Been fighting against a freeze response as a result of overwhelming anxiety and too much processing and searching for solutions- survival is exhausting
Like trying to find our way out of a maze with so many wrong turns and dead ends. It would help everyone a lot if there was still an American middle class
@@petyabor5223 you can allow a little time to recognize when you are freezing and instead of kicking yourself when you are down , and if you are freezing ,‘you are under a lot , you can be kind, since you aren’t going to overcome a huge chunk of work, accept that and take a break - protect and defend yourself- know that you are just as in need of a break as if you had a fever or other illness - so defend yourself if being blamed by outsiders - after some time of rest , distraction , or connection with friends , try to see if you can make a short attempt again to achieve getting something done - things are still hard, it’s an uphill battle , but☮️, one that I am still in to fight another day - with prayer 🙏
@@petyabor5223 hope you are ok- really, there has come a point where k have had to learn to choose a little courage in the face of fire- I’m learning that I must slowly break my freeze response, or at least not stop living in spite of it- it’s not a perfect situation, and it’s not overnight, but the science of human nature is that when we choose to procrastinate, that habit is reinforced, and the next time we are uncomfortable, we choose more readily to procrastinate, but that the same works for when we choose to act in spite of our fear and hesitation , even in a small way , take some kind of action - if need be, break it down into bite size pieces- and if you are unable to take the small step, make the apple to again, bc what happens is that the next time a situation comes about, we find it more natural to go into action, and face the situation , vs inaction and hiding . Lastly, sometimes we can look at things and accept that ok, if where we are is bad, how bad can it be? Is it truly the worst imaginable? Even if it is, there is no way up but better from here .
When that happens to me, I just do my best to think of what is most important at that time and do that first. Usually the other things just follow after naturally.
That’s when I have to make a list. I try to order it with the most important thing first and start there. But sometimes that particular task seems too hard. So I pick something else until I get a few small things done. Once I feel a sense of success, I feel more confident and have more energy to tackle the more important or more complicated tasks.
@@visionvixxenyes, the wheels are turning in my head finally. Covid created the perfect trigger for me to just feel so helpless and frozen. Even now, 4 freaking years later.
For anyone reading this, I am genuinely sorry as it’s real, a fear response, being stuck, doubting yourself, your decisions. Procrastination, self-sabotage bc you are frozen in a trauma response, shut down. You can give up or fight your way through. And it’s not easy to come out the other end. Other people will think you are unmotivated, procrastinator, lazy, can’t manage your time. Things or situations may set you back, spiraling. You are in flight or fight, hyper vigilant, awaiting catastrophe. There is help. However, things begin to improve when you think of “small rewards”. Be kind to yourself. Start small. For example, start making your bed every single morning. Establish a bit of more order every day. Social media is NOT your friend. Force yourself to get into nature. Become more grounded, stop with the idiot shows on TV. Make a new approach, define your life. Make motivating play lists. Make and keep a lunch or dinner date with a friend. Practice self-care, do a spa day at home with a friend. Just don’t give up.
Thank you for the tips to accomplishing small goals. I have experienced this sadly most of my life. I am currently in therapy and wanting to learn more about myself and why I am doing the thing's I am. Being kind and patient with ourselves during this time is so important ❤I wish everyone healing and recovery ❤
I have had to listen to this three times before I can absorb it all. My attention span is super short and I don’t know if that is just a symptom of a freeze response or my adhd. sigh
Im basically not doing anything other than sleeping, watching netflix and making plans on my notebook like morning routines that I literally never properly start or have ever finished. I want to be this person but somehow whenever I need to do something productive I get super sleepy and I end up taking a nap or watch tv again and its making me even more tired. Its ridiculous honestly. and on top of that, most things that I do, I cannot do for long until I get extremely exhausted. even writing this and looking at comments its like my eyes REALLY need to be closed but at the same time Im pushing through I can't explain it properly but its awful
"A body at motion tends to stay in motion... a body at rest tends to stay at rest." I repeat this quote to myself to get going and keep the momentum. Remember, it's rewarding, even though its hard sometimes to get movin'
yeah the whole process of looking is so exhausting, i feel like I've just given up and can't do it anymore. I'll probably snap out of this eventually but I'm not sure what it's gonna take.
Seek a case manager with social services and say you need resources to help with your papers, tasks, and your homelessness situation before you get there. Walk into a hospital and ask as well. If you need more info, I'll help, just let me know. God bless and good luck.
Me too ❤ I couldn’t figure out why. I can look at job listings but the resume part is what’s killing me because I have to start over. And then seeing that even entry level positions are asking for 2-3 yrs of experience is just really disappointing
Kinda feel like 2020 messed us all up but we all had to get back to regularly scheduled programming without addressing anything. Thanks for this video.
i used to be a super productive person, i would use work as a defense mechanism and so on. last year a bunch of traumatic big life things happened all together and sent me into a period of depression which im still slowly coming out of (hopefully). but one thing i've learned is to never ever think anyone is "lazy" again. i've learned that productivity in itself is a capitalistic value and although useful and necessary to navigate life, not an indicator of who we are. i think productivity should be a byproduct of a balanced, healthy mind. this video was very interesting, i dont doomscroll but i do find my self in this frozen state very often. thank you
Sometimes freezing IS a good-health strategy. Sometimes you need to sit with yourself to understand what's really happening, how you feel about it, what you want to keep and what to toss, what your new goals are, and what steps to take to make everything come out like you want it to---the best you can manage, which is _good enough._
same here last year was pretty traumatic for me it was the first time i actually experienced depression and am slowly collecting myself little by little one step at a time
i’ll never forget when I was called lazy. boy oh boy, that honestly hurt me bc of how I found out & also bc i knew it wasn’t laziness, but depression (i was trying to convince myself I wasn’t depressed) & being extremely unmotivated, which to me is way harder to overcome than laziness.
THIS VIDEO!!! OMG!!! I’ve spent thirty years in the freeze response shaming myself, full of fear, knowing I’m not lazy but hitting a brick wall, wading through mud when it comes to the most simplest of things. I’ve literally watched thousands of YT videos trying to find answers and you have just helped me to understand so much about myself. I KNEW that my terrible childhood traumas played a role in why I behave the way I do. The most easy life obstacles can sometimes seem to be the most difficult when I see other folk just getting on without even an apparent thought. I now have answers….I could cry. Thank you…THANK YOU! Best wishes from the UK. 😊
It's trying to escape from the negatives of your reality..Yes traumas, Depression, feeling unmotivated, worthless, no purpose. Stalling moving forward, because you keep getting set back everytime you try... Living life vicariously through others, while avoiding your own..😢
Go for a walk if you're stuck. Don't have to go far - just do it for at least 5 minutes. Those 5 minutes were better than being stuck/miserable, yes? Congratulations, that was a first step. That's it for the day. Every day, just do tiny little steps, because each step takes you further away from the bad places. Steps like: See a psych or a therapist, fix your diet, do some exercise, talk to a friend - gradually and slowly. Stop comparing yourself to others - you're only seeing their highlight reel. Nobody posts their shit day.
Meaning is a subjective man-made construct which allows us to systematize abstract reality no more real than Santa Claus itself. How can you find meaning if meaning is an entirely man-made construct? It's a creation of perception, no?
"your nervous system is just as much dysregulated in the freeze response as in the fight or flight response." YO, WHAT!!! we are not talking about this enough!!
i have never felt more seen. i feel so burnt out, and all i can do is sleep, if i do anything the output vs input ratio is crazy. The guilt and shame is overwhelming.Trying to explain it feels impossible. But having someone else verbalise how i've been feeling feels like someone grabbing a strap of a heavy shopping bag to lighten the load while walking home. The bag and contents are still there, still need to be but away and sorted, the strain of the weight can still be felt, but at least i might make it home now that i'm not carrying it alone. Thank you
wow, reading your comment I am realizing that I was in the same situation not too long ago. I'm not completely free now, but I'm doing so much better than I imagined I could be. Don't beat yourself up for your situation. Really. It's not your fault, and forgiving yourself is a crucial step towards healing. I hope you can be brave enough/feel safe enough to start releasing that shame and being curious about yourself instead. 💚🌱
15 years ago, I had a therapist who also said, it is a form of c-PTSD, or complex post traumatic stress response. Her points agreed with everything you have said, the nervous system is dysregulated. The window of tolerance shrinks. She also mentioned that allowing a spirit of curiosity will allow a fear-free, shame-free environment to relax and just experiment. Great video, thank you!
