I have no desire to be intimate.. the last guy I was kind of thinking about it.. I told him we need to get tested and he said no and doesn’t remember when he got tested last… that is some wild sh1t
My daughter is 18 YEARS OLD. I stopped having sex 18 YEARS ago. I told men I don't have SEX WITH anyone and they STOP TALKING TO me. Every time. I usually get 2 weeks before they ghost me for not giving my body to a complete stranger
@@BrothaJohn-br2hd I don't know, because she is an intelligent and engaging human being, and probably has a lot of wisdom to offer because she's a great mother. You are lost. You have forgotten what women can do besides offer you sex and children. Sex without love is an abomination. I would even venture to call it a type of one-sided grape. that's what it says in your holy books, because you have forgotten that.❤❤
The way he treats his mother DOES not depict how he will treat his kids. Thats an old adage that’s not necessarily true. Some mama’s boys are the most irresponsible and always run home to mommy who will defend them.
That's why I don't want children. Men are quick to switch up after a baby too. I'd argue it's their favorite thing to do honestly. Because what can the woman do at that point? She's trapped. For better or worse. And even if she leaves him, they're connected forever. Children are the living representation of soul ties and more women need to look at sex as a spiritual act than a physical one.
I'm not conne with to anyone I dint want to be connected to regardless if we do have children together. I have not spoke to my oldest child's father in 23 years. Not a word. And she is 24 Her relationship with him is her relationship I am not part of it at all.
I was 4 when I read it was painful and it was a punishment. I was programmed with that thought. I never changed my mind. Plus I had I mother who told her daughters to never have kids. Two of us listened. Best thing I ever did. I'm not a man clown either. 🇯🇲
@@food4thought692Some, of us learn but not all for what ever reason. It’s like only a select few us got the child free memo early and the rest where on aware of such ideas. And they only got the memo after becoming pregnant.
@@food4thought692 It’s a sad reality that if you want to be a mother, you have to be happy to do it in the way it typically ends up: with the man being less invested.
My son's father left me at 6 months to be with his ex. They got married and divorced in a year and a half. He tried to come back to me after leaving me to raise a newborn by myself with no family. I told him I would NEVER get back with him I'd rather be single
😂. Hilarious. Thanks Lord for bible study class. Thanks Lord for your peace. Thanks Lord for your salvation. Thanks Lord single no kids. Thanks Lord for your peace. 😅
I’m really starting to believe that bearing children is some sort of karma that some women face. Because most women find themselves pregnant without having planned for it. 🤔 They get pregnant and then they realize, “ oh shit, what did I get myself into?”. It seems like only a select few of us are self-aware enough to see the potential misery/setbacks that comes with motherhood
@@ownsouthfla yeah, so many women walk into motherhood without thinking it through and with the wrong man at that. It’s like a trap or something. Very strange, I feel for them though.
@@ownsouthflaIm thinking the same thing too. It’s like when some women always end up in domestic violence situations and get trauma that last a long time its some sort of karmic debt 😢
Children are blessings no matter what. I had my daughter young and her dad ain’t shit but there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t thank the lord for my only child. My daughter. My bestfriend So that was a good karma burden. So worth it!
My baby daddy don't take me to the hospital when I was having contraction. He said the baby is supposed to be here next week. I said no Kaiser's nurse said I need to go to triage. He went back to sleep, I called my mom and she got me a Lyft while in another state. I was 4 centimeter dilated....
Being married doesn’t show you anything but how women are single mothers even in marriage. I encourage women to get married 1st at least so you can 1st see how much most men will fail you while claiming to “love” you so deeply. That way you don’t have a child thinking shh is sweet. They aren’t socialized like us. They not like us. 9 times out of 10 having a child with a man married or not will not benefit you or that child. Preserve yourself and guard your lives ladies. PLEASE! ❤️
On the flip side, if you truly want kids, don’t feel hopeless. A man doesn’t have to be a unicorn - you just plan around the reality of them, find a man who is great for that standard, and build yourself up a strong network first.
THANK YOU!!! people over glorify 2 parent household but i grew up with a married single mother who did it all from breadwinning to childrearing to financial planning & budgeting, to cooking & cleaning, to household & life mgmt to this day now that they’re getting elderly. She was & is exploited & abused. He did little to none, had a bad attitude with her + his kids & was disengaged. It damaged my siblings & i in ways that are everlasting now into adulthood. We are traumatized & emotionally neglected. My mom is a work mule to him. Do NOT fall into the fairytale that'll be good if you're married & thats the trick to avoiding deadbeat dads or suffering for your kids & yourself. NOT THE CASE!
@@EeeeVeee231 I truly believe what you described is the case for most of us who actually grew up with dad in the home. I’ve only seen a few cases where the dad wasn’t using the mom as a mule. Many married couples are hiding the truth to maintain an image and preserve the social currency of marriage, to the detriment of their children and the mother’s mental/physical health.
@@EeeeVeee231Exactly! Some women act like being married is a Flex! Plenty of married women are STILL single Moms: bread winner, doing lion's share of all the household work, etc. And best believe, he is STILL cheating on her.😒
Ppl always say how they treat their mother is how they will treat u …. 😂 not true he will treat her like royalty and will still crack u up side your head 😂😂😂 don’t believe that mess.
But there are some tell tell signs you shouldn't miss...👀 Of course they won't do them dirty like they did you but there will be some red flags you'll see if you're keen earlier on...
@@mskabue true, 😆some ppl are master manipulators tho and they will create a character or façade up until they know they have you n a vulnerable position.
The person you knew before you got pregnant is sadly not the person they really are. 😢 you can know them for years… Even grew up with them and still they are not the person you met after the baby is here.
@@queenrenagoddessoflovegood7757Facts! Thats why I hate when people shame women for having kids with a man who turns out to be a deadbeat and horrible father. Men are really good at deceiving and they will show the real them after kids are involved because they figure you won’t go anywhere.
@@KaiMoni444 yes, you only see their true self & true nature only after a child. Their showing their true nature to child free women because these women some how see them before being trapped with a child & their angry with them for seeing them before. Some of them will still try to be fake until a child comes, then they show real colors
If you want to have a child with a “good man” you need to be able to see into the future so you can tell if he’ll stick around and be an active present father. Protect your wombs. Don’t give anyone kids
A good way to know a man is to know what people he hangs around with. What social media he follows. Will he let you see who he is texting with? Do his words match his actions?
My ex husband said he loved me. Said he really wanted to be with me. Said that he'd love and care for me. I have 3 kids with him. And I will regret this for the rest of my life. He was abusive and treated me like a doormat. He was a mamas boy and he was ugly. Do not think mamas boys and ugly men will treat you better. He treat me worse than any man has. I had only had good relationships with respect and love. This ugly mamas boy showed me what abuse was emotional and physical. Showed me that I didn't have options. Etc. How he treats you is how he feels about you. DO NOT SETTLE.
Whether married or single, before you have kids, a woman must think and ascertain in their heart that if push comes to shove, can you look after these kids on your own without bitterness, regrets or spite. I have seen women who are more annoying and dramatic because they cannot separate a failed relationship from co-parenting.
Clueless people STILL wonder why more and more women are choosing to be man- free and opt out of motherhood altogether. My ❤ goes out to these broken women. Still smh
if i could go back i wouldn't have a single child to my name. I will say, i have grandkids and i don't deal with my daughter's father nor anyone related to him. When we have parties, they never come around and if they do i don't. We are connected by sharing grandkids not blood. I don't have to ever deal with my children's fathers for NO reason if i don't want to. When graduation time came, no father was present, when our grands were born, no grandfather was present. When he visited the hospital i wasn't present and that's fine with me. thinking you Must be connected is the #1 problem if we have made the mistake of having kids with the wrong person!
