Motherhood, Identity and Politics
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- Опубліковано 13 чер 2024
- A slightly different style of video today. I think I'm going to call this series "casual conversations", interested in any feedback you guys have!
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“Because a) I’m not an arsehole” is my favourite thing you have ever said 😂
I came to say the exact same thing 😂 brilliant
Same. Actually got me to literally laugh out loud.
I dont have any kids yet but I work in local government and I really appreciate the message you are sending to your audience. Particularly about spoiling your ballot if you do not want to vote as it is so important that we use our right to vote and if you spoil your ballot that goes down as a statistic and shows more of a strong message to paliment that you disagree with the way things are run. If you just decide not to vote the politicians will spin it that the UK citizens do not care about the country and are "too lazy" to bother Voting. ❤
The identity part about age is so interesting to me. I’ve always known I wanted to have kids, I love them and was a brownie & guide leader, worked at kids summer camps etc, but I’m now in my early 30s and the practicalities of having a child feel so abstract and life altering now, and I think you’re right because I’ve done 10 years of ‘life’ working on my career and creating my day to day world without a child, so it would be a huge shift. I wonder if this is very common now as people are having kids later in life! I still want to have kids, but it does feel more daunting then it did when I was younger ironically!
Same. I'm actually slightly irked that we (or I, at least) were so strongly given the message that having kids 'too young' would 'ruin your life', but we weren't given any end date on when 'too young' ended. Looking back I wish I had at least considered it.
Bryony I would love to hear your thoughts on the gender pain gap. I know you waited a long time for your adenomyosis diagnosis (and had to go private to get it) and had your lyme disease misdiagnosed as me. I just got my endometriosis diagnosis at the age of 38 after 20 years of being laughed at and am now learning the extent of the problem with lack of research and funding into womens health, lack of treatment options and an average wait of 10 years for diagnosis. Would love to hear your thoughts on this and perhaps an update on your adenomyosis if you wanted to share :)
In my experience the adjustment to parenthood depended heavily on personality. I decided to wait and became a mum at 29 and I don’t feel like it’s a huge adjustment for a few reasons; firstly, my career started much later (post grad school), I’m a very introverted homebody, and being a caretaker is something that I find enjoyment in. I think the difficultly comes into the juxtaposition between your natural tendencies versus what parenthood requires.
What I find so fascinating and really under studied and spoken about is the matrescence - the transition from maiden to mother… so interesting and I think it underlines all the changes in career, socially etc we experience as mothers!
I had my first at 36 and it was the best thing I ever did. I have financial security, a good career in a field I’m passionate about, secured promotion to a senior role 6 months after returning to work and have flexible working to make work work around my family. I never had any identity crisis or significant concerns about “who am I now”, I am mummy, the person I was always intended to be.
Thank you for getting political, so many people shy away from the topic but it is SO important!
I am an introvert and didn't really like going out much and so changing to having a child wasn't much of a change to me I prefer to be with family, and I'm still not outgoing. I am quite a shy person, but my family means everything to me 😊. I became a mum at 27 yrs old
I had my first at 20 nearly 21. So quite young - I think I fell into motherhood young and almost grew my identity as a mum if that makes sense. Now I’m 34 and the eldest is 13 and twins are 8, they are so independent and I am getting to the point where I need hobby’s for myself outside of work but it’s so difficult I do feel like I’m doing things for me and starting to build my character not all based around the children ! Which I never expected I’d feel like this to be honest - I love being a mum ❤
I was 28 when I got preganant after atruggling to conceive for nearly 2 years. My son will be 7 weeks old tomorrow (sunday june 15th)
I found pregnancy difficult (like you I was very sick) the birth of my son was extremely traumatic as he was very ill and nearly died and I've found motherhood very stressful and hard but somehow I still love it and want more children.
I've always been very political tbh but I'm even more worried about the future of this country since having my son, and I think now it is more important than ever to be political. I will never have any shame bringing my views into a conversation and what you've said is really important. Keep using your platform like this. We need people to vote and we need the Tories out.
‘I’m not an arsehole’. Properly made me lol 😂
My partner is a godfather and he has a lot of experience of being a hands on godfather role when nappy changes, feedings and giving the parents a break from parenting out of personal desire to be with his goddaughter. That helps me when it comes to knowing he can be trusted with children and to have a child with him one day would be lovely.
Im a Briony ALSO big into politics. I love the study of it, the analyst programmes after every debate, and so on. I try to stay up and watch the polls come in, i do with US politics too (even though im British).
I will always vote because I'd find it an insult to the women who fought so hard for it, to not vote.
Really appreciate your thoughts on the need to "get political", and I agree with the comment posted prior: you would make a great local representative!
