By the way the CRX 9,001 is a hand gun that fires high condensed dark matter bullets encased in anti-grav casings. Without these casings each bullet would weigh more then an M-class star. Xeno: What is the purpose of that weapon??? Human: yes
Human: well you see sir, if a star is ripped from its regular intergalactic orbit by higher forces like a super nova or a black hole, you need enough fire power to stop this oversized nuclear reactor from colliding with other systems. Worse, if a small black hole is moving in such a way, it could decimate everything in its path. In such a situation we fire alongside it as, as expected, a direct shot would only feed it. shooting alongside it will change its trajectory and even slow the movement enough to be less of a threat. Off course we need to shoot in sync and calculate the collision of the bullets so that they don't go rogue and vaporize some solar systems a million miles further. This is also the reasoning why those weapons are at rating 9-D and not up for commercial purchase anymore by simple people, some of our hillbillies would try to shoot some cans with that one. Yes, it happened on one of our farming colonies. No, it doesn't exist anymore for obvious reasons. That incident caused a universe-wide recategorization of all the weapons and made it a pain in the butt to get other weapons now. fekking hillbillies and their can shooting. Did you know that those same idiots also used K2-Incendiaries as rodent traps? Or the time they used tunnel bore projectiles to dig a well for their new farm? they blew a hole through the crust. That one created a nice vulcano, it' was quite the tourist attraction. They called it "Travis´ BOOM-Resort", named after the creator. Where were we?... oh yes, the CRX 9001, a really beautiful gun it is... what do you mean, insanity? We want to be sure that, if something happens, we're prepared for it. yes yes I know, the probability of a rogue star or black hole is not that high, but it happened at least once. Oh, and captain? There should be a parcel at outpost Δ-81-P for me, could we stop there at some time? I got myself a few new parts :D
not strange at all, bad weather means everything else, threat or prey isn't moving either. safest time to sleep, especially if you're nice and secure in your cave(home)
right up to the point a lightning disintegrates your pc- trust me- i know. and people do NOT have problems with using guns- they have problems with OTHERS using guns.
@@dainishauka7205 Dislike of guns is because of ignorance. The proper thing is to dislike people who would misuse guns and any other sort of tool in a dangerouse manner. But, society has long since frowned on that as "politiccaly incorrect"/.
At first I was like "only 4 guns?" Then the power was stated. That would be the equivalent of current man having a .50 cal, which costs more than some cars. As for the name, it checks out. Companies name things weird for marketing purposeses. Silencers for instant merely muffle sound. They don't work like Hollywood and video games want us to think. That said, if it's considered a mining tool, it could be passed off without background checks like the flamethrower in the US. You have to go through a novella of paperwork and a background check, but Cletus can buy a pallet of flamethrowers for "agricultural" reasons.
Cletus can also buy a pallet of explosives for "agricultural" reasons. Not that I'm against it, land management is some serious business that requires some serious power at times.
Most .50's are only about 5 grand, the nice ones get up around 10-12K...don't think ive seen a home for under 20k for a long time. even then it likely wouldnt be livable.
So i never used to think narrations like this where that insane but HOLY this guys voice tone is just minotone and the right build of speed and expression through his voice it just outstanding i love your work and the amount of content you have you will always be up there with even david attenburough for me (no idea if that how u spell his last name) but that u for all your hard work to perfect your art
I tell people that he has the voice of "milk chocolate" and wait for them to be confused. Then I explain that dark chocolate is amazing, but you can have milk chocolate and never get overwhelmed. That's when I show them Agro's channel
Even a human needs to practice to stay proficient with firearms. I wouldn't trust anyone with firearms who doesn't. Four years with no shooting is a no go.
It's not like he's using standard munitions and aiming at small targets. Plus it's fine, he has the class 3 license and is a professional, if enthusiastic.
