10:41 “you weren’t doing poorly enough to get help” this applies to so many women and for me it’s also true with other medical problems. Test results are murky or I “look” healthy so I must be fine. 😢 Thank you for sharing. I haven’t been diagnosed, but I need to take that test. The similarities are too eerie.
My first diagnosis was boarder line ADHD. I went on for a second diagnoses by a top psychiatrist, she diagnosed me in 20 -30 minutes as having classic ADHD. I was 75 that was truly my aha moment.
@@wendyhannan2454 because subjectivity is a big factor.. and who can measure for sure how much disturbance mental issues give us.. . More than "precise" diagnostics, we need a culture of awareness about what we all should look for, in us, in others, and embrace the habits that can improve our life quality for any level of illness / derangement / trauma / etc.
yeah, a weird unfortunate place to be in, not only regarding this topic, and not only regarding health (e.g. social assistance regulations); seen it happen to people dealing with problems like hepatitis.. and other easy problems.. this is a very bad cultural attitude to normalize, since every now and then people also come out with cancers, and with that counter productive attitude of "i thought it was not a big deal", then being preached about how they should have acted sooner.
Thiiiiis, its been hard coming to terms with the fact that not only do i need help, but i want it. I understand that within my privilege i have the opportunity to be diagnosed and prob medicated and I do not plan on loosing it.
@@Dm3qXYWe honestly have to listen to our selves. We know what we need and what would help us, but often stop ourselves because of the comments other people make, but they don’t know the whole story like we do.
I believe ADHD for women often causes shame because we historically have been the administrators in all situations. We plan the party, run the PTA, volunteer on the committee, remember the thank you cards.....all of this requires excellent executive function and so.....I feel I fail as a woman. This disability is especially hard on women.
Thank you so much. I'm 46 and perimenopausal and have been severely suffering with confusion, very poor working memory and executive function. I'm having my own Aha moment this week and your podcasts are amazing for me. Thank you!!
Thank you Katy - unbelievable the harm caused by shaming ADHD sufferers. If you don’t get the tools you can’t do the work. This is a lesson to an impatient world, expecting everyone to keep up when the leadership is sorely lacking. There’s a difference between won’t and can’t. Folks need to get this and get it fast. Our children are going to experience and amplified version of what we’ve been through… we need to pay attention like never before.
That's a good point about the 'driven by a motor' part of the diagnosis. I sort of knew what was meant, the feeling of hyperactivity, but it could be clearer.
The grief for your younger self is so real. SO much of what is mentioned here is so real but that one really stuck out to me. Thank you for creating this
So many things are just me here. I am 40, and I am going through screening for Autism and ADHD along with my kids. It's been a running joke for decades. And my family or friends in the medical and learning function fields have known for so long I had stuff going on but when we were younger it was just "being ditzy" or " "not paying attention". I was studying my ass off and my grades just dropped and dropped and the teachers admitted they had no idea why. They knew after aptitude tests in last junior school I was above average intelligence and I used to be a total whizz as everything... When it starts crumbling it's horrible. And so many people who never got the help they needed missed out on better grades and stuff with tests/final exams. It's so sad x
As a Mexican woman, we often have the stereotype of being hard working people, and don’t get me wrong, the woman in my family have been nothing but hard working (from a machista and harsh background, but nonetheless). It is personally hard to compare myself with the women who surround me and asking “why cant i do that?”.
Oh my god the amount of times I found myself feeling like I was the one on the podcast talking is insane… Ugh. Thank you guys. It’s nice to feel support by not feeling alone in your inside mind, esp when you have lack of support around you. Emotional irregularities are common with me from me just sitting 🪑 bc there’s so much to do. I end up doing nothing. I’m also a pandemic diagnosis patient but looking back, I’ve realized my entire life could’ve been different had I known and had treatment and therapy
10:41 “you weren’t doing poorly enough to get help” this applies to so many women and for me it’s also true with other medical problems. Test results are murky or I “look” healthy so I must be fine. 😢 Thank you for sharing. I haven’t been diagnosed, but I need to take that test. The similarities are too eerie.
