Americans Don't Understand British Communication: here's why
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- Опубліковано 10 лют 2025
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Please leave your best "what I'm saying is not what I actually mean" saying or phrase below!
Can you do this please, when you get a chance?.....Please do this NOW!!!😅😅😅😅😅
Or on a personal level.."She's got a nice personality!".....IE she is hideous looking!!!😮😮😮😮😮
I do tend to use Clarkson’s “that’s not gone well” to summarise a disaster.
With the greatest of respect... (WTF drugs have you taken, that idea is the worst!)
We might have a little bit of a situation on our hands here = our collective demise is imminent
Heard a joke once, but punchline phrase is standard Scottish.
A professor of language lecturing students in Glasgow pointed out that in some languages a double negative in a sentence meant a stressed negative (that is not NOT real), in others it meant a positive (that is not unreal), but you could never get a double positive to mean a negative.
'Yeah, right' shouted one of his students.
Ken.....
thats great i never even thought of that being a double positive to mean a negative b4 its just so ingrained in my brain as subtle derision lol
That's not Scottish, definitely British.
@jonathanmccoll4512 I always feel bad for the Scottish, my nana moved to Wick in 2005 and those poor Scots have been suffering ever since.😂
@LordJord001 If your implication is right, then I imagine she'll fit right in with the Wickers! :)
'When you get a minute' DOES NOT mean 'do this now'. If someone has asked you to do something, it is important to them and they want to see it done but they also want to show respec to your time and work by recognising that you might have something more urgent to work on. Show repect in turn by managing your time to fit it in.
If I asked if people want anything for lunch, I mean it. I don't want to do 10 people's sandwiches but am happy to pick up a couple of things.
I agree with both these examples. If anyone meant anything different, as per the examples in the video, I'd think them rude.
In our staff room, we often offer to get things for our colleagues when going down to the coffee shop on the ground floor of the college, or when popping out to the shop at lunchtime. And we mean it! It's common courtesy.
As an Australian, I second this.
@@emilydavison2053 Same with me. Maybe it's a London or southern thing. I'm from the Midlands.
Yup, you perhaps don't know how important other stuff they're working on is, plus someone can finish what they are working on, "when you get a minute" doesn't mean "now", but if you're asking someone to do something, it probably needs doing in a reasonable timescale. If it was low priority, you'd say "it's a low priority, by Friday is fine", if someone doesn't give a timescale, assume -today-. If you can't fit the work in today, tell them. Tell them tell them tell them tell them. This is the biggest frustration, people accepting work you're sharing because you're really struggling with deadlines, and then it not being done and then having to do it yourself at 1am. Arrrrgh 😢
But you should always ask how busy someone is and when they should be able to do it by... And they should give a proper answer and update you if things change. I'm realising I've possibly been let down a couple too many times 😂
Can you check if the window is open = close it
Can you check that the window is open = open it
❤ from Northeast England ❤️
Totally agree.
can you check if window's open lass , if it is shut it ! an' hurry up ! from north west !
@@raymonray5444
Aye, same here.... but lets not blame ourselves. We learned bad English and worse English.
Hey, that makes us all bilingual 😂
Geordie and both mean make sure it's open. I *might* go and look then come back and say nothing, then relay the information if asked (usually in exasperation).
Thinking about this, I've also noticed more men struggle to pick up on these high context ways of speech, and obviously anyone on the spectrum.
Just to add: does anybody want anything? Is very much a genuine question. But you should only ask for things that wont inconvenience the person, and always try to give them the money for the thing you asked for (they may refuse, and you dont have to keep insisting)
So if i say im popping out to greggs for lunch, does anyone want anything? It would be reasonable to ask me to pick you up a sausage roll as greggs sell those. It would not be reasonable to ask me to stop by McDonalds on the way and get you a burger.
Yeah it tends to mean 'do a couple of people want a couple of small things while I'm there?'
It is a genuinely sincere offer, but it doesn't mean the entire office should jump onto that offer and it doesn't mean you're doing a full-on lunch run.
OH NO! Hate this.
I have a counterexample to American directness. The context was a rafting trip with a group of Brits, in which the guide was American, and we came to a stretch of river that required us to paddle really hard. We were giving it everything, and the guide called out "That's good!", and we thought she was pleased with us so we kept paddling like crazy. A few seconds later she called again "I said that's good!" We carried on, until finally she yelled "Stop!" at which point we stopped. She asked "Why did you keep paddling when I said 'That's good'?" Apparently in American that means something like "you've done enough so you can stop", which was far from obvious to us. It seems that not everything in American communication is as direct as you might think!
So true, if someone is serving you food you say "I'm good," when you want them to stop. Americans are so expecting to hearing this phrase they might just keep going if you say, "that's enough, thanks." It's obvious after you've heard it the first time.
Indeed. The first time I heard the expression “tell me about it” was in California in 1988. And I did tell her about it 🤦♂️
That sounds confusing 😅
I give you : "I could care less...."
I don't think this is an example of communication style (as covered by the video), but rather an example of a word or phrase having varying meanings or implications across dialects
A lot of this sort of thing is due to the desire to not appear rude.
We don't want to actually call out a boss/coworker as an incompetent idiot, we just want to heavily imply it.
Plausible deniability.
There are regional differences though. In places like Yorkshire, Birmingham, Manchester and Liverpool people tend to prefer direct communication a lot more, and get a bit annoyed if you try the southern indirect type of talking too much.
@@ajs41 Not so much Liverpool or Manchester, we also have context-based communication. And even the stereotype of the 'straight-talking Yorkshireman' isn't entirely accurate.
@@ajs41 I've never experienced people getting annoyed with the indirectness or labelling it "southern" - from Nottingham
@@baronmeduseI'm from deep fairy country and that is not our stereotype of northerners, mate. 😂😅
British doctors know that if a patient says "Oh, by the way..." at the end of a consultation, that's what they're mainly concerned about.
thats me
And if we say " Thanks anyway, Doctor" it means the GP totally missed the real reason for the visit.
In the US we have an annual physical exam which is commonly fully covered by medical insurance and you don't owe anything on this one. However, I've learned the hard way that the moment you say: Oh by the way... Many clinics have a policy to treat that visit as a problem visit, so mf-ers charged the insurance for 2 visits and I had to pay $50 copay 😢
@@bugtracker152 i'm sure those in the UK will be paying for primary care consultations before long. The current system is unsustainable.
@@ChimpingBulldog Many people don't realise that the GPs they are seeing now, work for an independent company who contracts to the NHS. People paying privately won't just suddenly make more GPs appear from nowhere, they will be the same people.
Being a Brit that worked for US companies for over 20 years, I can tell you, your video is absolutely brilliant.
You should start a corporate British / American communication company.
You do not come over to the UK and in front of all her employees, tell them that their female MD , here, is full of spunk.
