My Recent Weight Loss and Fears About Regaining Weight (Explaining My Mistakes)
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- Опубліковано 4 бер 2022
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Proud of you always ❤️
Where do I find myself a Jeff?🥺❤ Love you Steph!!
Jeffrey u got a sick neck m8
Just want to say the video on turk was phenomenal
❤️ you two are the cutest
Where are the guys like this😅
Steph!! You should film and share what YOU want to. Don't be such a people pleaser, because there will ALWAYS be people who won't be happy with what you put out. I am personally interested in everything you mentioned (what you're up to now, career path, vlogs, training)! ❤️ Since ALL IN, I feel you've felt you have to tip toe around things. Just be you and do what you want!
Exactly! We can NEVER please everyone! People should just worry and focus on themselves! 👏🏽💯👏🏽
I can admit that this is why I just can't be on social media. When I nearly reached 1K on IG in 2018, people started to pick on me, accuse me of getting surgery and/or lip fillers, and more and more lowlife men coming into my DMs. (I'm too poor to afford cosmetic surgery, lol) Social media made my depression, anxiety and PTSD get worse. I had to switch off because of the toxicity. It was tearing me down even more. People made me feel so ugly. They managed to make me feel more insecure than I already am with myself. I almost felt pressured to follow the crowd and get surgeries done! Bobbi Brown followed me at the time. Anything could of happened for me if I stayed on IG because I was starting to get noticed. I knew it, I just didn't pursue it.
We should never put ourselves in last place. A tough lesson, learned. (Sorry for going in a tangent) Thanks for your time! Blessings! 💕
Agreed! I don't think its fair that people had an issue with her showing physique when it was smaller. People can be so mean.
Yes! It’s her channel and she should post whatever makes her feel good about herself
She's a "people pleaser" bc she made her career on a platform where people can judge/leave you easily.
I think she needs to see YT as a hobby vs. her main source of income.
I will continue to support her bc she's always authentic, even in her missteps. Anyone who struggles with disordered thoughts (weight related or anxiety) knows how horrible it actually is. The process is messy AF.
She has an audience full of young girls so we also need to protect them. Ofc she can post whatever she wants, but not promote irresponsible behaviour
This is the first time I hear "getting back on track" referring to actually being (working) on a healthy relationship with our body and food. It's a phrase that always used to trigger me and remind me of my worst self-loathing sessions. I love the change of perspective hearing you use it in this context gave me!
Show your body, show your brains, show yourself--show what YOU want to show because you bring a lot of value to so many of us. (Frankly, if people are triggered by your body image...that's their problem.) Happy to see you back!
Yes. Always show yourself and who you are, and perhaps a forewarning for those who may get uncomfortable.
Amen 🙏🏽 Some people project their insecurity onto others and that isn’t fair. They can always click off of the video. No need to send hate her way and complain about it. SMH
I feel the same!!! Thank you for saying this, now I don't have to post it Lol
I need to see the befores, the during and AFTER please!!
Cheers to fitness UA-camrs who recognize when they are no longer healthy enough to be giving advice. I really respect Stephanie taking this break.
Majority of us are here because of your beautiful personality! I wouldn't go down the rabbit hole of trying to please everyone. You being authentic is what keeps us coming back!
So so freaking true!
@@butitsmeeeeee4535 W
agree!! ^^
I’m part of the orthorexia recovery audience, and I personally don’t have any issues with you sharing your physique. It actually helped me a lot to visualize how the process was/has been for you. As far as content, I’m pretty much going to watch anything you do lol. You should do what brings you joy, and I think a lot of us will love whatever that ends up being.
As a therapist i have to say that doing therapy is not easy and the beginning does feel realy hard. But it is also about finding the right therapist that you feel comfortable to talk to. I hope you give therapy another try in the future! Meds are great, but the combination of meds and therapy has been proven to be the best way to treat depression and anxiety disorders. And it also helps you to create new habits and patterns so that you dont become dependable on the meds, so one day, when you are ready, you can stop taking these meds and still feel great. Anyway, I love hearing your story and that you are taking care of your mental health and body! You look great no matter your body count
I think you reached the ED recovery community because you in fact struggle with an eating disorder. Orthorexia is a form of disordered eating. Anorexia is not the only ED that exists. Lots of luck to you, stay strong!
I think it's a bit weird how people are just diagnosing her with an eating disorder.
Wonderful woman, but yes she has an eating disorder of some kind. This was a relapse, glad she caught it.
@Lèmon Lēe exactly, it's plain to see, especially if you had or have recovered from an eating disorder.
@@Mycupoverflows me too💜
@@ellize1998 If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, sounds like a duck, and behaves like a duck, tho...
finally, a youtuber that is realistic and actually tries to portray the hard parts and continuous effects of eating disorders/disordered eating/anxiety/etc. I have so much respect for her
Yep!!!
She's in denial! And she's not open to receiving therapy. It's disappointing and irresponsible of her to be on here promoting anything.
