I'm an American who's never been to Britain, but I can honestly say that NOT saying please or excuse me, or the like, to me is being incredibly rude. I have worked in retail, and a customer who used the pleasantries would get a much better response from me than one who just flat out asked the question.
In Britain we are taught as a child to always say excuse me, please, thank you, etc. It sounds like Americans don’t have such strong default lessons all children are taught.
Many Brits in supermarkets will ask in the American way for something. Working in the NHS it is certainly a regular occurrence and all of these polite mannerisms go out out of the window. As a nation we are less polite than we used to be and often see staff as fair game. At one point zero tolerance posters regarding aggression or rudeness to staff were almost unheard of. Now they are everywhere.
@@philipdouglas5911social media has seriously dismantled the principle of constantly using manners and younger parents have become so lazy when teaching any to a child. I can remember a time when “oh my God” was stated equivalent to a lead swear word although the UK has become much more Atheist so makes sense why for such a term but swearing is so much more common. American movies, social media they developed, etc encourage the serious decline by around 70% to what it once was.
I agree. I am American, and not saying please, thank you, and excuse me is DEFINTELY rude. I was taught to be polite while I was still learning to walk. I also do not shove people aside or jump the queue/line. Nor do the people I know. I ask when I don't know the rules or ettiquette of an unfamiliar situation. I do not just barge in. I don't know what kind of people Girl Gone London was around when she lived in the US, but most of what she described as typical American behavior I consider very rude. This list was strange to me, although I certainly agree with the British people who find the behavior described to be rude!
I came here to say the same thing. In the U.S. we line up. We’re famous for it. ( Yes, there are the shopping days when customers go crazy.) We say hi and thank you to retail workers. Of course we ask if we may sit in another airline seat.
My mom/dad, and sister were the only ones who got a tour of my house. Friends were escorted down the hall for the bathroom. I live in the US but would never show my house to non family members. Sometimes not even family. That's just creepy.
Yes,to be honest if this lady has lived here more than ten years she should have worked out that we couldn't give a tuppeny damn about what the American way of doing things are.After all we tried Amway and that was quite enough. And if you don't get it you don't understand British Humour. I see there was no mention of that !!
I live in Japan, and it's considered offensive to tip! It's awesome. No tip required. No worries. Never have to think about it. It should be the same everywhere.
Yeah I'm an American who visited Japan on business. I had heard this "it's rude to tip in Japan" thing so I didn't. I got the same dirty look as would get in the US. If it's known that your custom IS to tip and you don't, you get "the look". But having said that, customer service in Asia (Japan, Hong Kong, Singapore, Taiwan) is the BEST!
Really! That is awesome. I also learned that the Japanese take off their shoes before going into someone's house. That is so nice. But you have to remember to wear decent socks with no holes. You have to prepare ahead. What about gifts? Should an American take a "gift" when invited to their home in Japan? What kind of gift is acceptable? I'd really like to go to Japan, but I don't want to be rude to anyone. What do you do in Japan if they serve raw fish, and I really don't want to eat raw fish. How do I politely decline their offer?
I was fortunate to be able to visit Sendai - Shiogama - Ishinomaki in the 90s and I loved it. One time I had left a Pichinko casino and somehow had left a bit of money behind. A casino employee came running down the street about 100 yards to return my money to me. Also, there was so little worry of underage Japanese buying beer, it was sold in vending machines.
American restaurants should pay a living wage to their staff instead of expecting the customer to pay it. Tipping culture has gotten out of hand in the USA.
Fun fact, the waiters unions fought to keep tipping culture because they make more money by guilt tripping than they would with a fixed hourly wage. That's why it won't ever change; they want it the way it is now.
I couldn't agree more with this statement. I've worked in restaurants. I don't know how people can budget or live comfortably on tips. When the economy's bad, they get less tips. If servers and restaurant staff were paid a living wage, when they're working they're getting paid. Now with trump saying tips aren't going to be taxed, I guess working a tip job is going to be better. Frankly, if I have to pay tax on my income, I don't think it's right that someone else doesn't. Last note, when Covid hit, it was glaringly obvious how devastating to those who worked for tips. If they had been earning a living wage and paid full unemployment, they would have had something coming in...
It will never happen because then restaurant owners need to increase prices and will charge $15 bucks for a cup of coffee like in Switzerland. Americans like cheap food and massive quantities of it.
I don’t recall being explicitly taught to place my utensils on my plate to signal that I was done eating, but that’s what my mom did so I followed her lead.
I’m American and was taught two ways to position my utensils to signal whether I am ‘resting’ or ‘finished eating’. My only challenge is finding wait-staff who recognize the silent signal and interrupt the conversation by saying ‘are you finished’ or ‘may I take your plate’? Drives me crazy!
I am an American, so maybe it's because I'm from an older generation (I'm 75 years old) but I would also consider most of the behaviors you mentioned to be rude. For example, I live in a big city, but in our grocery stores, we will always give the other person "first dibs" on an item; we will make way for them and their cart while apologizing for being in their way (even if we aren't), and if they have fewer items in their cart than we have, we will offer to let them go through checkout before us - and they usually graciously accept. Everyone I know always precedes a request for information with at least "Excuse me" and ends with a "Thanks!" At restaurants, we have to ask for the bill - I can't remember a time when the bill was presented without being requested. The one thing I can agree on is American loudness - I have lived overseas in several places and had had to learn to lower my voice and not even speak at all in certain places (like on the bus in Finland).
I could not agree more, and I'm also a baby boomer. Most of the things mentioned here I was taught to do (knife/fork together on plate when done; "Excuse me, please, I'm sorry..."; being quiet in public settings, etc.). I am still flabbergasted when entering a restroom and people are talking on their cell phones in the stalls, and then flush the toilet while still talking!! Now THAT is beyond rude!! But long before the word "entitled" was mentioned in the podcast, it was racing through my head as the cause of many of the behaviors mentioned. Putting others first goes a long way in creating the civilization we all like to live in.
I’m 51 and American and all these things I consider rude also. My parents raised me well. That’s the problem these days, parents aren’t doing a good job.
Likewise, although I'm younger than you (in my fifties). I also wondered as I was listening if these behaviors are more prevalent in younger Americans.
As a Brit, I was taught from and early age to put the knife and fork together when you had finished eating - also never ever, ever, put the knife in your mouth.
@@user-nu6wm8tx1y no knife in your mouth started as a safety measure, before forks the knife was used to put food in your mouth, but they weren't cutlery, they were more double edged daggers
I came over here to Australia as a teenager and was hired as a waitress in a small cafe. I was shocked to see people with their elbows on the table, talking with their mouth full, and not putting their knife and fork together after eating, some would even smoke after a meal and stub their cigarette out on the plate!!
as an englishman married to an american, i have to admit the cultural differences made our relationship very hard at the beginning. but i have always lived by the motto of manners maketh the man.
Hi Tayler! And, I might add, a lady! Manners in the US can scarcely be found. At one time we were taught at home and school good manners, but that has slid into an abyss never to be seen again, I'm afraid. Younger people would be so much happier if they were taught to be polite (kinder) to one another and manners in general.
I'm in the UK and can't stand a child with no manners 🙄 That is not their fault, it shows how they weren't taught. I brought our two children up with my husband to always be polite and they picked it up straightway. It is something that teachers and other parents notice and I'm hoping they will do well in the workplace!
Same with me and my husband, I’m Italian and he’s British - 24 years later and there are still differences but mainly in how we parent; just have to learn to compromise!
It awful eating out in the USA. It’s just a task there, to feed yourself, you’re expected to leave as soon as you’re done. We stopped eating out there as it’s just not an enjoyable experience at all
@@amybagnall6097like you, I can only go by my own experience. You haven’t lived everywhere and I haven’t travelled everywhere. In my experience, in the states I’ve been to, this is what happens every time. They don’t bring the bill with the food, but as soon as you put your knife and fork down they bring it. They don’t wait for you to ask for it. You are subtlety expected to eat and leave. There is no this table is yours for the night. It’s is a time allocation, they want you in and out for tips. Please, I’d love to know that this isn’t the case somewhere there, and that you can spend the night at the table, as you do in other countries. Can you recommend where we could go to get the enjoyable night out experience in a restaurant, booking the table for 20:00 and remaining until 23:00-24:00?
omg eating in america... the constant asking are you ok, is the food ok , is the service ok, ..... so fecking annoying! its not real interest its begging!... someone to take the order, deliver the food, give the bill.... im happy!
Same for me and everyone I know here in New Zealand; going to a restaurant is an occasion. If we just want to eat, we cook at home or buy takeaways; we don't even go to restaurants when we're away from home - not *_real_* restaurants, anyway. MacDonald's and Burger King may *_call_* themselves restaurants, but they aren't, they're just "fast-food joints" with a place to sit and eat, and there may well be tables at a fish 'n' chip shop where you can eat if you're on the road (or you eat in your car or at a nearby park) but actual *_proper_* restaurants, we only go to them if it's someone's birthday or an end-of-year work lunch or some other occasion. And we sure as hell aren't wanting to be rushed out the door.
I don't know where you're eating in the US, but in decades as a server, I NEVER gave a customer his or her check when I took their food. We also know to place our eating utensils so a server knows we are done, and we would never think of not saying please and thank you.
I was born and raised in the U.S, am now Canadian after many years of marriage and have lived in four countries for significant periods. I found a helpful and useful thing to remember is to try and watch how the people of other countries you visit, or live in, act in their normal day with others, and take your queue from them. Every culture is different, for their unique and respectful reasons, and I have always found others very respectful if you are likewise.
@@eydiefalkenhagen4434 thank you. I often do my replies late at night, and I made a mistake, but thank you for pointing it out. I believe people should use our language properly.., before AI rids us of of our past!🫠❤
As a U.K. person who worked in many many pubs, we were told to never take plates away until everyone at the table has finished. Otherwise it makes those who are still eating feel rushed if waiting staff start taking plates away. But annoyingly this has crept in in other EU countries because American tourists.
American living in the UK here. I worked in many restaurants in the US. I would never clear a plate from a table before everyone finished unless asked to do so, which does happen. However I think you see it in more casual establishments rather than fine dining Edit to add: a good waitperson would also never put the bill on the table after serving the meal, I’d sell you something nice for dessert. You’d never see it done in a nice restaurant.
Americans used to know to put their knife and fork together on their plate to indicate they were finished with their meal. This confirms my suspicion that sometime in the last 30 years, American parents stopped trying to teach their children table manners.
Miss Gael, you just nailed it. What was once what everyone did is now seldom done, to the detriment of society. Good manners are essential to civilization!
Most of what she says has to be for British clicks because most of it is ridiculous. I've lived in 6 different US states my whole life & lived a summer in the UK & 90% of the things she claims aren't true
I think that's the point of the video though. What is 'good manners' in one is not necessarily 'good manners' in another. One thing I've noticed about the shouting though is that it's generational. We weren't 'quiet as mice' when we were younger either but we didn't shout. I've noticed now they keep their headphones in then shout at each other LOL.
@@katmurphy6634 It certainly seems that way. Just look at the way they handle voice calls... They always have it on speaker phone and hold the end of the phone to their ear 🤦♂️😆
Yes, I'm thinking it may be a generational or regional thing. I would never just take another empty seat on a plane. I would definitely ask the flight attendant if it would be okay to move. I don't give tours of my house, although I love seeing other people's, and may ask if I can. I'm okay with "no." Who talks about religion with anyone you don't actually know, or, really anyone except at church? I really wonder where she grew up in the states.
About Americans being loud: last week I was travelling by train from where I live to Barcelona. The train was fairly crowded, not packed, but certainly lots of people. I would not say Spaniards are a quiet lot by any means, but the only voices that could be heard on the train were those of 4 American guys wowing and marvelling at our public transportation system.
I'm visiting the UK right now. Let me tell you...there are LOUD Brits in pubs. Usually the younger folks. Not saying anything wrong with it, just noticeable
@@suedworshak5333 - To be fair to us here, Sue - usually the only places where we could vent our complaints, stresses, and frustrations of the day itself, or week freely out aloud after a few drinks, were in pubs, or at home. Even at football matches, etc - while Nightclubs were possible, too, simply because no one could hear you over the blasting music . . . lol . . .
I don't think this supposed prohibition on UK house tours is that common, even in the buttoned-up south. When first time visitors express interest in the layout of our not particularly remarkable bungalow, we do offer them a tour, and some even ask for one. Unless the "closed up" rooms are in a truly disgusting condition, we're generally fine with this. Interior design, efficient use of space, "flow", "character", development potential,visit furnishibg, colour etc are all very interesting to Brits - witness the multiple "property porn" magazines and TV shows - and is a staple topic of conversation with home visitors, along with tips about builders, suppliers etc.
Yes came here to say the same thing. If you've just moved in all your friends will want a tour the first time they visit your new home. However if I made a new friend and was invited to their house for the first time I wouldn't dream of asking for a tour.
When I worked in the restaurant business here in the US, the reason we used to drop off the bill right away was to not keep the customer waiting if they were in a hurry or simply were ready to leave at a time when we were with another table.
American here. It’s not acceptable for people not to say please and thank you in the US. That’s just not having been raised with manners and it IS considered rude here.
@nl212ep I agree! I think it's terribly rude to not ask with please and then say thank you when someone does something for you, even if it's their job to do it.
@@trevormillar1576 Oh now, there's a man whose opinions can be trusted .......Karl Marx . Actually Wilde said it. My first sentence was an example of irony ,btw.
I'm British and worked in Minnesota for a year or so. One of the first questions I was asked, when meeting someone for the first time, was, "What Church do you belong to?". My answer of, "I don't belong to any Church," typically resulted in a "Does not compute" expression, and silence, before they politely moved to talk with a fellow God-Botherer. Also .... That sticky-out bit, on a Baseball Cap, is called a "Peak" and it goes at the front (especially if you are older than 12).
I'm british and a word of warning to americans is to never do the peace sign with the nails at the front. It's considered just as offensive as the middle finger in the UK, Ireland, Australia and New Zealand
I wonder when the meaning changed? Easy to find photos of Winston Churchill flashing it either direction. Was told it meant "V for Victory." Any thoughts?
Yeah, alot of Americans don't like Ben believe that two fingers in other countries means the same as the middle finger in the US, they just find it too amusing to believe. When I was in Scotland, someone did give me the middle finger; was told that the middle finger has become common in Britain.
The two finger sign has an interesting history. In battles, if an English archer was captured, the enemy ( usually the French) would cut off the two fingers, so the archer could not fire anymore arrows. When English Archers faced an enemy before battle, they would stick up their two fingers in defiance, to say " I'm still an Archer!! Watch out ". Sticking two fingers up became an act of insulting defiance, more or less saying: " Up yours, mate! Get lost!" It's now considered a rude, offensive gesture.
Where in the U.S are you from?? I am 70 years old and have lived in the southeast United States all of my life. None of what you describe is anything like the U. S. I live in. I have never given a guest a tour of my house and have never been offered one. Waiters rarely bring a check to my table before I have asked or it. As a child I was always taught to be careful to use my "in-door voice" when appropriate. I would never ask a question of a stranger without first saying "excuse me" and using "please" and "thank you." People where I live don't cut lines. It is true that people here may ask friends where they go to church, but we don't discuss religion or politics in social settings. Most everything that you say the British find rude would also be considered rude in my part of the U. S.
Thanks for that. I don't know if Georgia and South Carolina are considered southeast USA, but people I know from there are all louder than Europeans. Maybe you're quiet by American standards but still loud by European standards?
@@gordon1545 I’m from South Carolina and have been to Europe and never had any issues. I guess we were just “brought up” that way. I agree with you- please and thank you , don’t discuss money, politics or religion outside of family. The only thing I did that was commented on was how I used Sir or Ma’am but then I’m a military brat 😂🎉
The wearing a hat when eating indoors is considered rude in the UK . It is the classic tell for an American. Also wearing a hat indoors. Why wear a hat indoors. A hat is outer wear.
photoisca7386 is right that the invisible queue is dying out in Britain- particularly for city bus queues - but it's still a strong tradition where it matters. I live in a busy town with an over-subscribed Citizens Advice Bureau (free advice), where people would queue up for an hour or two before it opens. Because there is no seating at the door, they seat themselves around the small garden courtyard in front. When the office opened, I watched everyone silently line up in the order in which they arrived....you just know to take a mental snapshot when you do.
