Correction: Men do release Oxytocin during sex. They just release significantly less than women You can watch my video on the effects of hook up culture on women here: ua-cam.com/video/fjHjYXQgOkY/v-deo.html
Testosterone plays a role in how fast it flows through the body ! The feeling doesn't last for us men. But it's important to still participate in the bonding and cater to your woman's need (hug/cuddle) when she releases it.
@@succmywood but all girls want to be treated like they are before you get into a relationship with them. They want to feel like you could have anyone and are graceful because you chose her.
The fact that there are young people like you who can look past the false advertising and see the dangers of hook-up culture gives me hope. Keep up the good work
That’s because of the manosphere not because she has great insight. She’s aware of this as are many women, but unfortunately for most of them they are unable to override their programming. They were programmed to be extreme, it’s not a natural occurrence. The part of the programming that makes it extreme is the fact that they have not only been overloaded with options, but to actively explore all of those options. They have been programmed to attempt to juggle several men simultaneously and that’s what’s causing their dissatisfaction and terrible results. This isn’t going to end because women do not reduce their standards willingly once it become their standard. If they feel forced to do so they will simply just use the guy and a genuine connection will not take place especially when you add on the emotional damage they sustain once that takes place. This hope that you have is not going to actually materialize into anything because of these reasons.
I'm 20 years old and have been with the love of my life since 19, I know it's early to say that, but I genuinely believe it. I hope many others will get to experience what I am experiencing now, I'm not sure how many but hopefully the pendulum will swing back if we keep showing how great it is.
I'm a gay guy and the hook-up culture is very sad. I am someone who doesn't participate in hook-up culture and I had a friend question me recently, "well how will you find a partner?" and that made me feel really bad. It's almost like I have to give my body first to gain some sort of interest and that is not something I'm willing to do. I don't want to feel like a toy to please just for a possible interest. I have been single for 6 years now and I really don't see that changing.
My sister told me she met on a guy on tinder who said he wouldn’t even consider dating her until he slept with her to make sure they were “sexually compatible.” When she refused, he was surprised and pissed off because he’d never been rejected before. He said that’s why she was still single and always would be and moved on. I myself was told I’d die alone if I never gave a blow job. The pressure put on girls to “put out” in order to be in a relationship is, I think, a reason women continuously enable hookup culture.
If you wetched the video fully, you know that girls hit only 15% of guys, so that's the issue with you and your sister, you swipe right guys who are already extremely spoiled, and you just proved it, I actually am very shocked how spoiled they are, when read "no one ever rejected me". Just explain your sister about that 15%, and about the rest massive amount of normal guys, if you tell this story to them, they won't even believe that there are some guys who talk to girls like that
@@ka-md8ue 90% of guys are rejected based on height alone and the remaining 10% are tall enough guys but unfortunately most of those will still get rejected for minor facial imperfections. Remember a 4/10 women will think she’s a model when she puts on makeup and will criticise you for any imperfections even if your lucky enough to pass the height requirement.
What's horrible is even if you don't participate in hook up culture the chance of dying alone is still high. Especially if you aren't the type of man or woman people tend to date. I know many people who are single, some by choice, some by trauma and many by "default".
The reason why depression has skyrocketed is because our culture has reduced all meaning in life to doing whatever is pleasurable in the moment. When you run out of pleasures to be had (or the novelty wears off) and you realize how meaningless your life is, how can you not be miserable?
@@wake5307 "hedonism bad" is quite a common and easy to understand truism. but it lacks any real application to particular factors affecting society. you could apply the same logic to really any era with significant social problems because there's always someone doing things for the pleasure
The reason why men think that all women are gold digging idiots who get plastic surgery done and will cheat on you is because they're all only attracted to the same girls.
Well...history books. I never slept with any of those guys n i know they trash af. Its historical. But hopefully we can have more pro-social men each generation.
As a 22 year old guy, I find hookup culture very disgusting. I think sex is very overrated and being with a girl who loves you back, compliments, and helps you is much more romantic than sex will ever be. I also don’t really like looking at strange random girls in their birthday suits. If the girl was my lover, I wouldn’t mind but I just think it’s kind of perverted. I’ve talked to a few girls recently and I really enjoyed talking to them. Talking to them was the only reward I’ll ever need. I never had a girlfriend before but I hope someday I will. I would also love to have a family. If a girl told me she wanted to wait till marriage, I wouldn’t mind.
There's nothing wrong with valuing virginity and saving for true love, but don't buy into these societal messages that there's something perverted about your sexuality as a man either.
I have hated hookup culture for so long, I feel like this culture is going to plague many young people into a life of singleness. It is exhausting to have to weed through the people that are deeply set into this culture.
You can tell them apart by how they dress most of the time. I went to a school of 700 boys to a college of 70% women and it baffled me how terrible women were at screening douche bags and frat boys
exactly. both men and women participating in hookup culture are going be single for awhile. they think they need a “ho phase” and it’s sad. you don’t need to go through 10 people to have fun or to know what you do and don’t like.
There was a guy who asked me for pictures and i said no and he said why not there's nothing wrong with that 🤯 and that's when it hit me... They see nothing wrong with it because it's been normalized that women do this send nudes.... When ever they ask... I was like yeah no thank you... Just cuz other women do it doesn't mean i will or have to...
@@amyfonseca1766 are you sure he meant nudes i ask that when i give people contacts photis / when i match on dating apps.. and even then some get offended people catfish and if your confident in your looks it shouldnt matter
@@amyfonseca1766 he didn’t want nudes he wanted to make sure you’re not a humongous whale but posting filtered pics or head shots only. We don’t want your nudes, there’s enough pron out here for that.
What I’ve found is that being single in my 20s was extremely hard initially because I would constantly compare myself with my friends that were getting laid or having relationships. But I later got over it when I started earning well because I realized I had leftover time and money to spend on myself and my hobbies. I joined martial arts, learning guitar, learning to cook and eat well, learning advanced coding (this in turn also helped my career) and playing video games. Eventually I found someone to have a meaningful relationship/marriage (when I turned 31) and I’m glad I spent my time doing all that in the 20s because it helped me develop as a person.
I know that feeling as I am in my 20s now. I am a 21 year old guy and I never had a girlfriend or even my first kiss yet. After getting rejected by 2 girls in my college and no luck with 2 girls whom I knew since my high school days and also no luck on dating apps, finally 6 days ago, a girl matched with me on one of the dating apps and for the first time, I had a decent chat with a girl on dating app without getting ghosted. She is a 19 year old girl and for the past 6 days, the chats were decent enough. We live in the same city but different college and different course too. Do you think this time I will at least get my first kiss? I also get worried thinking what if she ends up ghosting me too or wouldn't want me.
@@manosijroy8282 Work on yourself first like the guy above. As for the girl, relax and take your shot if/when it's right. Humor helps too, for both of you. 😃 Confidence, not aggression, is attractive.
@@manosijroy8282 hey bro, I hope things went well for you. If not, don’t worry about things like “first kiss” or “virginity”. These will only make you stressed out and affect your life negatively. Enjoy life and try to love yourself first. I know how it feels since I never kissed a girl until I was 26-27. It sucks but you only need to find one right person. It’s better to be with one person that is good for you than to be in twenty different toxic relationships. When you do find that right person, in hindsight you’ll find these insecurities very laughable. Focus on developing yourself and fulfilling your wishes while you are still single because you might not get the time for that once you are married or in a relationship.
I find hook up culture baffling to be honest. Every time we discuss sexual activates with my work mates in my age group (I'm 27 female) they are all shocked that I'm still a virgin. Some look downright insulted too, and I don't get why. They always complain about their hook ups afterwards and how they need to find 'better men'. Then a week later it is rinse and repeat. I've just told them that I don't need to be married to the guy, but I want a loving relationship where we care for each other very much. I don't understand why that isn't still today's standard.
Exactly for me too. Relationships only because I’m not built for a one night 🤷♀️ I also like the idea of meeting someone organically and going from there
@@purpleviolet9046 I did find a nice guy I'm with online and we've been dating for a few months, but I really had to state my intentions of a serious relationship when online dating. The number of guys who just wanted to have sex first thing was crazy to me o.o I guess that's an online dating thing these days sadly :(
@Trinity M not everyone is like you and wants to have the same life as you. Some people don’t wanna be alone believe it or not a lot of men have aspirations having a family and falling in love
@@r.e.e.2.e Well, good luck to those man in this society lol Marriage is already dropping like a bag of rocks in the ocean of despair, and barely any new marriages will make it past 7 years for a great many reasons. Pandoras box has been open, can't close it back again because the knowledge is out there now, can only destroy the box
@@r.e.e.2.e If they want that they can look into the right places to find the right people. It all comes to the quality of choices. Statistically hook up culture limits the options young adults have. Most look into parties and clubs when they can literally look for partners anywhere else. What ever happened to book dates on the library or walking to a park like come on that’s wholesome and romantic. Be smart and unfortunately many don’t believe in themselves enough to make the correct choices and to stick to it. It’s depressing. I honestly don’t believe most people really benefit enough from hook ups. Most are ordinary lonely people who deep down want real steady connections.
@@bmona7550 yeah that is wholesome and romantic , but even if you wanted to try that nowdays as a young person, it wont happen since this aint like old times and even the thought alone sounds like a trap
Many of my friends, esp. female friends thought they would be cool with casual hook-ups... They were all actually very unhappy, unfulfilled and empty. And my male friends only enjoyed it when it gave them bragging rights, but the whole relationship, or lack-thereof, made them feel even more alone than before
Honestly that’s an interesting point because In debate it could be looked at as hookups are just a means of filling up this space by using it as an instant gratification because you look for a temporary solution to a long term problem which you get from casual sex but then after awhile it becomes not enough so you find it elsewhere and then it just continues as this downward spiral so I think a lot of it is ego and infulfilment in themselves which leads to hookups. I think ego and friendships perhaps have a large effect on it too interestingly enough
As a guy that was 'lucky' enough to participate in hook up culture, I now regret it . I feel as though all the girls within my age group that I would like to settle down with are already taken , and the ones that are left are bitter because they have been used by the same type of a holes I use to be .
obviously its bad for men lmao. Most men don't get many women. It's hard for men to have options. This cultures makes everything worse, especially for men sho don't want hoes
Yea, I also regret participating in hookup culture bc when I finally got with the man I want to marry I'm now all used up and I wish I could have saved it for him.
@@misshestermofet2288 unfortunately you can't change your past , but you can learn from it , and your definitely not used up lol. Men are pretty simple creatures really, if you want to be treated like a queen treat your man like a king . And don't worry about what that other guy said , half these red pill guys just straight up hate women, but more then half of them would put a ring on the first girl that gives them a chance
Yeah so this hit hard for me. I’m 21 and I’ve never been in a relationship. Never done any of those things that everyone has seemed to have done in high school with the first kiss, first homecoming, first date, prom, etc. It was the worst feeling ever for awhile. When I got to college, it didn’t get any better. Girls talked to me just because they wanted to hook up and could care less about me which made me really depressed especially once the pandemic hit. I didn’t know who was really there for me anymore or who actually cared about me. I’ve had situationships with flirting and talk back in high school, but it never went anywhere. Then college as I mentioned, when I tried to, it just ended up with the girls playing into hook up culture. I never gave into it. I think the worst experience I had was this girl and I were talking for months. We had class 2 times a week, so we saw each other 2 times a week, and lived in the same dorm building so I occasionally saw her outside of class too. We sat next to each other in class and she would flirt with me all the time. Naturally I did too. Covid hit and campus shut down, so I got her number and we continued to talk. One day she told me she wasn’t into me and knew that I was. That it had nothing to do with me because I was a great guy. She later ended up ghosting me and then 2 months later tried to get me to hook up with her. When I tried asking why after all this time and why she was doing this to me, she told me to stop asking questions and that she’d never speak to me again after. That it was a one time thing and no strings were attached. As I mentioned before, I never gave into the hookup culture. But that experience was really painful for me because I never felt such an intense connection with someone before and to know that all she wanted was to hook up with me for months killed me. I worked on myself and have been happy being single without having any situationships for over 2 years. I feel a lot happier and content in myself, confident in what I want in a partner, can sense the bs in people from initial convos of what they want with me, and most importantly just stay true to myself. I’m a hopeless romantic as well, so that doesn’t help this day and age
You need more girls in ur life not 1 girl. Especially as a romantic you defffffffff need more girls or u get attached too much too soon. I'm not saying screw them.. just talk .. hang out more.i don't get it.. did you have sex or. Na?
@@YasminMahnaz I totally get that but I’m also not the type to be having 6 different girls I’m talking to all at once. I didn’t have sex with that one girl because I wasn’t gonna lose my pride and dignity for sleeping with a girl who used me, ghosted me, and overall didn’t give a fuck about me. I knew it would’ve ate my up had I done it.
I am 46 and still a vìrgin and never had a girlfriend so think how I feel. You are only 21 so you have plenty of time and you are young enough to date young women in their early 20s whereas most women my age are either single mom or divorced so they have too much baggage. I am thinking about going for younger women in the 26-35 age group. I am open to dating a 22 or a 23 year old woman too but I have no idea whether they would date a 46 year old man so maybe I can for a 26 or 27 year old woman so she would be young and matured at the same time.
@@lostecho5318 tbh just because women in their 40s are single with kids or divorced doesn’t mean they have “too much baggage.” I knew a girl who was 18 talking to a 40 year old guy because that was his same claim on not dating women closer to his age. I get it, I totally do. You don’t wanna deal with everything that could come with being with a single mom or divorced woman, but hey I mean my parents did it. My dad in his late 30s met my step mom 10+ years ago whereas my mom married, divorced, and then met a better guy who’s 6 years younger than her, and are married now. He has a kid from his ex wife and then of course my mom has kids like me and my sister from my dad, as well as my 2 other siblings from her ex husband. My now step dad didn’t care at all and it didn’t bother him because my mom is a great person. Don’t let that type of stuff discourage you or make you feel like it’ll be too much to take on or handle. If you love someone enough, that shit doesn’t matter. I know I’m young and have plenty of time, so I can only hope I don’t end up in the same position as you. I’m sorry to hear that it’s been that way for you though. Going for girls in their late 20s isn’t a bad idea, but going for early 20s isn’t. I mean if the girls are down then I guess it’s fair game, but my only thing when people date others half their age is that the younger person could legit be their kid in the sense where if they have kids or if they did then there’s a chance that late 40 year old has or would have kids the age of the younger person. My gay roommate from freshman year of college was 18 dating a 31 year old gay man. For me it was odd, but I understood how hard dating is in the lgbt community, so I was just like whatever. I don’t know if the relationship worked out as I stopped talking to my roommate after freshman year, but 🤷🏽♂️. At least for me right now, I wouldn’t date anyone younger than 4 years nor older than 4 years as well. So basically 17-25. I could be persuaded on dating a woman in her late 20s possibly as well, but it would take a lot for me to do so. Meanwhile 17 May sound like really creepy, but it’s the age of legal consent so if I met someone who was mature and was 17, as long as it was consensual on their part then why not. I’m not a very sexually driven person and for me it’s solely based on the mental, emotional, and spiritual connection I feel with people that drives me to want a relationship with that person.
This woman is not only grounded but she is smart and switched on AF! Men and ladies listen to this lass as she is spitting facts here! We need more people like this gaining traction in the online social community and being heard because she is telling the truth. I give you props sweet for posting this message. ❤
Unfortunately the problem isn’t going to stop I’m in high school right now and one of my female friends was having a conversation on the bus yesterday she’s 14 and she’s talking about how she’s already had sex with two guys and another boy was saying oh that’s not bad for a girl who lives in this town now with all the knowledge I have I’m thinking what the hell and yes she lives in a Christian household😂
But a lot of things that goes on I have to keep to myself there’s this girl in one of my classes who’s 15 she already has a child and guess what the teacher is essentially supporting her behavior and she literally yelled out I’m getting D tonight in another ghetto part of the state
Yeah growing up I’ve had my male friends roast me for being a virgin and not having “fun” with women and ngl some of the roasts were funny, they even had me laughing. What’s weird is that as time went on and we got older (we’re in our mid 20s now) I noticed some of them develop this mental problem (I’m not a therapist or mental health worker I don’t know how to phrase it properly) where they can’t emotionally bond with their girlfriends. Some of them who are older than me are kind of envious that their siblings or cousins are married and in good relationships. I guess this isn’t just an issue for older women who can’t find a partner because of their past but men too, I was watching a video with Aba and Preach and Aba mentioned that Andrew Tate and other rich men are sometimes sad at the fact that they can’t find a good woman to be in a relationship with cause they spent so much time having fun (don’t quote me on this I was summarizing what I watched, could have missed out a couple points too) which kinda makes sense. Till now I don’t like “hook up culture” and it is something I don’t think I’ll ever participate in regardless of what my friends say. I have no problem with other people who like to hook up for fun though just don’t try wasting your time convincing others to do what you think is ok for you.
Nice to see another guy who values purity and true love and shit. I might be a beta now, but we'll see who's laughing in sixty years with my rock solid marriage!
Yeah this "hook up" culture is ass. I've never liked the "Hook up culture" it doesn't benefit anyone, just causes issues for people who wants something real. But women think all men are trash.
64 year old man here. I had a one night stand once. It was the worst sex of my life, by far. I've only been in 4 relationships in my life, but 3 of them have lasted between 8 and 15 years. The 15 years would still be happening if she hadn't passed away. Love and sex together is so much more fulfilling than cheap sex. I think you're on the right road.
Thank you Xina, as a gay man, I've lost several meaningful relationships due to my partners choosing hook-up culture over strengthening a loving relationship. Hook-up culture among gay men has not only become the "only way to meet a guy", but also becoming the norm for relationships, open relationships, cheating, 'one-sided' polyamory. I'm sure you can understand why too... A male's dating strategy is polyamory, so when the dating pool is all men, what happens? They are all chasing the thrill of sex, and dragging many many innocent people, who would rather love, into it. You give me hope Xina. Thank you.
@@nt6444 I think the point is that the majority do not care at all, or even encourage this behaviour for others as if it's the best way to live. If you don't see a problem with the way you're living, then there is no 'problem'. At least if someone can recognise there is a problem, that's a step to making a change.
Yeah, i feel so sad for gay men who deviates from the hookup culture. All the male gay couples I've met so far that are in long-term relationship or even married for decades happened to be in open relationships. I was at first so happy to see like, e.g this couple together for years then I learn the've been in a open relationship for a bunch of other years. Then I feel disguised, especially because there is a high prejudice against gay couples that is they are no able to stay together for so long, I tought those couples prove them wrong but actually not. It's easy to be in a relationship when It's open while you are "fulfilling" the most mundane human lusts even if don't know exactly what you are looking for. The ethics of affective responsability shifts tremendously and become less strict therefore easier. I remember meeting this gay couple that were married for over 10 years at a party and both were wildly kissing every other boy they met, mostly much younger than them. I find it sad, not because I'm against the ones who chose poliamory but because it seems like a desparate search for fulfillment that they never find, they are always thirst and looking for the thrill like an addict. Same for a lot of straight men but the thing is that as you left implicit, the numbers of straight women engaging in hookup culture are lower than men general, also a lot of women don't buy the idea of open relationship.
@@trinity4827 It's all about the never ending search of lust, never truly satisfied or able to control the urges that eventually can ruin and hurt a lot of people
I was listening to an ex s*x worker and she was talking about how she regrets having casual interactions with men and she believes that the rise of s*xual empowerment for women didn't benefit women but it benefited men. To a certain extent, I agree with what she is saying but that only applies to guys who don't want relationships and often, the only guys who benefited for it were the top 10% of men. Most men want to be in relationships and want to connect with someone on a level that is above just having intercourse. Hook up culture is good for government; it keeps everyone single so most people go through life having their own apartments, living alone instead of living with someone and having a family. 2 individual people spending money is better than those 2 people coming together and gathering their resources because the government receives more money from both sides. Hook up culture fs everyone.
SPOT ON!! the sad statistics is female empowerment and hook up culture is lying to women and creating a generation of older women (and men) living much shorter lives . . . I love you thoughts but I think aside from the government its also a lot of coorporations who benefit from single women and men with a higher earning capacity spending for a longer period . . Stable relationships slow spending as both people's goals change dramatically.
Nah mate, hookup culture is HORRIBLE for governments: - it leads to lower child birthrates, leading to a depopulation, and a reliance on external immigration that is both costly and politically divisive. And, later down the lane, you get 2 populations: a) pool of hoes that have been ran through, yet maintain weird expectations, and b) resentment men that have now grown bitter. These 2 populations are unlikely to form long term, functional families and then lead to a later bomb: mass of individuals with no social ties to help maintain them through aging. Imagine trying to later care for that aging population of disconnected individuals? Horrible challenge. The whole thing is a massive cancer, brought forth by self-interested corporate interests, incompetently disinterested governments, and moronic feminists that get offended at the thought of long term consequences.
@@adriangallyot4193 sadly men aren’t falling for it anymore due to laws and the narcissistic materialistic people out here they rather die alone is what they say so even if most girls do want marriage it’s pretty much over in US as it’s declining
I'm very hesitant to get into a relationship, since i've seen people betray their spouses so many times. Be it affairs, or smaller thing and its just... really discouraging. I'd rather just remain alone, than risk getting backstabbed like that. I feel like hookup culture has had a hand it that
Thank you for creating this video. As a 64 year old man, I 100% agree with everything you said. I believe that you can be one of those older, still in love after all those years, still holding hands couples. There are men in your generation who want that too. You don't need the mojority of women to decide they don't want to take part in hookup culture for that to happen. You just need to decide that you aren't going to take part in hookup culture, and look for the love of your life. Know that the love of your life isn't one special person out there waiting for you. The love of your life is someone who wants to be together for the long haul as much as you do.
I think she will be too, she said in her last video that she's been in a relationship for 7 years. I think she was referring to the rest of us poor souls when she said there won't be many old couples from her generation. It's said that her situation of having a long term relationship, whilst still so young isn't as much of a norm anymore.
Monogamy is no longer tenable in the West. Stop advising men to change the unchangeable. All you are doing is creating more men that will eventually delete themselves after hitting their head against the wall countless times and seeing no results. #EndTheWest
obviously its bad for men lmao. Most men don't get many women. It's hard for men to have options. This cultures makes everything worse, especially for men sho don't want hoes
People need to understand that being in your 20s and not having much or any relationship experience isn’t nearly as “uncommon” or “strange” as media makes it out to be. I’ve been in 2 committed relationships with a single hookup in between which isn’t necessarily a lot but it’s still more than a large portion of my close male friends and I’m in my 20s. It’s really only a small amount of men who strongly benefit from hookup culture and even then many of them won’t benefit from it for very long. Don’t freak out because you’re 22 and you haven’t had a girlfriend, there’s plenty of time ahead of you and it’s way more valuable to make sure you experience the right kinds of relationships and you’re patient enough to find the right kind of person for you than it is to just jump into dozens of hookups as soon as possible.
I have a question though. What if *theoretically* (I would never) you hookup with a bunch of people while looking for the person you actually like? And then settle down with her. Absolute win right?