I think this goes to show healing from eds is more than healing that extreme hunger. It’s a lot deep and much more mental than physical!
totally relatable. Recovery is no linear process. I went all-in too, then when my menstruation came back, my hormone was regulated and thus my appetite. I was in tune with my hunger/fullness cues after a long time of ED and extreme hunger. I was genuinely happy, energetic, motivated, enjoying life and work without caring much about body-checking or food anymore. Gaining weight at first was terrifying, but I pushed hard, committed to never stepping on the scale and limiting body-checking. Then after a while, my weight dropped a bit as I didn't have extreme hunger and devour the world anymore, I was content, and subconsciously enjoying the compliments I got. Somehow, those thoughts crept back in, even though I kept denying it, saying Oh I'm fine now, I got my period back so cutting this and that wouldn't be so serious. And before I knew it, I was already in my old habits, chronic stress, mental battles. Because the discernible part of my brain was like: "Hey, are you restricting again? If you restrict again then you're gonna revert back to that binge-restrict-starve-binge-guilt-restrict cycle, don't do it, eatt" and another distorted part kept deluding myself: "No, I'm fine, I'm not that hungry, others are skipping meals too, I ate too much before, I just eat when I'm hungry now...". And yes, I lost my period again, along with my hair and energy. I knew I have been trapped into that relapse, and had to push twice as hard to keep the demon voice at bay to eat unconditionally, allowing my extreme hunger to resurface once again, regain weight. Now that I have my period once again after 2 years of on and off, I promise myself never to skip a meal and actively (even subconsciously) trying to lose weight. I know if I skip this meal, I will be starved and binge later, or worse, reverting back to that depressive cycle again. I just don't want to loose a lot of weight then experience the extreme hunger where I devour all food in sight and get extremely bloated. The only way to prevent extreme hunger and binge-restrict is to never restrict in the first place. I hope I can stick to that from now on.
So true! Thank you for sharing your story, rooting for you ❤️❤️
Finding a therapist is similar to dating. It's a lot of trust and finding compatibility. It's not always a first try success. I say give it another go if your up to it!. It takes some time which can always put people off but it's worth it.
I agree! I really believe that she (and anyone!) would benefit from a professional alongside them, even if simply as a source of accountability to keep to your psychological commitments. :-)
Thank you for this. Establishing a relationship with a therapist takes time. They are obligated to engage in the topic of choice but unlike a friend, they are unable to provide direct suggestions. It’s up to the patient to find the solution within the conversation.
Was just about to post this exact sentiment. It takes a long time and persistence, and a lot of luck.
Absolutely! I found my therapist after the second try and I’ve never been so happy
Ok ... be skinny if you want. Aint nothing wrong with purposely being small. Damn can we move on already.
as a person who has and still struggles with an ED, your account has really helped me. I actually enjoy seeing your physique updates as they remind me that even after gaining weight you can still be beautiful. I would love to see more what I eat in a day videos, they help me realize eating more is okay. obviously, stick to what you are comfortable with and do what you want to do though.
This 💗
Love these idea, that would help me too !
just a gentle note for others struggling with eating.. in general, 'what i eat in a day' videos are not great content for promoting recovery. they can contribute to preoccupation with food and monitoring/comparing intake. although they can be interesting and theyre popular, i really wouldn't recommend most people with eating issues to watch that style of content, even if it's showing healthier diets. but of course, you have to make your own decisions about what's good for your personal recovery journey :)
Agreed! Your physique updates give me courage to gain weight, because if it can look that good on you, maybe it will look ok on me? Keep it up. Also love the science based, deep dive videos!
It's scary how ingrained the whole 'weight loss is always good' message is in ALL of us. I am far too thin, and while I consciously know that and want to gain weight, I have this knee-jerk negative feeling when I put on weight. It's incredibly inspiring that Steph is so open and honest about this and her talking about it gives me so much hope for myself and all of us. ❤️
Jeff’s positive support gives me hope that beautiful constructive relationships that mutually inspire those in it do exist in the most beautiful and powerful ways. Thank you for your vulnerability 💖
Your authenticity is what makes you so easy to relate to. Thank you for opening up, and showing its okay to take time for yourself and it's okay to not be okay.
But she truly cannot heal from her eating disorder as long as she's lying to herself by calling it "orthorexia" and "extreme hunger" .
stephanie, i am tired of your eating journey. you have an ED. just admit it! you live for confirmation from strangers through the pictures and videos you post online. I want to believe you have good intentions but it just feels as if you are using your health and physique as a business.
@Vanessa plus that is the wrong focus. When someone has an eating disorder the problem they are suffering with is their emotional and psychological state. The problem is not at all about body or food. It's to heal the psychological state. It only presents as controlling food intake and thinner or heavier body but that is not what the issue is with an eating disorder.
No one, especially through UA-cam comments has the right to tell you how your body should look. Just take care of yourself (mind, body, and soul) and rise above all these toxic comments masked as positivity and concern. Best wishes Steph xoxo!!!