@@smmk88 That Class 3 license expires every 2 cycles? He would need to requalify for renewal. Yes I agree it is a bureaucratic money grab but it is the rules. Also don't count on an extension. They are only good for 1 cycle and if you fail to renew it before the extension is up you must wait an additional half cycle to reapply. Its best not to play around and find out with bureaucracy.
In space, being a hippy dippy pacifist isn't the best idea. Training in guns, martial arts, space faring, and you just increased your chances from none to good
With this stiff of regulations, there probably are plenty of 'technically' not a gun devices. Like how there are compressed air riffles that who's bullets exit the barrel with up to 90% the velocity of what are legally firearms, in a range of calibers.
Space pirates: attack research vessel Human: "WELCOME TO DEMOLITION RANCH! Today we will see if an AntiMatter M82A8 .50cal gravrifle can go through a 3rd rank freighter, so....will it stop a bullet?"
This human likes guns, I was a soldier then in the police for 32 years combined. Unfortunately I live in the UK and it's not that easy to get a gun here.
A gun is just a very complicated way to throw a rock. So with that in mind, what are the odds that aliens have even developed the concept? Or, maybe, something entirely different that we have never thought to think of.
Probably very high, unless their biology is lacking the capability. Hitting something with something else is about as basic a concept as it gets and is basically universal for tool use. Throwing something just adds a distance factor. Now there are other potential weapons concepts, poison, radiation, weight, etc. But from an evolution standpoint doing anything from a distance is basically a straight upgrade compared to having to get in close and personal to bite, sting, burn, irradiate, crush, etc. Something that doesn't get in close is going to have a better chance of survival if something goes sideways. Though there are other methods that work around that, bee, wasp, and ant swarms for example.
@@merlinathrawes746 Rail guns are actually NOT complicated at all. The only limiting factor is the power source. We could make ship based ones but building a vehicle around a single gun is usually not smart. Yes, I am aware the Warthog exists...and it is the exception that proves the rule. Rail guns require a LOT of power and magnetic shielding. We haven't quite cracked the shielding requirements because of the power requirements for that shielding. This hasn't been cracked fully due to those working on it not having access to things like nuclear power plants dedicated to providing power for testing purposes.
I see many men I've known in young John. They're like Legos. For adults. Thanks much for keeping us up to speed and I'm looking forward to hearing you when all your thrusters are firing!
Denal makes a rifle in 20mm. It is single shot in that configuration but can be changed to 14.5mm or 50BMG with a five round and ten round magazine, respectively. Dream big, my friend :)
Shame even other spacefaring creatures are terrified of a little pop gun. It’s the person/being using it you might need to fear. +40 years ago I might get physical to protect family. Now I turn threats into non-threats.
@@NeSeeger i loved this when i read it the first time.. lol ..... how many guns should a normal person have? - about five - that sounds like a gun enthusiast to me - no, a gun enthusiast has fifteen - that sounds like someone obsessed with guns - no, people obsessed with guns have hundreds - that sounds like a psycho - no, psychos seldom own guns, or just get one or two - that sounds like a normal person though.. - no, a normal person has about five, we already covered that...
Man i really need to get me one of those rifles lol. There is a damn squirrel that keeps raiding my bird feeders and leaving tracks all over the top of my car. A shot with one of those would teach the little bugger a lesson.
lol i loved the story and would like to hear more from this setting and maybe john's career specifically i am curious about the weapon 5 categories: 3 were civilian and number 5 was military. what about cat 4? or just typo? thanks for the narration again best wishes with the upcoming surgery and recovery. take all the time needed to heal
Yup 4 planet buster and 5 star destroyer, those two are military only. Can't be giving your average Joe the ability to wipe out a homeworld in one shot. Gotta make him shoot atleast 3 or 4 times for that ;)
They said the more powerful ones were military only, so that would seem to be cat 4 and 5. Although the CRX 9001 is obviously over 9000, so I would have guessed it to be at least cat 4? ;)
Well, a "clear up after mining" tool, really; but your point is well made. Shouldn't even be classed as a weapon... really... It's a more efficient vacuum cleaner for large rocks. Just cos humans are capable of weaponizing anything, well... shouldn't matter now, should it?