OMG, did that really happen?🤭
Nothing like having a woman full of spunk !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
In the same boat here re working for Americans for a couple of decades. I'd sometimes spend an hour with my American boss quietly translating English English into American English so he'd understand what what my British colleagues had just said in a meeting. By the end of his time in the UK he'd say "that's interesting" to the bloke who'd just presented the dumbest idea in Christendom, and our eyes would meet across the conference table....
Even if she is, that isn't appropriate at work.
Yes, we have that word here, too, but only 12 year old boys would find it funny. 🤣
When Americans say "You're doing great, great job!" it just sounds like the most insincere thing anyone can say.
As a Brit, I have to agree. When people use superlatives about everything, it devalues the praise and makes it difficult to be convincing when you want to praise something strongly. That isn't a problem we Brits have . . . !
Agreed. I ordered my meal in an American restaurant and the waiter gushed how "awesome!" my choice was.
Absolute peak insincerity.
And patronising too.
@@georgeprout42 did you say 'don't take the bloody piss, love!'
@@georgeprout42 when he asked later if everything was okay, did you say that the food was „edible“?
UK born and raised here. I immediately thought of Yes Minister the TV series: "Brave decision Minister" which of course caused the Minister to go into paroxysms of worry that it was an extremely bad decision.
"Controversial" means this will lose you votes. "Courageous" means this will lose you the election.
That also depends on how you say it, as well as the words.
Omg I was just thinking of that one! 🤣 🤣
I wonder what Americans would make of Yes Minister? I'm sure it would go well over their heads.
@@repr0bate1 Some might have finally gotten their heads around it after a challenge of 30+ years to figure it out😉.They might find Rick Mayall's ( RIP & what a Giant of Comedy ) "The New Statesman " - easier to follow - and laugh at.
German here. Having watched so many American UA-camrs complain about The German Directness, this is fascinating. 😊
Alot of us have German ancestry and we all understand directness. It depends where you are from.
@@greghamann2099 I have heard „blunt, harsh, rude“ from Americans who live here. But I‘m glad to hear that there are others that do understand our ways. 🙏🏻😃
I once read of businesses from mainly English speaking countries like UK, US, Canada, Australia sending their executives to a "Learn to Speak English" course. We English speakers especially Canada, US, Australia and maybe the UK too use many metaphors, sayings, slang in everyday speech. We are so used to it. A German or person not used to English may struggle with some of the sayings we use all the time.
@@dg-hughes Some. Some, he says. It's been 40 years.
or the Dutch, the Finnish or Scandinavians
Had a mate at university, somewhat older than us, who described everything from absolute perfection to an utter clusterfuck as "marvellous" - it was all in the pitch and spin, you knew exactly what he meant.
He from Newcastle? That's what we say, meaning "there is no salvaging this and give up"
marvellous either means delightful in a good way or “this is going so terribly its actually entertaining “
If I had to explain stuff to you. It's so much easier to do it myself. Your sacked!
First one - asking you to check THAT the window is open means it needs to be open - asking you IF the window is open means that it needs to be closed.
That’s easy.
That's very true I never thought of that subtle difference in the way we speak. I probably would have just asked them to clarify if it was meant to be open or closed before going up 😂
Communication is a joint responsibility. If you're unsure, ask.
My thoughts exactly
Yes
My (northern English) husband taught me (southern English) to understand his mother. When i asked her if she wanted something, if she said "i don't mind" this was an enthusiastic yes. If she said "I'm not bothered" that meant she *really* didn't want it.
im from Manchester, my Dearly beloved was raised in Doncaster.. in our early days I asked if she wanted to go to the cinema, she replied "I'm not bothered," so i offered to buy the tickets. She was perplexed saying "but I said Im not bothered" in Manchester that means " I have not real opinion, happy either way" in Doncaster it means " i do not want to do this"
"I don't mind" is a shortening of "I don't mind if I do".
A guy from the Deep South(ern US) once told me that where he came from, "I don't mind" means that the person *does* mind--in other words (my best attempt to explain the logic), "don't mind" seems to mean, "I wouldn't contemplate it."
As a British native with Asperger's, I feel your pain. But be assured, it only takes a few decades to figure it all out!
.... 66 and counting, still trying to figure it all out. 😉😆
Yeah... but no. As far as I know I'm not on any "spectrum" but I just want a plain simple instruction. "Can you check if the windows are open, and if they are, please close them."
@alex_the_balding_fat_man
Alex, as someone who is on the spectrum…you might be on the spectrum.
I have Asperger's, too.
I am English.
I am 43.
I have such dry humour and a neutral speech tone that the only way people can tell when I'm joking is if I smile. I've had to fight people in the past because I said something I thought was an obvious joke, but it was taken personally. It is very rare that I take anything seriously, but I only laugh in my head (is that an Asperger's 'thing?) so most people can't tell whether I'm joking or not without that smile. I was in my mid 20s before anyone told me that I don't laugh like normal people. I hadn't realised the disconnect between my brain and my body.
Until you think about it and then get confused all over again.
Following a fire at the welding/fabrication shop I was working at at the time - a hydraulic pack had sparked off &, despite us emptying six fire extinguishers on it, was cheerfully consuming several million pounds worth of equipment not to mention severely damaging the building - & all we could do was stand at a safe distance & wait for the Fire Brigade - my manager turned to me & said "That's a bit unfortunate, isn't it?" To which I replied "Yeah - I think we are going to have a little bit of trouble getting this weeks orders out." An American listening in would probably think we were experiencing a minor inconvenience rather than watching half the business go up in flames.
It’s like the message a British pilot said over the intercom to his passengers when all four engines had stopped working and he called it a “little inconvenience”.
@@molybdomancer195 That was Capt. Eric Moody who sadly died recently, after his Jumbo Jet, a Boeing 747, ran into an invisible (at night) cloud of volcanic ash over Indonesia: "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We have a small problem. All four engines have stopped. We are doing our damnedest to get them going again. I trust you are not in too much distress." A masterpiece of understatement. Oh, and they did of course get them going again... eventually!
@@molybdomancer195 To me, a "little inconvenience" is a blocked toilet that should clear with a second flush.
@@1947daveno doubt after losing at least ten thousand feet of altitude in the process.
@@mothmagic1 14 minutes and 25 thousand feet before all engines restarted
We Brits are masters of sarcasm, banter, and not saying what you mean. Unless someone from another country is VERY aware of this, i can imagine how difficult it would be to get to grips with it 😂😂
Its very much how you say it and the face that says it. We could say something is interesting and mean it or say it sarcastically but the former would probably have an immediate follow up with more questions
@@theotherside8258 You don't say. We Germans would never try to out-sarcasm you.
@@KaiHenningsen Ha! Very clever! You've struck just the right balance so we don't know if you mean it, or have been quietly taking the piss out of us all these years. You're not Henning Wehn are you?
Canadians as well have inherited this trait as a result of our commonwealth membership.
Even worse writing it online.