This came at the perfect time Steph. I think I have an ED - I’m not diagnosed, but I don’t eat until 4-5pm every day, and only stick to the foods I don’t fear. If I anticipate going to a dinner or any event, I won’t eat in the day until that event. If I eat a small amount of a fear food, I will often go on a one hour walk the following morning. Since losing about 4kg weight last year, I fear regaining weight hence those eating habits. I hear you and you aren’t alone 💕
I’m an eating disorder therapist and I’ve also been a client several times over in my life. I also agree with some of the commenters on here that finding the right therapist can take time and giving it a few sessions. It takes time to get to know the client and best how to help as each person is so unique in their journey towards mental health. For most, meds can help but usually only work for so long or do much. Lasting transformation comes from hard work, accountability and sitting with the difficult questions/ emotions in life. Eating disorders are VERY complex and multifaceted. Most clinicians don’t have proper training so it is always best to choose someone who specializes in this if you struggle with it.
Okay that’s my PSA for anyone seeking out therapy for ED 😂✌️💜
I’m perfectly fine with you posting your physique as long as it doesn’t make a negative impact on your mental health.
Do what feels right for you! Sending love your way girl! 🖤
As someone who had struggled with an eating disorder for 8 years, I see the same things in you. I recovered by taking anxiety meds as well! But I can imagine it being hard for you because of social media. Keep going ❤
This really resonated with me - I had a similar instance recently of feeling I was slipping into old bad habits and the fact that you can acknowledge it and take action this time around is so powerful!
Sameee!!!
This came at the exact right time. I can feel myself slipping comfortably into that distorted mindset as my anxiety rises. I just don’t know how to do “recovery” consistently, especially when there’s a lot of pressure from other parts of my life. Sending love to whoever is still battling their own mind to regain control over their mind not over their bodies and eating.
Thank you Steph for always being brave enough to share your struggles . You are such a gem✨
I’m curious as to how you differentiate between eating disorders and restrictive fitness mindset? Food guilt, extreme hunger, and restricting food to make yourself smaller seems like Ed and I would say orthorexia is a type of Ed. I personally think it’s helpful to pull away from how you look and focus on how you feel so I would prefer no physique updates. I also think that it would be unfair to force your identity to be just talking about all in and nutrition so if there is other content you want to put out that would be interesting in addition to the current topics.
She cannot take ownership of it. She cannot realize she hasn't eating disorder and therefore feel she can't get treatment and heal as long as she's labeling it incorrectly. Calling an eating disorder "extreme hunger" & "orthorexia" is clearly not WHAT she's dealing with.
@@pinkrainbow4484 so true, this is an eating disorder and should be talked about and treated as such. It's important for people to be open and talk about this subject.
stephanie, i am tired of your eating journey. you have an ED. just admit it! you live for confirmation from strangers through the pictures and videos you post online. I want to believe you have good intentions but it just feels as if you are using your health and physique as a business.
@@Sara-ok6zd exactly because an eating disorder is NOT at all ABOUT food. It's an inner emotional turmoil that presents itself by either abstaining from, overeating, or purging of food.. or over exercising. That's just a side effect, not the issue troubling the person.
I think a lot of people have EDs but don't realize it because they think it's just fitness and wellness.
I'm sorry to hear you had a bad experience with therapy, sometimes it can be hard to find the right fit! I'd encourage you to continue to "shop around" as therapy can be beneficial for ANYONE if you find the right therapist. Regardless, proud of you
I was about to write the same thing! I had to change a few therapists before finding the one. I know it can be discouraging but don't give up. I also think it could be beneficial to try diffrent therapy approches, different people need different types of therapy. lots of love
Absolutely. And i hope people also see that going on medication isint a measure of health. I know anxiety can be so so hard to deal with especially if its affecting you physically. But anxiety is still a SYMPTOM of something larger. Unresolved issues/traumas that aren’t healed manifest as anxiety,depression, etc. Seeing a therapist, or getting a life coach to do the hard deep work and HEAL what caused the symptoms rather than taking medication to cover them up IS true health and vitality, and is actually healing/freeing your body and your mind from the mental prison we can put ourself in. It’s about recognising and reconciling the part of you that doesn’t truly love and accept yourself. 🥰
Thank you so much for opening up and sharing this, Steph! There were fleeting moments when I noticed your weight loss and started to think that I should be losing weight too while eating intuitively (not your fault at all). But it helps to know the full story behind what we see on social media! I’d love fitness related content, or really anything you feel called to share that feels relevant to you ♥️
Your all in journey encouraged me to start my recovery journey. Two years later, I'm healthier than I've EVER been in my 24 years on this planet--including as a child. You're just as much a part of this community as I am or anyone else who is suffering, recovered, or has recovered.
hi :) did you also go all in? and if so, would you like to share your experience?