Me too. Weirdly I can't repeat back to you hardly anything that she said except for red colour at the top, blue at the bottom and having some tangy gums near your bed!
Honestly this video made me cry cause i finally heard somebody explain what i've been struggling with for so long. I somehow was never able to put it in words really. I usually try by saying that i feel paralysed but in the most normal situations like when i have to clean up my room. People don't understand if they haven't experienced it
I describe it to my bf as being on low power mode, majority of my normal brain function has shut down. Sometimes I have just enough to go through the motions of stuff like emptying the dish washer but I'm not all there, like I'm a robot or something.
I cleaned my room today after being sick for a week and handing in my research proposal. I’m honestly very proud of myself 💓 EDIT: Dude I’m just seeing these supportive comments, thank you sm!💓 Hope y’all are doing well too!!
For me it’s because my bed reading manga or watching videos is comfortable, and the rest of the world is so tough. I found that finally getting on meds it’s easier to face the world.
I have been dealing with this and it scares the shxt out of me. I called up my insurance provider looking for a therapist and found out that there are programs for people dealing with emotional issues. I signed up for one that basically retrains you on basic things like getting enough rest, setting simple goals, dealing with my feelings..etc. There are online classes and even physical classes at the community center. It seems really extreme for me, but I KNOW this is not the way my life is supposed to make me feel. I feel like I am taking a really good first step, and I am glad that I found a source of support I didn’t even know existed before yesterday. Good luck to anyone dealing with this. Don’t be ashamed to reach out. Life is too short.❤️🔥
It’s crazy because as I’ve worked with/through depression & ptsd, now that I have all these tools, I’m left with the freeze. My biggest advice to anyone who is struggling-in general-and finds themselves in the freeze is to be gentle with yourself while trying to redirect from unhealthy coping mechanisms.
That’s me now after huge scare and emotional traumas , illness , anxiety and overwhelmed. Pushing through is like swimming in sand . I can’t wait to get to calm safe waters !
Yes. I feel the same way as soon as I get home. To my apartment, I go straight into a freeze mode.. I'm definitely looking forward to changing my environment. I feel a fresh new start will make all the difference.
@brendalg4 @brendalg4 sorry to hear you have that Brenda, I also have chronic fatigue and fibro. If you havent looked into it already B1 thiamine can be helpful. I watch lots of content of adhd to help "hack" the symptoms of it I really like ADHD love, hayley honeyman, adhd chatter podcast. NAC supplement has also been found to help adhd symptoms. Take care x
@irenawilson1572 hi, it's very similar to freeze response. This quote sums it up well, " One lesser-known aspect of ADHD that many individuals struggle with is ADHD paralysis. ADHD paralysis, also known as executive dysfunction or task paralysis, refers to the inability to initiate, complete, or sustain tasks due to overwhelming feelings of anxiety, stress, or mental fatigue" it feels like even though you might have the physical energy to do the task ...you just can't. ADHD mental paralysis. A state of overwhelm from too many converging thoughts and emotions. It may make it challenging to speak, move, or convey what’s going on in your mind at the moment. ADHD task paralysis. A freeze in motivation may result in procrastination and task avoidance, brought on by a looming to-do list. ADHD choice paralysis. Also known as analysis paralysis, this is a sense of overwhelm related to too many choices or the need to make a decision.. its really hard just being a human sometimes 😂
@charlieb9144 ADHD doesn't exist. It's just propaganda for the pharmaceutical industry. There's nothing wrong with you. There's something deeply wrong with our manufactured society.
I'm guilty. After my husband passed a few months ago I lost my will to go through a day. I stay online and my phone is on UA-cam on a playlist all night.... just so I can hear talking. It breaks the now dead silence
I'm sorry to hear about your husband. I lost mine in September. Every night is the same thing after I put our son to bed... I go on the couch and look at videos on UA-cam or play games. Last night I deleted all games from my phone so I just spent hours looking at UA-cam. I realized it's just me turning my brain off. I don't have to sit with the fact that my guy is gone and never coming back.
I'm sorry for your loss. I, too, lost my husband-Covid 10/21. I binge watch YT and Netflix series. The day he died, so did I. Trying to wake up to a new world.
I hope you're joking bro... Otherwise you might wanna check in with a mental health specialist... Although yeah, these algorithms do seem clever like that
I'm broken in every single way, including that described in this video. However I'm also so numb I can't even explain to myself what could possibly have broken me. I'm just... gone.
I know that walking through mud feeling all too well. I even regularly have dreams that I can't run or can't scream or cant figure out how to overcome an obstacle, like I've been put into super slow motion. Thank you.
I had 2 traumatic births within 2 years of each other and I still remember the very moment when my body and mind shut down the fight was completely gone from me! And my 2 kids trigger me daily with their big emotions 😢 i can literally feel it in my body to where i have to lay down and cant get out of bed! Its a struggle and hard to explain to anyone! Im still trying for though
I pray you get some help. Please read what you wrote here to your primary doctor or gynecologist. You have serious complex case of postpartum syndrome. You need counseling possibly meds and most definitely a support system for your children. Blessings
This happened to me after the traumatic birth of my son. I couldn't really explain what was going on internally, but I felt like absolutely everything in my life was in chaos, and I just couldn't handle the stress. My anxiety and depression were crippling. I was completely fried. I regularly had days where I was so triggered by my little guy, and I had to withdraw from the world so that I didn't do something I would regret. Three years and an abusive ex later, I realized that I was experiencing serious PPD, on top of having major depression stemming from SA and resulting PTSD from those experiences, as well as from growing up with a grandiose narcissist. Talk about eff'd up.
This is me. I had a job I loved and got bullied so bad I feel broken. Im grateful I have found a new job but it pays 1/2 my old job...so times off. I feel stalled. Frozen
The same thing happened to me. I was ostracized from a whole community for speaking the truth. Trying to rebuild. Hopefully we will learn from the experience ❤
This makes so much sense. I used to be an avid reader when I was younger. I used to write poetry when I was younger. I was really creative when I was younger. However, I went through a lot as a young kid and now that I am 27. My motivation is not strong. I get overwhemled so easily and I'm just like...what happened? This makes so.much sense. Thank you ❤
Me too girl. I've been trying to hard to get in touch with that part of myself but I just can't. Hope you're able to heal and overcome. The world needs your story 🤎
I think these are unprecedented times. Wars, disasters, bad news everywhere. It’s in our face all day, and then PTSD or depression kicks in. I think we’re all walking around feeling numb and even guilty. I call it despondence. It’s okay to grieve over the world we once knew.
Same girl. I used to play the guitar, wrote songs, sing, play with makeup…went to school full time and worked full time with a baby. Now I feel like I don’t even want to get out of bed. It sucks and is exhausting. I’m starting to get horrible panic attacks to the point my speech is slurred and my joints won’t move. It’s scary. This is an awesome video!
I recently went to therapy and was diagnosed with depression and CPTSD. I've been battling both undiagnosed for almost a decade. Every day has been a freeze reaponse for me as all i think about is how I want my old, happy self back but at the same time lamenting all the time I wasted. Simone what you are saying has helped me so much. I bet you are a great therapist and you are a gem.
I've been in this state since a teen, been frozen since then, to the point where my body broke and ended up in the hospital diagnosed with systemic lupus. Been a struggle ever since. I can't seem to be able to do every day things and when I do I feel like it's exhausting in my world but to THE world is just making a bed and washing the dishes. 🤷 (Just an example).
This was me from college until about age 31 when I finally started traveling overseas, living out in nature whenever possible, and never, ever, ever having roommates, no matter the cost. Getting a dog also forces one to get up and go outside for at least 10 mins every morning, rain or shine, feel like it or not, unless you want to have to clean up a mess in the house when you do get up. I tend to find that the marginal overwhelm I experience now that I've made the above lifestyle adjustments can be counteracted by walking with the dog, breathing fresh air, getting some sun in my eyes. I still have the potential for that 'stuck in freeze' space, because I had a traumatic childhood and those memories sometimes get triggered. Being able to manage our equilibrium, as we shift this way and that from day to day, is such an important skill to build. My 'sour candies' is spraying a citrus perfume on my wrists.