I am a 21 year old guy and I never had a girlfriend or even my first kiss yet. After getting rejected by 2 girls in my college and no luck with 2 girls whom I knew since my high school days and also no luck on dating apps, finally 5 days ago, a girl matched with me on one of the dating apps and for the first time, I had a decent chat with a girl on dating app without getting ghosted. She is a 19 year old girl and for the past 5 days, the chats were decent enough. We live in the same city but different college and different course too. Do you think this time I will at least get my first kiss? I also get worried thinking what if she ends up ghosting me too or wouldn't want me.
@@sugoi9680 As much as people want to think that just hooking up with anyone won't affect things when you finally decide you want to settle down, it does. From comparing partners to desensitization there's a whole plethora of baggage that body count accrues for both sides
The phase “sex sells” started it all… I was born in 2000… I’ve never been in a relationship, I’m a virgin. Sex/sexual innuendos has been in everything I’ve seen my entire life.
So you're 22. You're young. Had sex for the first time at 25. Now I'm 29. You still have time. And I think is better to have sex for the first time in the 20's, you're more mature, more ready let's say. Many friends of mine who had sex 1st time in their teens told me it was horrible. Not my case, it was wonderful.
@@chusty93 Wrong. Having sex when you aren’t ready is detrimental, and no, you’re not mature in your 20’s that doesn’t happen till you’re 30’s. Why do you think so many 30 year olds say this…
@@tiahnarodriguez3809 "Having sex when you aren’t ready is detrimental" That's what I meant... Do you understand what you read? "you’re not mature in your 20’s that doesn’t happen till you’re 30’s" Maturing is a constant process as you grow older. It's not something that stops at some age. My point was that in your 20's you have more maturity than in your teenage years, so you are better prepared for sex in your 20's than as a teenager.
As a millennial woman, I've never really bought into the whole hook up culture thing. I've always felt like it was dysfunctional when you get to the root of it, for both men and women. I had one "hook up" as a curious twenty-one-year-old, and decided never again. It just didn't suit my personality and felt pointless and not even that fun. I concentrated instead on dating for committed relationships and that's what I've spent most of my 20s doing. I've had girl friends who regularly do the whole Tinder carousel and many stay in these crappy situations with random men. And almost all of them deep down DID want a meaningful relationship, but they were participating because that's what they thought they should be doing. Anyway, I'm relieved more women (and men) seem to be realizing some of the toxicity of what hook up culture pushed.
it often seems the way too many people conform with perceived norms, like the old ausch experiment, the participant asked to give the correct answer verses a group unanimously giving a different answer, many of the participants eventually give the same answer as the rest of the group, the wrong answer. I think one thing kids today need a lot more of, is the will not to conform, to think for ourselves and stick to the answers we came across, people arent so stupid they cant choose for themselves and this predatory society needs to stop trying to normalise its bad behaviours onto us.
Your entire post is a hodge podge of conjecture and theory. Hookup culture was created by vvomen for vvomen. That's why they fought for sxual revolution, so that they can have the freedom to bang every chad on the lacrosse team, without facing any judgement. Go do some reading. Small correction: your girlfriends are more than happy to stay in crappy Tinder situations because they want to continue sleeping with good looking men. Even if they pop out kids, they know they will always find some beta to take care of her and her kids. You vvomen are all the same lol.
It weirds me out how many people treat sex like it's some sort of requirement in life. It's optional. You can go your whole life without sleeping with someone. If you come across "the one," good, I'm happy for you, pursue and develop that relationship to the max. The thing about relationships is that they are as strong or as fickle as the people involved in them, so please don't make your relationships the greatest good in your life, it will only disappoint you. Find your greatest good in something bigger than yourself that will remain constant in good times and in bad.
sex isn't optional if you want to have your needs met, which I imagine most people do. And it goes beyond the physiological, it's also about intimacy, love and belonging which are even higher needs. Having fulfilling relationships is a huge part of having a satisfying life, stop trying to pretend that it's not.
@@selfinexile I agree that having deep, meaningful relationships with others is essential to a good life, but sex is not an essential component of those relationships. Look at Buddhist and Christian monks/nuns, they're some of the healthiest, happiest, and most fulfilled men and women on the planet, and they're all sworn to poverty, celibacy, and obedience in the name of something greater than themselves. They have deep relationships with their brothers/sisters and surrounding communities, but those relationships are all second to something more, something that was here long before they were, and will be here long after they're gone.
@@FourEyedFrenchman biologically you need sex not want but Need and you have to fulfil them or the consequences could be self sabotaging.. I know you are just a kid and probably don't even know the importance of sex so I will leave you here
I'm so relieved that people are talking about this. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person who actively wants a fulfilling relationship. My ex also convinced me that I was weird for my sexuality and expectations from a relationship
Nothing weird about it. I agree with you on wanting a fulfilling relationship. I had a guy friend in college laugh at me when I said I wanted to save sexual activity for marriage.
@@kellyfrancis8999 Same. He told me I was living in a fairy tail waiting for my Prince Charming… I stopped hanging out with him because why should I compromise on my values? If a guy respects me he’ll have no problem waiting either. Otherwise, he’s not the guy for me.
I’m 22, still a virgin and never had a real girlfriend. It’s not fun to be alone when you’re in your prime. The only motivation I have for anything like self improvement is for myself, and it’s really hard to improve yourself when you see no benefit from it. Right now, I’m driving my dream car, working retail to pay for it and living in an apartment connected to my parent’s house. This comment will probably be cringey to read but, I’ve felt loneliness for long enough that it kind of feels nice, it’s familiar and comfortable, even if it is a negative feeling. It’s odd how the human psyche can start to find bad feelings to be feelings that feel good due to being familiar with them. I have a lot of need for more self improvement but at this point I’ve accepted my situation and am doing my best while in it. Great video, you broke it down very well! Update: Now I am going to gym 5 days a week, I’ve lost nearly 20lbs and am feeling much better about my current physical state than I did even a month ago. I’ve found motivation in improving myself for myself and am all the happier because of it. To anyone out there that is struggling, just jump into self improvement, you won’t regret it. Update 2: Lost 45lbs now and gotten stronger!
@MuseTheReaper that's a terrible mindset to have. Hit the gym, improve your credit, sort your finances, improve your quality of life for yourself first. Women being attracted to you are by product of that personal growth. Are you really happy to live like this ? Do you want die leaving no impact or legacy ? Nobody is born a parent you'll have as you go and get support from your parents if you can. The journey from average Joe to exceptional 1-10 percenter is no easy task and requires consistent effort, self sacrifice, and discipline.
I felt similar to you when I was your age. If I can encourage you, I turn 36 in 2 weeks and I’m married to an amazing woman. Looking back to 22 I was nowhere near my peak in anyway that you measure it. I work a job I love now. It can be difficult but I do love it. Physically I can outrun and out lift 22 year old me and I can do both of those things longer than 22 year old me. Best of all I have a better mindset and more wisdom than 22 year old me. The good news for you is that I didn’t even really start to make changes to my life until I was 24 and it wasn’t until I was 28 (close to 29) before I made the biggest set of changes that really sped up my growth. So at your age in you position you could progress further than me and quicker and you have room to fail and still be at a good pace. I don’t know you but I’m sure you have a lot to offer the world. It just takes time. Hope this was encouraging for you.
As a guy that’s look at a lot of manosphere/redpill content, I think this is probably one of the greatest analyses of the modern dating/relationship situation. I’m glad there are people out here that can actually observe and see what’s truly going on. It’s better that we have man AND women paying attention and are willing to point out flaws on both sides. All we have to do now is find a solution to the issue but identify the problem is the first step.
The solution is entirely personal. Because it doesn’t matter what everyone else is doing, what do you want to do? Ask yourself: which will I regret more when I’m 90? Getting married and being with just one person for the rest of your life? Or not getting married, and dying alone?
As a woman who has browsed red pill & manosphere content, I agree. It's absolutely frustrating to have the "all women are sloots" & "only want this, that & the other" constantly projected. & That's ALL they seem to talk about in the RP circles is complaining about "all women are...". The very rare times I'm approached, guys expect me to be "easy" & get unreasonably pissed when I'm not. The last one started stalking me & started local rumors because I wasn't having it. They don't even treat me like I'm a person, but more like a thing to fulfill their own expectations. For years, I've heard guys say they don't want someone who's been passed around... & yet, that's exactly the types they chase while immediately dismissing the ones who want or can offer more than that. It's very circular... you get what you feed into. Guys also claim they want women to do the initiating. Yet in my experience, that's the fastest way to be put into the "desperate" or "easy" category & end up manipulated or treated like garbage. It completely defeats the purpose of being confident enough to initiate & willing to build a connection with someone of the opposite s3x. I've been single & celibate for almost 5 yrs now, never been on a real "get to know you" date because all my previous reltionships started through friend groups, no one asks & no one wants to put forth any effort these days. I won't even touch dating apps either because all I hear (aside from the rare 1% "met my husband on tinder") is how much of a cesspool it's all become.
It makes me feel better to see someone finally bring this up. Bc I’m extremely traditional in relationships but I can’t find anyone who is like me. So it’s hard.
As a man I often felt like I had to participate in hookup culture just to be considered worthy of the wholesome loving relationship that I actually wanted. I would hear so often these words "women want men that other women want." And I felt that if I was every going to meet my future wife, I would need to become a player first. Now I know that nothing about that makes any sense and that the kind of woman I actually wanted for a wife wouldn't be attracted to the kind of guy I was pretending to be.
Facts, I hate that narrative. I have straight up rejected men I was attracted to bc they had a high body count. It is repulsive and disgusting. I think most valuable woman would think so as well. Stay strong for a good woman!
It's not "Women want men that other women want." but more like "Women want men that other woman also happen to want." Which basically means men who posses qualities often desired by women. Women who want men that other women want sounds like they specifically trying to seduce husbands or boyfriends.
@@excalibro8365 That is how it actually is, because society also pressures RUTHLESSLY women to perform, which is much harder because we don't get taken seriously.
Yes, save yourself until marriage doesn't matter if you have had a "manwhore" phase.. I started liking my now husband because he was different.. he was living in abstinence and not fuckibg women... other women started to see him as desirable as well because he is confident and not player and they knew he would be good father and loyal man, which he is..
I'm a highschool gal who has already planned to practice abstinence until I'm married (for religious reasons as well). I've made my rounds around the manosphere and let me just say how refreshing it is to hear such a smart young lady talk about things that (really most of my generation) needs to hear. I've been told that I'm wise beyond my years, but most of this really just feels like common sense. I'm currently struggling with my weight as well so seeing these videos is actually a bit of motivation since ik what guys would tend to find attractive. Personally I feel like most of the boxes check out except my weight. But that can always be fixed. I digress, you are absolutely wonderful and I'm looking forwards to seeing more videos from you! God bless!
all i can say is validation is powerful drug. when all the attention come in, most people will change. but stay strong. the man you want wont come with whole package but if you stay with him during his build up stage he will stay.
Don't do that. It is so stupid. There is no problem you having seggs with your boyfriend. Problem is constantly hooking up. There is no shame and anything wrong with having seggs with your boyfriend. Why you should not do that? There is high chance you and your husband is going to be seggsually incompatable leading to a divorce. There are man regreting marring a virgin for these reasons. All of that could be solved if you just had seggs 2-3 times before marriage. It is a disaster for marriage if you dont match each other.
As a man this was really refreshing to hear! All these guys telling women to "go get some cats", "you're gonna die alone", while men lead in suicide is just ... bonkers to me. Life is so much better ... with someone you connect with. But rolling the dice to find that person or those ppl can be really draining. Aww well, all the best!
@@Atlasosa ever heard the expression, "Love is a gamble"? Well ppl have been saying it ... for years. Long long before the internet existed ppl were saying it. So that means ppl were saying it even when men/women had "traditional" roles too. Taking that leap, that big step, that roll of the dice, to share yourself & your life with someone else doesn't come with any guarantees. It didn't back then & it sure as hell doesn't now. All you can do is try to minimize your risks by learning what red flags to look for & being the best version of yourself & learn as you go. Ignore these guys that make every damn thing into a simp & a loser & you should've known better. They'll always have something to say & its rarely ever constructive. You probably don't remember this but, you learned how to walk by learning how not to fall. You didn't come here already prepared knowing everything. Life & love is the same way! Sometimes you learn what to do by learning what not to do. But the negative types will always make you feel like the effort isn't worth it. You got one life to live, so live it as only you can. Good luck & all the best, whatever YOU decide.
Thank you for this video. As a single 32 year old who never had any luck with dating apps, you shining some light on my pain, and the pain of the average man is so important.
Hope it gets better for you. Focus on yourself and try not to despair. Where I live most men marry when they're in their older years and it's generally common other places as well, so don't worry
It’s depressing when you’re a single male in you’re 20s and seeing everyone in your friend group go on dates/ meet girls.. I know it’s cause I’m kind of introverted but it still hurts to know I’m missing out on what could possibly be the best years of my life. Seems like you have to be a player to even get a shot these days, anything less is not worth girls’ time.
i feel this a lot for sure man, i’m 19 and seeing what looks like everybody else being involved in these social circles and doing all this naturally makes it hard for those who find it difficult to get in the scene and connect and relate to other people for whatever personal reasons. like even at my age it feels almost impossible to ever find that real connection or even be involved in the dating scene going forward. like there’s a constant overbearing expectation that’s hard to fulfill and live up to
Your teen and 20s aren't always the best years for a male. Alot of men hit there primes in there 30s, hell if you take care of yourself you can extend that into there 40s and 50s. That's around the age you should be at the peaks of your careers. Don't feel like your missing out cuz your not getting laid in your 20s. Some guys it just takes longer
I never understood the concept of sleeping around with a multitude of people, it really desensetizes people from meaningful bonds and relationships. Makes it easier to see potentially good partners as disposal anytime the novelty wears off. So glad people are opening their eyes to the downside of the hook-up culture.
Especially when you know the potential consequences of a one night stand. STDs and pregnancies being severe examples. We live in a culture that promotes casual sex, pornography and indulgence. Making it hard to make the next generation start thinking healthier when it comes to dating.
There's no greater feeling than waking up next to someone in the morning that loves you as much as you like them. Ive always preferred a steady relationship even during college I didn't like sleeping around and wanted a steady relationship but most of the girls there just wanted quick hookups. Also don't mean to be that guy lol but you're very beautiful makes me happy to see people like you speaking out against hookup culture.
@@tracyvo3 yeah no problem is there any particular advice you'd like or a specific question? If by falling deep in hook up culture mess you mean you're surrounded by people that just want to sleep around I'd recommend meeting someone at a place that you wouldn't normally go to looking for a date or relationship. Coffee shops, book clubs and stores, hell I met my wife in a Facebook meme group lol. Even though she lived in American Samoa and I was in Colorado we made it work.
As a girl, I enjoy waking up alone and having all the space in my bed, I can watch my laptop or phone without waking someone up, I love waking up knowing I'm free from any responsibility 😊... No better feeling than freedom..
@@kazania7653 that's a pretty grim outlook if you see a relationship as losing your freedom. I feel just as free now as I did when I was single except now I have someone to share my life with.
I just finishing reading the book The Case against The Sexual Revolution (highly recommend) and it discusses hook up culture's negative effects on women which is perfectly valid and necessary to discuss but I wish more people talked about its effect on men. Great video!
The emotionally unavailable men who relish in casual hook ups to avoid doing their inner work don't want the information out there. The "bad boy" image has been glorified for years and they don't want to be dethroned because it will force them to do their inner work and become a man of integrity. Any one who participates in that lifestyle is running from themselves. Period.
@@mybrownsparklez People only feel the need to change when they aren't getting the results they want out of life. The majority of men who benefit from hookup culture are getting exactly what they want, so they have zero incentives to change.
@@mybrownsparklez Most of the guys who you hear putting in work to better themselves are the guys who aren't getting attention from women. As for my bachelor friends who play the field. They're not really lonely per se. They have plenty of options. They just don't like their options. They don't trust women given the divorce stats and their careers make it so they have a lot to lose.
I'm a 29 year old straight male virgin, and been told my looks are just fine - but I find myself just so uninterested in sex and partners because of soooo much media and drama and odd discussions about how things should-and-shouldn't-be that I've found just focusing on myself and spending my money on me and my friends and forming close bonds with a couple close friends has seemingly paid off way more than this 'constant need for a girlfriend'. That or I'm aro-ace. I've not figured it out.
It may be because I’m a very sensitive and self aware person, but I’ll never understand how people can go through life this way, having pointless flings one after the other.
I think it’s very important to realize nobody thinks the same in each moment but in the end we will see everyone will agree with you when they are past the age of 25! They never admit it tho until that moment comes
I'm happy I'm not the only one in their youth that thinks Hookup Culture isn't it. I never understood the "empowering" aspect either like it's literally just casual sex - even to us guys it's not that deep and we find it odd but I digress lol
It's actually just communist propaganda preying on the weak minded aka feminists. The idea is that you have a class hierarchy such as family or basic economic principles and simply because women tend to have an inferior role to men, that it must be because they are oppressed, so they must have a Marxist revolution to overthrow to bourgeoise aka the patriarchy. It's literally communism created to destroy the US. It's not even a secret.
I agree and I’m so glad to see others who are younger too that think this way. Usually if we Voice our opinions we can get canceled for just expressing an opinion, which is sadly how it is now on certain platforms, but I’m glad to see channels like this where we can express our opinions and not get bashed for it.
so you re not a man? i mean as a man, its great to be able to catch alot of fish. thats what it is to be a man. obviously you dont have what it takes. im not saying you should g out there and fuck em all. im saying as a man thats part of your dna. you a lil feminised buddy.
This really struck a cord with me even though the situation I've been dealing with is actually kind of backwards. My ex-girlfriend was part of hook-up culture, she had many flings before me, where I was a much more reserved man seeking a deep connection. It bothered me a little bit, but I didn't let it stand in the way of building my understanding an relationship with her deeper self. At first she was surprised at my attitude but, she also felt that a deeper connection is what she really wanted as well. But as the relationship went on, I noticed she was having a hard time communicating her feelings and emotions to me. I could tell that something was wrong and she immediately go for the explanation of "you wouldn't like the real me". I would follow up by asking what she thought the real her was but she would never really give me an answer. After a while, the communication became weaker and in the end I, the man, ended up feeling like I was being used for sex (Ironic I know) and the relationship fell apart shortly afterwards. Tying this story back to the video, I think that hook-up culture not only causes us to delay building those real, deep relationships but it also hurts our ability to build and be successful in those relationships. Of course there are confounding factors to this story, but I definitely feel this is a contributing factor to her personal barriers. I genuinely believe she is seeking something deeper in a relationship, even if she doesn't know how, and I still hope she finds the partner that will bring out the best in her even if it isn't me. I hope this perspective is useful and helps someone. These topics can be difficult, but only through understanding and empathy can we build a better future.
So basically you got played by a girl who was a thot? Got it. Next time dont cuff a girl with any trauma or sexual past because those werent mistakes she made.
Thanks, just to build off that: I don't know to what extent the internet has impacted our ability to communicate but if 90% of communication is nonverbal, then I'm convinced we as a culture are losing something in the post twitter world. I had a similar situation with a friend. Luckily I was able to tell my friend that "it's all the real you. All of it. The you that I know and like is just as you as the you I don't know yet. And the fake me that I put out there is still an extension of the real me. We all got layers (mostly for protection). There's stuff about me you don't know yet that might make you leave but...it would be dumb for me to leave because I don't want you to know something that would've made you leave once you found out anyway. So I do like the real you, at least enough of it, to put up with rest of you. And so far I think you feel the same about me. There's already things about each other we're not a huge fan of that we talk about some of them make us laugh others not so much. Look, it's hard enough to find someone you know and trust well enough that you want to admit that there's more to your story. But there's always more to everyone's story. No matter how dramatic the twist it's still a part of the story I've been enjoying all along" Luckily my friend was able to hear that. And our vulnerability, trust, and friendship continues to grow between us
This was a sobering message. Not that I am the kind of guy who participates in hookup culture even if I wanted to, I just hope this message gets out to those who need it, as fast as possible.
I agree. Ive been hooking up with random women for 10 years now using mostly Tinder and I feel empty inside, miserable and more lonely than ever. Casual sex is a trap, the chase feels good yes but afterwards you feel a void in your soul and kinda depressed. If feel like you soul is lost in the process and its pretty hard to quit to cause you became desensitized. Datings app are a trap srs. PS: Trust me, after a while you dont even remember the faces.
I agree 1000% percent. During my early 20s this culture almost destroyed me. It's difficult to love a girl when the body of other women is in your mind. The way to heal is to not enter a relationship until you learn the 5 love languages and detox from all the imagery and memories of hooking up. It's a very difficult and painful healing process but it's possible. PLEASE do not listen to those redpill guys who say men can have casual sex, all of those men will have to deal with emotional pain and psychosis. A man is supposed to protect his partner not destroy her by given her pleasure and then leaving her. This act leads to great shame.
@@Lerbrandt understanding the consequences of promiscuous behavior is seen as strange for those who haven't yet experienced the consequences. It harms the deepest parts of the human psyche.
Well put - I think some aspects of red pill theory do have merit, but for the most part I would agree with you. Also the way a lot of the red pill community treat or speak about women is absolutely disgusting.
You just haven't overcome your masculine guilt yet. You are still in the letting people bully you phase. Have sex with who you want, openly and without guilt. You can cheat on her. She can't cheat on you. There's a biological reason for this. You've just been gas lit into believing a lie.
No, there is a tradeoff. Naturally men would give her a child and then run and do it again and not give her anything afterwards, but that way of living doesn't satisfy emotional needs, so they may end up lonelier. That natural way of living doesn't lead to happy ending, but if you aren't promiscuous men deny their nature. So a lot of men try to subvert this by being promiscuous while young and then marrying when older. The Gs so to speak can get away with it.
If you had a podcast I would 100% listen to it and I know many other people would too. Your voice is really calming and you’re very eloquent, you also give so much good insight into controversial topics and things that society has just accepted as okay.
I'm a guy and I've never participated in hook up culture. I spent my 20's and 30's being either ignored by women or told I was too nice to date. I'm about to hit 40 and in 20 years had one girl friend. The last time I was on a date was near 20 years ago. Despite not participating I've still found myself in the same place as all the people who did. The innocent are getting caught in the gears just like the guilty. Women are the only ones that can change things. I'm afraid its too late for me and other men of my age like me, but I can hope and pray there is hope for the younger ones.
Holy shit the amount of broken people generated in this mess unbelievable.... I am 26 and still hopeful but I don't feel as good as when I was 23, hopefully enough people finally start to wake up and try to find each other in other ways than these apps. Really these apps destroy society, I never saw it that radical, but the more I see the more I think it's one of our core problems in society which brings a lot of other issues as baggage aswell. Declining families, declining birthrate and because of this more old people and less young people to pay taxes and this leads to more people being poor etc. It's like this brings so much issues into the society its insane when you think about it. It should be banned from the governments or something like that, this is existential threat to a society.