It doesn't matter if a man has a shovel or a bulldozer. If he has killing intent , he is going to use every tool willingly at his access to that intent.
You have to realize that humans started off as a prey species. Part of the purpose of our weapons is to ensure that no aggressive predator species gets a chance to learn this.
Love this story.... perhaps it's because I've met "John" several times on various work crews myself. I believe he is what is generally called "A Good Ol' Boy." Maybe "A few degrees off plumb," but as the Captain came to conclude, a great guy as long as you keep him on your side. Generally, not too hard to do. Speak well of his guns, like you would of his wife, and you'll be just fine.
This is about the best HFY story we've heard. And it fits in with the mindset that humans, including me, I might add, we need bigger guns. Just in case, ya know?
How you do the voices and such is amazing, also very much apricate being able to read along, I suffer nerve deafness and some times will miss what is being said.
I like to think this is the humanity of Warhammer 40K, but of the Golden Age of Technology, several thousands lf years even before the rebellion of the Man of Iron
Xeno: Don't you think that gun is a little........what's the human word, Over kill? Human: There is no such thing as over kill. It's called being thorough.
Not ONLY do we "Like Guns"... We also are VERY Proficient with them. Especially those of us from that Provence called America. Although... You should see what a Terran could do with Bladed Weapons. Plus... We work VERY WELL as Marshals, Bounty Hunters, and Security Grunts.
Several of my close friends fall squarely into this Human category. One had three Lahti L-39s. The Lahti L-39 is a Finnish 20 mm anti-tank rifle used during the Second World War. One of which belongs to me, due to dumbassery on our part. The story is his Grandfather purchased them from the back of a magazine prior to 1968, and a metric shit ton of 20mm ammunition. To this day no one actually knows why his grandfather bought them. But they are awesome……..although care should be taken when firing them. Otherwise you end up in the base hospital with a broken collarbone among other injuries.
"I solve practical problems, for instance: how am I going to stop some mean mother Hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous beehind? The answer, use a gun, and if that don't work... Use more gun."
Now the bigger question is which toy should i use? 12-gauge double barrel boomstick? The .45 ATM Hardballer? Phased plasma rifle in the 40-watt range? Ahhhh, yes! The BFG! 😎
Next time, warn the damned pirates , that you have an armed human on board. It will save time. As gun freaks go, young john is not that bad. He hasn't customised his weapon, to the point it can destroy whole planets. YET!
This is known as "Taking the fight to the enemy". As an aside, I live in the USA. We have more guns than people. (I think latest estimates are three per man, woman, or child). Ammo? In the billions. (With a 'B').
15mph with gusts of 30mph... That's just some moderate winds. So, a temporary micro black holes shooting gun capable of making a small moon implode is a class 3 weapon that a civilian can legally use... And it can shoot bursts of up to 12 shots, but only because, by law, it's not allowed to shoot more ?
Next time the crew meets pirates: Commander: "John, do you see that pirate ship?" John: "Yes, sir." Commander: "Well I don't want to." John: *wide grin* "Yes sir!"
I have this cannon called 2nd Amendment artillery which shoots out Patriot shells. Next, this is a Democracy rifle that shoots out 6000 Freedom bullets per second. _"Murica!!!"_ BTW, did anyone lose it when they described how a thunder whose noise sounds like a WMD is enough to put a human to sleep? XD Fucking rain, lol!
Captain: "John, what the hell are you doing?" John: "The answer? use a gun. if that dont work, use more gun" Captain: *switches freqs to contact the pirates* "um... run"
Attention pirates, we have a human on board who wants to try out his new gun... run while you can.
It's called a beta test
It will make it more fun for them
Aww why warn them there's less target practice that way
@@evanwoodroffe3288
Skeet shooting practice.