Baby steps are your best friend in this case. That’s what I have been doing to get stuff done and it’s been a life changer. And when I say baby steps I literally mean baby steps. It doesn’t matter how small the step is. Once you do it, reward yourself and do it again tomorrow until it becomes a habit that you can not not do. Then on to the next baby step. It won’t be easy because it will feel like you’re doing nothing but that’s where the break through is, in those baby steps. You don’t do it today, it’s okay, do it tomorrow or do it now. And if stills too big, make it even smaller. Wash, rinse and repeat
@@Jwardell92 you got this 🔥🔥🔥 define what baby steps look like for you. Even though they may mean well, don’t let anyone else tell you what “YOUR” baby steps should be.
My take on this. We have been taught to people please, and work hard which isn't always a good thing. It does us good to switch off our logical and emotional brain, its our body's way of saying we need to slow down. Taking that time to switch off is a good thing, we can't keep going at full speed and pushing ourselves all the time. Our body needs rest and our mind needs rest. Societal expectations are the most toxic expectations anyone can live up to. The laundry will always be there, it will be there tomorrow. take a breather and smell the roses. Stress is a killer and we are responsible for most of our stress, in as much as we put too much pressure on ourselves to live up to unrealistic expectations
Yes! I love your response. This is how I've been feeling. I just need to listen to my body. Stop, slow down and don't feel guilty about what needs to get done. It will get done in due time.
Seriously this is me…had a financial downfall at the same time i was grieving over people close to me dying… i was frozen. I shut down and ended up getting evicted. Now im slowly picking myself up, thankful for my family that sheltered me and doing things one step at a time to get back up
this is so crazy that this popped up in my recommended because I was put in one of my worst episodes of this last night. I was sitting on the couch and I just couldn’t do *anything.* I didn’t even want to mindlessly watch tv or be on my phone. I barely felt the strength to HOLD my phone, but I also wasn’t tired enough to nap. It’s almost like I just didn’t want to be, at all. It was dinnertime too so I knew I was hungry, but I just couldn’t bring myself to get up and walk a few feet to the kitchen. I cried when my mom warmed up some food and brought it out for me bc I felt so stupid that I couldn’t get up and ik she’s grieving too.
Jesus literally ordered my steps to this video. I've been scrolling for days barely putting down my phone to meet a deadline. Thank you so much for sharing.
The last 5 years has been one thing after another. My only grandchild almost died, then the next year had to have brain surgery and we found out his pituitary gland is dead which meant a solid year of trying to get him healthy and regulated, then my husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer and it's inoperable, then last year he was hospitalized twice almost dying both times and finally, my daughter and grandson moved out, which is GREAT for them but I am still struggling with it a year later. There's still stuff they left here and it's been over a year. I am stuck. I'm chronically exhausted and I just can't get motivated. I do the bare minimum. I don't know how much longer I can do this.
I’ve suffered from this my entire life, regardless of achievements, that people tell me are good. for the most part, my thought processes ruined by being afraid of everything. Excellent video.
Doing something physical and seeing how u feel on the other side is proof Ive been in freeze wayyyy too long. Wow! Im going to get exercising again! Ive been fighting myself WAY too long and Im 99% certain this will be an ultimate key. Thank u so much!
exactly I jogged for 30s and nearly fainted! Yet I didn’t gain any weight over this time period..only about 10lb difference. But no one can tell that I look different, so that doesn’t help freeze mode either. You look the same & still look good on the outside, but a corpse on the inside. I’m praying we all make it🎉 The only way to move forward is to jump out there
@@visionvixxenSo much!!!! I had maaaDd anxiety because of it. All that energy with nowhere to go! I FINALLY went to the gym the other day. 😮🎉 Let us ALL remember that even the smallest baby step takes you FORWARD!!!!! ❤
It’s currently 1.30 am in the uk and I’ve just watched this video. I just want to say Thankyou. You have no idea how much I needed this message, I’m in tears. Thankyou. ❤️
Tonight, it’s 1.30am in the UK for me too. I’m watching this video and feeling a bit better to know it’s not just me being lazy when I’m feeling like that sometimes.
"I actually don't feel safe right now" - that was so good to hear, that it can be put into words, and to not only hear that "lazy, bad etc." which usually goes on repeat. Thank you!
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.porassss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
I’ve been feeling like that the last two weeks. I waste hours just sitting on my bed in the morning (scrolling on my phone) and then it’s ‘too late’ to go to the gym etc. I get hungry for food while I’m sitting there, but I can’t even get off the bed to grab something to eat. I’ve been having a spondylitis flareup for a few weeks. I’m thinking this may be the cause or a part of it. Or maybe I just don’t want to hold myself together anymore. It’s all tiring.
I experienced significant burnout and ended up in freeze response but managed to still be somewhat productive (thank God). Thank you for elaborating, I thought I was just lazy.
Omg ever since quarantine i have been doing literally nothing with my life. I completely abandoded studying. I was once one of the best students, but now I'm a freshman in highschool and keep getting Cs and Ds. My screentime is honestly CRITICAL, my brain feels like its ROTTING and I'm always tired. I just can't live properly anymore. Life feels tiring every single day, nothing is interesting, my attention span is shorter everyday. Also I can't even sleep till 3-4am because my brain is telling me to scroll on tiktok till i faint. I honestly feel like I'm decaying at 15.
I definitely understand what you’re feeling. I feel like quarantine really f me up too. I’ve always had bad anxiety but something during that time just triggered it even more. I literally can’t even keep a job because of my anxiety. Hoping it will get better for the both of us 🫶🏽
She described what I've been experiencing for quite some time now. I saught counseling twice, which didn't do a darn thing for me. This video popped up in my feed today and brought tears to my eyes, it is all about me. I'd always been great at what I do, hard worker, very proactive, and a go getter until a first time job loss in 2006 when the economy started to collasp, I exercised 7 days a week and was always on the go. I've just not been able to get it together since then. Everything has just changed. And yes, I had a lot of childhood trauma. Thank you for putting a name to what this is. It's like I know exactly what I need to do and constantly am talking it over in my head, then I approach it then just stop and start thinking about how my life has turned out compared to others and day dreaming and sometimes I may not get back to what I was working on for a year or more. PS, I'm still laying in bed right now on my eyepad at 2:19 in the afternoon whe I know I should be finishing rewriting my resume ( haven't been able to get a job in years) , cleaning my house (I need a new roof, but won't call cause I need them to see the damage inside the house also), or exercising ( I've gone from 130 to 207lbs). I feel stuck!
How to get out of the frozen zone: 1. Get curious about when it happens 2. Need more activation, so experiment - go for a walk, sth physical (stretching, moving your body...) 3. Sour candy at hand 4. Call it out - when you find yourself in this mode ,acknowledge it *Apart from the previous: get to the root of it (through therapy, for example)
Thank you. Once again, fear comes in when I go into a freeze response. Rightly so, I have CPTSD. Gotten better in lots of ways, but each time I get that low energy, and the ‘should be doing this and that’ dullness sets in instead. Binge watching etc. I am scared this will last all winter. Thank you for reminding me to give myself permission. Name it properly and not with guilt. I will be ok. 😊
I don't want to sound dramatic, but this is honestly life-changing. I've spent years working with different therapists and never gotten as much clarity on what's going on with me than I have from this video. THANK YOU!
Interesting take with the sour candy. As a child, sour candy was my absolute fav. The more sour the better. Having not so nice parents, it was probably my kind of self soothing to be "in the present"
This is the first educational video in a while that I’ve stopped to listen to it all the way through. I saw that it was ten minutes and committed to listening to it without closing the app, or switching to another. I’m proud of myself and I’m glad this was the video I watched!
This was spectacular. Thank you! I’ve been doing therapy and inner work for years but still didn’t know why I often say, stay up late even though I’m tired.
Thank you, Kelly Rowland! I mean, thank you, Simone, this was the best explanation of freez response I've ever heard and I listened to ALOTTA materials. Every sentence is a gem, every insight on point and felt through. I suggest not to rely on hacks but really do the work, because, if you don't do the work in your 20's, it will catch you in your 40's.
Usually what happens is that I don't get anything done and then my parents come in and throw a fit, so now I'm finally trying to learn how to do things *before* they get home , and my secret weapon has been playing music to unstick myself
You definitely are an excellent therapist, one of a kind, you speak to youngesters and to the less young equally impactfully. This speaks to me one of your less young viewers more than dozens I have listened to over the last twelve months. Good job and thank you.
