed into the creative process as a community rather than trying to do all of this in a vacuum. I actually directed another NewTuber to your channel because of how helpful those videos have been c: I've found out that I simply love sharing stories, not only through literature and playing RPGs, but it's really nice to talk about my son and the various other episodes of my life, especially as they relate to the topic at hand. We live in a story shaped world, and these help to humanize the person behind the mic. I really appreciate all your support, hopefully I can catch another stream soon!
One of the things i really enjoy about playing just video games in general is the discovery of new things and places! The Elderscrolls series play well into this, but especially for me the Subnautica games! The joy of discovering new creatures and places as well as uncovering the plot, are some of the best times i've ever had gaming. Skyrim and Oblivion were games in particular where i spent countless hours just roaming the world and admiring it! Also unique from Subnautica in the sense of mystery of exploring a strange mysterious place and possibly being attacked by something you've never even seen. That is a big part of RPG's for me, but also like you said it is very cathartic. There is something freeing about pretending to be a different person of your own design. Or not even of your own design necessarily, strategy games are not exactly RPGs but that doesn't mean you can't role play in them to be Julius Caesar leading a legion in Gaul, or Patton during the battle of the Bulge, or even other types of games, like an F/A-18 fighter pilot operating off a carrier. I feel like games can provide us with a window or an experience of what it might be like to live another life or be someone else. Whether we are accurately imitating the life of a WW2 general, a fighter pilot, or a busty argonian isn't particularly relevant to experience either. Maybe it is a bit of an odd opinion, but it draws me to a wide range of different video games and enhances the experience. Great video as always btw!
For me RPG's have always been a way to write my own interactive story. Ended up on this channel as I was getting interested in Daggefall as an alternative to the newer TES games. I haven't started playing that yet but it seems to fit me better from watching your LP. The newer games are great in many ways, but they are structured in such a way that they feel far too linear too me, even if they are open world when compared to something like Baldurs Gate or Rogue Trader. My favourite RPG isn't actually even "technically" an RPG, it's Crusader Kings. But in reality it's an RPG where you play as a noble, rather than the classical adventurer. The thing that appeals to me in that game is that it's totally free to set your own goals, there isn't any narrative at all. Just because this is a TES-channel I'll use an example of a playthrough I did in Elder Kings, which is a mod that transforms the game from medieval europe into the world of second era Tamriel. So I was playing as a minor thane of Winterhold and lets just say Harkon went a bit off script and ended up conquering Skyrim. So I plotted to have him murdered, succeeded with the help of other surviving nord thanes and jarls who hadn't been replaced with vampires, and then led the nordic resistance against Valerica, who had taken over, and freed most of Skyrim from vampire overlordship after about 30 years, only to have a god-damned ashlander clan move in during the chaos and conquer Winterhold. So I re-conquered Winterhold and proclaimed myself the High Queen of Skyrim and founded an legacy that would rule for over 200 years, and conquer half of Tamriel, until I played as King Jurgen II "the Naughty". At this point in the game my kingdom was pretty much unchallanged. The Dunmer could put up a fight, but other than that I was the dominant power in the world. Now, the thing about playing Crusader Kings is that when your character die you keep playing as their legal heir, and while you can try to influence them while they grow up, you don't create them like you do in the character-creator of an RPG. And Jurgen was cruel and insane. And I decided to lean into that and RP the mad king, rather than trying to play optimally. Also he was an half-Altmer as his mother was an high elf, so he had an expected lifespan of 200-400 years. So I learned necromany. I raised armies of Daedra and undead. I moved the capital of Skyrim to Castle Volkihar. I set up my brother Thorkild the Half-Human as leader of the Elder Council. Obviously openly doing all this wasn't popular, and while I did publically still worhsip the 8 divines I was secretly in the cult of Molag Bal, working behind the scenes on starting a daedric invasion. I was deposed as High King, TWICE, but always came back to power and punished the fools who had rebelled against me. Basically I got to RP the reign of an classic RPG villain. In the end he died at age 103 trying to summon an elder god, and his children weren't elected by the moot (shocker...), instead they choose the son of the dragonborn who had married a princess of the Reach, and I kept playing as his more sane heirs as jarls of Winterhold for another 200 years, occasionally being elected as High Kings IIRC, but it was hard to compete against the heirs of the Dragonborn, until I got tired of that playthrough around the time when Tiber Septim would have been born in the actual TES-lore. None of this was scripted, no one wrote that story, I just played the characters and stories the game handed me. That is the kind of RP I love. A system that can set up a story without having to follow a script. I'm excited to get into Daggerfall to try out a more free-form TES game from the perspective of an adventurer rather than a ruler. I do love the setting, but the newer games are too linear for my taste, and I've played them too much already. So yeah, roleplaying as interactive storytelling is the reason why I play RPG's and why I am currently getting into Daggerfall. :)
You're such an interesting person to listen to man. My goal in life is to become a fantasy author, and I've been trying to take a step back with this question so I have a firm understanding of the art I love and want to make. It really helps me conceptualize how stories can effect the people who read them. Also love the advice of embracing being an NPC lol it's way healthier to embrace the idea of being an average person and coming to love the idea. It's valuable to see ourselves in media, and there's def some value of those depictions being totally normal especially. Stay safe on your rock climbing adventures dude ^^
I also like writing fantasy! I used to have a pretty good habit of daily writing, but that has been increasingly difficult to do with the ol full time job / family / UA-cam wombo combo. Please try setting aside 30 minutes or a day to put on the Oblivion soundtrack and put some words on a page if you don't already have the habit. Don't be afraid of sucking or being cringe, it's just part of the process. Speaking of being cringe, my description has a link to my blog where I practice with short stories if you're ever curious about seeing that side of me c:
it's interesting you find yourself on this side of the line, I am someone looking for inspiration to play rpg's such as this and specifically daggerfall, but from my competitive background it makes it hard to take steps back to the older systems of games and combat. It is interesting because the line you said about not investing time because of your short life, i have the same view toward rpg's. To me, learning a competitive game is not foreign, and is something i often do, just like how you often find the time to invest into multiple singple player games for hours on end. Just something to consider i thought i might add. good luck to you
Hearing you talk about viewing life challenges as a rp opprotunity may have genuinely improved my life. I take a very similar approach to games, especially ones that encourage roleplaying. But have never considered keeping myself consistent in a similar way. Here's hoping to you not dying in a car crash on your way to work!