As a brit who lives in the US, my experience is that the server will come by when you are finished and ask whether you want anything else. If you say no, the bill appears within seconds.
I'm Danish but many of our customs are much like the British. My pet peeve in USA is that the servers want you out of a restaurant as fast as possible. I understand the reason but find it annoying anyway. If I go out for dinner with friends in Denmark, it's normal that the meal including coffee, drinks etc. last 3-4 hours.
@@WoozyPolarBear Not really. It can take an hour for your food to arrive, one hour to eat it and the last hour is dessert and drinks. Pretty normal really :)
I would like to add, in Canada, we hold the door for people entering businesses. The people walking through say, "Thank you!" I once held the door open for people in the U.S. and they walked through without so much as a backward glance. My immediate thought wasm "How ruuuuude!"
I think a common response in the UK to not being thanked for holding a door open is a very audible, 'You're welcome!', said in a tone which conveys utter contempt and which heaps public opprobrium on the head of the offender.
@@robinholland1136 Yes I do that too ! and also when I stop to let someone cross the road and they don't acknowledge with a wave or a nod of the head, i wind the window down and shout 'you're welcome' ! they look so surprised, I guess you have to blame the parents for not teaching them good manners.
You must have been in the northern US. Southerners usually have way better manners. I'm female but my parents taught me to hold a door open for anyone, male or female. I can't imagine not thanking someone who did it for me. 😱
If you want to be really polite, say "May I have.."..not "Can I have." Never forget asking, " May I have .." in a restaurant in Rome. The waiter stopped and thanked me, saying that it was so lovely to hear. My partner and I had a lovely attentive waiter as a result. Politeness matters.
@@AndreiTupolevI would be digging my own grave very shortly afterward if I dared to say “Can I get…” in earshot of my Mum (and I’m an adult!) It was drilled into me as a child that you say “Excuse me, please may I have…?” and upon receiving either an answer or the item “Thank you very much!” When I went to somebody’s house, even if they just invited me in for two minutes (say to wait for a friend to get ready to go out with me when I was a teen), I would say “Thank you for having me!” before I left. It’s just polite to thank them for letting me into their space!
Personally, splitting hairs on intricacies of pointless linguistic tradition is pointless and deliberately awkward. It means the same thing and the attitude begins to reek of classism.
@@mattparkin7224 May I ask how is it classist? To me it just depends on what you consider to be polite! I am firmly working class from a tiny rural “pit village”, yet I was always taught, both at home and at school, that it was polite to request things with “Please may I have…”. “Can I get” just sounds really wrong to my ears. If someone said it to me I would be slightly taken aback but would still give them what they were asking for. I would however think they were a little rude, or maybe a little forward, as it just sounds a bit demanding. Like the answer is already assumed to be yes rather than being a genuine request that can be answered yes or no. I don’t know how else to explain it, it’s just not what I’m used to!
My brothers and I travelled UK to the BiG Apple for a weekend. While there we were celebrating one of my brother's significant birthday. I booked a restaurant and specifically negotiated with the manager that we wanted a "British Dining experience" He looked nonplussed, so I explained that in the UK we effectively rent there table as if it's in our own dining room. By all means check things are. ok, take and fulfil orders, but if they played the game we would reflect the hospitality shown. Come the dinner we stayed at the table for about 4 and half hours. We were a party of 6 (Dad was there too) and we had a brilliant time. The resultant bill was just short of eye-watering but the tip was certainly of a size that the waiter confirmed was bigger than they would typically earn during a shift. I returned to NYC a couple of months later and I noticed that for one night a month the restaurant was running "British Dining Experiences" on a Thursday night needed to be for a 6 seat minimum but service would be as required (no pushing to turn). It was regularly selling out
As an American, i have never had anyone ask me where I went to church. I would think it rude. My mother told me, long ago, to never discuss religion or politics if you want to keep friendly relationships. I have heard that from others, as well.
I’m an American and I can’t stand how loud people talk. In public places, I’ve heard some pretty disgusting cell phone conversations about extremely personal topics delivered in a loud voice in places like restaurants and coffee shops. I’ve always been bothered by this aspect of our culture.
I’m American and I don’t think Americans are all that loud. I think people who think Americans are all that loud have limited exposure. I have been to some Latin American and Caribbean countries (and lived in one) where I initially would think people were arguing when oftentimes they were just talking because they were so loud. Once I realized this I joined in the rambunctious fun. TBH I don’t particularly like being around super quiet people because they are usually uptight. I prefer traveling to Latin American/Caribbean countries over European ones. I find the people more fun and more relatable.
I’m American and I agree with you, if I’m in a restaurant and I’m talking quietly with my friend or I am alone reading in the restaurant, I don’t want to hear the next table talk on their cell phone or to the person next to them about their medical problems, for example. This is often so loud I can hear every word
Agreed. I had to be coached out of getting loud, somewhat. I'm much more aware of it now, as long as I maintain a courteous pace in conversation. Thanks! Good call.
A friend of mine with new American neighbours was asked if she could recommend a pastor. Being unfamiliar withe the word, she heard it as pasta. Very difficult conversation followed......
The private space thing is evident in British homes. Their front garden is often uninteresting, and access to their back garden is invariably accessed only through a gate. The back garden is where there are shrubs and flowers as well as patios with outdoor seating, and it's usually surrounded by a high fence. Having a back garden that is "not overlooked" is valued. It's definitely a private space. Also, notably in older homes, the front "reception room" may have no doorway to any other room. There is often a toilet near the front door so guests need not venture into any other part of the house.
Yes it's highly valued to have a non overlooked back garden. I had an American neighbour once and he would just stand leaning on the fence looking right into our garden, he felt comfortable doing it, we thought it was weird.
@@Bobrogers99 we’re a small country with a big population. Our houses are the smallest in Europe, every bit of private space is of great value particularly if you’re lucky enough to have any outdoor space.
@7:54 In the example of shopping, and asking for assistance, in the UK, we would also use 'could' instead of 'can', as 'can' is an instruction, demanding and abrupt.
On the restaurant/eating thing, another difference is the teeminology. In the uk the instruments you use to eat your food with are called cutlery, utensils generally means things used for cooking such as fish slice, whisk etc.
Or I have heard people from the US call cutlery Silverware, which to me sounds like a display of say trophies, trays, christening/wedding ornaments or a fancy canteen of cutlery from a case. The way they use a knife or mainly using just a fork can be seen as rude, especially at a restaurant, where there may be several courses and the cutlery is set out in a particular way.
We say cutlery in the U.S. too. Although some say utensils or silverware (or plasticware for disposable cutlery, but kind of as a joke sometimes). I say cutlery.
@@HuntingViolets Arrrrgghh _Disposable plastic cutlery !_ You've reminded me of the shock I kept having on a trip to New York this summer. Time and again in 'restaurants' there'd be these things ~ and paper plates & cups too ~ which I last saw at a child's fifth birthday party. I'd forgotten that they existed and yet they are rife there. Catch up with the rest of the world's recycling habits USA! I was so flummoxed that by day three of the same, I questioned a waiter. She mistook my dismay for delight and trumpeted how much hot water energy it saved not having to wash them up and just toss them in the garbage can. Heaven help us!!
Yet when I arranged a 8 course dinner (at a restaurant) with 4 British couples, not one of them knew where to start with the cutlery or glasses (full table setting) & and my wife & I had to show them the ropes.. Brits seem to have an overinflated idea of how classy they are.
Actually, placing your fork and knife in the center of your plate as shown here, is the correct way to indicate that you are finished with the meal. It is a signal that the server may remove them from the table.
And as shown, the knife and fork should be placed in the 4 O'clock position. If you're still in the middle of your meal and need to leave the table for a moment (to be excused) you place your knife and fork with the tips crossed over, for example just like crossing your legs at the ankle. This signals that you're not yet done with your meal. There's a further signal using the placement of your napkin.
"It's none of your business". This statement is routinely used in the US, often without ill-will, but here in the UK it's a definite declaration of hostility, it's only ever said aggressively, indignantly or with extreme coldness, and only ever reacted to with any of those 3.
@@pamela_fay That's not basically saying the same thing. That's basically conveying the same meaning for what in the US is the same effect, but the effect HERE of "None of..." is almost a miniature declaration of war. As I remember, the older generations used "Mind your own business" which was also hostile but far more mild, it had the effect of, "Hey I want to stay friends/allies, but I'm not discussing that, ok?" . With "None of...", across all current generations, you make it VERY clear the inquirer is generally an unwanted presence.
I'm a senior citizen and I would consider the things you described as rude, as well. Sometime in the last thirty years, parents stopped teaching their children acceptable manners.
I live in Germany. We’re direct too. However, being rude is being lacking in respect for others and showing arrogance towards others. You are not more important than anyone else. Be polite and respectful towards others. I don’t want to hear your conversation, I obviously ask with a “please” and say “thank you” afterwards.
loud girl on the bus trying to pay for something on her phone, i realised this and took notes of her name address debit card and ccv # she finished i got out my phone and at same volume said "HELLO, I SAW YOUR ADVERT ON EBAY DO YOU STILL HAVE THE ELEPHANT FOR SALE? OK GREAT CAN YOU DELIVER IT TO GAVE HER ADDRESS AND CARD DETAILS THEN SAID £500 FOR EXPRESS DELIVERY" the bus was laughing their heads off
Mate, please don’t plead the “direct” argument when really many Germans are quite arrogant and disrespectful to others. It’s Germans expecting to force their culture on others. As an Australian with a German background, I have zero patience with typical rude German “behaviour”. Grüße aus Australien. Tschüss.
@@philiprice7875 Well you taught her a lesson that was for her own good. Some people are daft when it comes to phone conversations and their private details!
Was on a bus in Germany about 10 years back talking to my Dad back in the UK, had the whole lower bus to myself, suddenly Hannelore and Klaus walk on with their two little brats, and get into my face about "Hey, lower your voice" and "I've paid for my ticket too". I told them to mind their own damn business, I was a visiting professional spending money in their nation when they couldn't get enough skilled Germans to do the job. Had another German who caused a stink with the other train passengers and wouldn't remove his fruit basket from a seat. He knocked it into my thigh, I knocked the contents onto the floor. You people have a hard time dealing with others on public transport, for an otherwise very civilised people.
Walking up to someone in a supermarket and just asking 'where's the flour?' would be regarded as rather rude, perhaps aggressive here in the UK. I always start with 'Oh sorry to bother you, but...' to soften the approach. I do it on the phone too: 'Sorry to bother you but I'm wondering if my car is ready yet...'. I was at a London tube station once (Bakerloo line) and a rather loudly spoken American said 'gee I guess the Brits need some spelling lessons, that says BACKERLOO!'. It wound me up so much I wanted to punch his lights out, but that would've been rude...
06:59 The rudness of not saying "Excuse me, where are the X, please ?" etc. seems to be more of an inner-city norm; in my experience. Otherwise, there's always a "Please/Thanks".
The fact most Americans I have met seem to never appreciate people that work to provide services to them has really annoyed me a few times. Here in Britain it is considered quite normal to thank the bus driver or the checkout person or the ticket sellers etc etc etc. my SO is American and it took a while for them to learn just general manners.
probably relates back to slavery or something (just a guess). In Australia, it's seen as being arrogant/thinking of yourself as being above others to not show respect for those sorts of people & add tradies to that list too & people here all see it as a way of showing they are decent people, by treating serving type people well
@@davequinn3093not weird, just not required or expected. I get plenty of tips I just don’t rely on them for my livelihood, they’re a lovely compliment from someone who appreciated my service though! Manners, however, cannot be bought.
@@davequinn3093 you don't though do you! You tip for their survival, which is a totally different thing. We tip if someone actually deserves it, making the tip far more special than if it's built into the payments & required. We also pay living wages, which imo is a much stronger sign of appreciation than blackmailing a person into enduring whatever abuse a customer wants to throw at them. Additionally, to me it's actually pretty messed up to suggest that only the rich have the ability to show appreciation, or the richer you are, the more appreciation you can show, that's why it's so important to us to have non-financial ways to show appreciation. Volunteering is a big thing here, cause that means supporting the person's community at a pro-rata rate, making everyone equal. Ie, a CEO who makes $10,000 per hour & a minimum wage worker who only earns $30 per hour are both contributing the same percentage of their income if they give up an hour of work to volunteer, aren't they
I live in the Netherlands and the door where the bus driver sits is entry only, so we'd need to shout to thank them, so we don't do that. I do invariably say hello to the driver when I board though. I also greet and thank people at the cash register and use the polite form of address, unless I'm a regular customer.
8:08 As a German I had to giggle a little hearing about the "American style of direct communication". But, yes, compared to the Brits it might be a little more direct. Btw, even Germans manage to say "Excuse me" and "Please" when talking to service staff (at least that's my experience).
The reason you don’t move your seat on the plane without asking is because if there were , heaven forbid, an air crash they could determine who the person was by their seat number
Another reason not to change seats before takeoff is that affects the "Weight & Balance" that's been calculated (OK, not the weight!) which affects how the aircraft handles on takeoff. I've heard the crew announce that as there are a lot of empty seats, passengers may change seats once airborne and the seat-belts signs are off, but not before then.
On my many travels in the US, the number of times in a cafe a customer has addressed the person behind the counter with the words 'fix me!' to get an order. No 'please', no 'could you', just straight out demand. That appears so rude to us.
Thank you for your comment, good to hear your point of view. 'Being polite costs nothing' - something drilled into us as kids. Kind regards. @@kathleendavis5727
It can seem rude so it’s better to be a bit more explicitly polite such as by phrasing it as a request, but it’s not seen by the speaker as making a demand, but as relaying your order efficiently. The staff are there to perform a service, both parties know this, there’s no need for the customers to make a long elaborate ritual out of the answer when they ask what you want.
Never EVER ask 'how much money do ya make' or 'how much money do you have'. It is the height of bad manners. The only people ever allowed to ask those questions are, respectively, your bank manager or the person holding you up with a knife at a cash-point.
I've read Jane Austen, they talk about how much Mr. Darcy is worth, how much Mr. Bingley is worth, how much Mr. Rushworth is worth, how much Georgiana Darcy is worth, how much Anne de Bourgh is worth, et cetera, et cetera. Don't tell me that that's solely an American thing.
In the uk it’s usually when you’ve just moved house that you show visitors round. Also we don’t always meet outside - we love having dinner parties at home!!🎉🎉
I was on a train in the US and two girls behind me were talking so loudly I actually turned round and told them to turn down the volume. And in a diner I was shocked that people don't say please and thank you when ordering! Incredibly rude.
My wife and I were in a roof-top restaurant in Nice. The restaurant was long and thin, to give everyone a good view of the sea, and we were at one end. We, and people from all over the world throughout the restaurant, couldn't hear our own conversations because there were two tables of Americans in the place. They were at the far end from us (which was good), but had been placed next to each other (which was bad). So each table just increased and increased their own volume so as to be able to hear over their neighbours, so nobody else could hear at all. Quite incredibly selfish and rude. But very American.
@@kgbgb3663Canadians are similar. I think North Americans are deaf. It must be the incessant noise from Harley Davidsons and loud exhausts. Oooh look at me!
They don’t even ASK when ordering! It’s all, “I’ll get the…” It’s horrible. (A) No, you’re not getting it, the server is, and (B) Ask nicely! Horrible.
The pleasing is very Britishe, the rest of differenses also apply for many other European countries, like Norway. My daugter studied to her Bachelor degree in England, and when my husband and I wisited her, we were instructed by her to always say please. We adapted very fast.
I live in the USA, born In the Uk. There isn’t a day that goes by that I dont think, “ gosh these people are so loud” or man, “ they’re so rude”. My pet peeve is when the server takes your plate as soon as you’re finished instead of waiting for the other diners to finish. They ask you if you’re done “working” on your meal, to which I reply, yes I’ve finished eating thank you. I find them generally so blunt, with little finesse or polish, especially your average male. They don’t know how to dress and love to carry around these enormous mugs of soda. On the plus side. They’re extremely positive, upbeat, fun, friendly and they get shit done.