Thank you sooo much for this video. I have a dear friend who's been suffering with deep deep trauma, CCPTSD, panic, anxiety from decades of horrific spousal abuse. Yours has been the best explanation of these bodily behaviors ever. We both love the West (lucky you!) but wish you were more East for help. We've found the mental health community in Ontario is just $$$$/pharma driven and has no clue how to even articulate what you just explained. This vid's been a blessing for the knowledge. :)
I have had days where I was angry that I actually woke up because I had to face another day of doing nothing. Today however was a good day and while watching this video I pressed stop and did my dishes, cleaned my microwave and sat out in the sun for 5 minutes and now I am trying to reward myself with a pat on the back to retrain my brain. It's a daily struggle but even the smallest of tasks should be rewarded with crazy, stupendous joy to get a little dopamine back into our systems. I wish everyone hope, understanding and know that you are not alone. We can get through this and live better lives one small step at a time.
This was such a helpful explanation for something that I regularly struggle with. Thank you. I am interested in more ways of breaking out of the hypoarousal state :)
I've struggled with this my whole life and I used to think and get told that I'm just lazy. This video clearly conveys what this state is and how to get out of it.
I feel so pathetic that I can't even handle doing simple shit. People in developing countries don't have the privilege of procrastinating everything. But here I am doing it in my 30s because I'm unable to emotionally cope to perform some basic tasks? It's embarrassing.
I was in the freeze response several times during this year and it made me feel anxious and tired all the time, I already read articles about the amygdala and the prefrontal cortex but no one made the information fun and easy like you. It was eye-opening than you.
I’ve been feeling this way and just now I’m waking up and realizing I need to live a life of fulfillment. I’ve been stuck in the freeze response since 2021
Really well explained. I like the smoke detector comparison you made. Doesn't matter if it's food that has been burned or an actual fire...the amygdala (did I spell that right? 😅) sounds the alarm regardless. Thanks for posting this!
Thank you so much for this information. In all rhetorical years of dealing with anxiety and depression, I never had any clinician explain the freeze response. Interesting enough, I found this video while in the freeze response.
I’m having a freeze response right now. I’m literally overwhelmed and just here- Hand on hip- frozen in place. I’m stressed about my job, my new apartment that flooded and now makes my allergies crazy. I’m stressed and just want a hug and crepes.. But I’m single and get paid tomorrow! This video, that vent and me standing here was needed. Thank you!!🤎
I just lost my husband in Oct 2023. Maybe this is what I have. My husband had severe health problems our whole marriage. Many times spent following an ambulance to the hospital. Heart attacks, open heart surgery, a TIA, carotid surgery with complications, esophageal and lung cancer, dementia like symptoms all over a 25 year span. He died of heart failure. Now its all over. I cant cry, I've had panic attacks. I loved him but mourning someone is hard if you can let out the emotions. How do I correct this? Some days I literally cant get off the couch.
I was recently diagnosed with cptsd and depression that I think has been undiagnosed for 10 years. It all started when my grandmum had a series of health problems and passed suddenly. We lived together and she was everything to me. Like you i became numb. I don't know the answer to how to not be numb anymore but I think the first step is acknowledgment. The next is to talk to a professional. I am on that step now.
Please also realise that this is very early days for you and grief is a very individual process. Also, you have lost your role in life when you lost your husband. I bet you feel lost, pretty alone and don't know how to move on, because you had to put so much time into helping your husband, that you lost yourself along the way. If you'd have had a hobby and or social life apart from your husband, moving on would be easier. You can't move on from being numb when you have nothing to hold onto. You have to choose life and determine to do something small, but repetitive. Once that's become easy enough to make habitual, move on to adding something else in the mix And be kind to yourself. Show yourself some love and compassion, because you deserve to! I hope that helps and I send you my very best wishes. ❤
Been fighting against a freeze response as a result of overwhelming anxiety and too much processing and searching for solutions- survival is exhausting
Like trying to find our way out of a maze with so many wrong turns and dead ends. It would help everyone a lot if there was still an American middle class
Hello! How are you feeling now? Any better? Same happened to me, any advices?
@@petyabor5223 you can allow a little time to recognize when you are freezing and instead of kicking yourself when you are down , and if you are freezing ,‘you are under a lot , you can be kind, since you aren’t going to overcome a huge chunk of work, accept that and take a break - protect and defend yourself- know that you are just as in need of a break as if you had a fever or other illness - so defend yourself if being blamed by outsiders - after some time of rest , distraction , or connection with friends , try to see if you can make a short attempt again to achieve getting something done - things are still hard, it’s an uphill battle , but☮️, one that I am still in to fight another day - with prayer 🙏
😊
@@petyabor5223 hope you are ok- really, there has come a point where k have had to learn to choose a little courage in the face of fire- I’m learning that I must slowly break my freeze response, or at least not stop living in spite of it- it’s not a perfect situation, and it’s not overnight, but the science of human nature is that when we choose to procrastinate, that habit is reinforced, and the next time we are uncomfortable, we choose more readily to procrastinate, but that the same works for when we choose to act in spite of our fear and hesitation , even in a small way , take some kind of action - if need be, break it down into bite size pieces- and if you are unable to take the small step, make the apple to again, bc what happens is that the next time a situation comes about, we find it more natural to go into action, and face the situation , vs inaction and hiding .
Lastly, sometimes we can look at things and accept that ok, if where we are is bad, how bad can it be? Is it truly the worst imaginable? Even if it is, there is no way up but better from here .
Sometimes it feel like my brain gets stuck in choice overload, like I have so many things I want to do that I end up in freeze mode and do none of it.
Yes!!!!
When that happens to me, I just do my best to think of what is most important at that time and do that first. Usually the other things just follow after naturally.
That’s when I have to make a list. I try to order it with the most important thing first and start there. But sometimes that particular task seems too hard. So I pick something else until I get a few small things done. Once I feel a sense of success, I feel more confident and have more energy to tackle the more important or more complicated tasks.
Option paralysis! I have the same thing
Yeah story of my life!
Loving this psychology breakdown from Dr. Kelly Rowland
Isn't she Kelly's twin?!? 😂❤❤❤
😅
Was thinking the same thing 😂😂
Lol
Lmao! Well played.
Oh my god, someone finally talking about this feeling. It's like a *fear of* getting up and moving. A fear of *living,* within itself I guess.
I kind of have this now. Soncecpvid…
THIS!!!!!
me too babe
@@visionvixxenyes, the wheels are turning in my head finally. Covid created the perfect trigger for me to just feel so helpless and frozen. Even now, 4 freaking years later.
@@Anna-ly9dg It really did irreparable damage on us, huh?
For anyone reading this, I am genuinely sorry as it’s real, a fear response, being stuck, doubting yourself, your decisions. Procrastination, self-sabotage bc you are frozen in a trauma response, shut down. You can give up or fight your way through. And it’s not easy to come out the other end. Other people will think you are unmotivated, procrastinator, lazy, can’t manage your time. Things or situations may set you back, spiraling. You are in flight or fight, hyper vigilant, awaiting catastrophe. There is help. However, things begin to improve when you think of “small rewards”. Be kind to yourself. Start small. For example, start making your bed every single morning. Establish a bit of more order every day. Social media is NOT your friend. Force yourself to get into nature. Become more grounded, stop with the idiot shows on TV. Make a new approach, define your life. Make motivating play lists. Make and keep a lunch or dinner date with a friend. Practice self-care, do a spa day at home with a friend. Just don’t give up.
Needed this thank you 💞
Thank you. I’m going to try this.
😔
Thank you for the tips to accomplishing small goals. I have experienced this sadly most of my life. I am currently in therapy and wanting to learn more about myself and why I am doing the thing's I am. Being kind and patient with ourselves during this time is so important ❤I wish everyone healing and recovery ❤
I have had to listen to this three times before I can absorb it all. My attention span is super short and I don’t know if that is just a symptom of a freeze response or my adhd. sigh
I think we're all over stimulated and thus dopamine depleted. Only discipline can set us free. OK, one more video!
😂
…just one more
😂😂😂😂yep
Discipline doesn’t work for those with Pathological Demand Avoidance. It’s actually the worst thing for us and creates more problems
Lmao this comment made my day.