The Captain could've just called John to the Bridge and let the Pirate see John the Human, that would've ended everything in a heartbeat
Galactic law: “feel free to kill pirates to save your self”
Human gun enthusiast: “say less fam.”
Don't threaten me with a good time
The human with a Lasgun on his hip
Shiiiit xeno, thats all you had to say.
You had me at 'Feel free to kill pirates'
Big iron on his hIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiIiiiiiP
Pirates: "We're gonna board you"
Captain: "We have a human on board"
Pirates: "Understood have a nice day."
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Probably exactly what would happen if they had mentioned the human.
We have a human GUN NERD on board ... 😎
@@Ikki11235 That's "Gun Freak" a gun nerd is just someone who obsesses over gun knowledge, but wouldn't actually be capable of shooting one.
Its funny to me that one constant of history is widely used in sci fi. Humanity can and will weaponise anything
It’s probably the only realistic aspect of HFY. 😂😂😂
It's because we have weaponized just about everything.
Well yeah Rule #1 Any thing and everything can be weaponized. Rule #34 Anything and everything you can think of has been made into porn...
@@ArronRatliff Sometimes even Rule 1 and 34 are in the same category.
@@RoseKindredweaponized porn? Not the first time...
It's not a weapon...
It's an expression of my culture....
Haven't you noticed we've been sharing our culture with you all morning
"I'm a Mandalorian. Weapons are part of my religion."
By the way the CRX 9,001 is a hand gun that fires high condensed dark matter bullets encased in anti-grav casings. Without these casings each bullet would weigh more then an M-class star.
Xeno: What is the purpose of that weapon???
Human: yes
Human: well you see sir, if a star is ripped from its regular intergalactic orbit by higher forces like a super nova or a black hole, you need enough fire power to stop this oversized nuclear reactor from colliding with other systems. Worse, if a small black hole is moving in such a way, it could decimate everything in its path. In such a situation we fire alongside it as, as expected, a direct shot would only feed it. shooting alongside it will change its trajectory and even slow the movement enough to be less of a threat. Off course we need to shoot in sync and calculate the collision of the bullets so that they don't go rogue and vaporize some solar systems a million miles further.
This is also the reasoning why those weapons are at rating 9-D and not up for commercial purchase anymore by simple people, some of our hillbillies would try to shoot some cans with that one. Yes, it happened on one of our farming colonies. No, it doesn't exist anymore for obvious reasons. That incident caused a universe-wide recategorization of all the weapons and made it a pain in the butt to get other weapons now. fekking hillbillies and their can shooting. Did you know that those same idiots also used K2-Incendiaries as rodent traps? Or the time they used tunnel bore projectiles to dig a well for their new farm? they blew a hole through the crust. That one created a nice vulcano, it' was quite the tourist attraction. They called it "Travis´ BOOM-Resort", named after the creator.
Where were we?... oh yes, the CRX 9001, a really beautiful gun it is... what do you mean, insanity? We want to be sure that, if something happens, we're prepared for it. yes yes I know, the probability of a rogue star or black hole is not that high, but it happened at least once.
Oh, and captain? There should be a parcel at outpost Δ-81-P for me, could we stop there at some time? I got myself a few new parts :D
Xeno: What is the purpose of that weapon???
Human: moar dakka
@@DonPatronoWAGHHHH!
@@Gaster601Here. You dropped this.👑
Me: " pest control. Volga swamp slugs Are a real problem sometimes especially on the more soggy planets"
Strange that random bright flashes of light and huge rolling booming sounds can be relaxing but I'm with John on this, it helps me to sleep!
Rainstorms are soothing
I even use recordings of such events to help me sleep
not strange at all, bad weather means everything else, threat or prey isn't moving either. safest time to sleep, especially if you're nice and secure in your cave(home)
Go listen to "I love a rainy night" by Eddie Rabbit.
I'll never understand how anyone could dislike guns or thunderstorms...
right up to the point a lightning disintegrates your pc- trust me- i know.
and people do NOT have problems with using guns- they have problems with OTHERS using guns.
