Great video! "A woman's highest calling is to lead a man to his soul, so as to unite him with Source. Her lowest calling is to seduce, separating man from his soul and leave him aimlessly wandering. A man's highest calling is to protect woman, so she is free to walk the earth unharmed. Man's lowest calling is to ambush and force his way into the life of a woman." - Cherokee Proverb
Alyona Belyakova I agree. But how can this happen when the Narc even after 20 years won’t see my feelings or share his. My needs are subjugated and his are always met. Therefore helping my husband find his higher self and then in turn break through his inner turmoil to find true intimacy with his wife is essentially impossible. I’m bailing out.
Well, I guess some of us are capable of true and monogamous love. Some of us understand that the ups and downs, the ebbs and flows and the highs and lows are a normal part of a life long relationship. We just need to meet someone with the same beliefs and temperaments.
No, do not feel down. You will meet your match and create a spark set your world on fire. But it'll be a controlled fire that will bring light and not destruction.
MY GRANDPRIZE You live your life like you have no wife or family....You are your biggest priority! You don’t compromise you don’t sympathize never rationalize thru our eyes, you leave us behind with out any mind not a thought at all even when we fall. YOUR WORLD IS SMALL NO ROOM AT ALL We have waited so long it's getting hard to be strong. Our love is dear but you're never here you dont feel our hopes or our fear. Even when you're near you;re not here. Always dreaming of the next great thing you shall do. all the while promising us the world but never coming thru always telling us about the things we will do. Promises and lies are the only things we get from you. YOUR WORLD IS SMALL NO ROOM AT ALL Black and white day and night there is no in between with you...right or wrong short or long your answer the only one that will do. You think you love us and maybe you do. Who knew? Love feelings have no meaning to you. Compassion and compromise you have yet to realize. Sadness and pain are things you think are vain. You pick us apart and dictate what’s in ours heart. You don’t like what we say and you send us away. YOUR WORlI IS SMALL NO ROOM AT ALL A house is not a home you don’t love your things. Trees cant grow without light and time is a gift. Believing in you is taking too long, being your wife is stealing my life. You have made me feel small not good at all, you fill me with self doubt and feed me your regrets, took away your respect and left me feeling guilty and alone. YOUR WORLD IS SMALL NO ROOM AT ALL Patience is a virtue i hold close to my heart. I learned over time I conquerred my fear, found love for myself and I'm going to hold it dear. It opened my eyes and now I clearly realize, You are your own grandprize! We were just your compromise, part of the disguise. Your friend, your money, and your status have always rule your life. YOU NEVER HAD TIME FOR A WIFE AND FAMILY YOUR WORLD IS SMALL THERE WAS NEVER ROOM AT ALL In return you gave your wife and family no shelter from the storm, no soft spot to fall and no one to call...that’s no life at all. One day you will fall and be made to feel small and you will regret your life that had no time for a wife and family...... Sandra Martin
That's exactly right. I told both of mine after 10 and 15 years married. When I started finding out the lies and cheating. Do you want your family or freedom. Said both. I filed for divorce. Doubt I'll ever trust again. Why couldn't they be happy with a loyal wife and children that loved them? I give up. I'll never know what they did behind my back. Sad
Sarah Medina I cant predict the future but at this moment I can never trust again nor do I believe in marriage. I could never even see myself living with another man or having another roommate. I have to heal at my own time.
I hate myself. I deny myself treatment for health issues and opportunities for (happiness?). Too stressful to even think of. My Husband is a narcissist. I could not live without mistreatment. I was told that this is what is happening. For me, I earned this
I'm married to a man who divorced a Narcissistic woman! She tries to sabotage any relationship we have with the children! From lying about everything just to keep them from coming! She constantly starts fights when he calls them! At this point they won't come! They believe every lie she feeds them! She's turned them into haters! No matter how much we try to get along for their sakes she destroys every visit! Its horrible! I feel so bad for my husband! Not to mention the kids! There's no end to her hatred! Eben though she's remarried she still tries to cause us trouble! One minute she rages the next she sends my husband notes that she's available! Its mind blowing! She told the kids I broke up their marriage! They were divorced 4 years before we met! God help us! We're losing our minds!