Great advice regarding politics! Another resource for anyone unsure - Vote For Policies is a very useful site that lets you pick policies you like from manifestos without saying who they're from, then tells you the parties afterwards. They are currently updating to the brand new manifestos and should be ready any day now.
I am in a pretty safe tory seat but even here, labour are polling (electoral calculus poll of polls) at only 9% less than the tories. It's wild! And this is with a predicted 58% turnout. I truly think if everyone voted labour could actually win here. I'm most aligned with the green party policy wise but until we get a fairer voting system I know I'll never have them represent me in my area sadly.
The Dumbo bit was so relatable. I sang ‘baby mine’ to my son when he was tiny, just from memories when I was a kid. And then I decided to watch it again as an adult and I cried my eyes out 😅😅
I have a almost 11 month old son we tried for 2 years I made mum friends in playgroups and it’s amazing to have friends that understand but I also have a friend I’ve known since I was 7 so we’ve been friends for 20 years she’s not a mum but she’s his aunt she’s great with him and whenever we meet she knows he’ll be with me I’m so thankful for her
Everything's political. Whether you're interested in it or not.
Such a great speech about GET POLITICAL!
That was my mane tesis after the war 2022 started.
Katya from Russia.
I had my first at 23, second at 34 and third at 37 and belive me I had no idea who I was at 23 and I have always been mature for my age and always loved kids, my husband and I always talk how we really became ourselves in our 30's... he dis a bit later than that and it feels great!
I completely identify with the image of your son adding something to who you are -- a new angle to explore. That is how I feel. I liked who I was before, but I am so much more ME now. There is a depth to my personhood that was not there before I became a mother. And it changes all the time. My oldest is 18 years old. My youngest is only one year old. I am constantly evolving.
Great topic. Yes I have got more into politics since having children. This is for my kids but also trying to help those that can't vote for themselves or don't understand enough to do so. Great video. Thank you.
Love this type of chit chatty video Bryony! That analogy about the Labour Party crossing a slippery floor with a vase is brilliant - if they get erratic or go too far left they might lose some of the more right-thinking tories who could otherwise vote Labour. It’s a very delicate balance and we shouldn’t assume that a Labour government is in the bag!
LOVE THIS STYLE OF VIDEO!!!
My first lil one was a result of abuse n I was 15 (it wasn’t my choice but I didn’t raise her)…
I left home at 16 n met my ex husband n I fell pregnant pretty fast n I had her not long after my 17th birthday… 3 n half yrs later I fell pregnant again n I had my son not long after my 21st birthday… A yr later my ex husband demanded that I was sterilised (I did fall pregnant again several yrs later after a surgeon accidentally knocked one of my clips during an operation but unfortunately my son passed away wen I was 21 wks pregnant…) I’ve since (in 2017) had a hysterectomy to remove cancer so unfortunately no more lil ones for me (although with my failing health n also being 40 in a few wks it’s for the best)… xxxxx
I was looking for information on the whole spoilt ballot thing, as I found it quite interesting, that they would redo the election if over 50% of people spoilt the ballot, but I couldn't find anything. If anyone can direct me to a link or anything, I would greatly appreciate it. :)
I love this kind of content
I don't want Labour or Tories in because neither have great manifestos. I personally feel like Labour say they'll do xyz but have no idea where the money is coming from 🤔 I don't like Tories stuff either.
I sort of like Green but they have no chance and ultimately I know no party is great. I know they are trying to obtain public interest by making promises that'll catch your eye and think oh we need this. Like NHS promises are a big crowd pleaser but it's never going to be better
I don’t particularly want any of the main parties either. But voting for the lesser evil is still worthwhile- you get less evil.
The Tories’ Austerity regime was responsible for 330,000 unnecessary, preventable deaths. The UN Special Rapporteur condemned poverty levels in the UK as breaching international law and the UN have since investigated the UK’s treatment of disabled people and found the government to be in violation of human rights laws.
So even if Labour are lacklustre or less effective than they’re promising, at this stage can it get worse than people literally dying due to Tory policies and the UK, the 6th biggest economy in the world, breaching international laws on poverty levels, having nearly 3000 food banks, and violating human rights laws??
I'm in the US and can so relate to being embarrased about the politics in my country in recent years. The left and the right used to be much more moderate, but have become increasingly polarized in the last decade or two here as well. This radicalization seems to be a worldwide phenomenon right now. I blame the internet for making people more insular in their beliefs, where they can choose to stay in their own echo chamber and hear exactly what they want to hear all day. It seems like the art of critical thinking and the moderating effect of people challenging each other and debating ideas has almost completely gone by the wayside.
