Practical tips that work for me: Everyday, atleast I talk to one random stranger, no matter what. And make a journal of it. It does really work. Believe me
Confidence is like having security over your ability to communicate, and that’s essential if you want to connect with others (and that’s essential to human beings). Writing can give you confidence, simply because you’re exercising your ability to express things. We feel despair when we have no confidence because we feel we may never be able to connect with others again. If you feel this way; don’t worry about the people, but try to put even that emotion into words. You won’t believe the amount of times I’ve felt ‘security’ because I could say somebody ‘gaslit’ me, for example, because then I had confidence that I could express how I felt. (I know it’s all a little paradoxical, saying that feels good too, but anyways, you got this. It’s not out of your reach, and God made you very smart, and to love each other. Amen)
Maybe true authenticity happens naturally when we release the need to be right & appear as “perfect”. That might have been a coping mechanism learned in youth for fitting into a group & as something to aspire to become because we thought the “perfect people” got all the perks in life. But as we age we learn it’s much more complex than that & that we also don’t really know our own selves like we thought we did. So, to move forward & to learn to love/accept ourselves we have to bring that inner world we had hidden away, out into the light. We make mistakes & we have flaws & we learn that it’s ok to not be perfect because nobody actually likes a “perfect person” since perfection doesn’t exist & they are more “fake” than “authentic”. To be authentic is to be ok in our own skin regardless of flaws & how many times we trip. It’s not comfortable to make mistakes but it’s more uncomfortable not to try
Detecting confidence and authenticity, from my point of view, is hard wired when it comes to notice it from others. It's a game of making the right question. E.g: From my experience, the lesser you need to remember what and when you've talked to somebody, the more you're sure of yourself
first of all, you have a wonderful microphone! secondly, you are right, this is really one of the good ways to feel confident. authenticity, sincerity, just being yourself is great, especially when there are people who will accept you. it is a pity that this path is not suitable for all people. as you briefly mentioned, a repressive political regime. because in such circumstances of life it is very difficult to be sincere and really open to people, which only lowers self-confidence and makes a person more closed and unsociable thirdly, it seems to me that this authenticity should mostly be in a positive or at least neutral direction towards the other person (and in any direction in protecting your personal boundaries, yes). I am referring to your example: "Tell me about your job, explain why I should care, because it sounds very boring." to me, this phrase sounds rude and caustic. that's how I used to talk some years ago. and this greatly offended people close to me. that is why it seems to me that there should also be certain boundaries in this regard. being authentic and being openly rude and harsh are two different things. your interlocutor is the same person as you. if we talk about authenticity, then I think it's better to talk to another person openly and in the way you would like them to talk to you. and yes, I fully understand that this is at odds with not running for other people's acceptance. in any case, each person has their own authenticity. and with my authenticity, I would prefer not to be rude to people, even if I really want to express my opinion and myself. for example, in this case, I would say: "I don't know anything about your job. what do you like about it? that would be interesting for me to hear." and fourthly, thank you for your video ❤
Thanks so much for your insight. This hits me hard because I know you’re right! I was frustrated with that person for unrelated reasons, and some negativity seeped out in my response.
@@complexobjects oh, I completely understand you. in such cases, again, you can remember your authenticity. if you feel after a while that you said something wrong, then you can always apologize by explaining that you had no intention of offending or insulting a person, that you were emotional so blurted out the first thing that came to your mind. it's not good, of course, when your authenticity depends on your negative emotions at a particular moment. but it's also not possible to always be the true version of yourself. being yourself all the time is also hard work, not just relaxation and flow. and our authenticity is still changing day by day. it's just that sometimes you need to know that a certain emotion is not needed in some particular situation. and not because it will make you better in the eyes of another person. but because it will be you and your view of yourself now I feel a little awkward, because it seems to me that I wrote something too obvious and unnecessary 😅 but I wanted to write it, so... anyway, I just hope that you and that person are doing well right now
You should keep making videos. I have learned that taking time each day to be with yourself, as in formal meditation, improves one’s ability and capacity to choose authentic behaviors in those moments where one is inclined to revert to old patterns and habits.
The sad pitfall that people seeking confidence, myself included, is that, the very reason you're seeking confidence is what keeps you from being confident. So long as you let your desire to be well liked to dictate your actions, you'll never truly feel confident. Because deep down, you feel unlikeable, let that go, accept the good the bad and the ugly of you, be true to you, become someone you can respect, then authenticity and confidence will come out of you, just like water from a fountain I believe in y'all brothers and sisters, you'll get to be who you choose to be, only need to start believing too
For me confidence is perceived competence. For example lets say you never mowed the lawn before but you did it. You were nervous and didnt want to look like an idiot. Next time your not so stressed and start developing a routine. After several months of building competence and seeing it in yourself you now mow the lawn like champ with no stress and maybe a little fun. Now because you see that you can do it you even feel better about doing other yardwork. Anyways thats my 2 cents spend it well.