@@loyaltyb71052 wish I'd stayed a virgin. I love my daughter. But men allowed me to see the real. When I started telling them I am lonely an want to be with someone. But when they realize I'm not having sex in 2 days or 2 weeks they disappear
As a 26 yo woman, my mom told me no babies with ANYONE until I was MARRIED! Trust it may not stop anyone from cheating but it’s help the fall when it’s all over. And more personally as a black woman, I took my mom’s words very seriously. And trust I met all the wrong men, money or “broke”. I cried over men I can’t remember the names of now. And now my boyfriend of 3yrs just proposed to me, and he wants a future with me (hoping for some kids at some point). My family adores him, and yes he’s a black man (he has no kids yet either) still making his way professionally but guess what so am I. With no kids chasing me right now - amen. It’s ok to have fun yall, just be safe about it.
Just remember: #1. Men benefit the most from being married (You'll be his cook, maid, child bearer, s3x slave, counselor, baby sitter, financial planner, etc. All whole you still work a 9-5, ETC....and he'll simply be your "provider"). #2. Agreeing to marriage is the same as agreeing that you also have the POTENTIAL to one day be made into a single mother by this same man.
I got physically and financially and emotionally abused during my last trimester of pregnancy and almost miscarried and died in labor i also had a c section and i was robbed and stalked until my my baby was four years old it taken me 9 years to rebuild my life and im still rebuilding but having a kid with the wrong man not only ruin you it affect the kids too dont do it
@@imeldangadzania5212 It's always you pick-ME-shias 😂 I bet you $$$ that your man is either TERRIBLE to you OR cheating on you. Private investigators need to be utilized more by you gals LOL
Married now. But I entered my marriage with a child from a high school relationship. I had some dark times but I made out of that. But our child is now 17 and I still have to interact with their father and I abhor it. I’ve moved on and still have to see this person. The woman in the video is right. It never stops! I’ll be seeing this person at my child’s graduation, possible weddings, and we may be grandparents. Sickening. 🤮🤢
I never even thought of the grand coparenting! I can’t imagine having to see my high school sweetheart or any other ex. Glad you moved on and leveled up. Men do anything to stay attached to us. It’s sad.
I don’t understand this. My body physically will not let me have s*x unless I feel safe. My male partner was very disrespectful towards me and to this day I can’t make myself sleep with him. Commitment, respect and security are a MUST.
@@fluffysox6072 I really wish ppl can stop jumping to conclusions! Not every situation is that easy! I've worked in Community Outreach, mental health and transitional programs! The level of danger I've seen on a regular basis when women tried to leave and got caught! We've already lost 6 more women this month! Smh 🤦♀️
“being married shows your child what love is supposed to look like” my parents were married and i saw my dad try to push my mom to her death…at 5 years old before she took me to school. that was just the time I actually SAW. Marriage only guarantees that you are married and divorce is always an option even then.
I’m very sorry that was your experience, on the flipside you have individuals like myself who got to witness their parents having a relationship with ups and downs but overall healthy for decades. There are negatives and positives with everybody
Crazy how this video popped on my timeline. I texted a paragraph to my son's father because he came in the house asking to go to his house. Do you know this man didn't even respond?? At this point I'm done allowing him to play with my son's emotions. My son is also autistic. He needs consistency and not someone who only gets him maybe 5x's a year smfh.
Abstinence is key. You had a narc not a man, babe. It is a difference but girl @ 18 sounds like me @19. Even when you wait for marriage sometimes you’re going to go through it.
Genetics are funny👏 absolutely! Sometimes the child will act like their dad or one of his relatives, no matter their gender and I feel like this is why so many mother-daughter relationships have tension. The moms didn't mind dating a man who behaved in a certain way but hate their daughters for having that personality. Which is a bit crazy cause you liked that personality enough to carry his DNA, why are you annoyed by it now?
Listen, it’s impossible to know how a guy will show up after birth and marriage. No matter how much you think you should’ve known, hindsight is 20/20. I do not know anyone that doesn’t have some regret at times at the partner they picked. I think the stats are 75% that at some point, people wished they picked different partners.
This sounds bad, but men both historically and culturally were never meant to care for women (wives and daughters), in the way we expect them to now. That’s why big families and close communities were important- the women take care of each other. Relocating for jobs, having children later, and grandparents who think 60 is the new 40 have made a community that cares for moms and babies harder so women have to rely on their partners more. What we’re seeing now isn’t new. My grandmother who is Black married an air force veteran, had 7 living children, worked as a housekeeper, cooked every single meal, stayed thin, dressed nice, kept a clean house, and my grandfather STILL beat her all the time. Eventually he left her when the first five kids left the house. She raised the last two alone. My grandmother’s sister lived nearby and they helped each other along with another woman in the neighborhood. Men have never been keepers of women- not even in the Bible.
Wow this was so interesting to read. I will continue to remain single and childfree. The Bible says man and woman are to be 1 but it seems we’ve lost ourselves along the way.
Thank you for posting these videos, I am so glad young women are seeing this. I am sixty years old and I have no children and no regrets at all. You do not have to have children to be a real woman. Although absolutely magical, the ability to have children is one of the least interesting things about women in general, in my humble opinion.❤❤
@@Highpoweredwig to me? It means I'm magnetic and males are electric. Male energy projects and pierces; Female energy receives and envelops. It means I'm naturally "psychic"/connected to the OIC (One Infinite Creator) and have had to fight my way up to every glass ceiling at every fancy job I've had in my career. It was before the wrathful and helpful Feminismzzz went "global." It means I chose not to have children because I was too career-focused, came from a crazy family and the foster care system, and too self-focused to be a good mother - to be the mother, I wanted and needed, but never had, like so many folks - because I've never experienced good mothering after my mother got bored when I was no longer a toddler; she only liked babies (big family, Irish Catholic), and I didn't want to repeat the Abus3/Abandonment Cycle. Being a woman means I was hammer-formed by life to be able to withstand extreme life conditions. Being a woman means I treat UA-cam comments like academic novels because I talk too much. Thanks for reading. Being a grandma-aged woman is amazing! It is nothing to fear. As long as you take care of yourself, you will enjoy life very much when you get older.... ....unless the world goes even more completely insane. That's a possibility. Unfortunately. Being an older woman has allowed me to experience the joys of menopause! It's nothing to fear. It's the greatest gift because you completely stop caring about men or women, or whatever your preferences are. Being a woman to me means being an earthling connected to each and every other earthling in this weird game. 👩🏻🎨 Hope ya like riddles! ❤️❤️
THE FAMILY, OBSERVE THE FAMILY!!!! For those who didn’t listen to the message. The family will tell you EVERYTHING you need to know about who you are breeding with. PAY ATTENTION. Genetics can be funny hunny!
Yup! I observe EVERYBODY'S relationship! I pay attention to the women, men, children, parents, uncles, aunts etc! No one is exempt! I pay attention to all of the little things, the dynamics, any double standards, generational traits, habits, mentalities, every red flag is important! Smh 🤦♀️
Why would women rather have a kid than marry? A child is permanent and a marriage is not, you can just leave!!! I really don't get this!!! 😂😂😂 it's so wild!!! I would choose a childless marriage any day, instead of being trapped with that man forever because of co parenting & seeing his face daily on that child....
@@ezy78667 I wouldn’t choose either to be fair marriage and children its not worth it!!! Thanks to my dad’s family he taught me from young that marriage isn’t worth it. He physically abused my mother, couldn’t hold down a job due to his drinking and heavy smoking, stole money from her, strangled me when I ran to call the police when he was beating her up. He cheated on my mum regularly and had affairs with different women For a woman It ultimately comes down to the man she chooses and most of the time you meet their representative in the early stages so you don’t know what you are truly dealing with. You can’t go wrong if you choose yourself = freedom peace, prosperity, and happiness.