I was all ready to be upset with you... but then that ending... You saved it. We both have to learn to accept that social norms are different in different regions. You really have no right to think me rude UNLESS I have come to your British town and broken some British tradition or etiquette. If I am just an American in America being American, then it's NOT RUDE!!! Its the norm. But calling it rude is very rude! So there! LOL Your comments are a cold cup of water in the face because I am a huge fan of British TV, I could name 15 favorite shows right now, and I have always assumed that I would enjoy the company of Brits and that they would enjoy my company as well. But maybe not. I spent half of yesterday lamenting the loss of Maggie Smith - truly a world wide treasure. So yeah... its very uncomfortable hearing an objective unfiltered opinion. Regarding your pet peeve about servers, you just have to accept a lot of that is not their choice but is in fact the policy of the management of the restaurant chain. And the best way to address it is with your patronage. If you don't like how the servers behave at a given restaurant or chain, don't go back. Honestly, very little is in their control.
Sorry to contradict, but Americans DO put their utensils in the same or similar position to signal they are done. I don't know anyone who does not do this. :)
Also if you put the fork behind one ear, and balance the knife between your top lip and nose… this indicates to the waiter that you are completely insane
Yes, and she missed that two bread sticks up the nostrils indicates to serving staff you're ready for the next course. Also, you generally indicate you're ready to pay by writing "Bill Please" on your wife's forehead with a felt tip, though I have had that misunderstood and the waiter brought us a duck (it would possibly be a platypus in Australia)..
Elsewhere, I saw a video by an American who had visited Europe, and spent a week with a group of people from various countries, including Britain. He said it suddenly hit him at the end of the week that he had no idea what any of them did for a living, what kind of house they lived in, how much money they made, what their educational qualifications were - they'd talked about all sorts of different subjects, but never even *mentioned* anything like that, which he said would be regarded as normal to talk about where he lived! He didn't know whether they didn't think stuff like that to be important, or whether they felt such details about their life were 'none of anyone else's business' - but, he said, even looking back on it some time later, he still found it astonishing. Re. religion; I can think of one family I'd known for over 30 years, and they'd mentioned that the mother "sang in the church choir" - but I didn't know which church they belonged to until I went to the father's funeral. I can well believe an American would ask "Why didn't they ever *tell* you which church they belonged to?" - to which my answer would be "Why should they? That's none of my business!"
That's because in the UK and in Europe your job, your income and your religion don't define who you are. They're not your personality, and they can all be changed. Also, on religion, we spent centuries killing each other over religion so no wonder we learned not to talk about it with strangers.
I think the main thing here in the U.K., in a social setting anyway, is that people generally don’t really care about what you do, how much you earn etc. As long as you’re not boring, you’re fine! We want banter, laughs, not a breakdown of your CV and how many zeros are at the end of your salary 😂
@@jackx4311 Perhaps the Europeans don't feel that they as individuals can be 'pigeonholed' for their character by simple facts such as Religion, House/Home size/style, Income . (Neither do I, fwiw )
Re getting a restaurant bill soon after the food is served . . . Another reason this is not done in the UK is that it's common here not to decide what further course(s) one wants (if any) until after the main course is eaten, and whether or not to order further drinks (coffee, brandy, etc.) until the final food course is finished. Servers routinely ask when clearing after each eaten course if further courses are wanted (and if not, the diners will anyway ask), will add the further items to the bill as the meal progresses, and will not present it until everyone has confirmed they want nothing more, so that it's definitively complete.
There may be a generational aspect to this. Not quite the same thing but there's a particular café I'm very fond of, run by a Scottish-Italian family (father from Salerno, mother and three children all Scottish-born), where you order your meal at the counter and they bring it to you. I've noticed that if the younger family members serve you they instinctively go to take payment immediately unless you ask them not to, whereas the parents are laid back and let you pay when you're done. Which is good because after you've had the meal you ordered, you might well be tempted by the selection of excellent cakes and pastries they bring in from an Italian-owned bakery nearby.
You can still add to the bill, they’re just leaving it with you so you don’t have to wait for them in order to pay when you’re finished. They’re not telling you they’re done with taking your order or to hurry up and leave, they’ll check back to see if you want anything else. They’re just giving you the option to pay as soon as you’re ready to leave. It’s actually more efficient for both sides that you don’t have to wait for them when you’re done.
@@walneygirlI think that in general, if you order at the counter then payment is taken at the time of ordering, if there is table service then payment is taken when the meal is finished
Right, and if I was British, with (by definition) nothing important to do or anywhere important to go, that would be fine. Most people eat and want to go, not sit around wasting time at a restaurant waiting for the bill. Wasting my time in not tolerated.
Many years ago, I had an American expat (from New York) as my project manager. He was from New York, but he had lived in Norway for a couple of decades. Lovely man. He sometimes talked about what it was like to go home to visit family and friends, or have them visiting him. He had gotten so used to people using their indoor voices when they talked that the had to go through a period of "social acclimatization" when he spent time with his loved ones from home. "We Americans don't really talk to each other. We shout, and I find it really invasive and draining now that I'm not used to it anymore." Amen to that, Brother!
I remember being in the bubble of a 747 (economy seating) when the flight attendant announced that boarding was complete and we could spread out to the available seats. Before she’d finished her sentence one couple leapt from their seats and threw themselves onto a row each. God help anyone who got in their way. I remember thinking that while they each had a row to themselves, once the flight was over they still wouldn’t have class.
The loudness point is exactly the same as the last point about entitlement/selfishness/assertiveness in taking something in a communal situation. If you are being loud you are monopolising the shared space in a sonic sense! If you conceptualise it by that principle of not taking up a big footprint, leaving space for others, (rather than some rule about noise levels) then whether you are used to loud or quiet places doesn't really change it. If you constantly aware of how much conceptual "space" you are taking up in life, then it's just natural to notice when you are taking up more than your fair share of the specific environment you're currently in, rather than some arbitrary loudness value, and you don't need to make different rules for different situations (e.g. library vs office vs rock concert), it's just a general principle that works everywhere!
OMG, mind your own business. This is why Americans are free to do and say whatever we want. Have you ever been to a concert in Scotland? Loudest, rudest people I have ever met.
Re queueing . . . In the UK there may not actually be a physical line, but everybody who joins a 'notional' queue (at the bar in a pub, for instance) knows who was already there and, consequently, who arrived later. The bar staff (in this example) also have a fairly good idea, but not complete as they have to be looking at what they're doing as well. It's quite common for a barperson (we rarely say "bartender") to ask "Who's next; you Sir?" and for the addressed person to say "No, he/she's next." Often, it's done wordlessly, with raised eyebrows and nods or gestures.
Yes, it is like that at the vets, you are all sitting in a waiting room but you have to keep track of who was there when you got there so you can take your turn.
Yes, bar staff usually have a pretty good idea who comes next. Waving a bank note will NOT get you preferential treatment. Stating that "no, this person was next" will always get you served second, even if you were actually 5th.
Regarding religion, we had an American colleague of my husband to stay who insisted that we held hands while he said grace. We are atheists and found it incredibly rude that someone should impose his religion on us in our own home. I was so shocked that l didn’t say anything but if it were to happen again l would certainly object.
@@lizbignell2820 you should have just said No Thank you but you go ahead. It is very rude to impose any religion on anyone but especially in their own home. He should have asked you if it would be ok if he said Grace? And even if you said yes, Holding hands No! People should not presume everyone thinks and feels the same way they do.
Exactly - as a Brit, you were not only shocked but also too polite to say anything, because we would feel that we were being rude, despite the American colleague's rudeness!
The placing of cutlery originally evolved in etiquette as a signal to the waiter. Straight together was a sign you were finished, crossed was a sign you were still eating.
I really learned that lesson the hard way, on my first visit to usa I was with friends in a restaurant and towards the end of the meal I just couldn't hold myself any longer and had to go for a wee; I am one of those people who save the best of my food till last and I had a lovely chunk of meat and gravy and just the right amount of mashed potatoes left to enjoy it. I carefully and deliberately left my cutlery crossed so that the waiter would know I hadn't finished, dashed to the loo and dashed back only to find to my horror that my plate was gone!!! I was so upset and outraged that I most uncharacteristically demanded that it be replaced but really the meal was ruined for me.
It's so ingrained that even at home, eating my tea on my knee while watching the TV, when I finish I put my cutlery together neatly before getting up and taking them to the dishwasher.
During the Irish “Troubles” during the 70s-90s giving the wrong response to the question ‘Church or Chapel?’ could get you killed. Yet another reason why region is not discussed in the UK.
It is far older than that, in fact. The U.K. has a state religion. Being of the wrong religion could get you killed or jailed for centuries. Membership in the wrong religion could be perceived as lack of loyalty to the throne. The roots of This practice in the U.K. is not really decorum. It is self preservation.
Bill Bryson, a quote from an American author who wrote 'Notes from a Small Island' nails British attitudes to queuing...'not only do the British queue, they queue without being told to do so!'
It wasn't always so. I have pictures of people trying to board buses and trams in the 1920s and '30s which look like a rugby scrum. In 1941 it was made law that more than six people waiting for a bus had to form an orderly queue, and the same naturally happened in shops where most commodities were rationed, so by the end of the war the nation had habituated to forming a queue whenever there was a need for it. Thankfully it's a habit we've never lost.
The "polite" requests are also showing there's no assumption of status, despite one person working in the service role and the other the paying customer. Money isn't what gives you social standing to nearly the same extent.
The last census in the UK revealed that the majority now have no religion. So asking about what church a person goes to will quite likely be met by a "Huh?" response.
I think most Brits finally realised that after 2000 years of waiting Jesus just isn't showing up. Our patience is finally exhausted. It was probably just a made up story anyway.
I am from a catholic family that sent me to a protestant school, then a progressive comprehensive secondary that had no religious bias. I was and am an atheist. However when it comes to heritage and culture I am absolutely a Christian. Even Richard Dawkins acknowledges this.
@@John-k6f9kIt's a small minded view though since God is infinite so a few thousand years would be like a weekend to him. Most religious people understand that God won't often do things on our watch
Placing the knife and fork the way you describe, - knife on the right, fork turned upwards beside it, is not just an odd custom, it’s actually a sign to the waiter that you have finished eating. No matter how busy he or she is, a good waiter will spot this and come to clear the table as soon as they can. It’s much more civilised than trying to catch the water’s eye by raising an arm or waving, which they may not appreciate.
I'm Australian, my mother was a waitress. She taught me that with knife and fork together the plate is "closed". You have finished eating. With knife and fork apart, the plate is "open", you have not finished eating.
Good point. Americans are more likely to cut their food into pieces, then put down the knife and switch the fork to their right hand to eat one-handed. Other cultures can be particular about utensil usage too. In Indonesia I was sometimes politely "corrected" for eating with just a fork. They traditionally use a spoon and fork, with the spoon in the right hand and the fork just to help load the spoon. Being unaccustomed to eating a main course with a spoon, I would leave it on the table and eat one-handed with the fork, which would often be picked up on by other diners. Edit: Regarding utensil placement when finished, the Indonesians are similar to the British in that they place their spoon and fork in a certain way to indicate completion. Not parallel, but in approximately the "8.20" position with tips touching. Frequently corrected on that too before I learnt.
@@jaygee5693 A Chef will prepare your food and take time to make it look nice on the plate, then along comes an American who cuts it up into small pieces making it look a complete mess, akin to something you`d do to s little childs dinner.
I was stationed in the U.K. With the American Air Force in the 1980s. Our assignment was coming to an end, and my British landlord, who lived out of the area, asked be to be home in the middle of the day to show a prospective tenant the house. Having to go back to work afterward, I kept my uniform on. When the gentleman arrived, he looked at me and said :“Thank god, an American!” He was Canadian and was apparently not enjoying his company’s “career broadening” assignment to the mother country of U.K.
Had a pushy American one evening in Florence. Was alone in the queue for a restaurant not yet open at the start of the queue and an American woman wanted to read the menu on a chalk board at the entrance. That is what she said! Was then joined by another person and then another! I just watched!!! My daughter finally arrived and I did the eyebrow rise at the group! The restaurant finally opened, the American group, being joined by another friend, surged in without a backward glance!! The waiter asked if we wanted to sit next to them and I emphatically said “certainly not”! At which he gave a big grin!! As an after thought I wonder if that is how this group operated all over Europe? No wonder Some Americans get a bad name!
Yes, I've seen the same when I lived in Europe but unfortunately I suspect that post the catastrophic brexit the english are viewed with a similar contempt as Europeans have no way of distinguishing between the rude and exceptionalist ones and decent people.
@@PurityVendettaoh bless you! Having travelled to mainland Europe dozens of times since the democratic decision to leave the EU, the one single bad comment I’ve had is from a family member who lives abroad and doesn’t even know the UK anymore. From the rest it’s been surprise and respect for having the courage to stand alone. But you do you.
You've missed off the one about Americans holding their forks in their right hands, waving them in the air as they speak and cutting their food with them. It's regarded as really 'lower class' and uncultured to do that in the United Kingdom. The reason that you ask if you can move seats on an aeroplane is so that, if there is an accident and they're finding bodies, it helps to know who was in that seat (so I was told on a flight)😬
Sorry to be pedantic but could you please say the 'the rest of Europe' or 'elsewhere in Europe'. Implying the UK is not in Europe is likely to ruffle feathers. By which I mean MY feathers.
@@barrysteven5964 British Isles are part of the European continent, UK left the political "club" the European Union. So geographically nothing has changed, politically, well, here we are in a very changed Britain. Eta, like Norway, part of Europe not part of EU.
This is a thing older people say. It's not true. I was a teen in the peak era of ASBOS and all the rest, and my generation was the worst. We're all about 50 now, looking down on Gen Z.
@@gordon1545 You have a point, certainly the most violent and dishonest generation were in their teens from mid 70s to early 80s. I think however they were able to be polite when not out mugging and stealing.
@@ziggarillo It's the American 'culture' slowly infecting them. I hear so many young people saying American words for things now, instead of the UK equivalents. Also they don't seem to understand how phones work either... They always have them on speaker-phone... I don't want to hear your conversation.
American here...older than you Kalyn so maybe it's generational but I have always been taught that there is unspoken language to your cutlery in a restaurant that conveys if you have completed your meal or if you are merely pausing. Also as per the bill delivery is also a status level of the restaurant. If you are eating at say, a diner you're probably getting your bill shortly after your meal arrives. If you are eating at the Ritz, you will not be receiving your bill moments after you receive your meal.
@@oopsdidItypethatoutloud Right? The way I was taught. If you cross your cutlery you're merely pausing. If you place it like Kalyn showed in the video, cutlery side by side and pointing in 10 and 4 o'clock position. You have completed your meal and the server may remove your dish.
Aye, though we leave them at 20 past 7 if we're not finished. Crossing them could be bad luck, as it was meant to be an insult to the host or cook. I'd forgotten all about that until Chris, in the comment above, reminded me ❤️ from Northeast England ❤️
You will also be asked if you require anything else before the bill is made up. This gives you time to adjust your sitting position so you won't fall off the chair when the bill IS presented.
Especially in a pub ... where alcohol will be involved. No harm in a general discussion (or moan) but if it turns into a one-on-one confrontation, well ...
Not talking about religion, money and politics is a class thing in the UK. It's taboo for the working classes. The more cultured/educated a social group, the more likely informed discussion happens about religion and politics.
Only well-off Americans give house tours, not the rest of us. The loud thing is annoying everywhere. Wish there was a remote control to turn the volume down on some people.
Some people like to talk about their medical problems way too much. When you ask someone "How have you been?", or say "I hope you're well.", you don't really want to have to stop for 10 minutes to hear every detail about their ingrown toenail infection.
In Australia it's very common to be in a store where people gather near the counter but not in a specific queue and when the staff ask "who's next?" you turn to someone who was there before you and say "are you being looked after?" Quite often that person has already been serves and is waiting for their items to be prepared but you would never push in front or not be considerate.
I've been using that technique in bars for decades, if you're asked, and you know it's not your turn, you say " No, this gentleman/lady was before me ", this will guarantee the barman/maid will remember your courtesy, and you'll definitely be served next ...
A strictly American thing which I saw was a group of US tourists in a rather nice restaurant (not fast food) actually joining hands and praying loudly/ saying grace when their food arrived. I thought this was incredibly rude and disruptive - everyone turned to stare at them. Pray if you want, but do it silently, although I have never seen anyone praying in a restaurant before!
@@redwarrior2424 Christians are not allowed to pray in public. "But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret." (Mathew 6:6)
I feel the need to challenge you on a couple points. Maybe this is different because I’m from Michigan, but every one I know always stacks their silverware on their plates when finished eating. This both signals to the wait/bussing staff we’re finished, and makes bussing the table easier. (Caveat: I’m not a fancy guy; we’re talking Olive Garden for special occasions.) Second: no one I know bluntly asks things of retail staff. It’s always preceded by “excuse me…”, “”pardon me…”, “sorry to interrupt…”. To do otherwise is in fact rude. I’ve seen it, as rude people can be found anywhere, but is certainly not the norm. Retail and wait staff get treated badly enough by their employers. I certainly won’t exacerbate that.