@@dainishauka7205 Dislike of guns is because of ignorance. The proper thing is to dislike people who would misuse guns and any other sort of tool in a dangerouse manner. But, society has long since frowned on that as "politiccaly incorrect"/.
HEY! I'm not obsessed with guns. I just have a very enthusiastic approach to my...hobbies.
And don't forget, if you can count your guns...you don't have enough.
If an alien predator gets close enough for you to have to tear it apart with your bare hands you done effed up and didn't have your gun handy.
humans are a guns best friend
that's a fact
They help us throw rocks faster lol
They just make us happy
There is nothing better to a gun than to have a human hand with the right grip. Happiness is a warm gun!
Excellent as usual.
"Don't worry Captain I have a YEET cannon in me pocket."
You can never have enough gun. After all, happiness is a warm receiver group.
Enuff dakka is more'n you got, but less den too much, AND THERE AIN'T NO SUCH FING AS TOO MUCH DAKKA!
Nah, happiness is two smokin' barrels...and a third glowing.
@@animeyhem9780 And another 15 Melted
_Pling !_
@HenshinFanatic I'm literally looking at my safe going ".... I need a bigger safe"
At first I was like "only 4 guns?" Then the power was stated. That would be the equivalent of current man having a .50 cal, which costs more than some cars.
As for the name, it checks out. Companies name things weird for marketing purposeses. Silencers for instant merely muffle sound. They don't work like Hollywood and video games want us to think.
That said, if it's considered a mining tool, it could be passed off without background checks like the flamethrower in the US. You have to go through a novella of paperwork and a background check, but Cletus can buy a pallet of flamethrowers for "agricultural" reasons.
Cletus can also buy a pallet of explosives for "agricultural" reasons. Not that I'm against it, land management is some serious business that requires some serious power at times.
Most .50's are only about 5 grand, the nice ones get up around 10-12K...don't think ive seen a home for under 20k for a long time. even then it likely wouldnt be livable.
@@fishfish406i have they are called trailers
@@fishfish406 eh, I found one in the 2010's
@@fishfish406 it's the ammo where it really hurts. Not only finding it but the cost
"This is my rifle. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My rifle is my best friend. It is my life."
woe to they that ever dropped theirs
So i never used to think narrations like this where that insane but HOLY this guys voice tone is just minotone and the right build of speed and expression through his voice it just outstanding i love your work and the amount of content you have you will always be up there with even david attenburough for me (no idea if that how u spell his last name) but that u for all your hard work to perfect your art
He's good isn't he?, tone and pitch, enough variation in voices without being over the top... Skillz
I tell people that he has the voice of "milk chocolate" and wait for them to be confused. Then I explain that dark chocolate is amazing, but you can have milk chocolate and never get overwhelmed. That's when I show them Agro's channel
Even a human needs to practice to stay proficient with firearms. I wouldn't trust anyone with firearms who doesn't. Four years with no shooting is a no go.
It's not like he's using standard munitions and aiming at small targets.
Plus it's fine, he has the class 3 license and is a professional, if enthusiastic.
@@smmk88 That Class 3 license expires every 2 cycles? He would need to requalify for renewal. Yes I agree it is a bureaucratic money grab but it is the rules. Also don't count on an extension. They are only good for 1 cycle and if you fail to renew it before the extension is up you must wait an additional half cycle to reapply. Its best not to play around and find out with bureaucracy.
In space, being a hippy dippy pacifist isn't the best idea.
Training in guns, martial arts, space faring, and you just increased your chances from none to good
With this stiff of regulations, there probably are plenty of 'technically' not a gun devices. Like how there are compressed air riffles that who's bullets exit the barrel with up to 90% the velocity of what are legally firearms, in a range of calibers.
I agree! In fact, I'm overdue to the range😜
WOOOOOOO nice shoot. here is your like and comment as payment for the story and to help your channel grow and get you the recognition you deserve.