Your veideos about All in are the reason I overcame my anorexia. You made me feel like it was okay to just let go all fears of food and allow myself to nourish my body. Thankyou so much❤️
Thanks for sharing your story. For a person who has ED, it's important to eat "mechanically" and not skip meals. Hunger and satiety comes back to normal after about half a year of mechanical eating. This is what dieting does- it messes up our natural hunger and satiety ques. Wishing you all the best in your recovery journey and please remember- your weight does not define your self worth. 💛
You are amazing and you are human. My daughter has an extreme eating disorder. She has been hospitalized many times. I also have body dysmorphia. It helps to hear your testimony. Thank you for being so transparent. We love you chic-a-dee! Keep up the great work….
So nice seeing you. You're human and real. You show your struggles and help others see they're not alone. Thank you for all you do and it would be nice to see how you're doing in all walks of life. God bless you Stephanie and stay strong
Hey Stephanie, I went through 4 therapists before finding mine! It’s a lot like dating, you have to keep going and trying to see if you can connect with one! Don’t give up
To some of the comments- rather than trying to see this video as a "gotcha" moment, maybe take this as a way to understand that recovering from eds/disordered eating is far more complex than just gaining weight?
Amen.
But she didn’t say she has an ED.. or suffers from disordered eating? That’s just her followers, she’s the exception to the rule
As someone who struggles with a lot of these thoughts and fears before an “all in” journey, this means so unbelievably much, Thank you, Steph!! And I would love to see more content like this :)
Girl. I am so happy to hear you talk about this journey. Please continue to just do you and kick anxiety in the butt as much as you can. I am so impressed with your honesty. So grateful for this video. 🙏
Once you have an eating disorder you always have to take Care of your mind, it’s really hard! You’re beautiful and very strong, Steph, don’t ever forget it
I agree. It might take different forms but it never seems to go away completely does it. Exhausting.
@@ginag8723 it does! Check the podcast "Calling it out" for people who have recovered for good :)
Hi stephanie! Regarding showing your physique- as a recovered ED person, it doesn't affect me at all, but i do think that a big part of recovering is moving on from focusing on what your body looks like. We love your fitness content regardless of what you look like -- and i think this is a very important role to take on this platform (decentering the physique in the fitness community). Just do what feels good and true to yourself, your values and your goals. :)
the anxiety you're talking about is a huge part of my life too, as i'm sure is the case for so many others. i'd love to see more videos from you about it if you were willing to make them
I love your all in content and knowing how you’re continuing to move forward - it’s been MASSIVELY helpful to me and sooo many people.
Aww so I’m glad Stephanie is honest w us. Being “all in” especially in front of a large audience is hard. And honestly I think this is so relatable. It’s hard to move past “skinny is beautiful” when that’s all you see on social media.
Skinny is beautiful!… but so is not skinny, chubby, heavyset, larger-bodied, short, tall, lanky or whatever you want to call the shape of someone’s body. We need to get away from putting people into boxes and categories. Everyone is beautiful in their own way.❤️
How about "eating disorder is bad"
This is something I see very often with my clients as a ED recovery coach. Rushing to Intuitive Eating (a. k. a. eating less) is common trap. And I agree, its great way to learn and strenghten your recovery. We learn on our mistakes. Take care!
What’s the issue with Intuitive eating?
@@schminktisch there isn't an issue with it, however if you jump into it too soon into ED recovery you won't actually eat enough because you haven't taken enough time to learn (via a meal plan of 3 meals, 3 snacks for example) how much you need to eat.
What's ED?
@@23lexicon ED= eating disorders
Honestly, film whatever you want. You are truly a breath of fresh air. I appreciate all of your videos. ❤️ im sorry to hear that you have had a tough 4 months but also happy to see you push through your struggles.
Stephanie!!! I am so beyond ecstatic you are back! You are truly one of the most relatable and authentic fitness/nutrition people I follow. This is not to pressure you to post more or to be a role model for us - but just sharing your journey makes me feel less alone with my eating journey. I appreciate and love your honesty and introspection!
Honestly, anything you post I’d happily watch - you captivate people with your authenticity, intelligence and radiant personality! I can’t wait to see what you post, regardless of what the content is!
The fitness community is LOADED with eating disorders and lots of those fitness people don’t admit to it or talk about it.
Same with Body Dysmorphic Disorder, which doesn’t need to be repetitive/nitpicking behaviours but simply repetitive thought-patterns and obsessions with appearance.
She needs help!
I just went through this three months ago - after a year of being "sober" from anorexia and bulimia. I had to buck up and eat. So glad to hear that you are back on track. Also the weighing and mirror checking, man that is hard to stop doing!! Tracking things in general is so hard to stop. Keep up the good work
Good for you, congratulations on fighting through it! I'm in a similar position now, in treatment for over two years now but still hanging on to ed behaviours, its hard to do that letting go
I love and so appreciate you sharing your all in journey. It’s something that a lot of us struggle with and don’t know how to heal from it.
All your videos are so helpful, so anything you put out is appreciated ♥️
I' d really like to see you expand in your content. Show us something that you enjoy doing even if it has nothing to do with fitness and nutrition.