Sam Vadnik brings up many good theories on relationships. Speaking only for myself, it is important to feel valued and loved needed and appreciated by your partner/parent. I think it provides a sense of security. Goals and values and raising children and finances need to match, or it will create discord. The wife and husband's role has to be defined in order to play A Part in this family. I still believe in monogamous marriages or relationships. And you should be a better person being married to your partner. Marriage is sacrificing and committment, being alone is the pits. It's actually harder to live for yourself...much harder. Really because you wake up and you realize no one needs you or loves you...and all of your connections with friends or family our limited. True intimacy wether it be physical or emotional I think should only be shared with one person. And overtime the bond becomes stronger. But to be a good partner you must present yourself as being psychologically whole. Well that is difficult to find. And it's a blessing when you do find someone when you are psychologically whole and they are psychologically whole. What do you think about it most of the people in prisons and institutions or problematic are single. There's nothing better than a good marriage and look at mate. I'm too jealous and insecure to want to share. Maybe when the person feels secure with someone, all the insecurity diminishes.
This is more a western phenomena, but is starting to expand to other cultures. Low birth rates have more to do with a population becoming educated and upwardly mobile. Also there are not low birth rates and high divorce rates in all cultures. 1/3 of the world's population live in one of two countries. Even if we fail to produce offspring in the west, the world's population is nowhere near extinction. Furthermore, people used to stay in bad marriages, and still do sometimes, for economic or social reasons.
My narc rarely talks about his mother. There seems to be some tension in his feelings about his mom although I'm not sure because he doesn't open up. I think his ex wife is what really brought on his narcassism. She was all about money and what he could do for her. Or so he says. I think he despises women bc of her.
2. If we stick to the instructions in the bible we can have good marriages....This Marriage of the future Sam in talking about shoudl not exist, but I'm sure it does...but if we get back to bible we can have good marriages between one woman and one man..wives summit to your husbands and husband love your wife like God loves the church....then we can have good success.
RE RE Smith this neglects trans minority or those who were born both male & female... it does not come down to sex, perhaps gender; in other words, a social/cultural construct of what we think best fits either a man or woman. Even the Bible is limited to the time in which it was written; further, should we treat marriage like they treated government in the Bible? In other words, just because it is in the Bible, does not mean it is the correct & only way. Instead of regressing to old times, we need to look forward to how we can change the future for the better because we are not promised tomorrow. The marriage portrayed in the Bible tends to minimize the role of the woman, rather than see her as equal; essentially, this is discriminative. There is more than just XX & XY, it’s interesting stuff, I recommend you check it out:)
to men who enforce the old-age social role and are negative to women who actively accommodate it and believe that this is what women should strive for. Yours faithfully, A feminist narcissist
What happens if a narcisist is confined to a situation where its impossible to get narcisistic supply. What would happen to his narcissum if he stays in such a situation for long?
I recall the interveiw ted bunty had a day befote his excecution. maybe lot of the things said were false but what its seems pretty distamt from his typical narcissistic behavior in the court room videos
+Sam Vaknin thank you very much for that answer. i would like to ask one more thing. while suffering such a deficiency, is there atleast a slightest possibility that the person ceases to be a narcist?
One thing I've noticed is my husbands ex Narsissitic wife is never happy! She constantly rages about everything! Her second husband has divorced her so now she's trying to destroy his life as well as ours? Do they ever stop causing trouble? Its the worst life to live if you have to deal with these kind of people! It destroys the children as well! She wants them to believe she was right and her ex's were monsters!
Great video. It raises lots of interesting questions. Why should we dump a great partner just to have another? Is survival narcissistic? I dont think so. We need multiple partnerships to survive now as in the past. How did we not feel jealous in ancient history where men had multiple wives?
1.All the instructions on how to have a happy Marriage are in the bible. Men it is good for a man not to touch a woman.Nevertheless to avoid fornication, let every man have his won wife, and every woman her own husband.Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence and likewise the wife unto the husband,the wife has not power of her own body, but the husband and the husband has not power of his own body, but the wife. 2nd Corinthian & 1-5...and I can alway find more if needed.
Great video!
"A woman's highest calling is to lead a man to his soul, so as to unite him with Source. Her lowest calling is to seduce, separating man from his soul and leave him aimlessly wandering.
A man's highest calling is to protect woman, so she is free to walk the earth unharmed. Man's lowest calling is to ambush and force his way into the life of a woman."
- Cherokee Proverb
Alyona Belyakova I agree. But how can this happen when the Narc even after 20 years won’t see my feelings or share his. My needs are subjugated and his are always met. Therefore helping my husband find his higher self and then in turn break through his inner turmoil to find true intimacy with his wife is essentially impossible. I’m bailing out.
Listening to this makes me want to jump off a bridge. Feels like I'm the only person left alive that can enjoy deeply loving another forever.
Well, I guess some of us are capable of true and monogamous love. Some of us understand that the ups and downs, the ebbs and flows and the highs and lows are a normal part of a life long relationship. We just need to meet someone with the same beliefs and temperaments.
this is why the narcissist targets us. He / she wants only the best!