@@ezy78667 The biggest and most important decision a woman will ever make in her lifetime is not children or marriage. It’s the man she chooses good luck!🤞
I’m not having kids until we take care of the kids that are already here, and stop genocide in Gaza! We need to be thinking about what world we are raising these children up in.❤
Safaree is an example of what it looks like when you ONLY have lust for someone and marry them. Very very very dangerous thing to do. He didn't make an emotional connection to her at all
He’s bitter he didn’t get Nicky Minaj pregnant instead. He would have been the same jobless scrub running around babysitting like she got now. I don’t feel sorry for Erica though bc she’s a colorstruck bitch.
Jep LMAO especially do not have abortion part, like lady this would actually prevent the whole situation from escalating further. Religious fruitcake 😂
its not a accident, they just lack taking responsibility for their action and they dont care. Their primal function is to spread their seed where ever they can
Thank you science and planned parenthood for choices. I’m 38 and the next ten years of my life, I gotten an IUD. No children and none of the rest for me. I seen some patterns in people that are a hell no. If you even breathe wrong around me, I’m not dealing with dat sht. I’m looking at everything even your health and I will judge you upon that. You drink, you smoke, play video games, over eat, gamble, you have any type of drug or sex addiction, you a mommas boy, you don’t know how to clean or organize, don’t know how to save money,in a weird religion or cult, dont workout, dont eat healthy,don’t have time for the lord is a No to me.
Single mothers who change their attitude about being a single mother turns out super achieving kids. Kids holding bachelor's, master's, or doctorate degrees by age 17. Most single mothers didn't plan to be. But the father leaving doesn't stop the show. They're not important, so stop making a fuss over them. Consider adopting. Abandoned children need love. You can be a mother without the male baby trap drama.
I didn't find out until after I had my children and was enrolled in parenting classes; (yes i'm old) that the brain doesn't finish growing until your 25 and it is the front lobe for reasoning and judgement, and when they have enough past memories to look back on to make better decisions. so when they are faced with trauma like pregnancy from pre-adult 16-25 it floods the brain with stress hormones while they are already dealing with end of puberty hormones, just when the body is coming into itself hormones collide and when there is trauma the brain it kinda freezes at that age until they heal.
I can see that. That’s why women who have kids young tend to lack character and integrity because they have trouble self reflecting due to hormones and brain energy that needs to go to the child for its survival.
In the event you did pick a real loser, like I did, thank goodness, a bad parent can be remedied thru the courts. If the guy is a dead beat, just don’t expect anything, and move on. Eventually, usually by the time a child is five, a dead beat abusive person would’ve lost interest long time ago and is estranged from their kid by this age. And by interest, I mean more than for pretend, pictures and showing up for Xmas. If the person isn’t consistent and contributing to welfare of you and your child, just stop giving them any time of day. Get a good lawyer and orchestrate everything in your favor. When I divorced, I controlled the whole process and wrote the divorce settlement with my attorney. Deadbeats don’t have a leg to stand on, all the power is yours, so don’t give any of it up. After some time has gone by, no contact, or support ( usually more than six months) this is considered abandonment. If the guy is abusive , it’s constructive abandonment forcing you to stay away. File for termination of parental rights and just move on. Being older and wiser, you will pick a better partner next time. If people show you who they really are, believe them, accept their inadequacies, and don’t expect anything from them. Then as time goes on, you’ll find peace and happiness and a better partner. I did.
Marriage, baby making and keeping a relationship are VERY DIFFERENT THINGS. TREAT THEM INDEPENDENTLY. MIX THEM AT YOUR OWN RISK. LADIES, please. I love giving birth but honey I don't keep the men. Am a one direction b****.
Even in marriages we must be careful in deciding to have children. Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take your time procreating. Having children within the first 3 years of my marriage would have put major strain on it. Now that we’re almost a decade into our marriage, we approach family planning with a calm mind and anticipation because we’ve done the work in our marriage and on ourselves to prepare for parenthood.
I really wish i could of heard this wisdom and had elder guidance bk when i altered the trajectories of my teenage life during my motherhood stage...i love all my children but so many things would change.
I’ve been saying this for years. Ppl make marriage out to be so special. What’s so special about submitting under a man (historically men not respecting women’s values ever) and then leave with half of my $#!+ and STILL left to be a single mother. Divorce is worse than being a “baby mama”. Either way, in my eyes, it’s no sin to us women; we’re still fulfilling our role as a mother that nature has assigned us to be.
Everything will fall on you alone raising that child alone without any help or support coming from him as he will neglect and abandon the child for you to raise and will be nowhere to be found helping you or being in the child's life to make sure that child has a father figure. He will be absent . I am a single mom with 2 kids and non of their fathers in their lives because this men run away from responsibility of being fathers. Protect your wombs and use protection and dont allow a man trap you with pregnancy on first date. Not all mothers are mothers. You maybe mentally strong to raise those kids alone but not all mothers are like you and will take out their anger on their kids because their fathers didn't stay to help and will traumatise them. How a man treats you is how he treats his mother. That man hates his mother. My son has sickle cell disease and his father is absent and never there in his life and I went no contact because he treated our son like our son was his enemy. I am grateful for having a strong boy/warrior and he has a strong mother who loves him more than anything. I went no contact with my ex and stayed no contact.
Absolutely, my husband one day was like hey lets have a baby. We're getting married anyway. We were engaged at the time and hadn't even started planning the wedding. I said absolutely not I've done everything in my life the hard way, out of order i refuse to let this be one of them. Marriage first then children. Make him make the commitment because even with children the man doesn't have nearly as much skin in the game as the woman unless you're married and even them women are risking more to have kids. If he's not willing to tie his whole existence (physical mental emotional spiritual financial) to yours with that little piece of paper he's looking for an out from the jump. Yes, him marrying you doesn't guarantee that he'll stick around and be a good parent but having that piece of paper gives you more options in making him help you. We ended up deciding with the state of the world we're not going to bring any more kids into the world. I have a stepson and that's enough. He's a fantastic father but things are too uncertain. We married in 2018 and are still married.
I don’t feel bad for none of them. STOP HAVING BABY DADDIES WTF. My parents have been married 30+ years I’m 33 married 7 years and JUST started considering children. Yall just sleep around and expect no consequences. Then advocate for not marrying men… but have no problem giving away your body. Smfh nah I don’t have any empathy for this.
I bet your parents are miserable. Long marriages don't mean SH!T.... And I bet you $$$ that if you do a private investigation, you'll find out your spouse is cheating in you. STOP THE 🧢 CAAAAAP 😆
I learned my lesson with 1. I don’t judge but I don’t see how women are out here having babies with every dude they get with. I couldn’t do it. 1 babydaddy is enough, I can’t imagine having to deal with multiple men.
My ex took custody got alimony and child support and took all my belongings even stole my truck 2 times. Cops wouldn't help said I was his property. Do not admit u fucked them or its a misdemeanor when they beat u up. If u say u didn't fuck them it a felony! Don't marry
Yup, Mines is sooooo hatful n so evil He spiritually attacks Me, In return attacks OUR Daughter…. But GoD Is Good! My ancestors Bc what you do to others will be done unto YOU….. And I’m watchin in 5D ALL those things be returned to sender. Smfh
I think a lot of peoples issue is making sure you and the other person have the same moral values by not just talking but watching how they move in life. Then you have to release control of another person and this perception of what you think a mother or father ought to be. Women in particular think they can change a man or tell a man how to parent. Trying to control a man is a problem that I feel a lot of women need to access in themselves. I realized I don’t get to control by child’s father and our relationship has been awesome. Self WORK sets the tone! How he does things is not how I do things and I am ok with that. We are great coparents and friends. However, on the other hand the man I’m dating I see his coparent has not healed herself and constantly blames everything and everyone. It’s damaging to the kids. It’s sad. Self love is really important. Once you truly have healed ,that you know it’s NOT what people do to you it’s how you choose to deal with people!