Yes your journey has really helped many of us with EDs of all ages. Your authenticity and honesty has been invaluable as has your scientific approach and background. I also think it’s important that people in recovery from an ED do see normal shaped bodies and know that you can be proud of your recovered self. Taking care with clothes and make up and fashion etc should not be incompatible with ED recovery….So for me body pictures are fine and indeed encouraging. Thank you for all your work.
I literally love everything that you post & would love to see more daily vlogs, and thank you for sharing your journeys. It’s eye opening and it connects so many people, including myself.
Love you Steph! you're like a big sister - I feel like i go through things at a similar time to you and it's refreshing to have you be so open and honest about this subject. Keep shining
I think we've all knew this video was coming. We could see the weight loss and knew something was happening. I appreciate you finally addressing it and being honest about your journey, thank you. This is part of the reason I've come away from social media, I started my all in journey from watching your video and gained a stone but still had hope I'd lose weight because you did and mentioned that can happen in this process but when I saw your weight loss and your last video. I was like what am I doing listening to someone unqualified? Not just you but others on Instagram too. So I've taken matters into my own hands. I forgot I was following you until UA-cam just sent me this notification, so I've unfollowed for my own sake.
Also to people reading this, therapy is wonderful and it may take a few goes to find what's right for you. The silent method of therapy and CBT (more homework based) isn't for me either. I've found person centric therapy the best option for me over the years and coaching. So find what's good for you but it can really be a great experience. I'm glad Stephanie found what worked for her too.
Good luck everyone. Remember to take people on the internet with a pinch of salt, follow your journey and what's right for you. I've definitely learnt that and coming away from social media has helped greatly with comparison, questioning what I'm doing and copying someone else's journey. We live and we learn.
Good luck for the future Stephanie!
so well said 👏👏
Well done Zoe! I'm not affected myself but I think you did everything perfectly right!
Most sensitive, mindfull comment I had read since a very long time. Will be so helpfull for others, struggeling with an ED/DE.
I completely agree. ;)
Yes, well said! 👍♥️
👍
There's no way this was easy for you to address. I have so much respect for your ability to look at your situation objectively and reassess your body's needs. You got this!
Oh my goodness Steph!!! Do you know how AMAZING it is to follow you!! I relate to you so much! It’s so great to hear you talk about eating/weight loss/ gym, falling back into habits, getting out of those habits etc! I relate to you so much and it is so great to hear what I go through from someone else! Also LOVE that you try to be as evidence based and informative as you can be! When you talked about how you felt when discussing this with your friend - is exactly how I feel watching your video! I’m crying !
So appreciate of your genuine honesty and openness about your journey. As a years long subscriber, I remember first noticing your physique transforming in such a way to a point of concern right before you began your All In path. And as you say you began to restrict again after, I wondered if it was your body balancing itself during that time. Knowing your truth now, again, the honesty is truly appreciated bc vulnerability takes immense strength. So thank you for that. 💜
Also, it’s beyond sweet that you’re reaching out to inquire about what your subscribers may or may not wish to view. I’d say do any and everything you wish until your find what ignites your inner light.
Relating to therapy: Steph, finding the right therapist is hard work but work worth doing. I’m on my third therapist, and I finally feel like I found the right one. Getting here wasn’t easy though, I went to therapy for 3 consistent years before I found the right one, and I gave them more than a few sessions to decide if I should move on to someone else. However, those sessions with the ones that weren’t the right fit were still useful and I learned a lot from it. But no one looks forward to therapy. It gave me unpleasant feelings too but you have to be willing to do tbe work. Don’t go to therapy just to hear what you want to hear, or what is the actual point. You need to accept that dealing through our issues is going to be painful.
Growth is painful!! At the end of the day, it’s your choice, but I think you went in with the wrong expectations. Hopefully you take my advice and give it more than a couple months because you,
And anyone, but especially someone dealing with the issues you’ve talked about here, would benefit so much from therapy ❤️
Thank you for this. Therapy is hard work and it takes time, sometimes even discomfort to work on oneself at that level. I hope she considers this to face her challenges, ED, and anxiety over time - and can talk about it with her young audience.
Really pulling for her and hope she takes care.
Preach!!! Feeling bad sometimes after a therapy session is part of the job because it make what is hidden comes to surface.
I feel like a lot of people go to therapy not knowing what it really entail. Like when you go to à psychiatric it is also a therapy but the only difference is that they are doctors. There is also different technics. Me for example I do hypnotherapy which is AMAZING for anxiety and depression and give you really sustainable release. But I also like to talk through things. So I do both and they are complementary. Hypnosis help me breaking through a lot faster.
Anyway thank you for your message and I hope Stephany will see your message.
@@uneuroalafois9313 what does hypnotherapy for depression involve? Does the therapist just tell you some kind of affirmations during hypnosis that are supposed to help overcome the depressive/anxious mindset? Or is there something else too? I've done years of talk therapy and while it helped to an extent, I'm at a point where there seems to be nothing to talk about, but depression is still a problem.