Well said!
No, do not feel down. You will meet your match and create a spark set your world on fire. But it'll be a controlled fire that will bring light and not destruction.
One small point. Infidelity isn't just "decried as deceitful", it is the very definition of deceit.
MY GRANDPRIZE
You live your life like you have no wife or family....You are your biggest priority! You don’t compromise you don’t sympathize never rationalize thru our eyes, you leave us behind with out any mind not a thought at all even when we fall.
YOUR WORLD IS SMALL NO ROOM AT ALL
We have waited so long it's getting hard to be strong. Our love is dear but you're never here you dont feel our hopes or our fear. Even when you're near you;re not here. Always dreaming of the next great thing you shall do. all the while promising us the world but never coming thru always telling us about the things we will do. Promises and lies are the only things we get from you.
YOUR WORLD IS SMALL NO ROOM AT ALL
Black and white day and night there is no in between with you...right or wrong short or long
your answer the only one that will do.
You think you love us and maybe you do.
Who knew? Love feelings have no meaning to you. Compassion and compromise you have yet to realize. Sadness and pain are things you think are vain. You pick us apart and dictate what’s in ours heart. You don’t like what we say and you send us away.
YOUR WORlI IS SMALL NO ROOM AT ALL
A house is not a home you don’t love your things. Trees cant grow without light and time is a gift.
Believing in you is taking too long, being your wife is stealing my life. You have made me feel small not good at all, you fill me with self doubt and feed me your regrets, took away your respect and left me feeling guilty and alone.
YOUR WORLD IS SMALL NO ROOM AT ALL
Patience is a virtue i hold close to my heart. I learned over time I conquerred my fear, found love for myself and I'm going to hold it dear.
It opened my eyes and now I clearly realize,
You are your own grandprize!
We were just your compromise, part of the disguise.
Your friend, your money, and your status have always rule your life.
YOU NEVER HAD TIME FOR A WIFE AND FAMILY
YOUR WORLD IS SMALL THERE WAS NEVER ROOM AT ALL
In return you gave your wife and family no shelter from the storm, no soft spot to fall and no one to call...that’s no life at all.
One day you will fall and be made to feel small and you will regret your life that had no time for a wife and family......
Sandra Martin
😪
I am now depressed.
That's exactly right. I told both of mine after 10 and 15 years married.
When I started finding out the lies and cheating. Do you want your family or freedom. Said both. I filed for divorce. Doubt I'll ever trust again. Why couldn't they be happy with a loyal wife and children that loved them?
I give up. I'll never know what they did behind my back. Sad
Sarah Medina I cant predict the future but at this moment I can never trust again nor do I believe in marriage. I could never even see myself living with another man or having another roommate. I have to heal at my own time.
I hate myself. I deny myself treatment for health issues and opportunities for (happiness?). Too stressful to even think of. My Husband is a narcissist. I could not live without mistreatment. I was told that this is what is happening. For me, I earned this
I'm married to a man who divorced a Narcissistic woman! She tries to sabotage any relationship we have with the children! From lying about everything just to keep them from coming! She constantly starts fights when he calls them! At this point they won't come! They believe every lie she feeds them! She's turned them into haters! No matter how much we try to get along for their sakes she destroys every visit! Its horrible! I feel so bad for my husband! Not to mention the kids! There's no end to her hatred! Eben though she's remarried she still tries to cause us trouble! One minute she rages the next she sends my husband notes that she's available! Its mind blowing! She told the kids I broke up their marriage! They were divorced 4 years before we met! God help us! We're losing our minds!
Sam Vadnik brings up many good theories on relationships. Speaking only for myself, it is important to feel valued and loved needed and appreciated by your partner/parent. I think it provides a sense of security. Goals and values and raising children and finances need to match, or it will create discord. The wife and husband's role has to be defined in order to play A Part in this family. I still believe in monogamous marriages or relationships. And you should be a better person being married to your partner. Marriage is sacrificing and committment, being alone is the pits. It's actually harder to live for yourself...much harder. Really because you wake up and you realize no one needs you or loves you...and all of your connections with friends or family our limited. True intimacy wether it be physical or emotional I think should only be shared with one person. And overtime the bond becomes stronger. But to be a good partner you must present yourself as being psychologically whole. Well that is difficult to find. And it's a blessing when you do find someone when you are psychologically whole and they are psychologically whole. What do you think about it most of the people in prisons and institutions or problematic are single. There's nothing better than a good marriage and look at mate. I'm too jealous and insecure to want to share. Maybe when the person feels secure with someone, all the insecurity diminishes.
codependent people are not selfish but they are miserable. it is a path, to be generous you may have to seek your own happiness and joy first.