I work for an advice charity in England. A few years ago we had a visiting American student for the summer who helped with the phone calls. Other people in the same room found it really hard to concentrate because she was so loud. She had a notice stuck over her workspace saying INDOOR VOICE! But she just couldn't help it. It was a relief for the rest of us when she finished her stint and we could hear ourselves think again. I didn't realise how true the "loud Americans" thing was until I met her.
#8 - A request for utensils in the UK might result in you being brought a spatula and a balloon whisk. The appropriate collective term for dining implements in the UK is "cutlery".
Can't say I've ever thought someone eating in a restaurant asking for utensils could possibly be asking for things such as spatulas or whisks.. anymore than I'd figure someone saying "can I please have a knife?" If they were missing one at the table (or theirs was dirty) would potentially be asking for a kitchen knife which is much bigger and sharper than a standard knife. Dont' know about your part of the UK, but in my part we use logic and common sense to determine what they might be referring to when asking for something that has more than one word to describe it. Utensils is fine if that's the word they can think of.
I used to work in a stately home which was open to the public through the summer. I have to say everyone dreaded the Americans coming in 😂 The entitlement is mind boggling. They would try and come in without paying, try and go into rooms that were out of bounds or said private on them and just generally be loud and obnoxious. We'd get so frustrated with them. Then at the end of their visit would say what a wonderful place to visit....while we gently ushered them out of the door half an hour after closing time 🙈.
As an American myself, it's so disheartening to read comments like this again and again about Americans. I would not do any of those things you mentioned and would be embarrassed if someone I was with did them. I wonder if it's not just a generational thing but regional also.
@@redwarrior2424 well take heart in the fact that you are not the archetype, and if you treat others as you would like to be treated, you'll be marled as one of the exceptions which proves the rule. And remember, for every demographic there are people who, like you, don't match negative expectations - so you're not alone.
@@DmGray It's possible that it's also related to an age thing. Given limited holidays, a *lot* of US tourists are retired, and have spent most, if not all, of their adult life in one culture, and only get to experience others at a somewhat advanced age, and may have what may seem to other people to be an excessive amount of curiosity. When I travel, I try to remind myself that I am basically a child in the culture I have traveled to, but doing that might not be easy for someone who is doing it for the first time, and is old enough to be a grandparent.
I don't like when the servers interrupt your conversation so they can check in on you it's like you're deep in conversation with the person or group you're with in the server comes to check on you
Even worse is when one person or several in a family group are served several minutes before everyone else in the small group is served. Or when plates are removed from some, while others are eating.
There's a legal reason in the UK for them to check "Is everything OK?" as it gives them an opportunity to fix any problems and reduce the chance of complaints after and disputes over the bill.
Either when you're deep in conversation or you've got your mouth full and then you have to do that awkward trying to chew your food while also not choking just to end up smiling and nodding lol
I don't know when they started doing that. I don't remember having the waiter interrupting my meals years ago. If there's a problem I'll let them know by getting their attention.
I have social anxiety and even hate speaking to salespeople in shops. BUT, if someone skips a queue there is something that triggers in my brain and I will absolutely make sure they know how I feel. It might just be a disgusted look and head shake, but often I actually spoke up and said something. For ME to do that shows how big a deal it is!
The leaving your knife and fork together on your plate at the end of a meal is a very old tradition. It comes from the old fashioned thing where you would get a series of cutlery laid out before the meal, with different sets for each course. Then once you finish that course you leave them on the plate to be taken away, then you use the next set when the course arrives. Its also a good signal to the waiter to say you're finished with that course, if you leave the cutlery balanced on the edge of the plate on opposite sides it means you're still eating, whereas leaving them as you described means you're finished and would like the plate removed. This kind of style of service is very rare these days but it was taught so much to older generations that its just stuck around.
A guest would be seated in my living room and I would let them know where the toilet (bathroom) is in my council flat. I would not show them my bedroom. As I always offer guests at least tea and biscuits there wouldn't be much point them being shown around the little kitchen.
Religion was the root of a lot of strife throughout the British Isles from the mid C16th until in to the C19th (and there are still some issues in some places). Having been there, we don't wish to go there again and it is one of the reasons that people as a rule do not wish to talk about or discuss religion. The UK generally is much more secular (and increasingly so) than the US. The most recent census had far more people saying 'no religion' than previously.
That is my thoughts I’ve from Glasgow and I had to tell American preachers that handing out bibles or tracts to customers in my work is not going to go down well here as we have customers of multi faiths and no one wants preached at when they go into a fast food place.
When you see some preachers in USA I wonder are they Christian or just out to accumulate wealth for themselves! Within the United Kingdom we need a greater Christian culture, but without the hard division of Anglican, Catholic and Free church traditions. Not everyone wants the same style of worship.
@@pinknylon1121 I see and hear more people criticising those that have a belief in a religion than the other way around. Often to declare that you are a Christian in particular, invites a diatribe on how bad Christianity is, all from one small bigoted opinion and I suspect that is one of the main reasons why Christians shy away from discussions.
House tour - no way! I don't want anyone to see my place, especially upstairs and the bedrooms! Americans also can't hold and use a knife and fork properly
@aliservan7188 Every tool in the World has been designed with an optimum way of using it in mind - for efficiency and safety - the traditional British way of using knives and forks isn't to make life difficult, or to be petty, but is to maximise control, efficiency, and to allow elbows to be kept close to the body. Americans tend to eat like a 4 year old experiencing cutlery for the first time - it's extremely jarring and actually embarrassing in formal situations.
You have to also consider US culture was established with far more amalgamations of many different cultures (Africans, Argentinians, Armenians, Brazilians, Brits, Chinese, Cubans, French, Georgians, Greeks, Indians, Irish, Italians, Jamaicans, Japanese, Jews, Koreans, Mexicans, Native Indians, Polish, Portuguese, Russians, Scots, Spaniards, Swedes. Swiss, Vietnamese, etc.).
Transport, pubs, and hotel lobbies are sort of outdoors for hat etiquette. However, in the hotel lobby hats to be removed when approaching the reception, or encountering a woman. On the approaching a woman subject, at any time in the street when passing a woman the hat is to be raised with the hand furthest away from the lady. It is also raised when encountering men friends as part of the greeting.
I generally don't wear a hat, but I thought it was only gentlemen who had to remove their hats indoors in traditional etiquette? And that a lady does not remove her hat indoors if she is dressed up. And that Sporting attire is a different thing
@@RadioJonophone According to Miss Manners, sports hats for women aren't included; she doesn't draw a line, so I don't know if, for example, a fashion baseball cap (see Janet Jackson, & many others since) is ok to be worn indoors. Miss Manners (Judith Martin) is traditional and considered old fashioned by many. I find her advice lines up with much of what British etiquette requires.
Our queuing thing isn't about being friendly and kind, as might be thought. It's the clearest example of enlightened self-interest you could ever see. If I don't want anyone jumping me in a queue then I must not jump anyone else in a queue, otherwise the system will break down. The definition of anxiety is British people in an Italian queue. I'm saying this from experience.
I live in the South, and here we use ALL the please, thank yous, etc. I did have a woman from Brooklyn work in my store and people complained she was rude. She was to-the-point, direct, spoke quickly, and didn't insert all of the extra vowels into her words like we do. Very much a regional difference.
I’m British,husband is American.I have lots of things I can agree with,but you missed my pet peeve about Americans and that’s wearing hats in the house(unless for religious reasons) I don’t understand it and it really drives me mad.
And definitely not "silverware" as I've heard some Americans refer to it. Interesting that they don't know what to call and don't know how to use it. I suppose the ultimate test would be a fully laid multi course laid table, including fish knives, soup spoons, etc,.
@@RoyCousins I often have a private chuckle when I think of the woman who didn`t know the National Anthem or how to curtsey when first married into the Royal Family, being seated at her first State Banquet. Fly on the Wall time.
Silverware is simply the more expensive version of cutlery....used mainly at high end weddings etc....not really common household items. Cutlery covers all table eating items whether standard or specific such as fish knife etc...
The only reason some rooms aren't for visitors is because that's where we shove all the crap that was in the other rooms just before your visit.
Yeah most of us don't have enough storage space.
Roflmfao sooooo true
@@algrant5293 Dang! I do love it so much when someone finally speaks the truth !
That’s British? Everyone does that… same thing in America
😆💯
I'm an American who's never been to Britain, but I can honestly say that NOT saying please or excuse me, or the like, to me is being incredibly rude. I have worked in retail, and a customer who used the pleasantries would get a much better response from me than one who just flat out asked the question.
In Britain we are taught as a child to always say excuse me, please, thank you, etc. It sounds like Americans don’t have such strong default lessons all children are taught.
I agree with you. I think if you are raised in the south or the midwestern parts of the US you tend to be taught these manners more often.
Many Brits in supermarkets will ask in the American way for something. Working in the NHS it is certainly a regular occurrence and all of these polite mannerisms go out out of the window. As a nation we are less polite than we used to be and often see staff as fair game. At one point zero tolerance posters regarding aggression or rudeness to staff were almost unheard of. Now they are everywhere.
@@philipdouglas5911social media has seriously dismantled the principle of constantly using manners and younger parents have become so lazy when teaching any to a child. I can remember a time when “oh my God” was stated equivalent to a lead swear word although the UK has become much more Atheist so makes sense why for such a term but swearing is so much more common. American movies, social media they developed, etc encourage the serious decline by around 70% to what it once was.
I agree. I am American, and not saying please, thank you, and excuse me is DEFINTELY rude. I was taught to be polite while I was still learning to walk. I also do not shove people aside or jump the queue/line. Nor do the people I know. I ask when I don't know the rules or ettiquette of an unfamiliar situation. I do not just barge in. I don't know what kind of people Girl Gone London was around when she lived in the US, but most of what she described as typical American behavior I consider very rude. This list was strange to me, although I certainly agree with the British people who find the behavior described to be rude!
Truthfully, I would consider many of these things rude and I live in the States!
I came here to say the same thing.
In the U.S. we line up. We’re famous for it. ( Yes, there are the shopping days when customers go crazy.)
We say hi and thank you to retail workers.
Of course we ask if we may sit in another airline seat.
Same!
My mom/dad, and sister were the only ones who got a tour of my house. Friends were escorted down the hall for the bathroom. I live in the US but would never show my house to non family members. Sometimes not even family. That's just creepy.
Likewise
Yes,to be honest if this lady has lived here more than ten years she should have worked out that we couldn't give a tuppeny damn about what the American way of doing things are.After all we tried Amway and that was quite enough.
And if you don't get it you don't understand British Humour. I see there was no mention of that !!
I live in Japan, and it's considered offensive to tip! It's awesome. No tip required. No worries. Never have to think about it. It should be the same everywhere.
I also live in Japan. No tips, yet the service is better than in the US.
Yeah I'm an American who visited Japan on business. I had heard this "it's rude to tip in Japan" thing so I didn't. I got the same dirty look as would get in the US. If it's known that your custom IS to tip and you don't, you get "the look". But having said that, customer service in Asia (Japan, Hong Kong, Singapore, Taiwan) is the BEST!
Really! That is awesome. I also learned that the Japanese take off their shoes before going into someone's house. That is so nice. But you have to remember to
wear decent socks with no holes. You have to prepare ahead. What about gifts? Should an American take a "gift" when invited to their home in Japan? What kind of gift is acceptable? I'd really like to go to Japan, but I don't want to be rude to anyone. What do you do in Japan if they serve raw fish, and I really don't want to eat raw fish. How do I politely decline their offer?
I've been saying this for years. Tipped wages need to go. I can't believe that's still a thing in this day.
I was fortunate to be able to visit Sendai - Shiogama - Ishinomaki in the 90s and I loved it. One time I had left a Pichinko casino and somehow had left a bit of money behind. A casino employee came running down the street about 100 yards to return my money to me. Also, there was so little worry of underage Japanese buying beer, it was sold in vending machines.
American restaurants should pay a living wage to their staff instead of expecting the customer to pay it. Tipping culture has gotten out of hand in the USA.
It is even worse in Canada as the government taxes waiting staff assuming that they get tips. So they can get absolutely livid if you don't tip them.
Fun fact, the waiters unions fought to keep tipping culture because they make more money by guilt tripping than they would with a fixed hourly wage. That's why it won't ever change; they want it the way it is now.
I couldn't agree more with this statement. I've worked in restaurants. I don't know how people can budget or live comfortably on tips. When the economy's bad, they get less tips. If servers and restaurant staff were paid a living wage, when they're working they're getting paid. Now with trump saying tips aren't going to be taxed, I guess working a tip job is going to be better. Frankly, if I have to pay tax on my income, I don't think it's right that someone else doesn't. Last note, when Covid hit, it was glaringly obvious how devastating to those who worked for tips. If they had been earning a living wage and paid full unemployment, they would have had something coming in...
It will never happen because then restaurant owners need to increase prices and will charge $15 bucks for a cup of coffee like in Switzerland. Americans like cheap food and massive quantities of it.
I agree, but then prices would go up.
Hello. I’m American, and I was taught to put my utensils on my plate to signify that I was finished eating. I’ve done this all my life.
I don’t recall being explicitly taught to place my utensils on my plate to signal that I was done eating, but that’s what my mom did so I followed her lead.
I’m American and was taught two ways to position my utensils to signal whether I am ‘resting’ or ‘finished eating’. My only challenge is finding wait-staff who recognize the silent signal and interrupt the conversation by saying ‘are you finished’ or ‘may I take your plate’? Drives me crazy!
Me too!!
That's UK etiquette
@janetcross3210 Acting like it's only UK etiquette lol
If you don't say 'thank you', expect as sarcastic 'you're welcome' muttered back.
even if someone doesn't do a thank you wave in traffic.
@@KX36 so true. And clearly mouth ‘you’re welcome’ as they go past 😂
or have a shite day ☺
Or “don’t mention it!! Ok it’s ok you already didn’t!!!”
Some of the most wonderful come backs I've ever heard have been from people who feel a customer (or driver) should have said thank you.
I am an American, so maybe it's because I'm from an older generation (I'm 75 years old) but I would also consider most of the behaviors you mentioned to be rude. For example, I live in a big city, but in our grocery stores, we will always give the other person "first dibs" on an item; we will make way for them and their cart while apologizing for being in their way (even if we aren't), and if they have fewer items in their cart than we have, we will offer to let them go through checkout before us - and they usually graciously accept. Everyone I know always precedes a request for information with at least "Excuse me" and ends with a "Thanks!" At restaurants, we have to ask for the bill - I can't remember a time when the bill was presented without being requested. The one thing I can agree on is American loudness - I have lived overseas in several places and had had to learn to lower my voice and not even speak at all in certain places (like on the bus in Finland).
Consideration shows
I could not agree more, and I'm also a baby boomer. Most of the things mentioned here I was taught to do (knife/fork together on plate when done; "Excuse me, please, I'm sorry..."; being quiet in public settings, etc.). I am still flabbergasted when entering a restroom and people are talking on their cell phones in the stalls, and then flush the toilet while still talking!! Now THAT is beyond rude!! But long before the word "entitled" was mentioned in the podcast, it was racing through my head as the cause of many of the behaviors mentioned. Putting others first goes a long way in creating the civilization we all like to live in.
I’m 51 and American and all these things I consider rude also. My parents raised me well. That’s the problem these days, parents aren’t doing a good job.
You are completely right. This woman tells ridiculous derogatory lies in order to look sophisticated to Europeans.
Likewise, although I'm younger than you (in my fifties). I also wondered as I was listening if these behaviors are more prevalent in younger Americans.
As a Brit, I was taught from and early age to put the knife and fork together when you had finished eating - also never ever, ever, put the knife in your mouth.
The rule of not putting a knife in one's mouth was the result of too many thick toffs managing to cut their tongues!
@@user-nu6wm8tx1y no knife in your mouth started as a safety measure, before forks the knife was used to put food in your mouth, but they weren't cutlery, they were more double edged daggers
I came over here to Australia as a teenager and was hired as a waitress in a small cafe. I was shocked to see people with their elbows on the table, talking with their mouth full, and not putting their knife and fork together after eating, some would even smoke after a meal and stub their cigarette out on the plate!!