Having been with around 15 women by the age of 26, this is 100% true. It’s taken me a while to undo the damage from rewiring my brain to not crave hooking up with new girls. I’ve realized the apps are designed the make you lonelier, and capitalize on that. And realized I need to become the man that my future wife wants me to be. I’ve definitely gained a lot of confidence with women as a result, and a lot of sexual experience to where it doesn’t intimidate me anymore, so there are positives, but there comes a point where you realize your time is running out and you need to grow up. That being said, I’ve tried creating monogamous relationships with many girls on these apps, and I’ve never cheated or talked to more than one girl at once, but many of them are used to this culture too and it’s trash.
Time is running out? LOL a man's Prime does not start until ang 30 if he put in the work beforehand. I was watching a recent video on Filipina pea and a man had a 34 year dating gap.
I'm in the same position as you (same age too!), and I feel the same. We're used to hooking up and cannot build one relationship. And it feels like everyone has too many options with the apps so you can be ditched in any moment. But I agree with No Internet, we do have 10 more years becoming more attractive to women as we reach our prime. Tends to be correlated with money but hey that's the way it is!
I’m 30, single, never married, never participated in hookup culture, prioritized a career of changing the world for the better and have finally settled down career-wise. I’ve been for quite some time looking for someone who also cares about making the world a better place with me but have found it to be incredibly difficult to find and obtain love with someone like that due to a lot of what you said.
I believe this. Both the women and men are bitter and hurt, screaming on clubhouse all day about how bad the other gender is etc. And the ones that aren’t in hookup culture can be bitter too. Thankgod I was halfway smart and decided at 19 I wasn’t a hookup kinda girl at all. Once I found a man I held on for dearlife. It’s been rough, we both have baggage but we both KNOW we ain’t shit without eachother 😩😂😂😂
Honestly, I don't care. They chose to sleep around, have unrealistic expectations, etc. They could have said no to sex but they didn't. This is why God says to not commit unruly fornication. It causes misery.
@@opticalraven1935 God also said not to be arrogant or announce your good deeds with trumpets yet we still see a lot of Christians ignoring those verses when they go on to brag about how "pure" they are to others in an overly self-righteous attitude. That also causes misery
after being in a toxic relationship trying to make it work, i now find solace in being single. i'd much rather stay single the rest of my life than be with someone who doesnt respect me or love me for who i am and not try to make me into something im not.
@@alphahuntz2924 don't want to be single or don't want to settle? I was single up until 25 and was with the same person 2 years and we broke up this year.
As a 28y woman who hasn’t had a serious relationship ever, I don’t even know how to approach dating nowadays, I do feel like my time is running out for certain things I would like to do, but oh well, I’m okay with the plan b which is being a happy cat lady, I’ve accepted that true love isn’t meant for everyone
There's probably average men that 'love' you, it's just that you don't find them attractive. You keeping expecting the top 10% of guys that are out of your reach to love you.
@@joseph3036 well, how can they love me if they don’t know me? I’m not interested in men that look at me as some decoration. I also have to actually like the person, I’d rather be alone than with someone that I don’t like just for the sake of them loving me. I actually want to love as well, no men has made me fall in love with them, there’s just not enough character, I’ve met plenty of good looking or average looking men that are DRY, they don’t have anything to talk about, no hobbies or passions, no desire to experience anything new, no interest in barely anything, no humor, not enough confidence. The only thing I really like in men is confidence (not cockiness) and it’s not easy to find, everyone is always trying to prove a point, and most men put simply too much importance on sex, when in the long run what you better have is good communication. Everything else can be talked about, but most men are emotionally unavailable which puts me off tbh, but anyway that’s my opinion. Probably shouldn’t have replied to you, but I wanted to let men know that they gotta take care of themselves internally (as in emotionally) for me to even consider them… literally bare minimum for any regular person but men don’t feel like they have to do that work and idk why
I am 46 and still a vìrgin and never had a girlfriend. Girls never wanted me when I was younger and now most women my age are full of baggage. I am trying to go for younger women in the 26-35 age group now. I am even open to dating a 21-23 year old woman but I don't know whether she would want a 46 year old man so maybe I can go for a 26 or 27 year old woman as she would still be young and matured at the same time.
@@lostecho5318 visit a prostitute. saves you time and money believe it or not. 50 bucks for a prostitute or 100 bucks for a date with a broad with baggage that def aint givin up that coochie to you. your call. if i were you i d go to a prostitute, pay her and get it over with.
You’ve hit the nail on the head multiple times. As one of the 85%, I am just as scared for being alone forever, like the man in the story, but by no fault of my own. I am still very young (22) and have never been liked by a girl, and I fear I’ll never be loved. I don’t even care for the hookup culture and do want to try and settle down asap, but it’s just so hard when no one wants me. However, unlike the loudest people online (and in person), I prefer not to hate people but rather the culture. Which is why I clicked right away when I saw your video. If our generation didn’t prioritize sex and gave every man and woman a chance regardless of their looks and social status, we’d see a lot more people who want to settle down and live experiences with that special someone. Edit: seeing a lot of people say “get a job/focus on career”, I’ve been doing it for the last 6 years and it has led me to a top tech job
I'm in my 40s and have never used a dating app. I'm in a long term relationship with a younger woman. I can remember a time before the apps were normalised in society. They are not helping us. People are not products to be selected or rejected based on an algorithm. I hate the distance between men and women now, I don't think anyone is happier in the west. We have everything at a touch of a button and are all the more miserable for it. Human connection is being replaced by choice as dictated by tech companies. Loneliness is crushing people, but because of the more for less convenience culture we're leaning harder into it in the hope that the drug relieves the pain, not cure us. I can't stand hookup culture. I think men and women are both responsible for it, and can only fix it if we reject it, but it's going to be hard. Nothing is better than romance, and taking a risk on someone for love. Your channel is great, only a matter of time before you blow up so keep going and speaking freely.
Yeah man I agree . . I am about to turn 40 and honestly dating apps were an overall weird experience (as one of the 85% men) . . . there was ofcourse the very little interest . . however the few that did show interest wanted something so specific (both racially, physically and financially) that I was just put off. Thankfully I was a bit older than the average guy and my life experience helped me navigate through the psychological minefield of bachelor life . . . I did meet my now wife on Tinder which I count as a blessing. I think the main problem with dating apps and hook up culture is that both women and men have started to view each other as commodities rather than people, and that is going to have a very damaging effect on the ability to build long term relationships.
@@adriangallyot4193 very true. I think for the majority of men there's nothing but cruelty on those apps, for women just crushing disappointment. I'm glad to hear you made it out and are married. I can't imagine what it must be like to be born directly into that dating culture but in my heart I know it isn't good. Sex for me is not without consequence, I don't think we should give it away so cheaply.
obviously its bad for men lmao. Most men don't get many women. It's hard for men to have options. This cultures makes everything worse, especially for men sho don't want hoes. Religion and Islam are the only things speaking about this
The increase in loneliness and sexless guys have much more to do with dating apps and social media. By the way I do not want to ban these sites, I just want people at least to moderate themselves when they are on the sites ( or some people quit using these sites if they choose to ). Not to mention these people also need to know the difference between the reality of life and the glamorize rich lives of Internet figures that most people are not going to live that particular life. The casual hookup scene has always been a thing ever since the sexual revolution started in the early 60s, and we've been only seeing this rise of lonely sexless men since the rise of social media around the year 2010. So like I said before at least moderate yourselves when using social media with also knowing the difference between the reality of life within the average person and the glamorized rich lives of Internet figures. After that you'll most likely be fine.
The saddest thing is that most men would probably prefer to have a meaningful monogamous connection with a woman, but most women don't believe they do and most men don't believe women do either. The worst people in are society are currently the most vocal and the most visible right now, and it's making such a huge number of people feel so hopeless. I know so many women who struggle while dating cause they are waiting for marriage. And I also know so many men who believe women are all sluts or "reformed" sluts who would never be faithful. I myself am waiting for marriage, and my main problem is my introverted personality. I struggle in social settings and putting myself out there. That's basically the reason I'm single. But the older I get, the more men assume I'm just your average slut. They try to date me, but then realize I'm actually wanting to build a gradual connection with them and am not going to be intimate with them immediately. And that's generally when they lose interest. From my perspective at least, most guys seem to go for the socially skilled and extroverted type women. And all of those types of women are either married very young or they are indeed participants in hookup culture. So it's no wonder that, later in life, men think all the single women are sleeping around. Cause yes, pretty much all the extroverted ones are doing that. And the introverted women aren't easy to find or notice.
@@mrdouche9172 True. But the extroverted girls are the ones who tend to go out more and are generally more visible. Know many attractive introverts who will often get asked out if they ever leave their house, but they just rarely do. So, six of one and half dozen of the other.
Idk about the men would prefer to have monogamy thing. Im in a situation with this guy rn. He really likes me. I can tell and he puts in a lot of effort. He asked me to gf but problem is all his previous gfs let him sleep around with multiple women and I’m not ok with that. Now he’s getting cold feet.
obviously its bad for men lmao. Most men don't get many women. It's hard for men to have options. This cultures makes everything worse, especially for men sho don't want hoes. Religion and Islam are the only things speaking about this
you're right, BUT the issue is that introverted women could easily find someone. I don't know how old you are, but if you have decades to find someone, and you're a woman, who has it very easy to be attractive, as women easily are.... its kinda your fault. Women can easily be sought out on social media, anywhere. But I do agree with you, introverted women might have it a little harder, but for introverted men its damn near over. I also disagree with you in that many men are beta simps who don't mind or care about body counts. MOST men probably. They marry women who cant pair bond, the divorce rate is sky high. If a dude says he wants a low body count he's demonized. Theres many men who would overlook it, but women are realizing that being modest and those simp men are bad for them. The feminist movement confused everyone.
I have been waiting for so long to hear women talk about these issues. There is a lot I am trying to unlearn and heal from as a 25 year old man and all of these women content creators coming around talking about these things is saving my life please keep making videos like this!!
I also really enjoy that women are talking about these things more because, as a woman, they’re opening my eyes to a lot of things that men struggle with. We’re all struggling in one way or another. Discussions like these are what’s made me realize that empathy is very important when trying to understand people who aren’t like me. Being raised in a culture full of extremely contrasting points of view, empathy helps you see the nuance in things.
They are not on your side. Don't be so easily fooled. These are used-up women that have long since parted with their best wanting guys like you to be content with having sloppy seconds. Have some self-respect and just say no.
I've been reading a good amount of romance novels this past year. It's been quite eye opening to see different perspectives of women and what they fantasize for in relationships. It got me thinking about how I can be a better boyfriend when I start dating again.
You shouldn’t rely on romance novels for real world expectations. And for the love of God, I hope you weren’t ready 50 Shades of Gray Thai king that’s what the average woman wants 🤣
@@daebak_hanaRomances are a spectrum. Some are terrific and well-written with healthy relationship dynamics; others are...50 Shades of Grey. Just get lots of variety. It will help you separate the wheat from the chaff.
From an outside “old person” perspective, hookup culture looks like a very appealing machine that churns out cynical people with lots of regrets. I also think that “the good old days”, when marriage was a strong institution, the wedlock machine was not much different. Many married couples were incredibly unhappy, But at least back then kids had two unhappy parents at worst instead of one absent neglectful mother and a series of stand in males rotating in and out their life
@@redditor7548 not sure if the patriarchy is the answer. I would say , it would help to build strong families but first of all need to abolish family courts and broken law when it's the first step to tear families apart.
Really appreciate you for providing such good insight and also raising more awareness about the detrimental effects of hook-up culture on us men. I'd also like to add, that with the sexual revolution society has indeed perpetuated the idea of "Sex, sex, sex, and more sex". Almost all forms of media is bombarded with images of attractive and highly desirable men and women. And this affects us subconsciously. Without us knowing we are greatly motivated to take courses of action that will lead to more sex. Men study game, workout in the gym, increase their confidence and charisma, and work incredibly hard to create a name for himself and be wealthy and successful. If you ask a man why he goes through all this most likely he'll tell you that one of the main reasons why - is so that he can have sex with as many beautiful women he wants. Now we can say that in a way this is the natural order of things as with evolution, mating and selection, but I don't think that many men have actually stop to think real hard and come to the maddening realization that we have been heavily influenced and conditioned by society to think this way. We men as well as women of today have become hypersexualized. For men it's an ego thing. The privilege and ability to sleep with as many beautiful women as he wants may definitely sound like the dream for many. But after listening to a lot of successful, respectable, and great men who've gone through this it seems that they've one thing to say in common - That the playboy and hookup lifestyle is shallow and empty. And this goes well with the message shared in this video. It only in a way boosts your ego guys. But why would you need that boost if you have more significant things in life going for you? If you take that kind of lifestyle also you're more prone to get some form of STD. You may also accidentally impregnate a random girl and that may cost you, her and your children a life that none of you ever wanted. Bear in mind as well every time you have sex with a random person you are forever imprinting a part of your soul to them and they to you. With all these negatives in consideration why is there still this predominant need for us to have sex with so many people? Because it's alpha? Maybe it's also because that is what society has fed to you your whole life? Personally I think that it would really be great if we could all just slow down and take the time to get to know our partners first. Love is special you know. No matter how cheesy it may sound. Having that genuine and deep bond with someone you truly want to be with will always trump a random midnight booty call with that hot person. These are just my opinion. Thank you for taking the time to read.
You have some good points. So for the men it's just about variety right? It's not about quality over quantity? Just an ego boost. A man will sleep with 100 women, because he can. He's getting sex....but its not necessarily mind blowing sex. That usually can only be achieved with someone he actually cares about. More men need to realize, hook up culture is not a sustainable lifestyle.
i dont really see how hooking up with beautiful women who will kick you to the curb the next morning and sleep with the next guy the next evening is an ego boost. theyre just using men for sex.
I discovered that about myself a long time ago. Once I respected it and consciously decided not to participate, it was much more fulfilling. I need the emotional connection
@Xafovod do you see the internet going away anytime soon? I think not. I’m 28 and I remember when 📱 were strictly cell phones that were used to call someone and to send a text message and that’s it. Now you got phones that can face time people and access the internet at will. If you wanted a gf or bf you actually had to leave your house and approach people in real life and engage in conversation. Nowadays you just hop on tinder or Facebook and Instagram. See the point I’m making here. Shits changed but not in a good way. You would think the internet would be doing everyone a favor but in fact it’s doing the opposite. And it’s not technology or the internet that’s bad. It’s just the people who choose to use it.
@@zootjitsu6767 agreed! The only social media I have and or use is UA-cam and I also stream sometimes on twitch! But I stay away from Tik Tok Instagram Facebook Snapchat etc! And apparently they are thinking about banning Tik Tok in the USA! Why do you guys think that is?! I would suggest everyone please stop using tik tok and just social media altogether if you can help it! The choice is yours!
Being old and alone is incredibly sad and I do not wish this upon anybody. Yes, if you get married and have children, you can still have a bad relationships but there will be somebody. Imagine being old, all your friends are gone, your parents are gone, you have no husband/wife, no children, no grandkids, you are alone. This is what the modern world tells you is what you should strive for. To die alone, forgotten.
a lot of people ended up being alone is because of their personality and character. it doesn't matter even if you never married and have children, if you are actually a lovely and lovebale person you will be surrounded with people. I know some people with dead partner and no children with them (a lot of adult children have their own children and work to do) but they are very active in the community so they are never alone.
As a guy who can’t participate in hookup culture even if I wanted too you’re right I don’t hate the women who have constantly rejected me I hate the culture
I am a woman, and i've felt this for a very long time. Except you have articulated it in such a mature and intellectual way. Way to go, keep up the good work:)
You are AMAZING!!! So glad I never partook in hook up culture, got married at 21 and now I'm in my late 30s and never even once I regretted it or felt like I missed out. Thank you for putting all those reality facts out for the young people to see. Perhaps it will prevent someone from a lifetime of misery and they will be grateful to you for the rest of their life. Honestly, be blessed!!
I agree that hookup culture is harmful but I also think people that are constantly trying to find a relationship won't find happiness either. I believe western culture puts too much emphasis, especially for women, to find a partner and they portray a relationship as the only way to be fulfilled. You can find love, connection and meaning through other relationships as well like friendships and community. You just have to be willing to be open and vulnerable with your friends and to seek out communities that fulfill you (neighbors, volunteering etc).
@@rsiogjtsjiflgtksjfijgsrljhlf true! And I think there’s way of finding intimacy and things you get from romantic relationships in other relationships like friendships
Well said. And I don't agree with this very simplistic top 15% of men thing. I have women friends whose romantic interests are definitely not in that category and they still have trouble.
I’m like a 4.5/5 out of 10 and I met my fiancé and hen I was 17 and I’m 22 now. I can tell you that if you’re gay straight bi whatever genuinely falling in love and spending your life with someone who you never get tired of is an experience unequaled by anything else.
@@212letliveonearth don't be sad if you are still single as you are 19. I am a 21 year old guy so we are very close in age and I never had a girlfriend either. I am sure you are a very beautiful girl and I bet I would have got a crush on you if we were in the same college. Here is one virtual hug for you just to make you smile 🤗.
Never got into the hook up shit, im a relatively attractive dude. Wasn’t looking for any sort of relationship with a female and then out of nowhere shit just started developing naturally with this girl. Nobody forced anything on anyone, shit felt so unreal and happy.
Honestly this is my best piece of advice. I haven't been single since jr high, and I've never looked for a partner. Just live your life true to yourself, be social and meet people with no expectations. Love has a way of just happening, trying to force things never works. It's sad because I've known many people that would make great partners and have trouble getting one, but they just don't get it. Always pushing hard for attention. People get the wrong idea and run, comes off creepy and not genuine
This is a fantastic video, hookups are in my opinion dehumanising for all involved. To have such low self-esteem to be used by another person for one night and tossed aside is horrid
I gave up entirely on women and dating and I've honestly never felt more fulfilled and realized in my entire life. I managed to get the job I always wanted, I'm economically stable, can afford to pursue my hobbies, and spend my free time with my family and friends. The fact that getting away from dating removed such an amount of toxicity from my life, despite me going against my biological imperative to procreate, made me happier, speaks volumes about the state of modern relationships. To me, the problem is not only hook up culture, but the lack of decency and boundaries that our society keep pushing on everybody. Having a lot of sex is seen as a positive thing for both sexes; but to me, there is no intrinsec value in having sex just for the sake of it. Why not just hire a prostitute or a gigolo, then? The meaning of having a partner is reduced to "he is my dealer of sex". That's literally modern relationships in a nutshell.
If you feel truly fulfilled and happy with that then awesome! I was in the same boat and that was when I met my fiancée. Just be open to the fact that you CAN truly have it all and it's not all toxic.
""To me, the problem is not only hook up culture, but the lack of decency and boundaries that our society keep pushing on everybody."" No this is a resone why you maybe dont get a Partner. To give up and complain about everything else that has a bit more succes in those areas. Because it dosent fit your Worldview. "" Having a lot of sex is seen as a positive thing for both sexes; but to me, there is no intrinsec value in having sex just for the sake of it. Why not just hire a prostitute or a gigolo, then? The meaning of having a partner is reduced to "he is my dealer of sex". That's literally modern relationships in a nutshell."" Because being a more Sexual Person is nothing bad. And since some People dont like that, those People would find a Partner or Social Interactions that fits them. "" That's literally modern relationships in a nutshell."" That was always the case. Past generations have had it even worse when it comes to things like stable households or love.
Hookup culture has risen, because we got rid of all consequences. It started way before dating apps where invented: * Contraception => No risk of getting pregnant. * Transportation => Society can't shame you easily, because nobody knows that you hooked up in a pub several miles away. (In german, we had terms like "Dorfschlampe". I believe that "village bicycle" is an English phrase that meant the same.) * Dating apps => Society can't shame you, because nobody knows your private hookup. * Dating apps => You will never run out of option, because now you gained access to a global market.
@@pussydestroyer69285 it is actually part of the inter-generational learning process. It is important to shame people for their bad behavior and also in their best interest (even if they don't see it that way). Just think about all the older women ranting on TikTok. Promiscuity has a dark side. It reduces a women's chance of finding a life partner, since most men don't want such women as wive. Shaming is basically a social feedback mechanic. It tells women that their will be consequences early on. It warns men about the directly affected women. While this is done, other women will realize that they don't want to go the same route.
Are you German if so me too .willst du ein Gespräch haben über die Situation hier in Deutschland , ich glaub nämlich das es hier ziemlich äh ich abläuft wie in den states
A lot of great points and facts you brought up in this video. As a guy, I definitely agree that I much rather have a consistent girl that actually cares than a bunch of randoms that I would only know for a few days/weeks and never talk to again, who never really cared as a result of the culture we’re living in now. You did a good job with this video
The thing about hook-up culture imo from personal experience as a man is it's not the actual sex itself (porn can fulfill that need in a way) but the feeling of being desired or getting a woman to desire you that's intoxicating. There's also a sense of power and control in play too especially when "catching" feelings come into the equation. It's not like I didn't have some feelings for these women or want a relationship. it's more of you're just spoiled for choice and it's easy to become indecisive. Sometimes I miss the times I had that were like this, but it's a losing game because the women eventually find someone or leave on their own and I'm left all alone. I blame media and society for encouraging this behavior. Men are taught to believe that their self-worth comes from sleeping with as many women as they can rather than striving for achievments.
Why not blame your own lack of self respect? You just admitted that you enjoyed the chase more than anything and now you’re blaming the media for your choices. take accountability. You likely led a lot of women on in the process and you even admit that they inevitably leave you behind bc of your own indecisiveness. Stop blaming everyone else and take accountability for your own inner work that needs to be done and recognize why you feel so compelled to desire being desired.
@@goldenovaries maybe I wasn't being clear enough. What I'm saying is I did all of that, by choice, because of how it made me feel. Even though it in the end I ended up feeling worse about myself. I'm also aware that I chose to lead women on, but wouldn't take responsibility, excusing it as me being friendly. As for society and media, im talking in the vein of men in general rather than myself. It isn't forcing men to make their choices, but they sure do make the idea enticing. To be specific, I'm mostly pointing towards the PUA and RP communities. I think they should bear some responsibility. Imo I don't see any other big communities that encourages confidence and self-growth without using women as a goal. There is MGTOW but that comes from a toxic place of hating women. I think men should look at great men in the past and what drove those men to get a better understanding of themselves. Nowadays I'm not interested in searching for a relationship because I've found own sense of purpose and direction. I'm interested in leaving a legacy behind like those great men before me.
@@Mogo-jan I never thought I will defend mgtow as some parts of a community is toxic sure. I get that some people hates women for their own failures ,I think as a person who takes some of the teaching, ideas and introduces them in my own life I can assure you that the real meaning of it means much more than women , relationship and their validation. It's about self respect, self worth and self validation , finding greater purpose within oneself ,Helping find peace in your own life and don't let anything or anyone to manipulate or distract your mind.