Your last point about the statement - ‘when you get a minute’ doesn’t mean do it now, it means that I don’t know what you are currently doing, or how important that is, so can you do what I am asking as soon as you can!
It can mean two things: said unsarcastically, it means "do it when you're ready". But it can also be said sarcastically, meaning "you really ought to have done it by now, so you'd better do it as quickly as possible!"
Yeah I agree, as soon as you can. It has some priority for me, please don't forget.
Agreed. It means "this needs doing pretty soon but I'm not literally asking you to abandon your current task and do it immediately"
I've definitely experienced it as "I don't know what you're doing, or how important it is, but it can probably wait until you've done this."
I used to work as a cross cultural coach and some of my clients were Americans dealing with British colleagues (and v.v). Indirectness of communication is a well known feature of British culture - or to be more precise, southern English - much less so in Northern England and Scotland where forthrightness/directness is more common. Because a lot of my work was about cross cultural communication in business, I collected examples of misunderstandings and used them in future training/coaching sessions. One of my favourites was:
English Project Director in team meeting, to team leader: “I wonder if you’d like to get your team to have another look at the content of the client presentation? Then tomorrow we can have a chat about our strategy for the meeting”.
What British team heard : “You screwed up, the presentation is awful, but there’s time to recover the situation if you and your team get on it right now and revise it. Bring it to me tomorrow so I can check it’s good to go.”
American team leader heard: “No big deal, a few minor alterations required, boss is just a bit nervous because it’s a big client.”
Most of the Midlands prefers direct talking as well. It could be a minority of the country that does this indirect type of speaking.
@ajs41 this may be why i struggle in the midlands as a southerner 😂 my partner takes things really literally as he is from here and im always like YOU KNEW WHAT I MEANT... turns out he doesnt always know what i meant 😂
@@ajs41 have lived and worked in Nottingham my whole life, I can't say that I agree
I like "Is that the time?". This can variously mean "I'm fed up with talking to you", "Don't you have somewhere else to be?" or "Why don't you just bugger off?"
Normally just a subtle, deep breath and an appropriately inflected, "Anyway..." Will also do the trick. See also "Soooo, I'll let you get on..."
@@jneilson7568"I'll let you get on" is one short step away from "OK, sod off right now "
@@DanBeech-ht7sw 😆
Literally earlier today my friend used "what time is it" to get me to leave their house because they wanted to go to bed
'I'm going to let you go' means the same. Except in an office. Then it means you're fired.
The 'Im just popping out for Lunch, does anyone want anything?' Isnt a hard and fast I dont want peoples orders, they will often be quite happy to get one or two items like a chocolate bar or a can of drink for one or two people. They just dont want ten people giving them a full lunch order.
Yeah I though exactly this. I would never ask if someone wants something if I didn't mean it, just us Brits know to not go overboard if taking advantage of the offer, that's bad manners.
@@W0rdsandMus1c Then you, duck, must be up North!
My answer to this question would be “can you get me half a hundred weight of potatoes (that’s 56 lbs) and a nice cauliflower please”. This would be met with a bemused ‘are you serious’ look. 😂
@@sroberts605 Nope, nothing to do with north versus south - I work in London and anybody asking if anyone wants anything would mean it in my workplaces.
I think there really is a bit of a North/South divide thing: when I worked in London the couple of other Northerners in the office would take me up on the offer to pick up anything while I was out from day one, but it took the Londoners more time to realise I really meant it. It got to a point where I had to specify "I'm only going to the sandwich shop across the road, does anyone want anything from there?" unless I wanted to spend most of my lunch hour chasing down everyone's orders. But I was brought up to always do stuff like politely make the offer, it's only now I'm typing this that I'm realising I didn't have to do it at all, most people never even offered.
(It's also now occurring to me that later on, in a different job, I probably didn't need to make up to nine other people tea or coffee every morning just because I wanted a cuppa. But where I'm from that's just what you do; if you're the one who's making tea you offer because it would be unconscionably unfriendly not to do so. I think it just goes hand in hand with the way we're usually automatically pretty hospitable in the far North of England too, I'm always apologetic if I can't offer a guest something relatively substantial to eat, even if they spring a surprise visit on me! ("Here's your coffee, I'm really sorry, but I've not been to the shops yet this week and I've only got biscuits." - with a guilty feeling that I should probably have at least made sandwiches). Pretty much everyone I know round here is similar, so I guess that's just a cultural thing?)
If a Brit says “wonderful” or “fantastic”, “tremendous” “brilliant” etc BUT with a falling tone of voice…it is sarcasm and means the exact opposite of that word. A rising tone means take it literally, I am happy.
I'm a Brit (Geordie) living in the northeastern US, and I find praise/criticism is one area where Americans are not literal at all. Where a Geordie might often say, "That's a **** stupid idea!", in the US most will want to avoid giving offence (offense!) and will say, "That's awesome!" If the American says it with genuine enthusiasm, they like the idea, but if the tone is different it means they think it's a stupid idea, or mediocre. (This is why everything here in the US is "awesome" or "amazing"!). I worked with a lot of working class Geordies, and they can use devastating wit and subtlety when they choose, but also be brutally direct at other times.
Livin' the dream. In a minor key.
Tone is very important to Brits, which is why emails are so often misread.
@@MrThebigcheese75 Hence the rise of Smiley etc & Emoji etc tags.
lol yes I say bloody brilliant when clearly it’s so not 😂😂
I've had issues when describing someone as being a lovely person. To an American, I am describing what they look like but to us British, it usually means they have a pleasant character. They can be as ugly as sin but still be a lovely person.
I'm from the US, and would think it could mean either one. Where I'm from, "lovely" sounds like an adjective an older person might say.
@@miriamrobarts I am guilty of being advanced in years. Ha!
Yes, I always think 'lovely' is about character, personality before anything else.
Your window example made your point perfectly, as it never occurred to me that someone would look to see if the window was open but not close it in response to that statement. It made me realise how I take understanding of the hidden meaning for granted.
This is so true. Brit with an American boss. I have a reverse example. My boss praised my honesty. I asked if that meant I complained a lot or had a brutal communication style. She literally meant she knew I would tell her my truthful opinion!
@@alanstrang277 Yes! A manager a few years ago told me he loved my honesty while laughing and wincing as he read an email I'd cc'ed him in to. I later realised he meant "Ouch, that was rather impolitic". But it needed saying, so I chose to carry on taking him to mean he loved my honesty. Ironic really 😎
What's your greatest weakness?
Interpreting semantics of a question but ignoring the pragmatics
...Could you give an example?
Yes, I could.
I love self-referencing jokes.
@@thiloreichelt4199 Is it ignorance or is it apathy? I don't know and I don't care.
@@leisti Than do not comment.
While I have to infer that you somehow dislike my comment, I do not understand what you are trying to express.
@@thiloreichelt4199 I'm so sorry: I should have been more literal, and written something like this:
"Since you like self-referencing jokes, here's another one: Is it ignorance or is it apathy? I don't know and I don't care."