😂
Im basically not doing anything other than sleeping, watching netflix and making plans on my notebook like morning routines that I literally never properly start or have ever finished. I want to be this person but somehow whenever I need to do something productive I get super sleepy and I end up taking a nap or watch tv again and its making me even more tired. Its ridiculous honestly.
and on top of that, most things that I do, I cannot do for long until I get extremely exhausted. even writing this and looking at comments its like my eyes REALLY need to be closed but at the same time Im pushing through I can't explain it properly but its awful
Me too I thought I was the only one thank you
"A body at motion tends to stay in motion... a body at rest tends to stay at rest."
I repeat this quote to myself to get going and keep the momentum. Remember, it's rewarding, even though its hard sometimes to get movin'
Reading your comment felt like I was reading my own story damn, I hate this , I’m sorry your going through this sending you a big hug ❤
@@ei_maj 🙏 thank you, I will keep this in mind
@@yuliz8650 ❤Knowing I am not the only one truly does make a difference. Thank you!
When I tell you I procrastinated for days before finally watching this
me too its always easier to put on something meaningless and fun on youtube than i video like this.. i have hundreds like this one in my watch later
@@2a3ylin😂💯
months! it's been in my watch later for aaaaages and I've been avoiding it ...
SAME ! had it in my watch later for dayssss
how about weeks but I'm so glad God brought me back with my pen and paper receptive and ready at we got it done
I’m too busy watching others live their lives that I became lost and hopeless in mine. I am lost, hopeless, heartbroken depressed.
Please feel better.
I can relate.
🙏🏾💝 sending you prayers and care. I believe things can get better for you
I feel this very much…especially watching old hs friends living their life and I’m just rotting away
Thank you all for your kind words❤
Frozen unemployed for 8 months and haven't even finished my resume. On a march towards homelessness
yeah the whole process of looking is so exhausting, i feel like I've just given up and can't do it anymore. I'll probably snap out of this eventually but I'm not sure what it's gonna take.
Seek a case manager with social services and say you need resources to help with your papers, tasks, and your homelessness situation before you get there. Walk into a hospital and ask as well. If you need more info, I'll help, just let me know. God bless and good luck.
Me too ❤ I couldn’t figure out why. I can look at job listings but the resume part is what’s killing me because I have to start over. And then seeing that even entry level positions are asking for 2-3 yrs of experience is just really disappointing
So true super helpful make sure to run it through a chat GPT checker and slightly reword it 💖
Hey! No! I'd love to help you. I will send you a resume template and help you fill it out. What is your email? Seriously, I'll help you!
TikTok honestly made my freeze response 10 times worse. I deleted it for lent and it’s only been a few days and I can already feel a huge difference.
Kinda feel like 2020 messed us all up but we all had to get back to regularly scheduled programming without addressing anything. Thanks for this video.
100% - 2019 was the last time I was happy and have developed a chronic illness since
agree
valid point
bold of you to assume i wasn’t messed up before 2020
@@walsh222same 😢
i used to be a super productive person, i would use work as a defense mechanism and so on. last year a bunch of traumatic big life things happened all together and sent me into a period of depression which im still slowly coming out of (hopefully). but one thing i've learned is to never ever think anyone is "lazy" again. i've learned that productivity in itself is a capitalistic value and although useful and necessary to navigate life, not an indicator of who we are. i think productivity should be a byproduct of a balanced, healthy mind.
this video was very interesting, i dont doomscroll but i do find my self in this frozen state very often.
thank you
Sometimes freezing IS a good-health strategy. Sometimes you need to sit with yourself to understand what's really happening, how you feel about it, what you want to keep and what to toss, what your new goals are, and what steps to take to make everything come out like you want it to---the best you can manage, which is _good enough._
"productivity is a byproduct of a balanced healthy mind". Ill be looking into that, thank you.
same here last year was pretty traumatic for me it was the first time i actually experienced depression and am slowly collecting myself little by little one step at a time
i’ll never forget when I was called lazy. boy oh boy, that honestly hurt me bc of how I found out & also bc i knew it wasn’t laziness, but depression (i was trying to convince myself I wasn’t depressed) & being extremely unmotivated, which to me is way harder to overcome than laziness.
Thank you for sharing that. I needed it 💛
THIS VIDEO!!! OMG!!! I’ve spent thirty years in the freeze response shaming myself, full of fear, knowing I’m not lazy but hitting a brick wall, wading through mud when it comes to the most simplest of things. I’ve literally watched thousands of YT videos trying to find answers and you have just helped me to understand so much about myself. I KNEW that my terrible childhood traumas played a role in why I behave the way I do. The most easy life obstacles can sometimes seem to be the most difficult when I see other folk just getting on without even an apparent thought. I now have answers….I could cry. Thank you…THANK YOU! Best wishes from the UK. 😊
Happy for you
Best of luck to you moving forward now! ❤❤❤
100%
❤
I am crying.
this video has explained so so much.
I make myself leave the house to get coffee which sometimes helps me transition to being functional.
I do the same thing!
Imagine not even having the funds to do that.. it use to help me but now I can’t
My life is just full of so many unresolved issues, im just so physically and emotionally exhausted!
Same😢Everything is too overwhelming! Hopefully I’ll get out of this situation soon. Want life to be easier and feel good again
@@HCK_Cat_ I hear ypu, I'm so sorry you're going thru alot! I hope things get better with you!
@@Luciaimparato9390 Thank you so much and the same to you🙏🤍I really hope better days are coming. That’s all I wish for!
Same@@HCK_Cat_
It's trying to escape from the negatives of your reality..Yes traumas, Depression, feeling unmotivated, worthless, no purpose.
Stalling moving forward, because you keep getting set back everytime you try...
Living life vicariously through others, while avoiding your own..😢
Go for a walk if you're stuck. Don't have to go far - just do it for at least 5 minutes. Those 5 minutes were better than being stuck/miserable, yes?
Congratulations, that was a first step. That's it for the day.
Every day, just do tiny little steps, because each step takes you further away from the bad places.
Steps like: See a psych or a therapist, fix your diet, do some exercise, talk to a friend - gradually and slowly.
Stop comparing yourself to others - you're only seeing their highlight reel. Nobody posts their shit day.
Meaning is a subjective man-made construct which allows us to systematize abstract reality no more real than Santa Claus itself. How can you find meaning if meaning is an entirely man-made construct? It's a creation of perception, no?
Worse when you’re so tired you can’t even walk anymotr
"your nervous system is just as much dysregulated in the freeze response as in the fight or flight response." YO, WHAT!!! we are not talking about this enough!!
I seriously thought I was just like malignantly lazy
It's fight, flight, freeze, fawn are the responses.
Wow..
i have never felt more seen. i feel so burnt out, and all i can do is sleep, if i do anything the output vs input ratio is crazy. The guilt and shame is overwhelming.Trying to explain it feels impossible.
But having someone else verbalise how i've been feeling feels like someone grabbing a strap of a heavy shopping bag to lighten the load while walking home. The bag and contents are still there, still need to be but away and sorted, the strain of the weight can still be felt, but at least i might make it home now that i'm not carrying it alone. Thank you
Recognizing and understanding the problem is a first step. You're on your way!
wow, reading your comment I am realizing that I was in the same situation not too long ago. I'm not completely free now, but I'm doing so much better than I imagined I could be. Don't beat yourself up for your situation. Really. It's not your fault, and forgiving yourself is a crucial step towards healing. I hope you can be brave enough/feel safe enough to start releasing that shame and being curious about yourself instead. 💚🌱
❤❤
15 years ago, I had a therapist who also said, it is a form of c-PTSD, or complex post traumatic stress response. Her points agreed with everything you have said, the nervous system is dysregulated. The window of tolerance shrinks. She also mentioned that allowing a spirit of curiosity will allow a fear-free, shame-free environment to relax and just experiment. Great video, thank you!
Dang, turns out i have c-PTSD as well!
My anxious ass is zoning out while watching this 😞
Same :(
real
Me too. Weirdly I can't repeat back to you hardly anything that she said except for red colour at the top, blue at the bottom and having some tangy gums near your bed!
try increasing the speed of the video. I usually do that with videos that I feel like I can't pay attention to and it helps.