What happened to Kee Kee Palmer? Bc I know it's not that he sent that msg out about her at the Usher concert. Bc if it is. Yes, he handled that wrong publicly but it was a disagreement in a relationship. It wasn't warfare that ppl act like it was and doesn't make him an unfit bomb for her or the child. And her being a celebrity doesn't make it cool for her to be lightly dressed and all up on another man. So what happened that I don't know about?
Even if God takes the other parent then his family will probably try to reach out to you. I hope my kids dad is taken out. He is a horrible human being. So yeah be careful who you have kids with because you might be here saying you hope they’re dead. Like me. I mean it too.
Hey, I just wanted to let you know that your feelings are completely valid. Sometimes life would be a lot easier if the other parent was just completely out of the picture. In my case, my ex passing away would be a blessing for me and my child as awful as it may sound…but it’s the truth.
@@1bluegreen2 I would like to move away, currently I’m being dragged in and out of court because he’s trying to make it so I cannot leave the current state we live in and to drag out him not needing to pay child support that is court ordered.
I, at 41 years old am just learning of Karmic Children. This is when a person has a child with someone who was not meant to be part of their destiny. This is highly spiritual. I have my own children attacking me and part of it is Karma from what I did to my own parents which is a whole other story but this is Realllyyyy... Spiritual. It will shatter your life to pieces. It will even unlive you.
These are just a bunch of pick me women and women who center men, not themselves. Like where are their fathers and brothers?? Where is their actual family support?? They cling to men they know are no good to be with 🙄🙄 most baby mothers were very desperate and had low standards or no standards 💯 Be responsible and put God at the center of your life not men ‼️
Celibacy saves holes and souls
lol! But true.
3 years celibate right here and counting
I have no desire to be intimate.. the last guy I was kind of thinking about it.. I told him we need to get tested and he said no and doesn’t remember when he got tested last… that is some wild sh1t
@@hayaq9991 honey that was a HUGe red flag! Good for you for asking and standing your ground. These men will lie like crazy.
AMEN
My daughter is 18 YEARS OLD. I stopped having sex 18 YEARS ago. I told men I don't have SEX WITH anyone and they STOP TALKING TO me. Every time. I usually get 2 weeks before they ghost me for not giving my body to a complete stranger
Why would they keep talking to you?
@@BrothaJohn-br2hd I don't know, because she is an intelligent and engaging human being, and probably has a lot of wisdom to offer because she's a great mother.
You are lost. You have forgotten what women can do besides offer you sex and children.
Sex without love is an abomination. I would even venture to call it a type of one-sided grape. that's what it says in your holy books, because you have forgotten that.❤❤
THERE are people who are asexual. Its rare but they exist.@@BrothaJohn-br2hd
😮😂😅 Men don’t realize how they traumatize women EVERY SINGLE DAY.
@@MettleHeartsSlay Reject them like you do the men you find boring
The way he treats his mother DOES not depict how he will treat his kids. Thats an old adage that’s not necessarily true. Some mama’s boys are the most irresponsible and always run home to mommy who will defend them.
Yes 🙌
That’s right, some of the moms enable their son’s bad behaviour and blame the wife/girlfriend (who she’s secretly in competition with).
🎯🎯🎯
True but if they are abusive to their mom they are abusive to you
@@mskabueexactly😢
Especially when they like to claim they are a grown man
Pregnancy is a woman's most vulnerable time of her life and she should be respected and loved.❤
Not only that but even sleeping with these dyrty bandits most of them DL and full of fec.bact.and vir.etc 😷
Pregnancy should be sacred everywhere, like it is for the mosuo and other matriarchies. 💯❤️
Exactly most vulnerable time 😅
Exactly 💯
Preach ❤
37 child free and sucka freeeeeee 😂❤
🤸🏾♂️🤸🏾🤸🏾♀️🏆🏆🏆
Yes yes yes yes yes yes
42 and ChildFree
Yes!!!!!! Part of the winning team too!!!
Heavy on the sucka free 👩🏽🍼🚫
That's why I don't want children. Men are quick to switch up after a baby too. I'd argue it's their favorite thing to do honestly. Because what can the woman do at that point? She's trapped. For better or worse. And even if she leaves him, they're connected forever. Children are the living representation of soul ties and more women need to look at sex as a spiritual act than a physical one.
I'm not conne with to anyone I dint want to be connected to regardless if we do have children together. I have not spoke to my oldest child's father in 23 years. Not a word. And she is 24 Her relationship with him is her relationship I am not part of it at all.
This is why I decided to be child-free when I was 7 years old
I was 4 when I read it was painful and it was a punishment. I was programmed with that thought. I never changed my mind. Plus I had I mother who told her daughters to never have kids. Two of us listened. Best thing I ever did. I'm not a man clown either. 🇯🇲
Same! I was a fence sitter for awhile but once you really observe the imbalance of motherhood vs. fatherhood roles you learn quickly.
You were wise beyond your years. It took me until around 24 to realize I didn't want children or marriage.
@@food4thought692Some, of us learn but not all for what ever reason.
It’s like only a select few us got the child free memo early and the rest where on aware of such ideas. And they only got the memo after becoming pregnant.
@@food4thought692 It’s a sad reality that if you want to be a mother, you have to be happy to do it in the way it typically ends up: with the man being less invested.
My son's father left me at 6 months to be with his ex. They got married and divorced in a year and a half. He tried to come back to me after leaving me to raise a newborn by myself with no family. I told him I would NEVER get back with him I'd rather be single
😂. Hilarious. Thanks Lord for bible study class. Thanks Lord for your peace. Thanks Lord for your salvation. Thanks Lord single no kids. Thanks Lord for your peace. 😅
Yo fault 😂
You deserve better. Love yourself and your baby enjoy life don't let people drag u down
@@cyncerevideos5111You sound slow. How is that her fault?
Good for you. 👏👏👏
I feel for these women. I'm thankful that I'm single and childree.
I have one kid and learned my lesson. Some of these ladies will have 2,3,4+ kids with a no good man that never married them
Same here one and done.
Yes same here, one child and never again. As long as I live I will never birth another man’s child it’s not worth it.
That's just setting multiple people up for trauma , pain , abuse like what ...!!! 😮
Thanks Lord for girlfriends. Thanks Lord for your salvation. Thanks Lord for your peace. Thanks Lord single no kids. Thanks Lord. Amen.
Me too, one and done.@@jenniferray509
I’m really starting to believe that bearing children is some sort of karma that some women face. Because most women find themselves pregnant without having planned for it. 🤔
They get pregnant and then they realize, “ oh shit, what did I get myself into?”.
It seems like only a select few of us are self-aware enough to see the potential misery/setbacks that comes with motherhood
I’ve said this, but differently. We all will receive some sort of burden but a lifetime burden truly seems karmic.
@@ownsouthfla yeah, so many women walk into motherhood without thinking it through and with the wrong man at that. It’s like a trap or something. Very strange, I feel for them though.
@@ownsouthflaIm thinking the same thing too. It’s like when some women always end up in domestic violence situations and get trauma that last a long time its some sort of karmic debt 😢
Children are blessings no matter what. I had my daughter young and her dad ain’t shit but there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t thank the lord for my only child. My daughter. My bestfriend So that was a good karma burden. So worth it!