My first diagnosis was boarder line ADHD. I went on for a second diagnoses by a top psychiatrist, she diagnosed me in 20 -30 minutes as having classic ADHD. I was 75 that was truly my aha moment.
@@wendyhannan2454 because subjectivity is a big factor.. and who can measure for sure how much disturbance mental issues give us.. . More than "precise" diagnostics, we need a culture of awareness about what we all should look for, in us, in others, and embrace the habits that can improve our life quality for any level of illness / derangement / trauma / etc.
yeah, a weird unfortunate place to be in, not only regarding this topic, and not only regarding health (e.g. social assistance regulations); seen it happen to people dealing with problems like hepatitis.. and other easy problems.. this is a very bad cultural attitude to normalize, since every now and then people also come out with cancers, and with that counter productive attitude of "i thought it was not a big deal", then being preached about how they should have acted sooner.
Thiiiiis, its been hard coming to terms with the fact that not only do i need help, but i want it. I understand that within my privilege i have the opportunity to be diagnosed and prob medicated and I do not plan on loosing it.
@@Dm3qXYWe honestly have to listen to our selves. We know what we need and what would help us, but often stop ourselves because of the comments other people make, but they don’t know the whole story like we do.
I believe ADHD for women often causes shame because we historically have been the administrators in all situations. We plan the party, run the PTA, volunteer on the committee, remember the thank you cards.....all of this requires excellent executive function and so.....I feel I fail as a woman. This disability is especially hard on women.
Thank you so much. I'm 46 and perimenopausal and have been severely suffering with confusion, very poor working memory and executive function. I'm having my own Aha moment this week and your podcasts are amazing for me. Thank you!!
Thank you Katy - unbelievable the harm caused by shaming ADHD sufferers. If you don’t get the tools you can’t do the work. This is a lesson to an impatient world, expecting everyone to keep up when the leadership is sorely lacking. There’s a difference between won’t and can’t. Folks need to get this and get it fast. Our children are going to experience and amplified version of what we’ve been through… we need to pay attention like never before.
That's a good point about the 'driven by a motor' part of the diagnosis. I sort of knew what was meant, the feeling of hyperactivity, but it could be clearer.
The grief for your younger self is so real. SO much of what is mentioned here is so real but that one really stuck out to me. Thank you for creating this
We're so glad you found us!
So many things are just me here. I am 40, and I am going through screening for Autism and ADHD along with my kids. It's been a running joke for decades. And my family or friends in the medical and learning function fields have known for so long I had stuff going on but when we were younger it was just "being ditzy" or " "not paying attention". I was studying my ass off and my grades just dropped and dropped and the teachers admitted they had no idea why. They knew after aptitude tests in last junior school I was above average intelligence and I used to be a total whizz as everything... When it starts crumbling it's horrible. And so many people who never got the help they needed missed out on better grades and stuff with tests/final exams. It's so sad x
Yes! I can totally relate to feeling I am in Suspended Animation when others are around and the anxiousness of having an afternoon appointment!
As a Mexican woman, we often have the stereotype of being hard working people, and don’t get me wrong, the woman in my family have been nothing but hard working (from a machista and harsh background, but nonetheless). It is personally hard to compare myself with the women who surround me and asking “why cant i do that?”.
Thank you
Oh my god the amount of times I found myself feeling like I was the one on the podcast talking is insane…
Ugh. Thank you guys. It’s nice to feel support by not feeling alone in your inside mind, esp when you have lack of support around you. Emotional irregularities are common with me from me just sitting 🪑 bc there’s so much to do. I end up doing nothing. I’m also a pandemic diagnosis patient but looking back, I’ve realized my entire life could’ve been different had I known and had treatment and therapy