Yo it's the based SBR Dio poster again! Call it the universe or God or the simulation, it's almost like something out there is handing out challenges to forge you into a greater version of yourself.
I cannot say that I have played adventure rpgs or crpgs much for escapism. Part of the draw is figuring out creative solutions to problems my character is too weak to deal with head on. The emergent gameplay found in these moments makes each run special in some way. Another aspect is the worldbuilding, especially when it comes to the linguistics. I simply adore seeing how words came to be in a fantasy setting as well as tying them to real world languages. Also, I love the religion in these games. This goes along with mirroring personal desires too (as I myself am religious). Playing a devout warrior or priest who is replete with courage, humility, and unswerving faith is one of my favourite ways to play. It allows me to truly immerse myself in the world and my character's roll in it.
I think we’re all searching for some great meaning behind all of the things that occur in our lives, but, truthfully, it’s just life. There’s (usually) no greater explanation to individual events. It’s all shaped around our perspectives and outlooks. My opinion: Art has no inherent meaning outside of that which we give to it through our experiences and humanity. So, it’s super normal to say that games can help your outlook on life! I love the way you talk about narrative and pace your content. I’m so glad the algorithm brought me to the beginning of the best new UA-camr of 2024.
Growing up I played more strategy games than rpgs. I love random map generation and I love seeing a city grow from a "natural" world. Also to follow the campaign of an army as it goes from my capital all the way across the map. One thing about going on an "adventure" from that perspective is that you are already looking at the map, but each turn the "meaning" of each location changes, and I think thats amazing. Think about a chess game and how intense focus can shift from each quadrant of the board turn by turn. In a sense you could be jumping around all over the place like a Game of Thrones episode
Haven't listened to your thoughts yet (saving this for my travels tomorrow). I read a book called "Fantasy Freaks and Gaming Geeks" that explores the topic of what factors people have in common in turning to escapism through fantasy. Just thought I would throw out that recommendation, I remember it resonated with me as a youth.
I identify with your experience a lot. Even down to the teenage misdemeanor despite being a good boy lol. I found that same social adventure hub in the weight room as an adult after only wanting to do nerdy things by myself as a kid.
Nice! Once you find some common ground with a group (lifting, rock climbing) it becomes much easier to make friends with your fellow denizens of earth.
I'm sure you know this, but your comment about playing through setbacks was literally on *page two* of the Daggerfall manual. (Page 8 of the PDF). And no wonder, how else are you going to get into the dark brotherhood or thieves guild?
since this character is your first with OpenMW I recommend the Tamriel Rebuilt mod. as a roleplaying mod it's truly awesome to get lost in the added area.
I have TR and Skyrim Home of the Nords installed. But first, gonna see how many people a pacifist has to kill in order to beat the MQ with this character
the thing about the elderscrolls games, they're not real adventures, at least the main story, because they happen within the empire, adventures take place on the wilderness outside, not in the safety of the home, daggerfall main story is court intrigue, morrowind is about fixing a province for the emperor, are you playing the nerevarine or the imperial maid? the illiad takes place outside, across the ocean, odysseus goes into the underworld, jason and the argonauts go to distant islands where monsters live, and so on, bethesda kinda got around this by making the empire old and having it come appart, so the volcano area of vvanderfell is it's wilderness, but why have a treat when you can have the full meal?
Also, have you considered setting up a Discord server? You have a neat little community gathering here and it could be cool to have a place to chat and share our Daggerfall adventures and whatnot!
Hey! Have you played Outward? It seems like it would be the sort of game you like. Very big on exploration. Has survival elements like thr necessity to eat, drink, and sleep. No map markers or fast travel. The game auto-saves so you have to live with your failures, and most of the main quests are timed.
I love Outward! I had a ton of fun making a trap-master and luring goons into rows of spring-loaded spikes and such. Never got around to finishing it (as with most games, it simply drove me back to Daggerfall), but it's a beautiful game with many great opportunities for adventure and immersion.
I'm curious about your background growing up. Do you have experience studying philosophy, debating, or writing at all? Your speech skill seems to be high.
@@micah_raygun_ can you do a video with the mods you like for MW??? Morrowind is definitely my favorite. Been meaning to do another playthrough with mods on, and especially I want to try an Ironman RP run after seeing your DF content.
@@lazybum965I'm afraid I can't recommend much. I've been away from Morrowind so long that I lost the mods I used back in the day. Right now I have Tamriel Rebuilt, Skyrim: Home of the Nords, and Expansion Delay. Everything else is vanilla OpenMW
Hello! I know this is not a video about Daggerfall, but I found out why your "Darker Dungeons" mod doesn't work. It's because you have an old version of "Distant Terrains" (I know, random). I did some testing because I have a mod list similar to yours and updating Distant Terrains to the latest one solved the issue of torches not being dousable to me. Hope this helps (along with my other comment about not using F to fast travel in another video of yours)!
Hey thanks for the tip! I actually resolve the issue with a different mod conflict. My Critical Strikes mod was outdated and an update fixed it. I previously used Distant Terrain but it kills my fps when I'm doing overland travel 😅
Free climbing is great. If you don't have a NDE on the reg, are you really living? Urbex is great, but you gotta really know the legality an' have decent sneaking skills. Luckily Scotland has right to roam, but many places can prove sticky if folks catch someone in the act. Vivec City is horrible. It's confusing in the blandest way, and puts me off Morrowind entirely whenever I remember it.
For me it's definitely escapism. Life DOES SUCK. Mind you, I'm not depressed either. I actually like my life. But life itself just sucks. The drudgery of work. The rich getting richer. We get old and die. It just feels so meaningless. Like I said, my life is fine. It's the bigger picture that I'm talking about. Maybe it's existential dread, but it just feels so pointless. Fantasy games are 100% escapism for me. The more immersive the better. No, I'm not an idiot. I know that it's all just a video game and doesn't have any affect on the real world. But that's part of what makes fantasy games so great. Because it's not the real world, because the real world SUCKS.
Because our modern lives are boring, but necessary. Adventures are fun, but unnecessary. I do however sometimes consider taking on an adventurous life, since a boring modern life isn't 100% necessary. As a human you need food and water to live, so theoretically you could travel the world on foot, living an adventure.
Maybe i do not know what escapism is, but isn't it exactly using games as a way to easily get experiences and interactions that you can't get or that are hard or dangerous to get in real life? You say that RPGs are not escapism to you and then immediately proceed saying that they're a way to escape from the limitations of real life.