@@leisti Sorry, I do not get it this time. But I'm German, I'm not supposed to understand humor anyhow.
Brilliant explanation - and I mean it, despite being a Brit! I was once trying to find the “rest room” in an American hotel but couldn’t and had to go back to the concierge for more help. I began with “You must think I’m really stupid…” and back came the reply “Oh no sir, I don’t think you’re stupid at all!”
- "Could you check the window?"
- "Yeah sure - you want it closed?"
That would be the response I'd expect 😊
If in doubt, ask!
.....I feel cold, can you check if the front door is open?.....yep it's open 😂
can you throw to peas in the pot?....yep, two peas
@@MarisaPaola-um5ybI have this 'caught in the middle' situation with my British husband quite regularly. He feels I go overboard when I check on things or explain things, but I'm well aware of how easily things can be totally misunderstood. He finds this condescending or controlling, but heaven help me if there's a misunderstanding because either way, I'm always at fault. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. 😢
was just about to say, this is pretty much exactly how the conversation would go - we often follow up with a question of confirmation of assumed intent according to context - think some people are acting like we're telepathic
As I overheard an English professor of chemistry say to a (post)graduate student: well, it's just a suggestion....but you might like to bear in mind who's making it". And then he left the lab and went back to his office.
Love that!
Irish here, living abroad. We use so much tonality as well. Rely heavily on sarcasm. ‘Isn’t this just lovely?’ Is a good example - can be face value but context matters. 2hr plane delay ‘well, isn’t that just lovely?’ Trending towards the negative side would be ‘well, that’s just wonderful’ - means ‘jesus Christ this is a disaster’.
I work in a multicultural European environment and in my particular office work on humour based methods. Non-native English speaking Colleagues have adopted this. Gallows humour. On my side I’ll put extra emphasis on tone, exaggerating it to make my meaning clear, and I also communicate more directly. A recent change in the makeup of colleagues in terms of nationalities has meant I’ve had to use language which I consider rude to an extent ‘it’s your job to ensure that this is done’ - that’s so hard for me to say as in a British or Irish work environment that would be one of the harshest criticisms that could be given. But in my case now, it’s simply that new colleagues don’t know who is supposed to do what and to avoid me having to do their job, I have to be super direct. It’s painful for me
I'm also Irish and I agree. Having to be so direct feels rude and entitled. To use the original anecdote "go close the window" would feel so bossy and entitled to say to someone. The subtext would be "I'm a bad person"
Funny thing I heard an American saying they tried to order food in some European countries and when they asked "can I get a coffee" (meaning I'd like a coffee) and got the straightforward reply that they can, it just left them confused why they weren't being given a coffee (as the employee didn't get a direct request for coffee).
So it seems that the US does use some hidden meaning (that would be understood in the UK, but maybe other non-English countries don't understand it since it's a second language to you).
Strangely, I found a lot of these aren't how I'm used to in the UK. Perhaps there's a bit of a regional divide. For example, when my boss asks me to do something when I have a minute, he actually means that. He means "You're busy with more important tasks but this needs doing once those higher priorities are done"
But I do agree with some of those where we understate our feelings of disappointment or excitement. I'm not sure if it's sarcasm, humility or what, but we definitely don't like to go to extremes of praise or criticism
Ah the beauty of British Sarcasm, has no limits!
I attended an English Grammar School. Seven years of perfecting sarcasm by both the boys and the masters.
@@derningtona Mine was next to The Kennington Oval in South East London,1965-71. Exactly the same:)
Ugh. Maybe Americans are just kinder. We consider sarcasm rude, whereas the British seem to think it’s a fun game.
The joy of British understatement. The phase ‘that could have gone better’ can mean that whatever you are doing has encountered some minor issues along the way, or that you have made a complete pigs ear of whatever you were trying to do.
As for the ‘we should meet up sometime’ it just far more polite than telling some one you’d be happy to never see them again.
It me "that could have gone better" means that was so badly, it's a wonder no-one ended in hospital, sued or fired, or possibly all three. It's not something you want to hear,
'That could have gone better' is the sort of thing you say when the engine you were testing blew itself to pieces and tore the test bed apart.
"That could have gone better..." is only half of the complete phrase. The second half isn't commonly spoken as a brit hearing it automatically completes it in their head - "...because it certainly couldn't have gone any worse."
If you really would like to meet them again, you have to be far more specific: "D'you fancy meeting for a drink tomorrow evening?" or "How about lunch next Tuesday?" is a clear message that you actually want to do it.
@@arabellamileham9978 Yes indeed. "A pig's ear" doesnt have an obvious meaning to anyone who hasn't been introduced to the concept already.
I’m an American (a mostly life-long New Yorker, if that’s ok) and if someone said to me “Hey, can you check if the upstairs window is open?” I would ABSOLUTELY assume I should IMMEDIATELY close the window to preclude problems that might arise while we were out, whether rain or gust of wind or whatever. Of course, this American/New Yorker was raised by very Irish parents, so the possibility of rain is always looming in the brain. (Maybe a native Californian should be forgiven in this situation, whether high or low context?)
I agree. Why else would you ask someone to check?
I think I would assume that they wanted the window open: 'check if the window is open' = 'the window should be open, so check and see that it is, and if not, then open it'.
@@williambulmer6389 agreed, I would say, check if or that the window is closed, if I want it closed. If I want it open then I'd use the word open.
@@sisterrosetta57 Sometimes it helps to cool a building down by opening that top window of the skylight. So in the morning that office that faced the sun wouldn't be too hot, especially in Summer .
And it would let in fresh air to an office room made stale by people & their work gadgets.
( Of course this isn't taking into account any perceived Security Risks and any risk of raindrops coming in. " Horses for Courses" eh?
@@williambulmer6389 but there would be context suggesting that it was too cold - why else would they ask?
Your observations are very astute, and in my opinion, the British indirectness reflects a desire to communicate, but not risk offending or embarrassing. As you say, it is just the way we are. I had similar issues when working in Germany and caused much confusion among German collegues when using sarcasm, understatement or a mild attempt at humour. Later, when my German has improved and I would use the same expressions but now in German, the 'confusion' was replaced by a lecture on what nonsence I was talking. Idioms do not work well outside their own habitat!
There's an apocryphal story dating back to WW2 when a US armoured column advanced ahead of a British infantry brigade. A wooded hillside was possibly thought to contain German troops. The British CO asked of the US CO 'Have you cleared the woods yet ? To which the American answered 'Yes'. The British infantry advanced and immediately started taking fire from enemy positions on the hill. Of course... by 'cleared' the Americans understood that they had got safely past the possible enemy positions and reached safe ground. The British on the other hand understood that the Americans had 'cleared' (neutralised) all enemy troops from that hillside, and that it was now safe to proceed.