Oh yes I forgot about that. It seems to have been largely stopped as I don't remember the last time I or anyone else has done that.
@@ottowa58 that's disgusting, says a lot about their upbringing
as an englishman married to an american, i have to admit the cultural differences made our relationship very hard at the beginning. but i have always lived by the motto of manners maketh the man.
What did you each learn in the end? - like, learn to accept or learn to do ...
We were taught ‘manners maketh man, and also little children’! That was at primary school in the 60s!
Hi Tayler! And, I might add, a lady! Manners in the US can scarcely be found. At one time we were taught at home and school good manners, but that has slid into an abyss never to be seen again, I'm afraid. Younger people would be so much happier if they were taught to be polite (kinder) to one another and manners in general.
I'm in the UK and can't stand a child with no manners 🙄 That is not their fault, it shows how they weren't taught. I brought our two children up with my husband to always be polite and they picked it up straightway. It is something that teachers and other parents notice and I'm hoping they will do well in the workplace!
Same with me and my husband, I’m Italian and he’s British - 24 years later and there are still differences but mainly in how we parent; just have to learn to compromise!
If I go for a meal at a restaurant, it's an evening out. I'd hate to feel I was being rushed.
It awful eating out in the USA. It’s just a task there, to feed yourself, you’re expected to leave as soon as you’re done. We stopped eating out there as it’s just not an enjoyable experience at all
@@amybagnall6097like you, I can only go by my own experience. You haven’t lived everywhere and I haven’t travelled everywhere. In my experience, in the states I’ve been to, this is what happens every time. They don’t bring the bill with the food, but as soon as you put your knife and fork down they bring it. They don’t wait for you to ask for it. You are subtlety expected to eat and leave. There is no this table is yours for the night. It’s is a time allocation, they want you in and out for tips. Please, I’d love to know that this isn’t the case somewhere there, and that you can spend the night at the table, as you do in other countries. Can you recommend where we could go to get the enjoyable night out experience in a restaurant, booking the table for 20:00 and remaining until 23:00-24:00?
@@carrie5490it's not really like that where I'm at, tho I'm also in a slower part of the country (missouri)
omg eating in america... the constant asking are you ok, is the food ok , is the service ok, ..... so fecking annoying! its not real interest its begging!... someone to take the order, deliver the food, give the bill.... im happy!
Same for me and everyone I know here in New Zealand; going to a restaurant is an occasion. If we just want to eat, we cook at home or buy takeaways; we don't even go to restaurants when we're away from home - not *_real_* restaurants, anyway.
MacDonald's and Burger King may *_call_* themselves restaurants, but they aren't, they're just "fast-food joints" with a place to sit and eat, and there may well be tables at a fish 'n' chip shop where you can eat if you're on the road (or you eat in your car or at a nearby park) but actual *_proper_* restaurants, we only go to them if it's someone's birthday or an end-of-year work lunch or some other occasion.
And we sure as hell aren't wanting to be rushed out the door.
I don't know where you're eating in the US, but in decades as a server, I NEVER gave a customer his or her check when I took their food. We also know to place our eating utensils so a server knows we are done, and we would never think of not saying please and thank you.
You're completely right. This woman tells derogatory lies in order to appear sophisticated to Europeans.
I was born and raised in the U.S, am now Canadian after many years of marriage and have lived in four countries for significant periods. I found a helpful and useful thing to remember is to try and watch how the people of other countries you visit, or live in, act in their normal day with others, and take your queue from them. Every culture is different, for their unique and respectful reasons, and I have always found others very respectful if you are likewise.
Cue, nit queue.
"not" 😂
Cue, not queue.
@@eydiefalkenhagen4434 thank you. I often do my replies late at night, and I made a mistake, but thank you for pointing it out. I believe people should use our language properly.., before AI rids us of of our past!🫠❤
@@lynnrobinson8885
I agree with taking cues from those around you when visiting a place that’s culturally unfamiliar to you.
When in Rome….
As a U.K. person who worked in many many pubs, we were told to never take plates away until everyone at the table has finished. Otherwise it makes those who are still eating feel rushed if waiting staff start taking plates away. But annoyingly this has crept in in other EU countries because American tourists.
American living in the UK here. I worked in many restaurants in the US. I would never clear a plate from a table before everyone finished unless asked to do so, which does happen. However I think you see it in more casual establishments rather than fine dining
Edit to add: a good waitperson would also never put the bill on the table after serving the meal, I’d sell you something nice for dessert. You’d never see it done in a nice restaurant.
It was also considered rude to leave the table while others were still eating. TV dinners killed that off.
UK is not in the EU
@@Fordprefect1000 We are still European and NOT USA, not yet!
@@savagesnayle301 The British Isles are not part of the European continent.
Americans used to know to put their knife and fork together on their plate to indicate they were finished with their meal. This confirms my suspicion that sometime in the last 30 years, American parents stopped trying to teach their children table manners.
not just American
Miss Gael, you just nailed it. What was once what everyone did is now seldom done, to the detriment of society. Good manners are essential to civilization!
They don't eat at the table any more, it's in their rooms in front of the computer/ipad/phone.
Utensils should go together at “5’o clock” on the plate. Americans just lob them wherever 😂
Maybe it's a generational thing. I always do that.
Let's not stereotype. Not all Americans have rude habits!!❤
Most of what she says has to be for British clicks because most of it is ridiculous. I've lived in 6 different US states my whole life & lived a summer in the UK & 90% of the things she claims aren't true
Most things come down to having manners and just generally being more considerate of others.
I think that's the point of the video though. What is 'good manners' in one is not necessarily 'good manners' in another. One thing I've noticed about the shouting though is that it's generational. We weren't 'quiet as mice' when we were younger either but we didn't shout. I've noticed now they keep their headphones in then shout at each other LOL.
Not an American habit, the newer generations have never been exposed to manners, politeness or anything beyond I Me Mine
@@katmurphy6634 It certainly seems that way. Just look at the way they handle voice calls... They always have it on speaker phone and hold the end of the phone to their ear 🤦♂️😆
Yes, I'm thinking it may be a generational or regional thing. I would never just take another empty seat on a plane. I would definitely ask the flight attendant if it would be okay to move. I don't give tours of my house, although I love seeing other people's, and may ask if I can. I'm okay with "no." Who talks about religion with anyone you don't actually know, or, really anyone except at church? I really wonder where she grew up in the states.
It really doesn't take much upfront effort, and could save a lot of wasted energy afterwards.
About Americans being loud: last week I was travelling by train from where I live to Barcelona. The train was fairly crowded, not packed, but certainly lots of people. I would not say Spaniards are a quiet lot by any means, but the only voices that could be heard on the train were those of 4 American guys wowing and marvelling at our public transportation system.
well at least they wernt complaining
I'm visiting the UK right now. Let me tell you...there are LOUD Brits in pubs. Usually the younger folks. Not saying anything wrong with it, just noticeable
Rail in Spain, both local and intercity has advanced really quickly in the last 20 years.
@@suedworshak5333 - To be fair to us here, Sue - usually the only places where we could vent our complaints, stresses, and frustrations of the day itself, or week freely out aloud after a few drinks, were in pubs, or at home. Even at football matches, etc - while Nightclubs were possible, too, simply because no one could hear you over the blasting music . . . lol . . .
@@suedworshak5333Really not a comparable situation..
I’m in the UK. I will show friends and family a tour only if I just moved.
Yes, housewarming parties start with a tour.
I don't think this supposed prohibition on UK house tours is that common, even in the buttoned-up south. When first time visitors express interest in the layout of our not particularly remarkable bungalow, we do offer them a tour, and some even ask for one. Unless the "closed up" rooms are in a truly disgusting condition, we're generally fine with this. Interior design, efficient use of space, "flow", "character", development potential,visit furnishibg, colour etc are all very interesting to Brits - witness the multiple "property porn" magazines and TV shows - and is a staple topic of conversation with home visitors, along with tips about builders, suppliers etc.
Yes came here to say the same thing. If you've just moved in all your friends will want a tour the first time they visit your new home. However if I made a new friend and was invited to their house for the first time I wouldn't dream of asking for a tour.
It’s not just that it seems like showing off. It’s the presumption of thinking anyone would be remotely interested.
close friends at that!
When I worked in the restaurant business here in the US, the reason we used to drop off the bill right away was to not keep the customer waiting if they were in a hurry or simply were ready to leave at a time when we were with another table.
Well that sounds like common sense…perceived as rude by the tea-sippn’ brigades.
American here. It’s not acceptable for people not to say please and thank you in the US. That’s just not having been raised with manners and it IS considered rude here.
@nl212ep I agree! I think it's terribly rude to not ask with please and then say thank you when someone does something for you, even if it's their job to do it.
You worked in a restaurant in the US and gave the bill with the meal? If you have, you're the only one.
@@rdoyle2355 it was a policy at that restaurant.
Someone once said the USA went from barbarism to decadence without the intervening period of culture
What's the difference between the US & milk? Give it 200 years & milk will develop culture
That someone was Oscar Wilde, I think.
There's truth to that. We were Brits, and poor ones at that, until 1945. Now we're all pretty decadent, and nobody is British anymore.
It was Marx. In 1861.
@@trevormillar1576 Oh now, there's a man whose opinions can be trusted .......Karl Marx . Actually Wilde said it. My first sentence was an example of irony ,btw.
I'm British and worked in Minnesota for a year or so. One of the first questions I was asked, when meeting someone for the first time, was, "What Church do you belong to?".
My answer of, "I don't belong to any Church," typically resulted in a "Does not compute" expression, and silence, before they politely moved to talk with a fellow God-Botherer.
Also .... That sticky-out bit, on a Baseball Cap, is called a "Peak" and it goes at the front (especially if you are older than 12).
Brit here, when I occasionally wear a baseball cap I do turn it round depending where the sun is...
This literally wouldn’t happen in connecticut. I’d give someone a strange look if they ever asked me that question.
There must definitely be some regional differences then. I live in Arizona, and I don't believe a stranger has ever asked me that.
Never have I asked or been asked this question
In a Glasgow pub I was asked what religion I was. The answer has a whole different meaning there ;)
"America is a large friendly dog in a small room. Every time it wags its tail it knocks over a chair." Arnold Toynbee
😂
😂
@@DurinSBane-zh9hj Arnold Toynbee… haven’t heard that name in a while! Great quote!!
I resemble that comment!
😂😂😂
I'm british and a word of warning to americans is to never do the peace sign with the nails at the front. It's considered just as offensive as the middle finger in the UK, Ireland, Australia and New Zealand
I wonder when the meaning changed? Easy to find photos of Winston Churchill flashing it either direction. Was told it meant "V for Victory." Any thoughts?
I think it would be a good idea not to do any hand gestures at all while you are traveling, just in case.
Yeah, alot of Americans don't like Ben believe that two fingers in other countries means the same as the middle finger in the US, they just find it too amusing to believe. When I was in Scotland, someone did give me the middle finger; was told that the middle finger has become common in Britain.
The two finger sign has an interesting history. In battles, if an English archer was captured, the enemy ( usually the French) would cut off the two fingers, so the archer could not fire anymore arrows. When English Archers faced an enemy before battle, they would stick up their two fingers in defiance, to say " I'm still an Archer!! Watch out ".
Sticking two fingers up became an act of insulting defiance, more or less saying: " Up yours, mate! Get lost!" It's now considered a rude, offensive gesture.
Where in the U.S are you from?? I am 70 years old and have lived in the southeast United States all of my life. None of what you describe is anything like the U. S. I live in. I have never given a guest a tour of my house and have never been offered one. Waiters rarely bring a check to my table before I have asked or it. As a child I was always taught to be careful to use my "in-door voice" when appropriate. I would never ask a question of a stranger without first saying "excuse me" and using "please" and "thank you." People where I live don't cut lines. It is true that people here may ask friends where they go to church, but we don't discuss religion or politics in social settings. Most everything that you say the British find rude would also be considered rude in my part of the U. S.
THANK YOU!!! So true🎉
Thanks for that. I don't know if Georgia and South Carolina are considered southeast USA, but people I know from there are all louder than Europeans. Maybe you're quiet by American standards but still loud by European standards?
@@gordon1545 I’m from South Carolina and have been to Europe and never had any issues. I guess we were just “brought up” that way. I agree with you- please and thank you , don’t discuss money, politics or religion outside of family. The only thing I did that was commented on was how I used Sir or Ma’am but then I’m a military brat 😂🎉
I've seen videos on 'Southern Manners' and found them very similar to what I'm used to
Southern Americans are much more polite, gracious, even, than the ones described here.
The wearing a hat when eating indoors is considered rude in the UK . It is the classic tell for an American. Also wearing a hat indoors. Why wear a hat indoors. A hat is outer wear.
It was considered rude here in America many years ago.
...or to cover baldness.
Loads of Poms do it as well - also sunglasses.
@@elainebutterworth8051own your bald head. Hair is overrated.
@liveinhope George Galloway never takes his hat off!
Jumping a queue - very frowned upon in the UK and likely to provoke an uncharacteristic reaction from even the most reserved people.
It is now a dying curtesy, especially in areas dominated by non-British people.
photoisca7386 is right that the invisible queue is dying out in Britain- particularly for city bus queues - but it's still a strong tradition where it matters. I live in a busy town with an over-subscribed Citizens Advice Bureau (free advice), where people would queue up for an hour or two before it opens. Because there is no seating at the door, they seat themselves around the small garden courtyard in front. When the office opened, I watched everyone silently line up in the order in which they arrived....you just know to take a mental snapshot when you do.
Indeed. The tutting will be perceptible.
See the Holly and Phillip scandal about jumping like queue to see the Queen lying in state!!!
I don't queue at bus stops in London
As a brit who lives in the US, my experience is that the server will come by when you are finished and ask whether you want anything else. If you say no, the bill appears within seconds.
I'm Danish but many of our customs are much like the British. My pet peeve in USA is that the servers want you out of a restaurant as fast as possible. I understand the reason but find it annoying anyway. If I go out for dinner with friends in Denmark, it's normal that the meal including coffee, drinks etc. last 3-4 hours.
Absolutely, it is a social event.
Not only in Denmark, for sure.
@@WoozyPolarBear Not really. It can take an hour for your food to arrive, one hour to eat it and the last hour is dessert and drinks. Pretty normal really :)
@@WoozyPolarBear Like @neilthewheelio said : eating out is a social event and this is in Europe normal. I can even confirm the same in SE Asia.
@@bex-fl-1 As eating out is a social event, In Europe we will be having a talk after the food and during dessert/coffee
I would like to add, in Canada, we hold the door for people entering businesses. The people walking through say, "Thank you!" I once held the door open for people in the U.S. and they walked through without so much as a backward glance. My immediate thought wasm "How ruuuuude!"
I think a common response in the UK to not being thanked for holding a door open is a very audible, 'You're welcome!', said in a tone which conveys utter contempt and which heaps public opprobrium on the head of the offender.
Here in Canada we also say You're Welcome in a loud condescending voice.
@@robinholland1136 Yes I do that too ! and also when I stop to let someone cross the road and they don't acknowledge with a wave or a nod of the head, i wind the window down and shout 'you're welcome' ! they look so surprised, I guess you have to blame the parents for not teaching them good manners.
You must have been in the northern US. Southerners usually have way better manners. I'm female but my parents taught me to hold a door open for anyone, male or female. I can't imagine not thanking someone who did it for me. 😱
@@Mick_Ts_Chick midwest.
If you want to be really polite, say "May I have.."..not "Can I have."
Never forget asking, " May I have .." in a restaurant in Rome. The waiter stopped and thanked me, saying that it was so lovely to hear. My partner and I had a lovely attentive waiter as a result. Politeness matters.
Sadly, it's being increasingly usurped by "Can I get" 😖😑
I often say "could I" because "may I", sadly, feels off in many settings but "can I" feels wrong too.
@@AndreiTupolevI would be digging my own grave very shortly afterward if I dared to say “Can I get…” in earshot of my Mum (and I’m an adult!)
It was drilled into me as a child that you say “Excuse me, please may I have…?” and upon receiving either an answer or the item “Thank you very much!”
When I went to somebody’s house, even if they just invited me in for two minutes (say to wait for a friend to get ready to go out with me when I was a teen), I would say “Thank you for having me!” before I left. It’s just polite to thank them for letting me into their space!