Space pirates: attack research vessel
Human: "WELCOME TO DEMOLITION RANCH! Today we will see if an AntiMatter M82A8 .50cal gravrifle can go through a 3rd rank freighter, so....will it stop a bullet?"
Thank you!! Argo there are very few who can read a story and make it come ALIVE like you do WITH ENERGY!!!
This human likes guns, I was a soldier then in the police for 32 years combined. Unfortunately I live in the UK and it's not that easy to get a gun here.
Vacation in Texas if you can. We have shooting ranges of all sorts with firearms that can be rented at those ranges.
@@michaellewis3226 including TANKS!!!
A gun is just a very complicated way to throw a rock. So with that in mind, what are the odds that aliens have even developed the concept? Or, maybe, something entirely different that we have never thought to think of.
Probably very high, unless their biology is lacking the capability. Hitting something with something else is about as basic a concept as it gets and is basically universal for tool use. Throwing something just adds a distance factor. Now there are other potential weapons concepts, poison, radiation, weight, etc. But from an evolution standpoint doing anything from a distance is basically a straight upgrade compared to having to get in close and personal to bite, sting, burn, irradiate, crush, etc. Something that doesn't get in close is going to have a better chance of survival if something goes sideways. Though there are other methods that work around that, bee, wasp, and ant swarms for example.
It's really not that complicated. A rail gun is complicated.
@@merlinathrawes746 Rail guns are actually NOT complicated at all. The only limiting factor is the power source. We could make ship based ones but building a vehicle around a single gun is usually not smart. Yes, I am aware the Warthog exists...and it is the exception that proves the rule. Rail guns require a LOT of power and magnetic shielding. We haven't quite cracked the shielding requirements because of the power requirements for that shielding. This hasn't been cracked fully due to those working on it not having access to things like nuclear power plants dedicated to providing power for testing purposes.
Love the ad-lib for the "nice shot" there. Probably fits fully anyway in character.
I see many men I've known in young John. They're like Legos. For adults.
Thanks much for keeping us up to speed and I'm looking forward to hearing you when all your thrusters are firing!
Expensive but life saving
Here I am dreaming about a Barrett in .50BMG. I need to dream bigger. For the algorithm. Good story.
Denal makes a rifle in 20mm. It is single shot in that configuration but can be changed to 14.5mm or 50BMG with a five round and ten round magazine, respectively. Dream big, my friend :)
@@amorphoussolid8512 We really need a 69mm canon for the NICE.
Great story.
What I wouldn't give to get my hands on that gun!!!
Can't blame John. A brand new toy ALWAYS needs to be played with!
No shit!
We humans like earth-shattering kabooms! "It blow-ed up real good!"
Jamie wants big boom!
Shame even other spacefaring creatures are terrified of a little pop gun. It’s the person/being using it you might need to fear. +40 years ago I might get physical to protect family. Now I turn threats into non-threats.
Humans being himbos is the best. This story is amazing
I keep seeing Jayne with Vera in her own space suit taking out a space station...
"take me out to the black"
Fascinating story concept. I would really like to see it fleshed out into a novel.
"Enough is not enough, too much is just right." (Hotrodders expression, but fits) ;-)
This whole “Humans love guns and love to collect them is bullsh…” (opens gun safe…1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8…um…hmmm).
Doesn't the average American own like 12 guns?
@@NeSeeger the average American does not disclose how many firearms they truly own.. lol
@@xessq1 so an even dozen is a good guess then
@@NeSeeger i loved this when i read it the first time.. lol ..... how many guns should a normal person have? - about five - that sounds like a gun enthusiast to me - no, a gun enthusiast has fifteen - that sounds like someone obsessed with guns - no, people obsessed with guns have hundreds - that sounds like a psycho - no, psychos seldom own guns, or just get one or two - that sounds like a normal person though.. - no, a normal person has about five, we already covered that...