You make a good point, and this is something I considered when jotting down my notes. This is perhaps arguing semantics, which I never really find to be a fruitful kind of argument, but my idea was that escapism has connotations of depression and/or a dissatisfaction with the real world. I am not (currently) depressed and I actually love the real world. I see these cathartic experiences as supplements to the real world experiences, not a replacement for them. But yes this idea is nearly indistinguishable from escapism and each viewer will have a slightly different definition of escapism that will muddy the waters a bit.
great video, i really wish you talked over gameplay with a script and showed pictures of concepts on screen, with those 2 small changes i think you'll find success you deserve, or this is how you wanna do it and that's that, great video subbed
Yeah I appreciate the feedback, but this is basically the format I'm going with for now. It's easier on my schedule to do things this way, but I also want to give off an informal and friendly feeling as if we're in the same room shooting the breeze about RPG topics as I play. The result is a bit of stammering and other mishaps, but I don't mind imperfections.
about music, play the exploration music in the background on windows media player or something so you get to hear it while having the in game music off, also the dork bandit!! good personal lore xD also for urban exploration, find out why the place shut down first it can be dangerous and if you find glowing shit in a medical buiding, report it you just found a commonly used but dangerous bit of radioactive shit responsabile for one of the biggest radiation contamination incidents ever
I’m just trying to find my dad man
You dropped this ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ ,
he went straight to the farm milk fresh from the cow
I'm trying to find the milk
My dad-man
Fallout 3 be like
I was raised by a single mother with a very low income, and in my youth adventure games were the only travel and escape I had to adventure :)
💯
Relatable. I don't think I use RPGs for escapism now, but I certainly did for a looong time
The modern world is largely safe, basic needs have been met, but it is extremely repetitive and mundane. Work is often alienating. There is little possibility of adventure or serendipity. RPGs are great for providing a self-contained simulacrum of adventure.
Thanks to your comment, I now know what the word simulacrum means 😎
It’s freedom for me. I can stay at an inn, go round to the shops, go on an adventure, explore new lands..no alarm clocks in Daggerfall
14:50 " I find it very thrilling to...have to duck and run from some sort of opposition. I don't know why that it is..." -> 28:15 "" when I was 17 years old, I got arrested for stealing Magic: The Gathering Cards from Wallmart"
also...
RockClimbBuddy (at next gathering): So I am an NPC! Well Valiant Vermin, would you like to do a dex check on this course?
Micah_Raygun_ : Yes and Yes. (he said Bluntly)
can't steal irl anymore, restricted to RPGs now lol
I also have a bit of roleplaying autism but mine is a little different. So the way I see roleplaying in videogames is also as a thirst for *stories*, and the beauty of the small things. I don't want to necessarily be the hero, I want only to live all sorts of lives in all sorts of worlds. Like Sylvia Plath said, “I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in my life. And I am horribly limited.” Videogames are, therefore, a way to impersonate and feel what it is to be someone else (and, in a way, I live this sense of multiplicity IRL too). I don't know why I have this fixation, but I literally randomize from a list of videogames that allow this, and then (more or less randomly) make up a character to play as in that videogame - this allows me to live as literally any type of person in so many different universes, and therefore I get a hugely wide possibility of stories to make up and lives to impersonate.
It's interesting that Sotha Sil said they vivec had that same - or at least a similar - kind of craving
"He has a poets despair. Vivec craves radical freedom - the death of all limits and restrictions. He wishes to be all things at all times. Every race, every gender, every hero, both divine and finite... but in the end, he can only be Vivec."
When I first heard that quote a little lightbulb went off in my head because that's almost how I feel when it comes to like.... Character creation analysis paralysis and character re rolling in RPGs.
@@MrTauren1996Wow, I had never seen that quote before, it's so beautiful... Thank you. Poetry is my very favorite thing in the world and Vivec is my favorite TES character so that quote really spoke to me
@@alexandrepires4159 it's from ESO which I haven't played. My boyfriend slang it to me once I started talking about Morrowind again.
I really love these philosophical ponderings of RPGs. You’ve quickly become one of my favorite UA-camrs, keep it up!
Good question, very philosophical.
the sacred AND the propane
Not shocking that your irl hobby is literally one of the daggerfall skills lol. Love the videos and I appreciate the time you take to make them! :)
This is also why it's so hard to not use Climbing as a major skill when I play Daggerfall 🤣
@@micah_raygun_lol my first play through I picked running as a primary. I purposely skipped the horse and ran everywhere
Your point about regressions leading to new forms of success was something I needed to hear right now. Thanks man. I'm homeless and it's a real struggle to make any real-life progress. That's why I play RPGs every night. The progress I make in a fantasy world feels more rewarding than the tiny steps forward I take in my daily life. But when those steps finally lead to something tangible, it'll feel a hell of a lot more rewarding than the numbers on a screen.
Adventure is taking ourselves outside of our comfort zone, videogames allow us to experience new things without giving up comfort.
I get a sense of accomplishment/joy when I participate in roleplay with others, and my character is enmeshed and integrated with the fantasy setting that the story is taking place in. Like, I enjoy the part where I contribute to the wider verosimilitude or coherence of the setting through my character's presence, personality, etc. I'd like to think that in doing that I enhance the wider illusion that the world we're playing in is actually real and vibrant.
Very well spoken amigo. We view the world in a very similar way 🙏🏼
I believe that RPG games are a fantastic avenue for being able to mold and create a character to live through vicariously, and having a world with few boundaries leaves plenty of room for you to create your own limits if that's what you desire. That's what I think has me coming back to games repeatedly such as Daggerfall and Morrowind, or even more linear games that wouldn't even fall under the veil of an RPG game, like Thief II. They provide the opportunity to make decisions that feel meaningful in a minimally restrictive environment, and allow you to derive those childlike feelings of exploration and discovery under whatever guise you'd like.
Videos that are stream of consciousness just like this end up being some of my favorite forms of content on this platform. Thanks for sharing.
Very thoughtful video dude. I think that you frame and answer the question you posed quite well, and in a way that likely speaks for many other people, myself included.
This is one if the best videos ive ever had the pleasure of viewing. I no longer feel like suppressing the RPG in real life way of thinking. It always helped me with many many things, but a part of me was embarrased and felt like it was probably wrong to keep dealing with life in the same way I may deal with a problem presented to me in a well done video game.