@@fireinthenight9028 I didn't mean to throw the whole MGTOW community under the bus since I agree and follow a lot of their principles. It's more of there's an alarming amount of men who get into it out of pettiness instead of wanting to self-improve. It's not hard to find on youtube. Basically the misogyny part is too significant for me to completely stand by it. If the well-known members promoted self-improvement and not "women ☕" I'd actually be for it. I feel a bit more supportive toward the MRM though, albeit hesitant to join because I'm more interested in my own individuality.
Your explanation explains why men that do hook up culture or get mad at women not giving it up after a date get offended when those women say ‘hire a professional’. Its because, a professional cannot be played with & I’ve come to understand that men will rather play games with unwilling suspects than play fair with someone who is also gaining out of the deal. They want that genuine desire that a professional won’t have. I still think it’s sad to play around with women like that.
A lot of women are angry at this, but you're right lol, I myself have had close friends drag me for bringing up these points to them. The truth will set you free, but first it'll piss you off I guess. None of this is new to me. Keep spreading your truth❤
This is a femceI channel. 75% of divorces are initiated by women and conversely most of the times it's the guy who buys the ring and gets on his knee to propose. Hookup culture is largely created by women.
I'm 31 and the hook up and poly culture, even around my age, is still so bad that I still struggle with the idea that I'm going to end up alone because a wide majority of people still want this whole "I'm not ready for a relationship" or "humans weren't supposed to be monogamous" identity and just finding anyone who wants to be in a long committed relationship is so hard. I'm still young so I'm hopeful but I do be feeling that biological clock ticking and I'm scared that this mindset has already bled too far out to be repaired
This "humans were not supposed to be monogamous" thing is bullshit. No other species has the complex relationship dynamics we have. We don't come programmed one way or the other.
My husband and I met in the midst of hookup culture in 2015. Neither of us ever wanted a part in it and just wanted to date for marriage and luckily found each other. My husband was pulled into it a little bit the few years before we met , he didn’t enjoy it at all. He was just numb, depressed, not thinking, and would just agree to women throwing themselves at him or thinking maybe it would fulfill him for a moment. It just made him more depressed and feel dirty after. I think his friends and others would look at him and think he’s this ladies-man and must be so happy to have girlfriends and get laid but he never even wanted that for himself and just fell into it for a bit. I think many men feel this way and it just doesn’t get talked about. I ended up never participating in it. It never seemed right to me and I didn’t want to be naked with somebody I barely knew . So glad I waited. I don’t think “body count” necessarily matters but it does damage to sleep with someone who doesn’t care about you. I’m glad I didn’t have to experience that
Your husband is painting it incorrectly as women throwing themselves at him as if he was a victim 🤣 you both need to accept he pursued those women also as it takes two to tango. It's normal. You both lived a life before you met one another. What happens after you both met is more important than before
@@hashgnome9326 What happened before is way more important because it decides what happens later. A woman's history is 100% an indicator of her future. If you weren't her first, you won't be her last.
Very very solid video. Quickly becoming one of my favorite commentary channels. Most big channels that talk about these issues get the views they do by trying to be as antagonistic as possible. I love when a channel can take a charitable approach to a serious topic, and I love it when people can make an admission that they may be wrong about a subject. These two forms of humility are rarely portrayed nowadays, and its extremely refreshing to see somebody that isnt propping their ideas up as "the truth," but rather just an open and honest discussion. Very good stuff, keep it up!
Great video. For a while now, I have been thinking to myself that the sexual revolution has popularized dysfunction. A lot of men and women who participate in hook up culture are arguing with, blaming, slandering, and shaming the opposite sex when "it takes 2 to tango".
Being a teenager in the 2000’s seems almost alien by todays standards. I was one of those almost stereotypical male virgins who got torn into by his guy friends who had lost their virginity. Now out of my main circle of teenage friends, I’m the only one settled down with a wife and kids! There is little chance hookups would’ve blessed me with what I have now. I was still a virgin at turning 20. I ended up losing it in a hookup, partly as a way of getting people off my back. Soon after I met the young lady who went on to become my wife. With the ‘embarrassing’ virgin label gone, I was relaxed and didn’t rush her into anything. We were together for 4 months before we got as far as foreplay. Then a further two months went by before she lost her virginity to me. We’ve been together for over 10 years and have two children. I find that being in this situation, knowing that I’m settled with a beautiful family, I go out with a relaxed attitude. It seems to me that when you look as if you’re not interested in women, they find it attractive. I’ve had opportunities to be with other women since getting married, but it is a tempting trap. Although it would’ve been good in the heat of the moment, I know that cheating has the potential to ruin what I have. A long lasting and fulfilling relationship, which can last a lifetime. That seems to be an increasingly rare thing these days
I was a teen in the 2010s, the whole idea of virginity to me is kinda outdated and socially construed. I just noticed you saying "we got as far as foreplay. Then a further two months went by before she lost her virginity to me." Obviously, I'm not in any place to tell others what to do or believe, but I count foreplay as sex too
ngl I'm just very impressed with how well thought out and informed she is while making every point. every point where I would raise an eyebrow or question something it was as though she would respond right after with a better explanation. nothing was dragged out nothing was opinionated just well researched and overall a great watch never watched ya before but I'm definitely going to check out some more now
This was a very interesting take, as I (A man) has never seen the hookup culture as something positive or as something that benefits me. I have no trouble dating, but I've never been interested in casual sex. I've always wanted to find a partner to settle down with, but I believe hookup culture makes this difficult.
The very fact if you're a man you're not interested in casual sex is already something that society believes is weird. Somehow people (especially other men) always think I'm weird for saying I desire love over sex
To reinforce something you said, as you get older you get set in your ways. If you're single and then get in a relationship in your late 40's or 50's, changing your lifestyle completely can be a major challenge. It takes a very strong relationship to overcome that.
As a dude, I've hooked up a couple of times but my most recent one made me feel absolutely miserable. The desire to find who loves you for who you are not just for sex grew on me and that shit hurts lol.
Felt the exact same way after my last one too…..just that hamster wheel of constantly chasing it, and then once you get it you’re like “why did I even do this to begin with.” Never had a real relationship before, but after doing this hookup BS enough times I’d much rather give that a shot than going down the casual route again anytime soon.
I am a 23 year old Christian man waiting for marriage. I am working everyday to improve myself as a man hoping to find my queen one day and I will never give in to any temptations :). Thanks for making this video
I just stumbled across your channel and I'm so grateful for it. A little bit about me: I'm a 25 year old man, and I used to participate in this hookup culture. At the time it was fun, and due to a lot of bullying and ostracism throughout my childhood, it felt liberating. It felt like a middle finger to my past. I was, and still am someone that fits the "15%" but I've been in a committed relationship with a great woman for 3.5 years now. Let me tell you though, there are some scars that just will not go away because of my history. And I had no idea they were there until recently. Monogamy is a great thing, gents. Don't sneer at it. Cherish it.
My brother is black pilled and it’s sad watching this in front of own face. This vid puts everything I needed into words. I just hope that other 85% of men find hope
I’ve tried tinder once when I was single and I realised after few minutes using it that I prefer normal social life… Like, catching someone’s eyes by mistake in a club/pub/party, thinking if they like you back, thinking how to talk to them, if and how to talk to them again or if to just go with the flow and see what happens, having somebody being introduced to you and start talking, to realise you like that person and vice versa, feeling the chemistry in the blood system, flirting, oh gosh, that has been so exiting! Now I’m happily married… And we’ve met randomly, in a park while playing cricket… Life can be so exciting…. These are the real memories of life… Same thing for friendships, my best friendships were born randomly: talking, sometimes even by mistake, not instantly liking each others, etc 😂 but thinking about it, if I was in the past when I was single, I would definitely go out there and just live life like before social media, I think it’s more real and exciting! It feels great to feel real emotions, feeling the moment of life. However I don’t deny that some apps can be useful for people who are really shy or have problems with going out. :)
Online dating is such for people to get external validation now. Women seem to graduate to bumble at 25 now once their looks fade and start pretending they are sophisticated but in reality have no idea how to form a relationship after all the hookups and 1000s of matches going to their head.
Feel sorry for whoever you're married to, to be on this kind of video, talking about those kind of experiences...are you sure you ain't planning on leaving
@@Letizia2810 You called me a 'beach'? I am a human being, not a 'beach', thank you. Okay fine, you go on videos, click and give your opinion. That's all fine. You don't need to prove to anyone that you're with your husband to let them know that you love and are faithful to him, that's between you and him, who cares what some random stranger on the internet thinks about someone they don't even know, right? Well it's a damn shame you cared so much about what I said that you felt the need to mention that you are with your husband who is buying drinks for you as we speak. I will learn not to pay any mind to anyone's criticism, I will explain if I think it could help them and ignore them if it's not going to make anything better. You need to have stronger faith in your love for him and this marriage not to be so easily shaken. You are free to comment on UA-cam videos, people will interpret them in a certain way and it's up to you how you respond, whether right or wrong. So you say that I should try to be more reasonable so that I won't scare women away...you mean to tell me my comment scared you?? Why should you be scared of a harmless comment like that??? The worst thing said in that comment is that I may have it wrong about your marriage and your intention of writing your comment, people makes comments like that all the time on every thread. So did I scare you? Why should I worry about whether I scare women or not if I'm only making an comment which does not cause any intention to harm and why is what I said even considered 'scary' at all? And you don't even know my sexuality, do you not know that I am not straight? So romantic relationships with women are way down the list for me...like right at the very bottom. You got me completely wrong with your reply. Nice one. Goes to show that we still misunderstand each other and make far too many assumptions based on the comments we make. You assumed that I even cared about being with women. I don't. I of course assumed that you may not have been as faithful to your husband...well there is some truth to why I made that comment because of how yours came across, if you didn't feel so insecure about it you wouldn't have even needed to tell me that you were with your husband at this very moment in time...all you had to do was say that what I said was not true, you are faithful and love your husband very much, I would have taken your word for it. You don't have to be with the man 24/7 to prove that you aren't going to cheat on him but even this isn't a guarantee, nobody knows what the future holds...even the most faithful couples and marriages have broken down, even some of the rockiest relationships and marriages with infidelity still manage to stay together. You can't be so quick to judge like you have in your reply to my comment.
I swear traditional dating lasts for a reason. Not many are dating or making connections right and it’s a shame. I want someone sensible for me since I know I deserve someone good. Never in my life took part in that culture and I hope my future partner never will either.
@@codesm96 perhaps they are jsut interest on what’s happening for single people same as me. I’m married to but I’m fascinated by those who aren’t and seeing how the other side copes with single hood lol
I really like your content! Great videos on both the effects of the hook-up culture on men and women. And there' a huge misconception that it's only women that have less options as they grow older, but men face that too, unless they have money. But having options based on money does make one question if the connection is genuine or is it for financial benefit.
obviously its bad for men lmao. Most men don't get many women. It's hard for men to have options. This cultures makes everything worse, especially for men sho don't want hoes. Religion and Islam are the only things speaking about this
Man... I've been tired of hookup culture for years and ended up becoming very depressed because of it. Great vid. I've been trying to find someone to settle down with for 5 years now. Every girl I've met so far is either.. 1.) Looking for a fling to get over their fucc boi ex. 2.) Emotionally unavailable. 3.) Apart of hookup culture and won't admit they are. I've stopped using dating apps altogether. Due to my line of work, it's hard to meet people. I don't even know where I could meet people nor where to begin. Sigh...
She's both right and wrong. Right that hookup culture is hurting us and that there are so many guys paying OnlyFans and the other chicks nowadays, but it's not as cut-and-dried as that. She is still pretending, like others who try to explain the Lonely Male phenomenon, that the lonely male exists more than the lonely female, which is not true. Lonely, single women who are angry and depressed about not being able to find a man are prevalent, and many of these women still feel lonely in their relationship. The difference is that women want to keep the spotlight only on these lonely males because they don't want their loneliness to appear worse than those guys. Reason being that women obsess over being the desired ones who get attention, and enjoy all the talk, ideas, and image of being the gender who can "always get a date" or "always find sex." And they enjoy that men are angry and depressed about it. She also is trying to make it as if hooking up is men's fault and that so many women out there are helplessly giving in to casual sex because it means maybe the guy will eventually love her. Tons of women hook up with guys who are the ones that catch feelings, but she doesn't want a relationship and so they will ghost these guys. I've even known women personally who've admitted that to me. You have just as many females wanting and enjoying hook up life for exactly what it is and nothing more just like the guys. Overall her view is still intelligent in that hook up culture is decadent and has degraded our society, but it's still not entirely balanced in regards to females' willfullness in it.
Honestly I had no expectations coming into this video, it’s amazed me how educated she is on these topics and I’ve been taught something I genuinely didn’t know much about on the mens side of things without speaking with bias. 👍
I have no idea why this popped up in my feed, but I have to say that, as a person who's completely outside hookup culture (I've been in a long term relationship years prior tinder and dating apps in general), this was very interesting and insightful. Well done!
I am a male and I genuinely want a trusting relationship with a kind hearted woman. I have been offered hookups before, but always declined. I have suffered trauma in my past and there's no way I'd put any sexual trust in someone I've just met. It is a shame that people want to sleep around more and more, but I'll hold out hope that someday I can have an old-fashioned relationship.
Same. Remember back then where people would be with the same lover and have 10 kids with the same lover? The society change it because they want people to be that dumb and thanks to tik tok social media that work. Mostly because the people let it happen. My ex of 3 years broke up with me just to find out she hooked up with the same dude we had problems with. That was 8-9 months ago and they still hookup till this day but he never claim her as his girlfriend just for fun.
You're not going to find that with American women anymore. If you want a woman like that you're going to have to find one from Thailand or better Filipino women. They're raised to not have sex before marriage and instilled values of raising a family and treating their man correctly. That is why men from Sweden don't marry Swedish women and marry Thai women now because Swedish women are not marriage material. They're even trying to ban Swedish men from marrying Thai women because the feminists don't like that their men don't want them and can't stand seeing them in a happy marriage while they're alone.
@@smokestrong1000 That’s pretty dumb. Not allow to have freedom into picking your own lover? Yes I agree most American women just follow what their friends say,media says, and Tik tok. I was really hoping trump would actually ban Tik tok because it just ruins young people brains. I’m 17 my ex girlfriend broke off with me and hooked up with another guy quickly. She never thought this way until she met new people new groups.
@@mrbutcracker7510 That's 99 percent of American women or western women. They are not marriage material. If you want a woman that won't leave you or cheat get a woman that's deeply involved in religion and doesn't engage in prematerial sex. They will love you and never leave you. This is why filipino women make great wives is because almost all them won't have sex until marriage. I know ones in their 30s and still haven't even kissed a guy.
In my 20s, I was one of those guys. I am now in my mid-50s, and I am a divorced single dad. I am sure I am now 'paying' for my past transgressions. I have an adult son, and a daughter both are in college, and we have conversations about how the hook-up culture isn't a good thing. There were several times in my life when I could've had a real connection with someone, but I was an idiot!
I admire that you take that accountability and have the discussion with your adult children. Kudos to you sharing your life experience and having these talks with your kids. I think our generations have it even worse because of the social media hook up culture and instant gratification which helps fuel casual no real connection dating app and infidelity with so many options making it so much easier to cheat. Back in the day the older generation courted and met significant others from normal means like friends, family, school, and work.
Correction: Men do release Oxytocin during sex. They just release significantly less than women
You can watch my video on the effects of hook up culture on women here: ua-cam.com/video/fjHjYXQgOkY/v-deo.html
I was just about to write that comment lol
got a sub, love seeing corrections
google says women produce more oxytocin to bond a caring relationship with the newborn, which evolutionary makes sense.
Testosterone plays a role in how fast it flows through the body ! The feeling doesn't last for us men. But it's important to still participate in the bonding and cater to your woman's need (hug/cuddle) when she releases it.
Men release a huge amount of oxytocin when view their newborn baby for the first time after birth
I hate hookup culture. All I want is a wholesome, fulfilling, loving relationship with a woman who feels the same way for me.
Glad to see there are other men like myself that just want a real relationship with a woman
@Turtlebeachboy 47 bro not all girls want to be sex dolls😂
@@succmywood but all girls want to be treated like they are before you get into a relationship with them. They want to feel like you could have anyone and are graceful because you chose her.
@@emrefifty5281 Not necessarily true. Every woman is different.
Haha in the 69th like
The fact that there are young people like you who can look past the false advertising and see the dangers of hook-up culture gives me hope. Keep up the good work
There a lot more of us out here than you think we just keep to ourselves lol
@@lorddj9910 maybe that's the problem...
That’s because of the manosphere not because she has great insight. She’s aware of this as are many women, but unfortunately for most of them they are unable to override their programming. They were programmed to be extreme, it’s not a natural occurrence. The part of the programming that makes it extreme is the fact that they have not only been overloaded with options, but to actively explore all of those options. They have been programmed to attempt to juggle several men simultaneously and that’s what’s causing their dissatisfaction and terrible results. This isn’t going to end because women do not reduce their standards willingly once it become their standard. If they feel forced to do so they will simply just use the guy and a genuine connection will not take place especially when you add on the emotional damage they sustain once that takes place.
This hope that you have is not going to actually materialize into anything because of these reasons.
It's too late. Enjoy the decline.
I'm 20 years old and have been with the love of my life since 19, I know it's early to say that, but I genuinely believe it. I hope many others will get to experience what I am experiencing now, I'm not sure how many but hopefully the pendulum will swing back if we keep showing how great it is.
I'm a gay guy and the hook-up culture is very sad. I am someone who doesn't participate in hook-up culture and I had a friend question me recently, "well how will you find a partner?" and that made me feel really bad. It's almost like I have to give my body first to gain some sort of interest and that is not something I'm willing to do. I don't want to feel like a toy to please just for a possible interest.
I have been single for 6 years now and I really don't see that changing.
I've heard that's it's worse amoung gay men😪 Hedonism is ruining us all.
@@PatienceXina I agree! Thanks for taking the time to read my comment 💙
@@mp6301 that makes a lot of sense, regardless you should put you first and work on yourself because you want to.
@@mp6301 are you male?
My best friend is a gay guy like that too. Don't give up. Anything or anyone worth having is worth waiting for
My sister told me she met on a guy on tinder who said he wouldn’t even consider dating her until he slept with her to make sure they were “sexually compatible.” When she refused, he was surprised and pissed off because he’d never been rejected before. He said that’s why she was still single and always would be and moved on. I myself was told I’d die alone if I never gave a blow job. The pressure put on girls to “put out” in order to be in a relationship is, I think, a reason women continuously enable hookup culture.
If you wetched the video fully, you know that girls hit only 15% of guys, so that's the issue with you and your sister, you swipe right guys who are already extremely spoiled, and you just proved it, I actually am very shocked how spoiled they are, when read "no one ever rejected me". Just explain your sister about that 15%, and about the rest massive amount of normal guys, if you tell this story to them, they won't even believe that there are some guys who talk to girls like that
Facts.
That is SO GROSS. Like, if the the girl says she doesn't want to, just say "ok that's alright". No need to put her down, what a fucking creep.
@@ka-md8ue That's on dating aps. In real life, it is very different.
@@ka-md8ue 90% of guys are rejected based on height alone and the remaining 10% are tall enough guys but unfortunately most of those will still get rejected for minor facial imperfections. Remember a 4/10 women will think she’s a model when she puts on makeup and will criticise you for any imperfections even if your lucky enough to pass the height requirement.
What's horrible is even if you don't participate in hook up culture the chance of dying alone is still high. Especially if you aren't the type of man or woman people tend to date. I know many people who are single, some by choice, some by trauma and many by "default".
And some by choice and they're not lonely.
Count me in the "Trauma" category.
I'm a default lmfao!
Same @wyleecoyotee
Yep. Default sucks.
The reason why depression has skyrocketed is because our culture has reduced all meaning in life to doing whatever is pleasurable in the moment. When you run out of pleasures to be had (or the novelty wears off) and you realize how meaningless your life is, how can you not be miserable?
@1 2 is it wrong though
@1 2 just say you didn’t get it
@@wake5307 "hedonism bad" is quite a common and easy to understand truism. but it lacks any real application to particular factors affecting society. you could apply the same logic to really any era with significant social problems because there's always someone doing things for the pleasure
@@bobbirdsong6825 true. I agree.
@1 2 it’s very general. It’s not entirely wrong but it doesn’t focus on other important causes for depression.
“The reason why most women think men are trash is because they’re all sleeping with the same guys” -most succinct statement I’ve heard
This is actually a lie. Like it literally cannot be true unless you live in a small area.
@@Dunnygirl21 she means they are sleeping with the same “type” of guys, not literally the same exact guys
The reason why men think that all women are gold digging idiots who get plastic surgery done and will cheat on you is because they're all only attracted to the same girls.
Well...history books. I never slept with any of those guys n i know they trash af. Its historical. But hopefully we can have more pro-social men each generation.
The same goes for men who think all women are high maintenance gold diggers whores. What’s the common denominator?
As a 22 year old guy, I find hookup culture very disgusting. I think sex is very overrated and being with a girl who loves you back, compliments, and helps you is much more romantic than sex will ever be. I also don’t really like looking at strange random girls in their birthday suits. If the girl was my lover, I wouldn’t mind but I just think it’s kind of perverted. I’ve talked to a few girls recently and I really enjoyed talking to them. Talking to them was the only reward I’ll ever need. I never had a girlfriend before but I hope someday I will. I would also love to have a family. If a girl told me she wanted to wait till marriage, I wouldn’t mind.
As a woman, the fact that men like you exist gives me hope. Thank you
@@onegirl1289 You’re welcome. Also no sex means no STDs or unwanted pregnancies.
that gives me so much hope men are willing to wait because i’m definitely waiting until marriage- for lots of reasons that aren’t religious.
There's nothing wrong with valuing virginity and saving for true love, but don't buy into these societal messages that there's something perverted about your sexuality as a man either.
Hahahahaha 😂
99% of our generation has fallen into this trap. I wish more people would see the light. Keep up the good work.
sounds like you ain’t a part of the 15% lmaoo
@@asskicka71 insane math
It does not matter for dudes. We are not on the clock like women are.
I never really fallen to this trap, because it’s already hard enough to find a worth in relationships with emotions
@@asskicka71 1%🙂
I have hated hookup culture for so long, I feel like this culture is going to plague many young people into a life of singleness. It is exhausting to have to weed through the people that are deeply set into this culture.
You can tell them apart by how they dress most of the time. I went to a school of 700 boys to a college of 70% women and it baffled me how terrible women were at screening douche bags and frat boys
exactly. both men and women participating in hookup culture are going be single for awhile. they think they need a “ho phase” and it’s sad. you don’t need to go through 10 people to have fun or to know what you do and don’t like.
There was a guy who asked me for pictures and i said no and he said why not there's nothing wrong with that 🤯 and that's when it hit me... They see nothing wrong with it because it's been normalized that women do this send nudes.... When ever they ask... I was like yeah no thank you... Just cuz other women do it doesn't mean i will or have to...
