Interactions "Going Nowhere" -- Why You Have Escalation Issues

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  • Опубліковано 26 лип 2019
  • Most sticking points are escalation based. That's because game IS escalation. General conversation is something different, and also something you probably have more experience with than game. So here is how to learn to escalate.
    systembytodd.com for the most in-depth answer to escalation problems

КОМЕНТАРІ • 150

  • @dimex3362
    @dimex3362 3 роки тому +160

    Game “IS” escalation. Its 1. Knowing the moves. 2. Knowing how to pull the moves off smoothly. 3. Having the balls (which means experience) to do what needs to be done.

  • @codysing8291
    @codysing8291 2 роки тому +51

    always escalate, she has already decided on you the initial moment she agreed on going out

  • @bav1362
    @bav1362 5 років тому +108

    Todd, you’re the living pickup machine

  • @AskToddV
    @AskToddV  5 років тому +138

    I'm guessing you probably have escalation issues. Most guys do. Here is your roadmap for working on them.

    • @elvipeposhi5911
      @elvipeposhi5911 5 років тому +1

      AskToddV How to create emotional spikes and make sets more efficient and great? own the system best so far..

    • @centralintelligence3097
      @centralintelligence3097 5 років тому +1

      What are 5 things to say after the opener?

    • @boosthit811
      @boosthit811 4 роки тому

      @@centralintelligence3097 so....what's your story? How did you get into that? Then vibe off of that. Use "yes and"....make statements about her.....have fun.

  • @dmitrixallo7072
    @dmitrixallo7072 5 років тому +181

    FBI? Yeah this guy, he possesses mind reading technology

  • @MrSnipesquid
    @MrSnipesquid 5 років тому +25

    These last few videos have been on point.

  • @eliraner1
    @eliraner1 2 роки тому

    Holy Crap this is the best video about escalation that I've ever seen.
    Going to work on the lines and steps and secondary steps in case if a rejection asap

  • @mikegodor616
    @mikegodor616 5 років тому +63

    Hey Todd, can you talk about your philosophy on learning? I think a lot of us would like to know the process of how you got great at poker, investing, soccer, game, etc.

    • @batur_psychology19
      @batur_psychology19 4 роки тому +6

      Step 1: sitcho ass down
      Step 2: put in hours and learn shit
      Step 3: ???
      Step 4: Profit
      Dont really need much of a philosophy here

    • @OHHnoYOUdidntMAN
      @OHHnoYOUdidntMAN 7 місяців тому

      it's in his podcast :D

  • @GuyCorrino
    @GuyCorrino 8 місяців тому +4

    Yesterday I was in a Club. A girl who was with my group really was into me. But something holds me back to escalate things. I got work to do! Thanks Todd for your videos. Theory - Practice - Analyse - Repeat.

    • @fonz3668
      @fonz3668 Місяць тому

      Any progress my man ? Having the same issues.

  • @Yamikaiba123
    @Yamikaiba123 4 роки тому +20

    Todd talks like my environment professor who's obsessed with applying Systems Thinking to ecological introductions and the establishment of invasive species. Except Todd applies Systems Thinking to interpersonal introductions, establishings, and invasions 🤔

  • @JW0121
    @JW0121 5 років тому +1

    Great video, thank you!

  • @ikechukwunwachukwu2508
    @ikechukwunwachukwu2508 4 роки тому +5

    Listening to Toddv talk about game is just pure poetry..

  • @mr.goodday3586
    @mr.goodday3586 4 роки тому +22

    I needed this video holy hell!! Thank you. I have been working on myself for a good 2 years and I lost 100 pounds, and I and gain a lot of muscle and have been working on my career. Atm I can talk to any girl in the room bc I feel confident about myself. But I could never Seal the deal!!! Thank you very much

  • @matth3002
    @matth3002 5 років тому +12

    Starting out I used to think "this will be my first", now i imagine each one being my last.