It’s definitely a process, even just finding the right one. But hearing of so many who can attest to seeing several before finding ‘the one’ reinforces the normality in the process. Wishing you well in your journey.
@@oksanakaido8437 not at all. Especially the first session you will discuss some kind of a plan of attack with your therapist depending on your symptoms. At the beginning of each session you check of about that. Each session was like doing exercises in the hypnotic state. for exemple, for greive you will imagine as that you met the person, your ex for exemple, and imagine you two connected by a line, a rope a ribbon for exemple and they will ask you to tell him what you wanted to say, they will ask you to imagine what he would reply and then they will ask you to take a look at what the link looks like, if it has changed or not and ask you for exemple to cut it, so that you feel at peace letting the person go. And then come back to consciousness. The exercises depend on what you need to work on.
For me for example I had restless sleep, I would be tired 2h after waking up, had a bad work situation and family issues.
So the first few sessions were centered around retreaving a good sleep, by thinking less at night and "feeling safe".
So in hypnosis I had to see my thoughts being written on a wall and then I would erase then as they came as to says that thoughts can go away. And you repeat it a few time etc...
To do that kind of work, You have to look for a "solution oriented" hypnotherapist. Solution oriented means that they are going to help you with what's bothering you in your day to day life first to give you a better quality of life. You won't have to dissect everything you went through. If trauma work need to happen I will be focused on building you up.
We missed your radiant smile and contagious positivity❣️ I’m glad you got a much needed break, and thank you for always bringing real-life relatable struggles to this platform. You got this!
It's wonderful how transparent and honest you are in these vids, Stephanie.
You are amazing! Thank you for opening up and you can always show your beautiful body - in any shape and form 🥰🤗
Appreciate your honesty and willingness to be vulnerable. That's not easy. Wishing you all the best Steph.
I feel so comforted knowing that I’m not the only one who is orthorexic because I used to think it wasn’t as common as an ED, so it wasn’t as severe or needed attention to, when it definitely does!! I appreciate your vulnerability so much 💕💕💕
I love how vulnerable you are, Steph!! thank you so much for that ❤️
You do you Steph! I love everything that you post. You remain one of the few OGs out there I watch from start to finish and I truly care about what they have to say. Thank you for taking the time to share what you can and for being authentic. What matters to me is that you are true to yourself and you are REAL. I believe you help many of your audience recognize themselves in your struggles and challenges. That is as REAL as it gets!
YOU DO YOU GIRL! Stephanie, I have said this before but will say it again: You have helped me so much throughout my ED recovery journey and I cannot thank you enough. I have been documenting my progress on my own channel and really admire you as a UA-camr. Thank you for your honesty, kindness and openess on what life can really be like. Sending love always ❤️
stephanie, i am tired of your eating journey. you have an ED. just admit it! you live for confirmation from strangers through the pictures and videos you post online. I want to believe you have good intentions but it just feels as if you are using your health and physique as a business.
It still feels a bit like you're in denial about having an eating disorder. The guilt over eating and gaining weight definitely sounds like disordered eating. Of course you know yourself best and it seems like you're taking the right steps to recover no matter what you label it. Welcome back.
Yeah, and its painful to see that she chose to go with the quick easy fix of medication rather than therapy. She doesn't understand that in healing, it has to get worse before it gets better. Confronting ur psychological issues will cause a uptake in anxiety and often times a lot of suffering at first but its the only way to actually deal with the root of the issue.
stephanie, i am tired of your eating journey. you have an ED. just admit it! you live for confirmation from strangers through the pictures and videos you post online. I want to believe you have good intentions but it just feels as if you are using your health and physique as a business.
@@11pinkie11 well she is using it as business to educate us.. a lot of ppl use the physical appearance as business. She is also human and falling to the adulation of others is a pitfall we can all experience. It’s rare the person that is safe from it. Both nasty and positive comments can stick to you. But so what if she is using her physic to teach us that’s her brand
@@11pinkie11 Your comment is nowhere near helpful. First, you are not qualified or in any position to diagnose an eating disorder on someone. And second, someone's journey of struggling with eating is not something say that you're "tired of". If you're tired of it stop watching. It's that easy. Stop putting your unnecessary frustration on her when you should be giving her encouragement for something so sensitive. Just because she's on a screen doesn't mean she can't be hurt by your words so literally take your attitude somewhere else please.
Exactly right. She will label it anything BUT "eating disorder" . Calling it extreme hunger & orthorexia is inaccurate and will hinder her recovery and treatment because it is not at all about food. It's a psychological emotional issue that needs to be worked on rather than her diet/ food that needs work..