Yes yes I understand: first you pretend; then you do it; then after awhile you don’t have to pretend anymore. You have become “it.” Thank you, I totally get it. So simple.
@@JoerideabikeYeah basically use your confidence to build your competence, and then use that gained competence to build your confident. So there will be forever positive feedback loop. Becareful dont be pretending though, accept that journey to become more of a man takes time, and embrace the mistake. Small consistence action matter more
The fake it till you make it process. That is a strong path to confidence. I believe every single person (clinical narcissist’s aside) have imposter syndrome and faking it until we make it is how to overcome this perceived sense of lack
For me : 1) boundaries 2) endless self belief/acceptance, throughout time, not just for the 'good' phases of our lives 3) just doing what you want and what you feel and not caring about outcomes
Love your videos. Your advices are really helpful to me, and I can really connect with what you say because Personality wise I feel we have some similarities. You are cool 🎉
I find this so hard because often when I am talking to people, in moments when I am genuinly just telling something, people get these weird looks and that makes me think: uhoh, what did I say wrong? And everytime I was really expressing what was important to me and what was close to my heart people often become angry with me or distance themselves. And these are not terrible things. But all of this is what is making me insecure. As if I am rejected everytime I am just being me. And then I am judged for not being confident 🤷♀️
My communication skills are very lacking I don't really have people in my life that I can practice communicating to I feel like it would take quite a long time of persistent practice even if I did
what if your authentic self is negative and revealing this will 100% guarantee you negative results to people you care about. like admitting a fault of yours?
Practical tips that work for me:
Everyday, atleast I talk to one random stranger, no matter what. And make a journal of it.
It does really work. Believe me
Confidence is like having security over your ability to communicate, and that’s essential if you want to connect with others (and that’s essential to human beings). Writing can give you confidence, simply because you’re exercising your ability to express things. We feel despair when we have no confidence because we feel we may never be able to connect with others again. If you feel this way; don’t worry about the people, but try to put even that emotion into words. You won’t believe the amount of times I’ve felt ‘security’ because I could say somebody ‘gaslit’ me, for example, because then I had confidence that I could express how I felt. (I know it’s all a little paradoxical, saying that feels good too, but anyways, you got this. It’s not out of your reach, and God made you very smart, and to love each other. Amen)
Yes, I completely agree 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Please don’t stop making videos! The way you teach always resonates with me
Maybe true authenticity happens naturally when we release the need to be right & appear as “perfect”. That might have been a coping mechanism learned in youth for fitting into a group & as something to aspire to become because we thought the “perfect people” got all the perks in life. But as we age we learn it’s much more complex than that & that we also don’t really know our own selves like we thought we did.
So, to move forward & to learn to love/accept ourselves we have to bring that inner world we had hidden away, out into the light. We make mistakes & we have flaws & we learn that it’s ok to not be perfect because nobody actually likes a “perfect person” since perfection doesn’t exist & they are more “fake” than “authentic”.
To be authentic is to be ok in our own skin regardless of flaws & how many times we trip. It’s not comfortable to make mistakes but it’s more uncomfortable not to try
I've consumed so much content about confidence, social skills etc but this was the most simple and effective
Detecting confidence and authenticity, from my point of view, is hard wired when it comes to notice it from others. It's a game of making the right question.
E.g: From my experience, the lesser you need to remember what and when you've talked to somebody, the more you're sure of yourself
first of all, you have a wonderful microphone!
secondly, you are right, this is really one of the good ways to feel confident. authenticity, sincerity, just being yourself is great, especially when there are people who will accept you. it is a pity that this path is not suitable for all people. as you briefly mentioned, a repressive political regime. because in such circumstances of life it is very difficult to be sincere and really open to people, which only lowers self-confidence and makes a person more closed and unsociable
thirdly, it seems to me that this authenticity should mostly be in a positive or at least neutral direction towards the other person (and in any direction in protecting your personal boundaries, yes). I am referring to your example: "Tell me about your job, explain why I should care, because it sounds very boring." to me, this phrase sounds rude and caustic. that's how I used to talk some years ago. and this greatly offended people close to me. that is why it seems to me that there should also be certain boundaries in this regard. being authentic and being openly rude and harsh are two different things. your interlocutor is the same person as you. if we talk about authenticity, then I think it's better to talk to another person openly and in the way you would like them to talk to you. and yes, I fully understand that this is at odds with not running for other people's acceptance. in any case, each person has their own authenticity. and with my authenticity, I would prefer not to be rude to people, even if I really want to express my opinion and myself. for example, in this case, I would say: "I don't know anything about your job. what do you like about it? that would be interesting for me to hear."
and fourthly, thank you for your video ❤
Thanks so much for your insight. This hits me hard because I know you’re right! I was frustrated with that person for unrelated reasons, and some negativity seeped out in my response.