@@Baelynnxoxwhat karmic debt ??? Causes millions of women to be in DV situations??
My baby daddy don't take me to the hospital when I was having contraction. He said the baby is supposed to be here next week. I said no Kaiser's nurse said I need to go to triage.
He went back to sleep, I called my mom and she got me a Lyft while in another state.
I was 4 centimeter dilated....
Such an unfortunate situation 😭
Some men can be very cruel!
Well ..his sleep was MORE important smdh Sorry that happened, and hope you were strong enough to leave him
So sorry. Glad you and your child made it thru. Best to you!
Did you leave him tho?
Being married doesn’t show you anything but how women are single mothers even in marriage. I encourage women to get married 1st at least so you can 1st see how much most men will fail you while claiming to “love” you so deeply. That way you don’t have a child thinking shh is sweet. They aren’t socialized like us. They not like us. 9 times out of 10 having a child with a man married or not will not benefit you or that child. Preserve yourself and guard your lives ladies. PLEASE! ❤️
I’m this
On the flip side, if you truly want kids, don’t feel hopeless. A man doesn’t have to be a unicorn - you just plan around the reality of them, find a man who is great for that standard, and build yourself up a strong network first.
THANK YOU!!! people over glorify 2 parent household but i grew up with a married single mother who did it all from breadwinning to childrearing to financial planning & budgeting, to cooking & cleaning, to household & life mgmt to this day now that they’re getting elderly. She was & is exploited & abused. He did little to none, had a bad attitude with her + his kids & was disengaged. It damaged my siblings & i in ways that are everlasting now into adulthood. We are traumatized & emotionally neglected. My mom is a work mule to him. Do NOT fall into the fairytale that'll be good if you're married & thats the trick to avoiding deadbeat dads or suffering for your kids & yourself. NOT THE CASE!
@@EeeeVeee231 I truly believe what you described is the case for most of us who actually grew up with dad in the home. I’ve only seen a few cases where the dad wasn’t using the mom as a mule. Many married couples are hiding the truth to maintain an image and preserve the social currency of marriage, to the detriment of their children and the mother’s mental/physical health.
@@EeeeVeee231Exactly!
Some women act like being married is a Flex!
Plenty of married women are STILL single Moms: bread winner, doing lion's share of all the household work, etc.
And best believe, he is STILL cheating on her.😒
Ppl always say how they treat their mother is how they will treat u …. 😂 not true he will treat her like royalty and will still crack u up side your head 😂😂😂 don’t believe that mess.
But there are some tell tell signs you shouldn't miss...👀 Of course they won't do them dirty like they did you but there will be some red flags you'll see if you're keen earlier on...
@@mskabue true, 😆some ppl are master manipulators tho and they will create a character or façade up until they know they have you n a vulnerable position.
@@jasminenicole6025
I COMPLETELY agree with you. There are some straight up Son-Husbands out in these skreets (streets) LOL
Some of them hate their moms too and hide it well.
@@jasminenicole6025 I agree we have some men who can hide it well FR FR before you know it you'll be in deep shit with him
The person you knew before you got pregnant is sadly not the person they really are. 😢 you can know them for years… Even grew up with them and still they are not the person you met after the baby is here.
💯; after pregnancy the real them comes out, you see men true self
@@queenrenagoddessoflovegood7757Facts! Thats why I hate when people shame women for having kids with a man who turns out to be a deadbeat and horrible father. Men are really good at deceiving and they will show the real them after kids are involved because they figure you won’t go anywhere.
@@KaiMoni444 yes, you only see their true self & true nature only after a child. Their showing their true nature to child free women because these women some how see them before being trapped with a child & their angry with them for seeing them before. Some of them will still try to be fake until a child comes, then they show real colors
@@KaiMoni444. Demons.
Unfortunately, sometimes the best thing a baby daddy can do is leave.
💯
I’m 25 and fearful of having a baby with ANY MAN.
I understand you well! There are just way too many weirdo men out there, and most of them would cheat on you and wouldn't take care of the baby.
As you should be. Lifetime responsibilities is hella scary.
@@ownsouthflaexactly
Yes you need to be very careful Sis....if you're fearful it means you're on the right track...having kids with the wrong man will f*** up your life...
@@mskabue All true Sis!!
If you want to have a child with a “good man” you need to be able to see into the future so you can tell if he’ll stick around and be an active present father. Protect your wombs. Don’t give anyone kids
Go reprimand your mother for not being a fortune teller and giving your father children. You sound bitter.
Childfree for LIFE
There’s men that stick around and end up just abusing the woman
That part! Shut the whole shh down! Period.
Being childless by choice was the best decision of my 30 years of life.
38, no kids, no man, and I’m feeling great
A good way to know a man is to know what people he hangs around with.
What social media he follows.
Will he let you see who he is texting with?
Do his words match his actions?
😆. Jada still love Tupac to this day😂
Thanks Lord for bible study class
Thanks Lord for your peace
Thanks Lord single no kids 😊
Celibacy saves women and girls lives ❤
❤ facts
My ex husband said he loved me. Said he really wanted to be with me. Said that he'd love and care for me. I have 3 kids with him. And I will regret this for the rest of my life. He was abusive and treated me like a doormat. He was a mamas boy and he was ugly. Do not think mamas boys and ugly men will treat you better. He treat me worse than any man has. I had only had good relationships with respect and love. This ugly mamas boy showed me what abuse was emotional and physical. Showed me that I didn't have options. Etc. How he treats you is how he feels about you. DO NOT SETTLE.
I hope you leave him show your children not to put up with loveless abusive marriage.
@@Beavusnbutheads I did. We've been separated for 2 years. I've been saving up to file for divorce. ❤️
Whether married or single, before you have kids, a woman must think and ascertain in their heart that if push comes to shove, can you look after these kids on your own without bitterness, regrets or spite. I have seen women who are more annoying and dramatic because they cannot separate a failed relationship from co-parenting.
This is a word that should reach the masses!
See. I couldnt do it. That’s why I need to use a donor.
Clueless people STILL wonder why more and more women are choosing to be man- free and opt out of motherhood altogether. My ❤ goes out to these broken women. Still smh
if i could go back i wouldn't have a single child to my name. I will say, i have grandkids and i don't deal with my daughter's father nor anyone related to him. When we have parties, they never come around and if they do i don't. We are connected by sharing grandkids not blood. I don't have to ever deal with my children's fathers for NO reason if i don't want to. When graduation time came, no father was present, when our grands were born, no grandfather was present. When he visited the hospital i wasn't present and that's fine with me. thinking you Must be connected is the #1 problem if we have made the mistake of having kids with the wrong person!
@@loyaltyb71052 wish I'd stayed a virgin. I love my daughter. But men allowed me to see the real. When I started telling them I am lonely an want to be with someone. But when they realize I'm not having sex in 2 days or 2 weeks they disappear
way to go mama!! live your life for you
Being child free have saved me from so many heart-break an stress 🎉🎉
Child free all day!! They must got me fvcked up!!! 😂
One of the chosen ones sister 😂
As a 26 yo woman, my mom told me no babies with ANYONE until I was MARRIED!
Trust it may not stop anyone from cheating but it’s help the fall when it’s all over. And more personally as a black woman, I took my mom’s words very seriously. And trust I met all the wrong men, money or “broke”. I cried over men I can’t remember the names of now. And now my boyfriend of 3yrs just proposed to me, and he wants a future with me (hoping for some kids at some point). My family adores him, and yes he’s a black man (he has no kids yet either) still making his way professionally but guess what so am I. With no kids chasing me right now - amen. It’s ok to have fun yall, just be safe about it.