My biggest take away from this though is to realize im just an NPC to other people. If i can convince myself of this, my social anxiety is put to ease. Im not the main character that everyone is looking to for answers and saving. No one is concerned with what an NPC is doing and thinking, unlike how i irrationally believe everyone is when im normally anxious.
Huge load off. Appreciate you making this.
So glad to hear that this stuff resonated with you. We tend to put too much pressure on ourselves in social situations--as it turns out, taking it easy is a crucial survival skill!
Been going to my feed daily to see if you uploaded, been hyped for your next video!
Was listening to a CS Lewis lecture and this pops up, you're in good company! Im so happy for you and your channel Micah! So many thoughts on this topic as you know.
One of the allures of RPG progression and achievement over its real life counterparts is that in life its not as clear. Being a good father and provider is not reached at a certain number where you get a satisfying level up sound. Just imagine how good we would be if we saw our skills and level ups (or downs...) in a beautiful rpg style menu with trophies etc.
I saw that you had begun making videos a couple of days ago and havn't had time to write you. It's doing amazingly well for such a new channel! I really really hope you keep doing good and for that I think you should stick to this type of content (also the "Rant about x"), it really suits you. Let's Plays will probably feel fun at first but they tank views and subs wich might not seem important but its part of the motivation over the long run, and each will LP lock you in for a long time and when you are 1/3 way through you might want to do something else but you feel obligated to finish it etc etc.
Best wishes!
Yo hey there Art! So good to see you here.
Yes our irl progression is much more abstract and can be hard to detect and quantify. I think having these kinds of discussions in your streams helped me get interested in making these videos. This channel's success is largely due to your inspiration and the community's love for your channel, so I'm very thankful for your contributions!
Regarding the content, yeah I'm aware that LP's aren't good for viewership or subs, but it's so satisfying to be able to share my adventures with people. There are some folks out there who enjoy the content, but I also want to beat Daggerfall's main quest ironman on camera! I recently finished a run but wasn't recording it.
My concern is that if I make only discussion type videos I'll run out of content too fast, so posting the LPs gives me time to allow inspiration to find me.
Thanks again for watching bud! Hope you've been doing well.
Really enjoying your discussion videos. Have you ever played Terraria? It’s one of the few games (Morrowind is on that list also) that have truly made me feel like an adventurer. This will probably make me sound clinically insane, but exploring that game’s depths and solving its mysteries gave me the same feeling backpacking used to give me. It may even feel better. There’s a large portion of the game where you’re still weak enough that enemies/traps need to be respected and your options for mobility and storage space are very limited so you have to carefully traverse every area you explore. To this day I don’t think I’ve played a game that does that gameplay loop as consistently well as Terraria did. It’s a magical experience.
I was hoping for another vid from you to go with some beers tonight and you delivered!
You adventure because there is a positive reinforcement doing it. It might be escapism, some trascendental exploration of meaning and other abstract concepts... or maybe you just get into a state of focus similar to meditation, even if you do not intend to "escape" from anywhere. There are absolutely skills and knowledge to get from a game, also, especially more complex games, like hardcore RPGs, grand strategy or simulations.
Regarding the three motivations described, I have had all of them playing a part in the games. You can play Overlord 1 simply because it is hilarious, regardless of how you feel or what you look for; you can play Victoria II and get so focused on the political machinations of slavery and elections that you lose track of time; or you can play Disco Elysium and have some very nutritious food for thought every 30 seconds or so of gameplay.
I grew up exploring woods, abandoned buildings, random junk and all that kind of stuff, drew maps of places too, so I love adventure games to recapture that feeling. Even growing up the games gave me inspiration to do stuff outside, i'd play some Zelda then go outside and start cutting down bushes haha.
Good thing you're off probation because you've stolen my heart!
"with little power, responsibility is boring" - Buncle Uen
The idea of the "mirror" that you talked about definitely explains why we play video games (especially RPGs)... Just like the reason why people consume fiction in general. I mean, fantasy worlds offer us an analogy to our real world... being a metaphorical reflection rather than a direct one of our reality, it allows us to observe this reflection from a more distant perspective (and therefore, with a lighter heart). In the end, when we exit these fictions, I feel like we carry some of that philosophical distance and lightness of heart to confront the real world. Even though, when we enter these fantasies, we feel like we're just escaping from it.
So: Your analyses are really good. It reminded me of guys like Noah Caldwell-Gervais, Thor High Heels, or Lorerunner. Guys who go beyond a simple comment on "the overall state of gaming" and provide a more elaborate analysis of the experience that video games offer. Congratulations.
Really cool video my guy, I won't be lying when I tell you that not two days after you post a video I start purpousely checking my youtube notifications to see if you have posted anything else!
I agree with a lot of what you are saying. I got into rpgs and videogames in general because when I was a kid I figured out quickly, and I am not proud of it either, that I enjoyed lying and pretending a little bit too much. For me video games became a place to do that, my first gaming experiences were like loading into my older brother's saves and running around just looking at a single cave or some shit. So I kept coming up with why this character is here, where all this stuff in their inventory came from etc., and somehow I got more pleasure from it when I knew that my stories are not true neither in the context of my brother's playthrough nor in the game in general.
Nowadays I really enjoy randomising a character whenever possible, in dnd or videogames, and then trying to embody or fill them with the stuff that seems like it would come from them I guees. So roleplay for the sake of playing some role, doesn't matter which, and various levels of difinedness of the role are really welcome (for the opportunity to improvise).
"DO YOU EVER WONDER WHY WE CHOOSE TO ADVENTURE?"
Ok I resisted the first 2 charming videos but I'm not made of Daedric matériel. Compelled to sub.
one of the reasons i love RPGs is i enjoying getting to explore new worlds and getting to do and see things that could never happen in real life its really fun to dive into a dungeon or somehow beat a boss or high leveled enemy that you managed to win against despite still being low leveled heck even the experience of running away from a group of enemies you can not beat is its own kind of fun there are just so many encounters you can have in these kind of games that you really cant get anywhere else
I got into climbing, sold all my stuff, moved into my car, and headed tf out of Toledo in my early 20's. Why? I blame (in a good way) the fantasy novels, RPGs, and other media that I obsessively consumed throughout my entire childhood, as well as my inability to form my own personality and only adopting a persona by Frankensteining the traits of all the heroes in my novels, manga, and games.