Personally, splitting hairs on intricacies of pointless linguistic tradition is pointless and deliberately awkward. It means the same thing and the attitude begins to reek of classism.
@@mattparkin7224 May I ask how is it classist? To me it just depends on what you consider to be polite! I am firmly working class from a tiny rural “pit village”, yet I was always taught, both at home and at school, that it was polite to request things with “Please may I have…”.
“Can I get” just sounds really wrong to my ears. If someone said it to me I would be slightly taken aback but would still give them what they were asking for. I would however think they were a little rude, or maybe a little forward, as it just sounds a bit demanding. Like the answer is already assumed to be yes rather than being a genuine request that can be answered yes or no.
I don’t know how else to explain it, it’s just not what I’m used to!
My brothers and I travelled UK to the BiG Apple for a weekend. While there we were celebrating one of my brother's significant birthday. I booked a restaurant and specifically negotiated with the manager that we wanted a "British Dining experience"
He looked nonplussed, so I explained that in the UK we effectively rent there table as if it's in our own dining room. By all means check things are. ok, take and fulfil orders, but if they played the game we would reflect the hospitality shown.
Come the dinner we stayed at the table for about 4 and half hours. We were a party of 6 (Dad was there too) and we had a brilliant time. The resultant bill was just short of eye-watering but the tip was certainly of a size that the waiter confirmed was bigger than they would typically earn during a shift.
I returned to NYC a couple of months later and I noticed that for one night a month the restaurant was running "British Dining Experiences" on a Thursday night needed to be for a 6 seat minimum but service would be as required (no pushing to turn). It was regularly selling out
As an American, i have never had anyone ask me where I went to church. I would think it rude.
My mother told me, long ago, to never discuss religion or politics if you want to keep friendly relationships. I have heard that from others, as well.
I’m an American and I can’t stand how loud people talk. In public places, I’ve heard some pretty disgusting cell phone conversations about extremely personal topics delivered in a loud voice in places like restaurants and coffee shops. I’ve always been bothered by this aspect of our culture.
I’m American and I don’t think Americans are all that loud. I think people who think Americans are all that loud have limited exposure. I have been to some Latin American and Caribbean countries (and lived in one) where I initially would think people were arguing when oftentimes they were just talking because they were so loud. Once I realized this I joined in the rambunctious fun. TBH I don’t particularly like being around super quiet people because they are usually uptight. I prefer traveling to Latin American/Caribbean countries over European ones. I find the people more fun and more relatable.
I’m American and I agree with you, if I’m in a restaurant and I’m talking quietly with my friend or I am alone reading in the restaurant, I don’t want to hear the next table talk on their cell phone or to the person next to them about their medical problems, for example.
This is often so loud I can hear every word
@@anndeecosita3586 everybody has personality and their culture, but I wouldn’t call quiet people up tight.
Agreed. I had to be coached out of getting loud, somewhat. I'm much more aware of it now, as long as I maintain a courteous pace in conversation. Thanks! Good call.
Q "Where do you go to church?" - A "Depends where the wedding or funeral is"
😂
Or whether its been turned into a carpet warehouse.
Nailed it
A friend of mine with new American neighbours was asked if she could recommend a pastor. Being unfamiliar withe the word, she heard it as pasta. Very difficult conversation followed......
@@angelawhitehouse8066😂🤣😂
The private space thing is evident in British homes. Their front garden is often uninteresting, and access to their back garden is invariably accessed only through a gate. The back garden is where there are shrubs and flowers as well as patios with outdoor seating, and it's usually surrounded by a high fence. Having a back garden that is "not overlooked" is valued. It's definitely a private space.
Also, notably in older homes, the front "reception room" may have no doorway to any other room. There is often a toilet near the front door so guests need not venture into any other part of the house.
Yes it's highly valued to have a non overlooked back garden. I had an American neighbour once and he would just stand leaning on the fence looking right into our garden, he felt comfortable doing it, we thought it was weird.
Sometimes not even a gate, I think all but one of the places I've lived in my life, the only way to the garden was through the house.
Yes, we don’t utilise front garden space at all in uk for any practical reasons or even to sit out - unlike the US front porches etc.
@@Bobrogers99 we’re a small country with a big population. Our houses are the smallest in Europe, every bit of private space is of great value particularly if you’re lucky enough to have any outdoor space.
@7:54 In the example of shopping, and asking for assistance, in the UK, we would also use 'could' instead of 'can', as 'can' is an instruction, demanding and abrupt.
On the restaurant/eating thing, another difference is the teeminology. In the uk the instruments you use to eat your food with are called cutlery, utensils generally means things used for cooking such as fish slice, whisk etc.
Or I have heard people from the US call cutlery Silverware, which to me sounds like a display of say trophies, trays, christening/wedding ornaments or a fancy canteen of cutlery from a case. The way they use a knife or mainly using just a fork can be seen as rude, especially at a restaurant, where there may be several courses and the cutlery is set out in a particular way.
We say cutlery in the U.S. too. Although some say utensils or silverware (or plasticware for disposable cutlery, but kind of as a joke sometimes). I say cutlery.
In a working class New Zealand family, we set the table with the "silver", or the "tools".
@@HuntingViolets
Arrrrgghh _Disposable plastic cutlery !_ You've reminded me of the shock I kept having on a trip to New York this summer. Time and again in 'restaurants' there'd be these things ~ and paper plates & cups too ~ which I last saw at a child's fifth birthday party. I'd forgotten that they existed and yet they are rife there. Catch up with the rest of the world's recycling habits USA!
I was so flummoxed that by day three of the same, I questioned a waiter. She mistook my dismay for delight and trumpeted how much hot water energy it saved not having to wash them up and just toss them in the garbage can.
Heaven help us!!
Yet when I arranged a 8 course dinner (at a restaurant) with 4 British couples, not one of them knew where to start with the cutlery or glasses (full table setting) & and my wife & I had to show them the ropes.. Brits seem to have an overinflated idea of how classy they are.
Actually, placing your fork and knife in the center of your plate as shown here, is the correct way to indicate that you are finished with the meal. It is a signal that the server may remove them from the table.
yes in the UK
100% Absolutely used to be considered good American table manners, (Amy Vanderbilt etiquette guides confirm this . . . ).
@@SherriMcLain Yes, absolutely in US too! Taught that just about as soon as you can use a fork!!
And as shown, the knife and fork should be placed in the 4 O'clock position.
If you're still in the middle of your meal and need to leave the table for a moment (to be excused) you place your knife and fork with the tips crossed over, for example just like crossing your legs at the ankle.
This signals that you're not yet done with your meal. There's a further signal using the placement of your napkin.
@@SherriMcLain in Australia too
"It's none of your business". This statement is routinely used in the US, often without ill-will, but here in the UK it's a definite declaration of hostility, it's only ever said aggressively, indignantly or with extreme coldness, and only ever reacted to with any of those 3.
Seriously? Then how do you stop intrusive questions?
@@pamela_fay Usually with "That's personal" or "I'm not discussing that" etc; we only use "None..." if we REALLY dislike or want to goad the inquirer.
Depends how it’s said
@@jaybeebee9288Ok, so basically saying the same thing but just wording it differently. But as they say, 2 nations separated by a common language 😊
@@pamela_fay That's not basically saying the same thing. That's basically conveying the same meaning for what in the US is the same effect, but the effect HERE of "None of..." is almost a miniature declaration of war. As I remember, the older generations used "Mind your own business" which was also hostile but far more mild, it had the effect of, "Hey I want to stay friends/allies, but I'm not discussing that, ok?" . With "None of...", across all current generations, you make it VERY clear the inquirer is generally an unwanted presence.
I'm a senior citizen and I would consider the things you described as rude, as well. Sometime in the last thirty years, parents stopped teaching their children acceptable manners.
I live in Germany. We’re direct too. However, being rude is being lacking in respect for others and showing arrogance towards others. You are not more important than anyone else. Be polite and respectful towards others. I don’t want to hear your conversation, I obviously ask with a “please” and say “thank you” afterwards.
The Germans are too honest to be polite, the English too polite to be honest.
loud girl on the bus trying to pay for something on her phone, i realised this and took notes of her name address debit card and ccv #
she finished i got out my phone and at same volume said "HELLO, I SAW YOUR ADVERT ON EBAY DO YOU STILL HAVE THE ELEPHANT FOR SALE? OK GREAT CAN YOU DELIVER IT TO GAVE HER ADDRESS AND CARD DETAILS THEN SAID £500 FOR EXPRESS DELIVERY"
the bus was laughing their heads off
Mate, please don’t plead the “direct” argument when really many Germans are quite arrogant and disrespectful to others. It’s Germans expecting to force their culture on others. As an Australian with a German background, I have zero patience with typical rude German “behaviour”. Grüße aus Australien. Tschüss.
@@philiprice7875 Well you taught her a lesson that was for her own good. Some people are daft when it comes to phone conversations and their private details!
Was on a bus in Germany about 10 years back talking to my Dad back in the UK, had the whole lower bus to myself, suddenly Hannelore and Klaus walk on with their two little brats, and get into my face about "Hey, lower your voice" and "I've paid for my ticket too". I told them to mind their own damn business, I was a visiting professional spending money in their nation when they couldn't get enough skilled Germans to do the job.
Had another German who caused a stink with the other train passengers and wouldn't remove his fruit basket from a seat. He knocked it into my thigh, I knocked the contents onto the floor. You people have a hard time dealing with others on public transport, for an otherwise very civilised people.
Walking up to someone in a supermarket and just asking 'where's the flour?' would be regarded as rather rude, perhaps aggressive here in the UK. I always start with 'Oh sorry to bother you, but...' to soften the approach. I do it on the phone too: 'Sorry to bother you but I'm wondering if my car is ready yet...'.
I was at a London tube station once (Bakerloo line) and a rather loudly spoken American said 'gee I guess the Brits need some spelling lessons, that says BACKERLOO!'. It wound me up so much I wanted to punch his lights out, but that would've been rude...
Definitely,manners cost nothing it's free to be polite. I always say "excuse me" when asking a member of staff in a supermarket where an item may be.
Goodness, you showed more restraint than I imagined I would've. Well done😊
I am NOT going to apologize to anyone just for asking!
It's simply good manners. 👍
06:59 The rudness of not saying "Excuse me, where are the X, please ?" etc. seems to be more of an inner-city norm; in my experience. Otherwise, there's always a "Please/Thanks".
The fact most Americans I have met seem to never appreciate people that work to provide services to them has really annoyed me a few times. Here in Britain it is considered quite normal to thank the bus driver or the checkout person or the ticket sellers etc etc etc. my SO is American and it took a while for them to learn just general manners.
probably relates back to slavery or something (just a guess).
In Australia, it's seen as being arrogant/thinking of yourself as being above others to not show respect for those sorts of people & add tradies to that list too & people here all see it as a way of showing they are decent people, by treating serving type people well
We show servers appreciation by tipping them, which is also apparently weird in your country.
@@davequinn3093not weird, just not required or expected. I get plenty of tips I just don’t rely on them for my livelihood, they’re a lovely compliment from someone who appreciated my service though! Manners, however, cannot be bought.
@@davequinn3093 you don't though do you! You tip for their survival, which is a totally different thing. We tip if someone actually deserves it, making the tip far more special than if it's built into the payments & required. We also pay living wages, which imo is a much stronger sign of appreciation than blackmailing a person into enduring whatever abuse a customer wants to throw at them.
Additionally, to me it's actually pretty messed up to suggest that only the rich have the ability to show appreciation, or the richer you are, the more appreciation you can show, that's why it's so important to us to have non-financial ways to show appreciation. Volunteering is a big thing here, cause that means supporting the person's community at a pro-rata rate, making everyone equal. Ie, a CEO who makes $10,000 per hour & a minimum wage worker who only earns $30 per hour are both contributing the same percentage of their income if they give up an hour of work to volunteer, aren't they
I live in the Netherlands and the door where the bus driver sits is entry only, so we'd need to shout to thank them, so we don't do that. I do invariably say hello to the driver when I board though. I also greet and thank people at the cash register and use the polite form of address, unless I'm a regular customer.
8:08 As a German I had to giggle a little hearing about the "American style of direct communication". But, yes, compared to the Brits it might be a little more direct. Btw, even Germans manage to say "Excuse me" and "Please" when talking to service staff (at least that's my experience).
I just saw a video of a German woman pointing and laughing at the guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. Dont remember her saying "excuse me"
The reason you don’t move your seat on the plane without asking is because if there were , heaven forbid, an air crash they could determine who the person was by their seat number
Another reason not to change seats before takeoff is that affects the "Weight & Balance" that's been calculated (OK, not the weight!) which affects how the aircraft handles on takeoff. I've heard the crew announce that as there are a lot of empty seats, passengers may change seats once airborne and the seat-belts signs are off, but not before then.
They also have weight and balance issues you may not be aware of, which is why you should always ask first.
On my many travels in the US, the number of times in a cafe a customer has addressed the person behind the counter with the words 'fix me!' to get an order. No 'please', no 'could you', just straight out demand. That appears so rude to us.
It is rude to many Americans as well. I am an American and was raised to say please and thank you both at home and while out and about.
Thank you for your comment, good to hear your point of view. 'Being polite costs nothing' - something drilled into us as kids. Kind regards. @@kathleendavis5727
It can seem rude so it’s better to be a bit more explicitly polite such as by phrasing it as a request, but it’s not seen by the speaker as making a demand, but as relaying your order efficiently. The staff are there to perform a service, both parties know this, there’s no need for the customers to make a long elaborate ritual out of the answer when they ask what you want.
Sorry, didn’t realise you had broken down!
@@JustMe-dc6ks then they should ASK efficiently and not bark their requests - that’s still rude
Never EVER ask 'how much money do ya make' or 'how much money do you have'. It is the height of bad manners. The only people ever allowed to ask those questions are, respectively, your bank manager or the person holding you up with a knife at a cash-point.
@jamescalverley8694 Wouldn't bother me. I would reply 'Not enough.' or 'Depends on how much ink I have in my printer.'
@@Poliss95 🤣🤣🤣
This needs to change its one of the ways we are encouraged to settle for less
oh and don't forget the taxman but that's all done via PAYE.
I've read Jane Austen, they talk about how much Mr. Darcy is worth, how much Mr. Bingley is worth, how much Mr. Rushworth is worth, how much Georgiana Darcy is worth, how much Anne de Bourgh is worth, et cetera, et cetera. Don't tell me that that's solely an American thing.
In the uk it’s usually when you’ve just moved house that you show visitors round. Also we don’t always meet outside - we love having dinner parties at home!!🎉🎉
I was on a train in the US and two girls behind me were talking so loudly I actually turned round and told them to turn down the volume. And in a diner I was shocked that people don't say please and thank you when ordering! Incredibly rude.
My wife and I were in a roof-top restaurant in Nice. The restaurant was long and thin, to give everyone a good view of the sea, and we were at one end. We, and people from all over the world throughout the restaurant, couldn't hear our own conversations because there were two tables of Americans in the place. They were at the far end from us (which was good), but had been placed next to each other (which was bad). So each table just increased and increased their own volume so as to be able to hear over their neighbours, so nobody else could hear at all.
Quite incredibly selfish and rude. But very American.
You’re allowed to talk to your travelling companions but my pet hate is people yakking away on their mobiles
@@kgbgb3663Canadians are similar. I think North Americans are deaf. It must be the incessant noise from Harley Davidsons and loud exhausts. Oooh look at me!
They don’t even ASK when ordering! It’s all, “I’ll get the…” It’s horrible. (A) No, you’re not getting it, the server is, and (B) Ask nicely! Horrible.
The pleasing is very Britishe, the rest of differenses also apply for many other European countries, like Norway. My daugter studied to her Bachelor degree in England, and when my husband and I wisited her, we were instructed by her to always say please. We adapted very fast.
It never hurts to say please & thank you 😊
I live in the USA, born In the Uk. There isn’t a day that goes by that I dont think, “ gosh these people are so loud” or man, “ they’re so rude”. My pet peeve is when the server takes your plate as soon as you’re finished instead of waiting for the other diners to finish. They ask you if you’re done “working” on your meal, to which I reply, yes I’ve finished eating thank you. I find them generally so blunt, with little finesse or polish, especially your average male. They don’t know how to dress and love to carry around these enormous mugs of soda. On the plus side. They’re extremely positive, upbeat, fun, friendly and they get shit done.
Why do they all carry a drink of some kind every where they go. Gum chewing also does my head in, if their nerves are so bad go find another job.