😂😂😂 fr
Honestly this video made me cry cause i finally heard somebody explain what i've been struggling with for so long. I somehow was never able to put it in words really. I usually try by saying that i feel paralysed but in the most normal situations like when i have to clean up my room. People don't understand if they haven't experienced it
Yes!!!! So much yes
I describe it to my bf as being on low power mode, majority of my normal brain function has shut down. Sometimes I have just enough to go through the motions of stuff like emptying the dish washer but I'm not all there, like I'm a robot or something.
Exactly
I cleaned my room today after being sick for a week and handing in my research proposal. I’m honestly very proud of myself 💓
EDIT: Dude I’m just seeing these supportive comments, thank you sm!💓 Hope y’all are doing well too!!
You should be proud of yourself
im also very proud of you!!
im very proud of you too
Awesome!!! 🙌
I’m so happy for you!
For me it’s because my bed reading manga or watching videos is comfortable, and the rest of the world is so tough. I found that finally getting on meds it’s easier to face the world.
I have been dealing with this and it scares the shxt out of me. I called up my insurance provider looking for a therapist and found out that there are programs for people dealing with emotional issues. I signed up for one that basically retrains you on basic things like getting enough rest, setting simple goals, dealing with my feelings..etc. There are online classes and even physical classes at the community center. It seems really extreme for me, but I KNOW this is not the way my life is supposed to make me feel. I feel like I am taking a really good first step, and I am glad that I found a source of support I didn’t even know existed before yesterday. Good luck to anyone dealing with this. Don’t be ashamed to reach out. Life is too short.❤️🔥
I'm so proud of you!! As someone on a similar journey, I'm wishing you the best!
It’s crazy because as I’ve worked with/through depression & ptsd, now that I have all these tools, I’m left with the freeze. My biggest advice to anyone who is struggling-in general-and finds themselves in the freeze is to be gentle with yourself while trying to redirect from unhealthy coping mechanisms.
That’s me now after huge scare and emotional traumas , illness , anxiety and overwhelmed. Pushing through is like swimming in sand . I can’t wait to get to calm safe waters !
I've been in this apartment TO LONG.
Yes. I feel the same way as soon as I get home. To my apartment, I go straight into a freeze mode.. I'm definitely looking forward to changing my environment. I feel a fresh new start will make all the difference.
@@prosperity. You and me both. 💙
It could be Freeze response or ADHD paralysis - very common
That's my problem. I don't know if it is two different things. I also have fibromyalgia. It is hard to do anything when the pain is bad.
What is adhd paralysis? Just curious since I have adhd. I know about over focus - is it the opposite?
@brendalg4 @brendalg4 sorry to hear you have that Brenda, I also have chronic fatigue and fibro. If you havent looked into it already B1 thiamine can be helpful.
I watch lots of content of adhd to help "hack" the symptoms of it I really like ADHD love, hayley honeyman, adhd chatter podcast. NAC supplement has also been found to help adhd symptoms. Take care x
@irenawilson1572 hi, it's very similar to freeze response. This quote sums it up well, " One lesser-known aspect of ADHD that many individuals struggle with is ADHD paralysis. ADHD paralysis, also known as executive dysfunction or task paralysis, refers to the inability to initiate, complete, or sustain tasks due to overwhelming feelings of anxiety, stress, or mental fatigue" it feels like even though you might have the physical energy to do the task ...you just can't. ADHD mental paralysis. A state of overwhelm from too many converging thoughts and emotions. It may make it challenging to speak, move, or convey what’s going on in your mind at the moment.
ADHD task paralysis. A freeze in motivation may result in procrastination and task avoidance, brought on by a looming to-do list.
ADHD choice paralysis. Also known as analysis paralysis, this is a sense of overwhelm related to too many choices or the need to make a decision..
its really hard just being a human sometimes 😂
@charlieb9144 ADHD doesn't exist. It's just propaganda for the pharmaceutical industry. There's nothing wrong with you. There's something deeply wrong with our manufactured society.
I'm guilty. After my husband passed a few months ago I lost my will to go through a day. I stay online and my phone is on UA-cam on a playlist all night.... just so I can hear talking. It breaks the now dead silence
I'm sorry to hear about your husband. I lost mine in September. Every night is the same thing after I put our son to bed... I go on the couch and look at videos on UA-cam or play games. Last night I deleted all games from my phone so I just spent hours looking at UA-cam. I realized it's just me turning my brain off. I don't have to sit with the fact that my guy is gone and never coming back.
I'm sorry for your loss. I, too, lost my husband-Covid 10/21. I binge watch YT and Netflix series. The day he died, so did I. Trying to wake up to a new world.
I'm in the same situation
Just stuck without him, it's been almost 2 yrs😢
I like to hear talking too.
Don't be hard on yourself. You're still in the initial cycles of grief.
Robots reading my mind and sent me this video... tracking my movements
It's the universe trying to help you
Some call it the Holy Spirit
I hope you're joking bro... Otherwise you might wanna check in with a mental health specialist... Although yeah, these algorithms do seem clever like that
I know EXACTLY what you mean, and yes, the are reading thoughts out here and faking divine intervention and natural synchronicity 💯
It's your guardian angel! Be not afraid.
I'm broken in every single way, including that described in this video. However I'm also so numb I can't even explain to myself what could possibly have broken me. I'm just... gone.
💔
So am I...I feel numb and I don't like it. I use to be really emotional and cry through my pain, but I can't anymore 😢
I know that walking through mud feeling all too well. I even regularly have dreams that I can't run or can't scream or cant figure out how to overcome an obstacle, like I've been put into super slow motion. Thank you.
The shrinking window of tolerance makes so much sense. I have never heard of it before but it explains a lot.
I had 2 traumatic births within 2 years of each other and I still remember the very moment when my body and mind shut down the fight was completely gone from me! And my 2 kids trigger me daily with their big emotions 😢 i can literally feel it in my body to where i have to lay down and cant get out of bed! Its a struggle and hard to explain to anyone! Im still trying for though
I pray you get some help. Please read what you wrote here to your primary doctor or gynecologist. You have serious complex case of postpartum syndrome. You need counseling possibly meds and most definitely a support system for your children. Blessings
This happened to me after the traumatic birth of my son. I couldn't really explain what was going on internally, but I felt like absolutely everything in my life was in chaos, and I just couldn't handle the stress. My anxiety and depression were crippling. I was completely fried. I regularly had days where I was so triggered by my little guy, and I had to withdraw from the world so that I didn't do something I would regret. Three years and an abusive ex later, I realized that I was experiencing serious PPD, on top of having major depression stemming from SA and resulting PTSD from those experiences, as well as from growing up with a grandiose narcissist. Talk about eff'd up.
This is me. I had a job I loved and got bullied so bad I feel broken. Im grateful I have found a new job but it pays 1/2 my old job...so times off. I feel stalled. Frozen
!!
The same thing happened to me. I was ostracized from a whole community for speaking the truth. Trying to rebuild. Hopefully we will learn from the experience ❤
This makes so much sense.
I used to be an avid reader when I was younger.
I used to write poetry when I was younger.
I was really creative when I was younger.
However, I went through a lot as a young kid and now that I am 27. My motivation is not strong. I get overwhemled so easily and I'm just like...what happened?
This makes so.much sense.
Thank you ❤
Me too girl. I've been trying to hard to get in touch with that part of myself but I just can't. Hope you're able to heal and overcome. The world needs your story 🤎
I think these are unprecedented times. Wars, disasters, bad news everywhere. It’s in our face all day, and then PTSD or depression kicks in. I think we’re all walking around feeling numb and even guilty. I call it despondence. It’s okay to grieve over the world we once knew.
Same girl. I used to play the guitar, wrote songs, sing, play with makeup…went to school full time and worked full time with a baby. Now I feel like I don’t even want to get out of bed. It sucks and is exhausting. I’m starting to get horrible panic attacks to the point my speech is slurred and my joints won’t move. It’s scary. This is an awesome video!
I recently went to therapy and was diagnosed with depression and CPTSD. I've been battling both undiagnosed for almost a decade. Every day has been a freeze reaponse for me as all i think about is how I want my old, happy self back but at the same time lamenting all the time I wasted. Simone what you are saying has helped me so much. I bet you are a great therapist and you are a gem.
I've been in this state since a teen, been frozen since then, to the point where my body broke and ended up in the hospital diagnosed with systemic lupus. Been a struggle ever since. I can't seem to be able to do every day things and when I do I feel like it's exhausting in my world but to THE world is just making a bed and washing the dishes. 🤷 (Just an example).