I've seen and done a lot of dope and crazy things since then and I 100% attribute it to adventure-heavy games, high fantasy novels, and superhero comics and manga.
Oh shit I commented this before I got to your rock climbing section
Simply uncanny that you wrote your first comment before getting to the rock climbing story lol. Outdoor climbing brings out the adventurer in all of us!
@@micah_raygun_ it really does! I got into the habit of trying to classify which RPG archetype each party member best fit. Depending on the makeup of our 2-4 person parties that my main group usually went on trips as, we would tend to play different roles -different areas of expertise and style based on the terrain and whatnot. And each style offered a different kind of adventure. 72-hour alpine ridge traverses were wars of attrition against a titanic beast. Fast-and-light runs up 2100ft Lady Wilson in Red Rock were like pilgrimages to our local deity. When I was soloing it felt like I was sneaking into the den of the gods to steal a piece of their secret fire and take it home with me until it burnt out... And honestly more than anything I realized that it wasn't "as if I was going on these adventures"... Those were quite literally the adventures I was going on. Mt Wilson *was* my local deity, ridges *are* giant dead but slightly living beasts who will unknowingly swat you off their backs to your death as they yawn in their sleep. I *was* making a trip to the void when I soloed, bringing a piece of it back with me. Some days I was a paladin, pushing forward to fulfill my self-reflective oath, other days I was a druid, just giving myself to the oneness of everything.
Magic is real, adventure is real, and they are not hidden things.
I attribute Oblivion to my love of RPG's and of literature. Was the first open world fantasy game I ever played and it blew my mind as a kid. Not to mention what it did for me. My parents and teachers noted my vocabulary getting bigger and bigger the more RPGs I played because they exposed me to so many words. I didn't just copy the one's in the games it sorta drove me to try using bigger and more descriptive words in my day to day which attributes a lot to my writing now. I have family and turbo virgin RPG love to thank for my capabilities to write c:
Oblivion is where I started also! It will always be one of the coziest games in the world for me, and it's simply saturated with beauty and nostalgia.
I really like your analysis on players mirroring characters in fantasy games to be a form of the idealized self. I know not everyone does this, but since fantasy games are definitely a form of escapism for me. I do tend to create characters that are meant to be my idealized self. Which is usually a mage and more specifically, illusion/mysticism/alteration mages (destruction is cool, but I find it kind of boring. Same with conjuration). I think this stems from how these types of mages tend to try to exert control through magic over there world. That appeals to me because there are many things in my life that I'd want to exert control over but cant. This ranges from simple everyday things like being able to control the flow of traffic (I'd kill to have the ability to just teleport vehicles out of my way during a commute). But seeking control also extends to higher functions like how I feel about society or the nature of man. I always play mages/wizards in fantasy games because it lets me play out my own control fantasies.
Hey, Micah! Wanted to add to your rant a bit with something short. I adventure, at least in RPGs, because of the joy of finding myself in situations I don't typically find myself in during day-to-day life. The knights of the old republic series has always been one of my favorite RPGs simply because of the dialogue options and ways you can go about navigating them. You can act overtly aggressive, or unbelievably kind. Most times, especially on my first playthrough, I choose dialogue options based on how I'd actually respond. I used to do this when I was a lot younger and I remember just how real it felt when the way I verbally approached a situation ended in such drastic consequences for someone or myself. It's had an impact on the way I speak to people in the real world.
Anyways, loved this video! You're a great speaker and I'll check out your blog soon
Dude I get it. I play Morrowind and Daggerfall now and then, STALKER all the time, and recently I've been obsessed with DCS. I love to explore these worlds that are created with love and passion. STALKER has an atmosphere and a feeling of sublime nostalgia that reminds me of hanging out with an old friend. It's comforting but it engages me in a way that sitting down with my favorite food and a movie does. It's more akin to going on a hike or a wilderness walk. There's so much to take in at all times from our senses. It does more for our dopamine, especially us ADHDers, than a cluttered and colorful UI and loot boxes. I've always wanted to try tabletop gaming but nobody has been able to schedule a game that works with my schedules. It sucks.
For me, there is an element of craving stories, and being a part of that story is quite appealing. But alongside that, (and this is going to sound stupid obvious), I think people crave the opportunity for success. These games can be moments where we achieve victory in a way that real life doesn't create very often. Was I "successful" today at work? Nothing bad happened, but nothing meaningfully good happened either. There isn't really anything I could have improved. People want purpose and goals, but those things are big and complicated and risky, and I think that sometimes people need to feel like they have goals without having to actually take those risks.
45:25 I ended up studying other subjects, but I always wanted to do an anthropological paper trying to delve more into what makes gamers - and so, people in general - fall into these roles of 'leader' and 'sidekick', or into the typical 'tank/DPS/healer' roles. What makes some of us want to be the big bad monster-killer main character? What makes some of us more inclined to be happy buffing our friends and watching **them** kick butt? Why would I rather keep a bunch of helpful little utility support magics instead of just Fireballing everything to death with damage spells?
D&D's a great go-to example, since I've DM'd for **so** many players/friends over the years, and you really see mixes where some people just want to improv and hat shop for hours, while others (equally validly) just want to whomp things and see their numbers go up.
Anyhoo. It's niche, but I find it fascinating to wonder about. Always love to hear you ramble, you have a great outlook and I like your stories (AND you got me into Daggerfall Unity).
The great thing about this line of inquiry is that it doesn't have to be academic, it can just be internal and experiential as time goes on and you meet new people that gravitate to those roles. For what it's worth, I usually bounce between thief and fighter archetypes, though I often play the role of "the face" regardless of class choice.
I loved this video bro
I’ve never experienced someone just be so real. I’m a new father as well and being a great provider is a goal for me too. Idk what to say, I’m too busy and mentally labored to think of anything intelligent to say, but I appreciate this video as well as I have appreciated all the other videos on your channel. Thanks for being so real man
Glad this stuff resonated with you man, keep up the good work with your family 🙏
Great video Micah, and the format is great too. Keep it up.
I think I have become misaligned with videos games in general, assuming that they're always for escape or always a strict waste of time. But then if you asked me if instead I'd be willing to "unplay" a great game like Morrowind, of course I'd say no. To the degree that games (RPGs especially) are "living stories", I think they're valuable. Perhaps I'm just scarred from the years of youth that I now consider "ill spent" in playing them. I would like to repair this relationship, and perhaps I can do so with Daggerfall soon.