Thanks as always for opening up to us about not only your struggles, but also your process of seeking help! Seeking out help for mental health issues is still so stigmatized, so seeing influencers such as yourself being honest about those situations is so very beneficial in normalizing mental health problems. Don't let anyone make you feel less than you are. You're so very strong, and a beautiful soul inside and out! Be well, and be happy xx
It’s been truly incredible to watch your entire journey. I love how raw and honest you have been; from crying when you gained weight and didn’t feel comfortable in a swimsuit to reveling in eating “fear foods.” I can completely relate. I have been pretty much following a low carb diet my entire adult life which has definitely taken a toll on my energy levels, self-image, mental health and has led to binge eating due to all the restriction. This past year I hiked the Pacific Crest Trail for a myriad of reasons, one being to “heal” my relationship for food. For the first time since I was a high school athlete, I could eat WHATEVER I wanted since I was hiking 20+ miles a day. It was absolutely glorious. Not to mention I was in the best shape of my life and actually liked what I saw when I looked in the mirror. I felt so strong and confident. I ended up getting plantar fasciitis at the tail end of my hike and it took about 2 months before I could walk my dog without being in excruciating pain. I’m still in the healing process but have been able to follow a low impact fitness program. I’ve been trying to re-teach myself how to eat; to read a nutrition label without simply focusing on net carbs, to eat more balanced meals, to give myself permission to indulge in treats. I’ve already gained all of the weight I had lost back and am beating myself up again when I look in the mirror. I’m still fit but the first place I gain weight is in my face and around my waist. I know I’m on the right path but there is still a voice that says you can get faster results if you just cut out carbs. I feel like if I don’t have food rules, it just opens the floodgates. I recently started counting my macros so I have a better idea of what I’m eating but worry that it might lead to obsession again. Anyway, I appreciate you being open because it makes me feel less alone in this exhausting cycle. I just keep reminding myself that rewiring my brain doesn’t happen overnight after a lifetime of disordered thinking and eating. To answer your questions, I enjoy watching what I eat videos for inspo sprinkled in with some training. Broaching some of these topics with experts would be interesting as well instead of being told over and over again just listen to your body and eat intuitively. I don’t think there is anything wrong with showing your physique and that it is impossible to protect everyone from being triggered. Thank you for sharing your struggles and triumphs. We got this.
Honestly we want you to share the content you feel the most comfortable with, love that you are back❤️
i can’t tell you how much i needed this, i’ve been struggling with the exact same thing!! also i just wanted to say that i missed you, i’m so glad you feel like coming back is manageable and also that your sensitivity is so so sweet and you are truly such a wonderful human being. watching your struggle made me cry lol, you are so genuine and have helped so many people (including me) and you deserve all the happiness in the world
This content is so powerful for those who are willing to accept, that we all have toxic coping mechanisms and dealt somehow somewhere along the way with traumas and life problem, that leads us to little problems and funktional disorders... And that's life and it's nothing bad or to make a tabu out of it. For me It's very valuable to see her way to deal with the thing she wants to work on. One can just learn from that... THANK YOU Stefanie for being that brave🙏
OMG, you're such an example. Thank you for all the things you've given to us throughout your journey. I'm an orthorexic in recovery and totally understand the struggles while finding balance. Sending you lots of hugs!
I just had a similar conversation like this with my husband about how I had a stomach ulcer in my late teens that caused me to drop a significant amount of weight. I got comments like, "You look amazing!" and "I wish I looked like that!" and I weirdly allowed it to get in the way of my healing, because I thought it meant that people would stop complimenting me, even if the compliments were back-handed.
I heard something from another fitness influencer (Gabby Scheyen) and it really hit: there is no TRACK! There is only a JOURNEY because “track” insinuates that there is only one path that you have to stay on or else you fall off versus a “journey” which means that you can go off the path and explore different paths that suit you
Nicely said, I have come into this state of understanding as well. The learning never stops and there so many directions to walk when you are seeking growth!
Your journey gave me a new perspective on fitness, health, self betterment/love. Thank you for sharing parts of your “all-in” process with us. These videos really helped me.
Congratulations on everything you have accomplished throughout your journey.
Truly inspirational!
Keep giving updates! I find your story around all in and ED recovery so inspiring and relatable. Also, make the content that you feel YOU need to make. Your followers follow YOU for a reason
I was just rewatching all of your old videos. So much love and appreciation for the care you put into your content. Your OGs have nothing but love and support for you ❤️🥰 🤗
Yes!❤️
This is WILD that you posted this today!! I have just returned to therapy and dietitian meetings because of a very similar thing happening. I thought I had "recovered" from my ED, and settled at my set point, but then I lost a bunch of weight after a long stint of antibiotics. I prepared myself for regaining the weight after I stopped the antibiotics, but for some reason... I didn't. So I started to convince myself that the lower weight was my actual set point, and I slipped so fast back into restriction and body checking. I've stayed at the lower weight for about a year, but recently I've stared gaining some weight again and it has been causing EXTREME anxiety, shame, and fear. It's wild how a small thing, like having to take antibiotics and losing weight by accident, can show you how much further you have to go in your journey. But at the same time - I'm so proud of myself for recognizing the issue now, and reaching out for help. I know things will get better soon, but it's really hard. I needed this video now, so thank you
I found your channel when I was recovering from ed, and now that I'm struggling with relapse, you upload this one. It's incredible how much you've helped me. I appreciate every single one of your videos, and would love to see more on this topic♥️
Girl we re with uuuu!! Don't be anxious, don't think too much and just keep shining 🙏🏻
I have been following you since 2017 (around the time I was officially diagnosed with anorexia after struggling in silence for years) and your videos have helped immensely. While I am currently not in recovery from it, watching your videos and your journey has always come as a sort of distraction or comfort. I love seeing your journey to heal your body and help others who are on similar journeys. And I know whatever videos you decide to post from now on will still be enjoyable to me, whether it's a day in the life vlog, full day of eating, advice video, whatever. I hope your journey with healing from anxieties as well as healing your body continues to improve. Stay strong, and thank you for being real 🖤
Good to have you back. I missed your kind voice and sweet smile.