    • @lilwilj
      @lilwilj 5 років тому +5

      Matt H You mean like: the girl you meet right now, you think ‘I’m going to stay with this girl forever’? That’s cute, I consider every girl a training for the next one xD

  • @smiththesun
    @smiththesun 5 років тому +15

    You could have answered the last question from a different view, which is how to be more comfortable in the bed room, being naked, etc for beginners in that regard

    • @Darvin-Hams-burner-account
      @Darvin-Hams-burner-account 5 років тому +7

      My answer would to be to go step by step. First base, second base and third base. By the time to reach third with that person, the tension is a lesser one if this process took a certain amount of time to develope, instead of it all happening on one night

    • @dimex3362
      @dimex3362 3 роки тому +3

      Dont try to do all the steps at once. There is a way of learning called chunking, where you only learn a part of something instead of tryingnto learn the whole. In pickup, an obvious one is to just learn to get numbers first. Done worry about contacting them. Then once youve gotten pretty good at that, learn how to text them well. Then learn how to turn your good texts into first dates, then learn how to get them to your place. Then learn how to escalate once at your place… etc etc. you can do more than one thing at a time. My personal game was i got good at getting numbers, but never great at text game from them. Then when i got on tinder, i learned text game slowly but surely, then i learned how to get them to coffee dates, then i realized i wasnt good at coffee dates (still working on this) then i learned to just get them to my house for a bottle of wine straight off of tinder, then i learned all the different little strategies to escalate once at my place. And from there ive banged around 50 chicks in a year and a half. 40 or so from tinder and 10 from meeting irl. So ye, chunk, study… see where your weakpoints are, come up with solutions to those weak points. One of mine was when women were at my place, i couldnt tell how to make a move to kiss… so i developed a bunch of different strategies till i found that has a near 100% success rate:
      I started with just going in for the kiss… very awkward and got me turned down a few times. Then i started to say “are you a good kisser” while she was sitting next to me on the couch… this worked better but felt contrived. Then i started to casually put her legs in my lap and give her a very casual foot massage… i wouldnr tell her it was a foot massage, id just grab her legs, put them on mine, then start rubbing her feet and start talking to her in a sexy voice. Then id gauge her horniness and go in fir the kiss. Usually she would lean into me more than i would lean into her. One girl even expressed feigned indignance when i grabbed her legs. And she said, ok you can rub my feet but dont take my socks off. I asked why and she was like omg, weve only known each other like 15 minutes. Long story short, i busted on her, kept my cool, kissed her 10 minutes after that, had her shirt off in a couple minutes then carried her to my bedroom and had fun for the next few hours. Escalation principles and practice is what allowed me to do that and use it again and again and again on multiple chicks.

  • @AaronsLeanMeanAcademy
    @AaronsLeanMeanAcademy 4 роки тому +6

    Todd Has the best titles. I can’t not click

  • @mikeoradini1991
    @mikeoradini1991 5 років тому +2

    this is the video that sold me

  • @kevinterp4725
    @kevinterp4725 4 роки тому +1

    You are great guy todd

  • @davidlambo
    @davidlambo 4 роки тому

    I would like to hear some examples of explicit premises lines and some subtle premises lines too ..

  • @murdamangoz
    @murdamangoz 4 роки тому

    What about at your place ? Also what are good first date locations where you can escalate to a lay???

  • @hodeneofficial
    @hodeneofficial 5 років тому +1

    What is the next step and how do I get there?

  • @1998JUAND
    @1998JUAND 5 років тому +4

    Hey guys, for those of you that have done Todd's courses, which do you think is the best? Thanks, I appreciate every comment.

    • @andreseraso2737
      @andreseraso2737 4 роки тому

      You can find a free one here on UA-cam. Search Todd Valentine Daygame. That's a good place to start.
      If you want more, then The System would be the next best thing

  • @corpgov
    @corpgov 4 роки тому +1

    What if your primary and only interest is daygame? I don't visit dance venues. Bar and nightgame are not for me, so physical escalation comprises hands - the key to unlocking physical comfort in a female. Start there and work your way to leg and neck

  • @NithinVasisth
    @NithinVasisth 5 років тому +1

    Love this video

  • @nicksanchez1615
    @nicksanchez1615 5 років тому +2

    Todd what's a good play when a girl asks you to do something? Example would be buy me a shot, watch my purse, ect. I have a hard time straddling the line between telling her "Im not that kinda guy" and being a bish and agreeing. Any suggestions??