You could be In the uk surrounded by grooming gangs. Swaths of imported criminals and a police force that runs away.
@@aleckerby1236 Spot on.
And some even support Trump!
I was all ready to be upset with you... but then that ending... You saved it. We both have to learn to accept that social norms are different in different regions. You really have no right to think me rude UNLESS I have come to your British town and broken some British tradition or etiquette. If I am just an American in America being American, then it's NOT RUDE!!! Its the norm. But calling it rude is very rude! So there! LOL Your comments are a cold cup of water in the face because I am a huge fan of British TV, I could name 15 favorite shows right now, and I have always assumed that I would enjoy the company of Brits and that they would enjoy my company as well. But maybe not. I spent half of yesterday lamenting the loss of Maggie Smith - truly a world wide treasure. So yeah... its very uncomfortable hearing an objective unfiltered opinion.
Regarding your pet peeve about servers, you just have to accept a lot of that is not their choice but is in fact the policy of the management of the restaurant chain. And the best way to address it is with your patronage. If you don't like how the servers behave at a given restaurant or chain, don't go back. Honestly, very little is in their control.
Sorry to contradict, but Americans DO put their utensils in the same or similar position to signal they are done. I don't know anyone who does not do this. :)
Also if you put the fork behind one ear, and balance the knife between your top lip and nose… this indicates to the waiter that you are completely insane
If you poke them under your top lip so you have cutlery as walrus tusks ....the wait staff know to stop serving alcohol.
😅😅😅😅😅😅😅
Yes, and she missed that two bread sticks up the nostrils indicates to serving staff you're ready for the next course. Also, you generally indicate you're ready to pay by writing "Bill Please" on your wife's forehead with a felt tip, though I have had that misunderstood and the waiter brought us a duck (it would possibly be a platypus in Australia)..
Funny. And some people can stick a spoon to their nose.
Elsewhere, I saw a video by an American who had visited Europe, and spent a week with a group of people from various countries, including Britain. He said it suddenly hit him at the end of the week that he had no idea what any of them did for a living, what kind of house they lived in, how much money they made, what their educational qualifications were - they'd talked about all sorts of different subjects, but never even *mentioned* anything like that, which he said would be regarded as normal to talk about where he lived! He didn't know whether they didn't think stuff like that to be important, or whether they felt such details about their life were 'none of anyone else's business' - but, he said, even looking back on it some time later, he still found it astonishing.
Re. religion; I can think of one family I'd known for over 30 years, and they'd mentioned that the mother "sang in the church choir" - but I didn't know which church they belonged to until I went to the father's funeral. I can well believe an American would ask "Why didn't they ever *tell* you which church they belonged to?" - to which my answer would be "Why should they? That's none of my business!"
That's because in the UK and in Europe your job, your income and your religion don't define who you are. They're not your personality, and they can all be changed.
Also, on religion, we spent centuries killing each other over religion so no wonder we learned not to talk about it with strangers.
I think the main thing here in the U.K., in a social setting anyway, is that people generally don’t really care about what you do, how much you earn etc. As long as you’re not boring, you’re fine! We want banter, laughs, not a breakdown of your CV and how many zeros are at the end of your salary 😂
@@yasminm7157 Correct.
@@yasminm7157 yeah we are not snobs that look down or up .. If your not an arse we will prob like you, the rest is dressing
@@jackx4311 Perhaps the Europeans don't feel that they as individuals can be 'pigeonholed' for their character by simple facts such as Religion, House/Home size/style, Income .
(Neither do I, fwiw )
Re getting a restaurant bill soon after the food is served . . .
Another reason this is not done in the UK is that it's common here not to decide what further course(s) one wants (if any) until after the main course is eaten, and whether or not to order further drinks (coffee, brandy, etc.) until the final food course is finished.
Servers routinely ask when clearing after each eaten course if further courses are wanted (and if not, the diners will anyway ask), will add the further items to the bill as the meal progresses, and will not present it until everyone has confirmed they want nothing more, so that it's definitively complete.
There may be a generational aspect to this. Not quite the same thing but there's a particular café I'm very fond of, run by a Scottish-Italian family (father from Salerno, mother and three children all Scottish-born), where you order your meal at the counter and they bring it to you. I've noticed that if the younger family members serve you they instinctively go to take payment immediately unless you ask them not to, whereas the parents are laid back and let you pay when you're done. Which is good because after you've had the meal you ordered, you might well be tempted by the selection of excellent cakes and pastries they bring in from an Italian-owned bakery nearby.
You can still add to the bill, they’re just leaving it with you so you don’t have to wait for them in order to pay when you’re finished. They’re not telling you they’re done with taking your order or to hurry up and leave, they’ll check back to see if you want anything else. They’re just giving you the option to pay as soon as you’re ready to leave. It’s actually more efficient for both sides that you don’t have to wait for them when you’re done.
They usually at least ask whether you want dessert before bringing the bill, I think. (U.S.)
@@walneygirlI think that in general, if you order at the counter then payment is taken at the time of ordering, if there is table service then payment is taken when the meal is finished
Right, and if I was British, with (by definition) nothing important to do or anywhere important to go, that would be fine. Most people eat and want to go, not sit around wasting time at a restaurant waiting for the bill. Wasting my time in not tolerated.
Many years ago, I had an American expat (from New York) as my project manager. He was from New York, but he had lived in Norway for a couple of decades. Lovely man. He sometimes talked about what it was like to go home to visit family and friends, or have them visiting him. He had gotten so used to people using their indoor voices when they talked that the had to go through a period of "social acclimatization" when he spent time with his loved ones from home. "We Americans don't really talk to each other. We shout, and I find it really invasive and draining now that I'm not used to it anymore." Amen to that, Brother!
I remember being in the bubble of a 747 (economy seating) when the flight attendant announced that boarding was complete and we could spread out to the available seats.
Before she’d finished her sentence one couple leapt from their seats and threw themselves onto a row each. God help anyone who got in their way.
I remember thinking that while they each had a row to themselves, once the flight was over they still wouldn’t have class.
Air travel displays humanity at its worst - apart from cabin crew who must be on medication to act with such tolerance of selfish idiots. Rant over
The loudness point is exactly the same as the last point about entitlement/selfishness/assertiveness in taking something in a communal situation.
If you are being loud you are monopolising the shared space in a sonic sense! If you conceptualise it by that principle of not taking up a big footprint, leaving space for others, (rather than some rule about noise levels) then whether you are used to loud or quiet places doesn't really change it. If you constantly aware of how much conceptual "space" you are taking up in life, then it's just natural to notice when you are taking up more than your fair share of the specific environment you're currently in, rather than some arbitrary loudness value, and you don't need to make different rules for different situations (e.g. library vs office vs rock concert), it's just a general principle that works everywhere!
Yes, Americans prioritise individual freedom above collective responsibility.
Yes if only America etc al would learn this!
Britain has lots to learn too, of course.
Extremely sensible. Now try explaining it to MAGA Americans. 🤬
OMG, mind your own business. This is why Americans are free to do and say whatever we want. Have you ever been to a concert in Scotland? Loudest, rudest people I have ever met.
Conversely, if a friend is hard of hearing, most Brits I've met won't speak up enough for the person to hear them. That's rude, isn't it?
Re queueing . . .
In the UK there may not actually be a physical line, but everybody who joins a 'notional' queue (at the bar in a pub, for instance) knows who was already there and, consequently, who arrived later.
The bar staff (in this example) also have a fairly good idea, but not complete as they have to be looking at what they're doing as well. It's quite common for a barperson (we rarely say "bartender") to ask "Who's next; you Sir?" and for the addressed person to say "No, he/she's next." Often, it's done wordlessly, with raised eyebrows and nods or gestures.
Yes, it is like that at the vets, you are all sitting in a waiting room but you have to keep track of who was there when you got there so you can take your turn.
Yes, bar staff usually have a pretty good idea who comes next. Waving a bank note will NOT get you preferential treatment. Stating that "no, this person was next" will always get you served second, even if you were actually 5th.
@@Canalcoholicthere is one exception at the bar: the regulars.
Works much less well for females waiting to be served. We’re regularly and routinely overlooked by bar staff. Sadly.
old days (1980's)go to the GP see about 10 people in waiting room you ask who is last> some one pipes up me and you wait untill they go in
To summarise, people in the UK are more polite
Regarding religion, we had an American colleague of my husband to stay who insisted that we held hands while he said grace. We are atheists and found it incredibly rude that someone should impose his religion on us in our own home. I was so shocked that l didn’t say anything but if it were to happen again l would certainly object.
@@lizbignell2820 you should have just said No Thank you but you go ahead. It is very rude to impose any religion on anyone but especially in their own home. He should have asked you if it would be ok if he said Grace? And even if you said yes, Holding hands No! People should not presume everyone thinks and feels the same way they do.
@@jeffthomas2364I agree I would have said you go ahead but I’d rather not thank you.
Exactly - as a Brit, you were not only shocked but also too polite to say anything, because we would feel that we were being rude, despite the American colleague's rudeness!
I would have laughed and started my meal... but, my parents are Irish, so that might be the garnish here.
@lizbignell2820 I would ask them if they knew where the door was because they were leaving immediately and would not be invited back.
The placing of cutlery originally evolved in etiquette as a signal to the waiter. Straight together was a sign you were finished, crossed was a sign you were still eating.
As is the use of your napkin (serviette).
I really learned that lesson the hard way, on my first visit to usa I was with friends in a restaurant and towards the end of the meal I just couldn't hold myself any longer and had to go for a wee; I am one of those people who save the best of my food till last and I had a lovely chunk of meat and gravy and just the right amount of mashed potatoes left to enjoy it. I carefully and deliberately left my cutlery crossed so that the waiter would know I hadn't finished, dashed to the loo and dashed back only to find to my horror that my plate was gone!!! I was so upset and outraged that I most uncharacteristically demanded that it be replaced but really the meal was ruined for me.
It's so ingrained that even at home, eating my tea on my knee while watching the TV, when I finish I put my cutlery together neatly before getting up and taking them to the dishwasher.
Yup, one of the many British manners I was taught as a small child. It's automatic now, wherever I am.
05:30 London, England, alone on sofa. Just checked snack plate & and yeah, cutlery aligned by autopilot.
During the Irish “Troubles” during the 70s-90s giving the wrong response to the question ‘Church or Chapel?’ could get you killed. Yet another reason why region is not discussed in the UK.
It is far older than that, in fact. The U.K. has a state religion. Being of the wrong religion could get you killed or jailed for centuries. Membership in the wrong religion could be perceived as lack of loyalty to the throne. The roots of This practice in the U.K. is not really decorum. It is self preservation.
I’ve never had a server in the US. bring me the check shortly after ordering my meal.
And I always use niceties when asking people in the store
Bill Bryson, a quote from an American author who wrote 'Notes from a Small Island' nails British attitudes to queuing...'not only do the British queue, they queue without being told to do so!'
It wasn't always so. I have pictures of people trying to board buses and trams in the 1920s and '30s which look like a rugby scrum. In 1941 it was made law that more than six people waiting for a bus had to form an orderly queue, and the same naturally happened in shops where most commodities were rationed, so by the end of the war the nation had habituated to forming a queue whenever there was a need for it. Thankfully it's a habit we've never lost.
@@davidjones332 There was a war on, and blackout conditions at night. Queuing helped prevent people getting run over in the dark.
@@davidjones332Thanks. You verify what my mum has always told me - that queuing in this country, UK, began with the onset of rationing in WW2.
In the UK I have literally seen people queuing up to queue
Of course.
The "polite" requests are also showing there's no assumption of status, despite one person working in the service role and the other the paying customer. Money isn't what gives you social standing to nearly the same extent.
The last census in the UK revealed that the majority now have no religion. So asking about what church a person goes to will quite likely be met by a "Huh?" response.
I think most Brits finally realised that after 2000 years of waiting Jesus just isn't showing up. Our patience is finally exhausted. It was probably just a made up story anyway.
I am from a catholic family that sent me to a protestant school, then a progressive comprehensive secondary that had no religious bias.
I was and am an atheist. However when it comes to heritage and culture I am absolutely a Christian. Even Richard Dawkins acknowledges this.
i think more people have religion than that but get ya point..
@@John-k6f9kIt's a small minded view though since God is infinite so a few thousand years would be like a weekend to him. Most religious people understand that God won't often do things on our watch
It is making a huge assumption. Very judgemental.
Placing the knife and fork the way you describe, - knife on the right, fork turned upwards beside it, is not just an odd custom, it’s actually a sign to the waiter that you have finished eating. No matter how busy he or she is, a good waiter will spot this and come to clear the table as soon as they can. It’s much more civilised than trying to catch the water’s eye by raising an arm or waving, which they may not appreciate.
--- or snapping your fingers at the waiter!
Crossed knife and fork could be considered as the crossed bones on a pirate flag. A sign for the waiter not to expect a tip.
@@flitsertheo The crossed knife and fork also means you are not finished yet and dont clear the table.
@@ianm452 old story waiter on the QE2 some one snaps his fingers waiter goes up to him says i am not a dog dont snap fingers at me pal
I'm Australian, my mother was a waitress. She taught me that with knife and fork together the plate is "closed". You have finished eating. With knife and fork apart, the plate is "open", you have not finished eating.
Knife and fork side by side is the standard way, it’s more natural for us because we use both to eat.
Good point. Americans are more likely to cut their food into pieces, then put down the knife and switch the fork to their right hand to eat one-handed.
Other cultures can be particular about utensil usage too. In Indonesia I was sometimes politely "corrected" for eating with just a fork. They traditionally use a spoon and fork, with the spoon in the right hand and the fork just to help load the spoon. Being unaccustomed to eating a main course with a spoon, I would leave it on the table and eat one-handed with the fork, which would often be picked up on by other diners.
Edit: Regarding utensil placement when finished, the Indonesians are similar to the British in that they place their spoon and fork in a certain way to indicate completion. Not parallel, but in approximately the "8.20" position with tips touching. Frequently corrected on that too before I learnt.
@@jaygee5693 A Chef will prepare your food and take time to make it look nice on the plate, then along comes an American who cuts it up into small pieces making it look a complete mess, akin to something you`d do to s little childs dinner.
@@admiralcraddock464 Right 😆 British CHILDREN have their meat cut into pieces for them. Americans don't grow out of it. . .
Not for Americans ,using just their hands to gorge on all that junk food;burgers,hot dogs ,pizzas,burritos.Champion eaters of the stuff!
@@admiralcraddock464 The paper or plastic throwaway plate just adds to the Americanness.
My wife will only allow people to see the rooms that we have tidied, while the junk is piled up in all the forbidden ones, often our bedroom.
Wait, are you.. my husband?
@@tammyowen6769 I sense a stereotype developing here!
I was stationed in the U.K. With the American Air Force in the 1980s. Our assignment was coming to an end, and my British landlord, who lived out of the area, asked be to be home in the middle of the day to show a prospective tenant the house. Having to go back to work afterward, I kept my uniform on. When the gentleman arrived, he looked at me and said :“Thank god, an American!” He was Canadian and was apparently not enjoying his company’s “career broadening” assignment to the mother country of U.K.
Had a pushy American one evening in Florence. Was alone in the queue for a restaurant not yet open at the start of the queue and an American woman wanted to read the menu on a chalk board at the entrance. That is what she said! Was then joined by another person and then another! I just watched!!! My daughter finally arrived and I did the eyebrow rise at the group! The restaurant finally opened, the American group, being joined by another friend, surged in without a backward glance!!
The waiter asked if we wanted to sit next to them and I emphatically said “certainly not”! At which he gave a big grin!! As an after thought I wonder if that is how this group operated all over Europe? No wonder Some Americans get a bad name!
Yes, I've seen the same when I lived in Europe but unfortunately I suspect that post the catastrophic brexit the english are viewed with a similar contempt as Europeans have no way of distinguishing between the rude and exceptionalist ones and decent people.
@@PurityVendettaoh bless you! Having travelled to mainland Europe dozens of times since the democratic decision to leave the EU, the one single bad comment I’ve had is from a family member who lives abroad and doesn’t even know the UK anymore. From the rest it’s been surprise and respect for having the courage to stand alone. But you do you.
@@PurityVendettaWTF?
Well, that’s not acceptable in the US either. Can’t stand that!
@@Peter-gv6vf Sorry, if your powers of comprehension are matched to your level of literacy I can't help you.