See also the Battle of Imjin River in Korea, where the British Brigadier reported the situation of his 650 men, surrounded by 10,000 Chinese, as "pretty sticky" to his American commander. The intended message did not get through.
Not a bad video, incidentally.
@@simong9067 If I remember rightly the British troops had also run out of ammunition too, and the US General didn't get that the statement was a cry for help.
What the British CO should have asked was if the wood was cleared of all enemy occupation or activity.
@@davidmartin8211 What, the US should not have reported that they had cleared the woods of enemy combats if they had done nothing of the sort
@@AndoCommando1000 according to the story the US Commander was asked if they had cleared the woods with no discussion of combatant removal. It should have been cleared out. Linguistic shortcuts are very common but often lead to confusion.
"Is that right?" in a mediocre tone is the best reply I've ever heard to either accept, reject or mock a statement.
Is that so
Yeah right. Or just, right. Is very common here in Aus.
Female equivalent "REALLY,Now?
If you say so.
For real....
I had two duvets on the chair, one dark pattern the other light pattern I asked my colleague to pass me the light one. He picked both of them up and said " I don't know which one is light they feel about the same".
The magic word that you didn't say to them was 'pattern'.
Your colleague was winding you up.
Ig next time try "bright" not "light" 😂
Your observations and examples help me explain socio-cultural and socio pragmatics aspect of English to my teacher trainees at the Bursa Uludag University in Turkey. Many thanks. You are a very observant person.
I also think that culturally it is not so much about hidden meanings as politeness. In the UK "Are you making a coffee?" Is not even a request for coffee, but it can be a fishing expedition to see if the other person would offer one. The other person will feel bad if they have a reason not to make two and feel obliged. It allows the other person to make the offer. We also have the option to change our minds and move ahead and ask if they will make us one if they don't offer.. "Would you mind making me one if you're there?" Longer worded requests or two or more part requests are more polite in english because it is a way to show the other person you know it is a nusiance. The more trouble you put someone to, the bigger the favour, the longer the question or the longer the exchange.. "I'm so sorry and I don't want to be a nuisance but if it's not too much trouble would you mind... " Indirectness has a similar effect.
In the Netherlands, it's the opposite, it can be rude not to be direct.. so the level of directness comes from a place of sensitivity to others and good manners.
This is really true with use of swear words where context is everything. If you are in the pub and someone says "Oi, you xxxxer" it can mean the opposite depending on delivery- someone is picking a fight and you should get out, or an old and dear friend is about to buy you a pint.
Absolutely and if you hear someone being addressed as "pal" then there's about to be a bar brawl if the other guy doesn't back down smartish.
First day away from home (day #1 at Uni), it threw me when I encountered "Hey, you bastard" as a Geordie greeting between best mates.
Many Australians nearly always use expletives at some point in almost every conversation. A good friend you havent seen for several months will be greeted as "hey Bill, you [C U Next Tuesday]! " Someone you despise might be greeted with exactly the same words, just different body language or tone of voice. Very confusing for visitors to the country!
@@afpwebworks I watched an Australian dashcam video programme, and was appalled at the language: in one clip the driver went a whole 20 seconds without once saying "F***!"
I heard an American producer talk about his experience working with Aardman animations on the film Chicken Run. Nick Park and Co said they understood the notes given to them, and thought they were good ideas ... The producer came back to find they'd ignored his notes and did the opposite.
Fascinating!! I studied a little bit about Japanese communication in a business class once, so interesting and I'm a geek for learning about cultural things like this!
Of course they did! 🤣🤣🇬🇧👍
of course - the underlying context being ‘they were “good ideas” ‘ but not quite good enough to be utilised (like saying ‘interesting’ instead of ‘meh’)
That sounds typically British.
Now I'm wondering: if a British person wishes to express, literally, that someone else's ideas or contributions are good and/or interesting, how do they do it? That is, if "That's interesting" => "That's terrible", solve for X: X => "That's interesting".
Aw, Kalyn bless your little cotton socks 😜
"It's like a desert in here" is the one you need to know. It means my glass is empty and it's your round.
Man's not a camel 😂
Did somebody forget to pay the water bill?
Brilliant analysis! I'm a 77 yr old Brit, married to a Canadian and living in the US and even at my age this clarified so much that has baffled me in communicating with Americans. My Grandmother was from Lancashire and was as blunt as can be, and always said what she meant - so regional differences don't help in understanding either!
In Scotland we are raised with sarcasm and our mates ripping into us so language becomes a riddle :)
Yes, I have just finished my first 'Rebus' detective novel (based in Edinburgh) and find the sarcasm both stinging and very funny.
Also true of irish
Probably the best example - If you meet a Scot in rough pub in Glasgow and he calls you 'old pal' it does NOT mean he thinks you are an endearing long-term friend!!
'Aye Right', can mean, 'Naw' 😂
Ken.
Quite honestly in the first example I would immediately ask "Do you want the window open?" then knowing what is expected of me before going upstairs.
I woud say "Please go upstairs, if the window is open, then shut it"..:)
Brit here. This made me giggle. The classic British understatement is a cultural thing as is sarcasm/irony "a bit of a problem" may well mean a disaster or emergency but context tone and body language is important.
"Interesting idea" could mean interesting but could mean stupid or risky.
My British husband is pretty literal and would not have understood he was supposed to shut the window either though
Thanks for watching! I appreciate the solidarity from your British husband, at least there are a few Brits out there who would like you all to be a bit more direct as well. ;)
No love, your husband is just ignoring you.
@@GirlGoneLondonofficial There absolutely are, yes. Although I think the majority of us are autistic - I know I am.
@@Stephen-Fox Yep, I've run into interpretation problems because of that.
I'm English, and would've gone to check the window, shut it, and then come back and said "Yep, it was open" just as a silly joke, and then I'd tell e'm "that I'd closed it - was that a mistake? Should I go back and open it again?"..... sarcastic/silly humour that I love!! 😜
My first time ever hearing the phrase "you're all set" was when booking into a hotel in Long Island, New York. I just stood there, not understanding what she meant. She repeated it, then I asked, confused, because she didn't seem to be doing anything, if there was anything else she needed... to which she answered, "no, you're all set" and I think that's when the penny finally dropped!
😂 The window is a great comparison. Well done 👍
A lot of examples you cite are understatement. This is typically British and I use it frequently.
Yes, I remember a whimsical drama from the 70s. Someone was reading the diary of an antarctic adventurer, ' 12 miles from South Pole. A bit parky'.
For non Brits, 'parky' means cold. I don't know why.
By which you mean you use it a bloody lot ;-)
A difference between US and UK that I've noticed is that people from the US will say something like "I'm a great tennis player, or, yes, I played amazing tennis today." To the majority of people in the UK this would be considered arrogant bragging and you'd be laughed at for your lack of humility. A Brit would be less direct and downplay their skill: "Yeah, I'm not bad at tennis, I do enjoy it and I'm happy with how I played today."