@@complexobjects oh, I completely understand you. in such cases, again, you can remember your authenticity. if you feel after a while that you said something wrong, then you can always apologize by explaining that you had no intention of offending or insulting a person, that you were emotional so blurted out the first thing that came to your mind. it's not good, of course, when your authenticity depends on your negative emotions at a particular moment. but it's also not possible to always be the true version of yourself. being yourself all the time is also hard work, not just relaxation and flow. and our authenticity is still changing day by day. it's just that sometimes you need to know that a certain emotion is not needed in some particular situation. and not because it will make you better in the eyes of another person. but because it will be you and your view of yourself
now I feel a little awkward, because it seems to me that I wrote something too obvious and unnecessary 😅 but I wanted to write it, so... anyway, I just hope that you and that person are doing well right now
You should keep making videos.
I have learned that taking time each day to be with yourself, as in formal meditation, improves one’s ability and capacity to choose authentic behaviors in those moments where one is inclined to revert to old patterns and habits.
You have the most non-cliché advice for socializing that I’ve seen so far. I hope you get more recognition! I’d pay for your patreon for sure.
Bro your recent videos about socialization is actually a masterpiece, great job bro, to be authentic 😊
Brilliant words. Definitely gonna be revisiting this video
I have never heard a clearer explanation of Authenticity! ❤
The sad pitfall that people seeking confidence, myself included, is that, the very reason you're seeking confidence is what keeps you from being confident. So long as you let your desire to be well liked to dictate your actions, you'll never truly feel confident.
Because deep down, you feel unlikeable, let that go, accept the good the bad and the ugly of you, be true to you, become someone you can respect, then authenticity and confidence will come out of you, just like water from a fountain
I believe in y'all brothers and sisters, you'll get to be who you choose to be, only need to start believing too
Another great one, mate! What you say speaks to deep truths.
For me confidence is perceived competence. For example lets say you never mowed the lawn before but you did it. You were nervous and didnt want to look like an idiot. Next time your not so stressed and start developing a routine. After several months of building competence and seeing it in yourself you now mow the lawn like champ with no stress and maybe a little fun. Now because you see that you can do it you even feel better about doing other yardwork. Anyways thats my 2 cents spend it well.
Yes yes I understand: first you pretend; then you do it; then after awhile you don’t have to pretend anymore. You have become “it.”
Thank you, I totally get it. So simple.
I pretend to be a man. I do what men do. I have become a man. Like that, right?
@@JoerideabikeYeah basically use your confidence to build your competence, and then use that gained competence to build your confident. So there will be forever positive feedback loop.
Becareful dont be pretending though, accept that journey to become more of a man takes time, and embrace the mistake.
Small consistence action matter more
The fake it till you make it process. That is a strong path to confidence.
I believe every single person (clinical narcissist’s aside) have imposter syndrome and faking it until we make it is how to overcome this perceived sense of lack
In my world we call it delusion. In ancient times they call it faith
Respecting your self is the best thing that you ever have ❤
So true
As an introvert, this is fabulous video.
Subscribed ❤
For me :
1) boundaries
2) endless self belief/acceptance, throughout time, not just for the 'good' phases of our lives
3) just doing what you want and what you feel and not caring about outcomes
Hi, thanks for sharing your research. I liked how you presented your results. Keep going, your approach is interesting!
Love your videos. Your advices are really helpful to me, and I can really connect with what you say because Personality wise I feel we have some similarities. You are cool 🎉
YOOOO ITS YOU WHATUP GUY
Introspective, great video!
I really like your energy and enthusiasm
You've been giving me real life applicable advice that I just can't stop getting great results from. Fricklicking, thank you so much.
I find this so hard because often when I am talking to people, in moments when I am genuinly just telling something, people get these weird looks and that makes me think: uhoh, what did I say wrong?
And everytime I was really expressing what was important to me and what was close to my heart people often become angry with me or distance themselves. And these are not terrible things.
But all of this is what is making me insecure. As if I am rejected everytime I am just being me. And then I am judged for not being confident 🤷♀️
you seem like a fun person to be around
bro wasnot scared of that spider he said hiyaHHH 👋8:01
Thank you
I love this channel
60 views? Holy schmoly what the heck?
My communication skills are very lacking I don't really have people in my life that I can practice communicating to I feel like it would take quite a long time of persistent practice even if I did
what if your authentic self is negative and revealing this will 100% guarantee you negative results to people you care about. like admitting a fault of yours?
what if I don't even know what my own feelings are
You are wrong. I can ONLY be myself. Never can i pretend to be happy. And im far from confident
Authenticity and confidence sucks