Man i really need to get me one of those rifles lol. There is a damn squirrel that keeps raiding my bird feeders and leaving tracks all over the top of my car. A shot with one of those would teach the little bugger a lesson.
Oh my! The BFG9000 got an upgrade.
John's just a kid with a new BB-gun. Wait till he upgrades to a pellet gun.
lol i loved the story and would like to hear more from this setting and maybe john's career specifically
i am curious about the weapon 5 categories: 3 were civilian and number 5 was military. what about cat 4? or just typo?
thanks for the narration
again best wishes with the upcoming surgery and recovery. take all the time needed to heal
I wondered too, but then decided they meant category 4 and 5 to be military only
@@Wotan874 makes sense
My guess is Police weapons
Yup 4 planet buster and 5 star destroyer, those two are military only. Can't be giving your average Joe the ability to wipe out a homeworld in one shot. Gotta make him shoot atleast 3 or 4 times for that ;)
They said the more powerful ones were military only, so that would seem to be cat 4 and 5. Although the CRX 9001 is obviously over 9000, so I would have guessed it to be at least cat 4? ;)
itś nice to see that your able to do narrations again hope your health got better
LOVED this one Agro! Being from the Southern US I can attest that if some guys could get one, they would LOL
Technically, it is a mining tool, so Classification 3 is appropriate.
Well, a "clear up after mining" tool, really; but your point is well made. Shouldn't even be classed as a weapon... really... It's a more efficient vacuum cleaner for large rocks.
Just cos humans are capable of weaponizing anything, well... shouldn't matter now, should it?
Sufficiently sized industrial equipment is only different from weapons by intent of use.
It doesn't matter if a man has a shovel or a bulldozer. If he has killing intent , he is going to use every tool willingly at his access to that intent.
You have to realize that humans started off as a prey species. Part of the purpose of our weapons is to ensure that no aggressive predator species gets a chance to learn this.
LOL I needed that! Well done Agro Squirrel!!
I can’t speak for all humans, but I am personally quite fond of them.
Thanks man. you just made a subscriber. You are really good at this.
I wanna write a book based on John's career in exploration now.
ROFL!!! Great story and great narration!
Love this story.... perhaps it's because I've met "John" several times on various work crews myself. I believe he is what is generally called "A Good Ol' Boy."
Maybe "A few degrees off plumb," but as the Captain came to conclude, a great guy as long as you keep him on your side. Generally, not too hard to do.
Speak well of his guns, like you would of his wife, and you'll be just fine.
I enjoy your selection of stories. there have been a few I wish there were chapter 2 or next editions, but they all seem to have a good bit of humor.
The gun you don't have is the one that could save your life.
Humans be like:This is my emotional support handheld antimatter cannon
Yipee kai aye!
This is about the best HFY story we've heard. And it fits in with the mindset that humans, including me, I might add, we need bigger guns. Just in case, ya know?
This one is ALWAYS Worth a re-listen !!!
How you do the voices and such is amazing, also very much apricate being able to read along, I suffer nerve deafness and some times will miss what is being said.
Yay! Guns?
AND DON’T FORGET IT!! I have been listening to this to everything Agro reads for 3 days and counting! Need to cancel Audible and give Agro the money!!
Love your work as always. You sound much better from your cold. Please keep up the Great work.
Maaan i belt the rush from firing off that gravity ripple gun was amazing lmao
Thank you for your help, John, now please put that War crime stick back in it's case and never pull it out again unless we're all going to die...
.....It's never a war crime the first time..... ----TFE
I like to think this is the humanity of Warhammer 40K, but of the Golden Age of Technology, several thousands lf years even before the rebellion of the Man of Iron
Xeno: Don't you think that gun is a little........what's the human word, Over kill?
Human: There is no such thing as over kill. It's called being thorough.
Human: Overkill?? Nah, it ain't that. I just don't wanna be bothered having to worry about the double tap.
Greetings, Mentlegent!