If you ask a Brit how his tennis match went, a typical response of "it was a good game" will tell you he won. "My opponent played well" probably means he lost.
@@jrd33 yes, well said
My mum would often refer to American men who bragged as, 'the big I am.' It never failed to make me laugh.
So true
‘I dabble’ = World Class
I work for the EMEA region and see this a lot. I work with a lot of Germans and Dutch where directness is appreciated but as a Brit, we are well versed in reading between the lines, picking up on alternate meanings despite what is actually being said. My favorite examples of the low context/high context scale is with the Finnish. They are even more sarcastic than the Brits and a lot less emotional. If a Finn says "the project went OK" then a Brit will think it wasn't that good, an American will think it was good but a Finn will think wow, OK. That project was a massive success 🙂
In my experience, Finnish people do not catch on suddle sarcasm signs so our alternative is very dramatic so people in the room get the hint. Usually older people do not understand sarcasm at all. 😂
4:10 As a Brit, “I hear what you’re saying” is probably one of the most aggressive phrases I hear in every day life. It’s an absolute shutdown of what you’re saying. I hate hearing this phrase.
It effectively amounts to “You’ve wasted my time making this point, do what I say.”
I'm British working class, and I find we are direct but polite.
It's the middle class that are indirect and rude. If any one is vague about a task, I confirm back what I think they want, just to make sure
I worked on a chemical plant in the US (Alabama). The company was British owned, workforce American, commissioning engineers British. The section of the plant I was commissioning could theoretically 'exotherm' (explode) & great care had been taken in the design to eliminate the risk & everybody was aware of the problem. On the day of start up things were going slowly & I was bored, so over the intercom received by all I announced " All's fine, no exotherm yet". A typical British remark to make light of a serious situation, & as the plant wasn't a smoking ruin all was OK. The US manager went ballistic, I was never to mention the E word again unless it actually happened- somewhat lacking in sang-froid, I thought.
@charlesbrecknell4656
The manager was perfectly right. Any intercom message could be misheard, or only partially heard, so that 'exotherm' might be the only word heard, or recognised. This is about the limits of sound transmission, not culture.
Good point. When I was in the RAF we were told that if you got a ride in a fast jet then the pilot would never say the word "eject" unless it is time to bail out. He would say things like "we may have to abandon the aircraft" or words to that effect. If you heard him say "eject eject eject" you were meant to go on the first ej...
@@tomblack8211 Pilots and air traffic controllers also do this. The only time they use the word "takeoff" is when they are giving clearance for a plane to throttle up its engines and start accelerating down the runway. Any other time it's referred to as "departure", because you REALLY don't want someone to mistakenly think they're allowed to take off and go barelling down the runway as someone else is occupying it
I (a Brit) worked for a US company that had "thermal events" rather than e.g. "the car spontaneously caught fire, burned through the handbrake cable, rolled into another car and caused that car to catch fire too".
Tenerife
Favourite is 'it's not ideal' meaning it's an utter shambles
I remember seeing the films ‘Midway’ and ‘1917’ fairly close together, in Midway, the Americans had to big each other and themselves up, shouting about how great they all are. In 1917, the two British soldiers sent on a dangerous mission just quietly get on with it, without any histrionics. I know which approach I prefer.
You see exactly the same thing in videos from Afghanistan and Iraq. The US are all "hoo-ya, whoooo, that's what I'm talking about" and nearby Brits are just looking at them and thinking "pillocks"
@@Kyrelel When ISAF were searching the Tora Bora hills for Bin Laden and ran into some heavy resistance based around a fortified cave system, the resulting battles led to the Americans calling the area the 'Caves of Death' and the Brits nicknaming it 'Tora Bora Tomkinson'. I expect a few well-worn pin-up posters were eventually left there.
Thats pretty clear from how you've written about them. Then again, if you are from Britain that is what you are used to - it is normal. I know lots of Brits who have travelled to the US and find it funny when the plane reaches the east coast and the Americans on the flight whoop and cheer.
I noticed who you mentioned 1917 ... which coincidentally was the end of the war when the Americans finally decided to turn up when all the hard work was already done.
Americans cheer on a plane? How odd!
Perhaps they don't have faith in the airline, and they're cheering they made it in one piece.
As an Australian - another VERY direct bunch of people - I'm constantly second guessing when people in the UK say something nice about my work. I've never felt more uncertain about my skills and ability to do the job.
As a Brit with Asperger Syndrome, I'd love it if people said what they meant. For example, "Would you check the upstairs window; if it's open, would you close it please."
Not Asperger’s but I totally agree.
Say what you mean. I always thought not being direct was people being bad at communication and proper sentence construction.
Southern English here.
@@annefricker8474 I'm southern English too. Yeah, I'd say it's definitely people being bad at communication. The irony is that people on the autism spectrum are meant to be very bad at understanding and reading subtle language and body cues (which is certainly true to a greater or lesser extent depending on the individual), but by the same token so-called 'neurotypical people' can be terribe at understanding me and other people on the spectrum. It cuts both ways.
Just to give a very mundane example, I just went to my local small supermarket and when I put my basket down on the (small) checkout area next to the till, there was a Rustlers microwave burger in the way. I said to the cashier "What's that?" and she gormlessly replied that it was a burger. Of course it was, but what I really meant was "Get that thing out of the way", but I didn't want to be rude. Anyway, I replied "What I mean is, why is that there?". The bloke at the next till, who clearly had a bit more nouse, said that the previous customer had left it behind and that it needed to be put to one side, which the/my cashier then did. Why did she need prompting??? My mind often boggles at the gormlessness of people working in customer-facing jobs.
I think one of my favourite expressions in English is "With all due respect" ;)
YES! i.e With all due DISrespect...lol
Yeah, me too. You can say it quite sincerely to someone you think is due no respect at all 🤣
Yeah
Means “I literally could not have any less respect for you”
@@IsleofskyeIt's used in the Courts of the British Legal Systems quite frequently, too, along with referring to other barrister(s) as " My Learned Friend(s)".
@@noelsalisbury7448 Or, indeed,in The House Of Commons: "My Honourable Friend."...
It rains a lot in the UK and so you don't want to leave a window open, so if you are asked to check if a window is open then it is understood that if it is open, you would close it.
In Oz, my mother in law did not do well on a govt dementia assessment where shown a document and asked, "Can you read this out loud?" replied "Yes, of course".
This is not only extraordinarily accurate, it's insightful as to why.
This is directly linked to intellect and is a reflection of American individualism and American self-centred thinking.
It's just sarcasm, and americans not understanding that other countries do things differently. American sarcasm isn't true sarcasm, English sarcasm is. Some americans do understand UK sarcasm.
Swear words and obscenities in British English is something that scared the s+++ out my American friends at College. We use these words in every day conversations, but to the Americans it was rude and scary at times.
Some 20 years ago, buses in the Metropolitan Washington Area carried large ads for the Austin Powers movie "The Spy Who Sh***** Me"". That word was absolutely fine in the USA, but it would not have been acceptable in London (or, now, on UA-cam).