Currently, nearly half of my country is seemingly totally fine with electing a convicted felon for president who wants to do away with democracy and become a dictator. It's echoing the brainwashing that occured in Nazi Germany. This is also the party that recently retracted the rights to abortion....and to even get access to birth control in some states. And let's not also forget this is the party that has kept guns not only legal, but readily accessible. It is legitimately terrifying.
Having kids now has also made current political decisions more important to me than ever before as well.
Another American seconding this 😅
It’s so weird to hear that voting is voluntary in the UK. In Australia it’s compulsory for anyone over 18.
from what i understood (i am a politician in the uk) is that this rule is used to penalize the most vulnerable the most. It makes those disenfranchised even worse off. Which i believe would go against the parties she'd be keen on. Best is to make people interested, and make voting easier.
Interesting I’m from the US it’s also voluntary here
I think it’s good that it’s mandatory here in aus, as the people speak and can show their choice! Not just people who are interested in politics
You would make a great MP
...just have an imagine if your baby coming out of you, grabbed a piece on his way out like, "Hey, this part of you gets to be seen now 🤪"
maybe i have an outside view but i saw skynews uk on that lib dem is on top of toris. i love politics and i am childless. i am actualy an past student about politics.
Yougov stats on some ages and regions puts labour ahead with lib dem, tory and reform very close together. I think overall tory is still ahead of lib dem and reform, but not by much and they're trending downwards. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if lib dem come second when we get to election day.
Conservatives still currently second but they keep saying stupid stuff like Rishi saying he didn’t have Sky TV growing up and all his friends at his fancy boarding school did thinking that made him sound relatable. Most of the country when he was growing up, the majority of people at the time didn’t.
There hasn't been an actual labour party sonce thr 1970s.
I live in area where the conservatives bankrupted our borough and now it’s under Lib Dem’s (Woking) we are in so much debt all our local facilities are closing but we’re paying through the nose
Boris Johnson hated the UK public whether we voted for him or not and he made no secret of it. My 20 year old daughter is voting for the first time & she can’t wait to vote against the Tories. I also live in a swing constituency but in our case it’s Tory / Labour.
People telling you to stick to politics are those that disagree with your opinions. Best ignored.
one of my favorite signer is sadly a right wing tw*t. I'd be the one in the comment asking them to stop talking about politics lol
You really don't get tactical voting do you!
I am interested more in voting for green party, however my area is historically a labour borough. Honestly, we just need change. Please please vote!
It’s mandatory to vote in Australia, is it not mandatory in England?
@@dustmite723 unfortunately not
I can’t vote ever for Labour following that their famous note they left in dowing street about spending all the money. For example, there is an independent candidate called King Arthur in my area. I have spoiled my ballot in council and eu elections - the eu one was the last one.
I mean, that guy was an absolute prick (even he recognised that and has since apologised). But the Tories’ Austerity regime was responsible for 330,000 unnecessary, preventable deaths. The UN Special Rapporteur condemned poverty levels in the UK as breaching international law and the UN have since investigated the UK’s treatment of disabled people and found the government to be in violation of human rights laws. And this was all *before* they screwed up with Covid and essentially allowed millions of people in care homes to be unnecessarily infected. So while voting for Labour might stick in the craw after that stunt, I think it’s worth looking at it with some degree of perspective. One guy being a total prick to his successor, or an entire party consistently voting to marginalise the vulnerable and literally kill off hundreds of thousands of people they have decided are not worth caring about… ⚖️🤷♀️
If you're more interested in politics since becoming a mother, and specifically in politics in the way the future will affect your son, I wonder if you would consider joining a parents for climate group such as parents for future, mother's rebellion or mothers rise up? I'm very interested in the role of parents in the fight for climate realism as their stories and emotional reasons behind taking action are often taken more seriously than other activists, I think
I agree with some of what you’ve said and don’t necessarily agree with other, but isn’t that the great thing of free speech?
I mainly disagree with people sharing their political stance on social media unless it’s a political channel. However, that is your right.
Good luck to you in the future.
Bryony: It makes me ashamed to say I am British.
Me: Oh hon, as an American who didnt vote for a fart, just find a way to cleverly tell people in other countries where you stand.😅
(For everyone else in the chat, British English word "trump" is slang for "fart"... but I suspect it is not as common anymore as of 2016 😂☠️)
The liberal democrats actually have some good policies at this election, starting with properly funding health and social care, which we very much need.
Get political
look at the manifestos
look at who's standing in your local area and what generally happens in your constituency
yougov has a map of constituencies in the general election showing what's likely to happen with current voting intentions. if it shows two parties both close to the top, you could think about which of those two you prefer (or of course you could vote for a different one)
They do, I’m voting Labour because in my area it is mainly Labour or SNP.
and you think labour is gunna win you must be a joke