  • @lucluc5494
    @lucluc5494 5 років тому +36

    Todd your information is so enlightening. I never knew you could learn game, I used to think you were either good at it or bad at it. Now I have a new problem: HOW DO I MANAGE THE WOMEN IN MY LIFE?
    I want to see some women more than once but then they start to think we are exclusive and in a “relationship”. I don’t want to “play” them but I enjoy their company and am choosing to see them again.

    • @maritsia_
      @maritsia_ 4 роки тому +5

      How about telling them "i want us to see other people and not be exclusive"

    • @maritsia_
      @maritsia_ 4 роки тому +5

      @Tyler T It's not "non monogamous", it's just a hook up culture. It always existed just nowadays, it's more known cause of social media, plus there's less stigma than ever associated with it. Trust me I have nothing to gain by remind you that no matter what's popular among the youth, people still have feelings that should be respected

    • @maritsia_
      @maritsia_ 4 роки тому

      @Tyler T who hurt you, Tyler

    • @breakingthemasks
      @breakingthemasks 4 роки тому +2

      I echo this question.
      I had a girl (my first gf actually) who pulled out the "are we dating" question on the 3rd date!
      Girls in my circle will assume exclusivity loooong before anything physical happens.
      And honestly, that's not justifiable.
      My conclusion is that exclusivity should rise in synch with physicality.
      That is, to the degree that I'm getting what I want, she can get what she wants.
      Which may mean I don't get sex... And instead only get a girl to cuddle with. Since I'm not ready to commit to her. And that's fair.
      Or maybe another girl will be happy to go a bit farther, and we can fool around. Etc.
      That model seems fair to me.
      The all commitment, but no sex, model is patently unfair.

    • @edrowlett-barbu142
      @edrowlett-barbu142 4 роки тому

      It's called ethical non-monogamy and there are multiple forms of it, but they all have recommended etiquette that you should probably look up, so that you are actually mindful of people's feelings and not just a "player"

  • @thesilver7238
    @thesilver7238 5 років тому +2

    I'm convinced that Todd has some spy on my tail recording my approaches and reading my texts.
    Because, FFS, the exact video I always need, ALWAYS gets uploaded at the exact time. Fuck Todd, thank you, my dude.

  • @jaspergabriels8933
    @jaspergabriels8933 5 років тому +4

    Hey Todd, I have the system but I can't find a lot of examples of lines to use tbh can you give me 10 to use that are effective

    • @damyankostadinov4676
      @damyankostadinov4676 5 років тому

      See his video - "Steal My Lines - How To Show Intent" in his other channel. Would you recommend The System? At $297 I am not sure it's worth it. Also, don't you have email support when you buy the system- i.e. you can email him?

  • @lucassoares4084
    @lucassoares4084 5 років тому +2

    Hey Todd! As usual, magnificent stuff. So my question is, what usually does a girl mean with "I don't even know you...". Recently i picked up a girl, the day I made the move she wouldn't stop kissing me, even when I backed off. Then 2 days later we meet again and she says that. Where did I possibly go wrong?

  • @fred3000
    @fred3000 5 років тому +2

    Can someone explain the concept of value pings? I watched TDM 2 times now but still can not get a hold of that.

    • @breakingthemasks
      @breakingthemasks 4 роки тому

      I didn't hear him talk about it in this video... But he's talked about it for text game.
      The short version is that you are low key showing off that you have an awesome life.
      E.g. you find a reason to ask her advice on an outfit because you are going to a movie opening vip thing.
      Or you thought of her when you were at the beach with friends because she said she liked the beach.
      Or you found this cool old record from an artist she said she liked in a thrift shop while you were traveling in a cool place.

  • @Johnnyboybravo
    @Johnnyboybravo 2 роки тому

    Where can I get these 8 lines he's talking about? 2:56

  • @djohnson6006
    @djohnson6006 5 років тому +3

    Todd. What do you do if your a small talker. In other words. Not into being loud and brash but a low key intovert approach? Quiet confidence...

    • @AnteP-dx4my
      @AnteP-dx4my 5 років тому +2

      i dont think such thing as quiet confidence exists

    • @noviedeos
      @noviedeos 5 років тому +4

      Forgoten Hero
      ever seen the godfather?