For the Rhyhtm that is Algo
Shall not be infringed
That was great. Thanks for the laughs. Greetz from Germany
This one made me chuckle.
FOR THE NANITE SWARM
Thank you for the reading
John's like "The answer? Use a gun. And if that don't work, use more gun."
Loved it.
Great story. I really need it.
Nice start.
This story had me rolling on the floor! XD
Bravo Sir Encore!
For the Algorithm11!
For Agro's Health!
Thunderstorms are calming, because if you have to stay put... the other guys have to stay put too!
Not ONLY do we "Like Guns"... We also are VERY Proficient with them.
Especially those of us from that Provence called America.
Although... You should see what a Terran could do with Bladed Weapons.
Plus... We work VERY WELL as Marshals, Bounty Hunters, and Security Grunts.
Don’t leave home without one
Human: "So you got an Illudium P-36 Explosive Space Modulator mounted as the main gun on your battle cruiser? That's cute."
Several of my close friends fall squarely into this Human category.
One had three Lahti L-39s.
The Lahti L-39 is a Finnish 20 mm anti-tank rifle used during the Second World War.
One of which belongs to me, due to dumbassery on our part.
The story is his Grandfather purchased them from the back of a magazine prior to 1968, and a metric shit ton of 20mm ammunition.
To this day no one actually knows why his grandfather bought them.
But they are awesome……..although care should be taken when firing them. Otherwise you end up in the base hospital with a broken collarbone among other injuries.
Good Story - Thanks
I love this story
Hehehe...man portable point singularity weapons....
He just wanted to welcome them to there new lives.. a radioactive half life of a few hundred years.
we do love our weapons of chaos, we kind of had to develop that obsession after all
if a grav-ripple gun is a simple Cat 3 gun....what the hell kind of weapons are the Humans developing?
Humanity: *gives a wide grin* you might have to redo the weapon classification stuff in the coming year
"I solve practical problems, for instance: how am I going to stop some mean mother Hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous beehind?
The answer, use a gun, and if that don't work... Use more gun."
Now the bigger question is which toy should i use? 12-gauge double barrel boomstick? The .45 ATM Hardballer? Phased plasma rifle in the 40-watt range? Ahhhh, yes! The BFG! 😎
I think we need some bigger guns!
Next time, warn the damned pirates , that you have an armed human on board. It will save time.
As gun freaks go, young john is not that bad. He hasn't customised his weapon, to the point it can destroy whole planets. YET!
Needs moar dakka
What threat level is a Hurricane because I love to play in them, and the waves are pretty good at the beach.
For the Algorithm! For the Narrator!! and for the Beard!!!
This is known as "Taking the fight to the enemy". As an aside, I live in the USA. We have more guns than people. (I think latest estimates are three per man, woman, or child). Ammo? In the billions. (With a 'B').
15mph with gusts of 30mph... That's just some moderate winds.
So, a temporary micro black holes shooting gun capable of making a small moon implode is a class 3 weapon that a civilian can legally use... And it can shoot bursts of up to 12 shots, but only because, by law, it's not allowed to shoot more ?
humans do LOVE there guns very much.
Next time the crew meets pirates:
Commander: "John, do you see that pirate ship?"
John: "Yes, sir."
Commander: "Well I don't want to."
John: *wide grin* "Yes sir!"
I have this cannon called 2nd Amendment artillery which shoots out Patriot shells. Next, this is a Democracy rifle that shoots out 6000 Freedom bullets per second. _"Murica!!!"_
BTW, did anyone lose it when they described how a thunder whose noise sounds like a WMD is enough to put a human to sleep? XD Fucking rain, lol!
Captain: "John, what the hell are you doing?"
John: "The answer? use a gun. if that dont work, use more gun"
Captain: *switches freqs to contact the pirates* "um... run"
Good voice for narration
Can’t beat a good gun !😊
What about weaponized hugs? Not as an alternative but an addition to our arsenal?