I still can’t believe you started posting only a few months ago. I saw one of your first vids and thought you’d been posting for years, but that wasn’t the case apparently. Keep up the commentary I find it pretty relatable and I’m sure some will find your word choice intriguing
I don't entirely agree that role playing is about embodying characters that have traits that we admire, I'd argue that one reason to roleplay a certain character is that it's narratively satisfying. These two things are correlated, because we often enjoy narratives about characters who we find virtuous in various ways. One of my personal favorite computer role playing experiences though was playing VtM:B with a Patrick Bateman-esque character (I also had the clan quest mod which allows you to commit diablerie and join the Sabbat, which my character did after descending far enough into madness). This was a character very unlike me, who was monstrous and didn't have a particularly sympathetic fall from grace, although I'll have to admit that there where parts of playing that character that where transgressive in a way that I don't typically allow myself to be, which is maybe something I can admire in a way.
I think an important reason why I thought that playing the character was fun was because becoming a twisted monstrous version of what my character started out as felt resonant with the themes of Vampire the Masquerade, and being pushed around to do dirty work for the elders felt like a good in-character reason to get desensitized from violence and hungry for a quickfix to power.
In my opinion... why we like adventure ? Simple as ... what is in our DNA ? Adventure ! Yeah simple ... we are built to adventure and hunt so we can feed ours and us ... locate better places to live and etc etc ... thats why we like adventure...
Great video. You are very smart and articulate your thoughts really well and without a lot of pausing and cutting. Please keep it up, looking forward to more.
Adventure games and Tabletop RPGs always scratch my human itch for exploration--not just the exploratioon of the fantasy world, but the exploration of our deeper selves. Love how much research you pulled from, and your observation of the etymology of "monster"!
My ego can't help but hear maybe a little bit of inspiration from some Sonic the Hedgehog videos that I watched recently 😉 and while maybe I'm grasping for straws there, the fact that your videos helped inspire those in the first place really makes me believe in this platform as a place of self-expression like never before. Each of us building off of and inspiring each other instead of competing for views.
I have an incredible amount of respect for your work already, and that was only deepened by the personal background you shared, and your recognition of your videos as a legacy you leave for your son, no matter the impact of that legacy. I hope your videos and your work take you to wonderful places, like fantasy games have!
Thanks so much Neat! I agree that it's awesome being able to inspire one another and feed into the creative process as a community rather than trying to do all of this in a vacuum. I actually directed another NewTuber to your channel because of how helpful those videos have been c:
I've found out that I simply love sharing stories, not only through literature and playing RPGs, but it's really nice to talk about my son and the various other episodes of my life, especially as they relate to the topic at hand. We live in a story shaped world, and these help to humanize the person behind the mic.
I really appreciate all your support, hopefully I can catch another stream soon!
@@micah_raygun_ 💖
I liked your story about shoplifting. It reminded me of High School.
Some call it escapism. I call it a longing.
Excellent video as always, Mr. Raygun! Thank you for your insight
I can't believe they double booked the room! The service these days...
One of the things i really enjoy about playing just video games in general is the discovery of new things and places! The Elderscrolls series play well into this, but especially for me the Subnautica games! The joy of discovering new creatures and places as well as uncovering the plot, are some of the best times i've ever had gaming. Skyrim and Oblivion were games in particular where i spent countless hours just roaming the world and admiring it! Also unique from Subnautica in the sense of mystery of exploring a strange mysterious place and possibly being attacked by something you've never even seen. That is a big part of RPG's for me, but also like you said it is very cathartic. There is something freeing about pretending to be a different person of your own design. Or not even of your own design necessarily, strategy games are not exactly RPGs but that doesn't mean you can't role play in them to be Julius Caesar leading a legion in Gaul, or Patton during the battle of the Bulge, or even other types of games, like an F/A-18 fighter pilot operating off a carrier. I feel like games can provide us with a window or an experience of what it might be like to live another life or be someone else. Whether we are accurately imitating the life of a WW2 general, a fighter pilot, or a busty argonian isn't particularly relevant to experience either. Maybe it is a bit of an odd opinion, but it draws me to a wide range of different video games and enhances the experience. Great video as always btw!
For me RPG's have always been a way to write my own interactive story. Ended up on this channel as I was getting interested in Daggefall as an alternative to the newer TES games. I haven't started playing that yet but it seems to fit me better from watching your LP. The newer games are great in many ways, but they are structured in such a way that they feel far too linear too me, even if they are open world when compared to something like Baldurs Gate or Rogue Trader.
My favourite RPG isn't actually even "technically" an RPG, it's Crusader Kings. But in reality it's an RPG where you play as a noble, rather than the classical adventurer. The thing that appeals to me in that game is that it's totally free to set your own goals, there isn't any narrative at all. Just because this is a TES-channel I'll use an example of a playthrough I did in Elder Kings, which is a mod that transforms the game from medieval europe into the world of second era Tamriel.
So I was playing as a minor thane of Winterhold and lets just say Harkon went a bit off script and ended up conquering Skyrim. So I plotted to have him murdered, succeeded with the help of other surviving nord thanes and jarls who hadn't been replaced with vampires, and then led the nordic resistance against Valerica, who had taken over, and freed most of Skyrim from vampire overlordship after about 30 years, only to have a god-damned ashlander clan move in during the chaos and conquer Winterhold. So I re-conquered Winterhold and proclaimed myself the High Queen of Skyrim and founded an legacy that would rule for over 200 years, and conquer half of Tamriel, until I played as King Jurgen II "the Naughty". At this point in the game my kingdom was pretty much unchallanged. The Dunmer could put up a fight, but other than that I was the dominant power in the world.
Now, the thing about playing Crusader Kings is that when your character die you keep playing as their legal heir, and while you can try to influence them while they grow up, you don't create them like you do in the character-creator of an RPG. And Jurgen was cruel and insane. And I decided to lean into that and RP the mad king, rather than trying to play optimally. Also he was an half-Altmer as his mother was an high elf, so he had an expected lifespan of 200-400 years. So I learned necromany. I raised armies of Daedra and undead. I moved the capital of Skyrim to Castle Volkihar. I set up my brother Thorkild the Half-Human as leader of the Elder Council. Obviously openly doing all this wasn't popular, and while I did publically still worhsip the 8 divines I was secretly in the cult of Molag Bal, working behind the scenes on starting a daedric invasion. I was deposed as High King, TWICE, but always came back to power and punished the fools who had rebelled against me. Basically I got to RP the reign of an classic RPG villain. In the end he died at age 103 trying to summon an elder god, and his children weren't elected by the moot (shocker...), instead they choose the son of the dragonborn who had married a princess of the Reach, and I kept playing as his more sane heirs as jarls of Winterhold for another 200 years, occasionally being elected as High Kings IIRC, but it was hard to compete against the heirs of the Dragonborn, until I got tired of that playthrough around the time when Tiber Septim would have been born in the actual TES-lore.