  • @kazikmajster5650
    @kazikmajster5650 Рік тому +1

    *Where does Todd go in-depth on Verbal and System escalation?*

  • @edoboss505
    @edoboss505 5 років тому +5

    How do you win over the friends ?

    • @Mmmmkaaay
      @Mmmmkaaay 5 років тому

      Offer to buy them drinks, compliment them, tease them... but in such a way that it is clear that you are into just one of them.

  • @ImNuffler
    @ImNuffler 5 років тому +6

    Once I've slept with a girl once, what are the next steps I should take to progress the relationship? How 'gamey' do I need to be? Can I be incredibly forward now, or still act as before?

    • @ImNuffler
      @ImNuffler 5 років тому

      Can I invest more?

  • @fredrikwall8494
    @fredrikwall8494 5 років тому +2

    How many softs no should you take before you give up?

  • @tobisteffen
    @tobisteffen 5 років тому +2

    For how long should I wait, before I answer a text from a girl? If I answer too quickly, it might appear needy or low value. If it takes too long, they might feel like I'm not interested enough. I fell like I have experienced both.

    • @caesaraugustus9061
      @caesaraugustus9061 4 роки тому

      10-30min unless shes texting back really quick, then about 2-3min

  • @adelfhipster3936
    @adelfhipster3936 5 років тому +76

    WE WANT INFIELD(don't get me wrong, this is good stuff)

    • @AskToddV
      @AskToddV  5 років тому +8

      check out my other channel ua-cam.com/users/toddvdating

    • @Rey.mc93
      @Rey.mc93 5 років тому +4

      Go out and do it, simple.

    • @adelfhipster3936
      @adelfhipster3936 5 років тому +18

      @@Rey.mc93 Thanks for solving all our issues, we don't have to watch youtube ever again thanks to your inspiring comment.

    • @donoffitness2892
      @donoffitness2892 4 роки тому +4

      @@adelfhipster3936 💀

    • @Holypikemanz
      @Holypikemanz 3 роки тому +1

      dating coaches love the mindless philosophy and strategy talk exactly because it stays away from reality and actual in field demonstrations. Bouncing Todd and his weird hand gestures

  • @Tonixxy
    @Tonixxy 4 роки тому

    Where is the line between showing intent and giving power away or whatever.

  • @useyourcommonsense207
    @useyourcommonsense207 4 роки тому +6

    Is it possible to get good at this by just watching these videos and not actually going to one of his classes/seminars?

    • @deshyvin
      @deshyvin 4 роки тому +7

      Yes. However you still have to go talk to women and be rejected and fail before succeeding. Same as his courses.

    • @useyourcommonsense207
      @useyourcommonsense207 4 роки тому +2

      Yeah, I figured as much. Just like everything else in life

  • @metnoc10
    @metnoc10 5 років тому +3

    A "physical stack", I love the lingo.
    Damn good stuff but, MOAR INF1ELD NAOW PLEASEEE GOT DAMNIT!

  • @johnsmith-wx5fb
    @johnsmith-wx5fb 5 років тому +51

    Imagine finding out this guys boning your sister😞

    • @KN9595
      @KN9595 5 років тому +58

      She could do a lot worse.

    • @ballaking1000
      @ballaking1000 5 років тому +11

      soulrrays I’d pay good money to see your sister read that

    • @johnsmith-wx5fb
      @johnsmith-wx5fb 5 років тому +1

      @@ballaking1000 ha ha soulrays deleted his comment. Wise.

    • @ballaking1000
      @ballaking1000 5 років тому +3

      @@johnsmith-wx5fb Lol, yep.. There's many of them cowards. Say something stupid then can't even stand behind it- in a place where everyone is anonymous lmao, at least his name still remains in my comment (:

    • @johnsmith-wx5fb
      @johnsmith-wx5fb 5 років тому +1

      @@ballaking1000 ha ha yep. the guy in this video is alright ive nothing against him. But y'know if my sister said hey meet my great new boyfriend and he showed up 👀😤😁

  • @gizoabuladze5203
    @gizoabuladze5203 5 років тому

    Hi Todd, let’s say guy has pretty good game and shitty logistics and you know girl can have a chance being alone with you in her home, how do u lead to get there, any tips? Thanks

  • @eror151
    @eror151 5 років тому +6

    how do you treat someone who is very engaged when you are physically togheter but doesen't reply or answer when contacted online?