Happy for you Sis 💓
Just remember:
#1. Men benefit the most from being married (You'll be his cook, maid, child bearer, s3x slave, counselor, baby sitter, financial planner, etc. All whole you still work a 9-5, ETC....and he'll simply be your "provider").
#2. Agreeing to marriage is the same as agreeing that you also have the POTENTIAL to one day be made into a single mother by this same man.
@@INGEN_Dahnie-el-aha-ha 🎯 THISS!! Please Copy this laminate it and send it to all sisterhood around the world.
Marriage won’t stop them from
undervaluing you. In fact, it can become worse.
Don’t have any kids until you get a degree
I got physically and financially and emotionally abused during my last trimester of pregnancy and almost miscarried and died in labor i also had a c section and i was robbed and stalked until my my baby was four years old it taken me 9 years to rebuild my life and im still rebuilding but having a kid with the wrong man not only ruin you it affect the kids too dont do it
There are not many good men left out there ladies, please be careful!!
Bs! Be more selective
It's all men until proven otherwise. Because all see
themselves as the expetion to the rule.
@@imeldangadzania5212that’s basically what they just said
@@imeldangadzania5212
It's always you pick-ME-shias 😂 I bet you $$$ that your man is either TERRIBLE to you OR cheating on you. Private investigators need to be utilized more by you gals LOL
@@INGEN_Dahnie-el-aha-haThey never know what men are like bc men never pick, pickmesha. They just jump online to defend what they don’t know.
Married now. But I entered my marriage with a child from a high school relationship. I had some dark times but I made out of that. But our child is now 17 and I still have to interact with their father and I abhor it. I’ve moved on and still have to see this person. The woman in the video is right. It never stops! I’ll be seeing this person at my child’s graduation, possible weddings, and we may be grandparents. Sickening. 🤮🤢
I never even thought of the grand coparenting! I can’t imagine having to see my high school sweetheart or any other ex. Glad you moved on and leveled up. Men do anything to stay attached to us. It’s sad.
You never know who is the right person or wrong person. Married or not.
I don’t understand this. My body physically will not let me have s*x unless I feel safe. My male partner was very disrespectful towards me and to this day I can’t make myself sleep with him. Commitment, respect and security are a MUST.
Why not leave??????
The fact that you didn't leave him already says more about you than your statement. Your body has more standards than you do.
@@Ourown311 I’m getting everything prepared to. Some situations are more dangerous than others and a swift, abrupt exit is necessary.
@@fluffysox6072 I really wish ppl can stop jumping to conclusions! Not every situation is that easy! I've worked in Community Outreach, mental health and transitional programs! The level of danger I've seen on a regular basis when women tried to leave and got caught! We've already lost 6 more women this month! Smh 🤦♀️
Yup
Why do they always beg and beg and beg and love bomb and plead and cry and whine and once you conceive they change?
It’s to trap you duh but tbh women atp want to be trapped because they continue to entertain them.
@@Highpoweredwig yeah yeah
Facts @@Highpoweredwig
Forever access to your body & womb!
To have lifelong access to you as a free resource.
This definitely cured my baby fever. 😩
😂😂😂 G O O D
Im chid-free and I LOVE IT! Enjoy life, honey. I swear you wont regret it ❤❤❤😘
“being married shows your child what love is supposed to look like” my parents were married and i saw my dad try to push my mom to her death…at 5 years old before she took me to school.
that was just the time I actually SAW.
Marriage only guarantees that you are married and divorce is always an option even then.
My parent’s marriage is what made me decide at the age of 12 that I will NEVER have kids and I will NEVER get married.
I’m very sorry that was your experience, on the flipside you have individuals like myself who got to witness their parents having a relationship with ups and downs but overall healthy for decades. There are negatives and positives with everybody
This is why I say be childfree these men always switch up, and always leave ...ALWAYS...be safe ladies
Crazy how this video popped on my timeline. I texted a paragraph to my son's father because he came in the house asking to go to his house. Do you know this man didn't even respond?? At this point I'm done allowing him to play with my son's emotions. My son is also autistic. He needs consistency and not someone who only gets him maybe 5x's a year smfh.
I’m glad I don’t got kids or have sex
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Dang that sucks, seggs is great 👍🏽
All baby daddies are the wrong baby daddy because you’re not supposed to be having a baby out of wedlock in the first place.
Not having children is also an option. People act like they're forced...
Abstinence is key. You had a narc not a man, babe. It is a difference but girl @ 18 sounds like me @19. Even when you wait for marriage sometimes you’re going to go through it.
Gosh these stories scare me 😭 but I truly believe there are some good men out who can be great husbands and fathers.
😂 They ("good men") are outliers... UNICORNS 🦄 You better realize and research the NATURE of men, boo. ❤😘
@@INGEN_Dahnie-el-aha-ha it’s okay if you don’t have one yet. Praying you find him 🥰
Good luck with that
A needle in a haystack. Winning the lottery. The odds are against it.
Genetics are funny👏 absolutely! Sometimes the child will act like their dad or one of his relatives, no matter their gender and I feel like this is why so many mother-daughter relationships have tension. The moms didn't mind dating a man who behaved in a certain way but hate their daughters for having that personality. Which is a bit crazy cause you liked that personality enough to carry his DNA, why are you annoyed by it now?
Listen, it’s impossible to know how a guy will show up after birth and marriage. No matter how much you think you should’ve known, hindsight is 20/20.
I do not know anyone that doesn’t have some regret at times at the partner they picked. I think the stats are 75% that at some point, people wished they picked different partners.
This sounds bad, but men both historically and culturally were never meant to care for women (wives and daughters), in the way we expect them to now. That’s why big families and close communities were important- the women take care of each other. Relocating for jobs, having children later, and grandparents who think 60 is the new 40 have made a community that cares for moms and babies harder so women have to rely on their partners more. What we’re seeing now isn’t new. My grandmother who is Black married an air force veteran, had 7 living children, worked as a housekeeper, cooked every single meal, stayed thin, dressed nice, kept a clean house, and my grandfather STILL beat her all the time. Eventually he left her when the first five kids left the house. She raised the last two alone. My grandmother’s sister lived nearby and they helped each other along with another woman in the neighborhood. Men have never been keepers of women- not even in the Bible.
🔥🔥🔥 preach
Wow this was so interesting to read. I will continue to remain single and childfree. The Bible says man and woman are to be 1 but it seems we’ve lost ourselves along the way.
Thank you for posting these videos, I am so glad young women are seeing this. I am sixty years old and I have no children and no regrets at all.
You do not have to have children to be a real woman. Although absolutely magical, the ability to have children is one of the least interesting things about women in general, in my humble opinion.❤❤
What does it mean to be a real woman?
@@Highpoweredwig to me? It means I'm magnetic and males are electric.
Male energy projects and pierces; Female energy receives and envelops.
It means I'm naturally "psychic"/connected to the OIC (One Infinite Creator) and have had to fight my way up to every glass ceiling at every fancy job I've had in my career. It was before the wrathful and helpful Feminismzzz went "global."
It means I chose not to have children because I was too career-focused, came from a crazy family and the foster care system, and too self-focused to be a good mother - to be the mother, I wanted and needed, but never had, like so many folks - because I've never experienced good mothering after my mother got bored when I was no longer a toddler; she only liked babies (big family, Irish Catholic), and I didn't want to repeat the Abus3/Abandonment Cycle.
Being a woman means I was hammer-formed by life to be able to withstand extreme life conditions.
Being a woman means I treat UA-cam comments like academic novels because I talk too much. Thanks for reading.
Being a grandma-aged woman is amazing! It is nothing to fear. As long as you take care of yourself, you will enjoy life very much when you get older....
....unless the world goes even more completely insane. That's a possibility. Unfortunately.