None of this was scripted, no one wrote that story, I just played the characters and stories the game handed me. That is the kind of RP I love. A system that can set up a story without having to follow a script. I'm excited to get into Daggerfall to try out a more free-form TES game from the perspective of an adventurer rather than a ruler. I do love the setting, but the newer games are too linear for my taste, and I've played them too much already. So yeah, roleplaying as interactive storytelling is the reason why I play RPG's and why I am currently getting into Daggerfall. :)
Neighbour of mine have sold all his Magic cards in highschool to afford drugs. There are worse things than stealing them.
You're such an interesting person to listen to man. My goal in life is to become a fantasy author, and I've been trying to take a step back with this question so I have a firm understanding of the art I love and want to make.
It really helps me conceptualize how stories can effect the people who read them.
Also love the advice of embracing being an NPC lol it's way healthier to embrace the idea of being an average person and coming to love the idea. It's valuable to see ourselves in media, and there's def some value of those depictions being totally normal especially.
Stay safe on your rock climbing adventures dude ^^
I also like writing fantasy! I used to have a pretty good habit of daily writing, but that has been increasingly difficult to do with the ol full time job / family / UA-cam wombo combo. Please try setting aside 30 minutes or a day to put on the Oblivion soundtrack and put some words on a page if you don't already have the habit. Don't be afraid of sucking or being cringe, it's just part of the process.
Speaking of being cringe, my description has a link to my blog where I practice with short stories if you're ever curious about seeing that side of me c:
@@micah_raygun_That's good advice, I really do need to make more time for writing. I'll check out your stories too! ^^
It’s for the friends we meet along the way ❤
So true! The world wouldn't be worth exploring without the beautiful and diverse NPCs out there waiting for us. Thanks so much for your support ♥
it's interesting you find yourself on this side of the line, I am someone looking for inspiration to play rpg's such as this and specifically daggerfall, but from my competitive background it makes it hard to take steps back to the older systems of games and combat. It is interesting because the line you said about not investing time because of your short life, i have the same view toward rpg's. To me, learning a competitive game is not foreign, and is something i often do, just like how you often find the time to invest into multiple singple player games for hours on end. Just something to consider i thought i might add. good luck to you
Sweet channel man. This is like no other. Keep it please. We need you lol.
so ready for this existential crisis on a friday evening
Hearing you talk about viewing life challenges as a rp opprotunity may have genuinely improved my life. I take a very similar approach to games, especially ones that encourage roleplaying. But have never considered keeping myself consistent in a similar way. Here's hoping to you not dying in a car crash on your way to work!
Yo it's the based SBR Dio poster again! Call it the universe or God or the simulation, it's almost like something out there is handing out challenges to forge you into a greater version of yourself.
I cannot say that I have played adventure rpgs or crpgs much for escapism. Part of the draw is figuring out creative solutions to problems my character is too weak to deal with head on. The emergent gameplay found in these moments makes each run special in some way.
Another aspect is the worldbuilding, especially when it comes to the linguistics. I simply adore seeing how words came to be in a fantasy setting as well as tying them to real world languages. Also, I love the religion in these games. This goes along with mirroring personal desires too (as I myself am religious). Playing a devout warrior or priest who is replete with courage, humility, and unswerving faith is one of my favourite ways to play. It allows me to truly immerse myself in the world and my character's roll in it.
I play rpg because I can be whoever I want to be. Real life is too short to learn all the trades you can roleplay as in games.
Because it's fun.
Great video, lots of pertinent wisdom in both what you said and the comments below :)
hey, love your videos. Not much of a gamer nowadays but I'm designing lore and assets for a game and I find these discussions really useful
IT, Lives in North Texas, used to get in trouble with the law
You're basically me
I think we’re all searching for some great meaning behind all of the things that occur in our lives, but, truthfully, it’s just life. There’s (usually) no greater explanation to individual events. It’s all shaped around our perspectives and outlooks.
My opinion: Art has no inherent meaning outside of that which we give to it through our experiences and humanity. So, it’s super normal to say that games can help your outlook on life!
I love the way you talk about narrative and pace your content. I’m so glad the algorithm brought me to the beginning of the best new UA-camr of 2024.
That's it, my next Morrowind character is Micah Raygun
PS: hello, fellow Texan
Growing up I played more strategy games than rpgs. I love random map generation and I love seeing a city grow from a "natural" world. Also to follow the campaign of an army as it goes from my capital all the way across the map.
One thing about going on an "adventure" from that perspective is that you are already looking at the map, but each turn the "meaning" of each location changes, and I think thats amazing.
Think about a chess game and how intense focus can shift from each quadrant of the board turn by turn. In a sense you could be jumping around all over the place like a Game of Thrones episode
Oh baby you are playing Morrowind now? Very nice
Playing Open MW to scout out some stuff for future videos, and because it's nice to have something different to play when I'm not recording c:
Haven't listened to your thoughts yet (saving this for my travels tomorrow). I read a book called "Fantasy Freaks and Gaming Geeks" that explores the topic of what factors people have in common in turning to escapism through fantasy. Just thought I would throw out that recommendation, I remember it resonated with me as a youth.
I like the idea of seeking catharsis through role playing! Thank you for sharing :)
Very cool dialogue around roleplaying games and pillars of life. Thank you for sharing.
I identify with your experience a lot. Even down to the teenage misdemeanor despite being a good boy lol. I found that same social adventure hub in the weight room as an adult after only wanting to do nerdy things by myself as a kid.
Nice! Once you find some common ground with a group (lifting, rock climbing) it becomes much easier to make friends with your fellow denizens of earth.
I'm sure you know this, but your comment about playing through setbacks was literally on *page two* of the Daggerfall manual. (Page 8 of the PDF). And no wonder, how else are you going to get into the dark brotherhood or thieves guild?
since this character is your first with OpenMW I recommend the Tamriel Rebuilt mod. as a roleplaying mod it's truly awesome to get lost in the added area.