I am British and my parents and my generation would never have used bad or offensive language.
@@russellbradley454 Guess it all comes down to the communities one lives, Council Estates or Privet Estates, Cities or Farm Towns and so on.
Yes, it really depends. There's always a risk of overgeneralising. Maybe on average Brits are freer with swearwords, but it's far from unknown to come across an American who swears casually and profusely. I've never heard my mum (working class Brit) say anything stronger than "sod" (nor did her parents, while alive, at least not in my presence), although I expect "sod" sounds ruder to her generation than it does to mine.
The Irish and the Australians massively outswear the Brits.
If your on a train in the UK and a sweet little old lady (yes, maybe me) asks you quietly and politely if the seat next to you, the one with your bag on it, "is taken?" move your bag immediately! You are in imminent danger!
Be on the tube when a group of American teenagers get on and one very pretty girl says 'He called you, what was it? A 'Wanker? I wonder what it means? Trouble is after you get up off the floor , you have to explain. 🤣
British understatement, irony and sarcasm do not travel well. I was involved in designing an emergency radio system for the Dutch government. During a conversation with the Dutch representative, it was humorously suggested that as well as being used by the police, fire and ambulance services, the system might also find an application with the Dutch mountain rescue service. To which came the very serious reply "We have no mountains in Holland."
Interesting because I thought the Dutch themselves always call it the Netherlands and get quite irritated with people calling it Holland when referring to the entire country.
@@ryanmitcham5522 their choice of words not mine. It was the 1970s and the representatives may have been concerned with a region of the whole system. The radio system in question was deployed very successfully and operated for a number of years until replaced by a more modern digital alternative.
@@ryanmitcham5522Correct. We were politely but firmly told we were in the Kingdom of the Netherlands. Holland is a province.
In around 1985 I was giving one-to-one advanced-level English language instruction to a German executive at a language school in Frankfurt. I recall at one point saying, "That's not quite right." At this, his eyes lit up and he retorted, "Ah, the famous English understatement. What you mean is it was totally wrong." And he was right.
I had occasion to talk on the telephone to a French person and she asked me if I spoke French to which my reply was "je ne avec francais" meaning that no, I didn't have French. Of course this resulted in a torrent of French of which I understood not a word. I subsequently realised that the the word "pas" should have been inserted. This taught me that you cannot assume someone else knows what you are talking abut even if they seem to.
The example you gave at first with the window is funny to me. Having lived in the UK my whole life, I immediately understood it, but it also took me a few seconds to realise where your particular story was going. Then I went "Oooh."
I'm autistic and somewhat literally minded, I'd have gone and checked if was open, and left it as is.
I'm autistic, too, and same. When they looked at me like I was nuts for needing clarification, I would have corrected the grammar of their first question, showing how (in literal terms) checking if the window was open and closing the window are two *completely different* things.
"Im just popping out for lunch, does anybody want anything?" means, round our bit " I will get the first person who replies one thing and the rest of you know not to ask.
To add a little nuance to your "just when you get a minute" example, I think that it can mean slightly different things depending on context. If it's at work and your boss is saying it, then you're spot on. It means "do it now". But if you're asking a friend or neighbour for a favour then it's a polite way of not being overly demanding.
When I was at school in Oxfordshire we had weekly report cards which were then graded by the headmaster. The very worst grade was "FG" which meant "Fairly Good" - this was bad enough to be hauled in front of the headmaster. If you got two of these in a term, you would miss the end of term treat.
the more you study communication the more you are amazed that humans can communicate at all
Why do you think we have so many wars?!
@@hegedusuk A lot less to do with communication and more one group of people having something that another group of people think they want
@@hegedusuk greed
Big one I had to get used to when working with Americans is when I great people normally, in the UK, I say "you alright?" Or "how's it going?"
I was shocked yo find my American colleagues actually would give me an earnest answer and tell me how they were feeling.
Took me a bit to realise that they just genuinely thought I was asking 😅 and they weren't oversharing, I literally asked.
Obviously in the UK "you alrigh" or "how's it going?" "How's life keeping you?" "How do you do?"
All just mean "hello" and the response a brit will expect it something along the lines of "I'm good, thanks, you?"
Irregardless if you are actually ok.
And I'd follow up with a "yeah I'm good" or something similar.
If I am genuinely struggling and need to inform someone I'm not ok I would say "as good as can be expected"
This would then garner a response from a brit genuinely asking. "Is everything OK?" Or "Oh dear, what's happened?"
We are a funny lot
Brit living in Germany here: no matter how hard I try I can't shake the habit of greeting people by saying "y'alright?" or "how ya doing?" or something along these lines.
Had a lot of German baristas and shop workers look at me especially confused when I walk in and ask them "wie geht's?" before giving my order. Seems it doesn't exactly translate culturally 😅😅
Actually, there's a more extreme version recently arrived in Britain, of "y'a'righ" (it's always pronounced like this). It's when something has happened to you in public/you have asked for help/you look like you might become a burden to the person saying it, who is walking on. It means "I am not going to help you, now get outta my face". You hear it quite often now when everyone and everything is mistrusted.
I forgot to say, "y'a'righ" is not a question about your health: it's a second stage contraction of "Na, y'a'righ" which means a blank No, as in "I wouldn't touch it with a bargepole, go away"... (You hear this everywhere.)
"Can I get..." used when ordering something in a restaurant or asking for something in a shop always sounds really odd to me.
"May I have...", or, "I'd like...", make much more sense to me.
I think that means you're over 40 (please correct me if I'm wrong!)
It's a truly awful new expression. If I phone a company and they want to "take me through security", they might say "can I get your date of birth (e.g.)". I say "ok, I'll hold the line then while you look it up". Or someone goes up to a counter in shop and asks for something that's behind, do they expect to go around and get it for themselves?
@@oldpigsqueal3578 "Can I get..." used when ordering something in a restaurant is a legitimate use of the phrase as you, the person ordering, does not know if they have everything on the menu 'in stock' as they might have run out of some stuff.
Understand the point but guys ...please dont analyse language word by word....new phrases come in to express something in a holistic way ....this one just is meaning ( ...an order basically ) ....its fun to talk about but of we would need ( yes tedious hehe ) computational stats to know if " Can i get " ...is supplanting other ordering phrases in Britain ...it wouldnt be a surprise given ( eg ) how prevalent " guys " is in Britain and many other Americanisms ....provoking the old fashioned in Britain to auto - ridicule themselves backlash eg on spelling ....Two last things, one, " May i have ...." sounds over fussy today and two, many people would just say " Two cokes, please " :):)
Ha!! I was born a Brit, from Yorkshire Mum and dad were Ten Pound Poms, so I had my seventh birthday in Brisbane. Dad died of cancer, My mum was a Geordie raised in Yorkshire. When I grew up, I served in the military. , boy meets girl, I met and married a Brit. roll on thirty years I moved to The UK so my wife could reunite with her family. What a language cultural difference I faced. I still have to ask my whife, What did they say?. And I have been asked many times If I'm American, South African or Canadian. Go Figure
I'm from Yorkshire and if we say "that's not bad" we mean that it's a great idea.