you are such a light in the community Steph thank u for sharing
You are such a sweet person! I related to this a lot, helped me realise I’m not alone . Keep bringing your warm soul to the fitness world Steph 🥰
Hey Stephanie! First of all, thanks for being so honest with us about your all in journey. It’s great to see that your struggling too, even if your all in journey seemed to work perfectly! I’m glad you reminded us that social media doesn’t show you everything. As for your future content, I would love to see days in the life because I would love to see what you do in your job, if you would like to get back to research etc… I wish you all the best and a beautiful day 😘🐝
Honestly Stephanie I’ve gone through an ED and still enjoy all of your content and do not get triggered by you showing your physique. I resonate with you because of you are genuine and authentic. Would love to see what I eat in days, work out routines, vlogs, day in the life, ED community videos, science stuff. Love it all. Keep being yourself and doing what feels natural to you 🙂.
You’re incredible Stephanie, you are bad ass and your true inner beauty radiates on the outside. Being fully transparent is so tough but you’re wise to focus on the long term benefits. Keep doing you- you’re killing it!
Any type of content you make I absolutely love! So please just keep putting out everything I love hearing your journey. Thank you for sharing your struggles, it personally helps me so much! I don’t feel so alone.
Watching your videos I could tell you were still struggling even in the midst of you saying you were healing. But you got this! Everyone has a struggle your just happen to be weight and food. Continue being you!!! I love how expressive you are though because it shows no matter your struggle you never let it keep you down. You are like a ball of fire. Strong, passionate, and an over comer. Keep this mindset and never let anything destroy you not even your own thoughts in moments of weakness. Continue to thrive and grow.. continue to live while being alive. Also you are not perfect no one is but you are great for this journey because you share your flaws. Most UA-cam influencers would not be this raw and honest.
Not that my opinion on you matters, but I’m so proud of you for tackling your struggles and acknowledging them. It’s not easy. But so glad you were honest about it
Just discovered your content- its been so incredibly valuable and eye opening. I can’t say just how much I love your message, your honesty and your strength. Thanks for sharing so openly- know it does make a world of difference. These conversations are sometimes uncomfortable to approach. There’s such support to be found in sharing your own journey, thoughts and feelings
Thank you, Stephanie! I love your videos and you’ve helped me as I danced on the edge of orthorexia and restrictive eating before stumbling on your All In content. I would encourage you to talk about whatever you feel led to discuss and post whatever pics you feel led to post. Your videos are spot on and appreciated. Thank you for your vulnerability on the journey! Telling your story helps me on mine!
Hey Stephanie
I have an eating disorder and you have helped me so much! I think the recovery video's you talk about would be really helpfull for a lot of people .
Thank you for making this video. I stopped weighing myself last July, after I started developing disordered eating. I wanted to nip it in the bud before I caused myself to have a full blown eating disorder. Best decision I ever made. I still suffer from food guilt sometimes, but it is way, way less than what it used to be. People need to know that when they are going through these tough mental times and trying to figure themselves out, that they're not alone. They are never alone ♥️
I’ve brought you up to almost ever girl I know as your journey inspires me everyday to consider loving myself to the level where I can enjoy food even though I’ve struggled with the mental obstacle of guilt for weight gain/loss. Thank you beyond words again, I find your videos between the tides of life and have been watching you since before all in, your story is truly so meaningful to me and I think you should share it anytime you feel called to. (:
I love hearing about your journey with all in and body image - it’s why I followed you! You are such an inspiration 💜
Your “All In” documentations and consistent updates have helped me out so much, and continue to help me in this road to recovery I have been on since 2018. I appreciate your honesty and vocalizing your struggles. As much as it hurts me to know that others are struggling with the same things as I am, I do feel a sense of comfort knowing that I’m not alone.
I really appreciate your honesty. It took you a while to get there, but I’m glad you did and good luck to you. Definitely voting for you to move on and do more vlog style videos or ED experts too
Girl, keep sharing everything you've been sharing. We are here to see YOUR journey which includes your body changing so keep sharing and helping us all with our similar challenges! You are brave and beautiful! 🥰
I love hearing about your all in journey ive struggled with an eating disorder for 14 years and your videos give me inspiration and a voice