@@amyfonseca1766 are you sure he meant nudes i ask that when i give people contacts photis / when i match on dating apps.. and even then some get offended people catfish and if your confident in your looks it shouldnt matter
@@amyfonseca1766 he didn’t want nudes he wanted to make sure you’re not a humongous whale but posting filtered pics or head shots only. We don’t want your nudes, there’s enough pron out here for that.
What I’ve found is that being single in my 20s was extremely hard initially because I would constantly compare myself with my friends that were getting laid or having relationships. But I later got over it when I started earning well because I realized I had leftover time and money to spend on myself and my hobbies. I joined martial arts, learning guitar, learning to cook and eat well, learning advanced coding (this in turn also helped my career) and playing video games. Eventually I found someone to have a meaningful relationship/marriage (when I turned 31) and I’m glad I spent my time doing all that in the 20s because it helped me develop as a person.
I know that feeling as I am in my 20s now. I am a 21 year old guy and I never had a girlfriend or even my first kiss yet. After getting rejected by 2 girls in my college and no luck with 2 girls whom I knew since my high school days and also no luck on dating apps, finally 6 days ago, a girl matched with me on one of the dating apps and for the first time, I had a decent chat with a girl on dating app without getting ghosted. She is a 19 year old girl and for the past 6 days, the chats were decent enough. We live in the same city but different college and different course too. Do you think this time I will at least get my first kiss? I also get worried thinking what if she ends up ghosting me too or wouldn't want me.
@@manosijroy8282 Work on yourself first like the guy above. As for the girl, relax and take your shot if/when it's right. Humor helps too, for both of you. 😃 Confidence, not aggression, is attractive.
@@manosijroy8282 know about her past b4 doing anything
Past matters a lot now, who knows she's a hoe
MGTOW helped me get crypto.
I think men should get crypto before dating and marriage.
Courts can't touch it.
@@manosijroy8282 hey bro, I hope things went well for you. If not, don’t worry about things like “first kiss” or “virginity”. These will only make you stressed out and affect your life negatively. Enjoy life and try to love yourself first. I know how it feels since I never kissed a girl until I was 26-27. It sucks but you only need to find one right person. It’s better to be with one person that is good for you than to be in twenty different toxic relationships. When you do find that right person, in hindsight you’ll find these insecurities very laughable. Focus on developing yourself and fulfilling your wishes while you are still single because you might not get the time for that once you are married or in a relationship.
I find hook up culture baffling to be honest. Every time we discuss sexual activates with my work mates in my age group (I'm 27 female) they are all shocked that I'm still a virgin. Some look downright insulted too, and I don't get why. They always complain about their hook ups afterwards and how they need to find 'better men'. Then a week later it is rinse and repeat. I've just told them that I don't need to be married to the guy, but I want a loving relationship where we care for each other very much. I don't understand why that isn't still today's standard.
Exactly for me too. Relationships only because I’m not built for a one night 🤷♀️ I also like the idea of meeting someone organically and going from there
@@purpleviolet9046 I did find a nice guy I'm with online and we've been dating for a few months, but I really had to state my intentions of a serious relationship when online dating. The number of guys who just wanted to have sex first thing was crazy to me o.o I guess that's an online dating thing these days sadly :(
@@LaviPuppy you know what you want, that's a good thing don't let anyone pressure you into the culture
Dont worry. Waiting is soo much better. You are protecting your body and soul from a potentially traumatizing first experience with the wrong person.
@@LaviPuppy I know it’s terrible, I like connection but you’ll find somebody.
“The silence of being alone is deafening.” That line hit hard as shit, it’s hella true.
@Trinity M not everyone is like you and wants to have the same life as you. Some people don’t wanna be alone believe it or not a lot of men have aspirations having a family and falling in love
@@r.e.e.2.e Well, good luck to those man in this society lol Marriage is already dropping like a bag of rocks in the ocean of despair, and barely any new marriages will make it past 7 years for a great many reasons. Pandoras box has been open, can't close it back again because the knowledge is out there now, can only destroy the box
@@r.e.e.2.e If they want that they can look into the right places to find the right people. It all comes to the quality of choices. Statistically hook up culture limits the options young adults have. Most look into parties and clubs when they can literally look for partners anywhere else. What ever happened to book dates on the library or walking to a park like come on that’s wholesome and romantic. Be smart and unfortunately many don’t believe in themselves enough to make the correct choices and to stick to it. It’s depressing. I honestly don’t believe most people really benefit enough from hook ups. Most are ordinary lonely people who deep down want real steady connections.
@@bmona7550 yeah that is wholesome and romantic , but even if you wanted to try that nowdays as a young person, it wont happen since this aint like old times and even the thought alone sounds like a trap
@Trinity M Hobbies don't satisfy people's inherent need for erotic love and to nurture their children.
Many of my friends, esp. female friends thought they would be cool with casual hook-ups... They were all actually very unhappy, unfulfilled and empty. And my male friends only enjoyed it when it gave them bragging rights, but the whole relationship, or lack-thereof, made them feel even more alone than before
Well, technically speaking they weren’t completely ‘empty’ 🤷♂️
Tbh bragging about sleeping around only works in short term. Imagine a 50 year old bragging about it. It's really creepy.
Getting laid only really feels good in the moment
Honestly that’s an interesting point because In debate it could be looked at as hookups are just a means of filling up this space by using it as an instant gratification because you look for a temporary solution to a long term problem which you get from casual sex but then after awhile it becomes not enough so you find it elsewhere and then it just continues as this downward spiral so I think a lot of it is ego and infulfilment in themselves which leads to hookups. I think ego and friendships perhaps have a large effect on it too interestingly enough
Bro not to mention the STDS that spread consistently, nobody even talks about it. It’s super common to get STD which ain’t worth it bro
As a guy that was 'lucky' enough to participate in hook up culture, I now regret it . I feel as though all the girls within my age group that I would like to settle down with are already taken , and the ones that are left are bitter because they have been used by the same type of a holes I use to be .
They were used by f-ists.
obviously its bad for men lmao.
Most men don't get many women. It's hard for men to have options. This cultures makes everything worse, especially for men sho don't want hoes
Yea, I also regret participating in hookup culture bc when I finally got with the man I want to marry I'm now all used up and I wish I could have saved it for him.
@@Perry.... what is the matter with you?
@@misshestermofet2288 unfortunately you can't change your past , but you can learn from it , and your definitely not used up lol. Men are pretty simple creatures really, if you want to be treated like a queen treat your man like a king . And don't worry about what that other guy said , half these red pill guys just straight up hate women, but more then half of them would put a ring on the first girl that gives them a chance
when religion says no to hookup culture, people get mad 💀
hook-ups are overrated though i aint religious
Religious purity and honor culture is bad
i don't want religion dictating my life period.
@@juliad368 I'm an atheist and hookup culture is disgusting and will only ruin your life in the long run, just saying.
I'm your 100th like❤
Yeah so this hit hard for me. I’m 21 and I’ve never been in a relationship. Never done any of those things that everyone has seemed to have done in high school with the first kiss, first homecoming, first date, prom, etc. It was the worst feeling ever for awhile. When I got to college, it didn’t get any better. Girls talked to me just because they wanted to hook up and could care less about me which made me really depressed especially once the pandemic hit. I didn’t know who was really there for me anymore or who actually cared about me. I’ve had situationships with flirting and talk back in high school, but it never went anywhere. Then college as I mentioned, when I tried to, it just ended up with the girls playing into hook up culture. I never gave into it. I think the worst experience I had was this girl and I were talking for months. We had class 2 times a week, so we saw each other 2 times a week, and lived in the same dorm building so I occasionally saw her outside of class too. We sat next to each other in class and she would flirt with me all the time. Naturally I did too. Covid hit and campus shut down, so I got her number and we continued to talk. One day she told me she wasn’t into me and knew that I was. That it had nothing to do with me because I was a great guy. She later ended up ghosting me and then 2 months later tried to get me to hook up with her. When I tried asking why after all this time and why she was doing this to me, she told me to stop asking questions and that she’d never speak to me again after. That it was a one time thing and no strings were attached. As I mentioned before, I never gave into the hookup culture. But that experience was really painful for me because I never felt such an intense connection with someone before and to know that all she wanted was to hook up with me for months killed me. I worked on myself and have been happy being single without having any situationships for over 2 years. I feel a lot happier and content in myself, confident in what I want in a partner, can sense the bs in people from initial convos of what they want with me, and most importantly just stay true to myself. I’m a hopeless romantic as well, so that doesn’t help this day and age
You need more girls in ur life not 1 girl. Especially as a romantic you defffffffff need more girls or u get attached too much too soon. I'm not saying screw them.. just talk .. hang out more.i don't get it.. did you have sex or. Na?
@@YasminMahnaz I totally get that but I’m also not the type to be having 6 different girls I’m talking to all at once. I didn’t have sex with that one girl because I wasn’t gonna lose my pride and dignity for sleeping with a girl who used me, ghosted me, and overall didn’t give a fuck about me. I knew it would’ve ate my up had I done it.
🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 whaaat
I am 46 and still a vìrgin and never had a girlfriend so think how I feel. You are only 21 so you have plenty of time and you are young enough to date young women in their early 20s whereas most women my age are either single mom or divorced so they have too much baggage. I am thinking about going for younger women in the 26-35 age group. I am open to dating a 22 or a 23 year old woman too but I have no idea whether they would date a 46 year old man so maybe I can for a 26 or 27 year old woman so she would be young and matured at the same time.
@@lostecho5318 tbh just because women in their 40s are single with kids or divorced doesn’t mean they have “too much baggage.” I knew a girl who was 18 talking to a 40 year old guy because that was his same claim on not dating women closer to his age. I get it, I totally do. You don’t wanna deal with everything that could come with being with a single mom or divorced woman, but hey I mean my parents did it. My dad in his late 30s met my step mom 10+ years ago whereas my mom married, divorced, and then met a better guy who’s 6 years younger than her, and are married now. He has a kid from his ex wife and then of course my mom has kids like me and my sister from my dad, as well as my 2 other siblings from her ex husband. My now step dad didn’t care at all and it didn’t bother him because my mom is a great person. Don’t let that type of stuff discourage you or make you feel like it’ll be too much to take on or handle. If you love someone enough, that shit doesn’t matter. I know I’m young and have plenty of time, so I can only hope I don’t end up in the same position as you. I’m sorry to hear that it’s been that way for you though. Going for girls in their late 20s isn’t a bad idea, but going for early 20s isn’t. I mean if the girls are down then I guess it’s fair game, but my only thing when people date others half their age is that the younger person could legit be their kid in the sense where if they have kids or if they did then there’s a chance that late 40 year old has or would have kids the age of the younger person. My gay roommate from freshman year of college was 18 dating a 31 year old gay man. For me it was odd, but I understood how hard dating is in the lgbt community, so I was just like whatever. I don’t know if the relationship worked out as I stopped talking to my roommate after freshman year, but 🤷🏽♂️. At least for me right now, I wouldn’t date anyone younger than 4 years nor older than 4 years as well. So basically 17-25. I could be persuaded on dating a woman in her late 20s possibly as well, but it would take a lot for me to do so. Meanwhile 17 May sound like really creepy, but it’s the age of legal consent so if I met someone who was mature and was 17, as long as it was consensual on their part then why not. I’m not a very sexually driven person and for me it’s solely based on the mental, emotional, and spiritual connection I feel with people that drives me to want a relationship with that person.
This woman is not only grounded but she is smart and switched on AF! Men and ladies listen to this lass as she is spitting facts here! We need more people like this gaining traction in the online social community and being heard because she is telling the truth. I give you props sweet for posting this message. ❤
Unfortunately the problem isn’t going to stop I’m in high school right now and one of my female friends was having a conversation on the bus yesterday she’s 14 and she’s talking about how she’s already had sex with two guys and another boy was saying oh that’s not bad for a girl who lives in this town now with all the knowledge I have I’m thinking what the hell and yes she lives in a Christian household😂
But a lot of things that goes on I have to keep to myself there’s this girl in one of my classes who’s 15 she already has a child and guess what the teacher is essentially supporting her behavior and she literally yelled out I’m getting D tonight in another ghetto part of the state
@@scj1668 Man I feel bad for your generation. Mine was bad but I think it’s getting worse
@@scj1668 thats called cheap women . lack of self awareness and parental guidance
@@scj1668 that’s disgusting and I think her life just became immensely difficult with a child
Yeah growing up I’ve had my male friends roast me for being a virgin and not having “fun” with women and ngl some of the roasts were funny, they even had me laughing. What’s weird is that as time went on and we got older (we’re in our mid 20s now) I noticed some of them develop this mental problem (I’m not a therapist or mental health worker I don’t know how to phrase it properly) where they can’t emotionally bond with their girlfriends. Some of them who are older than me are kind of envious that their siblings or cousins are married and in good relationships. I guess this isn’t just an issue for older women who can’t find a partner because of their past but men too, I was watching a video with Aba and Preach and Aba mentioned that Andrew Tate and other rich men are sometimes sad at the fact that they can’t find a good woman to be in a relationship with cause they spent so much time having fun (don’t quote me on this I was summarizing what I watched, could have missed out a couple points too) which kinda makes sense. Till now I don’t like “hook up culture” and it is something I don’t think I’ll ever participate in regardless of what my friends say. I have no problem with other people who like to hook up for fun though just don’t try wasting your time convincing others to do what you think is ok for you.
Nice to see another guy who values purity and true love and shit. I might be a beta now, but we'll see who's laughing in sixty years with my rock solid marriage!
love it, i'm not the only man like this.
Yeah this "hook up" culture is ass. I've never liked the "Hook up culture" it doesn't benefit anyone, just causes issues for people who wants something real. But women think all men are trash.
You've said it all mate. I made this decision long ago. The hook-up culture is not the kind of life I want to live.
64 year old man here. I had a one night stand once. It was the worst sex of my life, by far. I've only been in 4 relationships in my life, but 3 of them have lasted between 8 and 15 years. The 15 years would still be happening if she hadn't passed away. Love and sex together is so much more fulfilling than cheap sex. I think you're on the right road.
Thank you Xina, as a gay man, I've lost several meaningful relationships due to my partners choosing hook-up culture over strengthening a loving relationship. Hook-up culture among gay men has not only become the "only way to meet a guy", but also becoming the norm for relationships, open relationships, cheating, 'one-sided' polyamory. I'm sure you can understand why too... A male's dating strategy is polyamory, so when the dating pool is all men, what happens? They are all chasing the thrill of sex, and dragging many many innocent people, who would rather love, into it. You give me hope Xina. Thank you.
When you engage in sexual degeneracy, you are part of the problem.
@@nt6444 I think the point is that the majority do not care at all, or even encourage this behaviour for others as if it's the best way to live. If you don't see a problem with the way you're living, then there is no 'problem'. At least if someone can recognise there is a problem, that's a step to making a change.
Yeah, i feel so sad for gay men who deviates from the hookup culture. All the male gay couples I've met so far that are in long-term relationship or even married for decades happened to be in open relationships. I was at first so happy to see like, e.g this couple together for years then I learn the've been in a open relationship for a bunch of other years. Then I feel disguised, especially because there is a high prejudice against gay couples that is they are no able to stay together for so long, I tought those couples prove them wrong but actually not. It's easy to be in a relationship when It's open while you are "fulfilling" the most mundane human lusts even if don't know exactly what you are looking for. The ethics of affective responsability shifts tremendously and become less strict therefore easier. I remember meeting this gay couple that were married for over 10 years at a party and both were wildly kissing every other boy they met, mostly much younger than them. I find it sad, not because I'm against the ones who chose poliamory but because it seems like a desparate search for fulfillment that they never find, they are always thirst and looking for the thrill like an addict. Same for a lot of straight men but the thing is that as you left implicit, the numbers of straight women engaging in hookup culture are lower than men general, also a lot of women don't buy the idea of open relationship.
@@trinity4827 It's all about the never ending search of lust, never truly satisfied or able to control the urges that eventually can ruin and hurt a lot of people
It doesn't help that 'dating' apps are the only reasonable way to meet other guys
I was listening to an ex s*x worker and she was talking about how she regrets having casual interactions with men and she believes that the rise of s*xual empowerment for women didn't benefit women but it benefited men. To a certain extent, I agree with what she is saying but that only applies to guys who don't want relationships and often, the only guys who benefited for it were the top 10% of men. Most men want to be in relationships and want to connect with someone on a level that is above just having intercourse. Hook up culture is good for government; it keeps everyone single so most people go through life having their own apartments, living alone instead of living with someone and having a family. 2 individual people spending money is better than those 2 people coming together and gathering their resources because the government receives more money from both sides. Hook up culture fs everyone.
SPOT ON!! the sad statistics is female empowerment and hook up culture is lying to women and creating a generation of older women (and men) living much shorter lives . . . I love you thoughts but I think aside from the government its also a lot of coorporations who benefit from single women and men with a higher earning capacity spending for a longer period . . Stable relationships slow spending as both people's goals change dramatically.
Nah mate, hookup culture is HORRIBLE for governments:
- it leads to lower child birthrates, leading to a depopulation, and a reliance on external immigration that is both costly and politically divisive. And, later down the lane, you get 2 populations: a) pool of hoes that have been ran through, yet maintain weird expectations, and b) resentment men that have now grown bitter. These 2 populations are unlikely to form long term, functional families and then lead to a later bomb: mass of individuals with no social ties to help maintain them through aging. Imagine trying to later care for that aging population of disconnected individuals? Horrible challenge.
The whole thing is a massive cancer, brought forth by self-interested corporate interests, incompetently disinterested governments, and moronic feminists that get offended at the thought of long term consequences.
@@adriangallyot4193 You are totally correct on coorporations who benefit from what is going on.
This does not benefit government bc the birthrate is in the gutter and therefore there's a massive derth of future taxpayers and a stagnant economy.
@@adriangallyot4193 sadly men aren’t falling for it anymore due to laws and the narcissistic materialistic people out here they rather die alone is what they say so even if most girls do want marriage it’s pretty much over in US as it’s declining
I'm very hesitant to get into a relationship, since i've seen people betray their spouses so many times. Be it affairs, or smaller thing and its just... really discouraging. I'd rather just remain alone, than risk getting backstabbed like that. I feel like hookup culture has had a hand it that
The time to get in a relationship is when you're set financially, if you do it too early it can literally ruin your life.
@@stockholmpublishings2937 thanks fam
Good relationship > single > bad relationship. I don't blame you
I would rather stay single than be with someone who would cheat on me if given any chance. Or even multiple chances.
@@user-pd9ju5dk5s the problem is that a relationship is not a guaranteed a good relationship.
Thank you for creating this video. As a 64 year old man, I 100% agree with everything you said. I believe that you can be one of those older, still in love after all those years, still holding hands couples. There are men in your generation who want that too. You don't need the mojority of women to decide they don't want to take part in hookup culture for that to happen. You just need to decide that you aren't going to take part in hookup culture, and look for the love of your life. Know that the love of your life isn't one special person out there waiting for you. The love of your life is someone who wants to be together for the long haul as much as you do.
I think she will be too, she said in her last video that she's been in a relationship for 7 years. I think she was referring to the rest of us poor souls when she said there won't be many old couples from her generation. It's said that her situation of having a long term relationship, whilst still so young isn't as much of a norm anymore.
Monogamy is no longer tenable in the West. Stop advising men to change the unchangeable. All you are doing is creating more men that will eventually delete themselves after hitting their head against the wall countless times and seeing no results.
#EndTheWest
Honestly most good women will lose out if women don’t stop or they will have to go overseas
obviously its bad for men lmao.
Most men don't get many women. It's hard for men to have options. This cultures makes everything worse, especially for men sho don't want hoes
Thank you sir. I felt inspired by your post.
People need to understand that being in your 20s and not having much or any relationship experience isn’t nearly as “uncommon” or “strange” as media makes it out to be. I’ve been in 2 committed relationships with a single hookup in between which isn’t necessarily a lot but it’s still more than a large portion of my close male friends and I’m in my 20s. It’s really only a small amount of men who strongly benefit from hookup culture and even then many of them won’t benefit from it for very long. Don’t freak out because you’re 22 and you haven’t had a girlfriend, there’s plenty of time ahead of you and it’s way more valuable to make sure you experience the right kinds of relationships and you’re patient enough to find the right kind of person for you than it is to just jump into dozens of hookups as soon as possible.
I have a question though. What if *theoretically* (I would never) you hookup with a bunch of people while looking for the person you actually like? And then settle down with her. Absolute win right?
....until you do start getting older and that "you have time" aspect really doesn't apply anymore
I am a 21 year old guy and I never had a girlfriend or even my first kiss yet. After getting rejected by 2 girls in my college and no luck with 2 girls whom I knew since my high school days and also no luck on dating apps, finally 5 days ago, a girl matched with me on one of the dating apps and for the first time, I had a decent chat with a girl on dating app without getting ghosted. She is a 19 year old girl and for the past 5 days, the chats were decent enough. We live in the same city but different college and different course too. Do you think this time I will at least get my first kiss? I also get worried thinking what if she ends up ghosting me too or wouldn't want me.
@@sugoi9680 As much as people want to think that just hooking up with anyone won't affect things when you finally decide you want to settle down, it does. From comparing partners to desensitization there's a whole plethora of baggage that body count accrues for both sides
@@rodgerlang884 Shit bro you right. It checks out logically too. Yeah I'm gonna stay away from that fr now.
The phase “sex sells” started it all… I was born in 2000… I’ve never been in a relationship, I’m a virgin. Sex/sexual innuendos has been in everything I’ve seen my entire life.
So you're 22. You're young. Had sex for the first time at 25. Now I'm 29. You still have time. And I think is better to have sex for the first time in the 20's, you're more mature, more ready let's say. Many friends of mine who had sex 1st time in their teens told me it was horrible. Not my case, it was wonderful.
@@chusty93 cope
@@chusty93 Wrong. Having sex when you aren’t ready is detrimental, and no, you’re not mature in your 20’s that doesn’t happen till you’re 30’s. Why do you think so many 30 year olds say this…
@@tiahnarodriguez3809 "Having sex when you aren’t ready is detrimental"
That's what I meant... Do you understand what you read?
"you’re not mature in your 20’s that doesn’t happen till you’re 30’s"
Maturing is a constant process as you grow older. It's not something that stops at some age. My point was that in your 20's you have more maturity than in your teenage years, so you are better prepared for sex in your 20's than as a teenager.
As a millennial woman, I've never really bought into the whole hook up culture thing. I've always felt like it was dysfunctional when you get to the root of it, for both men and women. I had one "hook up" as a curious twenty-one-year-old, and decided never again. It just didn't suit my personality and felt pointless and not even that fun. I concentrated instead on dating for committed relationships and that's what I've spent most of my 20s doing. I've had girl friends who regularly do the whole Tinder carousel and many stay in these crappy situations with random men. And almost all of them deep down DID want a meaningful relationship, but they were participating because that's what they thought they should be doing. Anyway, I'm relieved more women (and men) seem to be realizing some of the toxicity of what hook up culture pushed.