Being an older woman has allowed me to experience the joys of menopause! It's nothing to fear. It's the greatest gift because you completely stop caring about men or women, or whatever your preferences are.
Being a woman to me means being an earthling connected to each and every other earthling in this weird game.
👩🏻🎨
Hope ya like riddles! ❤️❤️
@@Grandma_Jizzzzzzzardgot it & thx for sharing! 💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽
THE FAMILY, OBSERVE THE FAMILY!!!! For those who didn’t listen to the message. The family will tell you EVERYTHING you need to know about who you are breeding with. PAY ATTENTION. Genetics can be funny hunny!
Yup! I observe EVERYBODY'S relationship! I pay attention to the women, men, children, parents, uncles, aunts etc! No one is exempt! I pay attention to all of the little things, the dynamics, any double standards, generational traits, habits, mentalities, every red flag is important! Smh 🤦♀️
@@ericabelcher8760 gurl you and I both. It has allowed me to be 32 & at peace internally!
Why would women rather have a kid than marry? A child is permanent and a marriage is not, you can just leave!!! I really don't get this!!! 😂😂😂 it's so wild!!! I would choose a childless marriage any day, instead of being trapped with that man forever because of co parenting & seeing his face daily on that child....
@@ezy78667 I wouldn’t choose either to be fair marriage and children its not worth it!!!
Thanks to my dad’s family he taught me from young that marriage isn’t worth it. He physically abused my mother, couldn’t hold down a job due to his drinking and heavy smoking, stole money from her, strangled me when I ran to call the police when he was beating her up. He cheated on my mum regularly and had affairs with different women For a woman It ultimately comes down to the man she chooses and most of the time you meet their representative in the early stages so you don’t know what you are truly dealing with. You can’t go wrong if you choose yourself = freedom peace, prosperity, and happiness.
@@ezy78667 The biggest and most important decision a woman will ever make in her lifetime is not children or marriage.
It’s the man she chooses good luck!🤞
I’m not having kids until we take care of the kids that are already here, and stop genocide in Gaza! We need to be thinking about what world we are raising these children up in.❤
this politics. housing crisis. better food. better schools. fix the economy. then world is in crisis
Safaree is an example of what it looks like when you ONLY have lust for someone and marry them.
Very very very dangerous thing to do. He didn't make an emotional connection to her at all
He just sits there very uncaring and unempathetic it's baffling🙄😏😶🌫️😱...protect yourselves ladies....
He’s bitter he didn’t get Nicky Minaj pregnant instead. He would have been the same jobless scrub running around babysitting like she got now. I don’t feel sorry for Erica though bc she’s a colorstruck bitch.
There's a video of him saying he married her because of her hair
@@CoM-il2bp the video they did when she was pregnant with her first child
If I could do it again, I would run.
The lady at 31:41 is speaking nothing but nonsense
Women like this are so problematic.
Came to say this. I hate how brainwashed and self-hating women like this are.
😂😂😂
Jep LMAO especially do not have abortion part, like lady this would actually prevent the whole situation from escalating further. Religious fruitcake 😂
Thank you. She gives pick-me vibes. She was hella annoying
Getting married is always a conscious decision. Becoming a father is often an accident.
Only to black men that becoming a father is often an accident!!
Lies
its not a accident, they just lack taking responsibility for their action and they dont care. Their primal function is to spread their seed where ever they can
Accident you don't fall accidently in a woman v#gina without condom or birthcontrol.
Thank you science and planned parenthood for choices.
I’m 38 and the next ten years of my life, I gotten an IUD. No children and none of the rest for me. I seen some patterns in people that are a hell no. If you even breathe wrong around me, I’m not dealing with dat sht.
I’m looking at everything even your health and I will judge you upon that. You drink, you smoke, play video games, over eat, gamble, you have any type of drug or sex addiction, you a mommas boy, you don’t know how to clean or organize, don’t know how to save money,in a weird religion or cult, dont workout, dont eat healthy,don’t have time for the lord is a No to me.
Single mothers who change their attitude about being a single mother turns out super achieving kids. Kids holding bachelor's, master's, or doctorate degrees by age 17. Most single mothers didn't plan to be. But the father leaving doesn't stop the show. They're not important, so stop making a fuss over them.
Consider adopting. Abandoned children need love. You can be a mother without the male baby trap drama.
@Ace-b7z I am so sorry to hear that. But that is an old problem women can avoid by considering adopting.
Thats why i dont fall for the love bombing at first
Have a baby by a man who is FIRST committed to you physically, emotionally and LEAGALLY
I didn't find out until after I had my children and was enrolled in parenting classes; (yes i'm old) that the brain doesn't finish growing until your 25 and it is the front lobe for reasoning and judgement, and when they have enough past memories to look back on to make better decisions. so when they are faced with trauma like pregnancy from pre-adult 16-25 it floods the brain with stress hormones while they are already dealing with end of puberty hormones, just when the body is coming into itself hormones collide and when there is trauma the brain it kinda freezes at that age until they heal.
I can see that. That’s why women who have kids young tend to lack character and integrity because they have trouble self reflecting due to hormones and brain energy that needs to go to the child for its survival.
In the event you did pick a real loser, like I did, thank goodness, a bad parent can be remedied thru the courts.
If the guy is a dead beat, just don’t expect anything, and move on. Eventually, usually by the time a child is five, a dead beat abusive person would’ve lost interest long time ago and is estranged from their kid by this age.
And by interest, I mean more than for pretend, pictures and showing up for Xmas. If the person isn’t consistent and contributing to welfare of you and your child, just stop giving them any time of day.
Get a good lawyer and orchestrate everything in your favor. When I divorced, I controlled the whole process and wrote the divorce settlement with my attorney. Deadbeats don’t have a leg to stand on, all the power is yours, so don’t give any of it up.
After some time has gone by, no contact, or support ( usually more than six months) this is considered abandonment. If the guy is abusive , it’s constructive abandonment forcing you to stay away.
File for termination of parental rights and just move on. Being older and wiser, you will pick a better partner next time.
If people show you who they really are, believe them, accept their inadequacies, and don’t expect anything from them. Then as time goes on, you’ll find peace and happiness and a better partner. I did.
Marriage, baby making and keeping a relationship are VERY DIFFERENT THINGS. TREAT THEM INDEPENDENTLY. MIX THEM AT YOUR OWN RISK. LADIES, please. I love giving birth but honey I don't keep the men. Am a one direction b****.
😂😂babyyy🤌🏽
😂😂😂😂😂
21 years too late for me, but these are conversations I have with my teen and adult daughters. ❤
Even in marriages we must be careful in deciding to have children. Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take your time procreating. Having children within the first 3 years of my marriage would have put major strain on it. Now that we’re almost a decade into our marriage, we approach family planning with a calm mind and anticipation because we’ve done the work in our marriage and on ourselves to prepare for parenthood.
Great point ☝🏽👍🏽💯
I don’t respect my mother but I do have and show deep respect for my kids so it’s not always good to judge people by how they treat their parents
Same. I had an abusive and narcissistic mother but I vowed to be different for my daughter
34:23 Oh yes. Soo true. Come on pastor! 🙌🏾🙌🏾
I really wish i could of heard this wisdom and had elder guidance bk when i altered the trajectories of my teenage life during my motherhood stage...i love all my children but so many things would change.
The phrase ‘right person’ is too damn vague a ‘’decent man’’ is the phrase. That’s what women need to look for in a man!
I’ve been saying this for years. Ppl make marriage out to be so special. What’s so special about submitting under a man (historically men not respecting women’s values ever) and then leave with half of my $#!+ and STILL left to be a single mother. Divorce is worse than being a “baby mama”. Either way, in my eyes, it’s no sin to us women; we’re still fulfilling our role as a mother that nature has assigned us to be.