You've missed off the one about Americans holding their forks in their right hands, waving them in the air as they speak and cutting their food with them. It's regarded as really 'lower class' and uncultured to do that in the United Kingdom. The reason that you ask if you can move seats on an aeroplane is so that, if there is an accident and they're finding bodies, it helps to know who was in that seat (so I was told on a flight)😬
@johncookson9751 Kalyn did the knife and fork thing in another video.
Watching Americans eat en masse is... mesmerising. Like pigs at a trough.
No it isn’t
Only by members of certain classes.
Your Dad might hit your knuckles with his for it
Many of these British social customs also apply in Europe.
indeed, often more extreme variants in scandinavia and germany, UK people are loud to us and Americans are extremely loud!
Sorry to be pedantic but could you please say the 'the rest of Europe' or 'elsewhere in Europe'. Implying the UK is not in Europe is likely to ruffle feathers. By which I mean MY feathers.
They apply everywhere that is civilised. Guess what that makes the US?
@@barrysteven5964 Since Brexit, you aren't in Europe.
@@barrysteven5964 British Isles are part of the European continent, UK left the political "club" the European Union. So geographically nothing has changed, politically, well, here we are in a very changed Britain.
Eta, like Norway, part of Europe not part of EU.
These things are rude in the UK, however, there is an increasing cohort of rude people.
Watching too many American programmes
This is a thing older people say. It's not true. I was a teen in the peak era of ASBOS and all the rest, and my generation was the worst. We're all about 50 now, looking down on Gen Z.
@@gordon1545 You have a point, certainly the most violent and dishonest generation were in their teens from mid 70s to early 80s. I think however they were able to be polite when not out mugging and stealing.
Celebrity culture and cocaine have influenced the kind of people who had low standards to begin with.
@@ziggarillo It's the American 'culture' slowly infecting them. I hear so many young people saying American words for things now, instead of the UK equivalents.
Also they don't seem to understand how phones work either... They always have them on speaker-phone... I don't want to hear your conversation.
American here...older than you Kalyn so maybe it's generational but I have always been taught that there is unspoken language to your cutlery in a restaurant that conveys if you have completed your meal or if you are merely pausing. Also as per the bill delivery is also a status level of the restaurant. If you are eating at say, a diner you're probably getting your bill shortly after your meal arrives. If you are eating at the Ritz, you will not be receiving your bill moments after you receive your meal.
Aye, my 1st thought was how do they know you've finished.
❤️ from Northeast England ❤️
@@oopsdidItypethatoutloud Right? The way I was taught. If you cross your cutlery you're merely pausing. If you place it like Kalyn showed in the video, cutlery side by side and pointing in 10 and 4 o'clock position. You have completed your meal and the server may remove your dish.
@@jliscorpiocrossing you're cutlery is considered rude in the UK,
Aye, though we leave them at 20 past 7 if we're not finished.
Crossing them could be bad luck, as it was meant to be an insult to the host or cook. I'd forgotten all about that until Chris, in the comment above, reminded me
❤️ from Northeast England ❤️
You will also be asked if you require anything else before the bill is made up. This gives you time to adjust your sitting position so you won't fall off the chair when the bill IS presented.
Never talk about 1 religion, 2 money, or 3 politics.
Especially in a pub ... where alcohol will be involved.
No harm in a general discussion (or moan) but if it turns into a one-on-one confrontation, well ...
"The weather and everyone's health."
4 Football
Not talking about religion, money and politics is a class thing in the UK. It's taboo for the working classes. The more cultured/educated a social group, the more likely informed discussion happens about religion and politics.
Bollocks. If you are an atheist, politically engaged "have not" what is the point of keeping quiet?
Only well-off Americans give house tours, not the rest of us. The loud thing is annoying everywhere. Wish there was a remote control to turn the volume down on some people.
Definitely right about religion. And money is another one.
People would rather talk to strangers about their medical problems than religion or money
American: have you got a lot of money?
British person: I've got piles.
@@caw25sha😂😂😂
Some people like to talk about their medical problems way too much.
When you ask someone "How have you been?", or say "I hope you're well.", you don't really want to have to stop for 10 minutes to hear every detail about their ingrown toenail infection.
@@caw25sha 🤣
Still considered rude to talk about religion and money in the states..
In Australia it's very common to be in a store where people gather near the counter but not in a specific queue and when the staff ask "who's next?" you turn to someone who was there before you and say "are you being looked after?" Quite often that person has already been serves and is waiting for their items to be prepared but you would never push in front or not be considerate.
Yes, I have seen it work beautifully. It's the honour system with witnesses.
I've been using that technique in bars for decades, if you're asked, and you know it's not your turn, you say " No, this gentleman/lady was before me ", this will guarantee the barman/maid will remember your courtesy, and you'll definitely be served next ...
Aussie rule , great people .
Same here in Britain.
Doesn't work in front bars though
A strictly American thing which I saw was a group of US tourists in a rather nice restaurant (not fast food) actually joining hands and praying loudly/ saying grace when their food arrived. I thought this was incredibly rude and disruptive - everyone turned to stare at them. Pray if you want, but do it silently, although I have never seen anyone praying in a restaurant before!
How performative. Nobody's impressed, fella... Your god knows either way.
(ETA that comment is directed to the man in your story, not to you).
Ostentatious Christians
@@redwarrior2424 Christians are not allowed to pray in public. "But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret." (Mathew 6:6)
@@TasCaverneer
They probably thought they might snag a few errant souls that way. 🔥
As a Christian I agree. Don't force it down people's throats.
I feel the need to challenge you on a couple points.
Maybe this is different because I’m from Michigan, but every one I know always stacks their silverware on their plates when finished eating. This both signals to the wait/bussing staff we’re finished, and makes bussing the table easier. (Caveat: I’m not a fancy guy; we’re talking Olive Garden for special occasions.)
Second: no one I know bluntly asks things of retail staff. It’s always preceded by “excuse me…”, “”pardon me…”, “sorry to interrupt…”. To do otherwise is in fact rude. I’ve seen it, as rude people can be found anywhere, but is certainly not the norm.
Retail and wait staff get treated badly enough by their employers. I certainly won’t exacerbate that.
Someone once told me that he had annoying neighbours and then added " now I know how Canada feels!"
Brutal - but funny!
It's like we're living over a meth lab...
As a Canadian, I appreciate this sentiment. 😂
😂😂😂
Tooo funny
I work for an advice charity in England. A few years ago we had a visiting American student for the summer who helped with the phone calls. Other people in the same room found it really hard to concentrate because she was so loud. She had a notice stuck over her workspace saying INDOOR VOICE! But she just couldn't help it. It was a relief for the rest of us when she finished her stint and we could hear ourselves think again. I didn't realise how true the "loud Americans" thing was until I met her.
One way to address that would be to turn up the volume on her phone. If she hears a loud voice, she will unconsciously lower hers.
@@nickd4310 I'm not sure this will work... my reaction would be to speak louder to match the incoming voice.
@@jmi5969 It's not intuitive, but it actually works. (I have worked the phones too.) You can try it out yourself.
@@jmi5969 If you have a poor phone connection you speak louder. You don't lower your voice because you can hardly hear the other person.
Try living in a Mediterranean Country, then you;ll know what is like to eat in a noisy environment. Its like eating at a pop concert.
#8 - A request for utensils in the UK might result in you being brought a spatula and a balloon whisk. The appropriate collective term for dining implements in the UK is "cutlery".
Can't say I've ever thought someone eating in a restaurant asking for utensils could possibly be asking for things such as spatulas or whisks.. anymore than I'd figure someone saying "can I please have a knife?" If they were missing one at the table (or theirs was dirty) would potentially be asking for a kitchen knife which is much bigger and sharper than a standard knife.
Dont' know about your part of the UK, but in my part we use logic and common sense to determine what they might be referring to when asking for something that has more than one word to describe it. Utensils is fine if that's the word they can think of.
I just about died of embarrassment when Trump bullied his way to the front of a crowd of other world leaders. No class, no manners.
I used to work in a stately home which was open to the public through the summer. I have to say everyone dreaded the Americans coming in 😂 The entitlement is mind boggling. They would try and come in without paying, try and go into rooms that were out of bounds or said private on them and just generally be loud and obnoxious. We'd get so frustrated with them. Then at the end of their visit would say what a wonderful place to visit....while we gently ushered them out of the door half an hour after closing time 🙈.
75% of Americans do not own a passport. Why do people often say that as if it's a bad thing?😁
As an American myself, it's so disheartening to read comments like this again and again about Americans. I would not do any of those things you mentioned and would be embarrassed if someone I was with did them. I wonder if it's not just a generational thing but regional also.
@@redwarrior2424
Probably also about the kind of people who travel abroad in America (so, class/wealth)
@@redwarrior2424 well take heart in the fact that you are not the archetype, and if you treat others as you would like to be treated, you'll be marled as one of the exceptions which proves the rule.
And remember, for every demographic there are people who, like you, don't match negative expectations - so you're not alone.
@@DmGray It's possible that it's also related to an age thing. Given limited holidays, a *lot* of US tourists are retired, and have spent most, if not all, of their adult life in one culture, and only get to experience others at a somewhat advanced age, and may have what may seem to other people to be an excessive amount of curiosity. When I travel, I try to remind myself that I am basically a child in the culture I have traveled to, but doing that might not be easy for someone who is doing it for the first time, and is old enough to be a grandparent.
I don't like when the servers interrupt your conversation so they can check in on you it's like you're deep in conversation with the person or group you're with in the server comes to check on you
Even worse is when one person or several in a family group are served several minutes before everyone else in the small group is served. Or when plates are removed from some, while others are eating.
There's a legal reason in the UK for them to check "Is everything OK?" as it gives them an opportunity to fix any problems and reduce the chance of complaints after and disputes over the bill.
Either when you're deep in conversation or you've got your mouth full and then you have to do that awkward trying to chew your food while also not choking just to end up smiling and nodding lol
Cant bear that. Its creepy insincere crap
I don't know when they started doing that. I don't remember having the waiter interrupting my meals years ago. If there's a problem I'll let them know by getting their attention.
I have social anxiety and even hate speaking to salespeople in shops. BUT, if someone skips a queue there is something that triggers in my brain and I will absolutely make sure they know how I feel. It might just be a disgusted look and head shake, but often I actually spoke up and said something.
For ME to do that shows how big a deal it is!
If you do that here in the States, you might get shot. (I'm only half joking.)
The leaving your knife and fork together on your plate at the end of a meal is a very old tradition. It comes from the old fashioned thing where you would get a series of cutlery laid out before the meal, with different sets for each course. Then once you finish that course you leave them on the plate to be taken away, then you use the next set when the course arrives. Its also a good signal to the waiter to say you're finished with that course, if you leave the cutlery balanced on the edge of the plate on opposite sides it means you're still eating, whereas leaving them as you described means you're finished and would like the plate removed. This kind of style of service is very rare these days but it was taught so much to older generations that its just stuck around.
A guest would be seated in my living room and I would let them know where the toilet (bathroom) is in my council flat. I would not show them my bedroom. As I always offer guests at least tea and biscuits there wouldn't be much point them being shown around the little kitchen.
Same here , as I do not do a tour of my house . Privacy is important .
Religion was the root of a lot of strife throughout the British Isles from the mid C16th until in to the C19th (and there are still some issues in some places). Having been there, we don't wish to go there again and it is one of the reasons that people as a rule do not wish to talk about or discuss religion. The UK generally is much more secular (and increasingly so) than the US. The most recent census had far more people saying 'no religion' than previously.
I'd rather say that my religion is personal to me and need not be of any interest to others.
That is my thoughts I’ve from Glasgow and I had to tell American preachers that handing out bibles or tracts to customers in my work is not going to go down well here as we have customers of multi faiths and no one wants preached at when they go into a fast food place.
When you see some preachers in USA I wonder are they Christian or just out to accumulate wealth for themselves!
Within the United Kingdom we need a greater Christian culture, but without the hard division of Anglican, Catholic and Free church traditions. Not everyone wants the same style of worship.
Shoving your religion down other people's throats is the rudest thing imaginable. It's important to respect other's beliefs, or lack of them.
@@pinknylon1121 I see and hear more people criticising those that have a belief in a religion than the other way around. Often to declare that you are a Christian in particular, invites a diatribe on how bad Christianity is, all from one small bigoted opinion and I suspect that is one of the main reasons why Christians shy away from discussions.
House tour - no way! I don't want anyone to see my place, especially upstairs and the bedrooms! Americans also can't hold and use a knife and fork properly
hahaha What!? You need to explain that
@@aliservan7188I think the OP means knife in left hand, fork in right hand!
I had a broken arm, so I had to eat Euro style. It was awkward. And holding a fork tines down all the time is even more awkward.
@aliservan7188 Every tool in the World has been designed with an optimum way of using it in mind - for efficiency and safety - the traditional British way of using knives and forks isn't to make life difficult, or to be petty, but is to maximise control, efficiency, and to allow elbows to be kept close to the body. Americans tend to eat like a 4 year old experiencing cutlery for the first time - it's extremely jarring and actually embarrassing in formal situations.
@zandvoort8616. Yes. They are overwhelmed with knife and fork.😂
You have to also consider US culture was established with far more amalgamations of many different cultures (Africans, Argentinians, Armenians, Brazilians, Brits, Chinese, Cubans, French, Georgians, Greeks, Indians, Irish, Italians, Jamaicans, Japanese, Jews, Koreans, Mexicans, Native Indians, Polish, Portuguese, Russians, Scots, Spaniards, Swedes. Swiss, Vietnamese, etc.).
Putting cutlery on the plate after finishing is, in my mind, not only to signal finishing, but to avoid making an extra mess on the table.
Wearing a hat indoors the height of bad manners
Transport, pubs, and hotel lobbies are sort of outdoors for hat etiquette. However, in the hotel lobby hats to be removed when approaching the reception, or encountering a woman. On the approaching a woman subject, at any time in the street when passing a woman the hat is to be raised with the hand furthest away from the lady. It is also raised when encountering men friends as part of the greeting.
I generally don't wear a hat, but I thought it was only gentlemen who had to remove their hats indoors in traditional etiquette? And that a lady does not remove her hat indoors if she is dressed up. And that Sporting attire is a different thing
@@catherineb.2110 My comments only apply to men. You are right that women are not required to remove headgear indoors. See Carmen Miranda!
@@RadioJonophone According to Miss Manners, sports hats for women aren't included; she doesn't draw a line, so I don't know if, for example, a fashion baseball cap (see Janet Jackson, & many others since) is ok to be worn indoors. Miss Manners (Judith Martin) is traditional and considered old fashioned by many. I find her advice lines up with much of what British etiquette requires.
Our queuing thing isn't about being friendly and kind, as might be thought. It's the clearest example of enlightened self-interest you could ever see. If I don't want anyone jumping me in a queue then I must not jump anyone else in a queue, otherwise the system will break down.
The definition of anxiety is British people in an Italian queue. I'm saying this from experience.
I live in the South, and here we use ALL the please, thank yous, etc. I did have a woman from Brooklyn work in my store and people complained she was rude. She was to-the-point, direct, spoke quickly, and didn't insert all of the extra vowels into her words like we do. Very much a regional difference.
I’m British,husband is American.I have lots of things I can agree with,but you missed my pet peeve about Americans and that’s wearing hats in the house(unless for religious reasons) I don’t understand it and it really drives me mad.
I can see how that would annoy you, it doesn’t bother me as much as hats at the table!
Does that apply with women wearing hats in the house too?
My parents would be mortified if I wear a hat in the house. I always take my hat off whenever I enter any building.
@@juicyfruit4378Well anybody wearing a hat inside is a bit odd to be fair..
Agree, wearing a hat indoors is an absolute no no! I would consider it bad manners.
Knife and fork are not utensils...the name is cutlery.
True 👍
And definitely not "silverware" as I've heard some Americans refer to it. Interesting that they don't know what to call and don't know how to use it. I suppose the ultimate test would be a fully laid multi course laid table, including fish knives, soup spoons, etc,.
@@RoyCousins I often have a private chuckle when I think of the woman who didn`t know the National Anthem or how to curtsey when first married into the Royal Family, being seated at her first State Banquet.
Fly on the Wall time.
Silverware is simply the more expensive version of cutlery....used mainly at high end weddings etc....not really common household items.
Cutlery covers all table eating items whether standard or specific such as fish knife etc...
I often call knives and forks 'implements', but that's one of my foibles.