@@Rookie_Mode2023 are you a Christian/Catholic? If so, I could recommend where you could start searching from.
it often seems the way too many people conform with perceived norms, like the old ausch experiment, the participant asked to give the correct answer verses a group unanimously giving a different answer, many of the participants eventually give the same answer as the rest of the group, the wrong answer.
I think one thing kids today need a lot more of, is the will not to conform, to think for ourselves and stick to the answers we came across, people arent so stupid they cant choose for themselves and this predatory society needs to stop trying to normalise its bad behaviours onto us.
@Jesse Lee lol women never take accountability dude.
@@lsva786 and what do men take accountability for, "dude"?
Go ahead. Name some things. I'll wait.
Your entire post is a hodge podge of conjecture and theory.
Hookup culture was created by vvomen for vvomen. That's why they fought for sxual revolution, so that they can have the freedom to bang every chad on the lacrosse team, without facing any judgement. Go do some reading.
Small correction: your girlfriends are more than happy to stay in crappy Tinder situations because they want to continue sleeping with good looking men. Even if they pop out kids, they know they will always find some beta to take care of her and her kids. You vvomen are all the same lol.
It weirds me out how many people treat sex like it's some sort of requirement in life. It's optional. You can go your whole life without sleeping with someone. If you come across "the one," good, I'm happy for you, pursue and develop that relationship to the max.
The thing about relationships is that they are as strong or as fickle as the people involved in them, so please don't make your relationships the greatest good in your life, it will only disappoint you. Find your greatest good in something bigger than yourself that will remain constant in good times and in bad.
sex isn't optional if you want to have your needs met, which I imagine most people do. And it goes beyond the physiological, it's also about intimacy, love and belonging which are even higher needs. Having fulfilling relationships is a huge part of having a satisfying life, stop trying to pretend that it's not.
@@selfinexile I agree that having deep, meaningful relationships with others is essential to a good life, but sex is not an essential component of those relationships.
Look at Buddhist and Christian monks/nuns, they're some of the healthiest, happiest, and most fulfilled men and women on the planet, and they're all sworn to poverty, celibacy, and obedience in the name of something greater than themselves.
They have deep relationships with their brothers/sisters and surrounding communities, but those relationships are all second to something more, something that was here long before they were, and will be here long after they're gone.
@@FourEyedFrenchman biologically you need sex not want but Need and you have to fulfil them or the consequences could be self sabotaging.. I know you are just a kid and probably don't even know the importance of sex so I will leave you here
That’s incredibly dumb. It’s a biological need.
@@catchgenerics8667 Sounds an awful lot like you're rationalizing poor self-control.
I'm so relieved that people are talking about this. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person who actively wants a fulfilling relationship. My ex also convinced me that I was weird for my sexuality and expectations from a relationship
Nothing weird about it. I agree with you on wanting a fulfilling relationship. I had a guy friend in college laugh at me when I said I wanted to save sexual activity for marriage.
@@kellyfrancis8999 Same. He told me I was living in a fairy tail waiting for my Prince Charming… I stopped hanging out with him because why should I compromise on my values? If a guy respects me he’ll have no problem waiting either. Otherwise, he’s not the guy for me.
I’m 22, still a virgin and never had a real girlfriend. It’s not fun to be alone when you’re in your prime. The only motivation I have for anything like self improvement is for myself, and it’s really hard to improve yourself when you see no benefit from it. Right now, I’m driving my dream car, working retail to pay for it and living in an apartment connected to my parent’s house.
This comment will probably be cringey to read but,
I’ve felt loneliness for long enough that it kind of feels nice, it’s familiar and comfortable, even if it is a negative feeling. It’s odd how the human psyche can start to find bad feelings to be feelings that feel good due to being familiar with them. I have a lot of need for more self improvement but at this point I’ve accepted my situation and am doing my best while in it.
Great video, you broke it down very well!
Update: Now I am going to gym 5 days a week, I’ve lost nearly 20lbs and am feeling much better about my current physical state than I did even a month ago. I’ve found motivation in improving myself for myself and am all the happier because of it.
To anyone out there that is struggling, just jump into self improvement, you won’t regret it.
Update 2: Lost 45lbs now and gotten stronger!
Its because you and I have never known anything different.
A man's prime in generally in in your late 20's to mid 30's bro you still lack a lot if life experience.
@MuseTheReaper that's a terrible mindset to have. Hit the gym, improve your credit, sort your finances, improve your quality of life for yourself first. Women being attracted to you are by product of that personal growth. Are you really happy to live like this ? Do you want die leaving no impact or legacy ? Nobody is born a parent you'll have as you go and get support from your parents if you can. The journey from average Joe to exceptional 1-10 percenter is no easy task and requires consistent effort, self sacrifice, and discipline.
I live inside my parent house and found a girlfriend... You'll find someone for you!
I felt similar to you when I was your age. If I can encourage you, I turn 36 in 2 weeks and I’m married to an amazing woman. Looking back to 22 I was nowhere near my peak in anyway that you measure it. I work a job I love now. It can be difficult but I do love it. Physically I can outrun and out lift 22 year old me and I can do both of those things longer than 22 year old me. Best of all I have a better mindset and more wisdom than 22 year old me.
The good news for you is that I didn’t even really start to make changes to my life until I was 24 and it wasn’t until I was 28 (close to 29) before I made the biggest set of changes that really sped up my growth.
So at your age in you position you could progress further than me and quicker and you have room to fail and still be at a good pace. I don’t know you but I’m sure you have a lot to offer the world. It just takes time. Hope this was encouraging for you.
As a guy that’s look at a lot of manosphere/redpill content, I think this is probably one of the greatest analyses of the modern dating/relationship situation. I’m glad there are people out here that can actually observe and see what’s truly going on. It’s better that we have man AND women paying attention and are willing to point out flaws on both sides. All we have to do now is find a solution to the issue but identify the problem is the first step.
Stop simping
@@niarlatotepbasset lmao he is not.
The solution is entirely personal. Because it doesn’t matter what everyone else is doing, what do you want to do? Ask yourself: which will I regret more when I’m 90? Getting married and being with just one person for the rest of your life? Or not getting married, and dying alone?
@@niarlatotepbasset it’s called nuance something redpill content often lacks.
As a woman who has browsed red pill & manosphere content, I agree.
It's absolutely frustrating to have the "all women are sloots" & "only want this, that & the other" constantly projected. & That's ALL they seem to talk about in the RP circles is complaining about "all women are...". The very rare times I'm approached, guys expect me to be "easy" & get unreasonably pissed when I'm not. The last one started stalking me & started local rumors because I wasn't having it. They don't even treat me like I'm a person, but more like a thing to fulfill their own expectations. For years, I've heard guys say they don't want someone who's been passed around... & yet, that's exactly the types they chase while immediately dismissing the ones who want or can offer more than that. It's very circular... you get what you feed into. Guys also claim they want women to do the initiating. Yet in my experience, that's the fastest way to be put into the "desperate" or "easy" category & end up manipulated or treated like garbage. It completely defeats the purpose of being confident enough to initiate & willing to build a connection with someone of the opposite s3x. I've been single & celibate for almost 5 yrs now, never been on a real "get to know you" date because all my previous reltionships started through friend groups, no one asks & no one wants to put forth any effort these days. I won't even touch dating apps either because all I hear (aside from the rare 1% "met my husband on tinder") is how much of a cesspool it's all become.
It makes me feel better to see someone finally bring this up. Bc I’m extremely traditional in relationships but I can’t find anyone who is like me. So it’s hard.
Don’t lose hope! I’m a very traditional woman. We do exist.
@@ashdapr1 highly doubt it
@@ashdapr1 thank u
It's a harsh world for our ilk
Most women are not traditional they want to be all over a sudden lots of fake chameleons
As a man I often felt like I had to participate in hookup culture just to be considered worthy of the wholesome loving relationship that I actually wanted. I would hear so often these words "women want men that other women want." And I felt that if I was every going to meet my future wife, I would need to become a player first.
Now I know that nothing about that makes any sense and that the kind of woman I actually wanted for a wife wouldn't be attracted to the kind of guy I was pretending to be.
Facts, I hate that narrative. I have straight up rejected men I was attracted to bc they had a high body count. It is repulsive and disgusting. I think most valuable woman would think so as well. Stay strong for a good woman!
Women do want men that other women want, but the keyword is want. You don't actually have to sleep with lots of women, just convey desirability.
It's not "Women want men that other women want." but more like "Women want men that other woman also happen to want." Which basically means men who posses qualities often desired by women. Women who want men that other women want sounds like they specifically trying to seduce husbands or boyfriends.
@@excalibro8365 That is how it actually is, because society also pressures RUTHLESSLY women to perform, which is much harder because we don't get taken seriously.
Yes, save yourself until marriage doesn't matter if you have had a "manwhore" phase.. I started liking my now husband because he was different.. he was living in abstinence and not fuckibg women... other women started to see him as desirable as well because he is confident and not player and they knew he would be good father and loyal man, which he is..
I'm a highschool gal who has already planned to practice abstinence until I'm married (for religious reasons as well). I've made my rounds around the manosphere and let me just say how refreshing it is to hear such a smart young lady talk about things that (really most of my generation) needs to hear. I've been told that I'm wise beyond my years, but most of this really just feels like common sense. I'm currently struggling with my weight as well so seeing these videos is actually a bit of motivation since ik what guys would tend to find attractive. Personally I feel like most of the boxes check out except my weight. But that can always be fixed.
I digress, you are absolutely wonderful and I'm looking forwards to seeing more videos from you! God bless!
Thank you so much! I love that for you, never give in to peer pressure. Always do what feels right to you! 😊
You go girl. I respect you immensely and hope you can set a trend.
Your future husband will appreciate that
all i can say is validation is powerful drug. when all the attention come in, most people will change. but stay strong. the man you want wont come with whole package but if you stay with him during his build up stage he will stay.
Don't do that. It is so stupid. There is no problem you having seggs with your boyfriend. Problem is constantly hooking up. There is no shame and anything wrong with having seggs with your boyfriend. Why you should not do that? There is high chance you and your husband is going to be seggsually incompatable leading to a divorce. There are man regreting marring a virgin for these reasons. All of that could be solved if you just had seggs 2-3 times before marriage. It is a disaster for marriage if you dont match each other.
As a man this was really refreshing to hear! All these guys telling women to "go get some cats", "you're gonna die alone", while men lead in suicide is just ... bonkers to me. Life is so much better ... with someone you connect with. But rolling the dice to find that person or those ppl can be really draining. Aww well, all the best!
Yeah but wifing up some used up girl usually ends in disaster.
@@Atlasosa how nice...get some cats
@@MarieJohanna760 I dont like cats.
@@Atlasosa ever heard the expression, "Love is a gamble"? Well ppl have been saying it ... for years. Long long before the internet existed ppl were saying it. So that means ppl were saying it even when men/women had "traditional" roles too. Taking that leap, that big step, that roll of the dice, to share yourself & your life with someone else doesn't come with any guarantees. It didn't back then & it sure as hell doesn't now. All you can do is try to minimize your risks by learning what red flags to look for & being the best version of yourself & learn as you go.
Ignore these guys that make every damn thing into a simp & a loser & you should've known better. They'll always have something to say & its rarely ever constructive. You probably don't remember this but, you learned how to walk by learning how not to fall. You didn't come here already prepared knowing everything. Life & love is the same way! Sometimes you learn what to do by learning what not to do. But the negative types will always make you feel like the effort isn't worth it. You got one life to live, so live it as only you can. Good luck & all the best, whatever YOU decide.
@@YellowPaint100 that’s bullshit
Thank you for this video. As a single 32 year old who never had any luck with dating apps, you shining some light on my pain, and the pain of the average man is so important.
Hope it gets better for you. Focus on yourself and try not to despair.
Where I live most men marry when they're in their older years and it's generally common other places as well, so don't worry
Well your messi g up by using a dating from the start. Get out there and go get some
Dating apps are not really for dating and just for easy sex.
@@tomberver1075 I'm fine with that. I take what I can get.
Check out Playing with Fire
It’s depressing when you’re a single male in you’re 20s and seeing everyone in your friend group go on dates/ meet girls.. I know it’s cause I’m kind of introverted but it still hurts to know I’m missing out on what could possibly be the best years of my life. Seems like you have to be a player to even get a shot these days, anything less is not worth girls’ time.
i feel this a lot for sure man, i’m 19 and seeing what looks like everybody else being involved in these social circles and doing all this naturally makes it hard for those who find it difficult to get in the scene and connect and relate to other people for whatever personal reasons. like even at my age it feels almost impossible to ever find that real connection or even be involved in the dating scene going forward. like there’s a constant overbearing expectation that’s hard to fulfill and live up to
Your teen and 20s aren't always the best years for a male. Alot of men hit there primes in there 30s, hell if you take care of yourself you can extend that into there 40s and 50s. That's around the age you should be at the peaks of your careers. Don't feel like your missing out cuz your not getting laid in your 20s. Some guys it just takes longer
Look for an artsy girl they can be the sweetest and also very introverted
@@Elizabeth-mf3dn What do you mean by artsy? And where could someone look for that?
There are tons of women, and they are not all the same and are not all looking for the same things.
I never understood the concept of sleeping around with a multitude of people, it really desensetizes people from meaningful bonds and relationships. Makes it easier to see potentially good partners as disposal anytime the novelty wears off. So glad people are opening their eyes to the downside of the hook-up culture.
Especially when you know the potential consequences of a one night stand. STDs and pregnancies being severe examples. We live in a culture that promotes casual sex, pornography and indulgence. Making it hard to make the next generation start thinking healthier when it comes to dating.
It's too little too late. Women decide what men can do. And they've been deciding this for decades.
Well obviously some people don't want a life partner, not sure why that's so hard for you to wrap your head around...
@@Phantom-kc9ly I'm a master of my own fate. The best thing for men to do is not play the game.
@@DinkLover69 🤡
There's no greater feeling than waking up next to someone in the morning that loves you as much as you like them. Ive always preferred a steady relationship even during college I didn't like sleeping around and wanted a steady relationship but most of the girls there just wanted quick hookups. Also don't mean to be that guy lol but you're very beautiful makes me happy to see people like you speaking out against hookup culture.
What advise would you give to someone like who is falls deep in this hook-up culture mess? I’m a girl but could you also give some advise for men too?
@@tracyvo3 yeah no problem is there any particular advice you'd like or a specific question? If by falling deep in hook up culture mess you mean you're surrounded by people that just want to sleep around I'd recommend meeting someone at a place that you wouldn't normally go to looking for a date or relationship. Coffee shops, book clubs and stores, hell I met my wife in a Facebook meme group lol. Even though she lived in American Samoa and I was in Colorado we made it work.
@@tracyvo3 its not hard to stop being a thot lmao
As a girl, I enjoy waking up alone and having all the space in my bed, I can watch my laptop or phone without waking someone up, I love waking up knowing I'm free from any responsibility 😊... No better feeling than freedom..
@@kazania7653 that's a pretty grim outlook if you see a relationship as losing your freedom. I feel just as free now as I did when I was single except now I have someone to share my life with.
I just finishing reading the book The Case against The Sexual Revolution (highly recommend) and it discusses hook up culture's negative effects on women which is perfectly valid and necessary to discuss but I wish more people talked about its effect on men. Great video!
The emotionally unavailable men who relish in casual hook ups to avoid doing their inner work don't want the information out there. The "bad boy" image has been glorified for years and they don't want to be dethroned because it will force them to do their inner work and become a man of integrity. Any one who participates in that lifestyle is running from themselves. Period.
@@mybrownsparklez Pure facts 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
@@mybrownsparklez People only feel the need to change when they aren't getting the results they want out of life. The majority of men who benefit from hookup culture are getting exactly what they want, so they have zero incentives to change.
@@mybrownsparklez Most of the guys who you hear putting in work to better themselves are the guys who aren't getting attention from women. As for my bachelor friends who play the field. They're not really lonely per se. They have plenty of options. They just don't like their options. They don't trust women given the divorce stats and their careers make it so they have a lot to lose.
The effect on men is irrelevant as long as the women are still promiscuous by age 18 (or less).
I'm a 29 year old straight male virgin, and been told my looks are just fine - but I find myself just so uninterested in sex and partners because of soooo much media and drama and odd discussions about how things should-and-shouldn't-be that I've found just focusing on myself and spending my money on me and my friends and forming close bonds with a couple close friends has seemingly paid off way more than this 'constant need for a girlfriend'.
That or I'm aro-ace. I've not figured it out.
You do sound aro-ace, but as a demisexual, I am biased. 😅
Just do what makes you happy tbh what comes your way will come what doesn't doesn't
It may be because I’m a very sensitive and self aware person, but I’ll never understand how people can go through life this way, having pointless flings one after the other.
Attention and validation.
I think it’s very important to realize nobody thinks the same in each moment but in the end we will see everyone will agree with you when they are past the age of 25! They never admit it tho until that moment comes
@@AdoreAja That makes no sense. Reaching some magical arbitrary age doesn’t mean anything😂
@@themusicman669 to you . Not everyone believes or thinks the same as you Bailey .
I'm happy I'm not the only one in their youth that thinks Hookup Culture isn't it. I never understood the "empowering" aspect either like it's literally just casual sex - even to us guys it's not that deep and we find it odd but I digress lol
It's actually just communist propaganda preying on the weak minded aka feminists.
The idea is that you have a class hierarchy such as family or basic economic principles and simply because women tend to have an inferior role to men, that it must be because they are oppressed, so they must have a Marxist revolution to overthrow to bourgeoise aka the patriarchy.
It's literally communism created to destroy the US. It's not even a secret.
It's marketed as empowering towards women only because of modern sex liberating feminism.
I agree and I’m so glad to see others who are younger too that think this way. Usually if we Voice our opinions we can get canceled for just expressing an opinion, which is sadly how it is now on certain platforms, but I’m glad to see channels like this where we can express our opinions and not get bashed for it.
so you re not a man? i mean as a man, its great to be able to catch alot of fish. thats what it is to be a man. obviously you dont have what it takes. im not saying you should g out there and fuck em all. im saying as a man thats part of your dna. you a lil feminised buddy.
You don’t feel empowered because you aren’t the one who was shamed for it.
This really struck a cord with me even though the situation I've been dealing with is actually kind of backwards. My ex-girlfriend was part of hook-up culture, she had many flings before me, where I was a much more reserved man seeking a deep connection. It bothered me a little bit, but I didn't let it stand in the way of building my understanding an relationship with her deeper self. At first she was surprised at my attitude but, she also felt that a deeper connection is what she really wanted as well. But as the relationship went on, I noticed she was having a hard time communicating her feelings and emotions to me. I could tell that something was wrong and she immediately go for the explanation of "you wouldn't like the real me". I would follow up by asking what she thought the real her was but she would never really give me an answer. After a while, the communication became weaker and in the end I, the man, ended up feeling like I was being used for sex (Ironic I know) and the relationship fell apart shortly afterwards.
Tying this story back to the video, I think that hook-up culture not only causes us to delay building those real, deep relationships but it also hurts our ability to build and be successful in those relationships. Of course there are confounding factors to this story, but I definitely feel this is a contributing factor to her personal barriers. I genuinely believe she is seeking something deeper in a relationship, even if she doesn't know how, and I still hope she finds the partner that will bring out the best in her even if it isn't me.
I hope this perspective is useful and helps someone. These topics can be difficult, but only through understanding and empathy can we build a better future.
So basically you got played by a girl who was a thot? Got it. Next time dont cuff a girl with any trauma or sexual past because those werent mistakes she made.
I’m literally going through the exact same thing right now brother. I feel your pain🙌🏾
Thanks, just to build off that: I don't know to what extent the internet has impacted our ability to communicate but if 90% of communication is nonverbal, then I'm convinced we as a culture are losing something in the post twitter world.
I had a similar situation with a friend. Luckily I was able to tell my friend that "it's all the real you. All of it. The you that I know and like is just as you as the you I don't know yet.
And the fake me that I put out there is still an extension of the real me. We all got layers (mostly for protection).
There's stuff about me you don't know yet that might make you leave but...it would be dumb for me to leave because I don't want you to know something that would've made you leave once you found out anyway.
So I do like the real you, at least enough of it, to put up with rest of you. And so far I think you feel the same about me. There's already things about each other we're not a huge fan of that we talk about some of them make us laugh others not so much. Look, it's hard enough to find someone you know and trust well enough that you want to admit that there's more to your story. But there's always more to everyone's story. No matter how dramatic the twist it's still a part of the story I've been enjoying all along"
Luckily my friend was able to hear that. And our vulnerability, trust, and friendship continues to grow between us
😊😊😊
Maybe men need to stop sleeping with women who are not their wives . Maybe that will change things for everyone. 💭 🤔
This was a sobering message. Not that I am the kind of guy who participates in hookup culture even if I wanted to, I just hope this message gets out to those who need it, as fast as possible.
I agree. Ive been hooking up with random women for 10 years now using mostly Tinder and I feel empty inside, miserable and more lonely than ever. Casual sex is a trap, the chase feels good yes but afterwards you feel a void in your soul and kinda depressed. If feel like you soul is lost in the process and its pretty hard to quit to cause you became desensitized. Datings app are a trap srs.
PS: Trust me, after a while you dont even remember the faces.
Lmao I can’t figure out if this is a joke or not
Thats the deal with the devil.
Quick pleasure for a piece of your soul.
@@fozza1051 why do you say that?
The quagmire name is throwing me off I can't tell if this if this issue a joke
@@clevelend22 His name and Pfp is a reference to the sex addict/womanizer Quagmire from Family Guy
I agree 1000% percent. During my early 20s this culture almost destroyed me. It's difficult to love a girl when the body of other women is in your mind. The way to heal is to not enter a relationship until you learn the 5 love languages and detox from all the imagery and memories of hooking up. It's a very difficult and painful healing process but it's possible. PLEASE do not listen to those redpill guys who say men can have casual sex, all of those men will have to deal with emotional pain and psychosis. A man is supposed to protect his partner not destroy her by given her pleasure and then leaving her. This act leads to great shame.
What on earth are you talking about, what is wrong with you? xD
@@Lerbrandt understanding the consequences of promiscuous behavior is seen as strange for those who haven't yet experienced the consequences. It harms the deepest parts of the human psyche.
Well put - I think some aspects of red pill theory do have merit, but for the most part I would agree with you. Also the way a lot of the red pill community treat or speak about women is absolutely disgusting.
You just haven't overcome your masculine guilt yet. You are still in the letting people bully you phase. Have sex with who you want, openly and without guilt. You can cheat on her. She can't cheat on you. There's a biological reason for this. You've just been gas lit into believing a lie.
No, there is a tradeoff. Naturally men would give her a child and then run and do it again and not give her anything afterwards, but that way of living doesn't satisfy emotional needs, so they may end up lonelier. That natural way of living doesn't lead to happy ending, but if you aren't promiscuous men deny their nature. So a lot of men try to subvert this by being promiscuous while young and then marrying when older. The Gs so to speak can get away with it.