In my Cornish family we have a phrase which sums this up. It is 'I heard what you said, but I knew what you meant!'
No, you were right about the window. I'm British and it wasn't clear what was wanted; security against burglars, or good ventilation against damp. It's not obvious.
However, 'That's interesting' usually translates to 'Have you lost your fucking mind?'.
"Hey, could you pop upstairs and make sure the window is shut please?"
@@mrmessy7334 Yep, my thoughts exactly!
To me there's a difference in wording depending if you want security or ventilation.
"Can you check if the window's open?" implies you want it shut.
"Can you check that the window's open?" implies you want it open.
@@zak3744 No, I agree that 'check that' implies you expect it to be open, so probably want it open, but 'check if' gives no clue as to what is wanted.
@@zak3744I agree, that's how I would talk and interpret too.
"I won't keep you" in the UK means "The conversation is over; it has gone on too long already: go away/I'm off".
Anyway, I'll let you get on
@@piggypiggypig1746 Or the ultimate 'Don't let me detain you'.
The one from the Movie ' A Bridge too Far '.........
"Was there anything else ? "
Being British, I prefer going to American or Canadian UA-cam videos for instructions on how to do something. I find you guys more clear and concise.
I think the most interesting thing with the difference between the two, using you're initial example, is that to the Brit, the statement was very clear, "Can you check if the window is open upstairs" comes with the understanding that it being open is a problem and would need to be closed and it isn't said to be vague or cryptic, but just more natural and conversational. However, if that phrase in that context hasn't been heard before then it's funny that the message would be lost. Thanks for spreading light on your experiences with that!
After watching a neighbour's kid give a rendition on the flute; "you must be so proud".
@@UrukEngineer As someone who has followed a local band for some years I've learned a way out of a tricky conversation when another artist asks what I thought of their (p*ss poor) set. I tell them it was "seminal".
I enjoy your videos, they’re really quite good!🤣🤣
I recently came off my motorbike on a parade lap at a public event. Some of the guys came over to get the bike off me (it weighs over 260kg) upon which I said "That stings a bit." I'd just broken my collar bone.
I work in an environment where talking in front of a crowd / presentations are a way of life so think of myself as some sort of authority on the subject.
YOU are an excellent presenter / story teller - think of this with any career moves you may make.
EXCELLENT- THANK YOU.
Fantastic analysis. I am a US expat living in the UK for 27 years. Watched this with my British partner, and we both resonated with and really loved it, thank you. 🙏
I was laughing my head off all the way through this. You really hit the nail on the head. Great video. ❤
I've never heard someone saying "I'm just going out for some food (or whatever) , does anybody want anything?" and not mean it. If they're going to the effort of asking, they asking if you want them to get something for you. And yes, I'm British, and have worked in many parts of the country, though I haven't done so for the past 20+ years.
I always mean it and I assume that my colleagues do, too.
If more items are asked for than one person can easily carry, one of us will offer to help.
Same with offering to make cups of tea/coffee.
@@miaschu8175 Yup. The last time I was working in the UK, if someone was making coffee and/or tea, they made it for EVERYONE.
Even workers who drank neither would do so. It's called being part of a team.
We also use Indirect communication to be polite and not order you about, even if you are a subordinate. Think about your examples and see if the person was just simply trying to avoid ‘telling you what to do’ e.g. ‘can you check if the window is open’ (because it needs to be closed before we can go) vs ‘Go upstairs, close the window and report back to me’.
“With respect…” Some of my favourite insults start with those two words.
See also: “I’m not being funny but…” which is English for “It most definitely isn’t funny. This annoys me greatly”
So widespread is it’s use, that often the sentence doesn’t even need completing, you both know what’s coming. Could be anything from ‘Wow did he actually look in a mirror before he left home. Look at the state of that’ to ‘How f**king long is this queue?’ And a million other, unsaid but obvious things in between.
Your channel is great, sad that you get nothing for reaction videos of your videos, but that’s how I found you.
Oh well, I’m here now. Keep doing what you’re doing.
A Brit 🇬🇧
@@tdurb0 I’m not being funny, but….= I’m about to be funny with you. ( not funny haha, funny, funny.)
@@lauraharwood6581 NW England, this phrase translates to, "I'm definitely going to slag this person off" 😂
These are so true. Love the work you’re putting into your channel. Thanks.
Brit here, I was told to never ‘recommend’ something to the Dutch as they would imagine it was optional, whereas for us it meant it was a polite instruction. Your high/ low context explanation makes sense.
I was about to be quintessentially British just now and say that I often say "that's not half bad" when I actually mean "that's actually pretty decent" when I realised that "pretty decent" is an understatement in itself. I basically mean it's pretty good but I find it SO hard to directly say that lol (damn I didn't realise how ingrained in us it is to understate literally everything!)
- another phrase I say a lot is "that was a tad harsh" meaning "that was actually quite rude/mean/harsh"
Only ‘quite’ rude…not very rude then?😂 in the US ‘quite’ means very. Saying actually is another context phrase too…it means ‘to be literal’ which assumes that without ‘actually’ there is still some leeway.
@@contessa.adellaah this hurts my head lol.
For me "quite rude" means somewhere between very rude and a bit rude. So not extremely rude but more than just slightly rude - enough to be a bit taken aback by it but not overly shocked/upset/offended by it. Whereas, "a tad" means "just a small amount".
Does that even make sense? 😂
Funnily enough, if I thought something was very rude, I'd most likely say "wow, that was quite rude"
So to be fair to us Brits - with the window thing. The clue is that no-one is going to ask you to check something and not perform some action if the thing we have asked you to check is obviously not in the state it should be in. For example if someone says "can you check I turned the heating off" or "can you check I turned the cooker off" - it's very much implied that if the object we want you to check is not in the state we wish it to be in, then you should rectify that upon confirmation. No-one will ever ask you to check if the window is open - and expect just an answer of yes it is or no it wasn't.
we would be non-leading if we were asking the literal - "is the window open or closed at the moment?"
as someone who lives in the UK but needs to be told things directly, i'm kinda jealous of America now
you are welcome to come over to the dark side. :) long live saying exactly what we mean!
I believe there's help for this now.
Free healthcare or a more direct society... 🤔
@@badger1296 You are presenting that in such a way as to suggest that bring direct is good. Remember, Germans are direct.
@@davidmorgan6896
As an American, my ethnicity is made up of most parts of the British Isles, France, and Germany (and probably other places, too). What I've seen of Germanic peoples (and myself being on the spectrum), I have appreciated their directness.
So true! I'll never forget the first time a higher up wanted a "quick word" with me 😁