Everything will fall on you alone raising that child alone without any help or support coming from him as he will neglect and abandon the child for you to raise and will be nowhere to be found helping you or being in the child's life to make sure that child has a father figure. He will be absent . I am a single mom with 2 kids and non of their fathers in their lives because this men run away from responsibility of being fathers. Protect your wombs and use protection and dont allow a man trap you with pregnancy on first date. Not all mothers are mothers. You maybe mentally strong to raise those kids alone but not all mothers are like you and will take out their anger on their kids because their fathers didn't stay to help and will traumatise them. How a man treats you is how he treats his mother. That man hates his mother. My son has sickle cell disease and his father is absent and never there in his life and I went no contact because he treated our son like our son was his enemy. I am grateful for having a strong boy/warrior and he has a strong mother who loves him more than anything. I went no contact with my ex and stayed no contact.
Absolutely, my husband one day was like hey lets have a baby. We're getting married anyway. We were engaged at the time and hadn't even started planning the wedding. I said absolutely not I've done everything in my life the hard way, out of order i refuse to let this be one of them. Marriage first then children.
Make him make the commitment because even with children the man doesn't have nearly as much skin in the game as the woman unless you're married and even them women are risking more to have kids. If he's not willing to tie his whole existence (physical mental emotional spiritual financial) to yours with that little piece of paper he's looking for an out from the jump. Yes, him marrying you doesn't guarantee that he'll stick around and be a good parent but having that piece of paper gives you more options in making him help you.
We ended up deciding with the state of the world we're not going to bring any more kids into the world. I have a stepson and that's enough. He's a fantastic father but things are too uncertain. We married in 2018 and are still married.
I don’t feel bad for none of them. STOP HAVING BABY DADDIES WTF.
My parents have been married 30+ years I’m 33 married 7 years and JUST started considering children. Yall just sleep around and expect no consequences. Then advocate for not marrying men… but have no problem giving away your body. Smfh nah I don’t have any empathy for this.
I
bet
your
parents
are
miserable. Long marriages don't mean SH!T.... And I bet you $$$ that if you do a private investigation, you'll find out your spouse is cheating in you. STOP THE 🧢 CAAAAAP 😆
the lady at 32:11 needs to read scripture over... Deuteronomy 28:18
She was insufferable. I skipped over most of her ramblings. I can’t stand people who are so delusional and ignorant.
If he wanted to he definitely would . My husband did skin to skin baby wearing bottle warming night feedings sleeping at hospital did it all
The baby just draws the line huh! 😂😂
I dont feel bad for those women who knew the man was no good and still had his children.
Great video. Who is the Obg-yn doctor? Her viewpoints and information was good.
The real cost is, The Child being forced into a Fatherless situation. Women, we must do better‼️Starting with Mysel‼️‼️
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤these moms man shoutout to them
It's really hard to feel any sympathy for Erica Mena.
I learned my lesson with 1. I don’t judge but I don’t see how women are out here having babies with every dude they get with. I couldn’t do it. 1 babydaddy is enough, I can’t imagine having to deal with multiple men.
My ex took custody got alimony and child support and took all my belongings even stole my truck 2 times. Cops wouldn't help said I was his property. Do not admit u fucked them or its a misdemeanor when they beat u up. If u say u didn't fuck them it a felony! Don't marry
I had to turn the video off. The woman at 14:00 was completely delusional, I couldn't do it anymore 😂😂😂
This is wonderful content
Thanks 👍🏽 I'm glad you enjoyed it
Yea it really is.
I have a 2year old with someone I thought I loved until I had my child ...yoooo....was I blind? 😢
what's the woman at 31:00 on about? I wouldn't want her near me
The women out there like her need to live under a rock and never come back.
To all the dudes roaming in these comments, STOP BOTHERING WOMEN IN THEIR PEACE!!! It's gross
They're the wrong guys we're talking about
32:55 what?! So much of this is what keeps women in bondage.
Exactly what I was thinking, I had to skip 😒 telling someone what to do with their body is crazy
Yup, Mines is sooooo hatful n so evil He spiritually attacks Me, In return attacks OUR Daughter….
But GoD Is Good! My ancestors
Bc what you do to others will be done unto YOU…..
And I’m watchin in 5D ALL those things be returned to sender. Smfh
Pray hard...btw pork oil helps with spiritual attacks especially on children and also bathing them in salty water once in a while...
I think a lot of peoples issue is making sure you and the other person have the same moral values by not just talking but watching how they move in life. Then you have to release control of another person and this perception of what you think a mother or father ought to be. Women in particular think they can change a man or tell a man how to parent. Trying to control a man is a problem that I feel a lot of women need to access in themselves. I realized I don’t get to control by child’s father and our relationship has been awesome. Self WORK sets the tone! How he does things is not how I do things and I am ok with that. We are great coparents and friends. However, on the other hand the man I’m dating I see his coparent has not healed herself and constantly blames everything and everyone. It’s damaging to the kids. It’s sad. Self love is really important. Once you truly have healed ,that you know it’s NOT what people do to you it’s how you choose to deal with people!
13:13 she's speaking truth!!!
What happened to Kee Kee Palmer? Bc I know it's not that he sent that msg out about her at the Usher concert. Bc if it is. Yes, he handled that wrong publicly but it was a disagreement in a relationship. It wasn't warfare that ppl act like it was and doesn't make him an unfit bomb for her or the child. And her being a celebrity doesn't make it cool for her to be lightly dressed and all up on another man. So what happened that I don't know about?
It turns out he was abusive according to her, her mother, court docs and video evidence that surfaced last year.
@@arshae21 oh ok. Smh
Even if God takes the other parent then his family will probably try to reach out to you. I hope my kids dad is taken out. He is a horrible human being. So yeah be careful who you have kids with because you might be here saying you hope they’re dead. Like me. I mean it too.
Hey, I just wanted to let you know that your feelings are completely valid. Sometimes life would be a lot easier if the other parent was just completely out of the picture. In my case, my ex passing away would be a blessing for me and my child as awful as it may sound…but it’s the truth.
@@Jr7729-wk6rg Thank you for understanding.
❤ I love reading these honest comments
Are you able to move away by chance? I know that's hard, but maybe going a few states away might logistically get you some fresh air socially.
@@1bluegreen2 I would like to move away, currently I’m being dragged in and out of court because he’s trying to make it so I cannot leave the current state we live in and to drag out him not needing to pay child support that is court ordered.
I, at 41 years old am just learning of Karmic Children. This is when a person has a child with someone who was not meant to be part of their destiny. This is highly spiritual. I have my own children attacking me and part of it is Karma from what I did to my own parents which is a whole other story but this is Realllyyyy... Spiritual. It will shatter your life to pieces. It will even unlive you.
11:50
If a man can’t commit to you why would he commit to a baby? Why Yall can’t use anyone of these BC out here if you’re gonna be reckless?
Lol.
Is
your
husband just
as
ratchet looking as you? He's definitely cheating on YOU, boo. Better hire that private investigator 💋
Men can wrap it up also if they don’t want the responsibility of a child.
@@user-nv5wi8op8k. But they aren’t the ones that’s got to deal with the aftermath. So why be reckless then start complaining when things go left? 😂😴🚮
Lol 😂duh
Tapping on the phone when recording and grandstanding is so obnoxious
I thought they ain’t care who the BD was as long as the section 8 govt package comes with it..only fooling squares with the victim talk
These are just a bunch of pick me women and women who center men, not themselves. Like where are their fathers and brothers?? Where is their actual family support?? They cling to men they know are no good to be with 🙄🙄 most baby mothers were very desperate and had low standards or no standards 💯 Be responsible and put God at the center of your life not men ‼️