If you had a podcast I would 100% listen to it and I know many other people would too. Your voice is really calming and you’re very eloquent, you also give so much good insight into controversial topics and things that society has just accepted as okay.
I'm a guy and I've never participated in hook up culture. I spent my 20's and 30's being either ignored by women or told I was too nice to date. I'm about to hit 40 and in 20 years had one girl friend. The last time I was on a date was near 20 years ago. Despite not participating I've still found myself in the same place as all the people who did. The innocent are getting caught in the gears just like the guilty. Women are the only ones that can change things. I'm afraid its too late for me and other men of my age like me, but I can hope and pray there is hope for the younger ones.
Relatable.
Go overseas i recommend channels like auston holeman
Holy shit the amount of broken people generated in this mess unbelievable.... I am 26 and still hopeful but I don't feel as good as when I was 23, hopefully enough people finally start to wake up and try to find each other in other ways than these apps. Really these apps destroy society, I never saw it that radical, but the more I see the more I think it's one of our core problems in society which brings a lot of other issues as baggage aswell. Declining families, declining birthrate and because of this more old people and less young people to pay taxes and this leads to more people being poor etc.
It's like this brings so much issues into the society its insane when you think about it.
It should be banned from the governments or something like that, this is existential threat to a society.
@@Gaphalor But then they'd have to convince women not to shriek harrassment if guys ask em out in the street or at work.
@@ADobbin1 Let them shriek so what?
Having been with around 15 women by the age of 26, this is 100% true. It’s taken me a while to undo the damage from rewiring my brain to not crave hooking up with new girls. I’ve realized the apps are designed the make you lonelier, and capitalize on that. And realized I need to become the man that my future wife wants me to be. I’ve definitely gained a lot of confidence with women as a result, and a lot of sexual experience to where it doesn’t intimidate me anymore, so there are positives, but there comes a point where you realize your time is running out and you need to grow up. That being said, I’ve tried creating monogamous relationships with many girls on these apps, and I’ve never cheated or talked to more than one girl at once, but many of them are used to this culture too and it’s trash.
youve had sex with more than 15 women and somehow the culture is trash but not yourself? lmao
Time is running out? LOL a man's Prime does not start until ang 30 if he put in the work beforehand. I was watching a recent video on Filipina pea and a man had a 34 year dating gap.
@@colbalt95 Asian women are just looking for green cards bud. They don’t count
I'm in the same position as you (same age too!), and I feel the same. We're used to hooking up and cannot build one relationship. And it feels like everyone has too many options with the apps so you can be ditched in any moment. But I agree with No Internet, we do have 10 more years becoming more attractive to women as we reach our prime. Tends to be correlated with money but hey that's the way it is!
Yep. I needed to reword my brain aswe
I’m 30, single, never married, never participated in hookup culture, prioritized a career of changing the world for the better and have finally settled down career-wise. I’ve been for quite some time looking for someone who also cares about making the world a better place with me but have found it to be incredibly difficult to find and obtain love with someone like that due to a lot of what you said.
Women don't care about making the world better. They care about how much of the world they can acquire.
You're a product. Sell it to them.
@@bobjohnson1633 yeah the more I look out into this world it seems to me that most women only care about making THEIR world better for themselves
Forever virgin 😂
You can't find someone that tick all your boxes.
Yea bcus nobody wanted to hookup with you. Did you really have a choice?
I believe this. Both the women and men are bitter and hurt, screaming on clubhouse all day about how bad the other gender is etc. And the ones that aren’t in hookup culture can be bitter too. Thankgod I was halfway smart and decided at 19 I wasn’t a hookup kinda girl at all. Once I found a man I held on for dearlife. It’s been rough, we both have baggage but we both KNOW we ain’t shit without eachother 😩😂😂😂
As it should lol like quality/options that I can care less for 🤷♀️
Honestly, I don't care. They chose to sleep around, have unrealistic expectations, etc. They could have said no to sex but they didn't. This is why God says to not commit unruly fornication. It causes misery.
@@opticalraven1935 God also said not to be arrogant or announce your good deeds with trumpets yet we still see a lot of Christians ignoring those verses when they go on to brag about how "pure" they are to others in an overly self-righteous attitude. That also causes misery
Woman must don't blame man and take responsibility for her actions ,
after being in a toxic relationship trying to make it work, i now find solace in being single. i'd much rather stay single the rest of my life than be with someone who doesnt respect me or love me for who i am and not try to make me into something im not.
This!!!!
Out of curiosity. What is the longest amount of time you have been single? Like really single. No female/male attraction whatsoever.
@@alphahuntz2924 as of now 8 months.
@@spencer1280 well. Coming from someday that has been single for 10 years. Trust me you dont want that.
@@alphahuntz2924 don't want to be single or don't want to settle? I was single up until 25 and was with the same person 2 years and we broke up this year.
As a 28y woman who hasn’t had a serious relationship ever, I don’t even know how to approach dating nowadays, I do feel like my time is running out for certain things I would like to do, but oh well, I’m okay with the plan b which is being a happy cat lady, I’ve accepted that true love isn’t meant for everyone
There's probably average men that 'love' you, it's just that you don't find them attractive. You keeping expecting the top 10% of guys that are out of your reach to love you.
@@joseph3036 well, how can they love me if they don’t know me? I’m not interested in men that look at me as some decoration. I also have to actually like the person, I’d rather be alone than with someone that I don’t like just for the sake of them loving me. I actually want to love as well, no men has made me fall in love with them, there’s just not enough character, I’ve met plenty of good looking or average looking men that are DRY, they don’t have anything to talk about, no hobbies or passions, no desire to experience anything new, no interest in barely anything, no humor, not enough confidence. The only thing I really like in men is confidence (not cockiness) and it’s not easy to find, everyone is always trying to prove a point, and most men put simply too much importance on sex, when in the long run what you better have is good communication. Everything else can be talked about, but most men are emotionally unavailable which puts me off tbh, but anyway that’s my opinion. Probably shouldn’t have replied to you, but I wanted to let men know that they gotta take care of themselves internally (as in emotionally) for me to even consider them… literally bare minimum for any regular person but men don’t feel like they have to do that work and idk why
I am 46 and still a vìrgin and never had a girlfriend. Girls never wanted me when I was younger and now most women my age are full of baggage. I am trying to go for younger women in the 26-35 age group now. I am even open to dating a 21-23 year old woman but I don't know whether she would want a 46 year old man so maybe I can go for a 26 or 27 year old woman as she would still be young and matured at the same time.
@@lostecho5318 visit a prostitute. saves you time and money believe it or not. 50 bucks for a prostitute or 100 bucks for a date with a broad with baggage that def aint givin up that coochie to you. your call. if i were you i d go to a prostitute, pay her and get it over with.
Im embarrassed for this comment section, really cringy and manlet-y
You’ve hit the nail on the head multiple times.
As one of the 85%, I am just as scared for being alone forever, like the man in the story, but by no fault of my own. I am still very young (22) and have never been liked by a girl, and I fear I’ll never be loved. I don’t even care for the hookup culture and do want to try and settle down asap, but it’s just so hard when no one wants me.
However, unlike the loudest people online (and in person), I prefer not to hate people but rather the culture. Which is why I clicked right away when I saw your video. If our generation didn’t prioritize sex and gave every man and woman a chance regardless of their looks and social status, we’d see a lot more people who want to settle down and live experiences with that special someone.
Edit: seeing a lot of people say “get a job/focus on career”, I’ve been doing it for the last 6 years and it has led me to a top tech job
Working out and being genuinely kind help. Compliment people honestly and innocently.
just pay me I will be with you
@@Denice.67 💀piss off damn
@@Mimi-mq2wj why you hating?
@@Denice.67 fed activity
Back in the days, I thought dating apps were to find true love and I went on them to find out guys just wanted to hook up 😪
I'm in my 40s and have never used a dating app. I'm in a long term relationship with a younger woman. I can remember a time before the apps were normalised in society. They are not helping us. People are not products to be selected or rejected based on an algorithm. I hate the distance between men and women now, I don't think anyone is happier in the west. We have everything at a touch of a button and are all the more miserable for it. Human connection is being replaced by choice as dictated by tech companies. Loneliness is crushing people, but because of the more for less convenience culture we're leaning harder into it in the hope that the drug relieves the pain, not cure us. I can't stand hookup culture. I think men and women are both responsible for it, and can only fix it if we reject it, but it's going to be hard. Nothing is better than romance, and taking a risk on someone for love.
Your channel is great, only a matter of time before you blow up so keep going and speaking freely.
Yeah man I agree . . I am about to turn 40 and honestly dating apps were an overall weird experience (as one of the 85% men) . . . there was ofcourse the very little interest . . however the few that did show interest wanted something so specific (both racially, physically and financially) that I was just put off. Thankfully I was a bit older than the average guy and my life experience helped me navigate through the psychological minefield of bachelor life . . . I did meet my now wife on Tinder which I count as a blessing. I think the main problem with dating apps and hook up culture is that both women and men have started to view each other as commodities rather than people, and that is going to have a very damaging effect on the ability to build long term relationships.
@@adriangallyot4193 very true. I think for the majority of men there's nothing but cruelty on those apps, for women just crushing disappointment. I'm glad to hear you made it out and are married. I can't imagine what it must be like to be born directly into that dating culture but in my heart I know it isn't good. Sex for me is not without consequence, I don't think we should give it away so cheaply.
@@carlfitzsimons8665
There’s more females on those apps than males so that’s part of the issue.
obviously its bad for men lmao.
Most men don't get many women. It's hard for men to have options. This cultures makes everything worse, especially for men sho don't want hoes.
Religion and Islam are the only things speaking about this
The increase in loneliness and sexless guys have much more to do with dating apps and social media. By the way I do not want to ban these sites, I just want people at least to moderate themselves when they are on the sites ( or some people quit using these sites if they choose to ). Not to mention these people also need to know the difference between the reality of life and the glamorize rich lives of Internet figures that most people are not going to live that particular life.
The casual hookup scene has always been a thing ever since the sexual revolution started in the early 60s, and we've been only seeing this rise of lonely sexless men since the rise of social media around the year 2010. So like I said before at least moderate yourselves when using social media with also knowing the difference between the reality of life within the average person and the glamorized rich lives of Internet figures. After that you'll most likely be fine.
The saddest thing is that most men would probably prefer to have a meaningful monogamous connection with a woman, but most women don't believe they do and most men don't believe women do either.
The worst people in are society are currently the most vocal and the most visible right now, and it's making such a huge number of people feel so hopeless.
I know so many women who struggle while dating cause they are waiting for marriage. And I also know so many men who believe women are all sluts or "reformed" sluts who would never be faithful.
I myself am waiting for marriage, and my main problem is my introverted personality. I struggle in social settings and putting myself out there. That's basically the reason I'm single.
But the older I get, the more men assume I'm just your average slut. They try to date me, but then realize I'm actually wanting to build a gradual connection with them and am not going to be intimate with them immediately. And that's generally when they lose interest.
From my perspective at least, most guys seem to go for the socially skilled and extroverted type women. And all of those types of women are either married very young or they are indeed participants in hookup culture. So it's no wonder that, later in life, men think all the single women are sleeping around. Cause yes, pretty much all the extroverted ones are doing that. And the introverted women aren't easy to find or notice.
Correction. Men don't specifically go for the socially skilled and extroverted women. They go for the attractive ones.
@@mrdouche9172
True. But the extroverted girls are the ones who tend to go out more and are generally more visible. Know many attractive introverts who will often get asked out if they ever leave their house, but they just rarely do.
So, six of one and half dozen of the other.
Idk about the men would prefer to have monogamy thing. Im in a situation with this guy rn. He really likes me. I can tell and he puts in a lot of effort. He asked me to gf but problem is all his previous gfs let him sleep around with multiple women and I’m not ok with that. Now he’s getting cold feet.
obviously its bad for men lmao.
Most men don't get many women. It's hard for men to have options. This cultures makes everything worse, especially for men sho don't want hoes.
Religion and Islam are the only things speaking about this
you're right, BUT the issue is that introverted women could easily find someone. I don't know how old you are, but if you have decades to find someone, and you're a woman, who has it very easy to be attractive, as women easily are.... its kinda your fault. Women can easily be sought out on social media, anywhere.
But I do agree with you, introverted women might have it a little harder, but for introverted men its damn near over.
I also disagree with you in that many men are beta simps who don't mind or care about body counts. MOST men probably. They marry women who cant pair bond, the divorce rate is sky high. If a dude says he wants a low body count he's demonized. Theres many men who would overlook it, but women are realizing that being modest and those simp men are bad for them. The feminist movement confused everyone.
I have been waiting for so long to hear women talk about these issues. There is a lot I am trying to unlearn and heal from as a 25 year old man and all of these women content creators coming around talking about these things is saving my life please keep making videos like this!!
I also really enjoy that women are talking about these things more because, as a woman, they’re opening my eyes to a lot of things that men struggle with. We’re all struggling in one way or another. Discussions like these are what’s made me realize that empathy is very important when trying to understand people who aren’t like me. Being raised in a culture full of extremely contrasting points of view, empathy helps you see the nuance in things.
They are not on your side. Don't be so easily fooled. These are used-up women that have long since parted with their best wanting guys like you to be content with having sloppy seconds. Have some self-respect and just say no.
@@jkfd97 Jesus fucking Christ I WAS HAVING A MOMENT HERE!!!! ☠️
@@jkfd97 How is she used up when she's currently in a stable relationship?
@@jkfd97 have you considered that some people just want to help others grow?
I've been reading a good amount of romance novels this past year. It's been quite eye opening to see different perspectives of women and what they fantasize for in relationships. It got me thinking about how I can be a better boyfriend when I start dating again.
You shouldn’t rely on romance novels for real world expectations. And for the love of God, I hope you weren’t ready 50 Shades of Gray Thai king that’s what the average woman wants 🤣
Romance novels? If it helps ya, knock yaself out. Best of luck to you and your lady, if you have her.
@@tiahnarodriguez3809 I hope they aren’t dark romances. They’re nuts 😭😭😭
I would advise against this. Any woman who thinks relationships should be like romance novels is likely immature and naive
@@daebak_hanaRomances are a spectrum. Some are terrific and well-written with healthy relationship dynamics; others are...50 Shades of Grey.
Just get lots of variety. It will help you separate the wheat from the chaff.
From an outside “old person” perspective, hookup culture looks like a very appealing machine that churns out cynical people with lots of regrets. I also think that “the good old days”, when marriage was a strong institution, the wedlock machine was not much different. Many married couples were incredibly unhappy, But at least back then kids had two unhappy parents at worst instead of one absent neglectful mother and a series of stand in males rotating in and out their life
First mature comment - marriage was a different version of this hookup culture
don't forget to add , grandparents and bigger families.
Now it's green goblins with lots of tattoos and fake parts of their bodies.
@@fireinthenight9028 we need families and communities back
@@Ryan-cb1ei this would require the re-establishment of the natural order (patriarchy)
@@redditor7548 not sure if the patriarchy is the answer.
I would say , it would help to build strong families but first of all need to abolish family courts and broken law when it's the first step to tear families apart.
Really appreciate you for providing such good insight and also raising more awareness about the detrimental effects of hook-up culture on us men. I'd also like to add, that with the sexual revolution society has indeed perpetuated the idea of "Sex, sex, sex, and more sex". Almost all forms of media is bombarded with images of attractive and highly desirable men and women. And this affects us subconsciously. Without us knowing we are greatly motivated to take courses of action that will lead to more sex. Men study game, workout in the gym, increase their confidence and charisma, and work incredibly hard to create a name for himself and be wealthy and successful. If you ask a man why he goes through all this most likely he'll tell you that one of the main reasons why - is so that he can have sex with as many beautiful women he wants. Now we can say that in a way this is the natural order of things as with evolution, mating and selection, but I don't think that many men have actually stop to think real hard and come to the maddening realization that we have been heavily influenced and conditioned by society to think this way. We men as well as women of today have become hypersexualized.
For men it's an ego thing. The privilege and ability to sleep with as many beautiful women as he wants may definitely sound like the dream for many. But after listening to a lot of successful, respectable, and great men who've gone through this it seems that they've one thing to say in common - That the playboy and hookup lifestyle is shallow and empty. And this goes well with the message shared in this video. It only in a way boosts your ego guys. But why would you need that boost if you have more significant things in life going for you? If you take that kind of lifestyle also you're more prone to get some form of STD. You may also accidentally impregnate a random girl and that may cost you, her and your children a life that none of you ever wanted. Bear in mind as well every time you have sex with a random person you are forever imprinting a part of your soul to them and they to you. With all these negatives in consideration why is there still this predominant need for us to have sex with so many people? Because it's alpha? Maybe it's also because that is what society has fed to you your whole life?
Personally I think that it would really be great if we could all just slow down and take the time to get to know our partners first. Love is special you know. No matter how cheesy it may sound. Having that genuine and deep bond with someone you truly want to be with will always trump a random midnight booty call with that hot person. These are just my opinion.
Thank you for taking the time to read.
You have some good points. So for the men it's just about variety right? It's not about quality over quantity? Just an ego boost. A man will sleep with 100 women, because he can. He's getting sex....but its not necessarily mind blowing sex. That usually can only be achieved with someone he actually cares about. More men need to realize, hook up culture is not a sustainable lifestyle.
This was beautiful, thank you. There's a book called "What happens when time slow down" something like that, it's filled with colorful pictures too
i dont really see how hooking up with beautiful women who will kick you to the curb the next morning and sleep with the next guy the next evening is an ego boost. theyre just using men for sex.
I discovered that about myself a long time ago. Once I respected it and consciously decided not to participate, it was much more fulfilling. I need the emotional connection
Very well put. 👏🏾
Social media destroyed society and changed the dating scene forever ♾️
We're in the twilight of western culture anyway. The clock will soon be at midnight.
Agreed
@Xafovod do you see the internet going away anytime soon? I think not. I’m 28 and I remember when 📱 were strictly cell phones that were used to call someone and to send a text message and that’s it. Now you got phones that can face time people and access the internet at will. If you wanted a gf or bf you actually had to leave your house and approach people in real life and engage in conversation. Nowadays you just hop on tinder or Facebook and Instagram. See the point I’m making here. Shits changed but not in a good way. You would think the internet would be doing everyone a favor but in fact it’s doing the opposite. And it’s not technology or the internet that’s bad. It’s just the people who choose to use it.
The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race…
@@zootjitsu6767 agreed! The only social media I have and or use is UA-cam and I also stream sometimes on twitch! But I stay away from Tik Tok Instagram Facebook Snapchat etc! And apparently they are thinking about banning Tik Tok in the USA! Why do you guys think that is?! I would suggest everyone please stop using tik tok and just social media altogether if you can help it! The choice is yours!
Being old and alone is incredibly sad and I do not wish this upon anybody. Yes, if you get married and have children, you can still have a bad relationships but there will be somebody. Imagine being old, all your friends are gone, your parents are gone, you have no husband/wife, no children, no grandkids, you are alone. This is what the modern world tells you is what you should strive for. To die alone, forgotten.
Oh fuck your scared me for a bit there😮
There’s nothing wrong with being lonely 😂 you’re dying eventually old boy/girl. You can still go around talking to people.
@@MicJackson58 well ever thought that some people don’t want to die alone unlike some other people 🤯
It's scary just reading this. Take care of yourself and I really hope you're doing fine
a lot of people ended up being alone is because of their personality and character. it doesn't matter even if you never married and have children, if you are actually a lovely and lovebale person you will be surrounded with people. I know some people with dead partner and no children with them (a lot of adult children have their own children and work to do) but they are very active in the community so they are never alone.
As a guy who can’t participate in hookup culture even if I wanted too you’re right I don’t hate the women who have constantly rejected me I hate the culture
*Kudos on you for being mentally stable after getting rejected.* I would totally hated the women who rejected me in the past, if I were you.
I am a woman, and i've felt this for a very long time. Except you have articulated it in such a mature and intellectual way. Way to go, keep up the good work:)
You are AMAZING!!! So glad I never partook in hook up culture, got married at 21 and now I'm in my late 30s and never even once I regretted it or felt like I missed out. Thank you for putting all those reality facts out for the young people to see. Perhaps it will prevent someone from a lifetime of misery and they will be grateful to you for the rest of their life. Honestly, be blessed!!
Ew
@@somegrill7561 To each their own.
@@somegrill7561 what's ew about this
I agree that hookup culture is harmful but I also think people that are constantly trying to find a relationship won't find happiness either. I believe western culture puts too much emphasis, especially for women, to find a partner and they portray a relationship as the only way to be fulfilled. You can find love, connection and meaning through other relationships as well like friendships and community. You just have to be willing to be open and vulnerable with your friends and to seek out communities that fulfill you (neighbors, volunteering etc).
this is so well-said. true
I disagree humans were made to be in a relationship
@@rsiogjtsjiflgtksjfijgsrljhlf true! And I think there’s way of finding intimacy and things you get from romantic relationships in other relationships like friendships
You certainly can find a lot of fulfillment in a community but you may still come back to an empty house. On a flip side you can have roommates.
Well said. And I don't agree with this very simplistic top 15% of men thing. I have women friends whose romantic interests are definitely not in that category and they still have trouble.
I’m like a 4.5/5 out of 10 and I met my fiancé and hen I was 17 and I’m 22 now. I can tell you that if you’re gay straight bi whatever genuinely falling in love and spending your life with someone who you never get tired of is an experience unequaled by anything else.
i am 19 now ...i will note that✍✍✍
@@212letliveonearth don't be sad if you are still single as you are 19. I am a 21 year old guy so we are very close in age and I never had a girlfriend either. I am sure you are a very beautiful girl and I bet I would have got a crush on you if we were in the same college. Here is one virtual hug for you just to make you smile 🤗.
@@manosijroy8282 that's so sweet ty🙃
@@212letliveonearth Haha welcome. Can you hug me back too virtually? 😅
@@manosijroy8282 here's a virtual hug to u too
Never got into the hook up shit, im a relatively attractive dude. Wasn’t looking for any sort of relationship with a female and then out of nowhere shit just started developing naturally with this girl. Nobody forced anything on anyone, shit felt so unreal and happy.
fr same
Honestly this is my best piece of advice. I haven't been single since jr high, and I've never looked for a partner. Just live your life true to yourself, be social and meet people with no expectations. Love has a way of just happening, trying to force things never works. It's sad because I've known many people that would make great partners and have trouble getting one, but they just don't get it. Always pushing hard for attention. People get the wrong idea and run, comes off creepy and not genuine
love that for you
You are what you attract. I’m learning that myself
Damn I wish I was u I don’t be looking for relationship still nothing works I’ll be alone forever
This is a fantastic video, hookups are in my opinion dehumanising for all involved. To have such low self-esteem to be used by another person for one night and tossed aside is horrid
I gave up entirely on women and dating and I've honestly never felt more fulfilled and realized in my entire life. I managed to get the job I always wanted, I'm economically stable, can afford to pursue my hobbies, and spend my free time with my family and friends. The fact that getting away from dating removed such an amount of toxicity from my life, despite me going against my biological imperative to procreate, made me happier, speaks volumes about the state of modern relationships. To me, the problem is not only hook up culture, but the lack of decency and boundaries that our society keep pushing on everybody. Having a lot of sex is seen as a positive thing for both sexes; but to me, there is no intrinsec value in having sex just for the sake of it. Why not just hire a prostitute or a gigolo, then? The meaning of having a partner is reduced to "he is my dealer of sex". That's literally modern relationships in a nutshell.
how old are u (honest question)
If you feel truly fulfilled and happy with that then awesome! I was in the same boat and that was when I met my fiancée. Just be open to the fact that you CAN truly have it all and it's not all toxic.