This was me from college until about age 31 when I finally started traveling overseas, living out in nature whenever possible, and never, ever, ever having roommates, no matter the cost. Getting a dog also forces one to get up and go outside for at least 10 mins every morning, rain or shine, feel like it or not, unless you want to have to clean up a mess in the house when you do get up. I tend to find that the marginal overwhelm I experience now that I've made the above lifestyle adjustments can be counteracted by walking with the dog, breathing fresh air, getting some sun in my eyes.
I still have the potential for that 'stuck in freeze' space, because I had a traumatic childhood and those memories sometimes get triggered. Being able to manage our equilibrium, as we shift this way and that from day to day, is such an important skill to build.
My 'sour candies' is spraying a citrus perfume on my wrists.
Baby steps are your best friend in this case. That’s what I have been doing to get stuff done and it’s been a life changer. And when I say baby steps I literally mean baby steps. It doesn’t matter how small the step is. Once you do it, reward yourself and do it again tomorrow until it becomes a habit that you can not not do. Then on to the next baby step. It won’t be easy because it will feel like you’re doing nothing but that’s where the break through is, in those baby steps. You don’t do it today, it’s okay, do it tomorrow or do it now. And if stills too big, make it even smaller. Wash, rinse and repeat
Thank you !! The most helpful comment for me. I'm entering "baby" steps mode with the same things I once was made to take big steps for.
@@Jwardell92 you got this 🔥🔥🔥 define what baby steps look like for you. Even though they may mean well, don’t let anyone else tell you what “YOUR” baby steps should be.
Damnnn...I love you for this!!
@@truthhurts4454 glad I could help 😊😊😊😊
My take on this. We have been taught to people please, and work hard which isn't always a good thing. It does us good to switch off our logical and emotional brain, its our body's way of saying we need to slow down. Taking that time to switch off is a good thing, we can't keep going at full speed and pushing ourselves all the time. Our body needs rest and our mind needs rest. Societal expectations are the most toxic expectations anyone can live up to. The laundry will always be there, it will be there tomorrow. take a breather and smell the roses. Stress is a killer and we are responsible for most of our stress, in as much as we put too much pressure on ourselves to live up to unrealistic expectations
Yes! I love your response. This is how I've been feeling. I just need to listen to my body. Stop, slow down and don't feel guilty about what needs to get done. It will get done in due time.
Seriously this is me…had a financial downfall at the same time i was grieving over people close to me dying… i was frozen. I shut down and ended up getting evicted. Now im slowly picking myself up, thankful for my family that sheltered me and doing things one step at a time to get back up
Same. I’m just crawling through it with time and release.
This is me too
❤❤
You got this I lost my mom in 2020 graduated 2 weeks after. Had a been diagnosed with cardio vascular disease still going!
this is so crazy that this popped up in my recommended because I was put in one of my worst episodes of this last night. I was sitting on the couch and I just couldn’t do *anything.* I didn’t even want to mindlessly watch tv or be on my phone. I barely felt the strength to HOLD my phone, but I also wasn’t tired enough to nap. It’s almost like I just didn’t want to be, at all.
It was dinnertime too so I knew I was hungry, but I just couldn’t bring myself to get up and walk a few feet to the kitchen. I cried when my mom warmed up some food and brought it out for me bc I felt so stupid that I couldn’t get up and ik she’s grieving too.
I call this state hell and I am in it often. Even right now, surprisingly I’m barely typing but barely even have energy to listen.
Jesus literally ordered my steps to this video. I've been scrolling for days barely putting down my phone to meet a deadline. Thank you so much for sharing.
The last 5 years has been one thing after another. My only grandchild almost died, then the next year had to have brain surgery and we found out his pituitary gland is dead which meant a solid year of trying to get him healthy and regulated, then my husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer and it's inoperable, then last year he was hospitalized twice almost dying both times and finally, my daughter and grandson moved out, which is GREAT for them but I am still struggling with it a year later. There's still stuff they left here and it's been over a year. I am stuck. I'm chronically exhausted and I just can't get motivated. I do the bare minimum. I don't know how much longer I can do this.
I’ve suffered from this my entire life, regardless of achievements, that people tell me are good. for the most part, my thought processes ruined by being afraid of everything. Excellent video.
Doing something physical and seeing how u feel on the other side is proof Ive been in freeze wayyyy too long. Wow! Im going to get exercising again! Ive been fighting myself WAY too long and Im 99% certain this will be an ultimate key. Thank u so much!
exactly I jogged for 30s and nearly fainted! Yet I didn’t gain any weight over this time period..only about 10lb difference. But no one can tell that I look different, so that doesn’t help freeze mode either. You look the same & still look good on the outside, but a corpse on the inside. I’m praying we all make it🎉 The only way to move forward is to jump out there
@@PeresphoneEXACTLY!!! Im rooting for for u!
Sad when you are a physical person and an no longer do this either
@@visionvixxenSo much!!!! I had maaaDd anxiety because of it. All that energy with nowhere to go!
I FINALLY went to the gym the other day. 😮🎉
Let us ALL remember that even the smallest baby step takes you FORWARD!!!!! ❤
Yes! Even if all you can do is walk down your street or to the mailbox. Just to get some air, sunshine, and get your legs moving.
It's people like you who make it so that I can have access to the tools I need to give myself therapy when I can't afford it. I appreciate it.
It’s currently 1.30 am in the uk and I’ve just watched this video.
I just want to say
Thankyou.
You have no idea how much I needed this message, I’m in tears.
Thankyou.
❤️
Tonight, it’s 1.30am in the UK for me too. I’m watching this video and feeling a bit better to know it’s not just me being lazy when I’m feeling like that sometimes.
"I actually don't feel safe right now" - that was so good to hear, that it can be put into words, and to not only hear that "lazy, bad etc." which usually goes on repeat.
Thank you!
I will try going about it with a curiosity mindset. Also, you’re so pretty, you look like Kelly Rowland
Thank you❤
kelly rowland ?!
That's what I'm saying
Yes
Got me too 😮 I was like Kelly ?!?!
Twins
I had to do a double take
Life is overwhelming & at times idk what my purpose is or what I should be doing next..I always feel limited
This is me 😔
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.porassss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this
Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is dr.porassss
I’ve been feeling like that the last two weeks. I waste hours just sitting on my bed in the morning (scrolling on my phone) and then it’s ‘too late’ to go to the gym etc. I get hungry for food while I’m sitting there, but I can’t even get off the bed to grab something to eat.
I’ve been having a spondylitis flareup for a few weeks. I’m thinking this may be the cause or a part of it. Or maybe I just don’t want to hold myself together anymore. It’s all tiring.
I’ve never related to this comment so much.
I experienced significant burnout and ended up in freeze response but managed to still be somewhat productive (thank God). Thank you for elaborating, I thought I was just lazy.
I can totally relate, just add avoiding Loved ones to the mix and you got it.
Omg ever since quarantine i have been doing literally nothing with my life. I completely abandoded studying. I was once one of the best students, but now I'm a freshman in highschool and keep getting Cs and Ds. My screentime is honestly CRITICAL, my brain feels like its ROTTING and I'm always tired. I just can't live properly anymore. Life feels tiring every single day, nothing is interesting, my attention span is shorter everyday. Also I can't even sleep till 3-4am because my brain is telling me to scroll on tiktok till i faint. I honestly feel like I'm decaying at 15.
This is a cry for help lmao🎀🎀🫶🫶
I definitely understand what you’re feeling. I feel like quarantine really f me up too. I’ve always had bad anxiety but something during that time just triggered it even more. I literally can’t even keep a job because of my anxiety. Hoping it will get better for the both of us 🫶🏽
00:20 Wait Kelly Rowland has a sister????
I know right!
Finally someone said it I swear people don’t realize how much trauma is out there
I'm watching this in my freeze response.
She described what I've been experiencing for quite some time now. I saught counseling twice, which didn't do a darn thing for me. This video popped up in my feed today and brought tears to my eyes, it is all about me. I'd always been great at what I do, hard worker, very proactive, and a go getter until a first time job loss in 2006 when the economy started to collasp, I exercised 7 days a week and was always on the go. I've just not been able to get it together since then. Everything has just changed. And yes, I had a lot of childhood trauma. Thank you for putting a name to what this is. It's like I know exactly what I need to do and constantly am talking it over in my head, then I approach it then just stop and start thinking about how my life has turned out compared to others and day dreaming and sometimes I may not get back to what I was working on for a year or more. PS, I'm still laying in bed right now on my eyepad at 2:19 in the afternoon whe I know I should be finishing rewriting my resume ( haven't been able to get a job in years) , cleaning my house (I need a new roof, but won't call cause I need them to see the damage inside the house also), or exercising ( I've gone from 130 to 207lbs). I feel stuck!
