The Difference Between Primary and Secondary Paruresis
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- Опубліковано 28 бер 2021
- Wait--there's primary and secondary Paruresis? What's the difference, and how do we work on both? Vice-President of the International Paruresis Association, Dan Rocker LCSW clarifies some common terms.
The Secret Social Phobia - www.amazon.com/Secret-Social-...
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Nice, thank you. I’ve been working a lot the last year on changing my secondary Paruresis. Mostly using CBT and identifying cognitive distortions such as Catastrophising, black and white thinking and comparative thinking.
Been a VERY slow progression for me personally so far but I have made some tangible progress. Allowing myself to fail and fighting off the intensely negative thoughts have been the hardest part
😅
Another thing feeding the harsh secondary Paruresis with guys imo is that we’re very competitive and a LOT of ego gets tied in with male genatalia. Everything can be (and often is) used to either inflate or attack your ego or another man’s. And, yes even in this modern PC culture(and possibly emboldened by it) there is still a huge amount of relation to manliness tied to male genatalia. I work with a lot of high performance people, mostly guys in a premier automotive development facility. I’ve had bosses, coworkers and engineers recently who are brilliant, who can also sound like the most welcoming PC people on record, but off record brag all day and a lot of it has “dick” comments in it. It’s so engrained in male culture and as much as I HATE it I don’t think it’s toxic as much as it’s innate. To me that’s why it’s so shameful to have this issue as a guy.
You might enjoy looking up some podcast episodes that feature Michael Addis and Daniel Ellenberg--men who as a part of their work question traditional masculinity. There's something for you there ;-) Specifically I can recommend the PATERNAL podcast, episodes 40, 47, 57, and 67. And Daniel Ellenberg's episode on Dan Harris' 10% Happier. Enjoy.
Well, I tried what I read the other day and it felt like the biggest relief of my life when I suddenly realized I was effortlessly flowing, it all started when something struck me after I go'ogled Beck Reznark's guide and now it's on demand for me lol
Shut up