@@resolute7177 I also want to know
""To me, the problem is not only hook up culture, but the lack of decency and boundaries that our society keep pushing on everybody.""
No this is a resone why you maybe dont get a Partner. To give up and complain about everything else that has a bit more succes in those areas. Because it dosent fit your Worldview.
"" Having a lot of sex is seen as a positive thing for both sexes; but to me, there is no intrinsec value in having sex just for the sake of it. Why not just hire a prostitute or a gigolo, then? The meaning of having a partner is reduced to "he is my dealer of sex". That's literally modern relationships in a nutshell.""
Because being a more Sexual Person is nothing bad. And since some People dont like that, those People would find a Partner or Social Interactions that fits them.
"" That's literally modern relationships in a nutshell.""
That was always the case. Past generations have had it even worse when it comes to things like stable households or love.
Save money and move to a third world country where you go from middle class to rich. Girls will find you much more attractive.
Hookup culture has risen, because we got rid of all consequences. It started way before dating apps where invented:
* Contraception => No risk of getting pregnant.
* Transportation => Society can't shame you easily, because nobody knows that you hooked up in a pub several miles away. (In german, we had terms like "Dorfschlampe". I believe that "village bicycle" is an English phrase that meant the same.)
* Dating apps => Society can't shame you, because nobody knows your private hookup.
* Dating apps => You will never run out of option, because now you gained access to a global market.
Spot on
I don't participate jn hookup culture. Infact I'm waiting till marriage but like why would u shame someone for not doing that?
@@pussydestroyer69285 it is actually part of the inter-generational learning process. It is important to shame people for their bad behavior and also in their best interest (even if they don't see it that way). Just think about all the older women ranting on TikTok. Promiscuity has a dark side. It reduces a women's chance of finding a life partner, since most men don't want such women as wive. Shaming is basically a social feedback mechanic. It tells women that their will be consequences early on. It warns men about the directly affected women. While this is done, other women will realize that they don't want to go the same route.
@@pussydestroyer69285 did you not watch the fucking video😭
Are you German if so me too .willst du ein Gespräch haben über die Situation hier in Deutschland , ich glaub nämlich das es hier ziemlich äh ich abläuft wie in den states
A lot of great points and facts you brought up in this video. As a guy, I definitely agree that I much rather have a consistent girl that actually cares than a bunch of randoms that I would only know for a few days/weeks and never talk to again, who never really cared as a result of the culture we’re living in now. You did a good job with this video
I think us younger women are not taking part in hookup culture or dating at all and realizing that it’s better to be single instead. ❤
We are also celebrating our singleness too
I doubt that
@@mba2ceo deadass. It goes both ways
@@mba2ceo your perspective doesn’t negate fact. Gen z is having less seggs.
Yeah it's mostly young millenials
The thing about hook-up culture imo from personal experience as a man is it's not the actual sex itself (porn can fulfill that need in a way) but the feeling of being desired or getting a woman to desire you that's intoxicating. There's also a sense of power and control in play too especially when "catching" feelings come into the equation. It's not like I didn't have some feelings for these women or want a relationship. it's more of you're just spoiled for choice and it's easy to become indecisive. Sometimes I miss the times I had that were like this, but it's a losing game because the women eventually find someone or leave on their own and I'm left all alone.
I blame media and society for encouraging this behavior. Men are taught to believe that their self-worth comes from sleeping with as many women as they can rather than striving for achievments.
Why not blame your own lack of self respect? You just admitted that you enjoyed the chase more than anything and now you’re blaming the media for your choices. take accountability. You likely led a lot of women on in the process and you even admit that they inevitably leave you behind bc of your own indecisiveness. Stop blaming everyone else and take accountability for your own inner work that needs to be done and recognize why you feel so compelled to desire being desired.
@@goldenovaries maybe I wasn't being clear enough. What I'm saying is I did all of that, by choice, because of how it made me feel. Even though it in the end I ended up feeling worse about myself. I'm also aware that I chose to lead women on, but wouldn't take responsibility, excusing it as me being friendly.
As for society and media, im talking in the vein of men in general rather than myself. It isn't forcing men to make their choices, but they sure do make the idea enticing. To be specific, I'm mostly pointing towards the PUA and RP communities. I think they should bear some responsibility.
Imo I don't see any other big communities that encourages confidence and self-growth without using women as a goal. There is MGTOW but that comes from a toxic place of hating women. I think men should look at great men in the past and what drove those men to get a better understanding of themselves.
Nowadays I'm not interested in searching for a relationship because I've found own sense of purpose and direction. I'm interested in leaving a legacy behind like those great men before me.
@@Mogo-jan I never thought I will defend mgtow as some parts of a community is toxic sure. I get that some people hates women for their own failures ,I think as a person who takes some of the teaching, ideas and introduces them in my own life I can assure you that the real meaning of it means much more than women , relationship and their validation.
It's about self respect, self worth and self validation , finding greater purpose within oneself ,Helping find peace in your own life and don't let anything or anyone to manipulate or distract your mind.
@@fireinthenight9028 I didn't mean to throw the whole MGTOW community under the bus since I agree and follow a lot of their principles. It's more of there's an alarming amount of men who get into it out of pettiness instead of wanting to self-improve. It's not hard to find on youtube. Basically the misogyny part is too significant for me to completely stand by it. If the well-known members promoted self-improvement and not "women ☕" I'd actually be for it.
I feel a bit more supportive toward the MRM though, albeit hesitant to join because I'm more interested in my own individuality.
Your explanation explains why men that do hook up culture or get mad at women not giving it up after a date get offended when those women say ‘hire a professional’. Its because, a professional cannot be played with & I’ve come to understand that men will rather play games with unwilling suspects than play fair with someone who is also gaining out of the deal. They want that genuine desire that a professional won’t have. I still think it’s sad to play around with women like that.
Society: “We should stop toxic masculinity and let men open up about themselves.”
Also society: “Lol incel😂😂😂😂 Such losers.”
I’ve never thought of it like that before.
Society is afraid of the incels, hence all the shit about toxic masculinity and what not. 😂
The society has always been a hypocrite.
Then they’re surprised on
why men are causing violence, they can only take so much of this BS.
aren't incels people who hate women and act like they are entitled to sex from them
A lot of women are angry at this, but you're right lol, I myself have had close friends drag me for bringing up these points to them.
The truth will set you free, but first it'll piss you off I guess. None of this is new to me. Keep spreading your truth❤
They know deep down you are right. The truth just hurts too much to admit because it would mean questioning their whole worldview.
I read “keep spreading your legs”
Agree🎯
This is a femceI channel. 75% of divorces are initiated by women and conversely most of the times it's the guy who buys the ring and gets on his knee to propose. Hookup culture is largely created by women.
A lot of women are angry at the consequences of their own actions?
I'm 31 and the hook up and poly culture, even around my age, is still so bad that I still struggle with the idea that I'm going to end up alone because a wide majority of people still want this whole "I'm not ready for a relationship" or "humans weren't supposed to be monogamous" identity and just finding anyone who wants to be in a long committed relationship is so hard. I'm still young so I'm hopeful but I do be feeling that biological clock ticking and I'm scared that this mindset has already bled too far out to be repaired
This "humans were not supposed to be monogamous" thing is bullshit. No other species has the complex relationship dynamics we have. We don't come programmed one way or the other.
My husband and I met in the midst of hookup culture in 2015. Neither of us ever wanted a part in it and just wanted to date for marriage and luckily found each other. My husband was pulled into it a little bit the few years before we met , he didn’t enjoy it at all. He was just numb, depressed, not thinking, and would just agree to women throwing themselves at him or thinking maybe it would fulfill him for a moment. It just made him more depressed and feel dirty after. I think his friends and others would look at him and think he’s this ladies-man and must be so happy to have girlfriends and get laid but he never even wanted that for himself and just fell into it for a bit. I think many men feel this way and it just doesn’t get talked about.
I ended up never participating in it. It never seemed right to me and I didn’t want to be naked with somebody I barely knew . So glad I waited. I don’t think “body count” necessarily matters but it does damage to sleep with someone who doesn’t care about you. I’m glad I didn’t have to experience that
Body count matters 100%. A woman can pair bond best with her first man to whom she GIFTS the pain of her virginity to.
Your husband is painting it incorrectly as women throwing themselves at him as if he was a victim 🤣 you both need to accept he pursued those women also as it takes two to tango. It's normal. You both lived a life before you met one another. What happens after you both met is more important than before
@@hashgnome9326 What happened before is way more important because it decides what happens later. A woman's history is 100% an indicator of her future.
If you weren't her first, you won't be her last.
@@SodiumSyndicate lol you must be 12 😂 no wonder this generation is sexless and miserable
Don’t reply to these comments girl. The guys in these comments are wild and don’t live in reality. Hope you and your husband are doing well :)
Very very solid video. Quickly becoming one of my favorite commentary channels.
Most big channels that talk about these issues get the views they do by trying to be as antagonistic as possible. I love when a channel can take a charitable approach to a serious topic, and I love it when people can make an admission that they may be wrong about a subject.
These two forms of humility are rarely portrayed nowadays, and its extremely refreshing to see somebody that isnt propping their ideas up as "the truth," but rather just an open and honest discussion. Very good stuff, keep it up!
Great video. For a while now, I have been thinking to myself that the sexual revolution has popularized dysfunction. A lot of men and women who participate in hook up culture are arguing with, blaming, slandering, and shaming the opposite sex when "it takes 2 to tango".
Being a teenager in the 2000’s seems almost alien by todays standards. I was one of those almost stereotypical male virgins who got torn into by his guy friends who had lost their virginity. Now out of my main circle of teenage friends, I’m the only one settled down with a wife and kids! There is little chance hookups would’ve blessed me with what I have now.
I was still a virgin at turning 20. I ended up losing it in a hookup, partly as a way of getting people off my back. Soon after I met the young lady who went on to become my wife. With the ‘embarrassing’
virgin label gone, I was relaxed and didn’t rush her into anything. We were together for 4 months before we got as far as foreplay. Then a further two months went by before she lost her virginity to me. We’ve been together for over 10 years and have two children. I find that being in this situation, knowing that I’m settled with a beautiful family, I go out with a relaxed attitude. It seems to me that when you look as if you’re not interested in women, they find it attractive. I’ve had opportunities to be with other women since getting married, but it is a tempting trap. Although it would’ve been good in the heat of the moment, I know that cheating has the potential to ruin what I have. A long lasting and fulfilling relationship, which can last a lifetime. That seems to be an increasingly rare thing these days
I was a teen in the 2010s, the whole idea of virginity to me is kinda outdated and socially construed. I just noticed you saying "we got as far as foreplay. Then a further two months went by before she lost her virginity to me." Obviously, I'm not in any place to tell others what to do or believe, but I count foreplay as sex too
ngl I'm just very impressed with how well thought out and informed she is while making every point. every point where I would raise an eyebrow or question something it was as though she would respond right after with a better explanation. nothing was dragged out nothing was opinionated just well researched and overall a great watch never watched ya before but I'm definitely going to check out some more now
I love it when young ladies like you are so well spoken!! ❤
Yep she intelligent
*you're happy she doesn't have a roadman accent
This was a very interesting take, as I (A man) has never seen the hookup culture as something positive or as something that benefits me. I have no trouble dating, but I've never been interested in casual sex. I've always wanted to find a partner to settle down with, but I believe hookup culture makes this difficult.
The very fact if you're a man you're not interested in casual sex is already something that society believes is weird. Somehow people (especially other men) always think I'm weird for saying I desire love over sex
I'm a young woman who thinks the same
@@jdv4623 thats because the west is hypersexualized.
To reinforce something you said, as you get older you get set in your ways. If you're single and then get in a relationship in your late 40's or 50's, changing your lifestyle completely can be a major challenge. It takes a very strong relationship to overcome that.
As a dude, I've hooked up a couple of times but my most recent one made me feel absolutely miserable. The desire to find who loves you for who you are not just for sex grew on me and that shit hurts lol.
Felt the exact same way after my last one too…..just that hamster wheel of constantly chasing it, and then once you get it you’re like “why did I even do this to begin with.”
Never had a real relationship before, but after doing this hookup BS enough times I’d much rather give that a shot than going down the casual route again anytime soon.
Bro this shit speaks to me so much, it's fucking rough out here
Last time i had casual sex it was so boring.. for me i need emotions but i never yet had feelings for a girl and then had sex with her😊
Yes, being Rich and no one to adore you hurts even more. When you realize they don't love you for who you are, and there's no genuine connection
All my friends had a hook up phase. All of them speak on how they regret it. I wish more people would admit this to themselves.
I am a 23 year old Christian man waiting for marriage. I am working everyday to improve myself as a man hoping to find my queen one day and I will never give in to any temptations :). Thanks for making this video
I just stumbled across your channel and I'm so grateful for it.
A little bit about me: I'm a 25 year old man, and I used to participate in this hookup culture. At the time it was fun, and due to a lot of bullying and ostracism throughout my childhood, it felt liberating. It felt like a middle finger to my past.
I was, and still am someone that fits the "15%" but I've been in a committed relationship with a great woman for 3.5 years now.
Let me tell you though, there are some scars that just will not go away because of my history. And I had no idea they were there until recently.
Monogamy is a great thing, gents. Don't sneer at it. Cherish it.
My brother is black pilled and it’s sad watching this in front of own face. This vid puts everything I needed into words. I just hope that other 85% of men find hope
The worst part is you can’t change their mindset bc they’re so set on it. They think all women are the same.
I’ve tried tinder once when I was single and I realised after few minutes using it that I prefer normal social life…
Like, catching someone’s eyes by mistake in a club/pub/party, thinking if they like you back, thinking how to talk to them, if and how to talk to them again or if to just go with the flow and see what happens, having somebody being introduced to you and start talking, to realise you like that person and vice versa, feeling the chemistry in the blood system, flirting, oh gosh, that has been so exiting!
Now I’m happily married…
And we’ve met randomly, in a park while playing cricket…
Life can be so exciting….
These are the real memories of life…
Same thing for friendships, my best friendships were born randomly: talking, sometimes even by mistake, not instantly liking each others, etc 😂
but thinking about it, if I was in the past when I was single, I would definitely go out there and just live life like before social media, I think it’s more real and exciting!
It feels great to feel real emotions, feeling the moment of life.
However I don’t deny that some apps can be useful for people who are really shy or have problems with going out. :)
Online dating is such for people to get external validation now. Women seem to graduate to bumble at 25 now once their looks fade and start pretending they are sophisticated but in reality have no idea how to form a relationship after all the hookups and 1000s of matches going to their head.
Feel sorry for whoever you're married to, to be on this kind of video, talking about those kind of experiences...are you sure you ain't planning on leaving
@@Letizia2810 You called me a 'beach'? I am a human being, not a 'beach', thank you. Okay fine, you go on videos, click and give your opinion. That's all fine. You don't need to prove to anyone that you're with your husband to let them know that you love and are faithful to him, that's between you and him, who cares what some random stranger on the internet thinks about someone they don't even know, right? Well it's a damn shame you cared so much about what I said that you felt the need to mention that you are with your husband who is buying drinks for you as we speak. I will learn not to pay any mind to anyone's criticism, I will explain if I think it could help them and ignore them if it's not going to make anything better. You need to have stronger faith in your love for him and this marriage not to be so easily shaken. You are free to comment on UA-cam videos, people will interpret them in a certain way and it's up to you how you respond, whether right or wrong.
So you say that I should try to be more reasonable so that I won't scare women away...you mean to tell me my comment scared you?? Why should you be scared of a harmless comment like that??? The worst thing said in that comment is that I may have it wrong about your marriage and your intention of writing your comment, people makes comments like that all the time on every thread. So did I scare you? Why should I worry about whether I scare women or not if I'm only making an comment which does not cause any intention to harm and why is what I said even considered 'scary' at all? And you don't even know my sexuality, do you not know that I am not straight? So romantic relationships with women are way down the list for me...like right at the very bottom. You got me completely wrong with your reply. Nice one. Goes to show that we still misunderstand each other and make far too many assumptions based on the comments we make. You assumed that I even cared about being with women. I don't. I of course assumed that you may not have been as faithful to your husband...well there is some truth to why I made that comment because of how yours came across, if you didn't feel so insecure about it you wouldn't have even needed to tell me that you were with your husband at this very moment in time...all you had to do was say that what I said was not true, you are faithful and love your husband very much, I would have taken your word for it. You don't have to be with the man 24/7 to prove that you aren't going to cheat on him but even this isn't a guarantee, nobody knows what the future holds...even the most faithful couples and marriages have broken down, even some of the rockiest relationships and marriages with infidelity still manage to stay together. You can't be so quick to judge like you have in your reply to my comment.
I swear traditional dating lasts for a reason. Not many are dating or making connections right and it’s a shame. I want someone sensible for me since I know I deserve someone good. Never in my life took part in that culture and I hope my future partner never will either.
@@codesm96 perhaps they are jsut interest on what’s happening for single people same as me. I’m married to but I’m fascinated by those who aren’t and seeing how the other side copes with single hood lol
I'm probably going to be attacked for saying this but I think Only Fans is modern day prostitution.
It is and so is porn industry.
I really like your content! Great videos on both the effects of the hook-up culture on men and women. And there' a huge misconception that it's only women that have less options as they grow older, but men face that too, unless they have money. But having options based on money does make one question if the connection is genuine or is it for financial benefit.
obviously its bad for men lmao.
Most men don't get many women. It's hard for men to have options. This cultures makes everything worse, especially for men sho don't want hoes.
Religion and Islam are the only things speaking about this
Man... I've been tired of hookup culture for years and ended up becoming very depressed because of it. Great vid. I've been trying to find someone to settle down with for 5 years now.
Every girl I've met so far is either.. 1.) Looking for a fling to get over their fucc boi ex. 2.) Emotionally unavailable. 3.) Apart of hookup culture and won't admit they are.
I've stopped using dating apps altogether. Due to my line of work, it's hard to meet people. I don't even know where I could meet people nor where to begin. Sigh...
Where do you work bro?
She's both right and wrong. Right that hookup culture is hurting us and that there are so many guys paying OnlyFans and the other chicks nowadays, but it's not as cut-and-dried as that. She is still pretending, like others who try to explain the Lonely Male phenomenon, that the lonely male exists more than the lonely female, which is not true.
Lonely, single women who are angry and depressed about not being able to find a man are prevalent, and many of these women still feel lonely in their relationship. The difference is that women want to keep the spotlight only on these lonely males because they don't want their loneliness to appear worse than those guys. Reason being that women obsess over being the desired ones who get attention, and enjoy all the talk, ideas, and image of being the gender who can "always get a date" or "always find sex." And they enjoy that men are angry and depressed about it.
She also is trying to make it as if hooking up is men's fault and that so many women out there are helplessly giving in to casual sex because it means maybe the guy will eventually love her. Tons of women hook up with guys who are the ones that catch feelings, but she doesn't want a relationship and so they will ghost these guys. I've even known women personally who've admitted that to me. You have just as many females wanting and enjoying hook up life for exactly what it is and nothing more just like the guys.
Overall her view is still intelligent in that hook up culture is decadent and has degraded our society, but it's still not entirely balanced in regards to females' willfullness in it.
She covers what you’re saying in her video for females
@@venturatheace1 Send a link?
Honestly I had no expectations coming into this video, it’s amazed me how educated she is on these topics and I’ve been taught something I genuinely didn’t know much about on the mens side of things without speaking with bias. 👍
EXACTLY! She definitely has one of the best explanations of the dating scene I've seen online.
I have no idea why this popped up in my feed, but I have to say that, as a person who's completely outside hookup culture (I've been in a long term relationship years prior tinder and dating apps in general), this was very interesting and insightful.
Well done!
I am a male and I genuinely want a trusting relationship with a kind hearted woman. I have been offered hookups before, but always declined. I have suffered trauma in my past and there's no way I'd put any sexual trust in someone I've just met. It is a shame that people want to sleep around more and more, but I'll hold out hope that someday I can have an old-fashioned relationship.
Same👊
Same. Remember back then where people would be with the same lover and have 10 kids with the same lover? The society change it because they want people to be that dumb and thanks to tik tok social media that work. Mostly because the people let it happen. My ex of 3 years broke up with me just to find out she hooked up with the same dude we had problems with. That was 8-9 months ago and they still hookup till this day but he never claim her as his girlfriend just for fun.
You're not going to find that with American women anymore. If you want a woman like that you're going to have to find one from Thailand or better Filipino women. They're raised to not have sex before marriage and instilled values of raising a family and treating their man correctly. That is why men from Sweden don't marry Swedish women and marry Thai women now because Swedish women are not marriage material. They're even trying to ban Swedish men from marrying Thai women because the feminists don't like that their men don't want them and can't stand seeing them in a happy marriage while they're alone.
@@smokestrong1000 That’s pretty dumb. Not allow to have freedom into picking your own lover? Yes I agree most American women just follow what their friends say,media says, and Tik tok. I was really hoping trump would actually ban Tik tok because it just ruins young people brains. I’m 17 my ex girlfriend broke off with me and hooked up with another guy quickly. She never thought this way until she met new people new groups.
@@mrbutcracker7510 That's 99 percent of American women or western women. They are not marriage material. If you want a woman that won't leave you or cheat get a woman that's deeply involved in religion and doesn't engage in prematerial sex. They will love you and never leave you. This is why filipino women make great wives is because almost all them won't have sex until marriage. I know ones in their 30s and still haven't even kissed a guy.
In my 20s, I was one of those guys. I am now in my mid-50s, and I am a divorced single dad. I am sure I am now 'paying' for my past transgressions. I have an adult son, and a daughter both are in college, and we have conversations about how the hook-up culture isn't a good thing. There were several times in my life when I could've had a real connection with someone, but I was an idiot!
I admire that you take that accountability and have the discussion with your adult children. Kudos to you sharing your life experience and having these talks with your kids. I think our generations have it even worse because of the social media hook up culture and instant gratification which helps fuel casual no real connection dating app and infidelity with so many options making it so much easier to cheat. Back in the day the older generation courted and met significant others from normal means like friends, family, school, and work.
Just curious, why didnt u pursue u the real connection?
Amazing most men would never say that. Age and kids really changes people for the better. ❤️
@@nora6984 that proverbial ship has sailed sadly, those women, and i’m happy for them have husbands and family’s of their own.
@@rachelreii5952 I can only hope and pray that for my sake and as an example for my children, that I have changed. :-)