Take care & hang in there ❤
Sending you a big hug ❤
How to get out of the frozen zone:
1. Get curious about when it happens
2. Need more activation, so experiment - go for a walk, sth physical (stretching, moving your body...)
3. Sour candy at hand
4. Call it out - when you find yourself in this mode ,acknowledge it
*Apart from the previous: get to the root of it (through therapy, for example)
Thank you. Once again, fear comes in when I go into a freeze response. Rightly so, I have CPTSD. Gotten better in lots of ways, but each time I get that low energy, and the ‘should be doing this and that’ dullness sets in instead. Binge watching etc. I am scared this will last all winter.
Thank you for reminding me to give myself permission. Name it properly and not with guilt. I will be ok. 😊
Same here. 🫂
Is there a treatment for cptsd? My doctor told me it wasn't a real diagnosis 😢
@@lunamoona1505 It isn't a Real diagnosis in the us, but cptsd is widely known in other countries
I don't want to sound dramatic, but this is honestly life-changing. I've spent years working with different therapists and never gotten as much clarity on what's going on with me than I have from this video. THANK YOU!
Thank u. Needed to hear this. CPTSD is real!!!
Caught in grief…
I think I’m
Like that since 2020
I feel like I feel more safe when not near ppl
Agreed COVD changed everything
Interesting take with the sour candy. As a child, sour candy was my absolute fav. The more sour the better. Having not so nice parents, it was probably my kind of self soothing to be "in the present"
This is the first educational video in a while that I’ve stopped to listen to it all the way through. I saw that it was ten minutes and committed to listening to it without closing the app, or switching to another. I’m proud of myself and I’m glad this was the video I watched!
This was spectacular. Thank you! I’ve been doing therapy and inner work for years but still didn’t know why I often say, stay up late even though I’m tired.
Thank you, Kelly Rowland! I mean, thank you, Simone, this was the best explanation of freez response I've ever heard and I listened to ALOTTA materials. Every sentence is a gem, every insight on point and felt through. I suggest not to rely on hacks but really do the work, because, if you don't do the work in your 20's, it will catch you in your 40's.
Why is Kelly Rowland pretending to be someone else to post informational content on UA-cam
😂😂😂
Frrr 😂😂
I came straight to the comments to see if I was the only one seeing Kelly Rowland 😂
😂😂😂😂
@@Berg625 I totally see it! Did a double take for sure
Usually what happens is that I don't get anything done and then my parents come in and throw a fit, so now I'm finally trying to learn how to do things *before* they get home , and my secret weapon has been playing music to unstick myself
Thank you for this! Been in the freeze response basically my whole life and the awareness now is so key.
You definitely are an excellent therapist, one of a kind, you speak to youngesters and to the less young equally impactfully. This speaks to me one of your less young viewers more than dozens I have listened to over the last twelve months. Good job and thank you.
Thank you sooo much for this video. I have a dear friend who's been suffering with deep deep trauma, CCPTSD, panic, anxiety from decades of horrific spousal abuse. Yours has been the best explanation of these bodily behaviors ever. We both love the West (lucky you!) but wish you were more East for help. We've found the mental health community in Ontario is just $$$$/pharma driven and has no clue how to even articulate what you just explained. This vid's been a blessing for the knowledge. :)
Too many downloads in the past years since Covid…. My body, mind and soul is TIRED. Laying down in bed has been therapy lol
Like spiritual downloads? Because yeah man.... The energy is HEAVY. It's borderline painful.
Physio therapy is also very helpful in the freeze zone. Thanks for the insite. Greetings from Switzerland. 😊
Please explain this? Physio-movement u mean? Touch therapy, like what's called 'tapping'..?
Thanks, I’d like to know too 👍🏻
Solution at 7:00
I have had days where I was angry that I actually woke up because I had to face another day of doing nothing. Today however was a good day and while watching this video I pressed stop and did my dishes, cleaned my microwave and sat out in the sun for 5 minutes and now I am trying to reward myself with a pat on the back to retrain my brain. It's a daily struggle but even the smallest of tasks should be rewarded with crazy, stupendous joy to get a little dopamine back into our systems. I wish everyone hope, understanding and know that you are not alone. We can get through this and live better lives one small step at a time.
Thank you for helping the world.
College student here. I’m failing because of this situation. I wish there was more awareness about this and solutions given to people to survive.
Thank you Thank you Thank you I’ve been struggling with this for years🥺It feels like I reach capacity mentally when certain stressors or PTSD happens
Very interesting. Sometimes my window is really small and I just want to close the shade. Long walks in nature has saved me so many times.
This was such a helpful explanation for something that I regularly struggle with. Thank you. I am interested in more ways of breaking out of the hypoarousal state :)
My daughter is the only reason i think i am still needed here . I don't see tge point anymore. Super exhausted and soooooo lost
Going through this right now. Thank you so much for helping me understand what this is. 💖
I've struggled with this my whole life and I used to think and get told that I'm just lazy. This video clearly conveys what this state is and how to get out of it.
This was explained in an understandable way for the first time!!!! Thank you so much for this !!!!!
I feel so pathetic that I can't even handle doing simple shit. People in developing countries don't have the privilege of procrastinating everything. But here I am doing it in my 30s because I'm unable to emotionally cope to perform some basic tasks? It's embarrassing.
same 😢 i hope we can figure it out
This describes me - didn’t know there was a name for this. 😁
I was in the freeze response several times during this year and it made me feel anxious and tired all the time, I already read articles about the amygdala and the prefrontal cortex but no one made the information fun and easy like you. It was eye-opening than you.
This is me! The last 3 to 4 years have taken their toll. I am a carer.😢
I’ve been feeling this way and just now I’m waking up and realizing I need to live a life of fulfillment. I’ve been stuck in the freeze response since 2021
Really well explained. I like the smoke detector comparison you made. Doesn't matter if it's food that has been burned or an actual fire...the amygdala (did I spell that right? 😅) sounds the alarm regardless. Thanks for posting this!
Thank you so much for this information. In all rhetorical years of dealing with anxiety and depression, I never had any clinician explain the freeze response. Interesting enough, I found this video while in the freeze response.
I get in the red zone when working, and then flip to the blue when I am home.
I’m having a freeze response right now. I’m literally overwhelmed and just here- Hand on hip- frozen in place. I’m stressed about my job, my new apartment that flooded and now makes my allergies crazy. I’m stressed and just want a hug and crepes.. But I’m single and get paid tomorrow! This video, that vent and me standing here was needed. Thank you!!🤎
I just lost my husband in Oct 2023. Maybe this is what I have. My husband had severe health problems our whole marriage. Many times spent following an ambulance to the hospital. Heart attacks, open heart surgery, a TIA, carotid surgery with complications, esophageal and lung cancer, dementia like symptoms all over a 25 year span. He died of heart failure. Now its all over. I cant cry, I've had panic attacks. I loved him but mourning someone is hard if you can let out the emotions. How do I correct this? Some days I literally cant get off the couch.
I was recently diagnosed with cptsd and depression that I think has been undiagnosed for 10 years. It all started when my grandmum had a series of health problems and passed suddenly. We lived together and she was everything to me. Like you i became numb. I don't know the answer to how to not be numb anymore but I think the first step is acknowledgment. The next is to talk to a professional. I am on that step now.
see if your insurance will cover some therapy. Better help is pretty good. Therapy by zoom, based on your income.
Please also realise that this is very early days for you and grief is a very individual process. Also, you have lost your role in life when you lost your husband. I bet you feel lost, pretty alone and don't know how to move on, because you had to put so much time into helping your husband, that you lost yourself along the way. If you'd have had a hobby and or social life apart from your husband, moving on would be easier. You can't move on from being numb when you have nothing to hold onto.
You have to choose life and determine to do something small, but repetitive. Once that's become easy enough to make habitual, move on to adding something else in the mix
And be kind to yourself. Show yourself some love and compassion, because you deserve to! I hope that helps and I send you my very best wishes. ❤