This is more a western phenomena, but is starting to expand to other cultures. Low birth rates have more to do with a population becoming educated and upwardly mobile. Also there are not low birth rates and high divorce rates in all cultures. 1/3 of the world's population live in one of two countries. Even if we fail to produce offspring in the west, the world's population is nowhere near extinction. Furthermore, people used to stay in bad marriages, and still do sometimes, for economic or social reasons.
My narc rarely talks about his mother. There seems to be some tension in his feelings about his mom although I'm not sure because he doesn't open up. I think his ex wife is what really brought on his narcassism. She was all about money and what he could do for her. Or so he says. I think he despises women bc of her.
Tam Raaah ... Don't believe a word!.... That's narcissist playing victim!.... He will say same things about you should you divorce!....
olusina joyce agreed COMPLETELY!
Mr. Vaknin,
I believe my ex is a narcissist...be betrayed me for another. Will he treat her better? Become better person for her?
So, it sounds like everything that made marriage unique and special, is now dead.
Caucasian African the narcissist is the reason I do not believe in marriage anymore.
2. If we stick to the instructions in the bible we can have good marriages....This Marriage of the future Sam in talking about shoudl not exist, but I'm sure it does...but if we get back to bible we can have good marriages between one woman and one man..wives summit to your husbands and husband love your wife like God loves the church....then we can have good success.
RE RE Smith yes and yes
RE RE Smith I think you meant submit not summit.
RE RE Smith this neglects trans minority or those who were born both male & female... it does not come down to sex, perhaps gender; in other words, a social/cultural construct of what we think best fits either a man or woman. Even the Bible is limited to the time in which it was written; further, should we treat marriage like they treated government in the Bible? In other words, just because it is in the Bible, does not mean it is the correct & only way. Instead of regressing to old times, we need to look forward to how we can change the future for the better because we are not promised tomorrow. The marriage portrayed in the Bible tends to minimize the role of the woman, rather than see her as equal; essentially, this is discriminative. There is more than just XX & XY, it’s interesting stuff, I recommend you check it out:)
I would hate to say this guy is wrong, bit then I would be a liar. Pretty spot on...
Great Proverb Yelena C!
I would be interested in hearing his thoughts on that as well. Sounds fascinating.
to men who enforce the old-age social role and are negative to women who actively accommodate it and believe that this is what women should strive for.
Yours faithfully,
A feminist narcissist
What happens if a narcisist is confined to a situation where its impossible to get narcisistic supply. What would happen to his narcissum if he stays in such a situation for long?
I recall the interveiw ted bunty had a day befote his excecution. maybe lot of the things said were false but what its seems pretty distamt from his typical narcissistic behavior in the court room videos
Deficient narcissistic supply www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq28.html
+Sam Vaknin thank you very much for that answer.
i would like to ask one more thing. while suffering such a deficiency, is there atleast a slightest possibility that the person ceases to be a narcist?
Healing and Curing Narcissism
vaksam.tripod.com/faq63.html
vaksam.tripod.com/faq77.html
vaksam.tripod.com/faq70.html
vaksam.tripod.com/faq12.html
vaksam.tripod.com/10.html
vaksam.tripod.com/case03.html
vaksam.tripod.com/faq31.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily8.html
vaksam.tripod.com/personalitydisorders37.html
vaksam.tripod.com/personalitydisorders45.html
+Sam Vaknin thank you very much. I really appreciate it
One thing I've noticed is my husbands ex Narsissitic wife is never happy! She constantly rages about everything! Her second husband has divorced her so now she's trying to destroy his life as well as ours? Do they ever stop causing trouble? Its the worst life to live if you have to deal with these kind of people! It destroys the children as well! She wants them to believe she was right and her ex's were monsters!
Great video. It raises lots of interesting questions. Why should we dump a great partner just to have another? Is survival narcissistic? I dont think so. We need multiple partnerships to survive now as in the past. How did we not feel jealous in ancient history where men had multiple wives?
Spot on Sam
Totally agree...
1.All the instructions on how to have a happy Marriage are in the bible. Men it is good for a man not to touch a woman.Nevertheless to avoid fornication, let every man have his won wife, and every woman her own husband.Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence and likewise the wife unto the husband,the wife has not power of her own body, but the husband and the husband has not power of his own body, but the wife. 2nd Corinthian & 1-5...and I can alway find more if needed.
those are some wise words, sounds like it came from the bible
👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
Modern israelian society is described here ...
Collective Narcissism - Narcissism, Culture, and Society samvak.tripod.com/14.html