I have TR and Skyrim Home of the Nords installed. But first, gonna see how many people a pacifist has to kill in order to beat the MQ with this character
the thing about the elderscrolls games, they're not real adventures, at least the main story, because they happen within the empire, adventures take place on the wilderness outside, not in the safety of the home, daggerfall main story is court intrigue, morrowind is about fixing a province for the emperor, are you playing the nerevarine or the imperial maid? the illiad takes place outside, across the ocean, odysseus goes into the underworld, jason and the argonauts go to distant islands where monsters live, and so on, bethesda kinda got around this by making the empire old and having it come appart, so the volcano area of vvanderfell is it's wilderness, but why have a treat when you can have the full meal?
You are a really good speaker 🔥
These more contemplative videos of yours are really nice; really enjoyed the Daggerfall ones but Morrowind is my GOAT so this was really nice
Also, have you considered setting up a Discord server? You have a neat little community gathering here and it could be cool to have a place to chat and share our Daggerfall adventures and whatnot!
I think we adventure to train how to live good life.
Hey! Have you played Outward? It seems like it would be the sort of game you like. Very big on exploration. Has survival elements like thr necessity to eat, drink, and sleep. No map markers or fast travel. The game auto-saves so you have to live with your failures, and most of the main quests are timed.
I love Outward! I had a ton of fun making a trap-master and luring goons into rows of spring-loaded spikes and such. Never got around to finishing it (as with most games, it simply drove me back to Daggerfall), but it's a beautiful game with many great opportunities for adventure and immersion.
Because you're cool dude.
I'm curious about your background growing up. Do you have experience studying philosophy, debating, or writing at all? Your speech skill seems to be high.
I was an English major in college, taught English for a while. I like hearing myself talk, which is an asset when making UA-cam videos 😅
man my IQ aint high enough for this - great video still lol
Have you ever played Gothic? It's relatively more linear than TES but it's amazing
See thumbnail from Micah… it’s Morrowind 😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮
OpenMW has really been hitting the spot when I'm not recording my Daggerfall LP, not gonna lie :b
@@micah_raygun_ can you do a video with the mods you like for MW??? Morrowind is definitely my favorite. Been meaning to do another playthrough with mods on, and especially I want to try an Ironman RP run after seeing your DF content.
@@lazybum965I'm afraid I can't recommend much. I've been away from Morrowind so long that I lost the mods I used back in the day. Right now I have Tamriel Rebuilt, Skyrim: Home of the Nords, and Expansion Delay. Everything else is vanilla OpenMW
man daggerfall players think so deeply very based
Hello! I know this is not a video about Daggerfall, but I found out why your "Darker Dungeons" mod doesn't work. It's because you have an old version of "Distant Terrains" (I know, random). I did some testing because I have a mod list similar to yours and updating Distant Terrains to the latest one solved the issue of torches not being dousable to me. Hope this helps (along with my other comment about not using F to fast travel in another video of yours)!
Hey thanks for the tip! I actually resolve the issue with a different mod conflict. My Critical Strikes mod was outdated and an update fixed it.
I previously used Distant Terrain but it kills my fps when I'm doing overland travel 😅
@@micah_raygun_ Glad to hear! I finally gave Daggerfall another go because of your videos and I'm having a blast
Do more do more
life
To escape modern women and usury
Free climbing is great. If you don't have a NDE on the reg, are you really living?
Urbex is great, but you gotta really know the legality an' have decent sneaking skills. Luckily Scotland has right to roam, but many places can prove sticky if folks catch someone in the act.
Vivec City is horrible. It's confusing in the blandest way, and puts me off Morrowind entirely whenever I remember it.
Babe wake up, new Micah Raygun vid dropped
For me it's definitely escapism. Life DOES SUCK. Mind you, I'm not depressed either. I actually like my life. But life itself just sucks. The drudgery of work. The rich getting richer. We get old and die. It just feels so meaningless. Like I said, my life is fine. It's the bigger picture that I'm talking about. Maybe it's existential dread, but it just feels so pointless. Fantasy games are 100% escapism for me. The more immersive the better. No, I'm not an idiot. I know that it's all just a video game and doesn't have any affect on the real world. But that's part of what makes fantasy games so great. Because it's not the real world, because the real world SUCKS.
Because our modern lives are boring, but necessary. Adventures are fun, but unnecessary. I do however sometimes consider taking on an adventurous life, since a boring modern life isn't 100% necessary. As a human you need food and water to live, so theoretically you could travel the world on foot, living an adventure.
Maybe i do not know what escapism is, but isn't it exactly using games as a way to easily get experiences and interactions that you can't get or that are hard or dangerous to get in real life?
You say that RPGs are not escapism to you and then immediately proceed saying that they're a way to escape from the limitations of real life.
You make a good point, and this is something I considered when jotting down my notes.
This is perhaps arguing semantics, which I never really find to be a fruitful kind of argument, but my idea was that escapism has connotations of depression and/or a dissatisfaction with the real world.
I am not (currently) depressed and I actually love the real world. I see these cathartic experiences as supplements to the real world experiences, not a replacement for them. But yes this idea is nearly indistinguishable from escapism and each viewer will have a slightly different definition of escapism that will muddy the waters a bit.
23:50 Damn, he's just like me fr 😢
I love your musings Micah
Hey thanks for sharing your thoughts man ❤
Feels so great that there are videos like that 🥲 So comforting - can't find words, thanks so much
morrowind video hell yeah
great video, i really wish you talked over gameplay with a script and showed pictures of concepts on screen, with those 2 small changes i think you'll find success you deserve, or this is how you wanna do it and that's that, great video subbed
Yeah I appreciate the feedback, but this is basically the format I'm going with for now. It's easier on my schedule to do things this way, but I also want to give off an informal and friendly feeling as if we're in the same room shooting the breeze about RPG topics as I play. The result is a bit of stammering and other mishaps, but I don't mind imperfections.
about music, play the exploration music in the background on windows media player or something so you get to hear it while having the in game music off,
also the dork bandit!! good personal lore xD
also for urban exploration, find out why the place shut down first it can be dangerous and if you find glowing shit in a medical buiding, report it you just found a commonly used but dangerous bit of radioactive shit responsabile for one of the biggest radiation contamination incidents ever
Dork bandit gang wya 😂😂😂