    • @eliseepierre8415
      @eliseepierre8415 5 років тому +1

      Treat her the same, you don't have to react to her behavior towards you. She has to

    • @adomede
      @adomede 5 років тому +1

      ...don’t message her online (unless you’re gonna ask her to meet you), then when you’re physically together, run your game.

  • @bucketbucket4027
    @bucketbucket4027 Рік тому

    Best advice I got recently is to send special notes as a letter and not a text.. I use this app Text a letter to send real letters so I guess its still basically like texting idk #teamlazy

  • @kacperkepinski4990
    @kacperkepinski4990 2 роки тому

    todd is king of game

  • @Giov140591
    @Giov140591 5 років тому +3

    Hey Todd, at this point of my life i end up having sex on the first date 50%of the time, which is not bad but the times i dont make it i feel like i m failing in something. Do you think that sometimes u can t change the value system of the girl towards sex on the first date or u can always find a way to make it happen? Thanks in advance

  • @itbeat7899
    @itbeat7899 5 років тому

    premise

  • @Baldoxxx4000
    @Baldoxxx4000 3 роки тому +1

    You only have once chance for the first impression, remember that...I'll remember forever T_T....

    • @luck3949
      @luck3949 3 роки тому +2

      Well yes, but actually no. I once made 106 first impressions within 3 hours. The key was to approach 106 different girls.

  • @michaeljeffery7466
    @michaeljeffery7466 8 місяців тому

    Interesting

  • @Lucasfache
    @Lucasfache 5 років тому +19

    Drunk vs sober game differences?

  • @hammads9045
    @hammads9045 2 роки тому

    Here's a q: how do you tell if a girl is just being super friendly vs wanting you to flirt with her?

  • @davidr.massey419
    @davidr.massey419 5 років тому +1

    For a creative type "A" the women will beg you over to just hear your Testosterone voice. NOT A WORD NEED BE SAID. I am not saying this is easy, but if you lay the ground work(don't workout for mass, go for cuts&definition) you will trigger the womens"3-second rule(maybe its 5 sec.) just by you totally confident entering into the room, coffeehouse ,meeting/mingling place. I start with a black compression fit s.s.crew TEE. You should find one that looks like it was poured on, so when you crimp roll sleaves up 1&1/2" they stay there. I found 30+ selections on Amason. Go for Arne comfort fit Mac jeans. Cognac color Croc belt& same color Shoes. She notices sholder, chest, waist, tight butt ratio, but its those arms especially triceps( like shes seen in Olympic mens gymnasts rings competion). Here is how this works: shes already subconciously desided that she would. Let your eyes meet in a quick witted lock where you immediately notice the unique things she has done with her hair ear rings that day. By twisting your thumbs&fore fingers downward along side of your face you will mimic those whispy sideburn locks she sports that day, while you mouth inaudibly "i like these". There are dozens of sexual double meanings for that move. Before she has time to reflect on weather you crossed decorum lines you go into a series of hand gesture flirts(each wittyer, humorous than the last). Duh i said a non-confident, out of shape guy cant be quick witted enough to pull this off. For your last flirt you waltz/prance one hands fingers across your table culminating in a ballerina jump while you bounce up twirling with arms bent up palms up circling to catch her imaginary leap to your arms. ALL THIS HAPPENS AT A FAST PACE! You know that you have suceeded when she pulls out her industrial strenght lip gloss and applies it in front of you. This is how a type "A" does it. Words are begging, and she has seen&heard every senerio this guy says on this site. Like i said this isn't for generic guys.

    • @caesaraugustus9061
      @caesaraugustus9061 4 роки тому

      You should really proof read and fix your writing mistakes. I dont understand the point of your comment but I would like to.

    • @davidr.massey419
      @davidr.massey419 4 роки тому

      @@caesaraugustus9061Forget the grammar punctuation nonsense this is about a distance hand gestures flirt, where she has already noticed your confident walk&look. The rest is just quick thinking and pure guts confidence. Usually no women has seen this type of flirt, and pulling off something like this isn't a trick it's pure you.

  • @IvanGicos1
    @IvanGicos1 5 років тому

    💯🤘💯

  • @vitordausacker8551
    @vitordausacker8551 3 роки тому +1

    Hello! There's people from other countrys like me that likes your explanations, but you speaks very fast, and it's difficult to understand english sometimes. We would aprecciate if you talk slower, and people that talk slow are even more confident. Keep doing your videos because it's very usefull. Abraços

    • @shadrackkiban4716
      @shadrackkiban4716 2 роки тому +1

      Try using that UA-cam feature to slow down the the video

  • @kingades1013
    @kingades1013 2 роки тому

    0:17

  • @faridzabihian1694
    @faridzabihian1694 3 роки тому

    We want infield todd

  • @notjulienhimself2195
    @notjulienhimself2195 5 років тому +6

    As a beginner or intermediate, do I have to force myself to date girls that I don't like so much? Or will I learn to get the ones that I really like without doing that?

    • @deshyvin
      @deshyvin 4 роки тому +2

      If you don't have and respect your own boundaries, why would you expect someone else to.

  • @principlemethods5281
    @principlemethods5281 4 роки тому

    Hug, then glide your hands from her shoulder to th finger tips, then slight tug right back into you...

  • @TheMrJdunks
    @TheMrJdunks 5 років тому

    If you are going on multiple dates with the same girl. How and when do you make the girl pay?

    • @josepereira5804
      @josepereira5804 5 років тому

      TheMrJdunks I tend to pay for the first date, and then next time I see them I tell them Im not a millionaire, I’m trynna save up for xyz, so when we go out I’d rather we split the bill or we can rotate who pays each time. If they like you then it shouldn’t be a problem, if they wanted your money there you go you saved yourself some money.

  • @75w26__
    @75w26__ Рік тому

    verbal escalation as a driver

  • @azservices
    @azservices 3 роки тому

    This is exactly what I talk about in this video: ua-cam.com/video/GVmsjJAj0Xc/v-deo.html

  • @piloctor15
    @piloctor15 5 років тому +1

    In before 100views

  • @user-cb9je6oj7u
    @user-cb9je6oj7u Місяць тому

    And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment: (Hebrews 9:27)
    Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. (Isaiah 55:7)
    For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. (Romans 10:13)
    The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit. (Psalms 34:18)

  • @jesseward568
    @jesseward568 Місяць тому

    This is too tactical and strategic.

  • @dusanstankovic6456
    @dusanstankovic6456 5 років тому +1

    Without sawing the video, PREMISE

  • @rastyqader
    @rastyqader Рік тому

    All these hoops that you have to go through. Man woman are complex

  • @Chelsea-mz4dn
    @Chelsea-mz4dn 3 роки тому +1

    This is why I'm thinking about becoming a lesbian.

  • @dagyoutube9325
    @dagyoutube9325 5 років тому

    How to get a hot sugar mama, or get rich woman to spend the dough on you? Buy you expensive shit, or give u straight up cash?

  • @vladislavmrnmrdrmdvc8698
    @vladislavmrnmrdrmdvc8698 5 років тому

    First

  • @dimasavila9158
    @dimasavila9158 5 років тому

    I asked how many guys has she kissed at this bar if she says one I said oh great I'll be number two

    • @PainAmvs_
      @PainAmvs_ 5 років тому +1

      That sounds desperate and creepy. The quickest way to get a girl is to not try at all. Sound crazy huh. Just talk to her like a normal person, be relatable via having the same hobbies and interests, and don't be too ugly in her eyes. Then tell her the unique points about her that you like and ask her on a date. If she says no then you are ugly or you have low emotional intelligence. Or maybe she is lying, sometimes they reject you because they are nervous.

    • @kiankazo8921
      @kiankazo8921 4 роки тому

      Dimas Avila that’s the shittest line I’ve heard

  • @lilwilj
    @lilwilj 5 років тому

    Having 8 lines in my head, and the rest of the conversation I can say whatever I want? 8 lines, what about being flirty and touchy and spontaneous? But I’m pretty playboy so maybe this video is not for me